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33Y W. BLAIR
VOLUME2S.
elect^ poetru.
- • .
et:f' t 7
I LIVE YOU -ROM
(The following waif expres:es the lamen
tation of many a heart diNarpointed 'in its
aspirations.]
sh.ll not forget you : the years may be
t ender,
But vain are their efforts to soften my
And 'the strone 'hands of
'Me and slender,
To garland the . ,graKe .that is :made in any
Your - imngeis ever about me-before rne,
'Your voice flows on the wing offhe wind-•,
And the spell of your presenee in absence
is O'er me,
And the (lend of-Abe:Last In the present
cannot fnrget yon-: the one - boon ungiv-
en,
The •
boon of-your love is the eros thatl
In the inhinhrht of sorrow I vainly have
striven
To rrn•h in my heart the sweet image hid
there.
Tn b.iiir•ll the beautiful dreptris that are
.Frr+n ,, irr*
The h-11R of my memory—dreams worse
'ltnn vain;
Tor the one drop withheld I am thirsting
and longing,
For the one joy denied me Fm pining in
I wonll rh-t forget von : I live to iemem,
bor
Bil!al
dpeny.
And brighter than JIZTIC glows thu bleakeet
December.
When peopled with gborts of the dreams
passed away.
011Ve lovinz you truly. T loved you forever;
T mmirrt not in weak. idle7rief forthe past;
But the lore in any bosom can never, oh!
Pass ont, or another pass in, fiist or last
nisullaurous Pading.
TilE DOCTOR'S STORY.
"Speaking of dreams, presentiments,
-warnings, and the like," said the doctor,
as he remov+d•from his mouth the cigar
lie had teen smoking, "reminds me of a
little incident of which I was the hero,
when I was down in Virginia, and which
<lid more toward makillg me a believer
in such things, than listening to a dozen
lectures or arguments 'could have done.
I will relate it to you if you wish. and I
think you will then agree with me that I
have sumo ranson tin hrlievingthat dreams
are somt times sent as forerunners or war
nings of coming events."
"Of course we shall be glad to hear it,"
I replied. "Who ever heard of a party
<tf hunters who were not glad to listen to
a story ? Even a poor one is better than
none, and anything calculated co throw
some light upon the subject. we have been
(Hien: sing, will be of special interest at
this time."
We were sitting just outside of our cab
in, enjoying the invigorating air of an
August tvening, at the time the above
conversation took place. By "we" Imean
Dr. Warner, Charles Vincent, and my
self; and at the time of which I write,
we had left our homes in New York city
for a couple of months' recreation at fish
ing, and hunting in the Adirondack re
gion. On the evening in which the above
conversation took place, we had peen en
gaged in a discussion on the subject of
dreams and omens ; Charles and I hold
ing to the belief that all omens, warnings
and supernatural sights and sounds were
purely im•iginary, while the doctor took
the opposite side of the argument, and
mnintamei that there were well-authenti
cated instances of persons having been
warned of some approaching danger to
themselves or friends, and that future e
vents were sometimes plainly revealed in
dreg- s.
"S?veral years ago," commenced the
doctor, "I resided as you are aware, in a
wild, mountainous, and rather lonely re
gion of Virginia. There was a railroad
but a few rods in front of my dom, and a
station and considerable of a village a
bout a mile to the west. The nearest sta
tion t the east was about ten miles dis
tant. I moved to the place with my young
wife late in autumn, and about the first
of the filming March I Was attacked
with typhoid fever, and was sick for about
a month. But, thanks to a naturally
strong constitution, and the careful nurs
ing of a loving and affectionate wife, I
slowly recovered.
"As' soon as I got strong enough to sit
up, and walk a little, I told my wife she
had better take the ears, and go and visit
her brother, who lived about fifty miles to
,the east of us. She had been taking care
.of me so faithfully dnrine• my illnesq, both
by day and night, that I feared her health
and strength would tail, if she did not
rest a while. I knew she had been very
anxious to go, and I felt sure that her
brother and his family would be very
glad to see her, and would try to make
her visit a pleasant one She hesitated a
bout leaving me, fearing I might need her
care; but slier waitingajew. days, and
seeing that I continued to regain my health
and strength, she concluded to follow my
advice, and accordingly, one fine pleas
ant morning of April, after doing every
thing she could for my comfort, and bid
ding rue he careful about taking cold, she
started, intending to be gone between one
End two weeks. .
