BY W. BLAIR TOLITKE 25. THI.WAYAESBORO' VILLAGE IMOD PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING By W. BLAIR. 'TERMS—Two Dollars within the year; Two Dollars n and Fifty cents after the expiration of the year. ADVERTISEMENTS— One Square (10 lines) three insertions, $1,50; for each subsequent insertion, Thi r live Cents per Square. A liberal discount made to yearly adver ' tisers. LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per line for the first insertion, Seven Cents for subsea uent insertions proftssional bards. J. B..ANBERSON, M. D., PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, WAYNESBORO% PA. Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug ore." [Rule 29—tf. SD P., 12, A. INT 'l' , Has resumed the practice of Medicine. OFFICE---an the Walker Building 7 -near the Bowden House. Night calls should be made •at his residence on Main Street, ad joining the Western School House. July 20-tf f- SZTI77 - I.i'l r , 1/1" D., tiIYSICIAN AND .S.IIIIGFAN. 'WAYNESBORO ' PA, Office at his residence, nearly opposite lie Bowden House. Nov 2—tf. WAN A. SIVSSONG, ATTORNEY AT LAW, HAVING been admited to Practice Law 11. Lat the several Courts in Franklin Coun ty, all business entrusted to his care will be : roznptl attended to. Post Office addr• : ATTORNEY AT LAW, WAYN.ESBORO'; PA. Practices in the several Courts of Franklin •and adjacent Counties. N. B.—heal Estate leased and sold, and fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms. December 10, 1871. BR,. tk., 111., STRACKAERie (FORMERLY OF MERCERSBURG, PA.,) ®citizens his Profeisional services to the Itircitizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity. Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten sive practice at Mercersburg, where he has been prominently engaged for a number of years in the practice of his profession. He has opened an Office in Waynesboro', at the residence of George Besnre, Esq., Father-in-law, where he can be foam' at al , times when not professionally engaged. July 20, 1.871.-tf. .DR. J. M. RIPPLE. AR. A. S. BOICEBRAKE. .RID PLE.it BONBRATLE, VIVA.YICESBORO', PA. Having associated themselves in the prac tice of Medicine and Surgery, offer their ,professional services to the public. Office in the room on the . orth East 'Cm.. of the Diamond, formerly occupied by 'Dr. John J. Oeltig, dec'd. July 18, 1872—1 y • A. K. I3RANISHOLTS, .RESIDENT DENTIST - e'4ila-7 WAYNESBORO', PA., VAN be found in his office at all times, Kiwhere he is prepared to perform all Dental operations in the best and most skillful manlier. . . We being acquainted with Dr. Branis holtssocially and professionally recommend him to all desiring the services of a Dentist. Drs. E. A. HERING, " J. M. RIPPLE, " A. H. STRICKLER, " J. B. AMBERSON, " I. N SNIVELY, " A. S. BONERAKE, " T. D. FRENCH, C. 23 PHOTOGRAPHER, S. E. Corner of the Diamond, WA YNESBORO% PA., MS at all times a fine assortment of Pic -I.ll.tures Frames and Mouldings. Call and eas specimen pictures. June tf. 8A..12,23 - EJ - R.,IN - C3-I THE subscriber informs the public that he continues the Barbering business in the room next door to Mr. lleid's Grocery Store, and is at all, times prepare to do hair cut ting, shaving,s }lampooning etc. in the best style. The patronage of the public is respect- Tully solicited. Aug 23 1871 Wan HOTEL Cgrzter 9I fft Queen, Sts" CHAMBERSBURG, Penn'a. LA.NTZ & UNGER, Proprietors. The UNION has been entirely refited and re-furnished in every department, and under the supervision of the present pro prietors, no effort will be spared to deserve a liberal share of patronage: Their tables will be spread with the best the Market affords, and their Bar will always contain the choicest Liquors. The favor of the public solicited. Extensive Stabling and attentive Hostlers. Dec. 14—I-y L io] rcsi: THE subscribers would inform the pub lic that they have now for sale a good article of brick and will continue to have a supply on hand during the summer sea son. 13. F. tic H. C. FUNK. June 13—tf NOTICE TO BUILDERS. Afine lot Pine Building Lumber for sale and will be furnished in rough, or hew ed in proper sizes to suit purchasers of Bills. Apply at Morrsavr 6/1113190. April 4,1872--1 d er Annum if OP A YOUNG AMERICAN GIRL WHO COMMITTED SUICIDE, BY DROWNING IN LONDON. "I am far froni those who love me, In a bleak and barren world ; With a frowning sky above me, And hopes in ruin hurl'd I've not a friend to pity • And none to sympathize, Tho' in the teeming city Where thOusands meet my eyes, Fatherless and motherless, • ' Not a penny, nor a friend, Death is my only fontre s ss, Self-murder is-my end. The—dark-and-rolling-ocean Howls pitiless between Each scene of love's devotion, Aye! each familiar scene, I scan the stranger faces Which pdss me in the street, nd seek in vain for traces • For love I never meet. I am treading, slowly