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Published every Wednesday by
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BLM 8TBKKT, TIONKHTA, PA.
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Forest meptjb
VOL. XLIV. NO. 45.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 3, 1912.
$1.00 PER ANNUM.
THE FOREST REPUBLICAN.
LICAN
BOROUGH OFFICERS.
Burgess. 3. C. Dunn.
Justices of the Peace O. A. Randall, D.
W. Clark.
Oounctimen. J.W. Landers, J. T. Dale,
O. 11. Robinson, Win. Sinearbauich,
R. J. Hopklus, G. F. Watson, A. H.
Kelly.
Constable Jj L. Znver.
Collector W. H. Hood.
Hrhool Director W. C. Itnel, J. K.
Clark. H. M. Henry, Q Jauileson, D. H.
Blum.
FOREST COUNTY OFFICERS.
Member of Congress P. M. 8 peer.
Member of NewUe J. K. P. HalL
Assembly W. J. Campbell.
President Judge W. D. Hinckley
Automate Judges Samuel Aul, Joseph
M. Morgan.
Prothonotaty, Register A Recorder, etc.
-8. R. Maxwell.
Hheriff Wm. H. Hood.
Treasurer W. H. Brajsee.
Commissioners Wm H. Harrison, J.
C. Honwdxn, H. H. McClnllau.
District Attorney. A. Ca-rlngar.
Jury Conimisnumers J. U. Eden, A.M.
Moore.
Cbroner Dr. M. 0, Kerr.
Ctountv Authtnr -(lorne H. Warden,
A. C. GrPRir and 8 V. Shields.
County tourveyor Roy 8. Hraden. -
Count Superintendent J . O Carson.
Halr Tenae mt (lean.
Fourth Monday of February.
Third Monday of May.
KoiirUi Monday of September.
Tbirrl Monday of November. -Regular
Meetlng-Onf County Com in In
loner 1st and 3d Taesdaya of montb
Inarch Hakkntb Mebeel.
Presbyterian Habbath School at9:46 a.
m. t M. K. Sabbath Hchool at 10:00 a. ra.
Preaching .n M. E. Church every Sab
bath evening by Rev. W.S. Burton.
Preaching in the F. M. Church ever)
Sabbath evening at the usual hour. Rev.
G. A. Garrett, Fnxtor.
Preaching in the Presbyterian churoh
evcrv Sabbatb at 11:00 a. iu. and 7:30 p
m Be v. H. A. Hadey. Pa-tor.
The regular ineetliigii of the W. C. T.
0. are held at the headquarters on the
second and fourtn Tuesdaya of each
m nth.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TM N EST A LODGE, No. 869, 1.O.O. K.
1 tbwta every Tuesday evening, in Odd
Fellows' Hall. Partridge building.
CPT. GEORGE STOW POST. No 274
G. A. R. Meets 1st Tue-dny after,
noon of eai'b innntn at 3 o'clock.
C APT. GEORGE STOW CORPS, N...
137, W. R. C, meeU first and third
Wednesday evening of each month.
TF. RirCHEY.
. ATTORNEY AT-LAW,
TioiiHHta. Pa
M. CARRINGER.
Attorney and Oiunsellor-at Law
OllJ-e over Forest County National
Bnk Building, TIONESTA, PA
CURTIS M. 8HAWKEY,
ATToRNKY-AT-LA W,
Warren, P
Practice in Forest Co.
AC BROWN,
ATTORN EY-AT LAW
OtHcein Arner Building. Cor Elm
and Bridge Hi-., Tionesta. Pa
FRANK 8 HUTKK. I). D. 8
RotiiliH over Citizen Nat Bank.
iIONESTA, P..
DR. F J BOVARD,
Phvsician i Surgeon,
TI 'N KflT A, P A,
EvesTmted end GIxhh Fitted.
D
R J. B. SIGGINS.
Physician and Surgeon,
OIL CITY. PA.