"The—weather for_ahs eek after
my wife left me wa.4 . dry and pleasant. I
spent most of my time in sleeping and
reading, occassionally varied by some
kind neighbor who would conic to inquire
after my health. On very warm and pleas
ant days I would venture to take.a short
walk to gather wild flowers,. which were
then in bloom in the forests near by.
"Oue day I exercised a little beyond
, tree;-`' -nd felt quite tired at night
and lay awake for a long time. Mast
fell into an uneasy slumber, and dream
ed a very curious and startling dream.—
' I 'seemed to have gone forward into the
-fu tare -a—eou pie-of—days, _ang:_iustead_ of
:Wednesday, tbe_24.th,_it seemed in my_
! dream to be Friday, the 26th. It seem
ed to me that a heavy rain had been fir.ll
- -the most of the day, and all. of the.
- day , before,'but the evening was clear and
:pleasant, and 'not very dark, though the
moon was not shining. I seemed to be
wcalzing• along the.rallroad track towards
he east. I ••first.passed through a piece
! woods about a 'half a mile wide ; then
r about a mile threugh a cleared field
• ntaining a ecuple of farm •houses, one
habited and the other deserted. I then
tered another wood, and, after walking
out a mile and a half, I came to a.
`ream greatly swollen by rain, which had
reakened the railroad bridge so much
iat the passenger train, in attempting•to
rocs, had broken it down. and the bridge
nd ears, completely wrecked, were lying
n both sides of the stream, except por-.
ions that were floating down. Some of
the passengers lay dead or dying among
the ruins, some were floating in the water,
-o---wfle-trees-and
and a-- ew—were c ing
busles on the share. It was a fearful an
Llicarfrendi - rvi—str,htTtuty-fenrhir
tion,ana such as I trust I may 'laver see
"Although it was night, I seemed to
see all these things very distinctly, and
can well remember my feelings as I sur
veyed the SC 4110. While viewing the la
dies in the water, I suddenly caught sight
of the mangled and lifeless form of my
wife, and with a wild cry I awoke.
"This dream made so great an impres
sion on my mind that I lay awake for the
remainder of the night.
"The next day, early in the morning,
it commenced raining, and continued to
rain through the day and the following
night. I felt very lonely and uneasy all
day, which feeling was increased by re
ceiving a letter front my wife, saying that
she intended to come home on. Friday
night, on the express train. I retired late,
feeling much worried on account of my
fearful dream. And, to add to this fear,
presentiment, or whatever you may call
it, the dream was repeated, and even more
distinct and vivid than the first.
"When I arose in the morning, the rain
was still falling. This was on Friday,
and therefore the day on which my wife
was to start for home. There were two
passenger trains from the east each day.
one at nine o'clock in the forenoon, and
the other at nine in the evening. The last
wa' the express, and the one in which my
wife was coming.
"Toward the middle of the afternoon
the rain ceased falling,and the clouds slow
ly cleared away. The dream made such
an impression on my mind that I resolved
to attempt to find the stream I had seen
so plainly in my dreams, and if it appear
ed at all dangerous, to attempt to stop the
train before reaching it. Accordingly,
soon after the rain was over, I got ready
and started. I had never before had oc
casion to visit the station in this direction,
and therefore was entirely unacquainted
with this part of the country. But I found
everything just as it had appeared in my
dream.
"Immediately after starting, I passed
through the piece of woods I had seen in
my dream, and then entered the cleared
field, and found the two farm houses, one
inhabited and the other deserted. In fact,
everything seemed as natural as if I had
been this way before. 1 walked slowly,
and late in the afternoon I came to the
stream, which flowed rapidly, and seemed
much swollen. But the bridge, instead of
being broken down and mangled with the
broken cars and mangled passengers, was
still standing. and though its timber look-.
ed quite old and weather-beaten, there
seemed to be little danger of its breaking
down beneath the weight of a passenger
train. There was a heavy freight train
due from the west about six o'clOck, and
I resolved to wait at least until it came ;
and if it passed over in safety, there could
be, I thought, hut little danger of acci
dent to the lighter passenger train.
