The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, October 05, 1871, Image 1
-' - 4 - ;'*,';:b..t#'.,.lljl,,'zi . g' ‘ e HgictlT4.: BY W. Blp.AlB. 'IOLUNE 24. professiont J. a AMBERS i PILYSICIAN AND WAYNESBORO', Office at the Waynesbo store." • SCR. B . PP Has resumed the practi.; e FRlCB—lsrthe - Walke - the Bowden House. Nig I made at his residence on . joining the Western Scho July 20-tf JOHN A. HY. ATTORNEY A HAVING been admited at the several Courts i ty, all business entrusted promptly attended to. Po - Mereersburg, • LEW Ir. DE-A _ATTORNEY AT WAYNESBORO Will give prompt and clo - business entrusted to his door to the Bowden Hous Building. -JOSM.PII DO ATTORNEY A: WAYNESBORO Practices in the several Co .and adjacent Counties. N. B.—Real Estate lease, Fire Insurance effected on December 10, 1871. D. A STOUT, DENTI , GEER. TU., PA •Sett 3 al Feb. tIFF) V citi DL sive pi been _years i He -at the Father times Jul WAYNESB Can be found at all times be is prepared to insert basis in use and at price Teeth extracted, without chloroform, eather, nitro freezing process, in a m • none. We the undersigned be4quaintecl with A. K. Brattish°lts for the r year, can rec ommend him to the imblmerally to be .a. Dentist well qualified &form all ope rations belonging to Deny in the most ,skillful manner. • ' Drs. J. B. AMBERSON, E. A. HERRING, J. J. OELLIG, T. D. FRED sept 29t( ] MEAZINE'RY TO THE L AXES. C. L. HOLLIN received a full suppl l moods. Ladies are invited her stock. apr 20. • MI- O. 33 - RA.OI=MT 1, PHOTOGRAVR, S. E. Corner of thimond, WAYNESEOIIiA.,, 'MIAS at all times a finertment of Pic tures Frames and lildgs. Call and ee specimen pictures. June tf. - -& .." S_ 2-i DEALER IV®! ONE'S ANDIOTZLEY, 883 WEST BALTTREET, BALTIM.O larWattibes Repaired sgarrazuted.,E4X sarJewalry 11fade akipaired.'64 July 13, 1271.4£ . SURVEYIN4 111) INYALCVG, iHE undersig,ned hayad some ton JL years experience as atical Surveyor is prepared to do all . if Surveying, laying out and dividing tacls, also all kinds of writing usually y -Scriveners. Parties wishing work . n call on, or .address the undersigned ynesboro', Pa. feb 2—tf] • STOLE& BARB ri - 4:3- I THE subscriber info r public that he continues the Barbe siness in the room next door to Mr. rocery Store, ;and is at all times prep do hair cut ting, shaving,s banipoo W.. in the best mtyle. The patronage o /leis respect fully solicited. Aug 23 187 L r ... A. PRICE. NEW MUNI SIM I ,MD., " Begone with feud 1 away with strife, Our human hearts unmatipg ; Let us be frietids again, since life Is all too short for hating. So.dull the day, so dim the way, So_r_ough_the_road-w-e!re-faringi Far better wend with faithful friend Than stalk alone, uncaring. "Corner Drug Dane 29—if. .WTZ, f Medicine. uilding—dear .11s should be in Street, ad- ouse. • The barren fig, the withered vine, • Are types of selfish ,living, But souls that give, liftothine and mine, NG, Renew their life by giving, While cypress waves o'er early graves, On all the way we'er going, Far better plant where seed is scant Than-crush-the-fruit-that's-gidiride.--- Practice Law anklin Coun is care will be I ffice address igiE s , W, Away with scorn ! since die we must, And rest on one low pillow ; There are no rivals in the dust, No foes beneath the willow. So dry the bowers, so few the flowers • Our weary path discloses ; Far better stop where daisies, droop Than tramplg over roses ! - ttention to all Office next the Walker (july 6 Mil 0, what are all the joys we hold, Compared to joys aboVe us? And what are rank, and power, and gold, Against the hearts that love us ? So fleet our years, so full of tears, So closely Death is waiting— God sends us space for loving grace, But leaves no time for hating. of Franklin nd sold, and nable terms. A TEST OF FRIENDSHIP. One_of the first settlers inVestern-New York was Judge W—, who established himself at Whitestone _about_four_miles >ert - y - ciit les. from Utica. He brought his family with him, among whom was a widowed daugh ter with one child—a fine boy only four years old. The country around was an unbroken forest, and this was the domin ion of the savage tribes. .Judge W— saw the necesity of keep ing on good terms with the Indians, for, as he was nearly alone, he was complete ly at their mercy. Accordingly he took every opportunity to assure them of his kindly feeling, and to secure their good will in return. Several of the chiefs came to see him, and all appeared pacific. But there was one thing that troubled him ; an aged chief of the Oneida tribe, and one of great influence, who resided at a distance of a dozen miles, had not been to see him, nor could he ascertain the views and feelings of the sachem in respect to his settlement in that region. At last he sent in a message, and the answer was that the chief would visit him on the morrow. True to his appointment