The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, June 06, 1872, Image 1

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Though tangled.hard life's knot may be,
And wearily we rue it,
The Aleut touch of Father Time
Some day will sure undo it.
Then, darling, wait ;
Nothing is late
In the light that shines forever.
We faint at heart. a friend is gone;
We weep, for• a grave is filling ;
We tremble at sorrows on every side,
At the myriad ways of killing.
Yet, after pH,
• If a sparrow fall,
!Our Lord keepeth count forever.
•Ha•lteepeth count. We come, we go,
We speculate, toil and falter;
;But the measure to each, of weal or woe,
,ciod only can give or alter.
',Then why not say, •
!Froth day to day,
Why- not take life with cheerful trust,
With faith in the strength of weakness
Doing the best we can to walk
With courage; yet with meekness,
Lifting the face
To catch ciod'sgrac:e,
That lights the soul forever.
For ever and ever, my darling, yes,
Goodness and love are undviwz •
Only the troubles and cares of earth
Are sure in the end to go flying.
Fleeting as bubbles
Are cares and troubles,
And now is a speck that tricks us ever,
'Till it floats and is lost in vast "Forev'er."
, i `itlistellauro4s A,`
'lmpossible!" exclaimed Morris Heston
starting from his iron desk. Impossible!'
he repeated—his litec growing very pat.:.
"It is true," was tile answer made by a
gentleman, who had come hurriedly into
the store of Mr. Heston. "I have the lICWS
from a reliable source."
"Failed !"
"Yes; and failed badly. It is alleged
that not ten cents on the dollar can possi
bly be realized. I hope that he don't owe
you much."
"Not a great deal 1" was,answered evas
ively, though with ill-conecaled anxiety,
"uud yet enough to sweep away nearly all
my profits on the year's business, should
the loss be total. Is he on your books ?"
"To a large amount ?"
"I thought he was sound to the core.--
The reports in regard to his standing have
always been A I\ O. 1."
"lie has been engaged, it is said, its
sonic land specuLttions, which have turn•
ed out disastrously. The old story of the
flog and the shadow. Well we must ex
pect such things, and meet them with us
much philosop.iy as can be summoned to
our aid. Good morning."
And the man went out as hurridly as
he came in. As he left the store Mr. lies
ton turned with a disturbed manner to his
ledger, and threw over the leaves nervous
ly. Pausing at au account, he footed up
rapidly. The penciled figures showing the
sum of four thousand eight hundred and
sixty-one dollars. There was credit by
bills receivable, of four thousand dollars:
three thousand five hundred of which had
been discounted, and would mature in less
than a month.
Morri,s Heston was a young man who
had been in business only two years. The
capital on which he commenced, was less
than two thousand dollars and the whole
.of this he had saved from his salary. He
was active, industrious and intelligent.—
But - in one thing he was indiscreet. And
that was in selling too largely to a single
customer. No wonder that he started and
turned pale on hearing bad news from his
customer ; for loss here was equivalent to
'ruin. Already the relation between re
.ceip t and payment was so close, that any
serious deficiency in the one or 'increase
in the other would prove a source of em
barrassment; and to have three or four
.discounted bills came back upon him in
tour weeks, would certainly cause him to
stop payment-
We need ndt picture the troubled events
which followed too sorely the confirmed
intelligence of that failure of this distant
customer. Heston was too weak to bear
the pressure that came upon him and so
he was forced to give way. A few of his
creditors, who had faith in his integrity
sand ability,would cheerfully have reduced
their claims and given him ample time on
the balance; but the majority who had
no personal interest in hini:,.and looked
only to themselves, acted upon the com—
mon adage current in such cases, that
"first loss is the best loss," and swept eve-.
rything, leaving the unhappy?, mortified
and dispirited young man without a dol
lar with which to begin in the world a—
gain—nay, even worse than this, leaving
him several thousand in debt; for in throw
ing his stock into auction, and fOrcing
collection, serious losses were inevitable.
Troubles rarely come alone. linother,
and to our young friend a sadder disaster
followed. He Was under engagement of
marriage and the time of its celebration
had beim _fixed. Froni the moment rumor
filled the air with reports of heavy losses
and danger of failure, he thought that be
could perceive a change in the manner of
his betrothed—the change seemed to grow
more apparent. At last it became neces
sary for him to tell her of his misfortune
and the blight which had come over his
worldly prospects. He had still faith in
her, still tried to deceive himself, notwith
standing the recent change in her manner.
She listened with a coldness of exterior
that chilled him to the heart; and sat in
it responsive silence.
Stung by this apparent - want of Rympa
thy, and bewildered by the conviction that
a new and heavier misfortune was about
to cloud the sky of his life, the young man
started up, and standing befbre the em
barrassed girl, said with much agitation
of tone and manner :
"Agnes ! how am I to understand this ?
Are you, too, only a summer friend ?"
Scarcely had the words passed from his
lips, ere she started to her feet, and glid
ed from the room.
• For the space of nearly ten minutes Hes
ton walked the floor of the apartment in
which he had been left alone, every mo
ment expecting the return of his betroth
ed, but she came not back. At the end
>fthis—period, he left the house i,t bo
wretched a state of mind, that fbr brief
season, he meditated self destruction. But
wiser thoughts restored him to better feel
throned idol of his affections ; but she re
fused to meet him and the idol was cast
down and broken into fragments at his
feet. It. was gilded clay, and not fine clay
as he had vainly believed.
The effects of this double misfortune was
altogether paralyzing. Heston fell in a
state of gloomy inaction. Friends urged
Min to look the world bravely in the. - lime
once more and ;begin again, with a stout
,the_baitip of life lint ninsv
"No—l have ;been marked once. Let
that suffice. 11.1 not ruu the risk of a
nother such disaster."
"She is unworthy of a thought," said one,
alludin ,, to the maiden who had proved
so meanly false to her vows, "and athou
sand times unworthy of a regret by so true
a. heart as yours."
"It is easy to say all that,"was answer
ed in a tone of bitterness. "But the heart
that once loves, loves on forever—loves
oven though the object of afrectien be
proved unworthy."
"Mere poet's talk," said the friend.—
"True love is only based on the percep
tion of qualities. You never truly loved
this girl; and time will prove my words.
Let her image pass from your thoughts
like breath from a mirror. Fling her
memory to the winds."
Little effect had all this on the mind of
Heston. He held himself aloof . from
friends and remained for nearly a year a
kind of solitary recluse, brooding over the
misfbrtune which had so early in his life
make his sky sunless. As a clerk on. a
moderate salary, lie went through this
monotonous round of duties, all interests
in the future seeming to have died out of
his heart.
At the end of a year there was a gay
wedding in the city; gay and imposing
enough to create a flutter in certain cir
cles. A young merchant who had started
in business at the same time frith Reston,
and being more successful,had tried anoth
er venture in life, even the doubtful one
had been false to her first lover, turning
heartlessly from him when the sunshine
left his path.
This had the effect to spur new life in
to the almost dormant energies of our
young friend, From that time he walk
ed abroad with a firmer tread, and a coun
tenance more elevated. • If his old light
heartedness did not return, he showed a
cheerful aspect, and something like a gen
ial side to his character. The true man
within him was moving with a new vital
ity, and throwing off the dead husks of
feeling, which closed around him closely
as cerements.
Ere another year had gone by, an offer
to commence business—or rather to be-,
come a partner in an old established house
—was accepted, and he started in business
once more, and moving with a steadier
step, and with surer prospects, And he
loved again loved deeply and far more
wisely—loved one, whose light of love of
him was an undying flame that no water
of misfortune could quench.
Morris Heston was all right with the World
again, and wiser and happier for the brief,
but desolate storm that had so sadly nrar
red the beautiful garden of his life, Pros
perity crowned his business eflbrts, and
love made his home a paradise.
Now and then he met on the street, or
in social parties, her who had played him
so falsely in hi•t darker hours, never with
out an•almost audible breathed utterance
of thanks for the misfortune which had
proved her quality. She was growing
yearly into a cold, flaunting, heartiest wo
man of the world ; but her once beautiful
face changing steadily, until, to eyes un
veiled by sensuality,it wore a repellant as
pect. To her husband's side she was rare
ly seen to move, on social occasions, with
au unconscious instinct, as if always un
pleasant to be near him ; but plainly pre
ferred any man's company to his.
"Thank God for misfortune !" said Hes
ton almost aloud, as he saw her turn from
her husband with scarcely concealed dis
gust, and crown another man with a
wreath of smiles, "To me it came a bles
sing in disguise'
4 was scarcely a month later, when
the husband of this weak, vain unprinci
pled Woman returned from his business
one evening to find his home desolate
and his babe worse than motherless. His
wife had abandmied all her sacred duties
and throwing love, honor and virtue to
mocking winds, cast her lot with a • fidse
wretch who lured ),ter from the true path,
only to fling her aside after, a brief sea
son as a worthless thing.
"Thank God for misfortune," exclaim
ed Mr. Heston, in the silence of his swell
ing heart. It came to him first from the
lips of his own true wife, who bad grown
daily dearer to him since the blessed hour
she had given him her heart and hand to
"Misfortune ? oh no," said he. "It
was not misfortune; but h blessing !
The sun vas still shining in the sky ; on
ly a few clouds hid me from his loving
Almost tearful (lid Morris Heston ga
ther his little children into his arms that
evening looking from them to their mo
ther with such loving glances, that half
wondering and half joyful, the happy
spouse felt a new delight swelling in her ,
heart, that gave a nelir beauty to her
"I bless God my dear Mary !" said
the young man, as she came to his side
drawn by the magnetism of his love, that
you are my wife, and the mother of my
precious babes."
Very softly that happy wife and mo
ther laid her lips upon the forehead of
her husband, the touch thrilling him to
his-inmos •• • .
Was it misfortune that clouded our
young friend's life ? No—no. Nor mis
fortune in the darker sense—the seeming
evil that was only, blessing in
fiso" to the rib The right
feeling, the right-hearted, do all dark
ness and dispensations of life prove them
selves blessings. Let us be patient, hope
ful, trusting, when the sky is overshadow
ed, nor tremble at the storm that seems
desolating the earth. The cloudy tem
pest is only a transient condition of na
ture;there is above . all the perpetual
To the right-minded there is no misfor
im •
The Cold-Water Boy.
Behold a table, with boiled turkey and
ham, with vegetables nicely cooked, and
and gravies rich and jucy. There sits a
father at its head and the mother oppo
site, and guests are seated on either side;
there is no lack of good humor and mer
ry just to give spice to conversation.
There are children, too ; a boy of ten
and a little girl of eight. They listen in
telligently and attentively to the remarks
of parents and guests, and look up into
the times of one another with interest.—
Behold ! decanters are brought in, glass
es are filled, and one another sip tke
sparkling. wine.
"Excellent !" exclaimed one smacking
his lips. "Fine !" echoed another.
"Shall I drink wine with you, my lad?"
asked one of the gentleman, bowing to
the boy.
"Is not your glass filled, William ?"
asked the titther. "John, fill William's
glass," turning to the servant. Slowly
did William turn up his glass to receive
the rosy liquor.
"Drink with the gentleman, my dear,"
wispered the mother encouragingly. The
boy blushed and cast down his eyes, but
he obeyed not. Was he frightened? Was
he deivident ?
"My son did you not hear Mr. Black
address you ?", said the father quickly
and sternly. "Drink wine with him
Accustomed to obey his father's slight
est wish, the boy's lip quivered, but he
obeyed not.
In a moment raising his eyes and look
ing his father full in the face, he said,
manfully, "Father lam a soldier in the
Cold-water Army, and I can't drink
"Brave boy ?" exclaimed one of the
gentleman, setting down his glass.
"The Cold-water Army must conquer
if every soldier stands his ground as
well," said another, regarding William
with great respect.
"We will excuse you my son," suid the
father in a softening voice, and though
they sat long at.the table, his glass was
not again raised . to his lips. There it
stood untasted and full.
Stand firm, my boys ; let no one beat
you from your ground. Be up and do
ing. Intemperance is stealing about,seek
ing .whom it may devour. Break his wea
pons, destroy his engines, give him. no
quarter. Let your motto be, "Cold-wa
ter ! Cold-water !"—Ladies Repository.
A boy about nine years old was bath
ing one day, when, by some mischance, he
got into deep water and began to sink.—
His elder brother saw him and ran to save
him, but kicking strength or skill,
so sank to the bottom of the river. As the
two drowning brothers rose to the surface
ibr the last time, they saw a third brother,
the youngest of the Emily, running down
the bank for the purpose of trying to save
them. Then it was that the dying nine
year-old acted the part of the hero. Strug
gling its he was with death, he gathered
all his strength, and cried to the brother
on the shore, `Don't come. You'll drown.'
, Noble little fellow! Though dying he
forgot himself, and thought only of his
father's grief: He was a genuine hero. His
brother obeyed his dying command, and
was spared to comfort his father when' his
two dead sons were taken front the river
clasped in each other's arms. •
Boys, you are not called to be heroes
in this way, but you are called to consid
er the feelings of your parents,and to study
how to avoid giving them pain. The best
way to do this is to love them dearly.—
Love will not only keep you from hurt
ing their feelings, but it will make you
sources of great joy to their hearts. E les
sed are those children whose words and
deep make sweet music in their parents'
Subscribe for the Rc:oNi.
A True Hero.
School Government.
Every teacher ought to make himself
perfectly familiar with the best method
of school government. To be able to
govern a school well is the only assurance
of success because a school that is not
well governed will always prove to be, a
failure. It is a known fact that many
young teachers make perfect failures at
their first attempt at teaching because
they do not have the ability to govern.
Every teacher that' expects to govern
well in the school room must possess the
ability to reduce to practical purposes his
theoretical knowledge of school govern
ment if he possess any. A teacher who
wishes to be successful in his profession
must learn to be a good disciplinarian.—
When a teacher takes charge of a school
one of the first duties to be attended to
after the permanent organization of the
school shall have been completed is to
study the disposition of every scholar and
to do this successfully it is necessary for
him to, understand human nature. It is
very important 'Or the teacher to have as
much knowledge of human nature as
possible so that he may know just how
to a , zoach each scholar in the right
way. I would here suggest to those who
intend to•cornmence teaching that there
is nothing like a good beginning,. there
fore try to make a invorable impression
on_yn, Qeholars_at_once One.of he ve,
ry best methods of governing a school is
to combine kindness with firmness. Nev
er be over anxious to indulge too much in
kindness unless you feel confident that
the scholars are disposed to reciprocate
your kindness and are willing to recog
nize your authority as a teacher and
strictly observe the rules and regulations
of the school. A teacher who knows
what constitute the true greatness and
dignity of his profusion will never re-
quire iiiT - Rifdents to observe too many
rules because the teacher who has many
rules will ! undoubtedly have many vio
lations of those rules. Teachers who de
sire to cultivate their professional emi
nence will endeavor to maintain at all
times good order in the school room. I
have found out by personal experience as
a teacher that one good rule is all that
is necessary to the success and prosperi
ty of any school. The rule by which ev
ery teacher ought to,govern his school is
"Do Bight." if this rule is carefully ob
served it will. be found sufficient for the
government of any school. Small pu
pils can very readily remember this rule
and can see at once that any violation of
it is wrong.
Why is it that some very efficient in
structors lose entire control over their
school ? The answer is because they can
not command the respect of the scholars,
lack firmness and are at a loss to know
what course to pursue when difficulties pre
sent themselves. To govern a school cred
itably requires all the shrewdness that any
teacher possesses. Pupils should never
be allowed to disobey the established rules
and regulations of the school no matter
what those rules and regulations may be
without being called ,to a strict account
for their conduct. An energetic teacher
that expects to distinguish himself in his
profession never thinks for one moment
that he can do so by acting the part of a
tyrant towards those under his instruc—
tion. One fine trait in the character of a
good teacher is that he is always lenient
and it is wise for him to be found on the
side of mercy. Whenever it becomes ne
cessary for a teacher to inflict punishment
in any way let it be done in moderation.
It is an exceedingly bad practice for a
teacher to punish while he is in a violent
passion bec4use much trouble generally
originate from such an evil practice.—
Those who hope to prove masters of the
profession as common school teachers must
base their hope of success upon a well ma
tured systeM of government. Good teach
ing cannot be done in a school in which
the government of the school is adminis
tered in a careless or indifferent manner.
Therefore to prove equal to our calling let
us as teachers strive to govern well, teach
scientifically ,and success and honor in the
profession will certainly follow as a rich
reward for our labor.
Monterey May 21, 1872 J. W. B.
SAVING MONEY.—There is, perhaps, no
one in this world more to be pitied than
the poor man—the man who has got into
the habit of Saving until he saves from
sheer delight in seeing his wealth increase,
and of counting every dollar of expendi
ture as though its loss was something that
could never be repaired. Yet it is the
duty of every poor man to save something.
The possession of a few dollars often makes
all the difference between happiness and
and misery, and no man, especially with
a family dependent upon him, can be tru
ly independent unless he has a few dollars
reserved for the time of need. While ex
treme carelessness as to the expenditure
of money will make a rich man poor, a
wise economy will almost as certainly
make a poor man rich, or at least make
him to . a considerable extent independent
of the caprice-of his employers and of the
common vicissitudes of life. Nothing is
more important to the poor man than the
habit of saving something; but his little
hoard will begin to grow at a rate which
will surpriseand gratify him. Every work
ingman ought to have an account in some
savings bank, and should add to it every
week during which he has full employ
ment, even if the addition is but a dollar
at a • time. If he does this he will soon
find the dollars growing into tens, and
in a little time will be in possession of a
sum which is constantly yielding an addi
tion to his income, which secures him a
resnve fund Nvhepeyer one is needed,
and which will enp.ble him to do many
things, which, without a little money, he
would be powerless. to do.—Piltsburgh
Remembrance hath a power sublime,
To clothe the past in heavenly light,
Until each scene of by-gone time
Grows 'neath its touch divinely bright
Like the optician's magic glass,
It magnifies the good we've known,
While o'er the ill which there might pass,
Oblivion's veiling cloud is thrown.
When he who roams some mountain land
Throws back his retrospective view,
lie only sees the peaks that stand,
By sunlight robbed in heavenly blue.
Each narrow glen, each steep ravine,
Ot ce to his aw-struck gaze revealed, -
By distance hid, no more are seen,
In deep'ning shadows dark concealed.
'Tis thus in life, by memory's power
Eaehjoy upon the soul's hnprest ;
While o'er each dark and gloomly hour,
Letharn shades in mercy rest.
Fashion and Her Whims.
Fashion has at length reached a point
Tn — ili'dathib — . at whiEh we rep . :Toie,
laws are not now simply for the mere ap•
parel. A foreign magazine has a discrip
tion of a dress which it says; "With this
costume the mouth is to be worn slig=htly
open." This is happy, for there are so
many women who do not know what to
do with their mouth, any more than tim
id young men know what to do with their
hands, and minute directions of this sort,
studied with every style of dress, will be
very convenient. It is to be hoped that
some costumes Will require the mouth to
be worn shut, for the effect in the street
would be anything but agreeable if every
lady went about with her xnetttLopert
o much depends upon expression, in com
bination with costume, that the subject is
worthy of study. The effect of the pret
tiest dress is often spoiled by a sour ex
pression of the face, and as expression is
simply-an affair of the muscles,it can be
prevented by the artistic dressmakers.
We are very anxious to see, by the way,
what women will be like when the worths
and other artists have finished with her.
She is already with her three story hat,
pannier built up like a dome, high heels
and a fascinating wiggle walk, a creation
of general interest, and if she "wears her
mouth slightly open" there will be no re
sisting her. If, now, she were to nearly
close her eyes and, if it is not irreverent,
"go it blind," we could suggest nothing
more. We should say, however, that these
flishions are not universal. The women
in Lancashire, England, are driven into
still stranger apparel. They often put on
the coarse cloths of the miner, and walk
at the mouth of the pit with pick and shov
el. They also engage in the heavy work
of the farm, and are employed on the ca
nal barges ; harness and lead the horses,
and take their tt:rn at the helm, and help
to load the vessel. These girls are rough
in manner and coarse in language, but
honest and industrious. They take their
pint of beer and enjoy their pipes, and
never grumble. The question of how to
wear the mouth has not yet got down to.
tion is naturly suggested whether our
moon, which is but 259,000 miles from us,
ought not to be examined for sign of life,
or, at least, of being fitted for the support
of life. When the telescope was first in
vented, it is certain that astronomers were
more hopeful of recognizing such signs in
the moon than in any other celestial body.
As telescopes of greater and greater pow
er were constructed, our satellite was
searched with a more and more eager
scrutiny. And many a long year elapsed
before astronomers would accept the con
clusion that the moon's surface is wholly
unfited for the support of any of those
forms of life with which we are familiar
upon the earth. They know that if our
satellite has an atmosphere at all, that at
mosphere must be so limited in extent
that no creature we are acquainted with
could live in it. They know she has no
oceans, seas, rivors, or lakes, neither clouds
nor rains, and that if she had, there would
be no winds to waft moisture from place
to place, or to cause the clouds to drop
fatness from the lunar fields. They know,
also, that the moon's surface is subjected
alternately to a cold far more intense
than that which binds our artic regions,
in everlasting frost, and to a heat com
pared with which the fierce noon of tropi
cal day is as the freshness of a spring morn
ing. They search only over the lunar disc
for the signs of volcanic action, feeling
well assured that no traces of the existence
of living creatuns will ever be detected
in the desolate orb..
trouble ; your feelings are injured, your
husband is unkind, your wife frets. your
home is not pleasant, your brethren do
not treat you just right, and things in
general move unpleasantly.
Well, what °fit?, Keep it to your
self. A smouldering fire can be found
and extinguished ; but when the coals
are scattered who can pick them up ?
Fire brands when together can be trod
deft under foot, but when tied to the tails
of Sampson's foxes it is difficult to tell
where they will burn.
Burry your sorrow. The place for
sad and disgusting things is under• the
ground. Charity- covereth a multitude
of sins. Things :thus covered ore often
cured without a scar; but when they are
once publihed, and confided to medling
friends, there is no end to the trouble
they may cause.
Keep it to yourself. Troubles are tran
sient and when sorrow is healed and past
what comfort is it to say, "No one ever
knew it until 01 was over with."
Tailris, g "Smart."
We all like to see young people, as
well as old, enjoying innocent happiness
and constantly learninff b something useful.
But it is said we are born with two eyes,
two ears, and only one tongue, so that we
should hear and see twice as much as we
talk." It will frequently be fbund, how
ever, that the wisest and best informed
are not those whose "limber tongues go
on in one weak, washy, everlasting flood"
of words._ Nor are they the most kind
hearted and desirable as companions, who
most indulge in sharp witticisms and sar
But it is particularly unpleasant to see
children and youth apparently studying
nothing so much as to repeat some slang
phrase, double meaning allusion, coarse
joke, or slurring, depreciating remark a
bout the absent. You may be pretty
sure they will say the
,same about pres
ent company when parted from it. They
love the scandal or the censure—they
court "the low laugh that speaks the va
cant mind," no matter against whom di
rected. They think they are doing some
thing great—smart."
Parents and other adults sometime ail
to repress this evil tendency, and thus in
crease it ; nay, they often smile or laugh
at the cute sayings, and boast that the
child is "smart as a whip." In truth,how
• • • ay-of-the-phrases-used-are-sue
as even poll-parrots can acquire—such as
the most ignorant and worthless people
can use as well as they—and are no sign
of anything promising in the child.
This forwardness grows to frowardness,
and is very apt to degenerate into the
roughness, vulgarity, profanity. To keep'
up the reputation i:.esinartness,"the child
or youth becomes . more ,and more violent
and extravagant in expression; longing
for-the applause lEeliii - s - lielore won, he
uses the most exceptionable language,and
often becomes at last a blackguard and a
brawling swearer.
In all times, and even among half-civi
lized people, respect for the age has been
held among the first of virtues. But the
giddy youth, thirsting for the praise he
has had, does not hesitate to make sport
of the aged, and launches his low wit at
their infirmities. He turns everything in
to ridicule—belittles every company by
silly remarks—and even sacred places and
occasions of sorrow do not prevent his ef
forts (at times somewhat secret) to raise a
Their own parents are not exempt. To
become a wit—a droll—a household fool
—a clown of any audience, demands con
stant draughts, sometimes from very shal
low fountains. To keep up reputations,
"the old man" or "the old women" has
to take share of their hits. They become
very independent, and scon come to de
spise those whom they ridicule, and per
haps at last utterly desert them. The
parents who looked approvingly upon a
child's impertinent rernaks, may say at
last, with all bitterness of sorrow : "A
foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."
But what becomes of such "smart chil
dren" as we sometimes see ill judging pa
rents rejoicing over? They are not so good
as to die young, as some of the best chil
dren do. All ! when they grow up it is
found that most of their childhood •and
youth leave nothing for after-growth.
They stored their heads away with fog and
froth only, and that evaporated soon, leav
ing a vacuum where should be stores of
knowledge. They were laughed at, when
young, for their smartness; they are pit'•
ed when old, for their stupidity. Thir
modest and unnoted companions in youth
grow up to respectability, to influence, to
honor, and sometimes to fame—never bril
liant, perhaps, but reliable and beloved.
To the you'rig, we say, cultivate polite
ness and modesty, Hear more than you
speak. Do not say anything about others
that you would not like to have said *-
bout yourself. This or that sham saying
may offend some one forever—may make
mischief—create prejudice—do no good,
but much evil. Say nothing you are un
willing any one should hear-nothing you
would regret on your deathbed. void
"slang" words, phrases, and immodest and
in.ofane allusions. Be pleasant, and make
others happy by innocent,harmless mirth
that leaves no sting or reproach behind
Well Wisher in _lndependent j Republican
A worthy deacon, in town not far from
here, gave notice, at a prayer meeting the
other night, of a church meeting to 'be
held immediately after; and unconscious
ly added : "There is no objection to the
female bretliern remaining!" This' — r - e!
minds us of a clergyman who told in his
sermon last Sunday of a very affecting
scene, wher?, "there wasn't a dry tear in
in the house!"
A negro passing along the street, was
astonished to hear a voice call out, "How
d'ye do, Massa Mungo? how d'ye do,
Snowball?" and, on looking, observed it
pro:ceded: from a parrott in a splendid
gilt cage. "Ah, nutssa Parrott," said
black-bee, "you great man here—you lib
in a gold house now; but me know your
fader very well, he lib in de bush."
A writer advises owners
. of Plum trees
to suspend in each, just after blossoming,
several corn cobs which have been thor
oughly soaked in sweetened water. He
says that the curculio insects prefer these
to the young fruit, and deposit their eggs
in them. They must be taken down and
burned when' the f'ruit ripens, by which
all the young insects will be destroyed.
This seems reasonable. Try it..
Rather corpulent old lady : "I should
like a ticket for the train." Booking
clerk (who thinks he will make a joke) :
"Yes'm ; will you go in a ,passenger train
or in the cattle train ?" Lady : - Well if
you are a specimen of what I shall ex
perience in the.passenger train, givb me
a ticket for the cattle train by all n:-..nus."
$2,00 PER .YEAR
-aait and ;Humor.
A middle-sized boy, writing a compo
sition oh "Extremes," remarked that "we
should endeavor to avoid extretnes, espec
ially those of wasps and bees."
More than seven million '•feeding bot
tles" are yearly sold sold in the 'Unit( d
States. So many mothers are 'unable tk)
newish their ol4ring.
A lecturer, addressing a Hampshire
audience, contended with tiresome prolix -
ity that art could not improve nature, un
til one of his hearers, losing all patience,
set the room in. a roar by asking—" How
would you look without your wig." •
Two Hibernians were passing a stable
which had a rooster on it for a weather
vane, when one addressed the other thus:
"Pat, what's the rason they didn't put a
hea up there instead of a rooster /" "Au,
sure," replied Pat "that's asy enough :
don't ye see it would be unconvanient to
go for the eggs ?"
