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VOL. XXXI. NO. 51. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 1899. 81.00 PER ANNUM.
The Empress of China has dispensed
with any peace-note preliminaries ami
proceeded to raise an army of 250,000
men.
United States ( p.l lianas, writ
ing from Sao Joan for-Hbe benefit ol
tonring Americans, dwolls invitingly
npon a conviction that Porto Eioo is
destined to become a valued winter
resort for our people as soon aa the
removal of the heavy duties on Ameri
can building material opens the way
a it - . . a .
to vue erection oi Hotels such aa our
people are accustomed to use when
traveling for health or pleasure.
Perhaps the congressional snubs
administered to New Mexico's ambi
tion to be a Stato are responsible for
the remarkable decrease in the per
oentage of illiterates. It has been
known there for some time that the
territory was not eligible for statehood
on the basis of population alone, bnt
that edncational qualification would
have to make a respectable showing
also. Accordingly, the school system
has been developed very efficiently,
with the result that illiteracy to-day
is little over fifteen per cent., as com
pared with nearly sixty-two per cent
at the last oensns.
It looks dark for Dreyfus again.
But the belief in his iunocence is an
shaken, and those who hold it still
Insist that he shall be returned to
France and restored to his rights as a
citizen and to his place in the army,"
lays the Washington Star. Less than
this will . satisfy none of them. . He
bai suffered, he is innocent, and
France at all hazards should nndo the
wrong. There are so many difficulties
inrrounding the case that predictions
is to the resnlt are of small value. It
Is said that if the sentence is reversed
liv the court ol cassation a revolntion
a-iU follow in the interests of - the
irmy. Should the army in such a
sontest succeed hat snooess would
jperate-as a reversal of the oo art's re
rersal, and a reaffirmation of Drey
fus's sentence, his re-arrest probably
if in reach, and redeportation back to
'.hat lonely island. But even should
.he army lose, it would still be unsafe
for Dreyfus to appear in France, and
impossible for him to live there. He
vonld be too marked, a man, too inti
mately associated with bloody ' con
tentiou, although the innocent cans
Of it.
Within the past few days some im
portant data bearing upon the col
onies, protectorates and dependencies
of the globe has been sent out from
the Treasury Department at Washing
ton. In view of the character of re
cent events this data is of timely in
terest. Some figure taken there
from are given in the table below
Colo- Area
Countries. nles. 8q.UI.es. Population.
Great Britain.... Ki 11.230,412 341.053,121
France 32 3,617.827 53.612,930
Germany ... 8 1,020,079 10,600.000
Netherlands 3 802,833 33,911,744
Portugal 801,060 9,816,70.
Bpala 3 215,677 256.00C
Italy... 1 104,0C 650,000
Austria-Hungary 2 23.263 1,569,092
Denmark 3 86.614 - 114,222
Russia 3 205,553 5.6S4.00C
Tarkey 4 564,500 17.4S9.000
Chlm S a.8?l,563 16,6W,0OC
Cnlted States...- 4 m,3S7 10.177.00C
Total 12J 21.821,332 503,043,824
According .to the information set
forth in the table above Great Britain
has nearly twice as many colonies as
the other Powers, while her colonial
population aggregates in extent near
ly three-fifths that of the othei
Powers. France comes next npon the
list, bnt her colonies are more exten
sive in territory than population.
A new system has just been started
among trained nurses in New York
City and other cities, which will cer
tainly prove a boon to the majority oi
patients and must eventually provi
very lucrative to the nurses them
selves. There are thousands of peo
ple who are ill, and yet cannot af
ford the luxury of a trained, nurse.
Again there are others who do not need
the services of a nurse tU day and all
night. The first class cannot have
them on aoobunt of the expense, and
consequently suffer and are ill longer
than if they could have only a portion
of a nurse's care. The pond class
are not ill enough to need the constant
presence of a trained nurse. The
nurse can now be hired tooome in and
assist at an operation, to visit the pa
tient' certain hours, dress wounds,
bathe or chancre or otherwise makJJior to the railroad but Walter.
them comfortable in a manner such at
a woman trained to such work' alon
J- -.C L 'U 1
cau uu, - muuj sii-a jjer.uDa are miuf
very, nervous by the presence of an ab
solute stranger constantly in the room
with them, a! often prefer to dis
pense with the services, of a trained
nurse for that very reason. Under
the new, arrangement such persons
can obtaiu all the benefit necessary by
these visit". .