"In due time it came thundering along,
and passed safely over the bridge. But,
though it might have been owing to my
excited imagination, it seemed tope that
the bridge bent and shook beneath the•
weight of the train in a manner highly
suggestive of danger. At all events, I re
solved to wait awhile longer, and see if
the stream, which was 801 rising, would
have any apparent effect upon the bridge.
I took with me a lantern, and also a thick
blanket to protect me from the damp night
air.
"Shortly after sunset, es I was sitting a
few rods from the stream, I heard a splash,
and, hurrying to the bridge, I saw.that a
portion of the bank, on the opposite side,
had broken away; and also that the action
of the water, or some other cause, had
weakened the foundations of the bridge
in such a manner that a portion of the
track was bent and lowered enough to
make it impossible for a train to cross,
I immediately crossed the bridge. resole•
4 6' - • k, ' 1 to I e' :
•,
'WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN VOUNTY, PA., DECEMBERTOURSDAY,I 12,1872.
ed to stop the train, if Possible, before it
reached -the bridge and certain destruc
tion.
"Well, to make a. long story short, I
went on in the direction from which the
train was to come, and soon found a place
which commanded a good view of the track
for a considerable distance. • I lit my lan
tern wra •sed m blanket closely around
me, and sat down to soy wearisort e
of two hours. The night was , ' clear, but
not very dark, though no moon was shin
ing, I suffered none from cold, as it was
remarkably warm; even for the climate of
Virginia, and I succeeded in keeping a
wake, though the task was a difficult one.
"Slowly the moments passed by, but at
last I saw by my watch that the time had
nearly expired, and a few minutes would
- dee id fate lhars man (1 - I&human
freight. Soon I saw a light far away,
and very Small at first, but rapidly grow
ing larger and brighter. I arose, trembling
with excitement, and commenced swinging .
theiflantern above my head; and, as the
train drew near, I redoubled my exertions,
and shouted loud as I could.
"Onward came the train at a rapid
speed. It was n terrible suspense to me.
Should the, engineer fail to see my signal,
or not see it in time to stop the train be
fore going a few rods past me, I knew that
n - VT,:human power could save it. On it
came, and 0, joy unspeakable] just as I
gacie up my exertions, and stepped -from
the , track, my frantic signals were observ
ed and the whistle was sounded, arousing
the sleepy brakesnien like an electric
shock, ,who flew quickly to their stations.
"The train was quickly stopped, and I
then informed the engineer and conduc•
tor of the danger ehead, while the fright
ened passengers left the cars and gather:
eel around me. Many a brave man grew
pale when he learned What a fearful death
he had so narrowly escaped.
"Among the passengers I found my
wife, not mangled and lifeless hut alive
• w-ell r -thougli—s • •••
ands gooc
t:rtof=tra.
seri
OEM
tile train backed to the station it had just
left from which teierrrams were sent to
warn all other trains of tie anger..
"In the morning my wife and I took
the stage for home. I have but little more
to add, except the company insisted upon
making me a handsome present, and also
gave me a free pass over the road. Ido
not uretend to be able 'to explain this
dream, which was certainly a remarkable
one, though 'doubtless no more so than
others could relate. But I am satisfied
that this dream was the means of saving
many human lives from a sudden and
most terrible death."
"Let not ambition mock their useful toil.
Their humble joys; or destiny obscure ;
Nor grandeur hear with a disdainful smile
The etkort, but simple annals of the poor."
The man who, by the exercise of his
natural abilities, rises to a position of emi
nence and honor, unless gifted with au un-
usual amount of kindness of heart, and.
unselfishnei,s of soul, is exceedingly apt to
regard with, levity, and affect to despise
the lesser doings of his fellow creatures.—
Yet does he never realize in his sober mo
ments that to these people he is indebted
fby whatever, grandeur or fame he acquires?
