BY W. BLAXR.
VOLUME 26.
eittt pottrg.
ONWARD.
"Work while it ietalled
Onward 1 onward ! ever onward
Flow the rivers, sweep the tides ;
All is change and all is motion, '
Nothing steadfast here abides.
Never was it meant for slumber,
This great moving world of ours,
Never meant for lying dormant,
All man's high and varied powers.
Onward! onward ever• onward,
Circles still this mthty sphere,
_Move the Olinets, fly the comets
Steppeth time from year to year ;
All. for some great end and purpose
Parts of one harmonious plan,
~nfinitely_aise and - hidden, .
Prom the ken of finite man.
Onward! ()award thouglr - befors ye
All is sterile, dark and drear ;
'Tin to cultivate such regions
God_hits formed and placed us here.
--- Darkfiess•comes when no man knowe
o • e shadows steal apace.
•• . id- .1 ,,
We must wiu or lose the cute;
GOLDEN CRAM
Thou must be true thyself,
r*hon...thetrah_wonldstleach.:;__
Thy soul must overflow, if thou
Another &Nil Wouldst reach::
It needs the -overflowing heart
To give the lips full speech,
Think truly, and _ thy thought
Shall the world's fame reach;
Speak truly, and thy word
Shall be a faithful seed ;
Live_ truly, and thy life shall he
A great and noble creed.
Slisallautous Pading.
A Strange Story.
A Falmouth, N. Y., paper says: In a
eertajn park of our county there lives a
fam i
ily n which there . are tivo brothers
just entening into the prime of youthfid
manhood: A short distance from them—
in tact, in the same neighborhood—there
lives afamily in which there are two sis
'tors, also in the prime of maidenhood,—
beautiful, fascinating and attractive.—
Thft•ie young people being near neighbors
.and coming in contact with each other
ten,of
almost, naturally it would seem, fell
iu ove with each other, the eldest broth•
er with one of the sisters and the young
er with the other. .All went along smooth
ly for a time, and -these young people en
joyed themselves and dreamed bright
dreams of the future, and no doubt, in
imagination constructed fairy .palaces of
dove and gardens that like Paradise should
be only tilled with the beautiful flowers
and fruits ofghappiness and unalloyed en
joyment. Then as a matter of course, the
question of marrying arose, which must
be referred to the parents of the young
ladies for approval. The oldest brother
had no difficulty in obtaining their con
cunt to his marrying the young lady, and
the wedding d.ty was fixed upon. Then
the younger brother went to the parents
and made knoWn his attachment fee the
other sister and their mutual desire to
"splice" and travel the road• of life togeth
er." But the old folks were dedidedly op
posed to having more than one of their
,girls married to "that family," and plain
ly informed him that if he wanted a wife
he must go elsewhere to get her, intimat
ing that he should desist from paying fur
Cher attention to the young lady in ques
tion. But the young man was resolved
that if his brother married one of the girls
he would marry the other. So he went
to the "young lady of his love," and told
her the circumstances of the situation, and
desired her, if.she loved him, to prove her
love by running away with him. To this
she agreed, and the night was fixed upon
when they should carry out their mutual
agreement. But now comes the • strang
est part of the story. The two young la
dies resembled each other very much in
looks, voice, &c., and by some strange
freak when the night of elopement came,
and vie young man went to the appoint.
ed place of meeting, he found a woman
there whom he thought was the righs one,
but she was not. Unconscious of this,
however, he took her to the place where
the marriage ceremony was to be perform
ed before he found out that be was with
the wrong girl. Most wonderful to relate
he thought he had gone to all that trou
ble he would get married anyway, so he
asked her if she would have him, and she_
in order to carry out the joke, said she
would, and they were married then and
there. 'lt appears that she had heard him
making ariangements to elope with her
sister, and knowing the place of meeting,
determined to go their ahead of her and
. fool the young man for whom she enter
tained a secret liking, although she was
engaged to be married to his brother. Our
infOrmant also states ilitikafter • they had
lived together some little time, the eldest
brother determining to make the most of
the situation, took unto himself the other
sister.
The ghost of Noah Webster came to a
spiritual medium in Alabama, not long
since, and wrote on a slip of paper. "It
is tite times." Noah -was right, but we
are sorry to see be has gone back on 'his
4iictlyeary.
