The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, July 24, 1873, Image 1

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    BY W. BLAIR.
VOLUME 26.
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FOND
On fancy's wild pinions fond memory now
wanders
Back - to thehappyithe loved scenes of
Zack, to 'the days 'when hope's sun was the
lirightest,
Back to the joysef my childhood once more.
I stand once again where the swift ,roping
•
waters
In the fast•deopening twilight sweep .on to
!the sea;
'The lone night•bird calls to its inatein,the
- And the answer:zings back from the , old
• linden-tree.
Again, as of 01d.2 rove the broad meadow;
And wander Alone in the i eve halm and
still, •
Where the dew-drooping • willows, their
branches:low-bending,
Softly kiss the bright face of the . murmur
ing rill.
But, ah! as I •stand in , the darkness and si
lence,
,A star glimmers out from the halls of the
blest;
From the mansions of light, where' glory
• .
And day ever shin6s on the pilgrim at rest
Now fancy has.leftme,thebright dream has
vanished,
And I wake to the scenei am:: manhood
once more;
The loved ones and lost now are waiting my
coming,
To welcome my ;barque on that dim, dis
tant shore.
But to-night, as .1-muse* on the past and the
16
present,
While thickens and deepens the gather-,
ihg gloom,
I weep as I think of the dearones departed,
Ever hid from my sight in the cold, silent
tomb.
ailistellauemis
Published by Rdquest.
RECEPTION OF A CONVERT.
On la,t Sunday morning, July . 6th
Rey. EDWARD 0. FORNEY, a graduate of
Franklin Marshall College and also of
the Theological Seminary of the_ (German)
Reformed Church, and, until a short time
Kevious, minister of the Reformed Con
gregation at Norristown; Pa., was receiv
ed into the loving arms of our holy Moth
er, the-Church. ..Mr. POMMY, theologi
-eally,lud belonged to the so-called IVler
cersburg school of thought, and was train
ed upiutellectually and theologically un
der the inliusnce of ,Dr.'s J. W. NEVIN,
HARBAtrOff, GERUARL HIGBEE', an d
*TuoluAs G. APPLE; and by these Protes
tant Theological Doctors, the first seeds
of Catholic truth —so far as our knowledge
extends—were implanted in his mind.—
He was regarded by the members of the
sect, which he has abandoned, as a young
man of more than ordinary ability and
promise. He was confesserhy the most
talented and eloquent Protestant preacher
in Norristown. The congregation to which
he preached was one which required the
highest order of intellectual ability to sat
isfy the demands of its members—his three
predecessors, whose ministry covered a
period of twenty years (more or less),
haying been gentlemen of much more than
ordinary talent and culture.
His immediate predecessor was the Rev.
Dr. GANS, now of Baltimore, who previ
ously was elected to the professorship of
Greek and Exegetical Theology of the
Seminary of tho Reformed Church—Et po
sition which he declined accepting. The
minister preceding Dr. GANS was Rev. P.
S. DAvls, now in Chambersburg, Pa., a
bemitiful writer and eloquent speaker;
and preceding him was J. S. ERDIEN-
TrtouT, Esq., now a convert to the Catho
lic Church, whose scholarly acquirements
stud intellectual gifts, combined with rare
modesty. are known to many in this Dio
cese. It is not savinc , too much fbr Mr.
Toustv that he filled' the pulpit former
ly occupied by these gentlemen, with en:
tire satisfaction to the members of the
con g,reg,ati on . A few months ago he was
elected Secretary of the Classic (a term e
quivalent to "Conference" as used by the
Methodists) of which he was a member;
and about ten days ago ho was elected by
the Alumni of Franklin—Marshal Col
lege to deliver the Alumni oration at their
annual meeting—an honor usually con
ferred on the older graduates of tale Col
lege. •
Mr. Fortxra , has had the subjects in
volved in the conflict between Catholicity
and Protestantism under consideration for
several Years, but only lately received the
elft of 'divine faith. When he became
conscious of a clear and -definite convic
tion. he at once gave up his congregation,
and left Norristown with a view to free
ing himself from the distractions to which
he would necessarily have been there sub
ject, and visited Churchville, Berks coun
ty, Pa., for the purpose of making a re
treat in that secluded and quiet spot, un
der the direction of the VenerablemFather
AUGUSTIN BALLY, S. J. After the coo
elusion of his retrea', on Sundapomorning
last, Mr. Pommy made his abjuration of
Protestantism, and his solemn profession
of the true faith. He was bantised (sub
conditionc) by- Father B.s.i.tv, S. :T., as
sisted by Rev. JOAN P. M. SCHLEUTER,
A FAMlLY ' zirivkipAirsi.:-.46iivoTED TO LITERATURE,'LOCAL AND GENERAL ^ • NEWS. ETC.