All cannot be great in this world. Few
can he geniuses. A limited number only
can acquire distinction in the arts. in lit-,
erature, in politics, in commerce and in
war. There must be the lesser millions
to fill up the chinks and crevices in a mi.;
tion ;to give body and strength to-.it; to
carry out the most stupendous plans of
greater minds, as the artisan rears with
toiling hands the structure that the archi
tect designs. Though in a humble sphere,
and with little ostentation the laborer goes
about his daily duties, if he performs them
well and faithfully, is he not as deserving
of credit and praise'as the master mind
that directs him ? Capital cannot live.
without labor; labor cannot live without
capital. They are absolutely essential to
each other. The rich 'are necessary to the
existence of the poor; the poor are neces
sary to the existence of the rich. In ev
ery human heart God has implanted a
soul, and the promises of the future are
as bright and fair in the lowliest mind as
they are in the I.lftiest one. "Life is like
a theatre ; during the play we take higher
and lower seats, but when it is over, and
the curtain falls, we mingle in the com
mon stream and go home.''
The annals of the poor are sho*rt and
simple. Their sphere of action is necessa
rily limited, yet their limit of usefulness
is infinite. The most squallid rag picker
than wanders amid the garbage of the al
ley and street may have a history as in
teresting as the annals of a king. How
ever low the human soul may sink, how
ever much the human body may become
degraded, in the bent and stooping form,
in the hopel , :ss features and the aching
heart is written the fulfillment of a hu
man ‘lestiny, and the fate of one short hu
man life is no trifling and simple matter.
Oh, ye, on whom a fairer fortune has
deigned to smile ; whose hearts are pure
and free from sorrow and distress, and
whose souls are as pure as the newly fal
len snow, look not with scorn or a disdain
ful emile upon the lowly and unfortimate,
who fill the empty corners of this world.
Lift up your faces heavenward to thank
God , you are not like them, but rather
pause to lift them to their feet
. when your
eyes behold the places -into which they
have fallen. No soui may fall So low as
to be beyond hope, and there is no human
being of strength and intelligence whose
life is incapable of being made useful.—
Eugene.
There are no pockets in shrouds, nor
money drawers in coffins. But we accu
mulate good or bad capital for the other
world, for all that.
eeirtg• me
mom
The 'Poor.
iOntER.
Forevei and ever:the reddening leaves
Float to the sodden grasses.
Forever and ever the shriverini trees
Cower and shrink to the chilling breeze, -
That sweeps from far off sullen seas;
To wither them as it poises.,
orevc: :I. ! t ' • • below grasy is. • ,
Stoopg over the eorrowful • earth. ,
Forever and ever the steady .rain
Falls on bare bleak hill, and barren
And flashes on roof and viiidoilrpiine,
And hisses upon the hearth.'
Forever and everthe weary thoughts• ' ,
Are tracing the self Mme track.
Forever and ever, to and fro,
On the old unchanging road they go,
Through dreaming and' walking, through
joy and woe,
Calling the dead hours back.
-Forever and-ever-the-tired-heart •
--
Ponders o'er evil done,
ForeVer and ever through cloud and gleam,
Tracing the course of the strong life stream
And dreary and dullas the broken dream,
Foreve; the rain rains on. •
—All thr Year Round.
The Quack ,Doetei.
there_are_
many persons in the world who think it
impossible to exist without the aid of med
icine. lam not speaking of the poor,
sickly ones, whose-systems are not sue-,
ciently strong to perform their functions'
without its aid, but of the strong and
hearty who are possessed with this idea,
which soon forms itself into a passion as
strong as that caused by the frequent use
of spirituous liquors, and although it has
not the same demoralizing effect upon its
victims, it often does as much, or even
more, to impair the c,mstitution if taken
, •when there is no necessity.
--It-is-not-my-intention-to_say_a_won
: - gainst-med eine-when-propgly-adm n is
tered, but let a quack set up his stand (no
matter whether it is in the United States
or any Ter - p - m Li ut of the globe) and
commence extolling the virtues of his new
ly-discovered "Elixir of Life," and hun
dreds of those whom I have referred to
will flock towards him, to be supplied with
a little colored Water, bread pills, or pos
sibly something really injurious.
About two years ago whilst traveling
through Bristol, Tennessee, my attention
was drawn towards a crowd of .persons
listening eagerly to a young man, who.
mounted upon a stool, was exhibiting a
bottle containing a mixture which he ex
plained by different modes - of applicition,
would cure anything, from a corn to' a
cc nsumption. '
It was a very unusual thint , for me to
notice anything of the kind. but the voice
of this professed disciple of "Eseulajpius
seemed familiar to my Kir and I stepped
into the road to get a clearer View of his
face, when I must say I was very greatly
astonished to find an old schoolfellow of
mine who'll,: I had not seen for four years,
at which time he left New York to join
several others on a mining expedition.
