Tiie Forest Republican
Is published srery Wednesday, by
J. E. WENK.
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VOL. XXXI. NO. 16. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 3, 1898. $1.00 PER ANNUM,
R
ST
The 1900 census blanks trill have
largo Dewey aud Ilobson columns.
All that Germany, France and Bussia
need know tonchiug the intentions ol
the United States is that they are hon
orable. Siuce the Frauco-Prussiau war ol
1870 it has been the custom of the
nations that win in Var to make tin
nations that lose pay the expense tc
the last oont.
In 1881 Spain exacted a revenue of
$34,000,000 from Cuba under her ex
tortionate system of taxation; the esti
mated revenue for 1898 is $24,775,000,
but of course nothiug like that amount
csn be collected.
A society has been formed in Eug
land for tho removal of "superfluous
women from the United Kingdom to
those parts of colonics where theii
presence is doubly welcome," and the
Princess of Wales has become a
patroness. Happy indeed will be the
land that has no "superfluous womon."
Qa account of the requirements
growing out of the arrests of women
and young children, many cities Lava
found the ofllco of police matron abso
lutely indispensable. Moreover, they
have oonstautly increased its scope on
the idea that while the common pro
prietios of life warranted the creation
of the office, it was furthermore of un
told value on accouut of the reforma
tory influeuoe which it exercised. Un
der proper regulations there is no rea
son why this office should not beoome
one of the moat efflciont in the city
Government.
Tho London Mail says: It is not
altogether satisla qtory to find that th
all-conqueriug American is not only
producing as good armor as England,
but , produciug it cheaper. Yet, ac
cording to a German naval periodical,
the British firms of Vickers and Brown
were underbidden by the American
firms of Carnegie and Bethlehem and
by theGerraau firm of "Krupp in a
tender for the armor of two new Eus
sian battleships. Both American firms
were $40 per ton below the lowest
British tender. There is an unpleas
ant monotony about them failures ol
Englishmen to hold their own in for
eign contracts.
One thing that war always does is
to bring merit speedily to the front.
The junior lieutenant is likely any day
to do a stroke of work that will cause
his photograph to crowd his com
manding general's out of the illustra.
ted papers. Every day develops some
new instance of daring and gallantry
in a subordinate officer. And those are
the men now destiued to quick pro
motion. As every French private
soldier in the old days was said to
carry the baton of a Marshal 6t France
in his knapsack, every man in army
or navy, no matter how humble, has
the chance to rise to any preferment
the service affords by distinguishing
himself sufficiently.
The United States is the wealthiest
nation in the world. This is a foot
that is often repeated, but because of
the natural disposition of the Ameri
can people to belittle themselves,
which has arisen by a kind of reao.
. tion from the old disposition to brag
and bluster, it seems to be universally
forgotten. The great Eugliah statis
tician, Mulhall, has completed tables
showing the wealth of the nations of
the world in 1895 as follows (pounds
being converted into dollars at the
rate of $5 per pound) :
United States ..t 81.750.000,000
Grout Britain 69,303,000,000
France 47,060,000,000
Germany 40,300,000.000
Russia 33,135,000,000
Austria 23,660,000,000
Italy...'. 15,800,000,000
Spain 11,900.000,00c
These figures include everything,
each as farms, railways, houses and
merchandise.
There is one thing which specially
frets and teases soldiers in the field.
It is the ping of the sharpshooter's
bullet. It constitutes one of the un
canny elements of a war. That ounce
of lead comes from a source that
cannot be discovered. It may come
at the most unexpected moment and
it causes a nervous tension which no
one can appreciate unless he has had
the experience. We stay-at-homes
imagine that the thick of the fight is
what causes solicitude, but it is not
so. In the thick of the fight a sol
dier will be as cool as a piece of ice
and go about his duty as indifferent to
danger as a mnchiue. But when he
is in camp and the sharpshooter lies
in ambush and may try his skill at
any moment the soldier is naturally
restless and excited. We should not
ilorget these things when we begin to
'pile up the gratitude which is due to
the brave fellows at the front
THE WAR KINC -
If you're waking call me early call me early, Mollv, dear;
To-morrow'H be the liveliest day of all tbe war-like year;
Of all the war-like year, Molly, for me tbe happiest day,
For I'm to eullst tor the war, Molly, and pocket tbe first month's pay!
