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BY. W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 26.
( settti pottr..
THU OLD MIN IN TRH SHUSH CHURCH.
BY JOHN 11. PATES
Well, wife, I've been to church to-day--
been to a stylish one—
And' seeing you can't „go from home, I'll
tell you what,,was done;
You would have been surprised to see what
I saw there to-day;
'The sisters were fixed up so fine they hard
ly bowed to pray.
I had on these coarse clothes of mine, not
much the worse P3r wear,
But then they knew I wasn't, one they call
a millionaire ;
.So they led the old man to a seat away back
by the door ;
.'Twas bookles.s and uncushioned. a reserve
seat for the poor.
_Pretty soon in came •a stranger 'with gold
ring and clothing fine ;
They led him to a cushioned seat far in ad-
..I thought that wasn't .exactly right to seat
hint up so near,
:When he was young, and I was old and ve
ry bard to hear.
len there's no accountin' foe -what
_ some people do ;
The nnest.clothing now-a-days oft gets the
finest pew.
_But when -we reach the blessed home, all
undefiled by sin,
We'll see wealth begging at the gate, while
Poverty goes in.
couldn't hear the sermon, I sat so far a-
Way,
through the hours•of service, I could on
ly "Avutch and pray.;'
'Watch the dole's of the Christians sitting
noz.r me, round about;.
Pray that God would make them pure with
in as well as pure without.
While I sat there, looking all around vpou
the.rich and great,
I 'kept thinking of the rich man and the
beggar at his gate ;
How, by all but dogs forsaken, the poor beg
_gees form grew cold,
And the angels bore his spirit to the man
sions built of gold.
How, at last, the rich .man perished, and
his spirit took its flight
* From the purple and linen to the home of
endless night ;
There he learned, as he stood gazin' at the
beggar in the sky,
"It isn't all of life to live, ':nor all of death
to die."
I doubt not there were wealthy sires'in that
religions fold
Who vent up from their dwelling like the
Pharahee of old ;
Then _returned home from their worship,
with a head uiilifted high,
To spurn the hungry from their door with
naught to satigy.
• Out! out with such professions ; they're do
in'Anore to-dav
'To stop the weary sinner front the Gospel's
shinin' way
Than all the books of infidels; than all that
has been trisd
.Since Christ was hora.at Bethlehem—since
Christ was crucified.
how simple are the works , of God, and yet
how very grand ;
The shells in ocean caverns, the flowers on
the land ;
lie gilds the clouds of.evenin' with the gold
right from his throne, .
IsZot, the rich man only, not for the poor
Then why should man look down on man
•because of lack of gold?
ll'hy seat him in the poorest pew because
his clothes are old ?
A heart with noble motives—a heart that
God has blest—
May be beathe ,heaven's music 'neath that
.faded coat and rest.
I'm old—l may be childish—but I love sim
plicity,
I love to see ,it shinin' in a Christian's pie-
Josue; told us in his sermon in Judea's moun
tain wild ; ;
He that wants to go to Heaven must be like
a little child.
, Our heads are growin' gray, dear wife ; our
hearts beatin' slow ;
In a little while the Master will call for us
to go.
When we reach the pearly gateways, and
look in with joyful eyes,
We'll see no stylish worship in the .temple
of the skies.
Never put no confidence in those who
put no confidence in others.—A man prone
to suspect evil is mostly looking in his
neighbor for what he sees in himself. As
to the pure all things ars pure, even so to
the impure all things are impure.
God renders earth desolate to induce
you to seek a better country. He strikes
away every human prop and puts failure
and vexation into every worldly scheme,
that you ►uiiy turn from your idols unto
fflisteliaueen geading.
A NARROW ESCAPE.
BY 3. PARISH STEELE.
In the summer of 1864 business took
me to Savanab, Tennessee, eight miles
from the grounds upon which was fought
the celebrated battle of Pittsburg Land
ing.. I had never visited the site of the
battle, and knowing I would not be likely
to find myself so near it again, I thought
it best not to suffer so favorable an
,oppor
lanky to pass unimproved. In other words,
I hired a mule ana started for a saddle
ride to Pittsburg, not, however, until mine
host had warned me that my road was
not altogether a safe one for a stranger;
that I would do well to keep constantly
on my guard ; that several most revolting
and mysterious murders had been commit
ted of late, and so on.