the sachem came. Judge W— received him with marks of respect, and introduced his wife, his daughter and little boy. The inter view that followed was interesting. Upon its result the Judge was convinced that his security might depend, and he was therefore exceedingly anxious to make a favorable impression upon the distinguish ed chief. He expressed his desire to set tle in the country ; to live on terms of am ity and good fellowship with the Indians, and to be useful to them by introducing among them the arts of civilization. The chief heard him out, and then said : "Brother, you ask much and you promise much. What pledge can you give of your faith ? The white man's Word may be good for the white man, yet it is but wind when spoken to the Indian I" "I have put my life in your hands," said the Judge ; "is not that an evidence of my good intentions ? I have placed con fidence in the Indian, and will not believe that he will abuse or betray the trust that is thus repped 1" "So much so well," replied the chief; con fidence • if you will trust him he will trust you. Let this boy go with me to my wig wam—l will bring him back in three days with my answer I". If an arrow had pierced the bosom of the mother she could" not have felt a deep er pang than went to her heart as the In dian made this proposal. She sprang for ward, and, running to the boy, who stood at the side of the sachem, looking into his face with pleased wonder and admira tion, she encircled him in her arms, and, pressing him to her bosom, was about to fly from the room. A gloomy and omi nous frown came over the sachem's brow, but he did not speak. But not so with the Judge. He knew that the success of their enterprise, the lives of his family depended on the. decis ion of a moment. to the nity. exten he has tuber of esboro', ?,sq., his td at all ted. S, IST, ', PA., s office where on the best i:uit the times. l by the use of lid eggs or the surpassed by SNIVELY, . RIPPLE, BONBRAKE, 'ER has just ew Millinery and examine "Stay, stay, my daughter," he said.— "Bring back the boy, I beseech you. He is not.more to you than to me. I would not risk a hair of his head. But my child, he must go with the chief. God will Watch over him ! He will be as safe in the sach em's wigwam as beneath our own roof." The agonized mother hesitated a mo ment, and then slowly returned, placed the boy on the knee of the chief, and kneeling at his feet, burst into a flow of tears. The gloom passed from the sachem's brow. He rose and departed. I shall not attempt to descrite the ag ony of the mother for the ensuing days.— She was agitated by contending hopes and fears. In the night she woke from sleep, seeming to hear the screams of her child calling on its mother for help. But the time wore away slowly—and the third day came. How slowly did the hours pass.— The morning waned away, noon arrived ; yet the sachem came not. There was a gloom over the whole household. The mother was pale and silent. Judge NV —walked the floor to and fro, going c % , tiett poeirg. NO TIME NOR HATE. isttilaucints itading. A FAMILY NEWSPAPER-DEVOTD TO LITERATURE, LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS, ETC. WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1871. every few minutes to the door; and look ing _through the opening in the forest to wards the sachem's abode. At last as the rays of the setting sun were thrown upon the trees around, the eagle feathers of the chief were seen danc ing above the bushes in the distance.— He advanced rapidly—apd the little boy was at his side. He was gaily attired as a young chief—his feet being dressed in -moccasins;a, -- fme - beaver - skin - was on his shoulders, and eagle feathers were stuck in his bar. He was in excellent spirits, and so proud was he of his honors, that he seemed about two inches taller than he was before. He was soon in his mother's arms, and in that brief minute she seemed to pass from death to life. It was a hap py meeting—too happy for me to describe. "The white man has conquered," said the sachem ; "hereafter let us be friends. You havettifsted - inatidian ; he will repay you with confidence and friendship." • He was as good as his word; and Judge WV livedfor many years at peace with the Indian tribes, and succeeded in lying the foundation of a flourishing and i prospeyous community. Dyeing and Wishing. A SHORT PLAIN STORY. A. lady refused to be introduced to a gentleman last evening at Congress Hall, and no amount of urging could induce her to change her mind. "What are your reasons for not want ing an introduction 2" urged a friend. "Because he wears a paper collar and dyes his moustache," replied the lady ; "and I never knew a thorough gentleman to do either." The lady was very near the truth. A dyed moustache is a foul thing—as foul as a cigar in_the inn hof a Venus-;-and a paper collar is an evasion of the laundry as culpable as the lady's who chose color ed crockery because it would not show dirt. About dyeing the hair black, I will al sosay_a_word—Light_hair-makes-the-eyes look brilliant by contrast. So, by-and-by, when the eyes becomes dimmed by age, God paints the hair white, and the dim ness of the eye is unperceived. Look at a man or woman with dyed hair ! The eye is as dead as that of a sleeping ox.