THE NEW CONATITUTION:
The Constitutional*Conventioiad,journ
ed on Monday evening the 3rd. inst., to
meet at Harrisburg on the 27th of De:
cember, for the purpose of counting the .
votes and transactin such other business_
as may .e necessary. The . special elec
tion on the' instrument will be • held on
the third Tuesday, being the 16th. day)
of December. It will be submitted as a
whole, and it roust "therefore all be en
dot sed or all repudiated. In all portions
of the' State, except Philadelphia, the
election is to be held under the general
election law. Five ' commissioners of
elections have been appointed by the Con
vention, who are to revise and correct the
registry lists of Philadelphia. Below will
be lbund a summary of the changes which
will be effected by the new constitution:
ARTICLE ON LEGISLATURE.
The House will be increased to not less
than 204 member, and the Senate will
contain 50Philadelphia's representation
-being-38-members-tind-B_Senators—The
sessions are to be biennial instead of an
meal ; term of Senators will be four years,
and members of the Ifousntwo—_ Salary
id mil, fixed by law- ^ - **;h th
and - mileage to be fix. ay law, with ,he
provision that during the term for which
the members are sitting they shall not in
crease their salaries. In apportioning
the House each county shall have one
member at least and du additional member
for every 17,600 inhabitants. The cities.
arre-to-have-teparate-distrimcbut no dira:
trict shall have more four represen-
Oneimportant provision requires eve
ry bill to be read on three different days
before its final • assa. e and on the_latter
the vote is 6o be taken by yeas and nays,
which are to be recorded on the, journal,
aud'irmajority - ofall-the-rnentbers are re
quired to vote on the final passage.
Section seven prohibits special or oca
legislation in all the cases which hereto
fore appeared objectinnal. Any local or
special bills not covered by this prohibi
tion -are required to be advertised for
thirty days prior to their introduction in
the locality where they are to take effect.
Section twelve relates to contracts for
providing the Legislature with stationa
ry, &c. It provides that the contract
shall be awarded to the lowest bidder,
and that no member shall be directly or
indirectly interested in such contract,—
The contracts are to be appraVcd by the
Auditor General, State Treasurer,
Gove
nor and Lieutenant Governor. Appro
priation bills are to embrace nothing but
the ordinary expenses of the Executive,
Legislative and Judiciary Departments,
interest on public debt, and public school
fund. All other appropriations are to be
made by•special bills.
• Section nineteen prohibits investments
of trust funds by executors, administra
tors and guardians in bonds and stoeks
of any private corporation, and such acts
now existing are avoidable.
The above are among the prominent
changes of the article on legislation.
THE EXECUTIVE
This article provides for the increasing ,
of the term of office of the Governor from
three to four years, and alio for the elec
tion of a Lieutenant Governor. who shall
be President of the Senate. The article
provides for the appointment of a Board
of Pardons, consisting of the Governor,
Lieutenant Governor, Secretary of the
Commonwealth, Attorney General, and
Secretury of Internal Affairs. (This lat
ter officer takes the place of that 'of the
present Surveyor General, whose office is
abolished.
One of the most important provisions
is that which allows the Governor to veto
any item in any appropriation, and ap
prove of the bfilance of the bill.
The Secretary of Internal Affairs will
serve a term of four years, Auditor Gen
eral three years, and State Treasurer two
years.
Auditor General and State Treasurer
to be incapaciated from bolding the same
office for two consecutive terms.
THE JUDICIARY
The Supreme Court will be increased
from five to seven judges, whose term of
office will be twenty-one instead of fifteen
years. They arg not eligible for re-elec
tion.
Section five'and six relate to Philadel
phia and Allegheny courts.
Provisions are made that all cases of
felonious homicide and other criminal
matters provided for by law may be re
moved to the Supreme Court. for review.
Another provides that parties, by a
greement filed, may in any civil case dis•
pense with trial of jury, and, submit the
same for the decision of the court.
The most important provision in this
article is that which allows a separate ju
dicial district for every 40,000 inhabi
tants. The judges are required to audit
and settle administrators' and decedents'
'accounts free of costs to the parties.
