The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, January 04, 1872, Image 1

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    BY W. Bid&
THE I'irlYNtSllollo Ifittga. RECOU
TEI Dollars per Annuni if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year;
lines) three insertions, $1,50 ; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
five Cents per Square. A. liberal
discount made to yearly adver
• tisers.
LOCATS.,—Business Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subsequent insertions.
rof,tmionat (xds,
J. B. AMBER,SON,, N. D.,
Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug
tore." [jane 29—tf.
1:)-121- Z ,
Has resumed the practice of Medicine.
L ? •
_n the Walker Building—near
;the -Bowden House. bight ea& sou,,—
made at his residence on Main Street, ad
. joining the Western School House.
""" - -.SN'ENTMI_J -c 1", NI- M.,
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
the Bowden House. - Nov 2—tf.
1101 A 1 A. Id VVIONG,
111-I=A—V-ING_lyvn %limited to Practice law
at the several Courts in Franklin — C6iiii=
--ty,_all business entrusted to his care will be li
promptly attended to. Post °Rice address
Alercersburg, Pa. '
— Will give proznp ant e. 7 .--- -• "7" 1 .
Inisines entrusted to his care. Office next
door to the Bowden House, in the Walker
Building. [July
Practices in the several Courts of Franl tin
and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Real Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
ID.. S'1 1 0T.TP.PER,
• •
Experienced in Dentistry, will insert you
sets of Teeth at prices to suit the thues.
Feb. its; 1871.
RJR, /Li til, STRICKLEttv
FFERS his Professional services to the
Nficitizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersbure ' , 1 : - ‘
been prominently engagedfbr
years in the practice of his. profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
at the residence of Uearge Besare, Esq., cis
Father-in-law, where he can be found at 1
times when not professionally engaged.
July 20,1871.—tf.'
1, 4 4,10 7 4 .
Can be found at all times at : hi:J(3lllm where
he is prepared to insert teeth on the best
basis in use and at prices tO - suit the times.
eeth extractektrithoat
,pain by the use of
nioroform, eather, nitrous °sin eggs or the
ireezing process, in a manner surpassed by
We the undersigned being acquainted with
A. K. Bra nisholts for the past year, can rec
ommend him to the public generally to be
a Dentist well qualified to perform all ope
rations belonging to Dentistry in the most
skillful manlier.
J. J. OELLIti, A. S. 130NBRAKE,
•sept 29tfj
C. A.: S.. 7N-0-Ll7l,
WA T CHEW A.ND Jr E.' WE'4.ip Ya
Dr"rlVatel,i es Repaired and Warranted. 6l
ilad.e and h'epaired. - Egt
July 13,1371.-t£
rpHE subscriber informs the public that he
continues the - Barbering business in the
room nest door to Mr. lleid's Grocery Store,
and is at all times prepared to do hair cut
shaving,,s harnpooning etc. in the best
style. The patronage of the publicis respect
fully solicited.
Aug 23 1871.
DR. wicKErs celebrated Cholera Med
icine prepared by DXV/D HOOVER of
Ringgold, Md., can be had during the sea
son at F. FOURTII3LAN'S Drug Store, and of
dealers generally. 7 1 4%u:ening Agent,
July 27,'71-Gin HENRY NITERs.
.HAD AND HERRING.—Mess. Shad and
SEe.tornae Herrin in bbls. for sale by
in the tropical seas
There's a beautiful isle,
Where storms never darken,
The sunlight's soft smile.
There the hymn of the breezci
And the hymn of the strew - it' .
Are mingled in one.
Like sweet sounds in a darealn,
"There the songbirds at morn, '
From the thick, shadows start,
Like musical thoughts
From the poet's full heart.
There the song birds at nodn
Sit in silence unbroken,
Like an exquisite dream
In the bosom unspoken.
There the flowers hang like rainbows)
On wild Wood and lea
0, say, wilt thou dwell
In that sheet isle with the ?
There's a beautiful star,
Where no yew casts a shadow
The bright scenes to mar.
There the rainbows ne'er fade,
And the deta:i are ne'er dry,
And a circlet of moons
1.7.17 CT shines in the sky.
There the songs of the blest,
And the songs of the sphers,
Are unereasingly heard
Through the infinite years.
There-thsoft_airs float down
I t From the amarynth bowers,
All faint wtth the perfume
Of Eden's own flowers.
k . There truth love and beauty
Immortal will be
- 0 thou
gliuellaneous . 'grading.
