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VOL. XXXI. NO." 41. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JAN. 25, 1899. SI. 00 PER ANNUM.
Dewey is a man of business, is well
as a Lard fighter. lie Las done well
to make a contract (or raising three of
the Spanish warships sank id Manila
bay and patting them in repair, all for
only $500,000.
. lie did not forget. A Chicago man
died -and left $50,000 to the newsboys
of that'city, the interest on the amount
to be expended for their benefit for
ninety -nine years. lie had once boon
a newsboy himself..
. The metrio system is being consid
ered by the Daaish Diet, with a view
of. substituting it for the confnsing
Danish systeio of weights and meas
ures. The general opinion is that the
metrio system will be adopted and tho
law establishing it will at once go into
offeot.
. A new controversy is added to tho
internal agitations of tho vast domains
of the Czar. A ukase has been issued
by tho Russiau Miuisler of Education,
M. Bogolerow, forbidding the wearing
of oorsets in any oducutional institu
tion. This terrible order is obeye
obediently enough by the more veuile
girls, but the maidens who, while still
pursuing higher studies, consider
themselves young ladies, aro raising
a chatter of protest. If thoy wish to
cramp their waists, they claim the
feminine right to do as they pleaBo.
.Instead of packing these rebellious
young' women off to Siberia,' the
"Littlo Father" has caused an eminont
soioutia1. to write a learned brochure
upon tho evils of tight lacing. But it
would seem the part of wisdom to
havo auother essay written upou how
conducive to beauty aro unbound
waists. Once convinced upou that
point and the pouting misses of Rus
sian semjuaries would give tho
patornal Government no more trouble.
Commercial life appears to be prov
ing more and more attractive to col
lege men, if statistics rebently gathered
by a Yalo professor are to bo takeu as
fairly representative, says Brad
street's. The statistics are derived
from tho records of the academic de-
. partment at Tale, bat they refer to
the vocations of about 7500 graduates,
, and porhaps it is only fair to regard
them in a genoral way as typical.
The figures show but little chango in
tho proportion of graduates following
the law during the century, that pro
fession in each scholastic generation
enlisting about a third of the' gradu
ates. At the beginning of the century
the ministry, which in the earliest
days of the Yale attraoted a larger
proportion of tho graduates, followed
the law as a close second. Tho pro
portion attracted by the law hn iu
the interval suffered little chango, but
the ministry is not chosen by nearly
so many graduates as formerly, and
its former place seems now to be
taken by the mercantile vocation,
which enlists about one-third of the
graduates at present. This vocation,
indeed, seems to be growing moro at-
t.rativA fn nnivArnif v.Krorl man nnrlai
modern conditions, and it may be
that iu the near future it will attract
even a largor proportion than at
present.
For many years English manufac
turers of cotton fabrics and other tex
tiles have achieved an unenviable rep
utation from their practice of weight
ing their goods by means of chemicals
and other adulterants, observes the
Dry (roods Eoon smist. It is largely
owing to tho prevalence of such
methods that the honest-mado Aineri-
: can cottons have in China, East Africa
and certain other markets, where
their merits are known, withstood the
assaults of British .manufacturers and
merchants. The fraudulent character
of mauy of the British goods- having
been brought to the attention of the
Manchester . Chamber of Commerce
has been Tde the subjjf of a special
. report bjao of the Committees of
that body, which contains somo rathor
astonishing revelation. Not only
sheetings, but shirtings, flannelettes,
Diannets, linings, ticks, etc., having
been shown on analysis to be heavily
adulterated with the chlorates of zino
and magnesium, Epsom salts and other
chemicals. In one case a blaukct
weighing seven pounds was shown to
owe one pound of its weight to such
treatment. And iu many instances
woolens were found to bo as much
adulterated as cottons. Such fabrics,
says the committee's report, are dan
gerous to health, and this statement is
endorsed by physicians. JuBt what is
to be done in the matter is not yet
known, but it cannot be doubted that
the ventilation of such methods will
result in either the enforcement of ex
isting laws or the enactment of new
legislation to cover the case. Iu tho
meantime, the American consumer
may rejoice that at least the great ma
jority of the cotton goods ho buys aro
free from similar adulteration.