EBB-TIDE.
A sodden reset, of wide and wind-swept lea.
. A sky of shattered steel that palls the sight,
And one loog shaft of sun tbat seems to write
Tat letters slowly on a slat of sea;
'. Tbe dreary wail of gulls tbat skim the crest
Of sullen breakers sliding in to land,
A wld erown empty, full of vague unrest,
And shadow-shapes tbat stride across the sand.
Tbe frray beach widens. Toot by foot appear
Rrange forms of wreckage creeping from the waves.
Like ghosts tbat stoal in silence from tbeir graves
To watcb beside the death-bed of the year;
Poor shattered shapes of ships tbat once stood out
Full-freighted to tbe far horizon's sweep
To muslo of tbe cheery sailor-shoot
Of men who sought the wonders of tbe deep!
Poor shattered ships! Tbelr valiant cruising o'er,
Their cargoes eoral-erusted leagues below.
They rise, unnamed, unnumbered, from theelow
Recession of the ebb along tbe shore.
The flokle tide that bore tbera bravely then
Betrays tbeir shame and nake Jdoss to be
Mute witness to the littleness of men
Who battle with the sovereignty of sea.
IVir me, as weir, alone npon the dune, -
There sinks a tide that stripe tie beaches bare.
And leaves but grim naslghtly .reck age where
The brooding skies make mockery of noon. '
Ab, dear, that hopes, like tide, should ebb away.
Unmasking on the naked shore of love
Flotsam and jetsam of a happf er day,
Dreams wrecked, and ait tiie emptiness thereof!
Guy Wetmore Carryl, in Harper's Magazine.
WALTER'S FIGHT
By SIDFORD
T the time I was
foreman for Mason
k Jevons, wool
growers so said
the old managing
director of a
famous ranch com
panyyoung Wal
ter Mason came
West for his first
visit. x was a
paler- Mfteen,
nepl gt h
seniof partner, and
sent from his home
in the East, under
the doctor's orders, to live in the open
air for a couple of years.
There were no comforts or con
veniences about sheep-camps in those
days. A bunk-house and kitchen,
with all the furniture home-made ex
:et)t the cooking: apparatns; some
rough shelter for the sheep and
stable for the horses were generally
the only buildings, and these were
apt to b : sot down in some hollow of
the bare, brown plain, to bake like
ovens under-: the summer sun and
to shsk in the cold blasts of January,
Mason A Jevons had a lot of such
samps, but the home ranch, on the
Deep Arroyo, was a more pretentious
Dlaoe. There my men and I had a
five-roomed house, about pasture
cnoneh for two cows, and a small
garden, "under ditch," for tbe grow
ing of potatoes and such luxuries.
We thonght the plaoe a wonder of
sorafort.but the sudden change from a
good city home to a sheep-camp, with
its extremoly early hours, its very
plain fare and still plainer cooking,
was rather trying to Walter; bnt he
never made the least bit of complaint,
not he. lie fell into the ranks at
onoo, and although be was not re
quired to work, he set about learning
tiie details of sheep-raising by doing
everything with his own hands.
Before a year was over the outdoor
life had turned hie muscles into steel
and burned his face to a brick red;
still, he was only a boy, and could not
be expected to compete with the
seasoned men in an ordinary day's
work. And yet, for all that, he would
come in brisk and smiling at tbe end
of a long day a Iamb-herding, wheu
some of the older hands were used up.
This puzzled the men, for they had
been generally inclined to laugh at the
boy t a "tenderfoot." I be expiana
tion really was that Walter never lost
his temper in dealing with the pro
voking, scampering, silly lambs. Now
few things are more exhausting than
a total loss of temper especially
when it is lost for fifteen hours a day
and that is the usual misfortune of
lamb-herders.
Walter spent mogt of his leisure
time npon a superannuated cow-pony,
shooting at coyotes with a rifle, but it
was months before he hit one. The
coyote, although he always turns
"broadside on and gives the marks
man the best chanoe he can, is a bad
target; his thick fur makes him look
much larger than he really is. Walter
fired away cartridges by the box in
vain.