treading, With:low and bated breath The path inviting, leading Men to the bridge of death. And now I stand upon it And gaze into the water, Wondering if my mother Sees the ailguish of her daughter. Death is my only portion; Or lead a life of shame. Some years since on the second day of the Fair at Cleveland, when the bloods were trying their blood in the shape of fast horses, the fbllowing ludicrous inci dent occurred : The horse ring, which had been open during the afternoon for the use of such gentlemen as might wish to practice their horses, containing some six or seven fine horses, splendidly capar isoned, and attached to light sulkies, which had grown so excited• by the sport that the whole affair had become merged into r. spirited race. The contest was strong, and every horse was urged to his utmost speed. A vast crowd had collected fbr the purpose of enjoying the sport, and loud shouts attested their approbation of the favorite horses. Just about the height of the race, the rope that protected the entrance to the ring was lowered, and one of the ugliest looking specimens of the horse kind that I had ever seen entered. His driver, an old man with a short gray beard, was clothed iu a rusty suit of gray, with seal skin Cap, , and was seated in an old un painted sulky, with a bundle of straw be neath the seat, from which an old rusty umbrella protruded. At his very entrace he was greeted with shouts from the crowd, of "take him out!" "move him!" "wo-haw!" and other deris ive shouts, that showed him as setting out under the most unfavorable circumstances. Almost at the start he had been over taken by the finer horses, who had been the popular favorites, and as they came up to the old dun, the leaders of the race called out to the driver to get out of the way. W. A. PRICE After a few awkward efforts, he did try to do so, but it was after a manner little expected ; for the old horse shook his ears and began to strike out at an aw ful pace, and the blooded horses began to feel the need of trying their bottom. A way they went, and by the time they came around to the starting place, the old dun was considerably in advance. The fas ter he went the uglier he looked, and his gait was so awkward that the crowd roar ed with laughter. Away he went, and a way went the bloods in pursuit. The far ther the old dun went the uglier he look ed, and at every round he was greeted with cries of "Go it, old Claybank l" Old Claybank did go it, and the way he went was a "sin to Crockett." By the fifth or sixth round he had just gained the length of the track on his competitors, and came up in their rear like a canebrake on fire. The excitement was now intense, and the roaring and bellowing of the crowd almost deafening. The old dun never minded the crowd a whit, but held himself down to his work, and as he came around again, he had pass ed two of "his rivals, and was abreast of the third. Setect Vettrg. LIST WORDS. Shall last for Mother's name? • Cuge,-hear-m Ere I make the fatal leap Into the river, near me, Into everlasting sleep ; Forgive me, oh ! Forgive me, My present and my past, A deed that must outlive me In the life, aside I cast ; I have striven, vainly striven, To circumvent my fate, Yet none have power given To shun a certain state. Time taught me ever letter In the alphabet of woe; I feel it would be better, No matter where I go. My dizzy head is reeling With plenitude of pain. The stream behind me stealing That I cannot cross." • These were the words she uttered, As she leaped into the s river ; The waves a farwell muttered, And closed on her forever. ,;ftlistellautous Pading. Racing ExtraordLaary. A FAMILY NEWSPAPER-DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. ETC. WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, TA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14,1872. "Go it, old Claybank 1" shouted the spectators, and withoitt whip or word from his driVer, he came up to the scratch. By the time this round was finished there re mained but one horse ahead of him—a fine blooded gray—considered by all the best horse, in all points on the ground. As they reached the entrance, the two horses were abreast, and the gray, eyed his oppo nent with a sidling glance as he shambled along side ofhim. The old man now reach ed down behind him, and drew the um brella from the sheaf of straw beneatifthe seat, and to which it was fastened, and with a great flourish over his head brought it down on the hip bones of the old dun. It was hard to tell which rattled most, the old umbrella or the bones of old Clay bank ; but from that moment the race was at an end. The gray was left far be hind, and the old dun came up to the en trance at one of the most awkward, sham bling, and, yet swift paces I had ever seen, beating his rival a considerable distance, and presenting within himself the ugliest piece of horseflesh that_has_ever been seen_ in this section of country. It is needless to say that old Claybank was the favorite the balance of the day. Courtship is the last brilliant scene in the maiden life of a woman. It is, to her, a garden where no weeds mingle with the flowers, but all is love and beautiful to the senses. It is a dish of nightingales served up by moonlight to the mingled music of many tendernesses and gentle whisperings—and eagerness- that does not outstep th bounds of delicacy, and a se ries of flutterings, throbbings, high pulses, burning cheeks, and drooping lashes.