WHEN I WAKE UPJN THE MORNIN'.
When I wake up In the roornln', In the laugliln', smllln' raornln',
With my soul keyed like a Addle an' my heart keyed like a luto,
An' memory-maids eomo trlppln' an' a-gttdln' an' a-slipptn'
An' 0 ood In1 all my heart-house with the faint notes of tbelr flutn,
Then my lips Jos' long to utter little songs, that kind o' flutter
- Bound tbe earthly oage that eoops them an' would fly up In the light,
An' to my sonl all yearnin', little llrefly thoughts come buruln'
I An' a brlngln' spirit lanterns that would lead it oat of nlgbt
When I wake up In tbe mornln'I
Wheal wake up in the mornln', in that solemn, slloct mornin'.
After long, long years of slumber an' long, long years of sleep,
When my spirit's bird bos rested In the heavenly air it breasted
An' its golden pinions tested for tbelr flight across the Deep
Lord, I know my soul will flutter up to boaven, an' will utter '
In a clearer note the songs it
An' those fitful, flory flashes from
Will be altars or star-lnconse
wuen i wave up in
AN UNPREMEDITATED THEFT.
BY FRANCES
N her front garden
under the big wil
low sat Mrs. Spread
brow. Behind her
stowd the trim cot
tage, and in the
grass, almost at her
feet, gamboled Ed
dy, hor youngest
born, and tho new
black and white
puppy.
From tho gyra-
tinns nf 1I1A twn
teW MAVWCifUTI "
a.ntiLif -J&t&J young creatures on
the grass, ' Mrs. Spreadbrow let her
eyos wauder dreamily across the bay
to the irregular sky line of the big
city, whore she knew that Mr. Spread
brow was busily engagod iu convert
ing bales of cotton into crisp bank
notes.
Ah, thought she, happily, she had
much to be thankful for, the best bus
band in the world, a promising fam
ily, a charming home on Staton Isl
and and but at this juncture her rev
erie was broken iu upon by a sound
of footsteps oo the gravel walk lead
ing from the front gate to tho house.
and looking up, sho behold tho com
fortable figure of her dear friend, Mrs.
Townley,
There followed a scene, such as any
lady who has been surprised by tho
sudden and unexpected ariival of
valued friend can readily imagine. In
the course- of it Mrs. Townley was
conveyed to the parlor of the trim cot
tage, 0'8it and "cool off ' before go
ing upstairs.
.."Take off your bonnet, dear," said
her cheery hostess. "I will put
your satchel and parcel and things
on this chair. O, I have so much to
tell you about and scold you for; why
haven t you come ilowu before?
In the midst of Mrs. Towuley's ex
planations as to why she had absented
herself, tuOTfr burst through the open
rrencn winaow, line tne advent of a
whirlwind, the puppy, Sport, in full
cry, followed by Eddy.
Bound and round the room they cir
cled for some moments, and then,
obedient to the oft-repeated commands
of his mother, the little youth turned
aud embraced their visiViv with much
heartiness, Tho peace fhat followed
these demonstrations was rudely put
to night by the click of the front guto,
and the cry from Eddy, who was sta
tioned at tne winaow, announcing "a
lady coming."
"Somobody to call. How provok
ing!" said Mrs. Spreadbrow, with a
pucker of her plaoid brow. "Come,
Maria, let's go upstairs before Delia
goes to the door. There goes the belli
Never mind your things."
In an instant the room was cleared
of all save the black and white puppy,
who shambled about for a moment,
then trotted laboriously oat into the
garden by the same routohehad come
in.
"It's a young lady, Mrs. Spread
brow, and sho says she wants to see
you on business," announced Delia, a
moment later, thrusting hor head
through the door of the room to which
Mrs. Spreadbrow and her frid had
rotated.
"Dear met what can she want?"
The lady's voice expressed as much
irritation as that kindly organ could
embody.
As she entered the parlor, a tall,
slim girl, who had been standing
nervously in the middle of the room,
advanced to meet her, and tho ioy
tone and mauner that Mrs. Spread-
Jtow had determined to assume to
ward the disturber of her seclusion
melted quite away as the pretty youiifi
creature lifted a pair of sad dark eyes
to her face and said in au emltr
rassed voice:
"Please pardon mo for intruding. I
have come to to "
"Fray sit down," interrupted Mrs.
