Tiie Forest Republican I paulUhod every We.ln tiny, hf J. E. WSNK. 03lc la SmearbanRh & Co.'. Bulhliug ELM 8TBKET, TIONESTA, TA. 1'erir. iOP -01Pt No subscrlptlcmj rvo.yjj for a ihortsr period ttiftQ throe months Correspondence soIImih I from nil pnrti of the country. No notio will bo takeu ol enonymous coniniunlo itlom. RATES OF ADVERTISING! One rVpinre, on inch, on. Inertlm..! One npisre, one Inch, one month. ,t One Square, one inch, tiire mintln. . One t-'nunre, one inch, one yuer 'I w Squired, ono ye ir . . . Quarter Column, one year 11. If Column, one yeir. I 00 8(i ft l 10 01 1 mi .11011 (vi mi tOR PUBLICAN One Column, one year I'NI "U I-eM advertisements teu c-nU per line inch iinertlon. Alnrri.nin and deith notions grnt-bi. All lillfoTyi-arljra.dvertiMnmiti coHeted quarterly 1 emHrarjr u Ivorunii'nls must be paid In ndvnnc Job work -cash on deliver. VOL. XXX. NO. 19. TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, AUG. 25, 1807. S1.00 PER ANNUM. Bin EST England receives about $400,000,000 a year from the amounts it has loaned to foreign countries. On July 1 over 80,000,000 in inter cut was due in l'liilailclphia, the city interest alono being 81,28!),57i.94. This is an age of debt, exclaims the Boston Globe' Where all tho bottles and pins go furnishes a subject for wonder. Tow derly, while at the head of the Knights of Labor, declared that he destroyed every bottle after its original oontonts had been used, and advised all to fol low his example in ordor to aid the glass industry. Germnny, it is estimated, receives annually $100,000,000 to $150,000,000 from its foreign investments and $200, 000,000 from its merchant marine and the profits of its citizens engaged in business in foreign countries, whilo the expenditure of its people traveling in other countries is ibont offset by that of foreigners traveling in Ger many. Hays Law Notes, "after an animated trial, consuming ton days, the police judge of Omaha decided that it was not criminal libel to accuse a man falsely of being an A. P. A. man. One Bennett was accused of branding State Senator Howell as a member of that order, to which charge Howell at tributes his defeat for election as Mayor "of Omaha." Justice Harlun, of the Supreme Court, iu an address before the Yale Law School, stated that ho believed of all documents in American history he would have proferreTWo have been the author - of George Mason's bill of rights. This was the first 'in strument upon earth defining that principle which underlies every free government to day the separation of the three functions of government, executive, legislative and judicial. He took occasion also to express his dis- approval ol Americans who uro ashamed of thoir Government by saying that "there are those among us who affect to believo that no gov ernment vi itliout royalty can bo endur ing. They affect the manners and ways of those they see abroad, and ex.press disgust at the simplicity of all that is American. It would bo well for them to stay permanently abroad, They are Americans in name only and deserve our pity rather than our con tempt. " A Berlin paper prints some facts re gardiug electrio railways in Europe, which suggests to tho Sun Francisco Chronicle that the people in the Old World are slow to take up a good thing. According to this paper, Ger many has 252 miles of electric, rail way, Frauce 82 miles, Great Britain and Ireland G65 miles, Austria-Hun gary -11 miles, Switzerland 2'J miles and Italy 2-lj miles. .Sorvia, ltussiu, . Belgium and Spain have but from G miles to 1HL miles each. Contrasted with the 12,000 miles of electric ruil way operated iu the United States this is a very sorry showing, and the dis parity is emphasized when it is stated that European countries are almost as I'leilcieut iu other methods of get ting about as they are iu electric rail ways. . The United States may learu sonic things from the people of Eu rope, but tho latter might derive some excellent pointers from us on tho sub iect of moving passengers iu big cition. The statistics of accidents furnished by some of