— But, however delightful itmay be, court . . shi • is, nevertheless t e first turning pi woman, crow There is as much danger in the strength of love as in its °weakness. The kindled hOpe requires watching. The rose tints of affection dazzle and bewilder the imagination, and while al ways bearing in mind that life without love is a wilderness, it should not be over looked that true affection requires a solid support, discretion tempers passion, and it is precisely that quality which, oftener than'any other, is found absent in court ship. Young ladies in love, therefore, re quire wise counsellors. They should not trust too much to the impulses of the heart, nor be too easily captivated by a winning exterior. In the seledion 'of a husband, character should be considered more than appearance. Young men inclined to in temperate habits—even but slightly so— rarely make goood husbands to the end ; they have not sufficient moral stamina to enable them to resist temptation even in its incipient stages, and, being thus defi dent in self-respect, they cannot posseess that pure, uncontaminated feeling which alone capacitates a man for rightly appre ciating the tender and loving nature of a rue woman. The irreligious man is like a ship without a rudder, and he never can .make a good husband, for a house dark ened by cold skepticism or an indifference to religion and its duties is never a home —it is merely a shelter ; there is but lit tle warmth in the atmosphere of the rooms, and every object in them looks chill and chilling. The indolent man likewise can not be expected to make a good husband, for he neglects his time and wastes his es tate, allowing it to be overrun with this tles and brambles, and subsists on the in dustry of others. Every precaution, then, is necessary for the selection of a husband. "Died yesterday." Who died ? Per baps it was a gentle babe—one whose laugh was as the gush of summer rills loi tering in the bower of roses—whose little life was a perpetual litany, a May-time crowned with the passion of flowers that never fade. Or mayhap it was a youth, hopeful and generous, whose path was hemmed by flowers, with not a serpent I lurking underneath ; one whose soul pant ed for communion with the good and great, and reached forth with earnest struggle for the guerdon in the distance. But that heart is still now; he "died yesterday." "Died yesterday." A young girl, pure as the orange•ffowers that clasped her forehead, was stricken down as she stood at the alter; and from the dim aisle of the temple she was borne to the "garden of the slumberers." A tall, crowned man, girt with the halo of victory, and at the day's close, under his own vine and fig tree, fell to dust even as the anthem trem bled upon his lips; and he, too, was laid "where the rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep." An ancient patriarch, bowed with age and cares, even as he looked out up on the distant hills for the coming of the angel host, sank into a dreamless slum ber, and on his door-post is written, "Died yesterday.": "Died yesterday." Daily men, women and children are passing away, and hour ly, in some grave-yard, the soil is flung upon the dead. As often in the morn we find some flower that blushed sweetly in the sunset has withered up forever; so daily, when we rise from the bivouac to stand against our posts, we miss some brother soldier, whose cheery cry in the sieges and struggles of the post has been'as fire from Heaven upon our hearts. Each day some pearl drops from the jewel thread of friendship—some lyre to which we have been want to listen has been husded. But wise, is he who mourns not the pearl and music lost ; for life with him shall pass away gently, as an eastern shadow from the hills, and'death be a tri umph and gain. Laziness is a good deal like money— the more a man has of it the more he wants. Courtship. Died Yesterday. "Rot= 4 n Jonathan " The father of Return J. Meigs was born at Middletown, Conn.