A short distance from Savannah, and
the road became a truly dismal one, lead
ing„through the thickly wooded and thiCk
ly caned bottoms of Tennessee river. It
struck me at once that In all, my travels
I had never before fallen upon a region
so gloomy, or one so admirably adapted
to the perpetration of dark deeds. I
could not help feeling uncomfortable, tho'
I do not think it grew out of anything
the la.u.dlord had said at the time of start
ill a. I had been lona. used to hearin: all
sorts ,of frightful stories—ha een urge
to "keep au eye peeled" many a time
and nothing had yet come of 'any of it
far-as it-concerned-myself',untiriwas - ful
ly hardened to the understanding tha
uothiljg ever would. Besides ou this oc
• slot) I had as yetdiso c • rroun• -
for ameasiness_Thefe_seemed to be n•
one stirring save myself, the road was en
tirely 'deserted, and the woods, too, fo
aught I could learn to the contrary, fo
there wasnet - a sound - of - any - kind-liyint,
upon the motionless air of the morning •
not oven the song of a bird or the chip of
an insect. The spirit of sadness and swee
silence prevailed to perfection.
I rode on through this dismal country
until within about four miles of Pittsburg
Landing, when! overtook a lady walking
slowly • long The road. She was neatly
dressed in a grey travailg habit, and in
her hand she carried a mural valise. On
coming up with her I saw that she was
young and exceedingly beautiful, though
her face seemed to wear a somewhat troub
led expression ; in fact, it was evident sIR
had just been weeping.
"Excuse me," she said, as I was about
to pass on, "are you going to Pittsburg?"
1 told her that I was.
"Then," she continued, "if it is not ask
ing too much, won't you be so kind as to
slacken the pace of your animal so as to
bear me company until I am through this
thick wood ? I am truly sorry to trouble
yen, hut just ahead'of us is where those
murders were committed, and it does seem
that' I cannot pass the place alone !" •
Of course I slackened pace. lam not
one of your cold, ungallant kind of men,
so I did even more—l dismounted and af
ter apologizing for offering a man's saddle,
insisted that the fair stranger . take my
place upon the mule. This she very po
litely declined to do, giving as a reason
that she hail never rode horseback in her
life ; so we walked on together side by side,
1 ciirryieg my valise and leading my Mule.
In a very short time we were well ac
quainted. The troubled expression quitt
ed ler truly beautiful face, an intellectu
al light lit up her expressive eyes, and she
threw oft all undue reserve, becoming at
once the must brilliant and most interest
ing traveling companion I had ever be
fore encountered. She lived at Iladueat,
in Kentucky, she said, and was the daugh
ter of a merchant there with whom I had
some slight acquaintance. An uncle liv
ed.at Pittsburg Landing, and she was on
a .visit to his family. Steamers could not
laud at, Pittsburg in summer, when the
river was at a low stage, consequently she
had been put off at Crump's. Her friends
ht Pittsburg had not been advised of her
coming, and there was no conveyance to
be had at Crump's, hence her only chance
of getting through lay in her ability to
walk a distance of about•six
It was all reasonable enough, and I be
lieved every word of it without the slight
est hesitation. You know that I express
ed my sympathy, and you may guess that
I followed it up with a shower of small
talk about the' worst wind invariably blow
ing good to somebody, and about my
thauks being due to the river for getting
low„ and to Crump's for having no means
of furnishing folks with conveyance. You
may also guess that she rallied me for be
ing a selfish mortal, smiliws 's pleasantly
the while; but whether you do or not, I
can assure you we got along,charmingly.
At length I noticed that. her step was
less elastic than when we first met, and
thereupon remarked that she was doubt
less fatigued, suggesting at the same time
the propriety of her resting for a few min
utes upon the trunk of a fallen tree that
lay at the edge of the road.