Whenever two judges of the Supreme
Court are to be chosen for the same term
of service, each voter shall vote for one
only ; and when three are to be chosen,
he shall vote for no more than two, and
candidates highest in vote shall be de
clared elected.
SUFFRAGE AND ELFAYFION.
The general elf.ction is to be changed
from the second Tuesday in October to
the first Monday in November.
And the local elections will be held on
the third Tuesday of February,•at which
the city, ward, borough, and township of
ficers are to be elected. The article re
quires a residence of each voter of at least
two•months in the district to entitle him
to vote, and in the case of foreigners they
must be citizens of the United States for
one month to entitle them to the elective
franchise.
An impnrtant. provision is that every
ballot si!all be numbered and recored on
444>V:izi ;7-N >1!!) hi ) 4 4i ill A >4 :T l # 111 :A >EI kliefA C 1 tWO AVizil > l O OA
WAYNESBORO', ,lIRANKLIN COUNIT, RA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20,1873.
the list otyoters opposite the name of the
elector. 'Another section refers all con
tested elections - to :the 'courts. including
the 'election of the electors of President
and Vice President of the United States:
This article requires that all taxation
shall be uniform upon the same class of
subjects and shall be levied and collected
under general laws.
It provides that the Legislature shall
continue and maintain the sinking fund,
pay the interest of the public debt, and
annually rediice the principal not less
than $250,000. It prohibits the use of
the sinking fund for any other purposes.
It declares the making of capital out of
the public moneys by any of the officers
of the State or• member of General As
sembly a criminal offence.
County officers are to be salaried, and
the fees which they are authorized to re
ceive shall be paid into the State or coun
.Areasur _. Profigions are made for the
election of three county commissioners
and three auditors on the limited vote
systemigiving-the-minority-a-repta
twa in each board.
PRIVATE CORPORATIONS.
This article provides that the cumula
tive system of voting shall be applied to
the election of directors and managers.
RAIL ROADS AND CANALS.
article auth
any association
- or — o s s s : s • 'sr-the-purpose
of constructing and operating a railroad
or canal between any points in this State.
It prohibits railroad and canal compa
nies from making any undue or unrea
.
sona4 mation - i a - freight - di arges-, -
and limits the charge for freight in the
same direction to an amount not exceed
ing the charge to_a more_distant station.
— lt also prohiliDi the eunsolidation-ef
railroads and canals with competing lines
by lease' or otherwise, and will not allow
any company doing the bilsiness of a
common carrier to engage in any business,
or to bold or acquire lands.
No officer of any railroad or canal
company shall furnish materials or sup
plies for such company ; and no company
shall make any discrimination in charges
or facilities between transportation com
panies and individuals. No free passes
shall be granted except to officers and
employees of such company, and no pas
senger railway in any city shall extend
or construct their road without the con
sent
of the local authorities.
An Amusing Marriage Serape.
If you desire to get married in South
Africa, you should first make inquiry
whether the lady you love has a horse ; if
so, you must ask her whether she has a
home for sale. If she says "No," then
you had better quit the house at once.
She Bees not lik.e you. But if, on the
other hand, she says "Yeas," it is a good
sign, but she will ask you a very high
price. If the amount is paid on the spot,
the engagement is concluded as fully as if
consummated by the parson. Mr. Gerard,
now of Philadelphia, formerly consul at
Cape Town, tells the following amusing
story of his initation into the ways of the
place:
"On my arrival at the Cape I did not
know of this custom. I wanted to pur
chase a horse, and I was informed by an
old dutch resident that widow—had
one - to sell. I followed the address given,
and soon arrived at the door of the widow
(who, by the way, was not bad looking).
I asked her wbether she had a horse to
sell. She looked at me very sharp, and
then she asked whether I had some let
ters of introduction. I said I was the
American consul, and would pay cash for
her horse.
_"ln this case." said she "let
ters are not necessary." I paid down the
sun? demanded; then, after taking a cup
of coffee, she sent her horse by her groom,
and both accompanied me home. On the
road the groom asked me a thousand
questions. "Master," said -he "will my
- mistrous go and live with you in . town,
or will you come and live with us P You
will love my mistress, for she was v,,ry
kind to my old master; (laughing).