LaBt year tbe wore a crown of thorns, when eotton fell so low;
Beneath tbe hawthorn, near tbe hedge, I saw my llvln' go;
An' it gave me a ease o' tbe blues, Molly; but now they have passed awsy.
For I'm to eullst for the war, Molly, and pocket the first month's pay!
Bay to tbe landlord a kind word, and let him be content;
There's many a dollar coming yet to pay tbe bill for rent;
And shorten my clothes for William tbe ones I bare cast away
For I'm to enlist for tbe war, Molly, and pocket tbe first month's pay! 1
-All night I'm half-awake, Molly; I think of tbe coming dawn,
How i'll boor tbe ring of tbe dollars as I draw my uniform onl
"Tbe wild March marigold shines like Ore In swamps and hollows gray,"
But not as bright as I'll shine, Molly, when I pocket the first moo til's pay!
Bo, If you're waking call my early onll me early. Molly, dear;
To-morrow'H be tbe liveliest day of all tbe war-like yeur; 1
Ot all the war-like year, Mollv; the maddest, merriest day,
For I'm to eullst for the war, Molly, and pocket tbe first month's pay! -
Frank L. Stnnton.
mm
1
1
BILLY RILEY ANDTHE CIRCUS
By. FRANCES ALIEN
iIIE row of children
clung with toes and
fingers to the back
back of Miss Dix
on's desk; around
her crowded a ring
three deep. She
enjoyed this morning sociable, with
bright faces peering between the mugs
of lilacs, and the light, swaying pres
sure about her shoulders; but thrifty
of time, she was accounting for gaps
in yesterday's attendance.
Patsy McGaw had .been obliged to
"mind his baby;" Jimmy Fox pleaded
a "sore t'roat;" Jimmy Nelson, shy of
his audienoe,' gave evasive answers.
Jimmy was a dear little boy, but his
one-sided dimple wheeled him off the
straight path so often that Miss Dixon
cross-questioned him searchingly.
"Oh I" he cried at last, his face
flushing. "No'm, didn't ran away
from school, if that's what .you're
drivin' at."
Thore was no mistaking his face.
Jimmy was innocent for once, and
Miss Dixon flushed as quickly as he
had done!
"I'm sureyon didn't, Jimmy. Billy
Biley, I suppose you have some ex
cellent reason for your absenco?"
"Er-r-r " stammered Billy, trying
to wind himself up to the point of
speech. Here Diuny Phaleu upset
oue mug of lilacs, and in the scramble
to save the register, Billy's attempt at
speech was lost.
"Did have an excellent reason. I'd
told her if she'd waited," muttered
Billy, going to his seat.
Billy was cross that morning. He
rubbod out his drawing so furiously as
to make a hole in the paper. In mar
bles he broke the rules of the game
and quarrelled with the other boys un
til they put him out of the ring. They
resented tbe more this fit of lawless
ness and ill-temper from good-natured
Billy .
"Didn't tell no lie. She never ast
me. rlhe just supposed," he was say
ing while Miss 'Dixon explained the
lesson.
"She never thought I'd run away.
She wouldn't think where I went was
any excuse. She'd think it was worst
of all. Where did sho say the next
lesBon was? It's just as she said, I
had an excellent reason, but if I told
her she wouldn't think so. I'm goin'
to get a week ahead iu my cipherin'."
So Billy turned himself into a' mul
tiplying maohine with a phonographic
attachment, which ground out, at in
tervals, "It was an excellent reason."
Wednesday was "poetical extract"
day, and in the afternoon the children
hunted out note-books to copy the
lines written upon the black-board.
"To-day I have given you a grown
up selection," said Miss Dixon, and
the teacher read four lines from Em
erson, ending:
"When Duty whispers low, Thou must,
Tbe youth repllos, I cunt"
"Now tell me what yon make of it.
Eddie, what does it mean?" she said.