"A am getting rather tired," she said,
"but Pru afraid to stop in such a place as
this; there are bad people in the neigh
borhood, and one cannot tell at what mo
ment they may be passing the road. A
very brief delay might cost us much more
than we are calculating upon, so I think
it stands us in hand to get on as fast us
possible; I believe I shall be able to hold
out util we are beyond the wood, for it
cannot reach a great distance further."
I tried to argue that there was hardly
a foundation for her fears, but it was words
thrown away, and we moved on.
From this time her strength began to
fail rapidly, until it was soon evidentthat
she must give way entirely. Under this
conviction I renewed my proposition to
stop by the roadside; but she still insisted
that it was too hazardous to be thought of
for a moment.
VAW r 1 4' ► MY ;_Z TIME, LOOM., AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC.
"But," said she, •afters momentary
pause, "I will tell you whit you 'tan do
it you have no objection ; wocan turn out
into the wood, a short distance from the
road, and rest in Perfect 'Securi ty as long
as we like;' ; . . •
This was said with a cunning little toss
of the bead and an angelic smile that went
through me like a ray from% rainbow,
all of which I liked very well—being a
romantic kind,of individual—and when
I looked her straight in the face prepara
tory to a reply, I fancied that I detected
a slight blush and 'asmiling expre s sion of
the eyes, yet—being a romantic individu
al—even that was disagreeable.
Suffice it to say we quitted the road and
worked our way out; through the thick
wood and matted cane some two hundred
paces, herhaps, When she gave it as hero
pinion that we ware far enough to be safe,
and took a seat upon a log a few feet from
her, and we renewed the conversation that
had been partially broken oft- on turning
from the road.
Pretty soon . she suggested the propriety
of sitting nearer together to obviate the
- necessity - orloudTilking, and lesson the
chances of surprise. I endorsed it at Once,,
and was soon oy her side, and ere long, to
my astonishment, I discovered that she
was leaning against me with a degree of
force that could not possibly be acciden
tal. I returned the gentle pressure, as
may be supposed, and she glorified me
vitit--sneb--bewildering if : 4
ny silky expressions, that I could not
help rejoicing over the fact that I had liv
ed up to that day ; and I am not sure but
I felt .a tender place forming in the cor
ner of my heart for the outlaws whose re
volting acts in the region round about
Pittsburg-lia-d-4.lriven-suC.h_agel to
- take - shelter - under - my wing.----Had they
been brought to 'trial just then, it is not
at all probable that I. would have made a
competent juror to sit on the case.
The leaning against me gradually - in- -
creased in power, and I gradually grew
more and more at home, until finally I
was emboldened to venture slipping my
arm around her waist. Too late I learn
ed it was a very imprudent venture.—
With the quickness of thought her whole
manner underwent a change, and spring
ing to her feet and from me as if I had
been an adder, she called out in a shrill
voice whirl actually petrified me with as
tonishinent,—
' "Help-1 help! Is there no one near to
its i
save a . , efenceless woman from a treach
erous nlian ?" '
13efore I had fairly began to collect my
scattered senses, there was a rustling a
mong the canes near by, and two men
came bounding forth; showering curses
upon the scoundrel who would thus insult
a helpless lady. I think they had weap
ons in their hands. I should soon have
known, perhaps, but for the fact that there
was a second rustling through the canes,
and a second bounding forth from differ
ent directions of at least twenty well-arm
ed men. A short. tussel, mixed in with
the sharp clicking as of steel springs,,fol
lowed, and in less time than it takes me
tell it, the two men first mentioned, to
gether with my adorable ,charmer, were
in irons, and ready to march to the near
est county jail..
It is hardly necessary to say more. I
had been successfully 'decoyed into the
very trap which, the landlord at Savan
nah had warned me to be on my guard,
and but for the lucky circumstance that
a posse of citizens having got trace of the
outlaws had concealed themselves among
the thick cane to watch their movements,
I should doubtless soon have paid the
penalty that others had lately paid before
me. • I may add in conclusion, however,
that the parties arrested•were strangers in
that locality; that they were convicted
and dealt with according to law, and that
no one has since been molested near Pitts
burg Lauding.