It was Christmas Eve, and the shadows
were falling fast and gray in the snow
clad country, and that gentle hush that
seems to pervade the air on Christmas
tide, was setting over all things; but in
the great city all was light, and bustle
and confusion. Crowds of gaily dressed
people thronged the brilliantly lighted
stores and streets.
From. one of the workshops on B---
street, came among others, one who by
his dress was evidently a fireman. He
was in the prime of life, but' alas ! the
ruin fiend had set his mark upon his vic
tim. His eyes had that bleared, vacant
expression that stamps those who drain
the poisonous cup to the dregs, while his
bloated face, tattered garments and shuf
fling tread, all told the sad tale. Al
though among all the other workmen,
he seemed not of them, and- many a
glance-of contempt, and • a few of pity
were cast on him as his fellows hurried a
way. A few words float back to his ear
as he shuffled along behind a couple of
his co-workers.
"Whatever did the boss mean by
brimming that drunken dog for an assist
ant fireman?" asked the first speaker.—
"He's picked him up in the gutter, I'll
warrant you."
"Yes," replied his companion quietly,
"Barton did find him in the gutter, and
a lot of villainous boys were pelting him
with mud, and like the man that he is,
he just helped him out, and brought him
to the. factory, and when he was sober
set him to work. You know it's one of
his hobbies to try and reclaim all the
drunkards he can."
The men turned of into one of the side
streets, but the man of whom they had
been talkino. b shuffled along until he came
to one of those miserable alleys, where sin
and shame dwell in hideous companion
ship together.
Into this alley he turned, walked a
few steps, and then stopped short before
one of these low gro b mmeries that always
infest such streets, like huge spiders wait
ing to ensnare the weak and unawary.
The man stopped and looked longing
ly into the brilliantly lighted windows,
his day's wages, and a few dollars extra,
the gift of his generous-hearted friend,
were in his pocket.
He moved tow;ard tie door but stop
pad. He thought he heard a voice say :
"Herbert Lyle, you promised your
friend, Boss, Johnson, that you would let
liquor alone, and to-morrow take the
pledge. Your place is at home with
your family, who are hungry and cold
enough, I warrant."
Yet still he lingered, and at last open
ed the door and went in. Truly his good
angel must have .covered her face and
wept for this man's folly.
The place was very full, and the man
Lyle (he had been a gentleman once)
took a seat by the fire, to wait until there
was a vacant place at the bar.
Ile began to nod soon, but he thought
he aroused himself and went to the bar.
Once there, he lost all self-restraint and
poured down glass after glass of liquid
poison, until he was half maddened, and
went reeling home to his suffering fami
ly. Up, up the flights of rickety stairs
ho went until he reached the miserable
garret he called home.
What a mockery of that tender word
seemed that cold and cheerless garret !
No fire gleamed in the rusty grate : but
the winds swept through the broken
roof at the two little shivering children,
who huddled together under an old rag,
*eltit poeirg.
say, hita.
In that sweet stair with me?
ged ciuilt, were trying to find in sleep a
short respite from cold "and hunger.
And she, the wife=—Heaven pity . the
woman who lives to see her happiness
turned to dust and ashes, as this -Woman
had done! you would never have dream
ed she was once a beauty Want,. and
care and sorrow had robbed her bloom
and; she crouched beside her fireless
hearth, striving in vain to hush the starv
ing babe at her breast heedless that in
its frantic efforts for substance it was
drinking her very lifeblood.
Memory was busy leading this poor
creature back to her girlhood, when the
drunkard stumbled over the th,reshhold.
She looked at him silently, and drew her
babe shudderingly, closer to her heart.
Her silence angered him. He was
mad with drinks One blow, and she was
lying dead at his feet, and her little ones
were awake and calling.for her to awak
en. Then came the gaping crowfl, the
inquest; the weary hours spent in the cell,
the trial—and, that, too, was over, and
he was condemned to die.
It was the morning of his execution ;
all night long he ha been awake,
stening,- to the sound of hammers as the
ear• enters went steadily on with their
ghastly task. " e :new hey - we - .
ing his gallows, and now he could see it
looming up in the gray morning light
outside his windows ; he thought of his
poor children, left alone to meet life's
trials, with no help but the orphan's God ;
he thought of his murdered wife—then
the sound of footstep's were heard com
ing nearer to his very door. They were
coinin,g_ta_lead him to death !