But his failures only inspired him
to try again, until at length he became
an nnoommonly good shot.
I he men, to whom coyotes were
familiar, uninteresting things, nsedto
laugh at Walter's persftent hunting.
They dubbed Um " VT Walter:
The Dread DeJui-DealerbObe Deep
Arroyo," and were always anxious to
know when he intended to go off and
kill a few Indians.
Don't be afraid of Indians." the
boy wordd say, bantering the men in
his turn. "If any of them ever come
p-owMCJ! round while I'm here I'll
stand them off." The promise was
made in fun, but he kept it in earn
est. During the boy's second summer.
after shearing time, my daughter,
Sally, came out from town, where she
was at school, to pay me a month's
visit When the day came for her re
turn, nobody could be spared to drive
-I had
r"""160 w 6. DU- onn nansiord, a
- J . I - . aa a
wool-deaIer, had sent word that he
was coming that day.
Walter was much pleased to take
my 'place, for he and Sally were great
friends, and with only one road to
follow, there was no fear of missing
the way. So, very Boon after sunrise,
the girl and boy set out on their forty
mile drive to catch a train which was
to leave Flattville et five that even
ing. Abont two honrs nfti they had left,
and a good deal .earlier than I expected
WITH VIDIANS,
F. HAMP.
him, John Hansford rode np, and
without waiting to shake hands or to
get off his horse, said:
"Martin, you had better call your
herders into camp mighty quick.
They say, down at Trnebury's, that a
small band of bad Indians is knocking
about the country somewhere north
of here. They've killed a Mexican
herder and burnt his cabin, and now
they've crossed the railroad coming
this way."
I lost no time. "Dick Taylor!" I
shouted, and out ran the ccok, the
only other man on the place at that
time of day.
"Saddle np hurry," I said, "there
are Indians betwixt here and the rail
road. We must gallop to overtake
Sally and Walter. '-
With his paper cap on his head and
his hands covered with dough, Dick
rushed with me to the stable; out
came the horses; on went the saddles,
and in less than five minutes we three,
all well armed, were galloping north
ward. Meanwhile Walter and Sally had
traveled some fifteen miles. They
were jogging along, laughing and
chattering and watching the shifting
mirages which are always to be seen
at that time of year, when my girl
cried out:
"Oh, look! There's a funny one!
Then Walter saw what appeorod to be
the legs of five horses trotting along a
loot irora the ground.
Presently the scene changed, the
norses' legs vanished, . and the young'
stera saw the heads and shoulders of
five men, large and- undefined, sailing
tnrougn the air. Sally told me after
ward that this frightened her.
Suddenly the mirage cleared, and
the girl and boy saw, about two miles
to the northwest, five horsemen, one
behind the other. They were riding
aa u w intercept the wagon, and there
was something very nnnsual in their
appearance. Walter pulled up and
took out his field-gloss.
"I don't like thef looks of them,"
said he. ."They aren't cowboys;
iney ve no nais, ana I think no saddles.
I'm afraid they're Indiana."
"Turn back," said Sally, "and then
we shall know if they're trying to cut
ns on.
"That's sensible," said Walter, and
turned at onee.
The riders immediately broke into
a nard gallop, and beaded straight for
the wagon. Walter urged his horse
to a trot, and then the desperate rape
began.
Fifteen miles of level plain lay be
tween the team and the home ranch.
Could the horses hold out? At first
Walter tried trotting, but the gallop
ing Indians gained so much in the
first mile that he lashed his team into
a run.
But what chance, in that race for life.
had two steady old ranch-horses hitched
to a heavy road wagon? Though they
began with two miles' start, the light
footed Indian ponies came np so fast
that my girl, as she turned her head
to watch them, could soon distinguish
tne lorms. iney grew from dark
Xl 1 a
pawnes to aenuite ngures of men on
running beasts. Sally could make out
the heads, arms, end flying hair of the
Indians, tbe beads of the ponies and
their moving legs,.
"They're gaining fast. Walter." she
cried.