Spreadbrow, cheerily.
"Thank yon," said the girl, and
dropping into a chair. "I will not
detain you long. I have here a chil
dren's history " and from the
depths of a roomy satchel bIio pro
duced a small book "that Catoham
tc Tasam are publishing "
Ah! Now Mis. Spreadbrow knew
the worst. "But I don't want it,"
she said, gently.
"It won't do any any harm to
to look at it." The girl spoke as if
trying to repeat a lesson, and with a
wistful look in her face.
"Yes, it will; because if I let you
Bhow it to mo I mity Buy it, and I
really don't waut4it."
"Nobody does; but you have put
your rejection of it very kindly," said
the girl, rising to go.
Her voice trembled, and the smile
she managed to screw her pretty lips
into was far from cheerful. Mrs.
Spreadbrow was touched. There was
something so pathetio about tho voice
and manner, and sho was so very
yonng and so very prettry. The
I
herly l-'y laid her hand pa 'the
. nying soft'7;
only tried to sing below.
the pale hope of my ushos,
in the glory of Thy glow
tue mornin'i
John Trotwood Mooro.
A. SCHNEIDER.
7S
"Let me give you a glass of lemon
ado before you set out again in the
heat O!" For the littlo book agent
had turned away to hide the tears sho
could not restrain.
"Excuse mc," she murmured. "It's
the hot weather, and and not being
accustomed to the work. I I began
only yesterday, and it's a long trip to
and lrom New York."
"Sit down," urged Mrs. Spread
brow, gently, "and I will go and get
lemonade."
When she returned the girl had
quite recovered and was sitting quietly
at tho window smiling at the gambols
of tho puppy. Sho apologized for
having given way to her emotions,
sipped her drink and then rose again
to go:
"Thank you so much for your
kindness," she 'said warmly, "and
goodbyl"
"Stop," exclaimed Mis. Spread
brow, "I've changed my niind about
the book, I'll take it."
"You really need it?" with a per
ceptible brightening of the eyes.
"I cau't get on without a history
for Eddy. I never thought of
Sport's baring destroyed the one he
bud."
When the necessary negotiations
had beeu concluded and tho pretty
book agent had departed, Mrs. Spread
brow rotumed to her guest with many
apologies for her long absence and
bubbling over with the pathetio ro
manoe she had woven from the ma
terials furnished by the youug girl's
words and manner.
The two ladies talked over this and
siiniliar instances, until they were
both in a tearful state, and Mrs.
Townley, to turu the tide of fooling,
proposed going into tho parlor and
opening tho nubbly littlo package
she had brought, and which she said
contained some trifles for the chil
dren. This proposition was hailed with
joy by Mrs. Spreadbrow. Mrs.
Townley was in the net of untying the
last string, when sho suddenly be
thought her of her black satchel in
which it was her custom to carry her
purse, aud which had been deposited
with her bonnet aud parasol in a chair
in tho corner of the room. With the
precipitancy invariably displayed by
her sex at such jnuctures, she rose
and stepped over to get it. The
parasol aud bonuct were on the chair,
but not the satchal.
"Are you sure you didn't take it
into the library?" asked Mrs. Spread
brow, after the parlor had been
searched.
"I know i didn't," responded Mrs
Townley, with tremulous irritation.
"But of courso we can look."
The satchel was not in tho library,
the only room occupied by the ladies
since Mrs. Townley's arrival; nor did
it turn up anywhere in the house.
which with anxious inconsistency
was searched from top to bottom
Mrs. Townley had become very pale
and Mrs. bpreadbrow trembled with
excitement and chagrin.
"O, this is dreadful," she said at
east. "I I hate to think it possible,
but it must have beeu stolen. How
much was in the purse?"
"A hundred dollars," replied Mrs.
Jownley. "I brought it with me for
safety. But who who? There has
been no one "
"The littlo book agent," casped
Mrs. Spreadbrow. "Sho is tho only
person who bus been in the parlor be
side myself sinca you left it. Is it
possible can it be that that inno
cent-looking O, dear!"