"Where will the wedding be?" (look
ing at me and laughing). "Truly," I
thought, "the poor fellow has drank
.too
much, or he is an imbecile." I felt sorry
for him.
When. I arrived home I found many
people at my door congratulating the,
not for the horse, but for the acquaintance
of the widow. "Truly," said one, "you
have been very successful." "She is ve
ry rich," said another. I really did not
know what it meant, and began to be very
uneasy, when, to my very great surprise,
a lady alighted on my steps, and at once
I recognized the widow 1 She very cool
ly asked me when I desired to have the
ceremony of the wedding . performed.—
Then, indeed, I fully perceived the serape
in which I was, and I told her frankly
that' it was a horse I wanted and not a
wife. "What," said she, "do you mean
to act thus to a lady like me? If so, I
shall send" back for my horse,
and will
repay you the money." In a few hours
her groom was at my door with the mon
ey. I gladly gave back the horse, thank
ful to have thus escaped. A few weeks
after, however, the widow was married.
A more ambitious man had bought her
horse."
A day before the Modoc hanging the
chaplain was endeavoring to convert
Jack, and among other things told him
glowing stories of the happy land. His
remarks seemed to have an effect on the
Captain, who asked him if he knew all
about God and the happy land. The
chaplain said he thought he did. "Well."
said Jack, "you know all about him, me
give you tea horses you take my place
traorrow."
EDUCATION.
A MON LOW.
[The key to the poem is found by read
ing the lines alternately.] .
Happy he must pass his life, •
o-istree-frommatrim . wi:
' Whole directed by a wife
Is sure to suffer for his pains.
Adam could find no solid peace
When Eve was given for a mate;
Until he saw a woman's face
Adam was in a happy state.
Mall
In the 'feniale.r,,ace appear
Hypocrisy, deceit and pride ;
Truth, larling of a heart sincere,
In woman nevei:4loln!ide. l ...,
What tongue is Old tmfold -
The failings that, in women dwell?'
The worth in woman w6tiOhold
Is almost imperceptible. ; ..'
Confusion take the man, I say,
WhO makes a woman his delight;
" o-no-regard-to -women-pay,
has reason always in his Sight.
Marrying an Actress.
--In,-the- winter of- 1818-19 - it - putt - of
bright and lively young people had assem
bled to spend
‘ the period of Christmas fes
tivity'at a spacious old country home not
very far from 'Dublin. Several of theth,
adieu as well as gent emen, a. a yea y
acted creditably on the amatuer stage; so
"Vr" — .7l ou a arge • a as a •ea re,
and got up several standard comedies in
a manner that elicited hearty applause.—
Encouraged by this success, they
_thought
f S
they could master one of Sh ake .eare's
trag ces ' •
and Juliet. They succeeded in casting all
the characters except one, that of Juliet
herself. It was - offered to several young
ently refined, fearing to attempt so ardu
ous a part. In this dilemma some one
suggested an expedient. Miss O'Neill,
then in the zenith of her fame, was an ac
tress of unblemished reputation, mot% la•
dylike demeanor, and eminent talent,
whom I once saw as Juliet. She was.then
regarded, and justly I imagine as the
most perfect interpreter of Shaispeare's
embodiment of fervid cession and devo
tion in the daughter of Capulet that had
ever appeared on the London boards ; her
. singular beauty admirably seconding her
rare powers, and turning the heads of
half of the ishionable young men of the
day. She was universally respected, was
admitted to the best society, and several
times had assisted at private theatricals.
It so happened that she was then in
Dublin, and without an engagement. The
proposal s, to te to her and ask her,
on her own rinti: to come to them and
take the part of Juliet. This was agreed
to, and a letter dispatched accordingly.
The part of Romeo had been assigned
to a gentleman of family and fortune, Mr.
Becher, of Balleygibben, County Cork;
jeune encore, as the French say, for Ile
was still on the right side of forty, and ex
celling all of his companions in histrionic
talent. To him, as soon as the invitation
bad been given, eAtme,one of his moat in
timate friends. "Becher," said' he, "take
my advice, before it is too late. Throw
up the part of Romeo.. I dare say some
one else can be found to take it."
"Back out of the part ! And why,
pray ! Do you think my acting is not
worthy to support Miss O'Neill's ?"