Walter didn t look at her then. Her
voice had been jolted ontof her by the
bumping wagon, and bethought it was
all of a tremble. He just stood np in
the bounoing, rattling wagon and stared
round the sky-line.
lie bod some hope that he might see
other riders, and if he did he would
head for them; though that wasn't the
principal thing in his mind. But
there was not a living figure clear
against the blue or dim against the
plain nothing but the bare, burnt
prairie and the gray streak of road.
"It's all right, Sally," cried the boy.
not looking down at her, for he feared
she would go into hysterics, as he had
once seen an Eastern girl do. "It's
all right, Sally; we'll beat them yet."
At that my girl laughed.
"I guess," she said, "you're not
such a tender fctot as they call you."
blie told me tbat he stared down at
her in surprise for a moment, and then
changed his tune and took her right
into his confidence.
"I'm looking for good place to
fight," he said. "We can't get away
from them by running. But we must
keep on until we see some cover within
reach." - .
"Cover!" said Sally. "We'll be
better off in the open if it comes to
shooting. They'll crawl up to ya
tnrougn tiie cover mat is, n it sore
than just bush or two," for you see,
Bally hadn't been born on the plains
without learning a good deal about
Indian-fighting. x
"Well, that's a fact," Walter ried
out. "But Hello! what's that?1 and
Sally stood up and clutched bold of
him, and they both stared while the
old horses raced onward.
"It's water it's no mirage," said
Walter.
"Yes, it's real water," said Sally.
"There's a hollow there and the
thunder-storm's filled it.
"Must be pretty shallow," said
Walter, an Idea jumping into his
head.
He didn't ask Sally's opinion this
time, but, man fashion, he took bis
chances.
"Sit down and hold on tight, Sally,"
was all he said.
With that he turned out of the road,
whipped tho horses into their best
gallop and drove straight for the water,
which was a shallow pond abont three
hundred yards wide and four or five
times as long.
Maybe it was the sight of the water
that encouraged the ranch-horses;
anyway, they kept the pace so well
that the Indians werektill more than
half a mile behind when the horses
splashed into the pond and were
brought to a walk. Walter drove
them straight forward until water be
gan coming, into the wagon-box.
Then he turned the wagon broadside
to the Indians.
Sally and the boy were now about
a third of the way across the pond,
and they had entered it abont midway
between its ends. This suited Wal
ter's plan exactly; he set the brake
hard so that his horses couldn't move
the wagon against his will, hung his
cartridge-belt abont his neck, jumped
into the water, helped Sally down be
aide him, pulled her little trunk over
so that it concealed and protected
her, and then took his rifle and stood
ready.
If yon will think, yon will soe that
be had a pretty good fortification.
The wagon-box was between him and
the Indians; the enemy conldjneither
ride fast nor run on foot fast out to
where the boy and girl stood more
than waist-deep; they were half under
water, and their heads and chests were
well defended by the .wagon-box and
the trunk; there were only five la
dians and these could not get near
enough to shoot without 0-Tering a far
better mark themselves. .
The plain afforded no cover for -the
redskins nothing but some scattered
bunches of grass and a soapweed here
and there. Sally understood the sit
uation at a glance. .
"Well, you've got an Indian-fight
er a bead on you, Walter," she said,
approvingly.
"I guess we've got them where we
want them," said Walter, for a boy
that could knock over a coyote five
times in seven couldn't expect to miss
Indians.
"I think so," says Sally. "They
can t get within shooting distance at
either end of this pond; they can't
come in wbere we did without your
hitting them, and if they wade across
out of range and try to take us at the
back, all we've - got to do is to cross
to the other side of the wagon, and
then they're in more danger than they
were before."
"I think it's all right," said Walter.
On came the Indians, almost up to
the edge of the pool. Walter was in
tending to disable the foremost one
tha moment his pony's hoofs splashed,
when the whole five suddenly swerved
to the right Then, as if with one
motion, every Indian vanished behind
the body of his pony, apparently
leaving nothing for Walter to shoot at
except the soles of five left feet But
the boy was not unnerved by this
manoeuvre. He fired, and down went
the foremost pony.