Eddie scowled near-sightedly and
twisted one supple leg about the other.
"It means," he said, slowly, "like
when your mother wants you to wash
your hands when they aren't dirty,
but you do it."
The children took Eddie's interpre
tation sympathetically.and the teacher,
too muoh in earnest to smile, replied,
"I'm sorry you mind washiug so
mnch, Eddie, but you have part of the
idea."
The lines reminded the other chil
dren of "the soldier who went to the
war," of "the boy stood on the burn
ing deck what was his other name?"
of "the Dutch boy at the dike," and
other heroes.
"It's like that red book of yourn.all
full of golden deeds," said Johnny
Mack.
So in childish fashion they canght
the thought of the lines, and wheu
they were learned by heart the teacher
told a "live" story of a brave messenger-boy,
who had refused to give up
an important key to burglars who
threatened to kill him.
"Thank yon, thank yon for the
story 1" and the children marched out
in a charming frame of miue. To be
sure, there floated up from the yard:
'When Duty whispers low. Thou must.
The youth ropllcs, I cu-a-n't,"
with an expostulating whine which
every one recognized.
"They are such monkeys, I wonder
if it is all lost on them," thought Miss
Dixon, planning to-morrow's work.
Billy Biley had not gone out lie
now pulled his books all out on his
desk and piled them up again.
"There wasn't anything about run
ning away to circuses and not tellin',"
he was saying to himself, "but some
how those stories make things look
different side of them. What will she
do? She jiever
thing tJ anybod
done much of any-
dy, but nobody never
done nothing very bad to find out
I'm not a baby boy. Guess I can stan'
it"
When Miss Dixon looked up Billy
was figuring as if it were necessary to
get through the arithmetic that night
"You here, Billy?"
"Yes'm." Billy was pale, but he
went forward bravely. "Y-you said
you s'posed I had an excellent r-rea-son
to be absent" "
"Yes; didn't yon?"
"Yes'm."
"What was it?"
"W-wentto the circus."
"With your parents' leave?"
"Haven't any parents. Aunt's the
boss of me."
"Did she give you leave?"
"N-no'm. Bau away."
"This is very serious. At least.you
are sorry, Billy?"
"N-no'n," said Billy, firmly, look
ing straight at her. "I ain't It had
to be done. I'm 'leven years old an'
never went to a circus in my life be
fore. All tho boys have been. Every
b baby-boy in the school has been
most of 'em two or three times. My
aunt woman t ever give me the money.
au' what I earn she k -keeps to buy my
clothes. 'Bout a week ago, comin'
home from pasture, the circus-poster
man drove by mo.
"I see his horse's girth was hangin'
V I hollered, 'Your girth's broke,'
and ho jumped out aud I give him a
string to mend it n' some winter
greens, V he wrote on a card, 'Admit
William Eiley aud lady,' n' said that
would take ine inside the circus.
Knew I'd never get another chance 'n
I went and I ain't sorry.-"
Now Miss. Dixon was a firm dis
ciplinarian, unaccustomed to culprits
who looked her in the eye. She was
used to little boys who prostrated
their heads aud shed copious tears,
with perhaps the tail of an inverted
eye watching her countenanoe from
under cover.
She looked Billy over. He was
neatly if cheaply dressed. Probably
the aunt who was "boss of Kim" did
her best, yet his thin, square face
gave an impression of having often
been set grimly to bear disappoint
ment alone. Billy could not read her
face as he waited, glad that the thing
was done and bracing himself for the
worst.
At last she spoke. "Billy, I see
how you felt, and if you had come
frankly and told me all this I think I
could have arranged to let you go
without running away."
Billy looked blank. ' He knew Miss
Dixon's word.
"Why, I n-never thought you'd I
d-didn't know 1 didn't s'pose you'd
be so r-r-reaaonable about it"
, "Billy, we teachers are glad to be
as 'reasonable' as you unreasonable
little boys will let us be."
"Didn't mean to sass you. Perhaps
I m-raeant some other word. I
d-didn't think you'd take it that way,
and maybe I ain't very glad I went,
after all."
"Ill tell you how I came to under
stand, Billy. I once ran away to the
circus myself."