Suddenly a great roaring filled his
ears and over all, the chime of bells rang
loud-and-clear,--and with. aloud- cry_ for
help the dreamer awoke. He looked a--
round the-filthy groggery with strongly
softened eyes.
"How. long have I been here ?" he ask;
evening,-"--responel_the _liquor_
seller, "and ye must have been howling
• • n minutes. I thou"ht I'd
never get you woke up. a-e sut in
now my boy?" he inquired moving nearer
the bar—for mark you, he had caught
the chink of coin in the man's pocket.
"What'll I take ?". repeated the drun
kard, "nothingl never again will I touch,
taste or handle the accursed poison that
has robbed me of manhood--1 swear it !"
Something of his old manner— a rem
nant of the days when Herbert Lyle had
been a prince among men—awed the
rough group as he left that den of misery
forever and a free man, along the dark
alley with the sweet peal of bells, that
had awakened him from that fearful
dream, ringing out their message of love
and good will to his penitent heart. On
ly once he stopped, at a small grocery,
and when he came out he carried a huge
basket laden with a store for his loved
He reached that same miserable garret,
and it seemed more wretched than he had
dreamed. His wife was kneeling beside
the ragged bed, where lay her two elder
children, while the babe at her bosom
moaned low and piteously, as she rocked
it to and fro. She turned as he entered
the room, and showed him her tear-stain
ed fs.ce.
"Carrie, wife„' he said.tenderly, setting
down his basket ; "here are some provi
sions foryou we'll keep Christmas to
morrow. Wife, I am sober; I have sworn
never to touch liquor again. I've been
a brute to you and the children, but hea
ven help me, I'll be what I once was— a
man again. Are you content, Carrie ?"
She had risen to her feet, still holding
her infant, and stood drinking in his words
as the parched earth drinks in the dews
of the evening, and as she realized that it
was once again the husband of her youth,
speaking of future happiness, she sprang
toward him and lay sobbing on his breast.
"0 the depth of a woman's love, who shall
fathom ?" Forgotten was all the weary
past with its record of sin and shame, and
amid tears and sobs, they thanked that
tender Father who had at last brought
up a soul out of the depths.
A little later, when all gathered round
a cheerful fire, they heard the bells ring
ing out in gladsome peals a welcome to
the new born day, and the voices of sing
ers came faintly to their ears; chanting a
Christmas carol :
"Good will on earth, and peace to men.
Now and forevermore. Amen."
Sam. Johnson and Banking
Henry Ward Beecher tells this story of
Sam Johnson, of New Orleans, a mulatto
financier of an early day, but one who
lived in advance of his generation. , Sant
was a. great authority on the levee, and
one duy he called his satelites together
and addressed them on the importance of
adopting a fiscal policy more nearly re
sembling that which had raised to opu
lence their Caucassion. neighbors.
"Nic*aers," said he, "if you want to get
rich, you must save your money. You
must have a hank. Dat's de way de white
folks does." These words fell on .st pro
pitious soil. The project went into swift
execution, and the earnings of the week
were promptly forthcoming. "Niggers,"
says Sam. "I'll be de cashier; "you must
posite do money wid me and when you
want any you must draw onto it. Pat's de
way de white folks does.". All went merrily
for a while, and the depositors were highly
elated about"de bank." But by-and by
there began to be trouble—not with the
deposits, but with the drafts. It was found
easier to get funds into this model insti
tution than to get them out again, and
Sam was compelled to face the angry cm
touters And explain.
"It's all right, says he, "de bank's only
suspended, and in a few day's she will
"again resume ;" dat's de way de white
folks does." This expedient lasted but a
little while, however. SUSpicions of
foul play day by day increased; and the
storm was about to burst' on the' head of
the great operator, when he 'found it ex
pedient to gather one more his infuriat
ed depositors, and "face the Music" frank
ly. ".Niggers," Said he, "dar ain't no use
a mou-in about it :!• De money's spent
and de bank's broke; and dat's de way
de -white folks does 1,"
a wonderful thing love is to a woman !