The instant the rider was on his
feet Walter covered him with his
Winchester; bnt Walter was not
anxious to shoot any Indians, for he
knew that he could defend Sally with
out doing so, as he now saw something
moving on the plain something of
which the Indians were not one bit
aware.
"Look toward the west," said Wal
ter to Sally.
"I see," said Sally, and her eyes
brightened. "Guess what I was
afraid of, Walter. I was afraid the
Indians would just wait and watch us
till we wonld have to leave this cold
water. Now they'll have no time to
wait until we're frozen out."
Meantime the second Indian had
come up, taken the unhorsed man be
hind him, and galloped out of range
with'the others . Walter let them go un
harmed. For the aspect of affairs had
changed a good deal more, too, than
the Indians knew.
The redskins held a brief consulta
tion at a safe distance; then one rode
off toward one end of the pool, and an
other toward the other end, while the
remaining three began crawling from
bnnch to bunch of grass toward the
wagon. This did not look so danger
ous to the besieged as the Indians
probably supposed.
"That's all very fine." said Walter,
when he noted this manoeuvre, "but
they haven't got half enough time to
get us surrounded. However, i 1 11
have to attend to the crawling ones.
Sally, will you just keep your eye on
tbe two on horseback, and tell me to
look when they stop."
So Sally walked out a few yards,
stooping as she waded, so that the
water was over her shoulders, until
the wagon and horses no longer inter
cepted her view. There she oroncbed,
with just her head out, and watched
the proceedings, and grew exultant
and confident as she saw what the In
dians didn't even suspect.
While she was keeping her lookout,
Walter was making the crawling In
dians very uncomfortable by drop
bias bullets close to them. He wasn't
trying to bit them; Lis hope was to
keep them crawling or lying, so that
they wonld not rise and see what was
coming. There they lay very flat, and
moving with extreme caution until
Sally cried out: "Walter, they've
turned backl No, they're galloping
away! They know, now!"
"Oh, see them run!" cried Walter,
as at that moment the three crawling
Indians sprang to their feet, made a
dash for their ponies, and rode off
helter-skelter.
They had reason. Three angry,
well-armed white men were within
half a mile of them, and riding on like
mad. We had arrived in time.
"Ob, father," said Sally to me, as I
lifted her up out of the water and
kissed her, "Ob, father, I'm so glad
you came in timet Walter wonld
have had to shoot those Indians, and
I don't believe I should have felt
happy again if be had." Youth'r
Companion.
HARDWOOD SAWDUSTS.
The Fine Dusts Used For Tarioua Sped
PurposesFine Bawdnsta Exported.
The fine sawdust of hard woods,
that which is produced in sawing
veneers, is nsed for a variety of
special purposes; fine mahogany saw
dust, for instance, being extensively
used in cleaning furs. There are
sold fifteen or twenty different varie
ties of fine sawdust from as many dif
ferent kjnds of hard woods, those be
ing gathered from the various mills.
While fine mahogany is the sawd jst
most largely used in cleaning furs,
various other kinds are also employed
for that purpose. The use of box
wood sawdust for cleaning jewelry is
traditional. Boxwood sawdust is also
used in polishing silver. Some saw
dusts are need in marquetry work.
Some are used in making pressed
mouldings and ornaments. Sandal
wood sawdust is used in scent bags.
p The production of coarse sawdust
of various hard woods, such as oak
and maple, is greater than the de
mand for them; such sawdusts may
be burned in the mills where they are
produced. Coarse mahogany sawdust
may be sold for commonplace uses, or
employed as fuel where it is made;
but for the fine sawdusts of all the
hard woods there is more or less de
mand; for many of them there is
ready market The most co3tly of
fine hardwood sawdust is boxwood,
of which the supply is less than the
demand.
Fine hardwood sawdusts are shipped
from this city to various parts of the
United States; they are exported in
considerable quantities to Canada and
some ace sent to England. Sun.
Sleep-Walkers' Freaks.
A well-known physician gives an ao
count of an Irish gentleman whoswam
more than two miles down a river, got
athoro and was subsequently discov
ered sleeping by tbe roadside, alto
gether unconscious of the extraordin
ary feat he had accomplished.