There is nothing more likely to result
in the successful career of a young man
than confident' self-reliance. .It is aston
ishing how much more a youth will accom
plish who relies upon himself, than one
who depends upon others for assistance,—
Having first ascertained the direction in,
and the means by which his object is to
be reached, let him put his whole energies
to work, and with unflagging industry
press forward. The young man who, in
stead of rising at five, sleeps till seven or
eight, and who spends his evenings on the
corners, or in the companionship of those
who are wanting in laudable ambition,
rarely ever wins a position of honor or a
chieves a reputation above that enjoyed
by the common masses.
In a country like ours, where the ave
nues to honor and wealth are open alike
to all, there is no reasonable excuse that
can be offered for a .man's failure to a
chieve one or the other, or both. Ill
health, or extraordinary misfortune may
keep him down, but these are the excep
tions that establish the rule.
Few men know of how much they are
capable until they have first thoroughly
tested their abilities. The amount of la
bor, literary or mechanical, which a per
son in vigorous health can perform, is al
most without limit if a systematic method
is adopted and the proper spirit incited to
the effort. An hour of each evening spent
with some good author, or in the study of
some branch of useful science, will in the
course of a few yoars,give to a . young man
who thus devotes this small portion of his
time an amount of information, 'literary
or scientific, which cannot fail to fit him
for positions to which he could never prop
erly aspire without this attention to study.
Baile;, the Danbury News man, is
sometimes wise, as well as witty. When
asked by a correspondent, "where are
Iparts unknown," he very truthfully repli
ed, "where they don't advertise."
SIKM) i-- rR - ,Mi.MNUOUNT - "Yi4!A , -f-THITRSIIAT,OCTO-RE1L%_1.873
Self-Reliance.
.For the Villageatecord
SUNDAY AMONG TIM MOUNTAINS,
BY J. HAREM BARNES.
Sunday morning dawneth on me,
Far from all the haunts of men;
On San path to sky-top leading
Through the laurel-covered glen,
Where I sit alone and listen,
Hidden from human ken.
Listen to the pine trees chanting
From the crags that pierce the sky;
To the glad and quiet music
That the breezes carry by, •
From the rock encircled prison
Where the rippling waters lie.
'Tie no surpliced choir tliat•singeth,
'Tis no pealing organ rings,
Yet thb song of praise ascendeth
From all green and growing things,
And the rustling of theii leaflets
_ Is as that of unseen wings.
Here is no discolored daylight
, Painted windows streaming through,
But the perfect light of heaven,
• Clear as crystal and as true •
Floods of sunshine, glorious, golden;
Skies of deep and earnest blue.
Stretching ever onward, upward
From, the mill-dam's further brim?
Fading into distance dim,
Singing their song of silence,
Their own perpetual hymn
Where the rocks, ah, who can fathom
All the terror they inspire ! '
Iro_se=npbeaved T dissorted-a3asses
Scared and blackened as by fire,
Telling of some fierce 'convulsion, •
Chaos and confusion dire.
Now they serve for the foundations
Of a temple great, and grand;
They who list may read the sermon
Written upon either hand,
May learn something from their voices
That go out to every land.
Come up hither, all whose burden
Greater grows than ye can bear;
Come up hither to this temple
So remote from pain and care.
And join with me in the worship
That is ever sounding there.
31.10 N-r ALTO, August 22, 18.73.
[COMMUNICATED.
REAL ESTATE IN COURT.
• It would suit our case remarkably well,
if we had a picture to place at the head
of our article used in the Lancaster Al•
manac a few years ago, representing the
end of the lawsuit.
In the foreground stands a cow ; two
men, the one having torn off the horns,
and the other the tail, are in the act of
falling while two lawyers, one on each
side, are busily engaged in milking. In
the distance on an old dead tree are a
number of buzzards sitting with hats on,
taking notice how the affair is going to
end.
About three fourths of a mile below
Quincy, Franklin county, Pa., is situated
a small property of real estate with an
old log house and log barn. Some fifty
or more years ago, the property of Abrm.
Ely, and after his death owned by his two
daughters, Elizabeth and Catharine.—
both died without children.
Within the last few years, more ques
tions have been asked concerning this es
tate, than any one man cares to answer,
and perhaps more than 'any dozen of men
would have been able to dispose of with
intelligent replies. .