Billy sat down on the top of a desk.
"I did. No, I rode away, hidden
by tbe 'buffalo' which draped the old
buggy-seat. I crawled out half-
smothered, hoping my brothers would
take me into tbe tent It wasn t con
sidered proper for girls to go then,
and although they were sorry, they
sent me home on a market-wagon.
Somehow, I have never been, and I'm
much more than eleven."
Billy was full of sympathy. "If
I'd been your brother now what a
pity I My card said, 'And lady
'T wouldn't have cost you a cent."
"But I should not have liked to run
away now aud leave my school in the
lurch. Did you have as good a time
as you expected?"
"Yes'm, it was splendid. The
ponies was great, and the elephant
and tbe b-baby elephant And you
ought to seen them ride. Bnt I was
sorry I had to run away I thought I
had to when you thought I was such
a good boy. And I didn't like bring
ing down the av'rige attendance. Now
number eight is the highest"
"It troubles me more to have our
average standard of trustworthiness
lowered. I did trust you, Billy."
"And I saw some of the boys there
with their folks, but I didn't want to
talk about it afterward, as I thought
I should. I knew they wouldn't tell."
"I am glad you told me ; but of course
you would." ,
"I felt mean not to, 'specially after
them stories. And you were real "
" 'Beasonable, '.Billy? But could
any one have reasonably expected
that little Dutch boy to stay alone in
the cold and dark all night, with his
finger in the dike? And could any
pue have reasonably blamed the little
messenger-boy if he had given np the
key? Would it have been just as well
if they had done no more than could
be reasonably expected?"
"I sh-shouldn't think it would,"
said Billy; "and just going to school
wasn't anything extra to do, either. I
think I acted mean. What shall I do
to make it up?"
"What can you do?"
"Er I might make up the time
after school. I'm ahead cipherin',
and jography is review, and reading
and language and those things don't
count"
"Oh! Don't they?"
"I might learn a piece of poetry, I
suppose, or," brightening, "the flower-beds
n-need weeding dreadfully."
Miss Dixon was convinced of Billy's
sincerity. "You cannot make up a
thing like that Billy. You, can only
learn to do better next time. That is
all I am going to ask you to do. What
have you learned?"
"To go and tell you when it seema
as if things ought to be done thai
h-hadn't ought to."
"And if I am unreasonable?"
"Not to do 'em," said Billy,
promptly.
"Very well. If yon like to work in
the garden just to help the school 1
shall be glad."
"I will," said Billy.
"And your aunt!"
"I'll tell her. She says when I gel
a p-punishin' at school I'll get one at
home; and if I don't get one she'll
give me two."
"You may tell her that I think you
can be trusted next time, and ask hei
to excuse yon."
"N-no'm, she won't She's not that
kind of a lady."
But Miss Dixon resolved to add
Billy's aunt to her list of friends im
mediately, and did so, very muoh to
his interest ,
Billy worked away at the flowei
garden till it blossomed as the petu
nia. And one morning, when the cir
cus posters bad been replaoed by
others as flaming as they had been,
Miss Dixon found a manila paper par
col iu her desk.
Inside the parcel was a seed cata
logue envelope, inside this a plain en
velope, inside this an embossed val
entine envelope, and inside the em
bossed valentine envelope was a tick
et to the greatest show on earth,
from her "friend and pnple. Win,
J. Riley." Youth's Companion.
How Biddy Catches Rata.
John Hamilton has a Plymouth Bock
hen which has developed into quite a
rat killer. The trait first manifested
itself some weeks ago when one of the
men about the stable found a rat's nest
and threw the little rodents into the
yard. . The hen spoken about was no
ticed eating the young rats, apparently
with a great deal of relish.
Since then she has been seen on sev
eral occasions under a manger, where
there was a great rathole. - She would
stay there for hours at a time. Some
of the men about the place thought the
hen was "broody," but one of the
drivers insisted upon it that she was
watching for rats. This statementwas
laughed at, but the other day it was
proved beyond a doubt.
Mr. Hamilton was standing at the
back door of his office, and hoard a
great squeaking in tbe stable. He went
to the door and just then the Ply month
Book hen came from under the manger
where the rathole is, and in her bill
was a rat easily one-third grown.
The fowl held the rodent in her beak
suspended by a hind foot .The rat
was squirming aud twisting at a great
rate. Some of the other fowls tried to
get at the captive, but the rat catcher
was too quick for them. She ran as
fast as she could, all the time shaking
her head from side to side. The rat
was trying to bite and would probably
have done so if the hen had not shaken
it so violently. Finally, some of the
men drove the other chickens away,
and the Plymouth Bock was allowed to
do as she pleased. She released her
hold on the rat, and when it tried to
get away pounced upon it and picked
out Its eyes. After that a few hard
blows with the beak and the rat was
as dead as could be. Wilmington
(Del.) Morning News.
O'Hrlen of the Navy.
One of the torpedo boats to be con
structed under the provisions of the
last naval appropriation bill will be
called the O' Brien. The boat is to be
named after Jeremiah O'Brien who
won the first American naval victory.
Cooper's "History of the United
States Navy" tells all about the daring
young Irishman. The fight of O'Brien
is described by Cooper as tbe "Lex
ington of the seas," and the historian
eayB: "It was one purely of private
adventure."
When the news of the battle of Lex
ington reached Machias, Me., on May
9, 1775, the Msrgoretta, an armed
schooner in the service of the Crown,
was lying there with two sloops under
her convoy, loading with lumber for
the British Government The Mar
garetta's captain became suspicious
and sailed down the bay. Thirty-five
men took charge of one of the sloops
and started after the Margaretta.
They elected O'Brien captain. The
sloop captured the Margaretta and
took her guns on board. Tho British
authorities at Halifax sent two cruisers
to capture O'Brien, 'but he turned the
tables, took both of them, and carried
his prizes to Water town, Me. For
his daring and enterprise O'Brien was
made a Captain of Marine of the col
ony of Massachusetts. New York
Sun.
Oof Output of Precioae Stones.
In 1897, while this country's gold
production exceeded $10,000,000, the
output of precious stones reached only
the modest figure of $130,676. The
principal items of this total were:
TurquoiBe, $55,000; sapphire, $25,000;
quartz crystal. $12,000; tourmaline,
$9025; gold quartz, $5000. .......
TIIE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Unreasoning Reason Occupied Uapl
ant Reflection The Other Kind Hob
by's Salary Forcing- an Iaane In the
Negative HI Mistake, Etc., Etc
Bbe said to him, her lover:
"I would not hold you no.
It o"ce tbe dream seemed over,
Ironce you wished Jo go.
"You're free at any season,
At any moment tree."
"But that is just tbe reason
You bold me fast," said be.'
Unpleasant Reflection.
MissPassay "I dread tovthink of
my fortieth birthday."
Miss Pert "Wby? Did something
unpleasant happen then?" Brooklyn
Life.
Id the Negative.
Customer "Do you suppose you
can take a good picture of me?"
Photographer "I shall have to an
swer you in the negative, sir." Pick-Me-Up.
Occupied.
Snodgrsss "The world has a place
for everybody. "
Micawber "Yes; the only trouble
is there's generally somebody else in
it." Chicago News.
Tho Other Kind.
"Pauline, are you one of Fashion's
slaves?"
"Not much; I'm the slave of a man
who won't let me follow the fashions
at all." Detroit Free Press.
Forcing an Iaaue.
He "We must devise some plan
for getting your father's consent to
our marriage."
She "Well, we er might put
bur heads together." Brooklyn Life.
Ills Mistake.
"That politician is a 'has been,'
isn't he?" remarked the observer.
"No," replied the captious friend,
"he isn't even that. He's merely a
'used-to-think-he-was.' " Washing
ton Star.
The Parson's Rich Wife.
Mrs. Greene "They must think a
good deal of your husband's comfort
to give him a three months' vacation."
The Parson's Wife "Or a good
deal of their own comfort" Boston
Transcript
Hubby's Salary.
Jones-Brown "How much does
your husband earn a week, Mrs.
Brown-Smith?"