• In his youth he loved and addressed a fair Quakeress of Middletown, whose home was very near his own residence, but fbund much diffi culty in obtaining her hand, her objection resulting from secretarian bias. She re peatedly answered his protestions of fidelity and attachment with : "Nay, Jonathan ; I respect thee much, but cannot marry thee; for better dinner of herbs and contentment than a stalled ox and contention therewith." Mr. Meigs finally wearied with his pro fitless suit, and paid Ruth what he meant should be his last visit as a .lover. He held her hand and blessed her, and bay irg told her that he hoped in time the wound in his heart might be healed in happy alliadce with some other family, he spoke his "farewell." The kind and yet sorrowful word spoken with tender softnm, and with tearful eyes, fell upon her heart, with awakening power, and as -he wilted-to-his-saddle—to-ride-away,--the fair Quakeress, full of love and relenting beckoned to him with her hand, at the same time calling out— " Return, jonathan! Return, Jonathan!" To him they were the sweetest words that ever fell upon mortal ears. He re turned, and the day was speedily fixed for the celebration of their nuptials.— The first child born to them was a son, and the happy father, in commemoration of the blissful words which had bidden him into his earthly heaven, had him baptized and christened "Return Jona than." And the child thus curiously named grew up to an important manhood. Amcng the officers of the American rev olution he was one of the best and brave- the British at Sag Harbor he received the thanks of concirress and a sword. He was a warm nen , an supporter of 'res ident Jefferson, by whom he was appcint ed-Indian-agent of the Cherokee, among which people he passed the last of his well spent and useful life.—New York Ledger. Life* Echoes. "The Echoes of our lives are ever coming back upon us." "There's the echo rock," said Marsham; and, as he spoke, he flung a merry laugh across the meadows that lay between us and the elevation. "Not a tone lost," said we. "Send over that laugh again, bfats'ham." Again, at our word, went his wringing voice, cleaving the air like the notes of a bird. "The imitation is almost perfect," said we. "Let us try this echo with a differ ent sound." We sent a strong, cheery cry over the dreamy meadows, which was echoed back from afar, and re-echoed from the gray rocks that lifted their heads above us. Then the young man uttered a cry as of one suffering, and the cry came Back, only a little sadder in tone. He then uttered some harsh words sharp ly, and the harsh words were repeated in fierce impulses of sound. "Sing, IVlarsham," said one of the com- pang. "Marsham's clear voice sent forth tune ful cadence, full of emphasis and expres sion, and echo took up the strains, ming ling them in such harmony that it seem ed like one glad heart singing to another. "What a singular phenomenon 1" re marked one of the party. "Let it be our instructor." "Will you point the moral we ask ed. "Yes." "First, as the echo speaks to us, so the world will speak. If we speak to it cheer fully, it will reply in as cheerful a tone; if we address it angrily, it will reply in anger; if there is hope, and confidence, and good will in our voices, it, will reply hopefully in good will and confidence. "Second, "the echoes of our lives are ev er coming back upon us." Is it not, then, of vital moment in what voices our lives speak ? The echoes that come to us from the outside world are of small account to those that come from our inner life, to which we must listen when alone by our sel yes; These Voices do not die ; memory is continually sending them forth, awak ening echoes that fill our minds with glad ness or regret. These echoes are not such unsubstantial things as come back from the hills yonder. No, no, my dear young friends! "Third, if we live in cheerful obedience to the will of Providence, we shall speak to the world cheerfully, and it will an swer us back in a cheerful tone ; we shall seek the good of our neighbor, and our neighbor's voice will be pleasant to our ears. "And, lastly, let us so live that the ech oes of our lives will be sweet."—Youth's Companion. THE IN Ea LIFE.—One fruitful source of discontent, and one great bar of enjoy ment in this world, is the practice of com paring one's life with the life of others, utterly ignoring the fact that every per son has an inner as well as an outer life— or, in the old-fashioned words of the Bible, that "every heart knoweth its own .bitter ness." How often is the remark made by superficial observers, "Bow happy" such and such persons "must be ?" "If I were only they 1" 'When, ten to one, these very persons, oblivious of their wealth and po sition, are weary and heart-sore with the din and battle of life. . True courage is coot and calm. The bravest of men have the least of brutal, bullying insolence, and in the very time of danger are found the most serene and free. BURT RE IN A FREE LAND. The following beautiful and touching lines were written by Steven, one of the Harper's Ferry insurgents, a short time before his death : Make me a grave where you will, ln a lonely plain or on a lofty hill, Make