"You act only too well, my good fellow
and identify yourself only too perfectly
with the characters you undertake. I
know Miss O'Neill well ; there can't be a
better girl, but she is dangerous. She is
perfectly bewiching in her great role. It
is notorious that no man ever plaed
Romeo to her Juliet without fal ling
in love with her. Now, rd be /arrow to
see you go on the stage for a wife."
"Marry an actress! and at my age! do
you take me for a fool?"
"Anything but that, Becher. . Ido
take you for a whole.souled, splendid fel
low, with a little touch of romance about
you ; impressible by beauty, and still
more alive to grace and talent, and I real
ly can't make up my mind to addre.s ev
en that glorious creature as 'Mrs. Bech
er.,
"Do talk sense, Tom. If I had not a
greed to play Romeo, rd go and offer to
take the part now, just to convince you
how ridiculous you are."
'•Well, all I hope is that the enchant
ress will decline."
But she accepted. Becher. played Ro-
Meo, shared the fate of his predecessors,
was engaged within a month, and mani
a few weelcs afterwards.
My father spent several days with them
at their countrreeat. —He was charmed
with Mrs. Becher, in whom, be said, he
could not detect the slightest trace of ac
tress. And the marriage my father told
us, seemed to have-been eminently fortu
nate, though up to that time they had no
children.
In the - sequel they had eight children -
Mr. Becher, eight years later, was crea
ed a baronet, lited thirty , years with his
wife, and was succeeded, in 1850. by their
son, Sir Henry Wrixen Becher, the pres
ent baronet. Lady Becherdied only last
winter, loved and mourned by friends and
dependents, having survived her husband
more than twenty years.=!,Robt. Dale O
wen, in Atlantic Monday.
Earnestness is the life blood of success.
Circulate it through your'enterprise there
fore, and it cannot become a failure. He
who works with heart sad soul devoted
to the task, overcomes the world's powers
and arrays heaven'sas his aid. An earn
est mind at complishes more than a bril
liant one, as the light of the sun illumines
gloriously, whereas the mere sparkle ofthe
finest diamond flashes, powerl es s to dispel
darkness.
The Wrong way of Doing It. ,
It not frequently happens that the
children of two families living near each
other brought up under the same social
a v: el •
differently.on arriving at maturity. The
family that seems to have had the most
careful training does less credit to itself
than the families whose childish freedom
Of action shocked the
.criticaLobserver.,_
We sat "seems to have had the•mostcare
ful training," for it is often only in seem
ing after all that difference has consisted.
As a rule it may be predicted of wise fam
ily governmentthat it will be known, as a
tree is, by its fruit. All government that
is only from the outside, and .therefore
despotic, fails necessarily of reaching its
end ; and.all government whose aim from
first to last is to teach its subjects self-con
trol must give them considerable lat:tude.
The latter sort, however, takes very much
more time and thought than the former,
and is incompatible with certain things
Which have come to be by many people
accepted ad cardinal points in family pol
icy. For instance, if father and_mot.her_
let out primarily with the idea that they
must save for their children, and so feel
ing, it they bend each year the strength
of their natures in a united effort to add
acres to the farm or increase the money
in the savings bank, they will spend all
their-force-there,The-father will work
hard,iate-and-early;aving - econo
mizing there, growing stoop-shouldered
'd-gra-Yrba-gaming - hisixatitalld - t • '
ing, complacently, of the amount of his
worth. The mother will,pinch, and con
trive, patch and darn, practicing a thou
kind small economies • that-nobody ever
sus . is and losin: even the memory of
the day w en s e was a .onnv, flithc= l
hearted girl whom her tired husband used
to come miles to see in courting days.—
The children who are the first in the loy
tir,-KOiceirlrearts that love t ,
they never have time to show it in any
sweet way, meanwhile grow up. Maria
wants to take music lessons, John wants
to go to college, but father and mother
think of the expenses, count up the dol
lars it will cost, and de&de that a com
mon'school education is good enough for
their children as it was for them. This
only sometimes, and seldom where the pa
rents are American, born to the idea that
the son may be President one day, and
that as we wrote in our copy-books, "Ed
ucation is the life of liberty. ' Oftener the
music lessons and the college course are
allowed, however, •and the economies dou
bled, while it is in countless little ways
that the love of the beautiful is staunted
and crushed, and the children made to
feel that of all unlovely, hard, prison-like
places, home is the most so. There is a
parlor, to be sure, grim and funerial as a
hearse, and is only used on solemn occa
sions, as at a christeuing,.a wedding or a
funeral. For Mary or Lucy to sit there
of an afternoon with their sewing, or 'for
Charlie and Sam so take a lamp there in
the evening to play checkers, would be an
unheard-of treason against the household
economy. , .