Elizabeth Ely married
. Abraham Bur
ger about the year 183(J, and her sister
married a few years later. Sometime af
terwards au agreement was entered into
to divide the estate. , Elizabeth took the
old home with some twenty-four acres of
land, and Catharine a tract of land some
two miles distant and in addition it seems
quite-a handsome sum of money. This ar
rangement having been completed, it was
now understood that the estate had been
equally divided, and that each party held
the control of their own property.
Thus far it does not appear that any
difficulties had arisen between Elizabeth
and Catharine Ely. The trouble about
the real estate, and the cause by which it
was thrown into court was brought about
by the movements of the gentlemen board
ers.
Elizabeth 'Ely and her husband not
having had any children, it appears made
wills at different times within, a space of
twenty. years.. But as it happened that
he ultimately became the 'survivor of the
two, he ventured to make a last will un
der his own hand ; and in this will it ap
pears a flaw is found, which the lawyers
could get bold at with their chisels and
crowbars, and the result was, the case was
carried into court.
Poor lawyers, poor gentlemen boarders ;
they want money, they need money no
doubt. But then this is to be understood ;
the representatives of 'Elizabeth Ely, they
want money too ; they need money, and
some of them are pour ; and they can't
see why it is, that they should get nothing
at all, when they know it was intended
that they should have three eighths of the
whole estate of Abraham Burger and E
lizabeth Ely. Three eighths to go to the
representatives of Abraham Burger ; one
eighth to the Christian Church, and one
eighth io keep other peoples children from
getting cross, and from crying.
What say you lawyers and real estate
agents. The interest of the representatives
of Mrs. Burger are for sale; what will you
give. One thousand dollars, nine hun
dred, eight, seven ; or is there any one that
will give six. The cow is one of value,
and ought to be worth three thousand
dollars or over. Where's - and
where's - they, ought to be judges
of the quality of the butter. Or how is
the case in Court, when it is known that
individuals made wills, and after their de
cease certain parties destroy a will, make
another one in the place, to gain the con
trol of the property while they live.
Upon a certain occasion the writer stop
ped in at the residence of Abraham Bur
ger, and took a seat on the porch. No
account was kept of the precise -time,-but
it is supposed to have been in the month
of May, 1856 some four or six weeks be
fore Mr. Burger died, Ile was alout the
house and stayed part of his time on the
porch.
Presently, Dr. Oellig of Waynesboro',
came walking in, and I judged he had
been sent for. Some little time was con
sumed in conversation, but suon Mr. Bur
ger said to Mr. Oellig, he should come in.
Mr. Oellig replied, it was not necessary,
it was quite pleasant out here. Mr. Bur
ger however walked in. After he bad
gone into the room, Mr. Oellig said to me;
"I know what is the matter with him;
the membrane around his heart is contrac
ting, and if it keeps on, he will get as era.
zy as a bed bug." Mr. Burger died on
the 14th of June, 1856.
While Mr, and Mrs. Burger were yet
both living, I one day, stopped in, and•
found Mr. Burger at home. Presently he
called me over into the room, where Mrs.
Burger was sitting. e sen s • •triii
her presence, that they bad made a will
and added, that they intended I should
look after their affairs after they were
gone. He did not make use of these' words,
but that was about what the language
amounted to. _I _did_not_wish to be
inquisitive and-asktd-no-questionsw—l
concluded however I knew very well by
what cause they were led to make a will
at the time 1 1Ir• Barger was quite un
-we , was made
and the impression was made on my
mind that fears were entertained that
perhaps his days would soon be number-.
ed, and Mrs. Burger would be the survi
vor. Hence I was led to judge that a will
was made to arrange matters in such a
way that no difficulties Might arise thro'
any of the heirs after Mr. Burger's de
cease.
Of the precise time the conversation
was had I have no account. I suppose
however it was about a year before Mrs.
Burger died ; it might have been more,
but I am inclined to think it was less,;—
possibly some ten months before. Time
passed on, Mr. Burger did not get any
worse, but to all appearances regained a
bout his usual health. Some time after
wards Mrs. Burger's health began to fail,
she lingered for some months and died on
the Ist of December, 1855 A short time
before her death, I was called in by Mr.