it among earth's humblest graies, But not in a land where men are slaves. Leonid not rest, if around my grave, I heard the steps of a trembling slave, His shadow above my silent tomb, Would make it a place of fearful gloom. I could not sleep, if I heard the tread Of a coffie gang to the shambles led, And the mother's shriek of wild despair Rise like a curse on the trembling air. I eduld not rest, if I saw the lash, Drinking her blood at each fearful gash; If I saw her babes . torn from her breast Like•trembling doves, from the parent nest I'd shudder and start if I heard the ba Of a blood-hound seizing his human prey ; And 1 heard the captive plead in vain, As they hound afresh the galling chain. If I saw young girls, from the mother's arms, Bartered and sold for their youthful charms, My eyes Would flash with a mourful flame, My death;paled cheek grow red with shame. I'd sleep, dear friends, where blooded might Can rob no man of his dearest right; My rest shall be calm in any grave, Where none can call his brothet a slave. I ask no monument proud and high, • To arrest the gaze of passers-by ; All that my yearning spirit craves, la--bury me not in a land of slaves. •• HAELESTOWN AIL, A., March 15,1860. Ramantie-Stor • A. DRUG CLERK WEDS A WIDOW AND FORTUN Another of those interesting little ro mances in real life has just come to light in Washington. The bon-ton is in ecsta cies over it. A dapper-looking apotheca ry's clerk has succeeded in marrying a fortune of $2,000,000, and now he has gone West to spend it. The facts in the ease, as related to me this morning, are as follows : Six months ago a charming young la dy dressed elegantly and in the height of fashion, and representing herself to be the relict of a late prominent New York oil speculator, appeared in Washington, and took up her residence at the Arling ton Hotel. While at the Arlington she one day took occasion to procure an as sortment of perfumery, and in quest of that desirable acquisition of the toilet, called'at a drug store situated opposite the Treasury Department. Behind the showy counter waited an attractive clerk, a young gentleman of twenty-nine who was no sooner seen than conquered. The next day the relict of the late New York oil speculator invited the elegant drug clerk to a tete-a-tete at the Arlington. Thereafter occurs a blank, until the time of the Baltimore Convention, when Mr. Drug Clerk received a mysterious note from New York. He went to Bal timore, there he met the lady, was marled, remained throughout the Convention and quietly returned to Washington, to resign his clerkship and exist without visible means of support. The lady soon follow. ed him here, and again went to the Ar lington, where she resided some time, oc casionally receiving the fortunate h us band and loading him with presents of diamonds, rings, gold watches, &c., wind ing up by transferring t o him a whole business lot in San Francisco, with the business thereon, a very valuable piece of property, of which she herself holds a companion in New York. Next they started for Philadelphia, where the lady took a sudden notion to go %Veit, the on ly notification the ex-drug clerk's friends receiving of his intention being a tele gram couched in these words: "Shan't return. Can't avoid it. Am going to San Francisco." Yesterday a letter was received from the Pacific Slope, containing the infor mation that the young man had started a magnificent drug store at Golden Gate. The immense wealth which has fallen to his lot, together with the extraordinary manner of the match-making, and the beauty and high standing of the wife are the nine days' wonder. Our late drug 1 , clerk is of course a very stylish young man, and a very lucky young man. He was formerly a Captain in the army, Where it is reported he served with dis tinction, is well connected here, and has a good reputation in society.—Boston Trav eler. There was a man in the town where I was born who used to steal his firewood. He would get up on cold nights and go and take it from his neighbor's wood-pile. A. computation was made, and it was as certained that he spent more time and worked harder to get his. fuel than he would have had to if he had earned it in an honest way, and at ordinary - sages.— And this thief is a type of thousands of men who work a great deal harder to please the devil than they would have to to please God.—Er. Let us take care how we speak of those who have fallen on life's field. Help them up—not heap scorn upon them. We did not see the conflict. We do not know the SCATS. To understand the world is wiser than to condemn it, to study the world is bet. ter than to shun it; to use the world is nobler than to abuse it; to make the world better, levier and happier is the highest work of rum • An Old Story Retold. If any one believe that all the stories of the glorious old times of Jackson and Clay compaigne have been used up, he will find how easy it is to be mistaken.