If there be a piano, and if it stands in'
the parlor, there is sure to be a strip of
stair carpet between it and the door, and
another strip of stair carpet in front of it,
least the necessary going to and fro of the
girls practice should wear out the splen
dors of the best three-ply or tapestry. The
children desire to take a paper or maga
zine as their neighbors do, but it costs S 3,
or $4 a year, and father shakes his bead.
There is to be a course of lectures in the
neighboring church by distinguished men
and women, and it would be pleasant to
go, but winter is coming and there is coal
to get, and flour will be wanted, and mo
ther says, "Better not mention the lecture
to your father."
Now when the choice is between :coal
and flour and music and lecture tickets,
and there is honestly not enough money
to afford all, why the latter must go.
Cut your coat by your cloth, of course.
But we are talking of. CMS where there
is enough money to afford asthetie and
intellectual enjoyment as well as food
and fire ; to afford books and papers other
than school-books, to put now and then
a picture on the wall and a flower in the
window, as well as to buy when,needed a
chair and a table.
Save for the children if yon can, and
im much as you can. but remember it is
spendthrift economy that does it by sa
ving from them. - The time when they
need a home full of grace and beauty is
in the forming period of life. There are
very few men, if they knew it, who can
afford not to have the visits in their fam
ily every week of a fresh, breezy, bright,
instructive paper ; and there is very few
who can afford not to let their children
have good times in the household while
childhood lasts. When the final interest
is apportioned it will be those who have
. spent most wisely who will have the -lar
gest dividends.
VICTORY OVER Sti.F..—Some.. and they
are not few, can remember , old Churchill
and his peculiar way. One .day he was
riding on horseback, _when he was met by
an old woman who had not, so many of
this world's good things as be had. Tak
ing out his wallet he' anded ber a quarter
and rode on. He bad-ridden only a short
instance when he began to soliloquize thus:
"Now wouldn't I have done. better to
have kept that money and bought myself
something?„
Wheeling Ms horse round, he rode back
to where the old lady was standing, and
said :
"Give me that money !"
She handed it to him wondering what
it meant.. Placing it in his wallet, and
at the same time handing her a Sve•dol
ler bill, be exclaimed:
"There, eel& I guess you'll wish you'd
kept still!" ,
Opinions of the Press.
, man who would cheat a printer
would steal a meeting-house and :rob a
churchyard. If he had , a soul, ten thou-
ave more room in
a mosquito's eye than a bullfrog in the
Pacific Ocean. ' He ought to be winked
at by blind people, and kicked to death
across logs by cripples.—Anii Arbor Wol
verine— _ ,
Amen ! Such a being would steal the
molasses out of a sick nigger's gingercake;
take from a drunken man's mouth his
last chew of tobacco ; walk at night thro'
the rain to deprive a blind sheep of its
fodder ; travel fifty miles on a fasting
Stomach to cheat a dying woman out of
her coffin, and steal wax out of a dead
dog's ears. Such a man ought to be tied
to a sheep's tail and butted to death.—
Ran Bag.
Exactly so, and that isn't all. He
would break a surveyor's level to get out
the alcohol, and his wife's watch for the
mock jewels ; bid against a widow at her
dead husband's auction, and steal the or
_phan's_shoe-strings-before daylight—Tem
peranae Banner.
Yes, thousands of such souls as that
man's would rattle in a mustard seed—
dance contra dances on the point of a
wasps sting—or march abreast through
the eye of a cambric needle. A solar rui
sroscope would fail to discover them, and
vhen - fr — 41 l the small.
'who_ rin - wd - they would not
eat cranny in creation.—PM.