Mrs. Brown-Smith "Oh, anywhere
from $10 to $25 less than we spend."
Brooklyn Life.
The Artists' Error.
"Fothcr, are generals bravo men?"
asked Johnny of his father.
"Yes, my son, as a rule," was the
answer.
"Then why do you artists make pic
tures of 'em standing on a hill three
miles away, looking at a battle through
an opera glass?"
Rather Pointed.
Smith "Every time I call I find
you with a pen in your hand. You
must be very fond of writing."
Jones "Oh, yes; regular pen
holder, as it were."
Smith "Isn't it wonderful how
many sticks are converted into pen
holders" Chicago News.
Inconvenience of Using Poor.
Yubsley "There is no show for the
poor man in this country. "
Mudge "Since when did you
change your views?"
Yabsley "Since that footpad
pounded me over the head for not
having more than half a dollar." In
dianapolis Journal.
Complimenting Him.
"I must give you credit for having
remarkably light bread," said the
housewife.
"We try to keep it so," replied the
baker.
"And you Buooeed. It is bo light
that it goes up in price a great deal
easier than it ever goes down."
Washington Star.
One on Her.
"At last I have discovered it,"
grinned the young man at the theatre,
before his best girl had yet time to re
move her hat "You see before you
an air ship."
"Pardon me, but I see nothing of
the kind."
"Then look at the stage. It has
wings and flies." Detroit Free Press.
A Dear Girl's Conscience.
"Of course," said Maud, thought
fully, "if somebody steals something
from you and then gives it right back
again, that doesn't make you a re
ceiver of stolen goods, does it?"
"I shouldn't think so," replied
Mamie. "What makes you ask?"
"Cholly Chuggias stole a kiss from
me the other evening." Washington
Star.
Comforts of Travel.
Professional Guide (to palace-car
porter) "I have an English Lord in
charge, and I w&ut him to get a good
impression of the comforts of travel iu
this country. Here's five dollars."
Porter "Yes, sab. Do you wont
me to gib him extra attention, sir?"
Guide "Great Soott. no! I want
vou to keep away from him." New
York Weekly.
An Illustration.
Teacher "Thomas, will you toll me
what a conjunction is, and compose a
sentence containing a conjunction?"
Thomas (after long and solemn re
flection) "A conjunction is a word
connecting anything, such as, 'The
horse is hitched to the fence by his
baiter.' Halter is a conjunction be
cause it connects the horse aud the
I fence!" Harper's Bzor,
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL
Straight hairs are nearly cylindri
cal; curly hairs are elliptical or flat
The seaooast Hue of the globe it
computed to be about 136,000 miles.
It is said that the castor oil plant is
abhorred by nearly all members of the
animal kingdom.
The waters of the Grand Falls of
Labrador have excavated a chasm
thirty miles long.
Alcohol is being nsed with mantle
lamps to illuminate parts of Berlin's
park, the Thiergartcu.
An army physician says that he has
discovered that pure olive oil taken
internally will cure enteric fever.
The relative size of the earth, 'as
compared with the sun, is, approxi
mately, that of a grain of sand to an
orange.
In a recent test of floor material the
most durable turned out to be a tile
made of rubber. An English earthen
tile came next.
The shoe factories use 1,000,000
kangaroo skins yearly. Australians
have begun to raise aud breed kanga
roos as they would sheep.
Liquid (oil) fuel, in combination
with coal, is nsed on thirty-seven en
gines of the Great Eastern Railway, in
England, including fifteen expresses.
The Maledive Archipelago, west of
Ceylon, embraces 14,000 coral islands,
few of which are more than six feet
above the level of the ocean, and only
175 of which are inhabited.
Krypton will have as its density
forty, with a minimum density of 22.51.
"Krypton" is the name assigned to
the new gas. The word means "hid
den" o? "concealed," and its scientific
symbol will be "Kr."
How Russia Is Preparing For War.
At NikolsKoye, about seventy miles
from the Pacific, I stopped for the
night It is a great military centre,
and always has been recognized as a
strong strategic point There are
fortifications, ruined and dilapidated,
out upon the prairie near the town,
which have been pronounced to be the
handiwork of Tamerlane or Genghis
Khan.