— Witness the following, which comes to us from Old Kentucky, by the way. of Lou isiana. Our entertaining friend begins: "You must know" (but we did not know) "that around and about the beau tiful city of Lexington, in the State of Kentucky, for a distance of twelve or fif teen miles, there lives—or did live, twen ty years ago—a great number or small farmers, who find in that city a ready market for the surplus produce of their farms, and there they carry it to sell, and buy nery and nick-nacks for their fami lies. One of these farmers, api or but in dustrious and fearless man, had a porker, a few bushels of meal, potatoes, beans, etc., which he wished to dispose of; and, bor rowing a horse and wagon, be packed up his things, and just at dusk set off for town. Arrived at one or two o'clock in the morn ing,-he-entered-the-market-house,—and-se-- lecting a stall, he split the dressed pig in to halves, and hung them on the stout hooks, , - and - with - a bag of meal for a pil low lay down to sleep till morning. He slept soundly and late, and when he awoke the market people were crowding in ; and lo ! one half of his pig had been unhooked and hooked, It was clean gone ! He made known his loss, and raving and swearing, he drew the whole crowd around him, As he grew warm with his wrath, he said : "I know the sort of man that stole that pork—l do!' "'Well, why not let it out, if you know, and we'll help to find him for you!' they cried out, in reply. • If • ; " W 11 : 1 1 • was ; he was a Clay man "As old Harry Clay livtd within a le-of—the market; and everyman was ready to go to the death for him, this sp_eeeLto_accuse_a_Clay_man- of stealing half a pig in Lexington, and they closed on him to give him a sound thrashing ; when one demanded of him what' made him think so. "`Why, no body but a Clay man would have done it; of he had been a Jackson man he would have gone the whole hog.' "This turned the tables. The humor of the robbed farmer was irresistable. The Lexingtonians carried him off to a coffee house to a hot breakfast and a morning spree; and after drinking to the health of Henry Clay, they made up his loss, and sent him home rejoicing." A Ventriloquist's/Joke. We recently took a walk on to the whai f with a friend who is a good ventril oquist. The hands on one of our steamers were engaged in rolling off a cask, when to the consternation and surprise of the persons engaged in performing that operation, a voice was heard within the cask. "Roll it - easy ; these plaguey nails hurt. I'd rather pay my passage than stand all this." , Holding up their heads, their visuals expanding to the size of two saucers, the two laborers exclaimed. "That beats the dickens !" The mate coining up at this moment and unaware of the cause of delay, com menced cursing them for their dilatori _ness, when from within the cask the voice came forth : "You're nobody; let me out of this cask.' "What's that?" said the mate. "Why, it's me,' said the voice; I want to get out; I won't stand this any longer." "Up end the cask,' said the mate. "Oh, don't ! You'll kill me," said the voice. "Oh how these nails prick Look out, don't! again said_ the cased-up indi vidual, as the men were turning it over. "Cooper," said the mate, "head that cask and take out that man." As the adz sundered the hoops, and the head was coming out, the voice again broke forth: "Be easy now ; is there any one about? I 'don't want to be caught." Quite a crowd had now gathered around the scene of action, when a loud gutteral laugh broke forth, which made our hair stand on end, and the cask was filled with bacon. "What does it mean," says one. "It beats my time," said the mate. We enjoyed the joke too well to 'blow' as we walked off arm in arm with the ventriloquist an magician. The Flea. When a flea, under a microscope, is made to appear as large as an elephant, we can see all the wondertbl parts of its formation, and are astonished t o fin d that it has a coat of armor much more complete than ever warrior wore, and com posed of strong, polished plates, fitted o ver each other, each plate covered like a tortoise-shell, and where they meet hun dreds of small quills project like those on the back of a porcupine or hedgehog.— There are the arched neck, the bright eyes, the transparent cases, pierces t o puncturelthe skin, a sucker to draw away the blood, six long-jointed legs, four of which are folded on the breast, all ready, at any moment, to be thrown out with tremendous force for that jump whic'a bothers one when they want to catch him, and at the end of each leg booked claws to enable him to cling on whatever he lights upon- A flea can jump a hundred times its own length, which is the same as if a man jumped five hundred feet: and he can draw a load two hundred times his own weight. They are saying all sorts of cruel things about the intelligent mosquito, but no one has as yet accused him of being fool enough ta fill a kerosene lamp while it is lighted. 