the insurance companies disclose some odd fucts. Out ol 4000 given accidents CHI were cuused by falling on the pavement, whilo 143 were from slipping dowu stairs, with 157 due Jo miscellaneous causes, mak ing a total of 081. Accidents from riding in carnages aud wagons, are . given at 421,. which is closely followed by that now form of accident on the bicycle, coming up to 413. It is show that 2t54 persons were cut with edged tools, while 105 suffered from the falling of heavy objects. Kick ing horses were the cause ol 134, while nothing is said about mules, probably because the mule does not exist in the section of coun try from which these figures were collated. The whirring of intricate machinery, from which one would ex pect uu immense number of accident to occur, really has but a small per- eentuge to its credit, being only 107 sevonty-two eyes were hurt, sixty-nine fingers crushed, fifty-live people stepped on nails iu their stockings, aud, singular to relate, out of 4000 ac cidents ouly forty-three wore duo to railroads. The listull the way through shows, comments the Atluuta Con stitution, that more uccidents coiuo to tho man who walks upon his feet thau to the one who rides on ruilrouds, suils on a steumbout, or coasts around on a bicycle. nu i ii Li-". IF THEY BUT COULD. How ofton wn hear discontented ones talk Of Kiancl opportunities Inst. Aud liow by tun waves of condemnnMo luck They've over been ruthlessly tossed. They'll tell tn a sort of disconsolate way Of liihorlniP nlwnvs In vnln. And how they wouiil handle tho contract If they Could live their lives ovor ugaln. The mnn who has failed la his business af fairs, Tho prisoner looked In his cell. The wedded ones battling, with family cures, All have tho same storv to tell. Wherever we go tlmt disconsolate cry we near in a pitinii strain: You'd see matters different with me if I Could live my life over again," We should nevor weep over milk that It Spilled, Hut liustlo around for some more. Wo cannot recall opportunities killed, Nur chances blown off from our shoro, This word of advlee Is tho best we can Klvo: Don't over tho enst sit and brood. But tackle the future determined to live The balance of life as you should. Denver Tost ! Millie and Mollie 'VE come to ask you for tho hand of your daughter," said young Bromley, stumbling to the seat offered him b y the girl's ' father. "Which ono?" asked old Dim mock, the coal merchant, lay ing down the newspaper which he had been reading, and eyeing the young man curiously. Sometimes I think it is Mollie, aud again I am sure it is Millie," re plied young Bromley, genuinely per plexed. Tho old coul nitrchunt looked sym pathetic. You can t huve both, said ' ho, after au awkward pause. Ihey ro splendid girls, good enough for auybody!" exclaimed the youug man. "Well, I lather think!" suid the old man, proudly. 1 could be happy witlf either of them," went ou young Bromley. I m disposed to think, observed old Dimmock, "that you have been happy with both of them." So they vo told mo more than once, sum liromley, with the pleasant light of recollection in his eyes. Well, can t you make up your mind which girl you want to marry?" Ihe old coul merchant looked at the young mau with the frosu color and the loyal blue eyes as if he would like to huve him for a son-in-law. Youug Bromley did not answer for a moment, and then he said slowly: "Which do you think souuds tho bet ter 'Millie Bromley' or 'Mollie Bromley?' Sometimes I've looked at it in that way." "I don't think there's much to choose," returned the old coul mer chant, weighing the question with every desire to be fair. "You know," continued tho young inau, "thero have been times when I've gone to bed perfectly charmed with the nunie 'Millio Bromley,' uud iu the morning 'Mollie Bromley' has caught my fancy. Millie, Mollie; Mollie, Millie it's an awful puzzle." "Of course, you've proposed to one of the girls ? inquired their father, On, yes, indeed, said youug liromlev. "Then that is the girl you wunt to murry, exclaimed the old man, triumphantly. "Why, it's simple