How it helps her to know that some one
is always fond of her; that he rejoices,
and sorrows when she grieves : to be sure
that her faults, are loved, and that her
face is fairer, to one at least, than faces
that are more beautiful—that one great
holds her sacred in its innermost recesses
above_alLwomen I She can do anvthin
be anything, suffer ancthing, tEts — tiphelit
She grows prettier under the sweet' influ
ence—brighter, kinder, stronger—and life
seems but a foretaste of heaven ; and all
she sees is beautiful and all her dreams
gold. . _ _
But when this is gone—when the sods
are piled over the true lover's breast—or
when her sole has been played in one of
those too frequent tradgedies, and the cur-
tain has . roppe an I e oo ;..c - Ittb
out, and it is all over forever, then God
have mercy on the woman, life holds noth
ing more for her. •
How weary is her work when no one
help, or praises ! How desolate her leisure!
How joyless the things that gave her joy!
The pain that she could bear when some
dear voice praised her patience and pitied
her, grows insupportable ; ambition per
ishes ? The little innocent vanity that
made wearing of pretty things a pleasure,
fetsakeliersoul when no one smiles to ;
see her look so well, or praises her with a '
word or glance. Her heart witheri; her
life fades ; she grows old as love-filled
years could not make her grow in a very
little while,sfor love is all to woman—her
hope and comfort and power. And-let
those who have it, thank Heaven, and
. that-they may live no longer-4h '
love dwells with them, for all that comoth
after is but Dead Sea fruit—cold, bitter
aches at the heart.
only one Territory of any size, and never
has been but one, occupied by any con
siderable population, from which woman
is absolutely excluded. Yet such a place
exists to-day, and has existed for centuries.
As far qek as history reaches, to all fe
males it hasbeen forbidden ground. This
bachelor's Arcadai is situated on a bold
plateau between the old Peninsula of Ac
te, in the Grecian Archipelago,, and the
mainland_ Here, in the midst of culti
vated fields and extensive woodlands,dwell
a monastic confederation of Greek Christ
ians with twenty-three convents, and num
bering more than seven thousand souls,
and not one of the monasteries dates from
a late' date than the twelfth century. A
few soldiers guard this anti-female land,
and no woman is allowed to cross the fron
tier. Nor is this all ; the rule is extend
ed to every female creature, and from
time immemorial no cow, mare, hen, duck
or goose has been permitted to make ac
quaintance with hill or valley of Mount
Athos Territory. A traveler was startl
ed by the abrupt queStion : "What sort
of human creatures are women ? The very
idea of woman, whether as wife mother or
sister, is almost lost. To all women ha
ters; to bachelors of over forty years stand
ing; to all men-who seek refuge from the
wiles and ways of the opposite sex, this
region can be safely recommended as a
haven of refuge.
THE CROWS.—Henry Ward Beecher,
says of crows : "Aside from the special
question of profit and loss, we have a
warm side toward the crow, lie is so
much like one of ourselves. Ho is lazy
and that is human ; he is cunning, and
that is human ; he takes advantage of
those weaker than himself, and that is
manlike, he is sly, and hides for to-mor
row what he can't eat to-day, showing a
real human providence, he learns tricks
much faster than he does useful things,
showing a true boy nature, he likes his
own color best, and loves to hear his
voice, which are eminent traits of human
ity, he wilt never work when he can get
another to work for him—a genuine hu-,
man trait; he eats whatever he can get
his claws upon, and is less mischievous
with a belly full than when hungry, and
that is like man, he is at war with all
living things except his own kind, and
with them ho has nothing to do. No
wonder,:then,that men despise crows, they
are too much like men. Take ofr his
wings, and put him in breeches, crows
make fair average men, Give men wings
and reduce their smartness a little, and
ninny of them would be good enough to
be crows."
FAIVIMIG .As A 13osnrEss.—A man who
is not smart enough to run a store
is not smart enough to run a, &rm.—
Farmers are not to be made out of what
is left after lawyers, doctors, ministers
and merchants are sorted and picked out.
And if a man fails on a farm, he is not
likely to succeed in a store, for it requires
more tallent to be a thriving farmer than
an average merchant. The one , great
failure is the disproportion between a
man's farm and his capital. A farmer's
capital is skill, and his money. If be
has little cash, he must have -no more
land than he can thoroughly manage by
his personal labor. Every; acre beyond
that is an ineumbrance. One acre well
worked is more, profitable than twenty' a
cres skimmed over. It is this greed of land
by farmers that have not the capital to
work it that keep so many poor. Small
farms are better than large ones, simply
because they are better suited to the cap -
ital of common farmers.
IloatE. -- Home is a dear word, and a
dear place. It is the place where the
tired wing of bee and bird, and the tir
ed foot of beast and man, find rest at ev
entide. It is the place where love whis
pers her diviuest secret, joy has its sweet
est play, prayer trembles into its most
solemn importunity, and where sorrow
drops its bitterest tear. The stately man
sion, carpeted froki basement to attic,
and furnished all through with the rich
est and most costly upholstery, and:hung
with art's best touches, 'does not make a
home. All these _ we have seen, homes
where there was no carpet nor any cush
ioned chair, nor musical instrument, nor
painting - of the artist.
er than brick walls, carpet, sofas, and pi
_A_true, tender_wife and mother ; a
strong, patient, faithful husband and a
ther ; innocent children playing in the
yard or laughing and chattering by the
hearthstone, or sleeping sweetly in the
trundle or cradle—these make the home.
Amid these faiths and joys, and blessed
contrasts, care is dispelled, the aching
heart is rested, weary feet are quickened
and life gets a new purpose and impulse.
Every week ,or two we read of the prince
ly gifts of some rich man to an institu
tion of learning, art, or charity. And
this is well. All honor to such benefac
tors. Their munificence deserves the
highest commendation, and the more it
is recognized and extolled the stronger
will the public sentiment in favor of
charity and generosity become. But we
hope that our generous men will remem
ber that there is no institution so grand
and useful as a truly noble man, and that
a few hundred dollars given to the strug
gling talent and aspiring genius will of
ten yield a richer return than as many
thousands locked up in the safe invest
ment of a college or hospital. Brick and
mortar - Veneficence is a - splendid - thing
but the kindness, sympathy and encour
.- •o-t-Tat—ili-;vetly---into—the--. •
some young man or woman struggling
under a mountain of difficulties,, by the
gift and friendship of a wise patron, is
worth more than all the marble in the
world. One of the very best uses to
which generous people can put their gen
erosity is just this of cheering and help
ing worthy men and women to realize
their highest aspirations.
A goat is longer than a pig, and gives
milk. He looks at you. So does the doc
tor; but a goat has four legs. My goat
butted Deacon Tillingham in a bad place,.
and a little calf wouldn't do so. A boy
without a father is an orphan, and if he
haint got no mother he is two orphants.
The goat don't give as much ma as a
cow but more than an ox. I saw an ox
at a fair one day,and we went in on a fam
ily ticket. Mother picks geese in the sum
mer, and the goat eats grass and jumps
on a box. Some folks don't likegoats,but
as for me, give me a mule with a paint
brush tail. The goat is a useful animal,
but don't smell a. , 1 sweet as bear's oil for
the hair. If I had too much hair I would,
wear a wig, as old Captain Peters does.—
I will sell my goat for three dollars,. and
go to the circus to see the elephant, which
is larger than five goats.
Elephants have the bitterest enmity. to
camels. When the camel scents the ele
phatit it stops still, trembles in all its limbs
and utters an uninterrupted cry of terror
and fright. On pursuasion, no blows can
induce it to rise; it moves its head back
ward and forward and its whole frame is
shaken with mortal anguish. The ele
phant, on the contrary, as soon as he per.:
ceives the camel, elevates his trunk,
stamps with his feet, and with his trunk
thrown back, snorting with a nose like
the sound of a trumpet, rushes toward
the camel, which with its neck outstreach
ed and utterly defenseless awaits with the
most patient resignation the approach of
enemy. The elephant, with its enormus
shapeless limbs, tramples on the unfortu
nate animal in such a manuer that in a
few minutes it is scattered around in small
A young men nevef
give up the habit of lining both sides or
the walk in front of the churches when
services aro out in the evening? Every
young lady who comes from the church
Eves to the right of her,
Eyes to the left of her,
and it is not very pleasant, even if her own
beau is among the starers. How would
these young men like it if some day they
should see their names in print all in a
line just as they stood at the entrance of
each place of worship, on a previous Sun
day evening ? Several young ladies hold
themselves in readiness to furnish cata
logues of these statutes whenever requir
WORDS FOR 1131; YouNe..—Young
friends, education is to you what polish
and refinement is to the rude diamond,—
In its rude state, the diamond resembles
a stone, or peice of charcoal; but when cut
and manufactured, it comes out a bright
and beautiful diamond, and is sold at a
great price. So it is with you. Educa-
Win call forth the hidden treasures and
latent brilliancies , of your minds, which
previously lie dormant and inactive, or,
in, other words asleep. It cultivates and
develops your understandings, and fits
and prepares you for the ditties and re
sponsibilities of coming ycurs, which, we
trust, will be years of usefullness—useful
to yourselves, to your associates, and so
ciety at large.,
We hear of several weddings on the
Carrier's Address for 1812.