— And still these sily, people think they are deceiving somebody—think that they are making themselves look younger when in fact everybody with a particle of sence discounts their foolish attempt at decep tion. Powderingthe hair gives the eye as unnatural brilliancy, hence it is fre quently resorted to in court circles in Eu rope. But, as a general thing, young gen tlemen and old ! don't try to improve on divinity. God knows best what to do, and when He silvers your hair white or paints your moustache with auburn, He has a purpose as grand as Himself. Here is something I heard Mr. Seward say once (you .know the ex-Premier is the homeli est man, except General Sherman, in A merica)—well, old homely handsome Sec retary Sesiard said : "The cleanest man is the most comely to look upon ; so bathe well, eat well, and love well, and some how or other, the homeliest will be beau tiful." Now it has struck me a thousand times that Mr. Seward, who looks always so neat and sweet, is really a handsome man ! The cleanest man is the best man—l mean morally and physically too 1 How may young ladies—and now I beg their par don for saying it—look beautiful at a dis tance, but when you come close to them they have a soiled look. The hair will look greasy. Now there is no more ex cuse for putting greasy on your hair than there is for putting it on your hands. You people I say who grease your hair, arejust as barbarous as the Camanche Indian who greases his face. A gentleman will never fall in love with soiled woman. She must be sweet. Have you never, in so-cal led polite society, met a young lady whose face would have been in 'proved by a good square washing? Now, this is plain, homely talk. European Court circles do more bathing, ten to one, than the bourgeois.— Indeed, in Russia—in Moscow, where you see the sweetest blonde woman in the world—they have four bath houses, each as large as the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Once daily, every man and woman of patrican blood plunges all over, head and all, un der pure, sparking, rejuvenating water.— This makes the hair light colored, gives to the homeliest, somethingof the angelic. I beg pardon for this plain talk. A Singular Indian Tradition. Among Siminole Indians there is a sin gular tradition regarding the white man's origin and superiority. They say that when the Great Spirit made the earth he also made three men. AU of the men had fair complexions; and that after making them he led them to the margin of a small lake, and bade them leap in and wash. One obeyed, and came out purer and-fairer than before ; the second hesitated a moment, during which the water, agitated by the first, had become muddled, and when he bathed he came out copper-colored ; the third did not leap till the water had become black with mud, and he came out black with its own color. The Great Spirit laid before them three packages, and out of pity for his misfortune in color gave the black man the first choice. He - took hold of each package, and having felt the weight, chose the heaviest. The copper-colored man chose the next heaviest, leaving the white man the lightest., When the pack ages were opened, the first was found to contain spades, hoes, and impliments of labor; and the second enwrapped hunt ing, fishing, and warlike apparatuses; the third gave the white man •pan§, ink and paper, the engines of the mind—the means of mutual mental improvement, the social link of humanity, the founda tion of the white man's superiority. Elegiac Lines. [Several years' since, a distressing oc curenee took place which was published at that time. A Mrs. Blake, of. Salem, N. Y., who, with her husband and child, had set out on a visit •to Vermont, pas sing over the Green mountains, in cross ing which, the snow was found to be deep and pathless, and the weather extremely cold. Having rode till they nearly per ished with cold, they attempted to exer cise themselves in walking. Mr. 8., who had proceeded on in haste, in order to search some dwelling for assistence, soon became exhausted, and sunk down in a perishing condition, but afterward recover ed. Mrs. Blake, in the course of the night, froze to death, • leaving her ten der offspring wrapped up in her cloak in Which situation it was found the next morning 'alive. The following elegant lines from the Eastern Argus were writ ten on the occasion, and we now re-pub lish them.] The ,cold winds swept the mountain's height And pathless was the dreary