enough after all. You've taken quite a load oil' my mind. Which one was it?" "It was Millie I think," uuswerod young Bromley, hesitatingly. "Think! Doii't you know?" The young man flushed, aud looked reproachfully at the coal merchant "Mr. Dimmock," said he, "I'll put it to you us mini to man: nun Millie and which is Mollie? "Dou t cross-exauiiiio me, sir.re joined the old muu "If you wunt to marry ouo of the girls, it's your busi ness to lind out. "Heaven knows," cried young Brom ley in unguish, "I wuit to marry cith er Millie or Mollie, aud have her all to myself. It's trying enough for follow to be over head uud ears iu love with one girl, but when there are two of them it's more thau llcsh uud blood run stand." "There, there, my boy," suid the old coul merchant soothingly, "itou't take on so. Either girl is yours with my blessing, but I wunt to keep one for mvself. Let ine see if I cun lielp you." Aud going to the opeu French window he culled: "Millie. Mollie! Mollie, Millie!" "Yes, pupu, we're coining," sounded two sweet, well-bred voices from the shrubbery. There was a tripping of light feet along the stone walk under theMpe vine, and Millio uud Mollie lloVl iuto the room. ' "flow do you do, Mr. Bromley, thev said Wether with the same in tonatiou uud the sume merry glint their eyes. Millie hud unburn hair und brown eves; so hud Mollie. Millie h-id Cupid's bow of a mouth, little teeth like pearls, and a dimpled chin; so hud Mollie. MilUo sui'ino, seen tuimJiiU .8 QOOOoS e f lint Of. If U 1A3 her muslin sleeves, wcro round and white; so were Mollie'.. From waist to tips of their little feet the figures of Millie and Mollie were the same, lino for line, and both were dressed in white muslin, with lilac bows behind their white necks and lilac sushes at their waists, lilac stockings without a wrinkle, and each woro whito satin shops. Their hair was loose over their fair brows and was braided down their backs, of just the same length, and tied at tho end with lilac ribbons. Millie tied Mollie's bows and Mollie tied Millie's. "Well, papa?" "Young Bromley tells me," began old Mr. Dimmock, after, he had taken draughts of their fresh young beauty by looking first at one and then at the other, and then dwelling upon the features of both with one eye sweep, "that he proposed to you last night." "Oh, not to both, you know," Mr. Dimmock," interjected young Brom ley. "He asked me to be his wife," said Millio demurely. "He told me that he couldn't live without mo," said Mollie mischievous- iy. "How is this?" said the old man, turning to young' Bromley with a severe look. The young man blushed furiously and lifted his hands iu urotest. "I'm sure," he stamAered, "one of you is mistaken. I asKed you, Millie, to be my wife in the summer house and and I lyssod you. That was before supper, and later iu the even ing, when we Bat on the front steps, 1 said that I couldn't live without you and that wo musC get married. 'Before we go any further, inter rupted the old coal merchant, "which is Millie and which is Mollie? When your deur mother was alivo she could tell tho diifereuce sometimes, but I don't know to this day." 'Oh, how dull you are, papa! said the girls in duct. I think that is Millieon the right," spoke up young liromley. "Why, Mr. Bromley, said she, "1 am Mollie." "Very good, now let's go on," said their father, "whore were we? Ol yes, young Bromley says that he asked you to bo his wife, Millie, and ae- Iared lie couldu t do without you. I beg your pardon, papa, said Mollie, "he told me that he couldn't live without mo." "Well, let's get our beariugs," con tinued the old coal merchant. "Brom ley, you askod Millie to marry you down in the summer house, aud you kissed her! That's correct, isn't it?" ''There's no doubt about that, sir," said Bromley eagerly. "And after -supper when you sat together on the stoop you told Mollie that yon couldn't live without her?" t "That I deny, sir. Ohl I bey your pardon, Mollie, you needn't look so angry.