THE mom of time bus struck again,
A link is severed from the chain;
For some the golden bowl is broke, •
The cistern's wheel has lost a spoke,
Time is dying, dying, dying,
And the years are quickly flying,
Like the last, they all have past swiftly by;
Let us not supinely lie, for eternity is nigh,
Let us see what has been done
In the year of seventy-one.
As CARRIER, I know who's who,
But to tell you what's what,
Would be hard for me to do.
Soif I say ought in making my rhyme,
That's - notjust - iw-tune-or-not-quite-in-time,
I'll make it all right if I possibly can,
And -next year adopt a different plan.
Tne RECORD you know has got a new dress,
And now is worked on 'an improved press,
A column is added, which makes it some•
And with the new type it presents quite•a
Of things that have happened in the year
to dwelTmuch upon
To some it brought sorrow, and to some
brought joy,
To.others there came a nice little boy ;•
Here and there too, a dear little daughter,
Was broght from the laud where the angels
had caught her.
The railroad committee still has its exis-
But the horse that eats fire is ofT in the dis
On the "man in the moon" there'has been
thrown some light,
But without the explanation the light is
not bright.
- n - other - things too-there's-been—some-dig
And now I'm for an I want you tolearn
Some too havegot tired of living alone,
And have built up a fire on a new hearth
May the fire that's on them never get low,
May it alwayi be burning with a bright
steady glow.
A Forney went over to Scotland for dice,
He won the whole box. and came back in a
Nextißeaver broke in, and stirred up a Rip
Who carried with him a Cook for a mate,
And Walter 'tis said is in the same state.
Some time in October or chilly November,
A fellow came over and took a Miss ender,
Whose name he had changed,
And curried her Off to some other range
Of Doctors we have quite a good number,
And there scarcely is room for any new-
comer. -
We think this a hostility And temperate
Yet the doctors are having a right good
Fevers arc billions atni fevers typhoid,
And, awful to tell, ono case of varioloid;
But just where it As, or who it was bud it,
No one can tell but the doctor who said it.
Prevention is better than cure, too be sure,
So a dab and a scab, a bird on the arm,
For small-pox, they say, will act like a
And the plague can't do you the least bit of
" harm.
And now lest I weary you, I'll bid you adieu,
And hope that the year seventy-two may
be happy to you.
MEenAmcs.—They are the palace
builders of the world ; not a stick is hewn,
not a stone is shaped in all the 'lordly
dwellings of the rich, that does not owe
its beauty and fitness to the skill of the
mechanic. The towering sp - r2s that raise
their giddy heads among the clouds de
pend upon the mechanic's art fur their
strength and symetry. No edifice for de
votion, or business, or comfort, but bears
the-impress of their hands.. How exalted
is their vocation; how sublime thefr call
. Neither God nor man expects a wife to
submit to brutality,. but a woman find
ing herself outgrowing her husband, or
disappointed in him, yet takes up her cross
and fitting her shoulders to, it, bears it in
silence to her life's end has joys that the
world knows not of and attains to, the
highest type of womanhood.
If women would cultivate their minds
more, they would be more companionable
to intelligent men. Many a husband
goes out for his evenings, and many a
lover tires of his betrothed, bemuse he
finds her conversation insipid. Ladies
try not only to look pretty but to talk
well also.
A man that has a friend must show
himself friendly, no doubt. But don't de
fend a friend at the expense of principle
and truth.. If a friend does wrong, either
acknowledge it or be silent. Most hurt
ful as well as sinful is it to sacrifice truth
to friendship.
The rising generat: - mlbwa is hope
fully bright. At/ one of the Sunday
schools in anjoica ern the superintend
ent,yeviewing the lesson, aske4 the-ques
tion, "Why are we commanded to "gird
our loins•?" Ono sharplittle shaver sung
out, "To keep your breeches up."
Every evil to which we do not succumb,_
is a bead:actor.
ait and ,Numor.
How long ought a lady's crinoline to
be ? Not mneh above two feet.
How to overcome your sorrows.—Strike
out ow of your.own sighs.
What is the difference between lumber
and timber? A good deal.