He evidently did not recognize me, so
I loitered around a few moments and saw
him dispose of at least twenty bottles at
the price of fifty cents each.
It amused me considerably to hear him
descant upon the cures his po
tions had effected and (having a great de
sire to know how lie
had fallen in with
the medical (?) profession) I wrote upon
the fly sheet of a letter I had in my pock
et, a few words requesting him to call
Upon me at the St. Cloud Hotel in the
evening; and giving a youngster a few
cents to deliver it, walked off, thinking of
my school days and the many happy times
11. G. and myself had spent together.
In the evening my friend made his ap
pearance and was extremely •pleased to
see me.
After the usual salutations and enquir
ies were over, I asked him to inform me
how long he had been in the profession he
was then following, and where he had
graduated..
Re looked me full in the face for a few
seconds and then burst into an imnioder
ate fit of laughter. When, • however, he
sufficiently recovered himself to proceed,
he said :
"You remember me starting from New
York for the mines, with the idea my for
tune would be made in about three weeks?"
• "Perfectly well," said I.
"Well," continued he, "I did not suc
ceed quite so well •as I anticipated ; our
party consisted of twelve young fellows,
possessed with the same idea as myself,
and none of whom were in the slightest
degree acquainted pith the country.
"We arrived at Nashua, Ohio, safely,
encamped, and commenced work in right
earnest.
"After five days' toil, under a burning
sun, two of our party fell sick and died,
and upon the next day another yielded to
the same fate. This reduced our number
to nine.
"Upon the fourteenth day out we hit
upon a vein of silver and should doubt
lees have made considerable money, but a
number of rough fellows got scent of it,
asserted a prior claim, and, we not feeling
inclined to yield, a desperate fight ensued,
in which two or three on each side were
badly wounded.
"A reinforcement then came to the aid
of the rowdies, and •we were forced' to quit
our newly found possessions.
We, however, all determined not to
give up, and commenced once- more; but
meeting with no success, and being quite
disheartened, we sold our tools divided the
proceeds, and disbanded.
I then sought for employment in any
capacity, and after a time was offered
eight dollars per math, and board, to
work .on a farm.
GENERAL NEWS. ETC.
This I accepted, and bad been in the
positiOn about three months, when a well
dreaseil' man called, desiring 'shelter for
the night.
lie Awns tqld. he Could share my bed if
he. felt 'disposed, which offer be readily
ac
cepited and 'being very much :fatigued;
'after a rough meal, we retired to ray a
partment, (a loft that had formerly been
sed-to-stow-ha •
This; was the first mart I bad seen, since
my arrival,' Who shoWed any signs of edu
cation, and we naturally soon got into a
conversation , in the course of whichle
told me -be= had been brought up to the
study of medicine,. but getting into dis
grace it home, ran away before taking his
diploma, and was at thattime going from
place to place Selling Pills; etc., by which,
he assmed-me,he gained sufficient to keep
him comfortably. ,
He said he wanted - an assistant, and
Offered one-half the profits if I would-ac
dept Ole berth. I was plesuied enough at
the-prospoOeing-iinite-ti - ..*.
dadieu tofirmer Still Well—an-
his wife.
Doctor Cureall (for so he styled him
self) now explained to me the manufac
ture of his far-famed boluses, etc., Which
were prepared as illlows :
The pills were made of flour mired with
- a - littlejalap, -- and into. a past6 - hy - the aid
of water, and then rolled in the usual man
ner_Theliquid_was__a_weak_decoction_of_
licorice juice, to which was added a small
quantity of Epsom salts, ,by way of a fla
voring Ow people who patronize quacks
would not believe their remedies genuine
if palatable.) All that now remained to
be done was bottling, bcixing, and label-'
ing, and they were ready for sale.
I now assumed the title of Dr- Walker,
and every morning we would start with a
.full supply of the articles mentioned, pro
ceed in different directions, and set op our
stalls in different villages; meeting in the
evening to talk over our 'gains, and divide
the profits.