Suddenly, with a bump and a jolt,
we came abruptly to a standstill, and
I followed the izvozohik's whip to
where he was pointing to the plain
below. It was white with tents.
How many there wore stauding there
I shall never ku'ow, as the evening
closed in, and wheu I had counted a
thousand I lost my count in the dusk;
but there were still many, very many,
more. It was a summer camp, and
there were anywhere from 15,000 to
20,000 soldiers lying here perdu,
where their presence was as little
suspected, where they were as
secluded, as it somewhere in the heart
of Africa. I afterwards learned that
this was but one of the three in
tronched camps around Nikolskoye,
aud not the largest The men were
leading the life of soldiers on active
service, and were ready for mobiliza
tion, to the last button. Stephen
Bonsai, in Harper's Magazine.
The Saviors of Kansas and Nebraska.
The hens are said to have saved
Nebraska. From the stations in the
interior of the State were shipped
thousands of dozens of eggs every
week. The money received for them
was about the only clear cash that
same into the household, and kept
the children fit for school and the wife
in presentable clothes. In Kansas
the humble cow was more in evidence.
Scattered over the plains are the
creameries, to which every morning
wends a procession of farm wagons,
eaoh containing a dozen or more high
tin cans filled with milk from the
farms. One county has for six years
received from the creameries $250,000
annually in monthly payments. It
has been the salvation of tho settlers.
Others have done nearly as well, and
the annual value of the milk products
has been from $4,500,000 to $5,000,
000. This, added p the help of the
hen and the returns of the swine yard,
has .been the resource upn which
many a family has depended to tide over
the lean years. Harper's Magazine.
The Many Uses of the Banana.
Immense fortunes have been made
out of the banana business. Reve
nues do not accrue alone from the sale
of the fruit, for the leaves are used
for packing; the juico, being strong in
tannin, makes an indelible ink and
shoe blacking, the wax found on the
underside of the leaves is a valuable
article of commerce; manila hemp is
made from the stems, and of this hemp
are made mats, plaited work and luce
handkerchiefs of the finest texture;
moreover, the bauana is ground iuto
banana flour. The fruit to be sold for
dossert is ripened by the dr warmth
of flaring gas jets in the stor.jo places
in which it is kept, and imnense care
has to be taken to prevent softening
or overripeuPur, The island of Ja
maica yields great crops of this useful
and money-making fruit. Invention.
Government Mines In Prussia.
The Prussian Government owus
and works seventeen collieries, eight
lignite mines, fourteen iron mines,
five metalliferous mines other thau
iroti and three rock suit mines, to
gether with five irou works aud cigjit
works for smelting the other metals,
six salt works and five quarries, which
have an output of a total value of
more thau $.10,000,000 yearly. Be
sides the above, tho Prussian State
owns one colliery, that of Ibbenbuhren,
in the Osnabruck district of West
phalia; the collierieB of Deister aud
Osterwald, iu the Clansthal district,
and half the Obenkirchcn colliery in
the same district. New York World.
Duration of Life.
The average duration of human life
in European countries is greatest in
Sweden and Norway, aud lowest iu
Italy and Austria,
THE URCHIN'S TALE.
Above the sound of the traffic that roared
In the neighborhood of the bulletin board
Came the lisping tones of a seven-year-old.
And tbe man gave becd to the tale he told;
For tbe man was a man of a martial air.
Though white was the drift of his snowy
hair;
And bis eyes grew bright and he smiled for
Joy
At the warlike words ot tbe littlo boy,
Who spoke to bis comrade, sma'I, freokle
faced, With a Cuban flag on bis tattered waist,
"What stock." said the vot, "when grim
war's alarms
Break out In the speech of the babes in
arms!
"When the dlsoourse of children ts tulk ot
guns
And heroes are praised by the little ones.
"Av, what a stock! What a sturdy stock!
What fighting chips ot tbe fighting block!"
Tbe seven-year-old by the bulletin board
Meard none ot all this or, bearing, ig
nored But went right on with his tale ot strife
"De battery licked 'em, you betcber life!
"Da battery done it; ahfl don't forget
Dat battery was onto its job, you bet.
"De udder Captain was sand clear t'roo.
But be was 'fraid o' dem cannon balls,
too.
"He cheered up his gang, you know but
nit:
Dey tried dcir best, but dey couldn't hit.
"An den" and the old man's eyes grew
moist,
And deep In bis loyal heart he rejoiced;
And be bent bis bend and he proudly
smiled
At the epla sung by a little child,
And his pulses throbbed and bis being
thrilled
Then he gravely thought ot tbe maimed
and killed;
For be bad fought, and be knew no tun's
Provoked by a obarge on tbe enemy's guns.
He fancied the carnage the death and
smoke
Of the battery charge thon the wee boy
spoke:
"Debattery it did all o' de work
Me brudder pitched an' wui caught by
Burke."
Chicago Record.
HUMOR OF THt DAY.
She "When you married me you
said you were well off." He "I was,
but I didn't know it" Tit-Bits.
"Were you a guest at the hotel while
you were away, Blodgett?" "Guest?
Not much. I paid cash. "Chicago
Becord.
"Say, what would you do if you had
a skeleton in your closet?" "The best
thing to do is to make no bones of it."
Indianapolis Journal.
Aworkmau was repairing a steeple
directly above the big clock and strange
to say he charged his employers np
with working over timo.
Chemist (to battered female, who is
covered with scratches) "The cat, I
suppose?" Battered Female "No.
Another lydy." Punch.
"What's the matter, Little Dick?"
"Say.Mr. Higby, why don't you bring
my sister more candy an' not so many
roses?" Chicago Record.
McDougal "Hoot, mon! ye'll soon
be better." MoMinus "It's not the
seeckness I'm minding; it's the awful
waste. I paid atteeupance for that
deenner. " Pick-Me-Up.
Boyjoe "Why are yon consulting
the dictionary? I thought you knew
how to spell." Chinu ,"I do, I am
not -looking for information, but for
corroboration. "Tit-Bits.
Carrie "Did John come up very
close to .you when he proposed?"
May "Well, I hope you don't think
he went across the street and shouted
his love over to me." Standard.
Mistress "The servants seem to
know all about the mortgage on the
house." Master "Yes; they'd nat
urally look np the title before they
took possession." Detroit Journal.
Keedick "Young Browne added
the V to his name after he inherited
his uncle's big fortune." Fosdick
"That's quite right. Bich people are
entitled to more ease thau poor peo
ple." "My dog is almost as intelligent as
I am," remarked Squildig. "Are you
going to have him shot, or will you
try to give him away?" asked Mo
Swilligen. Pittsburg Chronicle Tel
graph. "I understaud from a careful peru
sal of history," said a young fellow
with an arid upper lip, "that iu 18G1
the young fellows went to war, and I
think it's the old men's turn to go this
time." Denver Times. p
On the brink of a creek in Ireland
there is or used to be a little stone
containing a carving of this inscrip
tion, intended to help travelers:
"When this stone is out of sight, it is
not safe to ford tho river." Tit-Bits.
"Every morniug on the way to
school," said the little miss, "the
boys catch me aud kiss me." "Why
don't you run from them?" asked her
father. "Because," replied the small
edition of Eve, "maybe they wouldn't
chase me." Chicago Post.
LV'So yon are going to marry Dump
er, Grace?" lauplied her best chum.
"Pardon my levity, b it he's so short
and you so tall and stately." "You're
wrong, as you often are. A mau can't
be called short whon he's worth over a
million." Detroit Free Press.
"So you think it absolutely ncces
oary to have bicycle shoes on when
you ride your wheel, do you?" asked
the Cheerful Idiot "Of course," said
the youngest boarder. "Then, would
your wear horseshoes when you rode
a horse?" Indiannpolis Journal.
Her Father "I am afraid, sir, that
my daughter can never be happy with
man who can be engaged to her a
mouth without giving her a ring."
The Aspirant "Sir, I am afraid I cau
never be happy with a girl whose en
gagement to me will not induce jewel
ers to trust me." Jewelers' Weekly.