The happiest age for young women—
Marriage ; at least so they 'say.
What age is the• most cold-hearted ?
The cabbage.
Josh Eno
square on a bile, - witbo — ufhurting it is one
of the lost arts.
An exchange:wants to know whetherl
a lover can be called a "suiter," when he
don't suit her ?" .00"
Its.,There is a man at - Niagara Falls
who actually succeeded in cheating the
hackman there.
The best Bus—Kissing a pretty girl.—
Best Re-bus—Kissing her a second' time.
A terrible Blunderbuss—Kissing the
Some one says that .the lion and the ,
lamb may lie down together in this world,.
but when the lion gets up it will be hard
work to find the lamb..
Quilp and his: wife had a bit of, conten
tion the other day. own that you have'
more brilliancy than I." said the woman,
"but I have the better judgment" "Yes
said Quilp, "your choice in marrying
shows that!" Quilp was informed that he
was a bruit.
A young married man was remarking
to some ladies that it was always the wo
man-who-ran after _the_znen - ,w&..n.:. his
wife indignantly said, you know my dear.
I never ran after ou. ' That ma le,)!
it turn
he replied; but you too. rug ty goo
not to get out of the way!"
A friend of ours courted a lady for
twenty-eight years, and then married her.
She turned out to be a perfect virago, but
died in a few days after the wedding.—
"Now," said our friend, in a self-congrat
ulating tone, see what I have escaped by
a long courtship." . •
A Chicago lover went visit his girl one'
.evening recently, lfute for some reason,
probably that the • Lire had materially
changed his condition in life, she received
and treated him cooly. He remained
standing in the parlor ler a few moments,
but finally made a movement toward the
. door, remarking that "he guessed .he'd go."'
"Oh !" said she, starting from a beauti
ful condition of semi-unconciousness,'won't
'you take a chair r
"Well, I don't care if I do," was his re
ply ; and he took the chair, thanking her
kindly, and carried it home. He says
is a good chair, made of walnut, with stuf
fing, and green cover—just what he wan
ted. But he is down 'on the girl—and de
clairs he wouldn't marry her--not.if her,
father owned a brewery.
A, Fall S•roni,--We met a bay on-the
street yesterday and without the.ceremo- . ,
ny of asking our name he exclaimed: -. •
"You just orter to been down to 'the
river a while ago."
"Why?" we inquired,
"Because a nigger was in - swimming,
and a big catfish came'-up. behind him
and. swallowed both of his feet and went
swimming along, on the top of the water
with him, and there came behind another
big fish, and the nigger swalloWed' his
tail, and the' nigger ancl•tWo fish went
swimming about."
"Well .what then?" we asked.
"Why; after a while the nigger swal
lowed his fish, and the Oiler swallowed
the bigger, sad that's the last I saw of
either of them."
"Sonny," said re, with feeling of a
larm for the boy, "you are in a fitir way
way to become the editor of a Denio-
Tratic paper and we left him.
DIDN'T WANT A 3lrsisrErt —Scene in
a western. State A village composed most
ly rude mining huts called "housi," "cot
tages," "taverns," etc., though really they
were but "shanties," An old man sick
on his bed. A friend,. Governor J.
Nye, seeing, that his end was close at hand;"
showed him many kind attentions and en
deavored to ease his sufferings in every
possible way. One day when it was
quite evident that the poor patient could
last only a few hours, the Governor said
to him : "It is undoubtedly best that
you should know the truth ; you are a
very :sick man, and will in all• probabili
ty live but a short time. Are your affairs
in the condition. that you should wish ,to
have them? I-should-be glad to do any
thing for t you, yurt know."
"Yes,.tey're all right."
"Well, would you like me to write• to
any of your folks East ?" •
"N - ot now—after it is over."
"Would you:laze me to call in a min
ister ?"
The sick man, by a great efrort of wilt
over a weak and shattered body,. drew
himself up is bed so as to be in a sitting
posture, and sternly, most soberly and
earif6tly said : "Why Governor! What
should I want a minister for? I never•
voted the democratic ticket in city life.
Lay your finder on your, pulse, and
know that every EEtralm Kuno- immortal
passes,to his maker; some "liAlovv,heing
crosses the river of death . ;and, if' , we th ink
of it, we may well: wonder that 'it slioula
71,eieo, l'ong.before-our turn. COMP.& '
82,00 PER YEAR,
1 ' 8.
says kno