Professor Fishnell, of Bale, writes
of a yonng student of Wurtemburg
who used to play hide-and-seek while
fast asleep. His fellow students knew
of his propensity and when he began
walking threw bolsters after him,
which he always eluded, jumping over
bedsteads and other obstacles in his
w7-
A man was once discovered at I
o'clock in the morning in a neighbor's
garden engaged in prayer, evidently
nnder the impression that he was in
church, but otherwise in a deep sleep.
A young girl given to sleep-walking
was in the habit of imitating the vio
lin with her lips, giving the prelim
inary tuning and scraping and flourish
ing with the utmost fidelity. It puzzled
her physician a great deal nutil he
learned that when an infant the girl
lived in a room adjoining a fiddler,
who often performed npon his instru
ment within her hearing. Londor
x'it-Bits.
Gaeet Room Toothpowdsr.
Passenger Traffic Manager McCor-
mick, of the Big Four, tells of a friend
of his who was visiting some relatives.
He was given tbe spare room and slept
well. In the morning, desiring to
clean his teeth, he looked through his
valise for his tooth brush and box of
tooth powder. Ho found tho brush,
but had come away from home with
out the powder. Looking about he
discovered a small jar on the mantel.
He opened it and saw it contained a
grayish powder. "Here is some tooth
powder," said he, and wetting his
tooth brush he dipped it into the
powder and gave his teeth a good
scrubbing. When he weut down
stairs to breakfast he said to his
hostess:
"You must excuse me for taking
the liberty, but as I came away from
home without my tooth powder I used
some of that you have in the little jar
on the mantel in my room."
"Why, Charley," said the hostess,
"that isn't tooth powder in that jar;
it's Aunt Ann's ashes." Cincinnati
Inquirer.
Torpedo Boats.
The average distance of discovery ol
a torpedo boat by the searchlight from
a battleship has been calculated to be
781 yards, and tbe greatest distance
2000 yards. Thus, taken the distance
at which the torpedo cau be fired
ith effect at 500 yards, it will be gen
erally found tbat a torpedo boat will
have to cross about 300 yards under
fire from the ship she is attacking.
and it will take the little craft about
half a minute to do this.
A Fontlr Writer's Harden.
"I find your political terms very
puzzling," remarked the foreignet
who was trying to gather material for
book on American institutions.
For example, to rotate means to
move in a circle. A ring also means
a circle. Now I am told that when a
ring controls yonr offices they don't
rotate any more:" Chicago Tribune.
PUZZLE DEPARTMENT.
The solutions to these puzzles will ap
pear in a succeeding issue.
19
S3 Twalre Aoacrammatla Cities and
Towns of the United States.
1. Lion stew. 2. Tin chewers. 3.
Oil jet 4. Tar pole. 5. Lion car.
6. Large bugs. 7. Evil Land. 8.
Ten blue veils. 9. Brown tails. 10.
Labor time. 11. Farrville. 12.
Lirely Sam.
7. A Drop-Towel Quotation.
B-tt-r -tt-ek t-n
r-bb-d b- -n-th--f.
sh-d-ws th-n fb-
" 73. Fire Be head in en ts.
- 1. Behead to form, and have aged.
2. Contracted, and have a dart. 3.
Cost, and have a kind of food. 4.
Hasty, and have a kind of tree. 5.
Closed, and have an humble dwelling.
5. To reproach, and have a relation.
70. An Arithmetical Problem.
A engaged B to labor 20 days, with
the understanding that he was to re
ceive $5 a day for every day he worked,
and to forfeit $2 a day for every day
he was idle. At the end of the time
he received $86; how many days was
he idle?
ANSWERS TO PIIEVIOC3 PUZZLES.
69. Six Beheadments H-air;
s-hore; 1-aid: y-our: s-hut; s-pin.
70. Four Famous Women Kosa
Bonhenr; Grace Darling; Jenny Lind;
Joan of Arc.
71. A Charade Carnation.
72. A Sfnare
SHIP
HIDE
IDEA
P E A B
NO MORE SIXTEEN-INCH CTJNS.
First and Probably the Last For Uncle
Bam Will Be Tested This Tear.