•u t isn't all. Such-a-fel-Im,
would rob a lame goose's nest of the last
egg—steal a rat's tail from a blind kitten ;
for there is nothing low and mean that
-he-wouldn't do.--lle should-be-tied-up to
a broomstick and scolded to death by old
- maidsTand-then-his-bones should be made
into buttons to be worn on tim-hreeches-
of convicts.—Rising Sun Mirror.
That's a fact, and that ain't all. Such
undrel-would-iteaLthe-cla
his mother's bed on a cold night, and take
his father's coffin to ride down hill on.
A man like this ought to have the seven
year itch, and not be allowed to scratch.—
..Gazette.
All the above ought to be mere *pii
liminary sufferings—the "prologue to the
swelling act" of his final. doom. He
should be eventually consigned to a To
phet, where his perpetual punishment
would be—to read newspaper squibs per
petrated at his expense.—Sunday Tones.
HAPPY WOMAN.—"What are 'you
singing for?" said I to Mary Maloney.
"Oh, I don't know, ma'am, without it
is because my heart feels so happy."
"Happy, are you happy ? Why, let
me see, you don't own a foot of land in
the wide world."
"Font of land, is it ?" - she cried with
out a laugh. "Oh, what a hand ye are
after a joke. Why, sure, I've never a
penny, let alone a foot of land."
"Your mother is dead."
"God rest her sowl; yes," replied Mary
with a touch of genuine pathos. "The
Heavens be her bed."
"Your brother ie still a hard case, I
suppose
?"
"Ye may well say, that . It's nothing
but drink, drink, and bate his wife— poor
crayture."
"Then you have to pay your sister's
board?"
"Sure, the bit crayture, and she to a
good little girl, is Hinny, willin' to do
whatever I axes her. I don't grudge the
money that goes for that." • •
"And you haven't got any fashionable
dresses, either ?"
"Fash'nable, is it? Oh, yis, I put a
bit of whalebone in me skirt, and me cal
ioo gown spreads as big as the ladies'.--t
But then you say true; I have but two
gowns to me back, two shoes to me feet,
and not a bunnit, barin' me ould hood."
"You have'nt any lover ?"
"Oh, be &I" wid yez I catch Mary Ma
loney wid a lover these days, when the
hard times is come."
"What on earth have you to make you
happy . ? A drunken brother, a poor help
less sister, no mother, no lover—why
where do you get your happiness ?"
"The Lord be praised, miss, it pulsed
up in me. Give me a bit of sunshine, a
clean flure, plenty o' work and a sip at
the right time, and I'm made. That
makes me laugh and sing. And thin, if
troubles come, I try to keep me heart up.
Sure, it would be a sad thing if Petrick
Mcguire should take it in his head to az
me; but, the Lord willin', I'll try to bear
up under it."
"A CURIOUS PROPRECY.---"A. Posi
tivist," who, there is every reason to
suppose, was Andrew Jackson Davis, of
New ork, in November of last year
published in. the Modern Thinker the
following predictions, which to say the
least, were curious.
3. / predict that within the coming
two years this country will experience
the worst.financial panic known to histo
ry. It will be more Vide spread and
disastrous than even that of 1837. All
the debts created by our paper money era
will be wiped out or compromised. Land
will temporarily fall to one half its pres
ent value.
4. This panic wiU be precipitated iin
all probibility, by the 'failure of the Nor
theni Pacific Railroad, and perhaps of
the bankers who manage it. This will
bring to light such an amazing amount
of fraud in connection with our railroads,
as to discredit all stocks, good or bad.
The bears will hold high carnival. The
men of most repine in financial circles
and on the "streetnitill prove to be coin
mon cheats. 'Whi l le the panic will com
mence, from all'appearanevs in railroad
circles, and will Confined. vo the new
Western enterprises, it Will spreadfmally
to the National-banks, and will develop
an amount of rottenness in those institu
tions which is now beyond the power of
the imagination to conceive.
.., •
$2.0 0 PER YEAR
laiV :3 4243]
Writ and Sumer.
If a to
r and a
er, which would bedrun
"The strongest propensity in awetnan's
nature," says a surely editer, "is a desire
to know what is going on, and the_next_
is to boss the job."
Great sorrows bring lines in well-round
ed faces,and broaden the streaks of white
amonc , the hairs that once looked as iftbey
had been dipped in pure sunshine.
worthy Kentucky farmer being asked
if a daughter recently married was still
living with him, replied. "No, sir; when
any one of my girls swarms,she hunts her
own hive."