S. J., of the Church of the Blessed Sacra
ment, Churchville, and Rev. DANIEL J.
McDtmetorr, of Bt. John's, Philadelphia.
There were present,. besides a number 'of
the members of the Church of the Blessed
Sacrament, Prof. C. R. BUDD, M. D. and
GEORGE DERING WoLFF, personal friends
of Mr. FORNEY ; the latter of whom was
his sponsor.
W e heartily congratulate Mr. FORNEY
that his doubts ana struggles for light in
regard to the t. ue faith are happily end
ed. and that, in the treat and aboundint
mercy of Gap, he has been• led forward,
until he has found certainty and peace in
the guidance and losing embrace of our
Holy Mother, the Church. To the men'
.e- 0) is I
iers of his late congregation, who esteem
ed him so highly for his 'consistency, his
earnestness and his piety, and who accept
ed as true his forcible expositions of prin
ciples, which find their legitimate, practi
cal conclusion only in .the bosom of Cath
-olieittion—lov,olving, as it does,
the sundering of the most tender ties, the
sacrifice of valued friendships, of a high
defieal position, of reputation, of .brunt
worldly prospects and of other considera
tions, which we are not at liberty even to
refer to—ought to speak most loudly.. It
calls them, with a divine voice; louder
than human words could, to follow him
into the bosom bf the Church, whose di
vine institution, unity,, perpetuityand au
thority he has often set forth in his ser
mons. His friends, too, in the Protestant
ministry, of the same theological school
with himself, who hold, intellectually, the
same ideas, which, .under GOD, let him
forward, m.ty well lay .his action to heart;
and ack Apzuselves—whetherv
speaking to them-through him, and call
ing upon them .to "go' and do likewise."
Many of them,'we are.sure, see the rotten
ness of the Protestant platform on which
they stand. Many of them preach truths
that can only find their practical fulfil
' ment in the Catholic Church. " And yet
their-position - as - .Protestant - miniiters and
their action in ascending Protestant pul
pits give the direct lie—(pardou the harsh
word)—to what they preach respecting
the divine character and perpetuity of the
Church, its apostolicity, its divine author
ity, and the divine efficaey and power of
its Sacraments. They have no faith in
Protestantism. They cannot. For they
know that it has no certitude and can fur
nish .none to its adherents. And there
can be no faith in what is in its own na
ture uncertain and which leads its follow
ers only into uncertainty: They know
this, p and yet in every action they perform
as Protestant ministers, nay, every rno•
ment that they allow their fellow-men to
regard them as ministers, they proclaim
in deeds, which speak h uder than words,
their 'confidence in a system, which, in
their hearts, many of them doubt and oth
ers entirely disbelieve.
How they can continue in this self-con
tradictory course; how they can'introduce
members by their counterfeit form of the
holy Sacrament of Confirmation, into a
religious system, of whose truth they them
selves have doubts, and wh:ch, with more
or less clearness, some of them are con
vinced, is false, schismatic and heretical;
how they can professedly discharge the
functions of a ministry, which some of
them are not Satisfied is Apostolical, and
which others positively know to be not A
postolical ; how they can go through the
ceremony of the Protestant imitation and
travesty of the Holy Communion, is more
than we can understand. We recall this
last word.
We can understand it; and yet we can
not. For we acknowledge, with shame
and confus'on, that we were once guilty
of the same inconsistency and self contra
diction. May GOD have mercy on us and
them, and bring them, as we trust He has
:us, to true contrition and penitence; and
may He bring them—as we know and re
juice He has brought us—to the light and
peace, which only can be found by sub
mission to the true Church; the Church
founded on the Rock; the One, Holy,
Catholic, Apostolic,Roman Church, which
anchored, on PETER, has continued, for
nineteen centuries, unmoved and immov
able, unchanged and unchangeable, amid
the conflicts of human opinions, the surg
ings of human passions, the changes of
human institutions, the origin and rise,
the downfall and entire passing away of
nations,
peoples, dynasties and kingdoms;
and which, amid the rage of Hell and
the enmity of the world, continually
renews its youth, and increases in vigor
and in strength. Let' not our Protestant
friends, whom we still love, and upon
whom we look with a longing, , yearning
heart, though the ties , of association and
friendship, that once bound us closely to
gether, are broken, think that we speak
unfeelingly, 'because we speak plainly.—
Let them not think that we are insensible
to the painful struggle through which they
must pass or the sacrifices they must make,
in following the leadings of divine truth.