The first and probably the last
monster gun to be built in this conn-
try is nearing completion at Watervliet
arsenal, and, if nothing goes amiss,
may be submitted to its firing tests in
the fall. The finished gun will be
five feet three' inches at the muzzle,
Its total length will be a few inches
nnder fifty feet. The powder chamber
will be eighteen inches in diameter by
nine feet in length and will hold for a
full charge over half a ton of brown
powder. The projectile will weigh
2370 pounds. It will leave the muzzle
with a velocity of 2000 leet per
second, and at this velocity the flying
mass will have .a striking energy of
64,034 foot-tons, or sufficient to lift
sixty-four of the biggest freight loco
motives ten feet in tbe air. At the
muzzle the shell would punch a six-teen-inch
hole through an iron plate
over a yard in thickness, and at.
two miles distance it would pass
through a twenty-seven and a half
inch plate.
Notwithstanding its great power
Undo Sam will probably never bnild
another, for while the superiority of
this kind of gun was incontestable
eight or ten years ago, it does not
compare in efficiency with ordnance
of the modern type. For a given ap
propriation Uncle Sam can, by build
ing twelve-inch guns, secure over
twice as many guns of much greater
penetration and efficiency.
A French Pickpocket.
There is a dilettantism even in
thieving. A Parisian pickpocket who
is now enjoying a well-earned rest
from the excitements of his profession,
boa revealed some of his very curious
methods. At one time he donned the
Uniform of an officer of marines, dec
orated with the Legion of Honor, nod
found his way into the sooiety of
naval officers; much to their detriment
and to his own enrichment At an
other time, in the guise of a priest, he
visited ecclesiastical establishments,
and under the pretext of charity re
lieved the holy fathers of their little
superfluous cash. Then again he
would array himself in ordinary civ
ilian dresi, representing himself as a
silk merchant, and would have bales
of that commodity sent to his address.
Then the dealer in bicycles became
the victim of this versatile swindler.
At last, as bis repertoire necessarily
became limited, and as his fame had
preceded him to one of his intended
victims, he had the misfortune to be
recognized and handed over to the
police. Westminster Gazette.
The Beiccars' Queen.
Mendicants are to have their nominal
queen at one of the forthcoming
carnival masqueiades. The person
selected to aot as Beine des Gueux is
not, however, of the begging fraternity,
and her title only symbolizes an old
fashioned custom, which is to be re
vived. She is a young woman of
eighteen, or thereabouts, who, every
day, helps her parents to sell cow
heel and calves' heads in the central
markets. Her reign is to begin and
end on the Mi-Careme festival, when
she will shut np shop, and, arrayed in
gala robes, will be carried in triumph
around Paris, with an accompanying
king and maids of honor. Such fetes,
with their symbolio attractions, form
the chief amusements of the Paris
market people, who rise early and
work hard throughout the year.
Paris Correspondence of London Tele
graph. The Flare For Advertisement.
The newspaper is the legitimate
place of the advertisement. Custom
has established it, and the successful
advertisers, without exception, aro
those who use its columns. People
are educated to neuron the news
paper, and because this u so it is the
one proper place for the advertise
ment Circulars, handbills, dodgers,
etc., are but makeshifts and unolever
imitations t the original article.
Newspaper Maker.
BARN-YARD'S SOUTHERLY CORNER.
TVben the frost is white on the fodder
stack.
The haws in the thornbuah withered and
black.
When tbe near fields flash In a diamond
mall
And the far hills glimmer, opaline pals.
Oh, merrily shines the morning sua
In the barn-yard's southerly corner.
When tbe ruts tn the cart-road ring like
steel,
And tbe birds to the kitchen door come for
their meal,
And tbe snow at the gate is lightly drifted
And over the woodpile thinly sifted,
Oh, merrily shines the morning sun
In tbe barn-yard's southerly corner.
When the brimming bucket steams at tbe
well.
And tbe axe on the beech-knot sings like a
bell,
When the pond is loud with tbe skaters'
calls,
And tbe horses stamp in the littered stalls.
Oh, merrily shines the morning sun
la the barn-yard's southerly corner.
When tbe hay lies loose on the wide barn
floor,
And a sharp smell pnffs from the stable
door,
When the pitchfork handle stings la the
hand.