But Mrs. Spreadbrow was a woman
of action, albeit mild and gentle, and
she sprang to her feet fiercely clench
ing her small soft fists. "I II follow
her!" she criod. ."Do you go one way,
Maria; I will go another, and Doha
and the children shall go in other
directions. O, we will run her down I
The little hypocrite!"
Iu a few moments the house was
empty of occupants, barring the cook,
who stood with her elbows on the
fenco and watched the departing
search party, and the black and white
puppy, who, in his foolish way,
growled at and worried something
under the big willow.
With the hot August sua pouring
down upon their heads, the pursuers
scurried from house to house, while
with what Mrs. Spreadbrow termed
the little intense cuuning of a thief,"
the little book agent managed ever to
elude them.
At last Mrs. Spreadbrow found a
maid servant who said she had seen
the girl enter the railway station, and
that if Mrs. Spreadbrow hurried she
could overtake her before tho arrival
of the train for St. George. Station-
ward the anxious lady rped, hor
heart palpitating with hope, fear and
indignation, intermixed with a spice
of uncertainty.
hat should she do if the girl re
fused to give up the pun e. Ah, she
knew; she would get on the tram,
find a policeman at St. George, and in
tercept her as she stepped on the
boat.
She reached the station just in timo
to see the book agent's skirt , whisk
through the door of aforward car; she
herself was hauled onto the last car
by an obliging brakeman just as the
train moved off.
Arrived at St. George, Mrs. Spread
brow hurriedly accosted a policeman,
explained that the young woman in
the gray linen dress, carrying the
black satchel, had committed a theft,
and urged him excitedly to detain her.
The officer hesitated a moment, and
thon interposing his portly form be
tween the young girl and the gang
plank, touchod her lightly ou the arm
and said, pointing to Mrs. Spread
brow: "Do yon know this lady?"
"Yes that is, I went to her house
aud she -was "
"Will you come out of this crowd?''
said Mrs. Spreadbrow, hor firmness
suddenly forsaking her, "I I want
to speak to you."
"But I will miss my boat," ex
postulated the girl nervously. My
mother will be waiting for mo and
what can you mean by calling a police
man to stop me?" she coucluded with
frightened eyes, as if a full realization
of the situation had but just flashed
upon her.
"The fact is," explained the police
man, "this lady wants mo to arrest
you for theft, but maybe you can ex
plain certain suspicions circum
stances." Tho girl was white to tho lips now,
and tho look of despairing fright in her
eye3 was pitiful to see.
"For theft mo for theft?" she
said with stiff lips.
"O, do come whero il is quiet,"
urged the accuser, looking as dis
tressed as the accused, and then the
three went into tho ferry house.
"Sit down," said Mrs. Spreadbrow,
weakly, when they had reached a
quiet corner of the big room.
"Thank you, I prefer to stand," re
plied the girl, proudly. "And may I
ask what you accuse me of stealing?"
"I 1," said Mrs. Spreadbrow,
trembling before the pale "little
thief," "we think you took Mrs.
Townley's purse out of my parlor this
morning; you were the only person
in tho room beside myself between
the time she left it there aud the time
we found it gone, and "
"My God!" murmured tho book
agent, dropping into a seat and cover
ing her face with her hands. Presently
she recovered hersolf, and, turning to
the policeman, said: "Search my
satchel, please. And you," to Mrs.
Spreadbrow, "you may search my
person; and may God forgive you!"
"O, my dear, I can't I can't; when I
look at you I can't be bo But
everything's against you." Mrs.
Spreadbrow's eyes were full of tears,
aud her voice trembled.
"There ain't no purse here bu't this
one," remarked the policeman, who
had been rummaging through the
contents of the black satchel, holding
up a slim pocket book.
"That's mine. Look throngh it;
you will find just twenty cents." The
book agent spoke very calmlv.
"That's right," he assented, put
ting the purse back. "But, of course,
the money may bo hid on tho lady's
person, 'he added cautiously.
"Here it is! Here it is!" cried a
pauting but triumphant voice, and
Mrs. Townley, flushed aud excited.
rushed toward the trio waving a
much-mauled Russian leather bag,
such as some ladies are fond of carry
ing their handkerchiefs and purses in.
"It was that wretched black and
white puppy! He must have taken it
out of the parlor, aud Eddie found
him chewing it to pieces in the
garden. Why, what is the matter,
Hattie?" for Mrs. Spreadbrow had
dropped into a seat, and, regardless
of enrions eyes, was weeping copiously.
"I I I'm so sorry. But things
did look so against you. Pie please
forgive me."
The little book agent wavered a mo
ment, indignation, scorn and pity
chasing each other across her face.
Then she slipped down beside tho
distressed littlo lady and taking one
of her limp hands, said simply:
"I do forgive you. Pray don't cry.
Bat please, next time you miss any
thing, be sure the black and white
puppy hasn't taken it before you de
cide thatauybody elso has."
She could not refrain from tho mild
shot, and though it was tremulously
aimed, ft did not miscarry but went
straight to Mrs. Spreadbrow's heart,
whero it ha3 lodged ever since."
And so it was tho black and white
puppy! lie is a sedato dog now and
a great favorite of Miss Amelia Banks
ex-book agent who declares .that
if it had not been for him sho would
never have obtained her present
lucrative and congenial position in
Mr. Spreadbrow's office, where the
painful memories of her experienco as
book agent and other painful
memories as well are fast fading into
oblivion. Boston Globe.
Bllntature Oxen,
The Sacred oxen of Ceylon are de
scribed by a recent writer. The
largest specimen never excoeds thirty
inches in height. Tho Marquis of
Canterbury has one presented to him
in 1891, which is now about ten years
of age, and only ten inches tall. Not
withstanding their smallness they are
very nseful in Ceylon, where, it is
said, four of them are able to draw a
two-wheeled cart writh a driver and
200 pounds of merchandise, sixty or
seventy miles in a day.
A Medical S poon.
Medicine cau be measured very
handily by a new spoon which has no
handle and is attached to the bottlo
by a wire bracket clamping the neck
and provided with two rings in which
the spoon is pivoted to retaiu its posi
tion when the bottlo is tilted,
PUZZLE DEPARTMENT.
i
The solutions to theso puszles will ap
peal la a suooeedlDg issue.
.".3. A Corrugated Column,
I. A fast runner. 2. Amusement.
3. Social distinction. 4. An excla
mation denoting triumph. 5. Our
club word. 6. A house of entertain
ment. 7. A military musical instru
ment. Centrals Down A naval hero of
the Civil War.
84. A Square.
1. An evergreen oak. 2. The olive
tree. 3. An ancient kingdom of
Spain. 4. The language spoken by
a race of islanders in the Irish Sea.
35. Six Pied Cities or Pennsylvania.
1. Caanstrie. 2. Hauckohnum. 3.
Twoamillspir. 4. Datanow. 5. Yux
wutspnnea. C. Bbrrgmhesuea.
30. Five Ueheadmenta.
1. Behead ono of the "lungs of a
city," and have an old-time vessel.
2. A celestial body, and have one of
the "meu behind the guns." 3. To
send off, and havo a part of tho body.
4. A foot-covering, aud have a garden
implement. 5. A plant, and have au
apartment.
SOLUTIONS TO P11KVIOU3 PUZZLUS.
29. A Crossword Enigma Mother.
30. A Pied Verse
Tho lovely town was white with apple
blooms, ' And the great elms o'erbead
Dnrk shadows wove on their aerial looms;
Shot through with golden thread.
Longfellow.
31. Additions 1, covenant; 2,
Clio; 3, mops; 4, violet; 5, million;
6, candid; 7, civics; 8, Balfour; 9,
New Mexico; 10, Doddridge; 11, six;
12, lixiviate.
32. Hidden Housefurnishings 1,
iitove; 2, stand; 3, sofa; 4, bed; 5,
carpet; 6, chair; 7, stool; 8, table; 9,
ottoman; 10, piano.
The Spartan and the Sybarite.