- l meant no oitence. "Did you kiss Mollie? went on the old man relentlessly. "No, sir. I J "Yes, you did, Mr Bromley," flared up Mollie. I admit, said the young man, truggliug with his emotions, "that I kissed her when I said I could not livo without her, but it wasn't Mollie." Oh, Mollie!" said Millie, "how could you?" "Now, Millie, do bo reasonable, suid Mollie. Old Mr. Dimmock looked mystified. "It seems to me," I said, with a show of impatience, "that if I wef in love with one of those girls I could tell the difference between them. So far as I can muke out, youug man, you have asked Millie to bo your wife, and have tried to make Mollie believe that you could not livo without her. Now, to any one who does not knfiw Millie and Molho your conduct would ap pear to be perfidious. Of course, as between you and Mollie, I must be hove Mollie, for tho girl certuiuly knows whether you kissed her." The old man eyed both his daugh ters hard. Millie was biting her nether lip and so was Mollie; but Mol lie was trying to keep from laughing. Old Mr. Dimmock had an idea. "I would like to clear up this thing to your satisfaction and my own, Bromley," said he. "Let me ask you whether Mollie kissed you when you told her you oouldu't live without her?" The youug man got very red in the face. . You meau Millie, of course," he replied, with emburrussiuont. "Per haps she wouldn't miud my saying thut she did kiss me in the summer house. But she didn't kiss me on the stoop. I kissed her." 'How is thut, Millie? Mollie?' usked their father. "l'upu," suid Mollie deciiKrTly. "1 couldn't keep Mr. Bromley from kiss ing me, but I assure you 1 didu t kiss him." Mollie linked her father straight in the eye aud then she shot uu indignant shaft ut Bromley. Millie hung her head and her face wus as red us a poppy. "I think, said the old man dryly, thut it's plain I'll keep Mollie, aud we'll huve that marriuge before you make another mistake, young muu." New York Sun. luy'e Curiosity. James Mother, aged fourteen, em ployed by Tuilor Sullivuu, of Merideu, Conn., wulked out on a roof. Seeing a box on au electric wire pole, he pro cured a ladder uud went up to exam ine the contrivance. Ho took hold of u wire loaded with 10IK) volts and was ubout to irrusp it with his left hand, when he felt u bum on the wrist of thut huud and found thut he could uot release his hold with his right. Ho w as druwu upward so thut he lost his footing, uud his weight bloke his hold. Ho fell ten feet. Mr. Sul livuu heuring his full hurried to him. The right hutid wus burned to the bone aud the left wrist badly scorched. TIIE MERttY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. The Merrlod Mnn. Itd.mvury I'niler MHIiratlnff t'lmontitianrfft An Expert 0!inrvpr3n1nv ly Cimtrerlre Hntll Nrrvoue Faroe of ffnltlt. Ktc, Ktc. The Happy Man "I tell you, old fellow, a man doesn't know what real happiness is until he's married." Cynical Married Friend, "Then ho finds it consists iu being Binglo." Brooklyn Life. A Nelfl.li View. She "Look at that poor moth flut tering around the light." He "That's better than having It fluttering around my overcoat." Buck. Force of Habit. "Does your husband act as he did before you wereinarried,Mrs. Lightly?" "Much the same. When he gooB out at night he remains very late." Detroit Free Press. Merely a HugR-cMlon. Bridget "Sure, ma'am, I wild call your atteushun to the beautiful sun set out av the kitchen winder." Mistress "That's nothing, Bridget. You ought to soe it rise some morn ing. " Life. An Kzpert Observer. Charley Checks "Wouldn't yer like ter be au umpire, Sammy, an' get into all de games free?" Sammy Spots "Nawl What would be de use? Dora fellers never see nut tin' uv de game." Puck. Convicted of Insincerity. "My motto," said the Bummer boarder, "is 'live and let live.'" "Hypocrite!" sneered the mosquito winch had boon perched on his noso. Only by a'precipitato retreat had it been able to avoid a crushing blow. Puck. Under MlUg-atlus; Circumstance. Jinks "How much do you think a minister ought to got for marrying a couple?" Filkius "Well, if wholly unac quainted with them, perhaps he might be lot off with six months." Town