And tbe stanchioned cows for the milking
stand.
Oh, merrily shines the morning sun
In the barn-yard's southerly eorncr.
The steers, let out for a drink and a run.
Seek the warm corner one by one.
And the huddilug sheep. In their dusty
wbite.
Nose at tbe straw in the pleasant light,
When merrily shines the morning sun
In the barn-yard's southerly corner.
Charles O. D. Roberts, in Youth's Companion.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"I feel all run down," said tho
jocular citizen as the cyclist rode over
bim.
Jbnkins "How do yon like Miss
Doneup?" Hawkins "Oh, she's not
as bad as she is painted." Judge.
Penelope "Has your flance a san
guine temperament?" Perdita "Yes
he even thinks I am going to marry
him."
"It's a good town, and it's like your
bald head, Weary," sud Dusty Rhodes
to his partner; "there's no lock-up
there.,'
List!" she said, "oh, list to mo!"
He listed to ber.
And when he had listed low enough-
lie kissed ber.
-Life.
"Every genius gets in debt," "OI
course, it takes plain, ordinary,
humdrum, commonplace man to keep
out" Detroit Free Press.
Pigg "Say! Why do you call that
fellow 'Asphyxiate?' That is a peculiar
nickname." Fenn "Because his last
name is Gaskill." Princeton Tiger.
"As soon as Jibson was appointed
to office he had his picture taken.'
"Cabinet?" "No; ordinary clerk
ship." Philadelphia North American
If yon call a man a lion
He will always be your friend,
Dut just bint that he's a bear, and
Ho will bate you to the end.
Cleveland Leader.
An orator said to his audience: "1
am speaking for the benefit of pos
terity," when some one shouted: "Tes,
and if you don't get done soon, they'll
be here!"
Mrs. Tracey "Do you realize, my
dear, that you have never done any
thing to save yonr fellow men any
suffering?" Tracy "Didn't I marry
you." Spare Moments.
Doctor "Well, Mrs. Smith, if con
venient to you aud to your husband,
we'll say Thursday." Mm. Smith
"It'll suit me, and so it'll suit him
he's wery tame!" Judge.
Orator's Friend "Dense throng, ,
wasn't it?" Orator "Dense? I
should say so! I tried every story I
had on 'em, and didn't get a singlo
laugh." Chicago Tribune.
' Did you hear why- the Smiths
quarreled?" "I understand Smith
insisted that tho cost of their sitting
in church should come out of Mrs.
Smith's allowauce for clothes."
ruck. t
Dorothy (noticing with great dis
tress a rip in her doll, whence the
sawdust was spilling out) "Ob,
mamma, please do something qnick!
Dolly 's jnst sawdusting herself to
death." Judge.
Blobbs "What nonsense it is for
newspapers in their accounts of wed
dings to describe the brides being led
to the altar." Slobbs "How so?"
Blobbs "Why, most of the girla
could find their way in the dark."
Tit Bits.
Court Proceedings by Telephone.
A litigation was' np in a maia
trate's court at Castalian Springs,
eight miles from Gallatin. It was
during the cold weather, and J. Tom -Durham,
of Gallatin, was counsel for
one of the litigants. The trial was
held in a country store in which there
was a telephone. Eight miles' ride
through the cold was too much for
the constitution of the lawyer. A
happy thought suggested itself to the
attorney he wonld use the telephone,
conduct tbe suit and remain in his
office by the fireside.
The case was called, all the wit
nesses were present and the suit be
gan.. Attorney Durham arranged for
an assistant, who was to stand at the
telephone and act as interlocutor,
while he did the rest The attorney
carried ou a careful and rigid ex
amination of tbe witnesses, even cross
examining the opposing sides. At
the conclusion of the evidence Lawyer
Durham made a strong and effectivo
argument, which was repeated to the
oourt by the man at the telephone at
that end of the line. Nashville Ban
ner.
A Canse For Commotion.
A pew-opener in England greatly
astonished a group of women who
were constructing evergreen mottoes
and wreaths for Christmas by an
nouncing that she bad found "a stray
hen a-laying in the pulpit" Their
excitement was calmed when she pro
duced large green "N" which had
"strayed" from some text or legend.