wild, And 'mid the cheerless hours of night A mother wandered with her child, As through the drifted snow she press'd, The babe was sleeping on her breast. And colder still the winds did blow, And darker hours of night came on. And deeper grew the drifts of snow ;' Her limbs were chilled. her strength was gone. 0 God! she cried, in accents wild, If I must perish, save my child. She stript her mantle from her breast, • An bar'd her body to the storm, And round the child she wrapped the vest, And smird to think the babe was warm_; ith — ottb — etdd kiss, one tear she shed, And sunk upon a snowy bed. At dawn a traveler pass'd by, And saw her 'neath a snowy veil The frost of death was inher Her thek. was cold, and hard, and pale; He mov'd the robe from off the child; Thebabe look'd up and sweetly smill/4.1. Will A Lady Ever be President. We hope so, if she is pretty. What fun to be under petticoat government, with out any immediate danger of a broomstick or a scolding !_Every good looking chap would have a chance for office then. How glorious to be closeted alone l with the fair Executive of the nation, on business of a private and confidential mature ! The old custom of kissing the hand might be re vived ; and from the hand to the lips isn't such a great distance, you know. The Presideutess must be either a widow or a maiden lady so as to give an ambitious fel low achance. Her bust inmarble, and her portrait on canvass, would look well, dis played all over the country, instead of some low-browed, common-looking rooster, with rtubbed beard and the air of an "or nery cuss." The fair head of the nation would of course set all the fashions. Her administration would inaugurate an era of love and elegance, to the utter confus ion of dusty . politics. Let us have a lady President by all means, say we. The elec tioneering will be rich when two rival la dy candidates are up for the highest office in the gift of the people. Fancy one of them a plump, comely female, and the oth er a lean, lank specimen of womanhood. We should have torchlight processions, with banners bearing such mottoes as "Full Bosoms Forever," "Down withiPaint and Power." "Hurrah for Full Garters." "No Withered Shanks," "Pretty Ankles are the Nation's Bulwarks." "No Cotton Brest-works for Our Country's Defences." "To Arms, Ye Brave, when they are Fair and Dimpled," and so on. At the polls, huge, placards would . be everywhere seen, with such inspiring legends as "Vote for Full Corsets and Lovely Women," "Give the Kissing Candidate a Chance," "Go. for-the Belle of the Nation." These will be high old days in the history of our re public, ithd may we live to see them. We speak for the berth of Private Secretary. The Wages of Royalty. Royalty is, perhaps, the best business going, regarded from a peculiary stand point. Thesalaries of Emperors and Kings are for the most, part liberal, and no de ductioirs- made on account of absence from duty. - The Czar of Russia has the most profi table berth, his wages averaging $25,000 per day, or 365 timed as much as Presi dent Grant receives. The Sultan of Tur key struggles along at $lB,OOO per day. How he can do it,. with his large family, and the inevitable enormous dry goods bills—is not easy to understand. Louis Napoleon, last September, lost a place that paid him $14,000 per day ; but he has been prudent, and hassaved up some thing handsome, which will keep him com fortable in his old age. What the pay of Emperor William, of Germany may be, we don't know ; but as King of Prussia, he was paid only $8,210 per day, or 83,- 000,000 per year. Victor Emanuel, of Italy, enjoys an income of about $3,000,- 000. Queen Victoria is a good manager, and keeps the pot a-bilin on about $2,000,- 000 per year. The Prince of Wales finds $625,000 unequal to his expenses. Some time ago, a man namedNeekly left Queen Victoria $1,750,000, and Prince Albert left her $5,000,000. It is believed that she will "cut up" more richly than any other soverign, of Europe. In contrast to these magnificent figures it may be interesting to know that the av erage income of nine millions of people in England and Wales is less than two shil lings per day. A woman's heart is the true plate for a man's likenws. An instant gins, and 11.1 age of sorrow and change cannot efface tle impression. ' Thomas Buchanan Read. The following is from the correspondent of, the Boston Advertiser, writing from Rome, and gives quite an interesting ac count of America's favorite author and artist : Buchanan Read, the painter poet, is an other remarkable man in the Roman art ' circle. He divides his time also between his two pursuits: Read, unlike most lit erary men, is an early riser. He goes to bed betimes, and is awake always with the birds. At 4 o'clock, summer and winter, he is at his desk; writes until 7 and then breakfast and goes to his studio. In the wintor he