HOTEL WEAVER,
JOSEPH RENSI, Proprietor
Modem and up to dale, in all its ap
pointor Is. Every convenience and
com tort provided for the traveling public
CENTRAL HOUSE,
j R. A FULTON, Proprietor
Tionsela, Pa. This is the most centrallj
located hotel iu the place, and lias all the
modern Improvements. No pains will
be spared to make it a pleasant stopping
place tor the traveling public.
pUIL. EMERT
FANCY BOOT J SHOEMAKER
Mhopover R L Haslet's grocery store
on Elm street. Is prepared to do all
Kinds of custom work from the til, est to
the coarsest ami giiarantws his work to
lve perfect HHtislhotion. Prompt alien
lion g vhii to mending, md price r s
tunable.
Fred. Urettenberger
GENERAL
BLACKSMITH & MACHINIST.
All work pertaining to Machinery, En
gines, Oil Well Tools, Gas or Water Fit
tings and General Blacksmithlug prompt
ly doue at Low Rales. Repairing Mill
Machinery given special attention, and
satisfaction guaranteed.
8hop in rear of and just west of tin
Shaw bouse, Tidioute, Pa.
Your patronage solicited
KKFO. GKKTTK.NHKKH
Go to the Tioueuta
Racket Store
-FOR-
Holiday Goods
Hand Painted Chins.
Japanese Clime.
Decorated Glassware
Christinas Decorations.
P st Card.
Dolls, Toys, G-iines, &c..
G. F. RODDA,
Next Door to the Fruit Store, Elm
Street, Tioneeta, Pa.
GREAT ROW OVER BEAN SOUP
Put on Menu of Banquet to Visiting
President, It Was Denounced
as Plebeian.
Denver has been stirred to Its
depths by the disturbance over the
menu for the president at a banquet.
Seven hundred citizens have put up
their dollars and taken their dress
suits out of storage. As incense rises
from mothballs and tar paper, the
clangor of controversy fills the air.
As the banquet is to he held at night,
the arbiter elegantlarum la not called
upon to decide whether full dress
aulta shall be worn In the daytime.
Discussion rages around the soup. The
rest of the menu Is settled. So far
as we can learn, 1t includes celery,
cigarettes, olive oil, cigars, cake,
"mile high" cocktails, oysters, Ice
cream, lettuce salad, mashed potatoes,
vegetables, cheese, radishes, nuts,
broiled squab, beefsteak, crackers
and champagne. So far so good. But
when the husky, hearty mountaineers
proposed to serve bean soup certain
mollycoddles who had crept Into the
committee objected on the ground
that It was distinctly plebeian. That
Is considered a terrible accusation in
Denver, where recherche Is an Insult
and creme de menthe a crime. "Bean
soup Is good enougn for any man,"
spoke up the natives, "and no one
who turns up his nose at it Is fit to be
the president of the plain people."
At first, we gather from the confused
accounts, the tender-roots insisted up
on consomme royale aux petit pols,
but at last agreed to compromise on
cream of tomato.
Do they contend that the tomato is
more aristocratic than the bean? It
is an insult to Boston, a' blow at Bev
erly. Look at Massachusetts there
she stands, with a president on the
one hand and a pot of beans on the
other. If this be plebeian, make the
most of It! Baltimore Sun.
SHE HUSHED KING EDWARD
How Alice Nielsen Reproved His Maj
esty for Speaking While She
Was Singing.
One evening the duchess of Man
chester entertained In honor of the
late King Edward. Miss Alice Mel
sen, the American opera singer, was
present and . sang. - Among others
there was a request - for Tostl's
"Ooodby to Summer,' then in the
first flush of its great popularity.
With the composer at the piano, the
first stanza went with no strange or
unusual occurence, but while Tostl
was playing the soft interlude to the
second stanza, the king turned to one
of his party with some remark, and
his sonorous bass sounded out sharply
through the room against the soft
harp-like chorda of the piano.
With exquisite daring, Miss Neilsen
looked straight at his majesty and be
gan the line: "Hush then an omi
nous pause " 'tis a voice!" By this
time the royal listener was all atten
tion and looking straight into a pair
of eyes dancing with Ill-suppressed
merriment. There was a moment of
suspense, when the king saved the
joke by starting the laugh in which
the company joined. The royal guest
took his gentle reprimand with true
gallantry. Joe Mitchell Chappie in
National Magazine.
Spencer and Free Libraries.
Ruskln's dislike for public libraries
waB shared to the full by Herbert
Spencer. When the trustees of the
British Library of Political Science
asked Spencer to present his works to
the library, he replied: "From time
to time I have bad various applica
tions akin to the one you make, and
have in all cases declined compliance.
I disapprove of . free libraries alto
gether, the British museum included,
believing that In the long run they
are mischievous rather than benefi
cial; as we see clearly In the case of
local and municipal free libraries
which, instead of being places for
study, have become places for reading
trashy novels, worthless papers, and
learning the odds. I no more approve
of free libraries than I approve of free
bakeries."
Interesting Point.
At a spiritualistic meeting in Wlchi
ta the spirit of Elijah Crosser was
called for. Elijah Crosser had died
there many years, before, but was re
membered for his Immense stature,
six feet five Inches. A voice in the
darkness said he was Elijah. "Are
you in' heaven?" asked an old-timer.
"Yes," came the answer. "Are you
an angel, Llge?" "Yes." The ques
tioner paused, evidently having ex
hausted his fund of questions, and
then suddenly inquired: "What do you
measure from tip to tip, Llge?"
Professional Chaperons,
In a girls' finishing school in New
York they have professional chaperons
who do nothing but take young wom
en out, walk them around and fetch
them back again. They take, their
charges to trains and meet them at
trains. They are paid, not by the
week or month, but by the Job, so
much an assignment. And the curious
thing about it is that they are bonded.
They are actually bonded. The girls
themselves have never been able to
find out why they should be bonded.
So Sudden!
Bleecker Daisy Headliner has
promised to give me my answer to
night. She
Baxter (showing evening paper)
The press agent and the reporters
have got ahead of you, old top; lt'a
"Yes!"-PucH.
TI8 PREVALINT.
My muss Is weak, ,
My muse iu pale; -
To woo my muse
Doth not avail.
From contact with
The world she shrinks!
Just (Hi alone .
And thinks and thinks.
What's on her mind?
Now, who could sayT .
This much I know.
She's far from gay. .
Bhe smtlrs no more,
Nor doth she sing
A roundelay
Inspired of Spring.
All wo-brgone,
Too tired to trip, ,
I fear my muse
Hath caught the "grip.1
Alackl
"Why are you bo gloomy?" asked
the man's friend. "You ought to he
cheerful. Here you have been shot at
by a Jealous husband who mistook you
for another man and you have es
caped without a scratch because the
bullet was stopped by your pocket
Bible, given to you by your mother.
You're mighty lucky, It seems to me."
"Yes, but I have no stunt of any
kind, so there's no chance for me to
take advantage of the advertising I've
got I can't go into vaudeville."
Merely Obeying Orders.
"Daughter, did I not see you sitting
on that young man's lap when I passed
the parlor door last evening?"
"Yes, and it was very embarrassing.
I wish you had not told me to."
"Good heavens! I never told you to
do anything of the kind!"
"You did. You told me that if he
attempted to get sentimental I must
sit on him."
Considering the Price of Hata.
The Parson And you say your wife
was thinking of the women's hata all
the time she was In church.
The Deacon I'm afraid she was,
parson.
"I'm sorry. Her mind should be on
higher things."
"Great guns, parson! Are there any
higher things than women's bats?"
Yonkers Statesman.
At the Battle of Waterloo.
Napoleon was waiting anxiously for
Grouchy.
"He baa the key to the situation!"
muttered the great commander.
But he was wrong for once. There
wasn't any key. It was a time lock
that held the situation, and Grouchy
had set It wrong.
THE QUESTION.
Mazle Why, Argyl, papa wouldn't
raise his hand to a young man.
Argyl Does he feel the same way
about his feet?
Cupid Explains.
Cupid shot a spinster once,
And folks thought It queer.
Until he said In explanation;
"I took her for a dear."
An ingenious Explanation.
"Why do you scream when you sea
a mouse?"
"Because of my humane disposi
tion," replied Miss Cayenne. "I
scream bo as to give the mouse a
chance to run away before I tall on
it and destroy it.'
Wrong License.
The Stranger Are you quite, sure
that that was a marriage license you
gave me last month?"
The Official Of course! What's the
matter?
The Stranger Well. I've lived a
dog's life ever since. The Sketch.
Awkwardly Expressed.
Gushing Lady I hear you've been
away for your health, professor.
Musical Lion Yes, I've been to
Marienbad taalng the baths.
Gushing Lady Really! That must
have been a change for you! London
Opinion.
Natural Enemies.
"That woman Is a nature faker in
ber dress."
"How so?"
"She calls It harmonious attire to
wear a mouse-colored gown with An
gora furs."
A Mlxup.
"Paw, the teacher told U8 about
Dick Whlttington the other day. Do
you know who he was?"
"I'm not sure, but I think he tra
the original Jack London."
(i v
i
L J
THE LATC RICHARD 4. FLYNN,
or Ncwtown Mills, Pa.
It's Warm In Florida.
We give below an interesting letter from
Wulluce Chadniaii. Since writinir tlii let
ter, lie and Mr. and Mrs. K. V. Whittekin
have moved to Tampa, Florida, on account
of the warm weather:
I'itnta (ioHtiA, Fh. Dec. 1!), 11)11.
Eiiitob KH.mii.K-AN: It is an eay thing
for me to write letter and stories because
I always stick to facts. Fiction does not
appeal to me nor I to it. Fiction may be
all right iu its way, but it is not reliable
and cannot be depended upon. And then
truth is stranger than fiction, and we all
ought to lie satisfied with truth for that
reason alone. There arc no really and truly
liars, and no man should he called a liar;
wo should confine ourselves to the state
ment thut one man may possess more truth
than another and let it go at that. I have
always been a warm adherent of truth, and
when, iu my travels, certain great truths
strike ine forcibly I am half crazy until I
publish tlieni to the world.
1 am down here in De Soto county, a
county so big that it would make ten
"Little Forest's" and there would be
enough left over to make one of inv famous
Tidioute townships. An arm of the (iulf
ol Mexico extends iniaiiu iu tins place
about fortv miles, making 1'uuta Gorda
Uuy and Charlotte Harbor, and upon the
south side of ttie latter i untu dorua city is
located. A government pier runs out into
the harbor for half a mile, and along this
pier are tied up an array of motor boats
that would cause Glenn Volcott forty con
niption fits; while dozens of fishermen
keep the planks Hopping with sea trout,
mackerel, snooks, mullet, and so forth, the
sight of which would start Angus Carson
for his rod and line on a gallop. Tomorrow
1 shall go out to try my luck and 1 hope to
hook a Jew lish that w ill require a plat
form scales to weigh hi m on. Hobby lias
let's grocery scales would be totally inade
quate here.
Last night two mosquitic came into my
room and perched upon the bureau. They
were each as large anil greatly resembled
the crane that John liusli shot along the
Allegheny last October. Those two mos
qui tors, when they imagined I was asleep,
left their perch and soared around tho
room even as the hawks soar on Smoky
Hill. One settled on the bed by my side
and pecked for a vein on my left arm. I
sma-hed li i in in the face, grabbed a small
table standing near and drove hot li from
the room. A bell boy told tne I must keep
my window down to avoid further visits
lYoin the hungry birds, but how could I do
that witii the temperature at about So? I
have bad some strange experiences, but
this is the lirst time in my life that mos
quitoes hungered after my ricli red blood
on the 17th day of December. At Jackson
ville I saw n cockroach fully as large as a
Back Channel snapping turtle.
Iu a restuuranl at that place the waiter
charged me two dollars for a tenderloin
steak, and it brought back fond memories
of the halcyon davs when I used to dine at
the Hismark in Cleveland.' But I would
have been just as well satisfied if those fond
memories had not been brought back in
that manner.
The streets of Tunta Gorda arc cleaned in
a most wonderful way. They go over them
witii dieting brushes, like the French maid
in the parlor.
I sit here writing with the balmy air of
July or August blowing through the open
window and scenting the room with the
perfume of tho orange and jasmine, and
surrounded iu and out hy all the radiance
of tropical summer, and when 1 go fortli to
consign this letter to the mercies of Uncle
Sum, the scorching old haymaker whose
rays never reuse to shine by day in this
country, will burn mouse-colored freckles
on either side of my aquiline, snout.
Wallace Chaiiman.
Cherry Mrove.
May the new year be a happy and pros
perous one for all. A family gutliering
was to have bceh held at the homo of Mr.
and Mrs. Christ Johnson on Sunday before
Christinas, but the serious illness of a mem
ber of the family, Harel, prevented the
happy reunion. It was at first thought
thut llarel had diphtheria but on Saturday
night Dr. Hyor. under whose cure ho was.
declared he hud no symptoms of it ami
again allowed people to enter the house,
but the hour was so late that a reunion was
impossible. However, Mr. and Mrs. Her
bert Kowley of Warren came up and were
entertained at the home of her sister, Mr.
and Mrs. Louis Johnson, where they did
ample justice to a bounteous Christmas
dinner, und took supper and spent a pleas
ant evening at the old home, where there
wus much rejoicing ut the expected speedy
recovery of brother and son. Andrew
Christenson of Kellettville, and Hurry of
Hart & Henderson's, spent Christmas with
their parents. Mr. and Mrs. U. W. Gif-
ford spent Christmas with their daughter,
Mrs. V. D. Egglestoti, at Corry. .Simon
Allaire Sr. spent tho week with his family
liere. Miss Clara Bailey hail a small
Christmas tree lor her pupils at Vunder
grill Comers school. She remembered all
with a liberal treat und presents, while she
in turn received many pretty gifts. On
Saturday morning Miss liuilcy went to her
home in Titusville. L. C. Hanson, Si
mon Alluire Jr., Win. Pope, Simon Allaire
Sr., Mrs. A. Murlitik and son Andrew were
Shellield visitors Suturday. Orda Van-
denberg visited his parents, Mr. and Mrs.
Geo. andenberg, Monday of la-t week.
Orda has lately moved liis family from
hero to Maybiirg. Lottie, Wilila and
Helen Deshuer are visiting their grand
mother, Mrs. Annie Deshner, here this
week. Mr. and Mrs. Louis Johnson went
to Warren Friday of a-t week. Little Lu
cile accompanied them but stayed witii her
aunt. Mrs. H. Kowley, until Sunday, when
the hitter brought her home. -G. W.
Gillord remembered the men in Ids employ
each with a line box of cigars as a Christ
mas treat. Little Millard Pope is also the
proud possessor of his first overcouf. Sure
ty grandpa knows how to play Santa Claus.
Miss Olive VUndeiiberg spent Saturday
of lust week in I'orkey, returning; home
Sunday. Miss Nellie Farnsworth, who is
teaching in Glade, spent Christmas w ith
her father. Mr. ami Mrs. Louis Johnson,
Mr. ami Mrs. Henry Johnson, Mr. and Mrs.
Wm. Johnson and families und Grandma
Johnson spent Christmas at the home of
Mr. and Mrs. James Cousins here. Cher
ry Grove und Furusworth united in having
u line program at their Christmas tree in
the I li i on Church Friday night. Those
fortunate enough to lie present enjoyed it
immensely. JjotU teacher; roiutuiberiid
1 their pupils with a fine treat and gifts.
Miss Shaw received a gold hat pin from
her pupils, and Miss Bigworth was the re
cipient of a nice handbag. Many made
use of the last day of the season for bear
limiting legally, but so far nothing has
been heard of anyone getting one. So we
suppose there will only lie the stories of the
wonderful adventures which wo will hear
aplenty till another full.
The Motto vii the Clock.
The old Temple clock In London
bears t curious luscriptJou, the origin
of which la ascribed to a chance re
mark. Some 200 years or so ago a master
workman was employed to repair and
put in u new face upon the clock.
Wheu his work wus nearly done be
asked the benchers for un appropriate
motto to carve upon the base. They
promised to think of one. Week after
week he came for their decision, but
: wus put off. . One duy be found them
at dinner iu commons.