It was an Irish sailor who visite& a
city where, he said, they copper‘bottoined
the.roofs of their houses with sheet lead.
Perhaps it was the same man who saw a
_white black-bird-sitting on - a - wodea - Wit=
stone, eating a red blackberry,
The following epitaph may be red
backward or forward, up or down:
Shall we all die?
We shall die all.
All we
► mall we shall.
Ladies indelicate health should
0 0 .. .00000 0•6 IS rater
Golden city shows the wonderful restores
tive effects of climate.. She could net
even sweep her room when they liv_ed in .
Ohio, but in less than a year after har
arrval in the territory, she chased - ;her
, .1: , • II• : 1, , .. • •ithLa..--
pito .fork.
SECOND-HAND Puza—Our Teutonic
ritad;4o ‘ hanueo rtermhonyofour
drug stores, and thus addressed one of the
clerks :
"Toctor, I feel sig all ofer, and de beeh
les dells me I potter take one &sick."
"All right sir ,"says the clerk, "will you
have a dose of lilts, or some purgative ,
pills
"Vel, vot it east for dem snide?"
"Ten cents, sir."
"'lnd how much for dem finicking
pills r
"I'll give you a dosest the same price,"
After a vain search in his pocket for
the required sum, he asked :
"Toctor, you toad got some secondhand
bills, ain't it ?"
• An old fanner, np to all methods for
making a bargain, was very ill, and
friends were expecting an early demise.
His nephew, and a hired for the occasion,
butchered a steer that had been fattened ;
and when the job was completed the
nephew entered the sickroom, where
few friends were assembled, when, to the.
astonishment of all, the old 'man opened
his e,yes, and turning his bead slightly,
said, in a full' voice, drawling out the
words :
"What.bave yon been doing r
"Killing the steer," was the reply.
"What did you do with the hide?"
"Left it in the barn; going to sell it by
and by,"
"Let the boys drag it around the barn
a couple times ; it will make it weigh
heairier."
And the good old man was gathered
unto his fathers.
DON'T BE' TOO CRIEWAL.—WhatelreT
you do, be sure not to sit up for a critic.
We don't mean a 'newspaper one, but in
private lite, in the domestic circle, in so
ciety. It will not do any one any good,
apd it will do you harm—if you mind
being called disagreeable, If you don't
like any one's nose, or object to any one's
chin, don't put your feelings into words.
If oue's 'manners don't please, ,you, re
member your own. People are not all
made to-suit one taste; recolltct that.—
Take things as you find them, unless you
cantalter them.. Even a dinner, alter it
has been swallowed, cannot be made any
better. Continual faultfinding, continu
al criticism of the conduct of this one, and
the speech of that one,' the • &is' of the
other and the opinions of tliei'other, will
Make home the unhappiest place under
the sun. If you are never
b•e
with
any one, nO one will ever be pleased with,
you. And if it is known that you are
bard to suit, - few will take pains to suit
you. •
HARDSHIP.—AB a gladiator trains the
body, so must we train the mind so self
sacrifice, to endure all things, to meet and
overcome allZit - lenity and danger. We
must take the rough and thorny road, =as
well as,, the smooth and pleasant ;`and
a portion at least of our daily duty swat
he hard and disagaeeble ; for the mind
,cannot be kept stsong and healthful in
perpetual ,and the most .danmer 7
ous of all states in that of recurring pleas
ure, ease and prosperity. Most persons
will find difficulties and hardships enough
withoutseeking them; let them not rfinue,
but take them as a part of that education
nal discipline to .fit the Mind to arrive at
its highest good:
Beacher's manuscript notes for his ser
mons are remarkable - for their brevity;
being rarely more than mere hints, which:
his fersile mind ensly expandi to au inde ;
finite extent. Two specimens are "curios:
ities in there way. Neither contain more
than fifty words, while one of them:
was scrawled en the back of what had
been the scrapper of n parcel p .. with torn.
and ragged edges, yet its few .disconuect:
ed .and incomplete 'sentences.' %Vie
base:6f •an hour's discourse, acid one - of
the , finest ever preached . .in
ttuach.
rt of