82,00 PER YEAR Wit autt 4111111er. The married ladies of Hannibal have organized a "Come Home Husband Club.' Broomsticks figure among the induce ments to come. ."--", 4. Aeorrespondent of a Maine paper wants to know some remedy for striped hugs.-- We should suppose the remedy depended jer , much on what ails the bugs. rit is an actual fat that a man who at tempted to hug a beautiful young woman named Miss Lemon, has sued her fo r striking him in the eye. He is altogeth er unreasonable. Why should he squeeze a on unless he wants a punch ? A wag upon visiting a medical muse um was shown some dwarfs and other specimens of mortality, all preserved in alcohol. "Well," said he, "I never thought the dead could be in such spirits." A Breton peasant, on his way to Paris, stoped at a barber shop_in Rambouillet.— While the barber was strapping his ra zor,•the peasant . noticed a dog sitting near his chair staring at him fiercely - "What is the matter with the. dog ?" The barber answered with an unconcerned air, "That dog is always there. You see when I cut eau ear—" "Well he eats it." "I say Jim, what is the difference be tween the commencement and the begin ning of anything?" "I don't know," said Jim, `•what is it ?" "There ain't any," was the reply. see," replied Jim. "Now you tell • r -nule was A" _as : A mule was on one side of a riv er and some bay on the other, and the mule wanted to"get the hay without wet- mg is ee . 'ow 'II e oit "I don't know," said Jones; "I give it "So did the other mule," said Jim. MAY BE WORTH PrEstuvrna.—The Medical Home has the following receipts, which may be of value: A tea made of chestnut leaves, and drank in the place of water, will "cure the most obstinate case of dropsy in a few days. A tea made of ripe or dried whortle berries, and drank in the place of water, is a sure and speedy cure for a scrofulous difficulty, however bad. A tea made of peach leaves is a sure curd fbr a kidney difficulty. A plaster made of fresh slacked lime and fresh tar is a cure for a cancer, which with its roots, will soon'come out. Patrick, the Widow Maloney tells me that you have stolen one of the finest of her pigs. Is that correct or not?" your honor." "What have you done with it ? " "Killed it and ate it, yer honor." "Well, Patrick, Patrick when you are brought face to face with the widow and her pig on the judgment day, what ac count will you be able to give of yourself when the widow accuses you of stealing?" "Did you say the pig would be there, yer riverince ?" "To be sure I did." "Well, then, yer riverince, I'll say Mrs. Maloney, there's your pig." , Mark Twain has been troubled with a lightning-rod man, and to get rid of him addressed him as follows,: "Let us have peace ! Put up a hundred and fifty ! Put some on the kitchen I Put a dozen on the barn ! Put a couple on the cow ! Scatter them all over the persecuted place till it looks like a zinc-plated, spiral-twisted, sil ver-mounted cane-brake. Move! Use up all the material you can get your hands on, and when you run out of lightning rods put up ram rods, cam rods, stair rods, piston rods—anything that will pander to your dismal appearance for artificial scen ery', and bring respite to my raging brain and healing td my lacerated heart!" Teacher, in loud tones, "What is your name ?" Boy, in weak voice, "Johny Wells, sir." "How old are you, Johny Wells?" "Twelve years old, sir." "Now, John tell me who made this grand and glorious universe?" "Don't know, sir." • "What! twelve years old and don't know who made this noble sphert, I James Smith, go and cut me a whip." The birch is brought, and held over the trembling boy. "Now, tell me who made this great world •we live in?" In a tearful voice Johny answered: "I did, sir, but I won't do it again." There was a miser who was considered impregnable to charitable associations un til a Hibernian genius "came Paddy over him." Teddy went to his office one morn ing, and told a piteous story about losing - his pig, the only one he had. "Sure," says Teddy, "Mistbress (naming a very excellent lady, whose good opinion old Hard Fist was anxious to re tain,) "towld me to come to ye, for ye wor very rich, and gev a power of money to the poor, God bless you! I only want to raise enough to buy me another little slip of a pig. The miser couldn't resist the infulnce of Mrs. —, so lie gave Teddy a crown. A few days after he met him. "Well, Teddy," said he, "did you buy another pig?" "Troth, I did; and a fine one it is." "Then take better care of it than 'you did the other. What did the pig you lost die of?" "Die of!" said Teddy, raising his brows; "sure he didn't die—he was fit enough and I killed him"
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers