The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, January 18, 1872, Image 1

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By. W. BLAIR. •
TERMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
• Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
VERTISEMENTS--One Square (10
lines) three insertions, $1,50; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
live Cents per Square. A liberal
discount made to yearly adver-
LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subsea uent insertions.
Vrofe s fisional lards.
Office at the Wa_nesboro'_"Curner Drug
- 6 to-r."
B. 8., _A_ N .- ,
Has resumed the practice of Medicine.
OFPICE—In the Walker Building—near
- The Bowden House. Night calls should be
'made at his residence on Main Street, ad
joining the Western School House.
July 20-tf
I. N. SNI - STMT_CY, 1/1" D.,
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
the Bowden House. Nov 2—tf.
H AVING been admited to Pray
at the several Courts in Frank.
ty, all business entrusted to his ea)
promptly attended to. Post .Offie(
Iderce rsburg, Pa.
- Will give prompt and close atten
business entrusted to his care. 0
door to the Bowden House, in th
..70_ A. STOUFFER,
. .
,41, ,'.4 ?
tl/4 •
V1 . 04 4-.4
Experienced in Dentistry, will insert you
sets of Teeth at prices to suit the times.
Feb. 16, 1871.
(Mummify OF Munctusnuno, PA.,)
OFFERS his Professional - .services to the
citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersburg, 1 ".
. prominently engaged fork ,
years in the practice of his profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
at the residence of George Besore, Esq., ais
Father-in-law, where he can be found at 1
times when not professionally engaged.
July 20, 1871.-tf.
- -
Can be found at all times at his office where
he is prepared. to insert teeth on the best
basis in use and at prices to suit the times.
eeth extracted, without pain by the use of
ntoroforra, eather, nitrous oxid egas or the
Ireezing process, in a manner surpassed by
We the undersigned being acquainted with
A.,K. Branisholts for the past year, an rec
ommend him to the public generally to be
a Dentist well qualified to perform all ope
rations belonging to Dentistry in the most
skillful manner.
sept 29tfl
c. _A.. S. wozF,
ter - Watches Repaired and Warranted.
.fierJewelry Made and Repaired:lEla
July 13, 1871.-tfi
DB A. 12, 33 12., I .19 - G- I
lINNE, subscriber informs the public that he
continues the Barbering business in the
ithoOin nest door to Mr. field's Grocery Store,
and is at all times prepared to do hair cut
ting,,shavitig,s hampooning etc.. in.the best
style. The patronage .of the publib is respect
fully solicited. • • • . , „ .
Aug 23 1871. A..PRIPE.
•411110 X. E RA. * 'llll - lElilit - tiVIE'.
- •
*IPICITY'S celebrated Cholera Med
icine prepared by DAVID M. HoovEn of
Ringgold; fd.; can be had during the zee
son at F. FoußrOAN'e Drug Store; and of
dealers generally. T-avellinq Agent,
July 21, '7l-6m I:IENEY MYERS.
iOHAD AND HERRING . —Mess. Shad and
Potamac Herrin in bbls: for sale by
c *ElEtt V etttg.
Backward, turn backward, oh Time in your
Make me a child again, just for to-night!
Mother come back from the echoless shore,
Take me again to your arms, as of yore ;
Kiss from my forehead the furrows of care,
noth tie "—^" threatis
Smooth thTfew silver threads out my hair;
Over my slumbers your loving watch keep,
Bock me to sleep, mother. rock me to sleep.
Backward, flow back Ward, tide of the years,
I am so weary of toil, and of tears :
Toil without recompence—tears all in vain,
Take them—and give me my childhood again
I have grown weary of dust and decay,
Weary of flinging soul-wealth away,
Wea . of sowing for others to rea
01 RR wnrszazi-pt-4-arnita•twntrinotr
Tired of the hollow, thebase, the untrue,
Mother, oh mother, my heart calls for you,
Many a summer the grass has grown green,
Blossomed and faded, our faces between
Yet, with yearning and passioriate pain,
Long I to-night for your presence again:
- Corn - e - fr - orn - the - silen - ce - e - o - long - and - so — deepr
Rock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep.
Over my heart in the days that are flown,
No love like mother's love ever has shown,
'ng, then, and unto my soul it shall seem,
Womanhood's years have been only a dream
Clasp to your heart in, loving embrace,
With your light lashes just sweeping my face
Never hereafter to wake or to weep, •
Rock me to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep
The sun is rising, o'er the lea,
On the brooklet, on the tree, '
Rests a glorious stream of light—
Rests a ray of crimson bright ;
Gene the shadows, dark and drear,
Speaks all nature, "Day is here!"
Breaks the morn—the shining day—
Fades the night's dark streaks of gray;
Nature rises from her couch,
Bids deep sleep in darkness' crouch;
Chantstthe sky-lark far and near,'.
Shrilly , . calls the chanticleer.
Froni.Ae mountain and the glen ;
From the forest and the fen,
Comes a cry, a song of glee,
Hums the brooklet merrily ; -
On the air, so bright and clear,.
Floats light music, "Day is here."
The burglars had been very active 'and
bold in their operations, but as the ther
mometer marked above the nineties for
several days,• and I had little of valne in
my room, 1 preferred to risk that little
and leave my window open,although easy
access, rather than undergo partial suffo
cation. If an uninvited guest made his
appearance and I did awake, I could feign
sleep and let him take 'whatever he might
"This class of visitors," I reasoned with
myself, "do not generally commit person
al violence if they can accomplish theft
and make good their escape without it."
These were my reflections every night
as I undressed and threw myself on my
bed, leaving my castle open to the enemy,
I had been asleep one night an hour, when
I was awakened by the falling of a small
china ornament. Starting slightly and
opening my eyes, I saw the gas burning
and a tall broad shouldered man with his
back turned toward me, his face looking
over his shoulder to see whether the noise
had awakened me. My self possession did
not, however, forsake me. What follow
ed illustrates the value of presence of
Opposite the side of the bed, and about
eight feet from it was the door of my room,
two or three feet from which was the stairs
leading to the hall. The burglar must
have used a ladder in ascending the roof,
from which he entered the window. It
was some thirty feet from the ground, and
isolated. My plan was only to escape my
self, but to effect his capture. I knew the
policeman's heat, and he would pass in a
short time. , •
Sitting bolt upright, -then as I opened
my eyes and saWthe burglar looking very
unpleasantly at me, said rubbing I nv
eyes • drowsily—althou'ghto. tell the truth,
I never was more wide awake in my life;
"Hello Jolla whafare' you looking' for?
Can't you come : into my room, without
making such a confounded noise?"
The felloir taken somewhat aback at
being addressed ia thja tvay; said in a low
but menacing voice, and pointing a revol
-ver la me :
• "Shut up I what do you take me for ?"
"I took you for John," I replied, with
a well-assumed nonchalance.
ArAnattr iitwsiketpzit-4)EvotTo To LUERATURE,LOqiut. AND 'GENERA:Ira NEIVirSi'ETC A .
• „. • .
"But I didn't iutipoie he was aftetany
thing valuable my , room, except one
thing; and—by:the way you 'are , ' the 'un
luckiest fellow in the wold."
'"How's that ?" growled
,my visitor.
"Well, I have a very good watch ; but
if you want to get it you must pay a visit
to the watch-Maker's after you leave here,
for I had what I considered the bad, but
what now seems the good fortune, to break
the spring yesterday, and left it for re
"You're a
evidently astonished at my indifference.
"What's the use of my getting excited
or attempting to resist you? ' .
You are armed, and'you see I am not.
And if you had no weapon, your own
fi l htin? wei:ht must be at least thirteen
stone, while mine is not more than. nine
and a half.
I 'have no idea of interfering with you.
If the room sere filled with diamonds I
would not lift m • finler to save them.—
ake a you can u n elam going - 16
sleep—so don't make any more noise.
"Hold ?" said the fellow, "where's your
keys ?"
"I suppose yon want to make as much
of a haul as you can," I said : "so look
in my pants hanging over the bedpoast
there and you'll find my pocketbook with
It was nearly time . for the policeman
to pass and I paused to listen. I must in.
a few moments put my plan into execu
A - rhtning showed me
:lance quick as l 4
key of thedoor was on theoutside.
listening expression did not escape
irp and practical ear of my grim
It was a curious scene, no doubt,
ig in my bed, in my night clothes,
- xi and this stalwart ruffian, pistol
1, glaring half-suspiciously, half
isly atme and almost in the crouch
tude of a tiger about to spring u
prey. But there I sat, eoolly con
; with him, the necessities of the
it keeping the wits too wide awake
Nir my fears to get the upper hand
sought I heard the cry of fire.
'n•an instant, and in the dead stillness
of the night, I heard the tramp of the po
liceman. It was stillsome distance ott:
"You will find," I said, "some clothes
of mine in the press ; they will, hoWeVer,
be too small for you. Good night : the
keys are in the middle drawer."
' He turned to the drawer indicated and
as he,did so, withone tremendous bound
I cleared the space behind my bed and
slammed the door and locked it upon him.
Oblivious of my dishabille, I sprung to
the steps. I had two flights to descend
and open the door before I could reach
the yard, but it was hardly possible fOr
him to descend the ladder more, quickly.
Bounding rather than running down stairs,
I flung back the bolt and dashed into the
yard. He was half Way down the ladder.
Shouting "Police !" lustily, I siezed the
ladder at the bottom, and using all my
power, brought it and the burglar to the
ground . with a crash. , The pistol he held
in his hand' fell from his grasp. I made
a dash for it and he springing to his feet
like, a cat, rushed at me and as I stooped,
he seized me by the back of the neck. I
turned the pistol upward and pulled the
aimed. It merely snapped—there were
no More charges in it. With a terrible
oath,the . ,buffled villian wrenched the wea
pon from my grasp and raised it aloft to
deal me what might have proved a ihtal
blow, when there was a rush behind him
and he was felled to the ground: The po
liceman had heard my shout, and was just
in time to rescue me.
The burglar was soon secured, and in
excitement I was about to relate the story
I have teld, when the policeman, with a
smile, suggested that I might "ketch cold
in them clothes."
I then remembered for the first time
since I had sprung from bed, that I was
shoeless and stoclongls and had nothing
on but my night shirt, and beat a hasty
retreat. With a long drawn breath I took
my fine gold repeater, which had such a
narrow escape, and was not at the watch
makers after all, from under my pillow,
looked at the hour, turned in, and after a
little while fell asleep.
It is almost needless to add that the a
bove story, narrated afterward to a jury,
had the effect of giving the visitor lodging
in a public institution, and secured me a
gainst a repetition of his call for at least
ten years.
One day a lad, apparently about nine
teen, presented himself before our ambas
sador at St. Petersburg. He was a pure
specimen of the genus. Yankee; with
sleeves too short for his bony arms, trow
sers half way up to his knees, and hands
playing with coppers and ten-penny nails .
in his pocket. He introduced himself by
saying, "I've just came out here to trade,
with a few Yankee notions and I want to
get sight of the Emperor.
"Why do you wish to see him ?"
"I'Ve brought him a present all the way
from s.meriky. I respect him considera
ble, and I want to get at him, to give it
to him with my own hands."
Mr. Dallas smiled as he answered :
"It is such a common thing, my lad,
to make crowned heads a present, expect
ing something handsome in return, that
I'm afraid the Emperor will consider, this
only a Yankee trick. What have you
"An acorn."
"An acorn ! Wlmt under the sun in
duced you to bring the Emperor of Rus
siaan acorn ?"
``Why, just before I sailed, mother and
I went on to Washington to see about a
pension ; and when we was there, Iro
recious cool One !" he said
,u listenino• to? asked the
thought We'd just step over to Mount Ver
non. I picked up this acorn there, and I
thought to myself I'd bring it to the Em
peror. Thinks, says I, he must, have
heard a considerable deal about our Gen
eral Washington, and I expect he must
admire our institutions. So now you see
I've brought it and I want to get at him."
"My lid, it's not a easy matter for a
stranger toapproach an Emperor, and I
am afraid-lie will take no notice of your
present. You had better keep it."
"I tell ou_ wand to have a talk with
him. I expect Can tell him a thing or
two about Ameriky. I guess he'd like
mighty well to hear about our railroads,
and our free schools, and. what a big swell
our steamers cut : and when he hears ho*
well our people_axe_getting
will put him up to doing something. The
long and short on't is, Ishan't be easy till
I get a talk with the Emperor; and. I
shall like to see his wife and, children. I
_want to see how such folks brie: ._ u
"Well, sir, since you are determined u
pon it, I will do what I can for you ; but
you must expect to be disappointed.—
Though it will be rather an unusual pro
ceeding, I would advise you to call on the
Vice Chancellor and state your wishes ;
he may possibly assist you."
"Well,-that's-all-1 - want of you. -
will call again, and let you, know how I
get on."
In two or three days he again appeared,
and - said, "Well, I've seen the Emperor,
and had a talk with him. He's a real
gentleman,.l. can tell you. When I give
him the acorn,he said he would set a great
store by It , that there was no character
in ancient or modern history he admired
as much as he did our Washington. Hd
said he'd plant it in his palace garden
with his own hand ; and he did do it, for
I see him with my own eyes ; He wanted
to ask me so much about our schools and
.railroads, and one thing or another, that
he invited me to come again and see his
daughters ; for he said his wife could speak
better English than he could. So I went
again yesterday ; and she's a fine, know
rig woman,LtelLy_on ; a • d_her_daughte
are nice gals."
"What did the Empress say to you ?"
"Oh, she asked a might of questions.—
Don't you think, she thought we had no
servants in Ameriky ! I• told her poor
folks did their own work, but rich folks
had plenty of servants."
"But then you don't call'em servants,"
said she, "you call'em help."
"I guess ma'am you've been reading
Mrs. Trollope," says I, "We had that e'er
book aboard our ship."
The Emperor clapped his hands and
laughed as if he'd kill himself. "You're
right," said he, "you are right; we sent
for an English copy, and she's been read
ing it this very morning !"
"Then. I. told him all I knew about our
country, and he was mightilypleased.—
He wanted to know how long I expected
to stay in these parts. I told him Id'e
sold all the notions I brought with me,
and I guessed Mould go hack in the
same ship: I bid 'emgood-bye, all around
and went about my business. Ain't I
had a glorious time? I expect you did
not calculate to see me run such a rig ?"
"No indeed I did not my lad. You
may well consider yourself lucky; for it's
a very uncommon thing for crowned
heads to treat a stranger with so much
A few days after, he called again and
said: - e •
I guess I shall stay a spell longer; I
am treated so well. 'Tether day a grand
officer came twmy room and told me the
Emporer had sent him •to show 'me all
the curiosities; and I dressed myself, and
he took me with him in a mighty tine
carriage, with four horses; and I have
been to the theatre and museum; and I
expect I have seen about all there is to
be seen in St. Petersburg. What do you
think of that, Mr. Dallas?"
It seems so increditable that a poor,
ungainly Yankee lad should b o thus
loaded with attentions, that the ambassa
dor scarcely knew what to think or to
In a short time his strange visitor re
appeared. "Well," said he, "I made
up my mind to go home, so I went to
thank the Emperor, and bid him good
bye. I thought I couldn't do no
he'd been so civil. Says he, is there any
thing else you'd like to see before you go
back to America?" I told him I should
like to get a peep at Moscow, for I'd
heard considerable about the're setting
fire to the Kremlin, and I'd read a deal
about General Bonapart; But it would
cost a sight o' money to go there, and I
wanted to carry my earnings to my moth
er. So I bid him good-bye and came off.
Now what do you guess he did next morn
ing? I vow he sent the same man, in
regimentals to carry me to Moscow in one
of his own carriages, and bring me back
again when I've seen aILA wart to see !---
And we're gOink to-morrow morning, Mr.
Dallas. What do you' think of that.
And sure-enough evening the
Yankee. boy , passed the Ambassador's
house in a splendid coach and four, wa
ving his handkerchief and shouting,
"Good-bye ! Good-bye 1"
Mr Dallas afterwards•learned from the
Emperor that all the particulars related
by this adventurous youth were strictly
true. He again heard from him at Mos
cow; waited upon by the public officers,
and treated with as much attention as is
usually bestowed on Ambassadors.—
Now, who but a yankee could ha v e
done all that ? •
A southern editor is bitterly opposed to
the education of women as surgeons. Sup
pose, he says, a gentleman were put un
der the influence of chloroform by such a
doctress—what is to prevent the woman
from kissing him ?
Y, JANUAIIir 18, 1872.
Died of Whisky. E '
If e.pitaphs"alifa_is tolcythe whole truth
these'vords ' woad' cut ou - Many, a
tombstone. Not only on the • rough.
stones that mark the graves of the hum
ble and the poor, but also 'on . "-the` Mat
ble monuments that rise above the: dust
of the children of wealth and genius,
would appear the words, 'Died of Whisky!'
tlow sad and disgraceful the record!—
What volumes are condensed into three
words ! Read them, ponder them, be
warned by them. They will give you.
food for thought. They tell of charac
ter ruined; money sqandeted, families beg
gared, hopes crushed, the mind besotted
and soul lost. They will recall sad mem•
ories in the life of every reader. There
through twenty and . call up the face of
some friend or acquaintance of whom he
must say, "He died of whisky.',
Not that the kind and considerate phy-
of the deseased so admitted, but still the
sober, candid conclusion of disinterested
parties, and interested ones, if they would
utter their honest thoughts, is, "He died
• Whisky."
Now, reader, recall the past, and sec
how many start up at memories bidding
to attest this fact. Young men of fine
talents and brilliant promise ; men of ma
ture years and the best capacity for pro
fessional or practicali business ; old men,
whose last years grew darker and more
sorrowful as they hastened to complete
-their—epitaph—Died--of--whisky;- - these
from all the classes, swell the great army
of victims to the insatiate demon in the
bottle. The warnings are abundant and
and impressive against a death by whis
Knowing, then, all the evil that whis
ky has done, and all the evil that it is
now doing, in churches and out of church
can any man who loves his race refuse to
take up arms against such a foe?—Rich
mond Advocute.
A Nice Little Story•.
As pleasant a little story as was ever
-told-is-this-regarding au Albany physi
cian, by a correspondent of the Port Jef
ferson Independent Press, writing from
New Haven :—An aged• widow in Mas
sachusetts received a telegrm athat her on
ly son was dying at Lawrence, Kansas.—
Notwithstany her extreme age and \ fee
ble health she must see her son. She un
dertook the journey. 'The train was de
layed. When it arrived at Utica she
was taken violently ill. A yoUng phy
sician assisted her to a hotel, and provid
ed every thing he could for her comfort.
Her detention by sickncis and moderate
means would not have allowed ' her; to
pursue her journey, but. for the kindness
of the attending stranger. He paid her
bills, assisted her to the cars, and accom
panied her to Buffalo.
At - patina. b she requests his address.—
Two , monthslatter this stranger was seat
ed in his office at Albany. A stranger
entered, and with soine conversation pre
iented the doctor 'with a Government
Bond of $5OO, as a reward for his kind.-
ness to the old lady, paying,, !‘She was my
mother." She died.a..fewdays aftr reaCh
ing me, and I recovered. Had it not
been for your kindness she would have
died on the road. I am her , son Who
was sick.. 'I am a banker; but money
can never repay the debt I owe to you
for your generous kindness to my dear,
good mother. God bless you!' May
God bless and the world 'applaud such no
ble act of benevolence Dr. D. T. Croth
era, of Albany, bestowed on this occasion,
and which the old lady's son so richly re
Home Life.
One marked difference between the,an
imate and inanimate object consists' in
the need of the former for a home. Most
of all is this necessity manifested in , ithe
human race ; and greater the civilization,
the more tenacious is the clinging to home
and the more profuse are the means
brought to bear to perfect its arrange..
If this need of home be so inherent hi
our natures, and so important to our wel
fare, it becomes the duty of all to see :to
it that they contribute their share to, its
establishment and perpetuation: Thia
obligation, in some .of its many forms,
rests upon every one. The • father. who
maintains the lousehold, the mother )vho
directs it. the children who - are' its ley,
are Call active and responsible -agents in
making home the centre of their truest
life, the birthplaceof noble aspirations
and generous affection's, and the spot' to
which the memory of future. years will
cling most fondly. _
The conception. c i f the felipity possible
to be reAliza4 , by true home,life falls usu
rally far short of a true standar i d.' The
means of heftiness within -tlio reach of
every household are greater... Clan .they
are an are of, and liomore - closely within
their reach. Riches may purchase inx
uries, but never can buy the sweet con
tent and satisfaction that -flow ~over the
humblest household where Affection and
order reign supreme. Let us, then, 'Cher
ish our homes as our most sacred-treas
ures. •
Many persons seem to think that a church
is the grand emporiam of, "art and.lash
ion," w•h re the milliner, dress maker and
tailor each exhibit his or her skill, on hu
man dummies, said to be got up in the
image of their Creator!
It is an exploded theory that• women
dress to please the men. They dress to
please or spite each other. 'Any . girl of
sense and experience knows that it is
just as easy to break a man's heart in a
two dollar muslin, neatly made up, as it
is in a five hundred dollar silk costume
made by a man milliner.
much wiser we w. Id .be if we could . re
member all the th '; worth remember
ring 'that occur da) day all around us.
And how much be • r We would , be if we
could' forget all tha is worth forgetting.
It is almost frightfu nd altogether hu
miliating to think h. much there is in
the common on-going domestic and so
cial life' which deserve. . othing but to be
instantly and forever rgotten. Yet it
is equally amazing how rge a class who
have no other business bu to repeat and
perpetuate these very things. This is
the vocation of gossips—an order ofsocie
tY that perpetrates more 3:11 ,chief than-all
the combined plagues of Egypt put to
gether. Blessed is that man or woman
who can lot dmp all th - e - hurrs and this
tles, instead of picking them up and fas
tening on to the ipassenger. Would we
let the vexing and malicious sayings die,
how fast the lacerated and scandal-ridden
Forget the gossipings and bickering', the
backings and sneaking inuendoes, aryl re
member only The little gleam ofsunsline
and poetry that can illuminate the hum
blest life, if we only drive awt►y and foLi
get the clouds engendered by things that
should never be remembered.
Durina . '' a recent trial in Greencasile,
JudgcEckles sought to annoy a fine Old
gentleman named Janies Ingle, who was
on the witness stand, by asking him some
questions. -- He - came out second best, as
the following will show:
Eckles—"Mr. Ingle arn't you a preach
Ingle—Yes Judge, it sort of one. Well,
about such a one as you used to be.
Judge Eckles at one periou of his life
was a preacher, and this hit of course
brought down the house. He was not
willing to give it up so, and tried it a
Eckles—"What do you do for a liveli
hood, brother Ingle?"
Ingle—"l sell shingles, lathes and
— Eb - kles—"you sell sa.
Eekels—"Now, tell us brother Ingles,
don't you sometimes sell salt to your cus
tomers that isn't good ?"
Ingle—"No. Jude, I don't. The salt
I sell is good, but I. have never sold any
strong enough to save you."
The house roared.
lowing, which known as "Maher Ship
ton's Prophesy," Was 'first ' . Published in
1488, and republished 1614. It will be
noticed, that all, the events predicted, in it,
except that, mentioned in the last two lines
—which' is still in the future—haVe alrea
dy 'come to pass :
ttifriikei horses 'shall gki,
-Arid accidents fill , the World with woe
- Around thcworld:thoughts shall fly
Jri : the twirddlpg of an eye.
, Waters,sball ye more wonders d 0,;,,
Now strange, yot . ,sliall pii? r ,
" ' 'The W6rld'uPdide'do*n*shall be, •
Arid gold be'foind i'dot of tree.
• 'Through , hills rrien shall ride,
And asshe at his side.
:Under. water men shall walk ;
, Shall tide, shall sleep, shall talk;
In the dir men shall be seen;,.,..
Tit white, in black, in green.
Iron in the waters shall float,
As easy as_a wooden:beat. *
Gold shall be foind end fonnd„,i-,
In a lased that' i sinot known.
Fire and water shall wonders do,
Engiand shall• at last admit a Jew.
The world 'to an' end shall tome
In eighteen hnridred and-eighty-one.
BODIES.—'The moon•is cur
nearest celeitial acquaintance, but it has
the stire'distande of two hundred' and thir
ty-seventhousand miles. Great as is the
space- between_ the earth and moon, the
sun could not pass through it
•; but still
perhaps a still better idea•of the sun can
be 'obtained trent "the fact that if it should
be entirely hollowed' out and the earth
placed in the centre, there would still be
roomier the moon's entire path and an
=occupied, space of 204,000 miles in di
itmeter all round,=--for the diameter oldie
thin is 882,000 miles! No wonder _David
exclahned, "When I consider-the heavens,
the work of thy. lands, and:the moon and
the stars which thou „hest made,Lord,
what is man tnt - ..ttiott Visite:Stlin !"
•.. A Nrw TELtaity,,—A 'preacher who
used to bold_fourth to outdoor audiences,
Yiils,pfeachipg once from. a text Which bad
some bearma Oh - the Day id ;and Goliath
combat. - The-old - fell - OW' (the preacher
wo4nean,) had some quaint ideas 'of his
.own,,and wasn't- afraid to speak them
out. Alluding to the, probable cause of
David's heroic conduct, and his, readiness
to engage - in mifirtat combat with the ji;
Ant; he said: "Now, my hearers, what
do you suppose was-the reason- that David
: was,ao. mighty to go out and fight
.Goliath? Wasit.because , he had relig
iOn in Wm? Was it because he
Wanted to do' good generally ? No. I'll
tell you What 'he done it for, but there's
no use of anbpdy's denying it. He was
struck after one of Saul's gab!"
Good manners are sure to procure fe.s.
This i 3 a good stop. chew4ng to•
A farmer saw an advertised Acelpt to
prevent wells ar d cisterns 'Tr*, 1ree41131,••
He sent his money, .and 't4OiV„dtl,th6 - ans.
wer '"Take in your well or.` s iistern on
cold nights and keep it bythe'lltfr." •
Subscribe for the Recorcl. : /: •
' ,;
When does It man have to keep his
word ? When no one will take it.
Go to strangers for charity, acquain
tances for advice, relatives for nothing.
iAcorn extracter that has never been
patented—the crow.
Then'a no harm in a glass of whisky--
if you allow it to remain in the g1a55;.....„--,
The three great conquerers of the world
are Fashion, Love and Death.
7'Vh‘at did Adam first plant in the Gar
den of Edeu? His foot.
Josh Billings says that opera music
don't have any more affect on 'him than
castor oil would on a graven image.
When a man gets so low that he will
not even borrow trouble, his case is des.
. erste. _
flower of youth never appears so
beautiful as when it bends toward the Sun
of sighteousness.
:acry l l
her rin
The litest device for "braking up" a
sitting lien is to.put u couple of lumps of
ice in the nest.
. .
"I\ hat is home without a mother? as
the young girl sent the old. lady to chop
. ..
......._ wood.
Why is an -umbrella in wet wheather
liken-worn-out horse? -Because - it - is - used
V -ming-men-anxious-to - get - rid - of - t ,-."• •
wild oats, will do well to get a sewing
machine. Those covered with calico aro
the befit. , . .
What is thg difference between a fool
and a looking-glass ?—one speaks without
reflecting, and the other reflects without
. speaking. ' -
A man who hzis .traveled through New
Jersy sa,ys'he saw someland there so poor
that you couldn't raise a disturbance on
A San :Francisco girl recently under
took the arcenic treatment for procuring
a clear andbeautifulcomplexion she took-,
ed white enough in her, coffin.
A clergyman named Fidcile "respect
fully decliners" the degree of. D. D.,,be
cause, as he said, be really aidi not *ish
to be knpwn as.the Rev. Fiddle D. D.
A riddle which ought never`to have
been'printed- - Why. are engaged ladies
like old boots? Because they are no good
without their fellows. '
A young lad Whb Wassailed as a `wit=
ness,Wll9. asked if he knew . the nature of
an oath,' and where .he would go if h;0 told
a, lie. He said that he supposed he should,
go where all the lawyers went.
A colorci).. preaChWi,AniFicOursipg to
his people on the . eft any - of earnest pray
er, delivered-himself in this mannerb r .".l
tell you bredren; 'tia prayer what gibs de
debil de:lockjaw.", ,
Kitchen - glilh are now' called "young
ladies of the lower -parler. People who
grind scissors; knives and razors are term
ed "gentleman of the revolution,' and
folks who dig clams are called "profound
Scene in the cars: A Candy-boy, pass
ing through a car, meets a cross old gen
tleman, and says "Pop-corn'pop-corn
"Hain't got no teeth;',, angrily replies the
nian. "Gum-dropi I gum-drotn calla
the smart bow.. '
This is not bad ' fur a Long Island
newspaper: "A',.Southampton maiden lady
has just completed the knitting of a stock
ing which her mother began before her
marriage, sixty years,ago, and it is not a
bad stocking, not by a darned sight.—
It must be a long leg-I-see; perhaps it
was the work of an heirloom;-'
There is a sharp rivalry just: now in
Alabama among the different guano deal
ers. One of them, by way of showing.
thouperiority of his guano over any oth
er, says that a farmer recently put a sam
ple of it in his pocket, in which- there hap
pened to be a carpet tack, and start
ed home on horse-back. gefore reaching
his house, his steed broke down,' and the
farmer Was at ti "low to • discover the
cartse,tmtil he found • that the Carpet tack
had grown to . be &, long. bar, of. railway
iron": • , , . •
A man out )Vest read that dry cop
perds putinte a bed of ants would - cause
them to leave, and- he thtiught he would
some on his mother-in-laves bed, and
see f she wouldn't go. It didn't affect
th old lady in the least. -At last ac
unts she ocouraed the best bed in the
house, and "bossed" the whole family.—
Ho thinks neat time bell try 'whether
three or fonr pounds 'of nitro-glycerine
won't move the old woman a peg or two
"What is home without a mother? An
the young girl said when she sent the old
lady to chop some wood,"
$2,00 PER YEAR
Mit and (Varner.
The"vvorld in arms—the babies.
, , y is a leaky barrel like a cowar:rt"
strongest kind of a hint—a young
:king a gentleman to see if one, of
I:.s would go on his little finger.