Burger, to the bedside of Mrs. Burger ;
she was then so far gone that to all ap
pearances, there were no hopes of recov
ery. He stated, the object of having me
called in was to have me witness a paper
which Mrs. Burger was going to sign . . The
language made use of seemed to signify,
that he was afraid that after Mrs. Burger
was gone, her heirs might make trouble
about the property she possessed before
he had come on the premises.
It it quite certain that Mr. and Mrs.
Burger,.. a year or two before they died,
had agreed upou the manner upon which
their property should be disposed of after
their decease. From all that was brought
under my observations during the remain
der of their days, nothing occurred, from'
which it would be reasonable to suppose
that their minds to any considerable ex
tent had undergone any change. Now.
gentlemen of the jury, a few more words
and the argument on this side of the case
shall be closed. It is believed that your
verdict ought to be, that the court appoint
some honest disinterested man, possessing
the proper business qualification to'be ad- .
ministrator of the estate; and that the
said administrator be instructed to settle
up the estate according law, equity and
justice. 0. S.
OCTOBER, 2ND, 1873.
SUSPENDED.—The recent financial pan
ic has given rise to many little aune cdotes
and "little stories," and classed with the
laiter, as an illustration of tle manner in
which the innumerable small shavers and
skinners take atvantage of the circumstan
ces and shut up shop, although their re
lations with the suspending firms are as
remote as the evolutions of the tumble bug
from the circuit Of the planets.
During the panic of 1857, a. large num=
her of persons in Philadelphia had their
boots blackened by au old negro, at his
cellar oa Spruce street, who delivered his
work promptly every morning at the doors
of their hotels and hoarding houses, radi
ant with the brightest of French polish.
One unhappy morning, these people got
up and found no boots at their doors.
After a proper amount of blasphemy,
equipped in old shoes and odd slippers,
they set out for sambo's shop. On reach
ing it they discovered a playcard on the
cellar door bearing the inscription, quite familiar on the bank doors on that day—
"SUSPENDED." After many thunderous
kicks, Sambo at length opened his portal.
"Where are my boots, you black scoun
drel ?" Maid one. "Hand over my shoes,
you son of charcoal," said another. The
knight of the brush, with a smile worthy '
of a defaulting artist of Wall street, calm
ly handed over one boot and one shoe,
with the remark : "Gemmen, dis house
has suspended, but we pays fifty per
cent."
An Indians' farmer bas 1,000 dove&
About as many widetwa as invalid sol
diers redeye pensions.
A Gibson, Ind., tea kettle first sang
250 years ago.
How to be Handsome.
Most people would like to be handsome.
Nobody denies the great power which any
person may have who has a good face
and attracts you by good looks, even be
fore a word has been spoken. And we
see all sorts of de vict s in men and Women
to improve their good looks—paints and
washes, and all kinds of cosmetic, includ
ing a plentiful annointing with dirty hair
oil.
Now all cannot have good features.—
They are - as - God - nra - de - thenr; bat almost
any one can look well, especially with
good health. It is hard to give rules in
a very short space, but in brief these will
do :
Keep clean—wash freely and univer
sally with warm water. All the skin
wants is leave - to - act - free -- and - it - will take
care of itself. Its thousands of air holes
must not be closed.
Eat regularly and sleep enuugh.—The
stomach can no more work all the time,
night and day than a horse ; it must have
regular sleep.
Good teeth are a 'great help to good
looks. Brush them with a soft bruih,
especially at night. Go to bed with teeth
clean. Of course, to have white teeth,
is needful to let tobacco alone. Every
woman knows that. And any powder or
wash for the teeth should be simple.
Acids may whiten the teeth, but they
take off the enamel and injure them.
Sleep in a cool room, in pure air.—
No one can have a clear skin who
es bad air.
When the mind is awake, the dull
sleepy look passes away from the eyes. I
do not know that the brain expands, but
it seems to. Think, read—uot' trashy
novels,-but-books-that_have_something_in_
t lent. a icifith people A-skim-sonie
thing ; hear lectures and learn by
them.