Topics. Golnfr by Contraries. Asians "What do you think will be tho outcome when you propose to Miss Swift?" Toller "She is such a coutrury girl that I am inclined to think she will accept me bocaus6 I feel sure she will reject me?" tils L'sual rose. "Julia had her husband's photograph taken with his head stuck in a news paper. "Why did sho do that?" "She said that was the way he always looked to her when ho was at home." Chicago Kecord. Ilotli Nervous. Suitor (nervously) "Mr. Mutehitt, I er why er your er daughter I wish to er speak Mr. Mutehitt (ulso nervously) "Look here, young mun ; out with it. If you wish to marry my duughter, say so. Don't keep me sitting here' iu this awful suspense!" Puck. An Unnecessary Admonition. "Did you tell that young man not to call here any more?" asked Mabel's father, severely. "No no." "Why not?" "I didn't think it was necessary. I don't see how he could call any moro, now. He culls seven times u week. Washington Star. Understood the Case. Struuger -"I should like to retain you iu au importuut case. It is a fight over a child." Great Lawyer "Between husband aud wife?" "No; she is an orphan and has no near relatives. The contest is between distant relatives ou both sides of the house." "Ah! I see. How much is she heir ess to?" New York Weekly. Another Lome-Kelt Want. Customer "My wife bus been pes tering the life out of me to get her au easy chair. She's always nagging about something, and if it isn't a chair it'll be soniothiug else, and it's hardly worth while getting one; but, still, I thought I'd drop iu so as to see whut you had. . She'll bo sure to ask." Furniture Dealer "Here, sir, is a chuir so perfectly easy and comfortable that she'll full asleep the minute sho touches it." Customer "Cracky! I'll tuke it." Now York Weekly. The Hvasons. Little Girl "Mamma, is thi-i sum mer?" Wise Mothor "Dear mo, will you never leuru to know tho seusous? Now remember. When it is so hot one duy you can't breutho, uud so wet uud chilly the next thut you cau't go out, it's summer; wheu it suddenly gets so cold thut everybody shivers, und ice and snow appear, it's autumn; when it becomes warm aud buluiy, and the birds siug, uud grass gets green, aud trees begin to bud, it s winter; wheu the winds start up and cyclones sweep over the country, aud blizzurds carry deuth and dcvustutiou iu their wuKo, uud the livers freeze, aud tho snow piles up three feet high, it's spring." New York Weekly. I'ubllu Land In Missouri. According to tho figures furnished by the Depurtmeut of the Interior last year, Missouri has still 617,000 ucres of public luud subject to entry, a sur prising quautity considering tho ugo of the Stute aud the price ut which luud is held in tho more densely Bet tied portions. The luud offices for this Stute are located at Booueville, B-outon aud Springfield. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. A bar of lead cooled to a point about 800 degrees Fahrenheit below r.ero, according to the experiment of M. Fictet, gives out, when struck, a pure musical tone. Solidified mercury, at tho samo temperature, is also resonant, while a coil of magnesium wiro vibrates like a steel spring. A new method of preserving mrats. from which much is expected, consists in immersion in a thirty per cent, solution of salt through which a con tinuous current of electricity is hcing passed. The curing is completed in from ten to twenty hours, wheu the meat is taken out and dried. Gold leaves so thin that 250,000 measure only an inch iu thickness are produced in the Swan process by placing thin sheets of polished copper in an electrolytic gold plating solution only iiutil a continuous gold film has formed, then dissolving away the copper in a solution of forrio chloride. Liqnofiod carbonic acid is now pro duced so cheaply that its uso for mo tive power for such purposes as driv ing light carriages is often considered. A difficulty encountered is tho great absorption ol heat aud consequent loss of efficiency through tho refrigeration of the engine, as tho liquid expands and returns to the