Ity lt_on_for = -tiro
~is_went_on_tor_a_bisn- s iderable- unt
-unt il-one-day---Dr.-Cureal
rch widow, who, like the porter we read
of in Ainsworth's "old St. Paul's," rejoic
ed . •i - . .•dtch
chest near, accepted his proposal.of mar
triage, and after a'courtship of three weeks
she was led to the altar a ,bride.
Having now no longer occasion to trav
el, he settled comfortably down to.look af
ter the property his spouse had brought
him.
. I was •`then. left sole proprietor of the
practice, NV h ich I have kept ever since,
and will tell "yotfit this moatent I am not
worth less than tiVentythousand dollars,
the whole of which I , liiivie realized in the
way I have.described to. you.
I could not help laughing at these means
of acquiring a fortune, although not ap
proving of them ; but whenever I see a
quack vending his mixtures, I think' of
my old friend, his twenty thousand dol
lars, and . the many poor deluded mortals
who helped him to obtain them.
A Phantom Train.
A ,corrsspondent in the Albany (N. Y.)
Evening Times relates a conversation with
a superstitious night watchman on .the
New York Central Riilroad : ."I believe
in spirits and ghosts. I bow such things
exist. If you will come up in April I will
convince you." He then told of the phan
tom train that every. ear comes up the
road with the body ofAbraham Lincoln.
Regularly in the mouth of Awl about
midnight, the air on the track becomes
very keen and cutting. On either side it
is warm and still. Every watchman when
he feels this air steps off the track and BUS
down to watch. Soon after the pilot Pn
gine, with long black streamers, and_ a
band With black instruments, playing dirg
es, grinning skeletons Sitting all about
will pass up noiselessly,dtaul the very air
grows black. •
If it is moonlight clouds :always come
over the moon, and the music seems to
linger, as if frozen with horror. A few mo- -
meats atter and the phantom train glides
by. Flags and streamers hang about.—
The track ahead seems covered with a
black car et, and the wheels are draped
with the same. The coffin of the murder
ed Lincoln is seen lying on the centre of
a . car, and all about it in the air and the
train behind are vast numbers of blue
coated men, some with coffins on their
backs, others leaning', against them. It
seems then that all the 'trait armies that
died during the war are• escorting the
phantom train of the President. The wind
if blowing, dies away at once, and . over
all the earth a solemn hush, almost stif
fling., prevails. If a train were passing,
its noise would. be drowned 'in the silence
and the phantom train would ride over it.
Clocks aud watches always stop, and when
looked at are found to be from five to
eight• minutes behind. Everywhere on
the road, about the 27th -of April, the
time of watches and trains is found sud
denly behiel. - This, said - the leading
watchman, was from the' passage of the
phantom train.
A plague of butterflies is a Tare occur
rence. A short time ago, liowever, the
town of Florence was invaded by a prodi
gious quantity of these insects. All die
distance4if the Lung'. Arno .between the
Piazza Manin and the
,Barriers, and in
all adjacent streets, the passage was al
mostobstruetedby an extraordinary quan
tity of butterflies* that had'swarmed in
such thick clouds - under this gas lights
that the streets were comparatively dark.
Fires were immediately lighted by order
of the municipality and by private citi
zens, in which the butterflies burnt their
wings, so that half an hour afterwards one
walked upon a layer formed -by the bod
ies of the butterflies and inch 'thick 1 ! 1
They were of a whitish color, and some
of the streets appeared as if covered with
snow ; at leant, so say th.e• Italian papers.
The Tables Turned.
Years ago, into a wholesale'grocery
store in Boston walked a tall, muscular
looking, raw-boned man, evidently a fresh
comer from some back town in Maine or
New Hampshire. Accosting the first per
son he met, who happened to be the mer
chant himself; he asked.:
"You don't want to hire, a man in your
e - do-you-?'
"Well," said the merchant, "I do not
know, what can you do?"
"Do: !" said the man, "I rather guess I
can turn my hand to almost anything.—
What do you want done?" •
"Well, if I was td hire a man, it would
be one that could lift well, a strong wiry
fellow-one, for instance, that could shoul
der a sack of coffee, like that yonder, and
- early it acoross - the room- and never-lay
it down."
"There,, now, Captain," said our coun
tryman, "that's just me. What will you
give a man that can suit you ?"