SOLVING A-DIFFICULTY.-A grandson
of the Governor of Virginia, a child of
some four or five summers, was on a visit
to his maternal grandfather, who is a
wealthy landlord in Ohio. One day, after
making his visit to Sabbath school, and
being duly impressed with the religious
lessons taught there, he took his grand•
father down on the farm to show and
gather the fruit of a large walnut tree,
which was ripe and ready for the harvest.
On the way the little fellow, with the
philosophy which "reads sermons in
stones," said :
"Granpa," who do all these woods and
fields belong to ?"
"Why," said the matter of fact gentle
man, "to me."
"No, sir," emphatically responded the
child ; "they belong to God."
The grandfather said nothing till they
reached the richly laden tree, when he
said :
"Well, my boy, wheme does this tree
belong to 7"
This was a poser, and for a moment
the boy hesitated ; but casting a longing
look upon the nuts, he replied:
"We'll, grandfather, the tree belongs to
God, but the walnuts are ours."
WHAT IS THINE AGE I—" Father,"
said a Persian monarch to an old man,
who, according to Oriental usage, bowed
before the sovereign's throne, "pray be
seated ; I cannot receive homage from
one bent with years, whose head is white
with the frost of age."
"And now, father," said the monarch,
when the old man had taken the profered
seat, " tell me thine .age; how many of
the sun's revolutions bast thou counted ?"
"Sir," answered the old man ,"I am
but four years."
"What i ' interrupted the king, "fearest
thou not to answer me falsely, or cost
thtu jest on the very brink of the tomb ?"
"I speak not falsely, sire," replied the
aged man. "Neither would I offer a
foolish jest on a subject so s,olemn.—Eigh
ty long years have I wasted in fblly and
sinful vicasures and in amasing wealth,
none of which I can take with me when I
leave this world.—Four years only have
I spent in doing good to my fellow-men;
and shall I count those years that have
been utterly wasted ? Are they not worse
than a blank, and is not that portion only
worthy to be reconed as a part of my life
which has answered life's nest end ?"
TEE AUTUMN OF LIFE.-It is the sol
emn thought connected with middle life,
that life's last business is begun in earn
est, and it is then, midway between the
cradle and the grave, that a man begins
to marvel that he let the days of youth
go by so half enjoyed. It is the pensive
autumn feeling, it is the sensation of half
sadness that we experience when the long
est day of the year is past, and every day
that follows is shorter, and the light faint
er, and the feebler shadows tell that Na
ture is hastening with gigantic footsteps
to her winter grave. So does man look
back upon his youth. When the first
gray hairs become visible, when the un
welcome truth fastens itself upon the mind
that a man is' no longer going up hill, but
down, and that the sun is always wester
ing, he looks back on things behind.—
When we were children we thought as
children. But now there lies hefwe us
manhood with its earnest work, and then
old age, and then the grave, and then
home. There is a second youth for man,
better and holier than his first, if he will
look on, and not look back.—F. W Rob
ertson.
You might as reasonably expect to fin;`
a hole in water after taking your finger
out, as to expect to be missed after you
are dead.
Thought means life, since those who do
not live in any high or real sense. Think
ing men makes the man.
$2 l OO PER ! YEAR
Ulit and 31nmor.
How to make in Indian loaf—give Lim
a gallon of whiskey.
The most thrilling tale is that of the
rattlesnake.
Fifty young widows reside in the small
town of Centreville, Ind., and it is unsafe
for an unprotected man to pass through
there.
' A young man wearing an Alaska dia
mond pin can `go home" with any girl
in Dubuque from prayer meeting without
an introduction.
It is related that an Irishman once vis
ited New Hampshire, and after having
inspected the numerous hills and moun
tain'ranges, exclaimed : "Bedad ! I liver
was in a. country before. where they had
so much land that they had to stack it."