paints all day, returns home at dark to dine, his wife reads a loud to him until nine o'clock, when he goes to bed. At the head of his bed, fas tened to the mall, is a huge slate at least three feet square; a pencil hangs on a cord beside it. In the; night—for Read is a light sleeper—this slats. is at hand to usefor quick passing fancies and thoughts. His wife copied from it for me, - ;the other day, the new verse which Read has late ly added to his popular lyric "Drifting," Read wrote "Drifting" fifteen years ago, before he had visited Naples and the Bay which the, poem describes. Since then he has been there and discovered that his poem needed, to make the landscape com plete, one more chord—another bit of har moneons coloring—a description of Sor rento. As the verse is entirely new and has never been published, lam glad to have the chance of sending it to you. It comes in the poem just after the second verse : "In lofty lines "Midst palms and pines, And olives, aloes, elms and vines, Sorrento swings On Summer wings, WherciTasso's spirit soars and sings." Why Flirts Don't Marry. It is remarkable, but nevertheless true _that,-as a - rule, - ffirts - , - both — male and fe male, do not marry quickly. The chanc es are that a girl who becomes engaged at - 18, and g oes ou becoming engaged and disengaged, as it is the custom for flirts 'to do, ultimately settles down into a con firmed oltrinaid, too. If she does wed, as a general rule, she developes into the most virulent wasp, makes her husband miserable, and brings up her children badly. It is not very difficult to find reasons why flirts do not marry. Sensible men admire in a woman something besides a pretty face and engaging manners. They love intellect, common sense and heart, qualifications which the flirt does not pos sess. The true woman allows her affec tions full play, and is not ashamed of. them. She will not lead a man to be lieve she cares for him when she does no such a thing ; she will not flirt with him just for the sake of flirting. She has a truer conception of what is right, and possesses .a good deal more common sense. , She has derived her ed ucation from something else than three volume novels and the society of empty pated fops. She can be thoroughly mer ry ; but she knows how to be merry with out being idiotic. She may attract less attention ilia drawing-room than .the flirt does, because she is less noisy and obtru sive ; but, for all that, she will get mar ried sooner, and make her husband a bet ter and a truer wife. A true woman does not care for the spooney young man. She dislikes his foppishness, the vapid compliments he pays her, and his effeminacy. He quick ly finds this out, and leaves her in peace. Thus, if he ultimately.gets married, it is to a flirt, and the "happy pair' lead, the jolliest cat and dog life imaginable. Immensity of. Creation. • Some astronomers have computed that there are no less than 75,000,000 suns in the universe. The fixed stars are annuls and have, like our sun, numerous planets revolving around them. The solar sys tem, or that to which we belong, has a bout thirty planets, primary an secon dary, belonging to it. The circular field of space which it occupies is in the diame ter 3,600,000,000 of miles, and that which it controls is much greater. That sun which is nearest neighbor to ours is called Sirious, distant from our sun 22,000,000,- 000 of miles. Now if all the fixed stare are as distant from each other as Sirious is from our sun, and if the solar system of the 75,000,000 of suns, what imagina tion can grasp the immensity of creation? Every sun of the 75,000,000 of suns, controls a field of space of about 10,000, 000 of miles in diameter. Who can sur vey a plantation, containing 75,000,000 circular fields, each of them 10,000,000 miles in diameter ? Such, however„. is one of the plantations of Him who:Tuis measured the water in the hollow of his hand, and meet out heaven with a span and comprehended the dust of the earth n a measure, weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance; Him who, sitting upon.the orbit of the earth, stretches out the heavans as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in ! The New York Mail says : Few of the masculine gender have any idea of the in tridacies of the female toilet, while its cost is a marvel to the most astute. There is a conundrum which explains that a ship is always spoken of as being of the feme nine sex, "because the rigging costs more than the hull," and this contains a pro found philosophical truth. We lately learned that a hair dresser inthis city has on sale a double braid of pure gray hair, twenty-eight inches in length and about the thickness of one's wrist, on which he places the modest price of $3,000, and ex pects to get it too. For Fite ; Consult Mr. Reininger Tailor.k The Sea of Galilee. What the traveler will see when e catches his first eager glimpse of the lii •pid sheet of water will be a small oval shaped lake thirteen miles long and six broad. It is evidently of volcanic origin, and the earth-quakes which have rent the walls of Tiberias, as well as the hot springs at several places in the vicinity of the lake, show that volcanic agencies are still at work. All along the eastern side runs a green plain, which, except at one spot (the probable scene of destruction of the swine after the healing of the Gada rene demoniac) is every where about a quarter to a half mile in width.