We know them. For we have passed
through them. But though the inimedi-*
ate experience be bitter asgall, in th,, , end
it will be unspeakably sweet. They will
receive a hundred tad more than they
give up. This is not our poor word, but
that of our Divine LORD : "Amen, I say
to you, there is no man who hath left
house or brethren, or sisters, or father, or
mother, or children, or lands, for My sake
and for the Gospel, who shall not receive
a hundred times as much, now in this time
witlepersecutions ; and in the world
to come life everlasting." "Blessed shall
you be • when men shall hate you and
when they shall separate you, and cast
out your name as evil, for the Sox of
MAls.:'s sake. Be glad in that day, and
rejoice; For, behold, great is your reward
in heaven."
To some it may seem strange that per
sons, intellectually gifted, learned, in ma
ny respects self-denying and pious, pos
sessing many admirable virtues, should
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 24„ 1873.
remain in so. self-contiadictory a position
as that. which we have describei. It may
seem strange' that they should hold and
proclaim truths, which, under divine grace
lead others forward into the true Church,
and yet they themselves, remain without.
The answer is plain; there is nothing
strange about. it Faith is the gift of Gm
Intellectual convictions, logical conclu
sions, human knowledge and learning do
not constitute faith. They amount to
nothing withotit divine grace. Men, of
just-and-sound-ideas - intellectually, may
serve—as do, we often think, our non-Cath
olic quondam teachers, and still friends,
we trust, 7 of the Mercersburg and Lancas-
P.T APhool—a,s-guide-postai-everpointing
out the road to Rome," but never moving
forward one step themselves ; not able to
move forward, for they have not the di
vine help hy which alone they can move
towards the right road ani walk therein,
"Without Me," our Sasiour
1/(Tht M --- g." And without Him, and His
grace, our Mercersburg and Lancaster
friends may be (as they have been) used
instrumentally and against their own wills
to prepare others, and, to a certain extent,
to direct them onward into the enjoyment
of blessings, in which they themselves
shall not participate. May God give
them grace and light and strength, that
they may follow those, whom, according
to all human probability, it might have
been supposed, they would precede into
the loving embrace "of our Holy Mother,
the Church, and may He thus enable them
to share the certitude, the peace, the bles
sedness, in which, under Uod, throeir
instrumentality, unintentional thougit
,thcr Costs i, Lel!, I may ha , e ber therg, fiir the:
:en, others, fiir their inferiors
in every respect, now rejoice.—Catholic
Standard.
In the course of a lecture on selar phe
nomena, delivered recently by Prof. Dra
per, before the ;University of New "York,
the speaker - said:There is one reflection
- connected with these solar eruptions that
has a dire interest for us. If it be true,
and there seems to be no doubt about the
fact, that these streams of intensely heated
hydrogen can be ejected from the body of
the sun with a velocity which, if it endu
red, would bring that breadth of fire to
our earth and in a few hours, what would
be the effect of an eruption on a larger
scale? What would happen to men and
animals if an explosion as general as that
in T. Commas Borealis took place in our
sun 3 In May, 1866, that star, which is
usually invisible to the naked eye, sud
denly flamed up till it was as bright as a
star of the second magnitude. When ex
amined by Miller • and Huggins it was
found to be enveloped by a prodigious at
mosphere. In a few days it dwindled
away and sank •to its former iusiguifia
ounce.
But what must have been the fate of
animated beings on the surrounding plan.
ets, if any such there were? They were
undoubtedly consumed at once and utter
ly dissipated. Who shall say that our
sun, which is a star, will not do the same
to-morrow, or the next day ; and thus the
dread prediction of the Scriptures be re
alized, at any moment? Most assuredly
we have no guarantee to the contrary,
and can only comfort ourselves with the
reflection that while hydrogen is certainly
there, and also an awful store of force to
heat and project, if yet such convulsions
are rare in the order of nature, and there
fore the world may outlast our time.—
Nevertheless, both astronomy and geology
informs us that there have been periods of
great variation in the heat-giving power
of our sun, and we may well be disquiet
ed at the possible approach of a time when
"the heavens shall pass away with a great
noise, the elements shall melt with fer
vent heat, and the earth also, and the
works that are therein shall be burned
up."