An old lady, hearing some one reading
about. a Congressman-at large, rushed to
the kitchen doer, shouting Sarah 'Jane,
Sarah Jane! don't you leave the ohnlie3
out all night, mind I tell yuu ; for there's
a Congressman at larger
piv its ( tl
OVA i exchange says. "Worcester, Mas
zachusetts, pa t of a woman stop
ping in that city, yet thirty years &A:
who is the mother . thirteen children.",
W.:11 we should t , b - t, about time she
vim stopping som
A professor, hr explaining to a class of
young ladies the entire theory, according
to -which the body is• renewed every , seven
years, said : "Tbus, Miss 8.,• in seven
ears_vou_willin_reality be no longer Miss
:7" --4- E - rea - Hy - lrope-1-slrateo-flemurely
respondSd the girl, tasting dawn her e} es
Two Titusville lawyers have entered
into solemn compact not to drink intoxi
cating liquors, except when out' duck
shooting,* a year under a forfeit of $lOO.
One, of themkeeps a duck in his back,
yard and shoots at it every time he is
thirsty. His fellow ,cnntestant has just`'
bought a duckl,oo. • '
A newsboy in frOntof alkofilee,lhe oth- 1
er 'day, being rebuked 'by a.man forthak
ing "so much noise,'" looked at,liim a mto
ment, and then in a2commiserating tone
said :
"I say, sir, don't yoUr face ache?"
"No," replied the man why do you
ask ?"
"'Cause it looks so mortal homely I
thought" it hurt you r yelled the little
imp, as he dashed away and left the man
to be laughed at by the crowd.
gums WrrrEn.—The proverbial quick
ness of Irish wit ie illustrated by an •
onnecdote related by Captain A.—Whilst
on -the Peninsula, during the war,. he
came across a private belonging to one
of the most predatory companies of the
Irish brigades, with thelifeless bodies of
a goose and hen, tied together by the feet,
dangling from his musket. "Where did
you steal those, you rascal 2" he deman
ded. "Faith, I was marching wid Colur
Sergeant Maguire, and the goose—bad
'cess to it!—came out and hissed the
American flag." "But the hen sir, how
about the hen ?" "It's the hiu, is it ? The
hitt, bless ye, was in bad company, and
laying eggs for the rebels."
A LAYMAN'S GRACE.-A 'young. mar
ried friend tells a good joke on himself
perpetrated by a little three year old
"pride of the family." She is the only
pledge of love that has twines itself at ouud
the hearts and affections of himself and
wife. A few evenings since's minister
visited the family and remained until af
ter tea. At the table the reverend visitor
asked the blessing, and the little one
opened her eyes to the fullest cspacity in
startled wonderment. She could not un
derstand what had been done, and it was
with great persuasion that her mother
could keep her quiet during the time they
were at the table. When they left it she
walked up to the minister, for whome she
had formed a great friendship, and said ;
"What did you say at the table before
commenced eating ?"
'My little darling, I thanked God for
his goodness in giving us to eat, so that
we might grow and be strong."
"Papa don't say that."
"What does your papa say ?" ••']'
"Papa says ‘Godlemiglity what a sup
per.' "—Lowell Courier. ,
The best talents in the World must be
known iu order to be patrdnized. Man is
the child of opportunity—circumstances•
either makes or mars him—but he may.;
sometimes make circumstances. Sonic
years ago a young lawyer of fine' talents,'
and deep learning, and graceful and pow
erful orator withal, settled iu 4ne of the
western villages. He took nit letters of
introduction, and knew nobody. iki - V wait
ed in vain fir clients, his abilitial'iveria ,
unknown, and, of course unappreelitted.—
At length he devised a plan lir briagin;.-;
himself into notice. He took a rattan,
walked over the way to qr. Smith's store,
and without saying a word astonished the
unoffending Mr. S. with a terrible flog
ging. A prosecution ibllowed, our young
lawyer made a splendid speech, showed
what he was, was tined an hundred dol
lars, and was itantediately retained in
three suits of importance. He has since
made a large ibrtuno by his profession.
The customers of a certain cooper eau.•
ed him a vast deal of vexation by their
saNi.tg habits and persistence in getting
all their tubs and casks repaired, buying
bat very little work. "I stood it long e
nough, however," said he, "until old Sam
Crabtree brought:me in an old hung to -
which he,wanted`a new barrel made. Thew
I quit ihe businesi in disgust."
. .
Patio DI 111,1