gaseous state. When the flashlight of a submarino camera was burned recently in the Mediterranean, crowds of lisli, with their wido-staring eyes, were instantly pictured on the sensitive plate. I u tograpiiB ol suiimariue iorests are startingly novel. Seaweed makes an altogether different appearance when seen in its natural clement from, that which it presents when seen floating on tho suriucc or drivou up on tuo beach. A now nickel-iron alloy, reported by Dr. (Jharles (iuillatiiue, of Nutifcliutcl, to tho Internationp.i Committco of Weights and Measures, shows less ex pansion and contraction under the in fluence of temporaturo than any other metallic substance known. It consists of thirty-six per cent, of nickel and sixty-four of iron, and tho expansion is but one-tenth of that of platinum. It is expected to prove of considerable value for measuring apparatus exposed to suddi changes of temperature. Bailwlly tracks are found to bo not absolutely stationary, but to bo moved slightly, especially on steep descents, through tho influence of the t radio over them. Austrian and French en gineers report that tho left hand rail, seen in tho direction of running, moves forward more than tho right ono, while .Lgyptiau engineers huve an opposite experience. Ono oxplun at ion is thut the cranks on the right side lead on European locomotives, and those on tho left sido on the loco motives of Egypt. A New Ilcservolr. In Pawtucket, It. I., a reservoir has just been constructed, which, accord- cording to casual observation, has been made to stay. It has a depth of twelve feet, a top diameter of ninety- seven feet and a bottom diameter of ninety-five feet. Tho concrete walls are four feet thick at the bottom and two ieet thick at tho top, w ith an out side batter of au inch to tho foot. Ex tending all around tho outsidotof the walls aud imbedded iu the concreto are wrought iron rings. There nre four of these rings, about tfbveu- eighths of au iuch in diameter. The upper one is ono foot from tho top of the wall; tho others ure each one foot lower than the lust. The entire sides and bottom are of ono continuous muss of concrete, tho whole being laid out without joint or seum and of tho most approved material. The concrete is made of one purt Portland cement, three parts sand and six parts gravel. Any person at all familiar with tho use of such material need scurcely bo told thut this is au exceptionally strong construction, and ouo that, barring uc cideut, will make the reservoir practi cally safe for many years to cohie. Ilaiuluged Ihn Wrong Lejr. A prominent young couple of Phojuix wero riding their bicycles leisurely along West Washington street recently when u Chinese vegeta ble peddler cume ulong at a lively guit and upset the bicycle of the gentleman and fractured his left leg. His lady frieud and companion, who is a murkubly talented girl, did not cry or ring her bunds in helplessness, hut, breuking liuitis from a neighboring tree, she made several splints. Then sho tore up a white skirt for buuduges aud hulling a passing buggy, she aided iu lifting her injured frieud iuto it aud hud him driven to the office of Dr Helm. The doctor helped tho man into his office. Then he proceeded to muke uu examination of his injuries. "Who bandaged this leg so neatly?" asked the doctor. The girl blUKlnngly re plied it was her work. "Well," quoth the doctor, as au umusod smile covered his fuce, "it is beautifully done, but I find you huve mude a slight mistake. You have got tho buuduges ou the wrong leg." And tho luugh thut fol lowed this uuuouuceuiout wus joined iu by the victim. Arizona (luzulto. A Moving Ntuln-itse. A moving stair case for passengers, in tho shujie of uu endless leather belt transferring them from ono story to uuother, is now iu use iu some of the greut depurtmeut stores of Paris. It is culled u transporting carpet. End less belts of canvas huve been used for some time to convey puckugos from pluce to pluce within the store. Admire the Knlnur's Mustache. The upwurd twirl of the (leriuan Emperor's uiustucho is greatly ad mired