—Beyond this rises, to the heighth of 2,000 feet, an escarpment of dessolate looking hills,scor ed by various ravines, and having a plateau at the top. As there are neither trees nor villages to be seen on that side and no signs of cultivation, the view in that direction has a certain monotony,• but, this is atoned for by the air . of mys tery derived from its very desolation, and from the fact that even in our Lord's;time it was so unfrequented that he had but to visit it when he required the refreshment of solitude. It was at this lovely shore that we are reminded in the lines of the beautiful hymn— " Come to a desert place apart And rest a little while, So spake the Lord when mind and heart ' Were faint and sick through toil." It was somewhere among those feature less hills—probably toward the northeas tern part of the lake—that he fed the 5,- 40 who had flocked after him' on foot; it was somewhere about thosegrey ravines that he spent the night in prayer. And how many times must his eye have rested with pleasure on. the .dimple surface of the inland sea! a sight deligthful in any region of the world, but doubly refresh ful and delicious in this sultry land. AxZUNPLEABANT - DILEMZIA,;-=-The E vening 'Journal, of Jersey City. is respon sible for the following The other day a lady and gentleman were walking along Exchange Place on their way to the terry,,. when suddenly and unaccountably the lady stopped.— She flushed her face, trembled wolently, and, then resorted to that happy Leman expedient, crying. "Why my dear Lousia, what on earth is the matter with you ?" exclaimed her companion. "Oh dear me, what shall Ido ? I can't fix it." The crowd surged by; some looking in amasement, while others stopped for an instant gazing at the crying lady and be wildered gentleman. "Why, Louisa, what is the matter ? Let us move on and not raise this crowd here," "Oh, no indeed I can't, oh, what shall Ido ? What a fix I'm in!" 'The gentleman evidently felt as .if he too, was in a truly pretty fix. • What was he to do ? "Tell me, Lousia, what does ail you?" Just then a boot black came along and offered the desired information. "I say, mum, you'd better hitch up them 'er undergarments of yours." Something hadjgivenaway. A mechanic in New Orleans constructed a safe which he declared to be burglar proof. To convince the incredulous of the fact, he placed a one thousand dollar bill in his pocket, had himself locked in the safe, and declared that he would give the iuoney to any man that unfastened the door. All the blacksmiths and bur glars in the State have been boring and beating at that safe for a week, and the man is in there yet ! He has whispered through the key hole that he will make the reward ten thousand dollars- if some body would only let him out. Fears are entertained that the whole concern will have to be melted down in a blast-furnace before he is released, and efforts are to be made to pass in through the, key hole a fire proof jacket, to protect the inventor while the iron is melting. The inventor swears that if he once . gets out, he ivitl in future always try the experiment with a rival patentee inside. He says he nester thought he should wish, as he does now, that some one would find a weak place in his armor. A little girl, six years old, was on a visit to her grandfather, who was a New England divine. "Only think, grandpa, what uncle Robert says." "What does he say, my dear ?" "Why, he says the moon is made of green chem. It isn't at all, is it?" Well, child, suppose you find out for yourself." "How can I, grand pa ?" "Get your Bible, and see what it says." "Where shall I begin ?" "Begin at the beginning." The child sat down to read the Bible. When she had read about half through the second chapter of Genesis she came back to her grandfather eyes all bright with the excitement of dis covery. "I've found it, grandpa! It is not true ; for God made the moon be fore_he made anycows." SliM.