Dyspepsia is a weak stomach, made
weak by overwork, and, like a man made
weak by overwork, it needs rest, needs
repose ; but as we cannot live without eat
ing, the necessity must be met by giving
the stomach as little work to do as possi
ble, and that work should be easy, just
as we ourselves, in the weakness of recov
ery from disease, invite our strength by
doing but little work, and that which
can be easily done.
The cure of most cases of dyspepsia be
comes extremely simple, and very certain
if these few first principles are judiciously
applied in any given case—to wit: give
the stomach
,but little to do ; let that lit
tle be of a kind which is easily done, and
let both be so arranged that, the stomach
may do its work easily and soon, and have
abundant time'for rest. The work of the
stomach is:called "digestion" and means
the process of preparing the food for yield
ing its nutrient portions to the system, to
give it warmth, growth, and strength.
As a general thing, dyspeptics should
not drink anything at meals, because
there is a liquid in the stomach which dis
solves the food—in a sense, melts it. If
cold water is drank, it cools this stomach
'liquid, and it loses its power of melting
the food, so to speak ; as the cooler the
water is, the less it is able to melt the ice
in it. Of course, every physiologist knows
that this comparison is not critically true;
but it conveys the essential practical idea
to the minds of the masses.
WATER AS A PURIFIER.—Water is an
excel lent purifier of the atmosphere w sere
ventilation is imperfect. Left standing
in a sleeping-room over night,• it is unfit
to drink or even to gargle the throat with ;
and by placing wide vessels, containing
water, in a room freshly painted, the un
pleasant odor will be absorbed.
Men and women differ. You may per
haps convince a man, but you must per
suade a woman.
A Fearful Possibility.
Facts about Dyspepsia.
For the Village Record
ODE TO INTEMPERANCE.
BY J. B. BAIXNEB
Intemperance,ben ath whose powerful sway
A loyal world is scourged from day to day,
Thou art a God! and those who worship thee
Reverence fraud and honor infamy ;
Justice pervert, and revel all in shame I
Virtue despise, benevolence defame,
Thy creed is:but the breath of villainy,.
_And_omage-paid-to-thee -but-blasphemy t
To break the fathers thou dost rejoice,—
Bereaving doting mothers to their ehoice ;
Blighting parental hope, and mourning age,
Pressing-in-sorrow cn to life's last page!
The imagery of love thou dost efface,
And filial attachment e'er erase I
Youth in its vigor with manhood combine,
And age in its weakness—alike are all thine.
Disease, thy first-born child, clings to thy
Crime, poverty and shame by thee ar .
Consumption finds a home in mbrace,
And epidemic meets a welcortie place;
'ever and cholera thou dost invite,—
Importing pestilence the land to blight.!
Thou art the tambler's life—his blood,
The counterfeiter's nourisiLment and food!
The liar and the thief thou dose esteem, "
And honor those the most who most blast-
pheme
Th' highwayman with a prop thou dost sup
ply!
And liglat'st the torch of the incendiary 1
Man yields his character at thy demand,
And woman trusts her honor in thy hand:
And malice seeks to stay the wise and-jat,
nd lay a nation's honor in the dust !
The legislator is by thee debased,
The statesman,too,dishonored and disgm6ed
Religion's snowy garb has met thy stain!
Earth groans beneath threurs'd influence-
Subcrns the witness, nurtnrs perjury,
And stains the ermine of judicial purity;
Disqualifies the voter—bribes his votes,
Corrupts our institutions, and pollutes
Our noble.government ; disposes life—
Rapine and murder by thine aid are rife !
The patriot is disarmed; courage dismayed;
And sear'd conscience at thy feet is laid I
With fiend's malevolence thou dost survey
The frightful desolation which display
The power of thy will ; insatiate
With havoc's poisoned darts which pene-
trate
Felicity, blight confieence, and slay
Reputation—thy ravage naught can slay I
Condemning peaceful homes to woe and
strife,
Helping to grind the parricidal knife I
The helpless offspring, through thy dread
command
Is butchered by a father's reeking band
The loving wife whose honor knows no stain
Is slandered first by thee, and after slain I
Hell's gates at thy command are open hurled
While laughing at the miseries of the world!