Should one, then, train himself to
lift heavy weights, to bear heavy bur
dens, to eat coarse food, to go with
out sleep, in tho every-day walks of
life? In short, should one be a Spar
tan, daily depriving himself of the
luxuries of life, or should one be a
Sybarite, indulging in all luxury aud
pleasure, and offering heavy prem
iums to those who will invent any new
form of enjoyment for tho body and
its five senses? It is well to feel that
one can be a Spartan if the occasion
warrants it, and if one lives as a
Sybarite it is not possible all at once
to rise to the situation that demands
the endurance of a Spartan. Never
theless, it should not be forgotten that
it requires a great deal of a certaiu
kind of endurance, perhaps greater
after its kind, to bo a Sybarite than to
be a Spartan. Think of the prince of
Sybarites that is, the man umong
them all who was most noted for his
luxury who, when ho went a-wooing
into a distant country, took with him
on his journey a thousand cooks!
Think of the heights of endurauce in
the way of digestion that it required
to perform the gastronomic feats which
would show a just appreciation of the
results of their labors! To meet tho
exactions of society to-day, in all its
phases, requires unlimited powers of
endurauce. The burden aud heat of
the day may be borne by the Spartan
laborers and mechanics, but tho bur
don and heat of the day aud night are
borne by the upper classes of the
great cities. More than the African
explorer, more than the soldier in
active service, do they need staying
powers and tho height of endurance,
for it has been rightly said they go
"the pace that kills." Harper's Ba
ear. Cardinal WoUey's Hat.
An interesting relio has just been
presented to Christ Church in the
shape of tho Cardinal's hat, which
once belonged to its founder, Cardinal
Wolsey. Unlike many relics, the hat
boasts an authentio and fairly com
plete pedigree. It appears to have
been stolen by Bishop Burnett, who
was clerk to the royal wardrobe and
Bishop of Salisbury in William III. 's
timo. It then passed into tho hands
of Horace Walpole. One of the latest
owners of the hat was Charles Kean,
who wore it while playing tho part of
Cardinal Wolsey in Shakespoare's
"Henry VIII." The hat is in good
condition, but tho tassels, which are
so prominontly represented on tho
Christ Church coat-of-arms, have been
lorn off. Westminster Gazette.
Did Oood For Once.
He knocked at the back door of a
suburban house and the cook opened
it. He was a sinister-looking fellow,
and the cook held ou to tho door.
"Lady of the house?" ho inquired,
grufily.
"No," trembled the cook.
"Master of the house here?"
"No."
"None of the people in?"
"Nono but me," and sho tried to
shut tho door.
"Aw, como off," he growled, setting
his foot against it; "I'll come in and
have a good feed. Let go that door."
She let go tho door, aud tho tramp
went in aud fell into the arms of a
burly policeman who was conrting the
cook contrary to ordors. Boston
Journal.
Transcontinental Tracks.
England's proposal to build an iron
road right through Africa is in part
conditional ou France making tracks
the other way, Philadelphia Times.
r
TO TELL HARMLESS SNAKES.
Bow the Folaonou Reptile Inject Tbolr
Venom Into the Flesh.
Harmless snakes generally havo
two rows of teeth in the upper jaw
and one in the lower, theso teeth
being slender, sharp, comparatively
short, and not set in sockets, as these
animals do not tear or mutilate theit
food. The teeth are simply used as
hooks by which the food is drawn into
the snake's throat. The bones of the
jaw being movably joined together,
the teeth are advanced on one side,
securing a hold on the prey, and then
on the other side, in which way the
swallowing is accomplished. Poison
ous snakes have two long, sharp
fangs which appear to be flattened out
like a knife blade and then bent np,
forming a groove, in some cases
forming a closed tube, open, however,
at both ends, tho upper end of which
is fastened to a bone in the cheek,
which moves with case, so that the
fangs when not in use can be folded
or packed away. The saliva of all
animals, even man, contains poison;
though in man it is greatly diluted and
of use in assisting digestion. Iu the
poisonous snakes it is collected into
sacs or glands placed on each side of
the upper jaw, says the New York
Sun. A delicate canal extends from
the poison gland forward under the
ye to the edge of the jaw and there
opens into the fang, and to use the
poison the snake has but to strike the
prey; as the fangs enter the flesh tho
muscles of the jaw press upon the
poison glands, squeeze the poison
through the littlo canal down through
the hollow of tho poison fang in the
wound. There is a most ingenious
urangement in the fang. The open
ing is not at the very tip, whero it
ivould be liable to get plugged up with
skin and flesh, but it is a littlo way
up in front of the groove, so that the
sharp point goes in first and makes a
tittle hole into which the poison flows.