"I ‘v - iirall — iiiti,'L - Aiid—theinerelianti - .
"if you will shoulder that sack of coffee,
and carry it across the store twice and
never lay it down,l will hire you for a
year, at one hundred dollars per month?!
"Done I" said the stranger, and by this
time every clerk in the store had gather
ed_around_and were waiting to_ join in,the
laugh against the man, who walking to
the sack, threw .it acoe.ss his shoulder with
i
pert ease, as it was norexcfemelTEeiV.
vy, and walking with it twice across the
store, went quietly to a large hook which
was fastened to the wall, and, hanging the
sack upon it,
_lathed to the merchant and
said :
"There, now, it may bang there till
doomsday ; I shan't never lay it down.—
What shall Igo about, mister? Just
give me plenty to'do and one hundred
.dollars a month, and it's all right."
The clerks broke into a laugh, but it
was out of the other - side of 'their mouths;
and the merchant, discomfitted, yet satis
fied, ke it to his' agree a ; an , to-day
-the-green countryman ss" 1 :9""
ner in - the - firm,tnd—worth-half-a-m
'dollar&
• • rvr.s.—"CoraerP-ar:
not confined to Wall Street, New York,
or to State Street, Boston. Neither are
they made wholly by dealers in .stocks
and bonds. The Zulus of South Africa
do not need a missionary to teach them
to be shrewd. Though a strong and ro
bust people, they have a decided weak
ness for womankind. They have as ma
ny wivesas they have means to,purchase
and, unlike many civilized countries, they
buy not with gold, or houses, or estates,
but with cows. Tw,enty, thirty, fifty or a
hundred cows are given for a wife, accor
ding as the girl is young and beautiful or
otherwise. One bold Zulu ouerator with
large capital once bought up all the young
and desirable girls in the market of the
whole region, and compelled all who want
ed to buy to pay him most exorbitant
prices for wives. Of course there was
much distress, and this disastrous state of
dings attracted the attention of theirgov
ernrnent, and the recurrence of it was pre
vented by a law which fixes the legal
price of a Wife to be only ten cows. No
man can collect more than this by law.
1443 may receive fifty if he will, but he
pan force no one to pay more than ten.
People always fancy that we cannot be
come wise, without becoming old also ;
but in truth as years accumulate it is hard
to keep as wise as we were: Man becomes,
in the different stages pf his life, indeed,
a different being; but he cannot say that
he will snrely,, be better as he grows on;
ward, and in certain matters, he is as like
ly to be right in his twentieth as in his
sixtieth year.
-A. lady made her Inishand a present of
a silver drinking cup with an angel at the
bottom; and when she filled it for him he
used to drain it to the bottom, and she
asked him why ho drank every drop.—
"Because, ducky," he said, "I. long to see
the dear little angcl." Upon which she
had the angel taken out, and had a devil
engraved at the bottom, and he drank it
off just the same, and she again asked the
reason. "Why," he replied, "because r
won't leave the old devil a drop."
Men may not be on your side, but they
mai be going toward the same city where
you are going by a parallel route, or even
by a circuitous route. Whenever a maul
has his face set as though he was going to
Jerusalem, you have no right to question
the method by which he shall go.
Be thankful that your tot has fallen on
times 'when, though there may be 1 many
evil tongues and exasperated spirits, there
are none who have fire and faggot at com
mand.
The expectations of life depend .upon
dilligence ; and the mechanic who would
perfect his work, must first' sharpen his
tools.•
We see how much a man has, and there
fore we envy. him; did we see how little
he evjoye, we should rather pity him.
As empty -vessels make the loudest
sound, so they that have the least wit are
the greatest babblers.
Princes are never without flatterers to
seduce them, ambition to deprave them,
and desires to corrupt them.
fe'The Grecian ladies count their:age
from their marriage, not their birth. A
good idea.
Honest and courageous people have
very little to say about .either courage or
honesty.
Sin never comes alone. One evil thought
leads often to a sad and disgraceful end.
$2,00 PER YEAR
11_1111 I ;3
Cit and Initior.
Wbat should a ler
—About fifteen m •
'Whiskey is said to be a horn of plenty.
because it will corn-you-copiously. .
An editor asks his subseribersto pay
sum .a ie may pay
his.creditors.