Destroying beauty in its fairest bloom,
Rojoicing man and woman to cbnsume;
Engendering controcercy and strife,
Outraging daughter and seducing wife 1
Thy revenue demads man's life and health,
And robs him of name who has nut wealth.
Tersum thy villainies in one vast whole,
Thou dost destroy the body, mind and soul!
Thou art the Devil's friend, 0 curse of earth,
'Twas the queen of hell who gave thee birth;
And, loyal to its crown, the spirit moves
Perdition's wand o'er man and all his loves!
A VISIONARY TALE.
In a marriage aolemnized near Daven
port, lowa, in Princeton township, iu '62,
the bride was a lively young lady, who
had discarded one very earnest suitor and
sent him dispairingly to California, be
fore accepting the hand of the later sup
pliant ultimately leading her to the altar.
Whether Providence favors this style of
matrimonial tactics or not may be left to
the conjecture of whom it concerns. If
the lady of the present narrative did
wrong, it is supposable that the death of
her husband in two or three years after
the wedding was her sufficient punish.
ment therefor, and no prepogse-sion as to
any requirements of moral justice need af
fect the reader's judgment at the ibegin
fling of part second of the story. Said sec
ond part began a little more than-a year
ago, when the heroine, in a mature stage
of her widowhood, and living with her pa
rents near Princeton, met once more the
man whose rejected addresses had been
the epithalamium of his successor in her
good graces. Returning from what he re
presented as prosperous mercantile for
tunes in California to revisit the scenes of
his old life and disappointment, this gen
tleman took authority from the timesoft
cried bereavement of his formerly unkind
sweetheart to haunt her presence again
and avow afresh his unalienated devotion.
Where the persons interested have had no
actual past antagonism for each other, a
resumed acquanitance like this has a cer
tain romantic charm, under which many
wonders of reconsideration are possible;
ani when at last, just before departing for
the Pacific coast, the Californian tenderly
resumed his early suit, the yet youthful
wido v was not averse to an engagement.
It was consequently with a pledge to re
turn in January last and claim his bride
that the finally accepted suitor set out for
San Francisco, whence he was to send fre
quent missives in response to a correspon
ding ,number from her be left behind.—
Pursuant to this arrangement all went
merrily by letter and anticipation until
about a month before the expected com
ing back of the Californian, when, accord
ing to the Davenport Gazette, the widow
was greatly startled to perceive at her
bedsides. luminous figure in the likeness
of he4late husband, and hear the famili
ar voice distinctly enunciate the words:
"Postpone yourftarriage !" Before she
could master her nerves sufficiently to at
tempt a respotie, the vision bad disappear
ed, and . she was alone. "The dream, as
she considered it," continues the gaz ette,
`troubled . her seriously.' She told her
mother of it, and the two strove to treat
it as a mere illusion ; but the influence re
mained and the ghost was not yet laid.—
On the third night after the first visita
tion the spectre came again, with the same
words and a gesture of warning. Two
nights yet later, while a brother of the la
-4 occupied a room next to hers, with the
-door - open between, the vision appeared
to him, and also to his mother in another
apartment ; distinctly recognizable, and
saying sternly : "Let Sarah's marriage be
postponed !" That was the last of the ap
parition ; but the general domiciliary vis
it had produced an effect, not to be resist
ed, and the spirit-bidden widow wrote to
ask of the Californian •that for family rea
sons, their wedding should be deferred un
til , - g—After-the-usual-form-of
protest this request was granted ; the gen
tleman even confessing that he could more
conveniently leave his business, for the
purpose in May than in January ; and
the correspondence went on as before, for
a time. Its abrupt discontinuance, on the
masculine side, at the begining of last
month, was found_susceptible - - of-no-ex
planation until ten days ago, when a San
Francisco paper informed the family in
lowa that the expected bridegroom was
in prison for robbery, and expressed great
sympathy for his "wife and children I"
In short he had been playing the villain
with his former flame, possibly in revenge
for her maidenly treatment of him ; and
while the lady and her parents are spirit
ualists by no proclivity, the whole rescu
ed household are strong in the faith that
their deliverance is' due to supernatural
intervention. If so, a dead husband is
worth almost as much as a liviig one.—
This is about the only commentary sug
gested by such a story.