Light Fare.
Parents of growing boys have been
heard to say that there was practically
no limit to the amount of food their
sons could devour. It is doubtful,
however, whether one of these parents
;ould read with any feeling of pleas
are the account of tho boyish experi
ence of Leigh Hunt, tho English au
thor. He was sent to school at Christ's
Hospital iu 1792. In his autobiog
raphy he tells of the schoolboy faro of
that time:
Our breakfast was bread and water.
The bread consisted of the half of a
three-penny loaf, oo-jording to the
prices then current. This was not
much for growing boys, who had had
nothing to eat from six or seven o'clock
the preceding evening.
For dinner we had the same quan
tity of bread, with meat only every
other day, and that consisting of a
small slice, such as would be given to
1 child three or four years old. Yet
9ven that, with all our hunger, we
were very often left half eaten the
meat was so tough.
On the other days we had a milk
porridge, ludicrously thin; or rice
milk, which is better. There was no
vegetables or puddings. Once a month
we had ronst beef; and twice a year (I
blush to think of tho eagerness with
which it was looked for!) a dinner of
pork. Ono was roast, and the other
was boiled; and ou the latter occasion
we had our only pudding, which was
of peas.
For supper we had a like piece of
bread, .with butter or cheese; and
theu to bed, "with what appetite we
might." Youth's Companiou.
Invitation on an Umbrella.
Daring the afternoon of tho recent
snowstorm a young woman of Phila
delphia dressed in the height of fashion,
started to walk down Chestnut street
under the protection of an umbrella.
At the time the snow was coming down
In soft clinging flakes, and the um
brella's surface was soon covered with
a white coat. The young lady stopped
in the conrse of her promenade to ad
mire a beautiful window display of
art ware, and while standing there at
tracted the attention of a group of
young men, among whom was the prac
tical joker. He reached over and with
the tip of his finger lightly traced on
the snow-covered umbrella tho words
"Kiss Me."
The owner of the umbrella, all un
sonscious of tho fact that she was the
object of much attention, walked
slowly on down tho street. Several
rude young men, who saw the inscrip
tion on the umbrella, peered rather
boldly at the pretty face beneath it as
'.hey pushed by. Th's annoyed her so
much that she suddenly closed her
umbrella and took refugo in a store,
still nnablo to even guess what people
were smiling at. Philadelphia Record.
Do It Again, Please?
Tho story is familiar of the little
girl who, while in charge of an infaut
brother, saw a cyclist "cropper"
heavily from his high bicycle, and ap
proached him as he sat on the ground,
wondering if he ware still in this
world, and said: "Please, sir, will you
do that again? Billy didn't seeyer."
A parallel to this yarn comes from the
Irish Cyclist, which says that an old
farmer quietly watched a wheelman
lose control of his mount and go over
a wall, machine and all, aud then re
marked: "Well, well; and so they can
make them leap now." London Tele-
A Dragon in the Itock.
Among the most wonderful mon
sters of the Ago of Reptiles was tho
ichthyosaurus, or "fish lizard." Last
snmrner A very perfect specimeu was
uncovered in a quarry at Stockton in
Warwickshire, England. The creature
is twenty feet in length, its head alone
being almost four feet long. Tho
ichthyosaurus possessed gigantic eyes,
whose lenses could bo foamed at will
I'm- different distances. It hunted its
prey iu the sea.
THE P0ORCITY BOY.
Oh the city boy is bundled
In bis heavy overcoat,
With bis costly leather leggings,
With a silk thing round bis throat.
And he slides upon the sidewalk
Wbore the ashes have been spread,
And Imagines bo is happy ,
On
bis
bright
new
sled
There's a bill that's high and sloping,
la tbe country, far away,
Where a boy who wasn't bundled
Fit to smother used to stray;
With tbo swiftness of the lightning
Down the gleamlog bill he spod,
And no ashes ever grated
'South
bis
- borne
i mado
' sled
Oh I pity tbe poor city
Boy who never gets beyond
Tbe narrow, asby sidewalk ,
Or some hampered little pond;
Ab, the hill was high and sloping,
And tbe way was clear ahead
Where a country boy went coasting
On
a -borne
made
slod
Cleveland Leader.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
He "When we are married I will
lie at your feet." She (interrupting)
"Yes, and to my face, I suppose."