—There iinothing so striking in the region of Mount Sinai as the death like silence which prevails there. The tricklings of brooks, the' fall of waters, the waving of trees, the hum of voices and insects are unknown. , From the highest point of Ras Sasafeh to the lowest peak, a distance of about sixty feet, the page of a book, distinctly lAA not loudly read, is perfectly audible. Mysterious noises, are sometimes heard, but they are supposed to proceed from the rush of sand down the mountain side—saud here playing the same part as the waters and snows of the North. IFcto pays the highestpriee for a house? The woman.who marries for one. 82,00 PER YEAR Ma ti 13 DI MA Mit and Xamor. , Why is a don'h,y at cannot hold 11 : i p d up, like next 'Way ? Because it' :.'s weak. Why may a man stealing lard he said to be in a thriving condition ? Because he is getting fat. i F te A. shrewd politician' ys that he al': ways judges of the cha . iof a house by the cleanliness of th back yard. It is not disgraceful to any one who is poor to confess his poverty ; but the not exertinc , one's self to escape poverty is disgraceful. GT 5k A. teacher of' v al music asked an ol" lady if her grands had an ear for mu sic. "I really dot now, you can fa), the candle and see." In general that man is a coward who shapes his course of action by his fears, and he alone is a man of true courage who dares to do right. A Brooklyn mother advised a daugh ter to oil her hair, and fainted flat away when that candid damsel replied, 101 i no, ma, it spoils the gentlemen's vests." Schoenberger swears that he can drink 150 glasses of lager at a setting. As each glass is a pint nearly, and each pint weighg a pound, the • question arisw, which is Schoenberger and which is-beer, Mrs. Partington, in illustration of the proverb, "A. soft answer . .turneth ,away wrath," says that "it is better to, speak paraagorieally of a person than to be all the time flinging epitaphs at him." A Chicago girl broke off her engage meat with a young _man -for the reason that he sneezes in his sleep. If it would not be impertinent, we would like to know how she found it out. rAn edithr says the business men of a Western town have presented their editor with a fine horsi,:and buggy as an evi dence of their appreciation of his paper.— We hope there wilisbe no such trick play-, ed upon anybody herW. wo Irishmen were one day engaged in roofing a house, when 6ne of them lost his hold and fell to the ground. The other hastened to him and inquired, when he found him prostrate and still, "Mickey are yees dead ?" "No," replied Mickey, "not dead, but apathies." r'7 .s r. young man, who has tried it until he knows, tells us that if you go. to call on a young lady, and she sews, iligentlV' all the evening, and says "yes" and "no,'" you can go away about nine, or a quar ter past, without anybody feeling bad about it A young fellow who wanted some mon ey went to a man and asked him to ad vance him five dollars. "Why !" said he "I don't know you." "That is why I came here," answered the other, •-"for those who know me won't lend nnt five shillings." _ "John," said a poverty stricken man to his son, "I've made all my will to-day." "Ah," replied John. "You were liber al to me no doubt." , - Yes John; I eamo:down handsome.— I've wine I you the whole State ofVirgin ia, to make a living in, with the privet edge of going elsewhere if you can do bet ter." - Some time_ sinee Northern .. egitiontt clergyman visited New York, and invited to fill a city 'pulpit. He knew nothing about qUartette choirs and had never,.heard'a church organ. Afteeflic first hymn showed him • what the organ prelude was, ho announced the second as fbllOws "The audience will now join with me in singing a good old Methodist hymn, and those fellows running that bag of wind in the gallery will please not in terrupt.' A genuine_dolvileastet - was, lately es 'saying to appropriate a square of .exceed ing tough beef at a. dinner* a Wiscon sin hotel. His convulsiveelfortslwith a knife'and fork attracted the smiles of the rest in the same predicament - as himself: At last Jonathan's patience vanished un der ill ,success, when laying down his u tensils, he burst out with : "Strangers, you needn't laugh ; if you hain't got anv regard for the jLandlord's feelings, you ought to have some respect for Lie 'um bull." This sally brought down the house. AroLooY.—"Did you Bey that I wasn't fit to carry swill to swine, Mr. Brown ?"- "I did sir." "Well sir, I require you, hero in the presence of these gentlemen, to recall that insult, or you will have to take the con sequence.' "I am ready, willingly, tarepair the in jury I have done you: see.that you do it quickly, sir." "Brown turned around to the insulted gentleman, and, said : "Gentlemen, I have done my friend Mr. Smith, here, the injustice to say that he was not fit to carryswill toswine, at which he is very indignant. Now, gentlemen I wish to recall thnt:remark, and do here . take great pleasure in saying that Mr. Smith is emtneatly'qualified to carry swill to swine. I hope this apology will be sat isfactory to Mr. S., and that his ex client qualifications will be duly appreciated." "Thomas spell' integrity." kneirity." go head."