A Cheerful Face.
Carry the radiance of 3our soul in your
face. Let the world have the benefit of
it. Let your cheerfulness be felt for good
wherever yon are, and let your smiles be
scattered like sunbeams, on the just as
well as the • unjust." Such a disposition
will yield you a rich reward, for its hap
py effects will come home to you and
brighten your moments of thought.
CheerfulnesS makes the mind clear,
gives tone to thought, adds grace and
beauty to the countenance. Joubert says:
"When you give, give with joy and smil
ing." •
Smiles are little things, cheap articles
to be fraught with so many blessings to
both giver and receiver, pleasant little
ripples to watch as we stand on the shore
of every day life. They are our nigher,
better natures response to the emotions of
the soul.
Let the children have the benefit of
them ; those little ones who need the sun
shine of the heart to educate them, and
would find a level for their buoyant. na
tures in the cheerful;' oving faces of time
who led them.
Let them not be kept from the middle.
aged, who need the eucouragment they
bring.
Give your smiles also to the aged. They
come to them like the quiet rain of sum.
mer, making fresh and verdant the long
weary path of life. They look for them
from you who are rejoicing in the fulness
'af life.
"Be gentle and indulgent to all. Love
the beautiful, the truth, the just, the holy.
The World owes me a Living.
No such a thing, Mr. Paid-up-your
.hands—the world owes you not a single
sau I You have done nothing these twen
ty yaws but consume the products earned
by the sweat of other men's brows.
"You have ate, drank and slept—what
then r
' Why, eat and drink and sleep again."
And this is the sum total of life—and
the world owes you a living ? What have
.you done for it? What products have
you
. created? What miseries have you
alleviated? What errors have you re
moved ? What arts have you perfected ?
The world owes you a living? Idle man,
never was there Ai more absurd idea lcYou
have been a tax—a sponge upon the world
ever since you eame into it. It is your
creditor to a vast amount. Your liabili
ties immense, your asserts nothing, and
you say that the world is owing you. Go
to The amount in which you stand in
debt to the world is more than you will
ever have power to liquidate. You owe
the world for the work of your own strong
arms, and all the skill in work they might
have gained ; you owe the world the la
bor of that brain of yours, the sympathy of
that heart, the energies of your being;
you owe the work' the whole moral and
intellectual capabilities of a man ! Awake
then, from the dreamy do-nothing sloth
fullness in which you live, and let us no
longer bear the false assertion that the
world is owing you, until you have done
something to satisfy the just demand to
which we lave referred.
An old school teacher in Maine has
been presenting her claims for back pay.
She says that years ago she kept school
for $a a week and boarded herself, and
that some of her scholars, who were hard
cases, and difficult to bring iuto decent
discipline, are now smart, enterprising
and prosperous citizens, while she who
aided them effectually in becoming such
is •comparativaely poor. , The old lady
seems to have a better case than the Con
gressmen.
GREAT MINES.—Veiy few of the great
minds of this country have come from
the city, or the cradle of the rich. The
farm and the workship have supplied by
fur, the largest number of our eminent
men.
• Judging by Appearances.
A good story is told by a Yankee edi
tor, in illustration of the folly of judging
from appearances. A person dressed in
a suit of homespun clothes,- stepped into
a house in Boston, on some business,
where several ladies were assembled in an
inner room. One of the company remark
ed iu a low tone, that a countryman was
iu waitirg, and agreed to have some; fun.
The following dialogue ensued: "
• "„You are from the country, Isu ppase 7"
"Yes, Fm from the country."
"Well, sir, what do you think of the
city r
"It's got a tarnal sight of houses in it."
"I expept there ars a great many„ladies
where you come from.
"Oh, yes, a woundy sight ; jist for all
the world like them," pointing to the la
. 'es
"And you are quite a beau among them
no doubt."
"Yes, I beaus 'em to meetin' and a
bout."
'.`May be the gentlemen will take a glass
of wine," said one of the company.
"I thankee; don't care if I do."
'_`But,you,must_driak-a toast."
"I eats toasts what Aunt Debby makes
but as to drinkin' I never seed the like."