Punch.
Little Harry "Pa, what's an an
achronism?" Pa "A brown wig on a
seventy-year-old man." Chicago
Daily News.
With all the flowors of manhood
That are blooming o'er the mead,
'TIs strange that little Wllhelinlne
bbould take up with a Wied.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"By the way, Smith, you never use
perfumes, do you?" "No," drawled
Smith, lazily, "I don't have fo. I
take a bath every morning. "--Paper
Mill.
Fashionable Young Lady "If 1
give you some money will you promise
me to go and take a bath?" Beggar
"A bath! And is it a mermaid you
take me for?" '
Irate Patron "I thought this rail
way was for tho benefit of the public"
Railway Official "You're in error.
The pnblio is for the benefit of the
railway." Tid-Bits.
Police Justice "If you were there
for no dishonest purpose, why were
yon in your stockinged feet?" Bur
glar "I heard there was sickness in
the family." Standard.
Adoriug One (in lavender kids and
a blue scarf) "Oh, how I wish I
were that book yon clasp so lovingly."
She "How I wish you were, so thatl
could shut you up." Ally Sloper.
There nre luurols for the horo
And badges for bls'breaat;
But tbe man who hasn't done a thing
Gets a chunco to rest.
Chicago News.
"Hopkins cnght to go into the
army." "Why?" "Ho's so brave.
He borrowed my wheel and rode it all
summer, and now he has brought mo
a bill for repairs." Brooklyn Stand
ard Union.
Graham "Going to move? What
for?" Whito "They've got a baby
next door to my house, aud it makes
so much noise my dog cau hardly get
a wink of sleep all night." Boston
Transcript.
Burgling Bill "No, no! I won't go
in again! She's talking in hor sleep."
The Mouso "Well, datam'tnutuiuV
Burgling Bill (hoarsely) "But she's '
a loidy elocutionist." San Francisco
Examiner.
"Were yon out iu all that rain?"
asked the Clifton girl'. "No," said the
young woman from Boston. "I was
merely in the portion of the rain that
descended iu my immediato vicinity."
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Frances "Harry says b e just wants
to fall down aud worship me all the
time." Her Mamma "Ob, well;
don't mind that dear. After you'ro
married he won't let it interfere with
his business. " Chicago News.
"Now," said the attorney for the
defense, "here is a skull. Cau you
tell us to what species it belongs?"
"It's tho skull of a lawyer," replied
the expert witness. "How can you
tell?" "By tho cheek-bones. "Rural
Home.
Ofllco Boy's Brother "Johnny's
sick a-bed, sir, aud won't bo able to
come to work for a week." Employer
"Indeed!" The Brother "Yes, sir;
but he wauts me to gets what'a duo
him, so he can have it to spend while
he's out." Roxbury Gazette.
Lady (in railway truiu ou windy
day) "Dear me! I can't get this win
dow up." Gentleman (behind) "I
would assist you, madam, but I pre
sume the railroad company has glued
the windows down to prevent the loss
of patrons by pneumonia. " New York
Weekly.
"When that maucamo to this town,"
said Rivers, "ho hadn't a rag to his
back. Look at him now." Brooks
walked to the window, looked in tho
direction indicated, aud saw a swarthy
sou of Italy walking down the street
bending beneath the weight of a sack
of rags three or fonr times his size,
strapped to his buck. This led to an
other quarrel between two old friends,
Chicago Tribuue.
A I'.ranlirul ffnake.
Perhaps ono of tho most beautiful
snakes of the United States is tho
harlequin. This snake has perma
nently creco poison fangs, is venom
ous, but not fatal, and is of an ex
tremely mild disposition. Its coloring
is exceedingly rich aud beautiful, be
ing red, with seveuteeu broad black
bauds bordered with yellow. Tho
harlequin is found from Virginia to
Arkansas, while four other species in
habit Florida and Texas. They spend
most of their timo nnder ground, of
tou being turued up by field workers,
aud eeui to huve a fondness for sweet
uotutues patches
2