by his pooiilc. Some loyal sub jects even go so fur us to sleep with their heuds tied up iu bandage s -n order to give their mustaches tho do sired twist ut the corners. A MUNICIPAL FARM. A Sttccrssfti! KxiM-rlmcnt In Agriculture by the City of Mncnn. As a demonstration of tho profit thero mny bo iu a city farm, attention is called to tho city of Macon, Oa. From 4 he fncts as set forth in tho Ma con Telegraph there are few little farms iu Georgia that uro more profit able. Tho farm covers sixty acres and is planted this season iu a single crop oats. All tho land inclosed by tho linlo track is planted iu tho cereal, and some twenty or so acres in addi tion are under cultivation. The crop this season is nearly ready to cut and something like 2500 bushels will be the result. These oats would cost the city not less than $750 if they had to bo bought. Ihis is not all, for two cuttings of hny will bo made from tho same laud, which W. Lee Ellis, who is iu charge, estimates will produce something like 3o00 bales, which would cost the mu nicipality easily $:!0II0. Ihe city has more stock to feed than is generally considered. Taking tho lire department, the sanitary quad, tho street force and all, not less than fifty mules and horses must bo fed by the city, and all this proven der, raised under Farmer Lee's su pervision, is a direct saving. Mr. Ellis, in speaking of tho matter, says: "ihe cost of operating tho farm is practically nothing, except for labor needeil in plowing, planting aud har vesting. Tho stock must bo kept auyway, and, with tho number needed to do tho city s work, all that is neces sary in the cultivation of crops we raise can bn done when tho animals would bo idle if not thus employed. Wo uso all tho fertilizer made by tho city stock. Outside of that wo have spent this year just $10 for tho com mercial article." From a measured acre of the city land last year there was cut at a single cutting 5100 pounds of fine hay. This was after a forty-bushel crop of oats had been harvested, and early enough to muke certain another cutting of hay before frost. Up to tho time thai Mr. Ellis began to cultivate tho city's farming laud it had boon the custom to rent it out for $5 an acre. Its annual product in now estimated at over $00 au acre." Vorpolscs Capture ltiyu-lier's Hog- Ole Iverson, a rancher living on Mo- Neil's Islund, started from Tucoma; Wash., for home in a skiff. His only cargo was a quarter of a hog that he intended to salt down for batching when tho long days of winter come. As ho passed ntcilucooiu ho noticed a large school of porpoises all about bin httlu craft and soon discovered they were following him. When he reached mid-channel j tho school, numbering about 150, began to close in on him and two of the biggest ones worked up close alongside the skiff. Iverson bv this time was pretty well scared uud bent to his oars like a good seafaring Swede. But tho fleet-tailed sea pigs were too swift for him. As ho drew opposite tho United States Penitentiary one of the two lug lend ers shot out of water into Iverson's frail cruft, knocking the rancher over board, breuking one of his ribs und upsetting the skiff. The other big fel low grubbed Iverson's quarter of pork uud started to make oil' with it for deeper water. Tho rest of tho school started to rum him us one porpoise, and for an instant there was a minia ture maelstrom, with Iverson aud the big porpoise us a storm centre. Iverson, by a desperate cflort, mail- aged to swim out and made a lauding. Dr. Macklmsou of Stoilueoom was sent for, dressed the man's wounds ami Buys that he will be ull right ugaiu iu a few days, Iverson suys ho will sell his ranch cheap, und he has forsworn meat for us long a time us he must livo on the island. While tho sea fight was a serious ufl'uir for Iverson, it furnished much amusement to a party of excur sionists who watched it at a safe dis tance w hile on a wuy bout from Tucoiuu to Olyuipiu. Cut CuuKbt l-'os. The family cut of George J. Dudley, of Millbury, Worcester County, Mass., which bus long been famous iu the