What was the surprise of the company
to hear the• stranger speak as follows
"Ladies and gentlemen, permit me to
wish you health and happiness, with eve•
ry other blessing earth can afford, and I
advise you to bear in mind that we are of
ten deceived in appearances. You mis
take me by my dress for a country booby;
I from the same cause, thought these tan
were gentlemen. The deception is mutu
al. I wish you good .evening
ENJOY THE PHESENT.--It conduces
much to our content if we pass by those
things which happen to our trouble, and
consider . what is pleasing and prosperous
that by the representation of the better
the worse may be blotted out. If Ibe o
verthrown in my suit at law, yet my house
Is left me still and my land, or I have 4
Virtuous wife, or hopekul children, or kind
friends, or good hopes. If I have lost one
child, it may be I .litre two or three, still
left me. Enjoy the present, whatsoever it
may be, and be not solicitous for the fu
ture ; for if you take your toot from the
present standing, and thrust it forward to
to-morrow's event, you are in a restless
condition ; it is like refusing to quench
your present thirst by fearing you will
want drink the nett by
If to-morrow
you should want, your sorrow would come
time enough, though you do not hasten
it; let your trouble tarry till its own day,
comes. Enjoy the blessings of this day,
if God sends them, and the evils of it bear
patiently and sweetly, for this day is ours.
We are dead to yesterday, and not yet
born to the morrow.
PECtINDIteOr PIEIRES.—The Scientif
ic American says: It is said that proba
bly about 60,000,000 or 70,00ap0 cod
fish are' taken from the sea annually a
round the shores of Newfoundland. But
even that quantity seems small ,when we
consider that the cod yields something
like 3,500,000 eggs each season, and even
8,000,000 have been found in the roe of a
single cod! Oihtir'fish, though not equal
ing cod, are wonderfully productive. A
herring six or seven ounces in weight is
provided with about 30,000 oval. After
making all reasonable allowances for the
destruction of eggs and of the young, it
has been calculated that in three yeas a
single pairof herring would produce 154-
.000,000. Buffwt,•told that if a pair of
herring were left to breed and multiply
undisturbed for a period of twenty years
they •would yield a dish "bulk equal to the
globe on which we live. The cod farsur
passes the herring fn fecundity. Were it
not that vast numbers o 4 eggs were de
stroyed, fish would so multiply as to fill
the waters completely.
DROPPING A FOP.-11.1% W.C., Of El:
lints, city, a conceited snob, 'was fond of
fine clothing that he reveled in them by
day, and dreamed of them by .night. One
evening he visited a young lady, and as
he removed his overcoat, etc., in the hall,
preparatory to, entering the parlor, the la
dy overheard him utter the following sen
sible -remarks :
• Taking his overcoat and hanging it up
he said; "Hang there, you fifty-dollar o
vercnat I" Pulling oil' his gloves and put
ting them on the table: "Loy there, you
five dollar. gloves !" Placing his hat on
the rack : "Hang there, you tan-dollar
hat I" Putting his cane in-the corner :
"Stand there, you fifteen dollar cane I"
Then entering the parlor, he was about
to sit down, when the young lady•ptilled
the chair from under him, and as she left
the room, said:
"Lie there, you two-cent fool !"
He has not been seen around that ligute
since.
At a party, a few eveniiigs since, as a
young gentleman named Frost was eat
ing an apple in a quietcorner by himself,
a young lady came up and gayly asked
hint.wh - y he didnot share with her. lie
good-naturedly turnedithe side which was
not bitten toward her saying,"Here take
if you wish." ',No, '/ thank you!" she
exclaimAl, looking at him archly, "I
would rather have one• that was not frost
bitten !" and ran off .to join the company,
leaving poor Frost with a thaw in' hiS
heart.
Near tie close of.thl first day of a great
meeting of hardshell baptists, in Georgia,
the local preacher said, alluding .to the
meeting to be held next day:" ":I hope
that the congregation will bekhere by ten
o'clock, for precisely at that hour we will
march to the creek where Isbell proceed to
baptize four adults and six adulteresses."
$2,00 PER YEAR
Iktgii DI 11l
Wit and Sumer.
A plant has been discovered in Mexico
which will cure baldness. It will pay to
cultivate it in the United Stat.&
"Have a 4:Milk of civil da•nages.'."
the le.tPst . style of - invitation known to
those who drink intoxicating beverage..
A Des Moines woman gave her hus
hand morphine to cure him of chanting
tobacco. 6he makes a nice-looking w•id- .
ow. - • -
A dashing widow says she thinks
sueing some gentlemen .t;)r 'a breach, of
promice, in order that the. world tua
know she is in the market.