An Irishwoman at a loss for a word
wentinto a drug-store, and, looking much
puzzled, said she had ccme for some med
icine, but the name had slipped her mind
"entirely" but sounded like "Paddy in
the guLrret."
The druggist willing to "make a sale,"
tried to think what it could be, and hit
upon Paragoric.
"Indade thin that's it," said she, ob
taining the 'medicine,' and going away de
lighted, that she had come su near the
"right woad."
The rich are; as .a, rule,, byno means.
the best paymasters.
Look thr real-comfbrts-in-the-Inames-o
the middle class.
A pleasant voice, pleasant manner; - ,
and pleasant dispositiou are as good as
gold to the possessor.
It is a •wise person who knows just
how long to make a cull or visit to be a
greeable to all parties..
Long stories to business people are not
The following story of John Smith of
California, and his son Virgil, is said to
be a "true bill." Smith had a very prom
ising young horse now for the first time
in training for the track, (that's definite
enough.) The otlfer day Virgil, a bright
little chap some ten years of age, was
speeding the colt around the track, and
was making the run in gallant style,
when the colt suddenly- shied and threw
the boy off.
The cause of this was a young porker
that had stowed himself in some brush
close by the track, a quiet spectator of
the colt's performance,
until the latter
got almost opposite to him, when, hog
like, he made a violent rush, with the re
sult mentioned. By the time his anx
ious father reached the ground the boy
was on his feet unhurt.
Said the father: "Virgil, you . don't
know how to ride a colt, to let a little pig
like that throw you otr. I don't want
the colt spoiled. I want him to go a
round the track, and I'll show you that
a pig can't prevent him." "I'll bet you,"
said Virgil, "he'll through you, too, if
the pig makes him jump like he did with
me." "No, he won't Virgil ; you cart
get in the brush there, and when I ride
him around you can grunt like a pig. I'll
show how it's done," said elder Smith.
Accordingly, the .colt was caught and
mounted by Smith the elder, the boy in
the meantime having taken his position
in the brush to play the role of pig, in
which he succeeded to perfection, for when
the sire after a rattling run, had reached
the proper place, he snorted liken young
grizzly, and tearing out of the brush
caused the panic-stricken colt to pile his
rider ingloriously in • the dust. Gather
ering himself up he said savagely
"What did you do that for ? I told you
to grunt like a little pig, not like a darn
ed old hog."
A Slight Mistake.
The following anecdote, which first ap
peared in the newspapers many years ago,
is said to have been founded on an actual
occurrence. Although it may not Will
trate the democratic simplicity of the peo
ple of Vermont to-day, it is nevertheless a.
good story, and good also for many years,
longer life in the newspapers: ,
"Hallo, you man vith a pail and frock,
can you inform me whether His Honor
the Governor of Vermont re:sides here ?"
said a British officer, as he brought his
fiery horse to a stand in front cf Governor
Crittenden's dweliiug.
"He does," was the response of the man,
still wending his way to a pig-sty.
"Is His Honor at home ?" cuatinued the
man of spurs.
"Most certainly," replied frock.
• "Take my horse by Itw bit, then," said
the officer. "1 have boAness to tranzact
with -your master."
Without a second bidding, the man did
as requested, nail the officer alighted and
made his way to tie door, and gave the
panel several hearty raps with the butt of
his whip—for be it kaown that in those
days of republican simplicity knockers ,
and bells, like servants were in hut little
use. The good dame answered the sum
mons in person ; and having seated the
officer and ascertained his desire to see the
Governor, departed to intim!' her husband
of the guest's arrivttl : but on aseertnining
that the officer had made a hitching-post.
of her husband, she immediately retartmdi
and intimated hint that the Governor wit§
engaged in the yard, and could not very
well wait upon him and his horse at the
same time! The predicant:Di of the offi
cer can 11,z , bztter imagined tbau. dest.-„ib,