Why is the cou pling _ chain of a locomo
tive like love? Because its a tender at
tachment.
Punch asks: "Why is the man who
does not bet as bad as a man who does ?
Because he is no better."
An elderly gentleman was shocked to
learn that every fashionable young lady
carries a paper to back her.
fellows? Because they "set Up" in bUsi
ness without a cent of capital.
About this time look out for a change
in the complexion of the human nose:—
especially if it should get the epizootic.
"I know a gal so modest, Sam, dat she
ordered her beau out ob de house." "What
-forl" -- Bek - a - seTin - conversation on - de sub
ject ob de wedder,_ he said de wind had
shifted."
"I would advise
ou to put
in dye-tfig, srf==re, , sap a
joker to a sandy haired girl. "I would
advise you to put yours into an oven, its
rather soft," said Nancy.
"Husband, I don't know where that
boy got his bad temper. lam sure not
from me."
"No, my ilear;for I don't find that you
have lost any."
Alap
more - humanizing — or, WritiOnquires; " • • IL_
there under heaven ore - hurfianizing; - or,
if we may use the term, more angelizin
than a fine black eye in a lovely woman?"
wo.. act eyes, is the ready answer.
An observer says that "children are not
well-behaved since the mothers bete ta
ken to wearing high buttoned boots."—
This is supposed to be a jest on the disuse
of slippers for spanking purposes.
A gypsy going through a village on 'a
rainy day in a pair of torn booth was ac
costed by a passer-by, Nilo suggested that
his boots were too bad for such weather.
"You are mistaken, sir," said the gypsy,
"it is the weather that is too bad fbr my
boots."
A "shabbily dressed genius being disre
spectfully addressed by strangers, was ask
ed why he didn't resent it. "It was my
rusty old hat and coat that were slighted,
and not myself," he replied. "If they
choose to take it up and make a fuss a
bout it they may, but I shall have noth
ing to do with it." .
A minister nee told Wendell Phillips
that if his business in life were to save the
negroes, he ought to go South where they '
were, and do it. "That is worth thinking •
of," replied Phillips; "and what is your
business in. life?" "To save men from
hell." "Then go there and attend to your
business." rejoined Mr. Phillips. c
"Where are you going?' said a young
gentleman ti an elderly one in a white
cravat, whom he overtook a few miles
from Little Rock. "I am going to heav
en, my son. nave been on the way eigh
teen years."—"Well, good-bye; old fellow,
if you have been traveling toward heaven
eighteen years, and got no nearer to it
than Arkansas, I'll take another route."
The Cincinnati Enquirer tells the fol
lowing for a naked fact,:, "A ccrreqpon
dent saw Miss Vinnie Ream at work in
her studio "with her arms bare to the
shoulders, and ankles likewise." Ankles
bare to the shoulders! For shame, Vin
nie ! That kind of costume would have
been well enough in Eden before the fall,
but now—we can't continue, our modest
pen shrinks from the subject." :
Two lawyers ia Lowell, returning from
court the oilier day, one of them said to
the-other, "I've a notion to join Rev. Mr.
---'s church; been debating the matter
for Some time. What do you think of it?"
"Wouldn't do it."
"Well, why?"
"Because it would do you no possible
good; while it would f;ea very great inju
ry to the church."
Teacher.—" First class in Astronomy
come up.and say your lesson. Thomas,
where does the sun rise?"
Thomas.—" Away over in the mender,
sir."
Teacher.—" Hold vour tongue, you duce."
Joe.—t.l know, your
Block in the east."
Teacher.—Thy does it rise in the east?"
' Joe.- I Cos east makes everything rise."
Teacher.—" You'll make a well-bred boy
if you 'kelp on, so take your seat."
The following is told as having recent
ly occurred in this city: A lady from the
country entered one of the grocery stores
and asked the clerk if he wanted to par
,chase any chickens—A couple of them—
at the same time throwing a couple of live
ones on the counter. The clerk replied
that he did, and as the tied pair showed
considerable anxiety to be rereased from
their unpleasent fix, be asked her if they •
would lay there—meaning would _di* lie.
a few moments on the counter until be
could attend to them. "Lay there?" in
dignantly asked the old lady ; "of course'
not—them's roosters—they won't lay no.)
where!"
matt preach about?
tes.
our head