"What motto shall I put on the clock,
your lordship?" he asked of a learned
Judge.
"Oh, go about your business!" bis
honor cried angrily.
"And very suitable for a Inzy, daw
dling gang!" the clockmaker Is said
to have muttered ns he retreated. It
Is certain that be carved "Go about
your business" on the base.
The lawyers decided that no better
warnlns could be given them at nny
hour of the day, and there the inscrip
tion still remains. Harper's Weekly.
The Exceptional Young Man.
The exveptioim? young man, says
Orison Swett Marden Iu Success Maga
zine, la the one who looks upon bis
employer's Interests as he would bis
own. who regards bis vocation as an
opportunity to make a man of himself,
an opportunity to show bis employer
the stutT he Is made of, and who is al
ways preparing himself to 011 the posi
tion above him.
The exceptional young man Is the one
who never says, "I was not paid to do
that," "1 don't get salary enough to
work after hours; or to take so much
pains." He never lenv things half
doue. but does everything to a finish.
The exceptional young man is the
one who studies his employer's busi
ness, who reads Its literature, who Is
on the watch for every Improvement
which others In the same Hue have
adopted and which his employer has
not. who Is always Improving himself
during his '-pure time for larger things.
Labrador's Short Summer.
How brief Is the summer on the
highlands of Labrador! says Hesketb
Prichurd In the Wide World. Snow
does not melt till July, then with a
rush midsummer comes. Grasses and
leaves grow almost visibly, the wild
cotton soon flings out its little white
penuons, millions of berries ripen on
the ground, the loon cries, the ptarmi
gan calls, and you may even see a
butterfly balancing In the warm wind.
But then also wakens the countless
army of hunchbacks, lean and gray
mosquitoes, piping blithely for blood.
So summe" reigns. Then suddenly
oue day ut the end of August, after the
sun has sunk behind the barren crags
through n balmy warmth of evening,
one may wake up to find everything
transfigured and the first suow of un
othes season already falling.
Found Out His Man.
A southerner who was visiting St.
Louis wandered Into the dining room
of the hotel and, seeing a negro servant
who had all the Importance of an army
olliccr standing uear the door, asked
him who th- bend nigger" was nrouinl
there. The negro stretched himself to
his full height and pompously replied
that "there ain't no niggers In St
Louis, sub. We Is all gem-men of col
or." "Well," said the southerner, drawing
a $100 bill from bis pocket and finger
ing it, "I expect to be at this hotel for
some time and want to make sure that
I will be taken cure of."
"Oh, sail," suld the uegro, whose eyes
were popping from his head, "did you
want to know who the head "nigger
waller' Is? That's me." Alleutowu
Call.
Origin of the Piano.
The pianoforte wus directly evolved
from the clavichord and the harpsi
chord. In 1711 Sciplone Mattel guv
a detailed uccount of the first four in
struments, which were constructed by
Bartolotumco Chrustoforl. It was
named by him the pianoforte and was
first exhibit "d in 1709. Marlus, In
Franco, exhibited harpsichords, with
hammer uction. In 171(5. and Schrotcr,
in Germany, claimed to have Invent
ed the pianoforte between 1717 and
1720. Marlus .was at first generally
credited with the Invention. I'lanos of
l hat period were shaped very much
like the modern grand variety. The
first hi u,i re piano was constructed by
Frederics, un organ manufacturer of
Saxony, in 17.'S. The first genuine up
right piano was lnveuted In England
and the United States by John Isaac
Hawkins, un F.ngllshuuin, lu 1800.
Detroit Free Press.
The First Money.
Money Is mentioned ns n medium ot
exchange In Genesis, chapter 23. nnd
Is supposed to refer to a time ns far
back us 1S00 B. C. The coinage of
money is ascribed to the Lydluns, a
people of Asia Minor It Is. of course,
quite Impossible to fix nny definite date
for tho lirst coinage. Long before any
one thought to coin money it was made
out of any durable substance that came
to hand, such as leather, Iron, tin,
bronze and even the hard bark of the
trees and stones of the fields. The
Hollander, so late as the middle of the
sixteenth century, made money of
pasteboard. Iu fact, pretty nearly ev
erything In the aliude of lasting runte
rlul has at one time or another been
used ns the medium of trade known as
money.