:• ex
was. living with his ,
you they are •
of lifer
claimed a -man
third scolding wife
nothing to the jawl
It is useless for physicians to argue tt,-.
-gainst short sleeved dresses.• The Consti
tution of the.UnitPd States says that •"the
rizht to bear artasshall-not:oe—iuterfer
TA with. .
"Stealing money is u - serious baiinesa
out here, "says a Colorado pape.r, "big you
can kill a man, and all they ask is that
you don't leave him in the way."
A New Hampshire farmer scouts -
idea of a newspaper at two whole -
dollars a year, and posts a_notice on the
school house that "3 hogs have stride or '
bin atoolenn-from him. -
A Massachusetts poStinistress has IV
signed her office as a matter of honesty,
because site cannot find time to read all
the postal .cattls and attend to other du
ties besides.
An lowa justice of the peace refused
fine a man for kissing a, girl against her •
will, because, when the lass came into .
court, lie was obliged to ,hold on . to the ,
arm of the chair to keep from Lissing 10/
himself. • .
A dutchman, getting excited over no•
count of an elopement of a married .a.o
man, gave his opinion thus: "If my vile
runs avay . mit anoder nun's rife, I. shake
him out of his breeches, if allt: be mine
fader, mine Got!"
A Portland man was caught fishing for
trout on another man's premises the other
day; the owner remustmarl, but retired in
silence before.the majesticanswer, "Who
wants to catch your trout? I'm only trying
to drown this worm!" •.,
A book has just been published; enti
tled, "Why she refused hitn."'.lt is hard
ly necessary to wade through a three-bun.
dred-page volume to ascertain why she
refused him. It was because he wasn't
rich, of course.
Sammy was reading the Bible very at
tentively, when his father came into the
mom and asked him what he had found
that was.so interesting. The boy,.looking
up, eagerly exclaimed : "I found place iu
the Bible where they were all Methodists."
"How • so?" inquired the father. Be
cause," said he, "all the people said
Amen:'
The " India-rubber 'hustle " is tig.tll4-
heard from. This time it was a f
young lady, who was thrown from her car, : °
tinge coming down the hill from Prosir:et
Park. She made2.7l. bounces in 81/, ainli
was finally rescued by a hook and laddor
company, from the top of a telegraph. pole,
where she had stuck in attempting to
complete the 98th bounce.
ANOTHER MAN WANTED.-OM farm
er 'Pratt went into his home one day R ai
caught John, the hired man, hugging Mrs.
P. The farmer said nothing, ant. went
out into the field.
After dinner he wanted John so n le n
thing, but John wag not to be t',uunce. He
went, at last, into. John's room, wnere the
latter was on his knees packing.his trunk.
"What's the matter, Johursaici P. •
"0; nothing," replied John..,,_ .-
"What are you packing your trunk
fore
"I'm going away."
"Going awd.y! - What are you ring a
nay ior?" . .
4 0, you know," answered'John.
"No, I don't know," risjolned P. "fiorrio,
give me the reason eg your indtitu desire.
to go away." . •
'•Well, meekly answered John, -up-a
know what you mughtme doing this fore
noon !" . •
"0, pshaw !" Ltughed Pratt, "do not 'be
so foolish. If you and 'axe can't bug the
old woman enough, I'll hire another rmtn."
A Mrs. Hotheway, of Temple, Maine„
is ninety-nine yours old, and'hos smokr , d
and chewed tobaceo since she Wll9 t 1
She formerly drank spiritous liquors, out
the Moir e law was the means of incrt„,i:;,-
ing Buell a horrid, dead-shot style of Imo.
zine in the shape of whisky into the State
that she believed it necessary, la ord.;r to
prolong her life, to abandon the use of the
ardent altogether. .
Arbon young men and young women
are once' taught that they .are not- their
own, that their bodies are given to them
for a purpose, as well as their. intellects,
.their souls, they will no longer fe,, , 1 at llber
,ty to abuse them. They: will neither poi
son them with ardent spirits and tobacco,
nor eremp, restrain, or despoil* them by
the adoption of injurious fashions, They
will respect the' betty .as the vehicle of
thought,-feeling, desiVe and espiration,and
try to make - it and , Itelep it beautiful, in
the beet and truestseasesiof the term..
The Veeleyans of Irelani IRmixer 19
976. • •