EVEN AS YOU AND I
Where Ignorance Is bliss 'tis folly
to confess.
Some people think they are guests,
but others find them Jests.
Some people are mere bubbles; only
they remain In the air too long.
The people on the toboggan of Joy
do not realize it until they strike bot
tom. Some people who are crazy to be
married may be only temporarily in
sr.ne Some people are hypochondriacs as
to their value in the world, which in
reality is below par.
In hitching their wagons to a star
most people look through the wrong
end of the telescope.
Some people think heaven Is situ
ated somewhere near earth. Others
locate it down in the rathskeller.
Some people may take a plunge In
the pool of love, hut look long and
longingly in the well of matrimony.
When people quarrel one word
brings on another until they acquire
a vocabulary that they are ashamed
of. Sophie Irene Loeb.
SUCCESS AND FAILURE
The way that wins is hard.
To such men there is an excuse foi
nothing.
Not so difficult iu the doing as It)
the planning.
So the easiest way la as a general
rule the longest way.
It is the easiest way out and such
ways all have to be tramped over
again.
In its winsome winning way It finds
a welcome because it offers consola
tion In times of trouble and perplexity,
The thoughts, the Ideas, the meth
ods which enable men to Judge rightly
come from hard serious work.
The laugh is alwayB on the fellow
who believes in his own excuses. An
excuse Is a devil of a traitor to man
kind. Along the line of the least resist
ance we find the most wrecks, and
this is why some fall while others
succeed.
ALL TRUE.
Anything that Is worth reading at
all, is worth reading again.
The man who produces excellent
writings usually does so In abominable
writing.
Modern advertising is a game played
by merchants, and paid for, ultimately,
by the loser.
There Is a class of persons whose
motto would seem to be: "When in
doubt, back out."
Some people contend it's always the
cream that rises to the top; but then
again, there's froth!
Blessed is the lawyer, for while the
family scrappeth over the Inheritance,
he merrily spondcth the same.
Women are inconsistent, we know;
but what about the man who slaves
the greater part of his life to make
fifty million dollars, and then ac
quires an ambition to die poor?
FROM THE PENCIL'S POINT
A fable Is an opeti-faced lie with a
moral attachment.
Doctors may take life easy and still
manage to avoid arrest.
Most cable news Is fresh, even after
passing through salt water.
While there is life there Is hope for
everybody but the undertaker.
Regular dishonesty is easier to man
age than lrregulur dishonesty.
It's only when some men get tight
that they turn themselves loose.
If it is necessary to burn your
bridges burn them In front of those
on your trail.
Justice is probably represented as n
woman because it Is something a man
is always after.
THE CYNICAL PHILOSOPHER
A man may smilo and smile and be
a villain or Just a simple- Idiot.
A woman stops telling her ago as
soon as age begins telling on ber.
A woman in the case may he all
right; It Is when there are two that
there is likely to be troublo.
When a woman dresses to please
the men, el e doesn't have much suc
cess with tho one who Is paying for
It. Smart Set.
AS TO CONGRATULATIONS ..',
Dr. Killer Congratulations are In
order, my dear madam. My practice
is growing bo fast I can't tend to all
my patients. '
Mrs. Wise I congratulate the pa.
tlents.
DANGEROUS VARIETY.
Caroline She may be a gossip, but
I believe she tells the truth.
Pauline My dear, the truth is fre
quently the worst form of gossip Imag
inable. DIDN'T TELL HER THEN
Dr. Etndee Your wife should take
a long Bea trip.
Mr. Wise If she goes I won't be
able to pay your bill.
WAS UNWARY
Mr. Catfish Have they found out
the cause of Willie Trout's mysterious
disappearance?
Mr. Sunflsh Yes, using the baseball
term, he was caught on a fly.
REASON ENOUGH
I'hllomcna Why do you call bins as
tducatcd monkey?
Virginia Because he Is a proficient
in '.he higher I r inches.