neighborhood us a hunter, broke all ecords tho other duy by capturing a hulf grown fox. Mrs. Dudley wus at tracted to the scene of tho combat, which wus near the burn, by tho un earthly yells of the fox. When she reached tho scene lieynard wus sitting buck upon his reur legs, howling with terror, whilo tho cat stood guard near by. Airs. Dudley s coming distracted the attention of tho cut for uu iustuut when the fox darted uway uud wus out ol sight in a moment. No ono saw 11 opening of tho contest, but thero was u wet uud matted spot uiion tho fur ol the fox that told its ow n story of the affair, uud it wus evident that there had been u light, iu which tho cut had been tho victor. 1 ho cat has caught rabbits aud no end of other smaller game, uud hus fought dogs to a finish, but foxes huve not been included be fore, so fur us known. A Tiiiic-KtH-llis; Iui. There is a dog ut Paris, Texas, who can tell the time of duy, ami calls his master for breukfust every morning Ho belongs to H. C. Peterson, u work mun of the cotton seed mill ut l'uris. It is Nick's duty, besides wukiug his master in tho luoriiniL' to tuko Ins dinner to him in u little pail every day Should Mrs. Peterson, by utiy mis chance, overlook tho matter, tho dog is sure to remind her iu proper time by bringing the puil uud urging her to till it. At first it wus supposed to bo the dog's intuition which en ilded lnui to kuow the hour, but ho has many times been seen watching tho clock aud once, when Mrs. Peterson set tho bauds uheud to test the matter, -M brought tho dinner puil promptly on tho stroke of 12, although iu reulity i wus only 11 o'clock- A SLUMBER SONC. Ton, with tho dark snd weary eyes, Wenry of love and sacrifice, f'omo with mo ovor tho waters pain In my small ray boat with the slender sail Into the twilight we shall st-AI. And tlin little (?ray waves along our knol Shall slnir you a slumber sons; of tho son, Where sloop emluroth unendingly. Tho (rray Hen Rplrlts In tender wtsn Hunll lay cool hands upon your eyes; In their arms of mist you shall fnll asleep. And sou ii reams Into your soul shall crenp And nona shn.ll know, but on tho shore Tho old gray willows, bent and hoar, Shall shiver and sigh to tliomsolvos next dny. Leaning out over tho sea alwny. Harper's Bar.ar. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Promptness is tho art of waiting for other people. Life. If some men had brains in propar tiou to their gall, tho whole world would be subject to foreclosure at their pleasure. Life. A mnn must toll ere pleasure's thrill Kollovos this life so vexed. You've Rot to pedal up one Ii til lire you can coast tho next. WashliiKton Rtar. 'Fi) dollars!" exclaimed an indig- nant inau who had used the long-dis- tuneo 'phone for as many minutes, "and yet they say 'talk is oheap. Judge. First Bather "What makes the water so full of weeds?" Second Bather "I counted eight widows in bathing this unuiiig." Philadelphia Record. She "I never expected to work like this when I married you." He "I didn't suppose you cared. You worked hard enough to get me, didn't you?" Indianapolis Journal. A swell yachting eluh from Duquesno Went siiillmf one day on the mesne. Hut the wlilto-wliiKcd yacht Hocked until the whole litcht All wished for dry land once nitesno. -l'uek. "Sad ubout the Du.enstiekers." What's the matter?" "They'vo lived together fifteen years, and they never had a quarrel until lately, when they bought bicycles of different makes." Chicago Becord. Her Tiresome Admirer "I don't believo you have thought of me since I've been away." Sho "Well, you know very well that tho doctor gave mo strict orders to do nothing that would tiro me." Standard. Tho Court "Gentlemen of tho jury, have you agreed upon a verdict?" Foreman (in tho Far West) "The gents hus, but thut stubborn cuss in No. 7 scut won t agree with us. Philadelphia North American. "Mrs. Meeker," observed a friend of tho family, "is a very superior wo man. Shu can converse intelligently, I believe, ou a thousand different topics." "Yes," sighed Mr. Mocker, "uud sho does. Chicago Tribune. "Marriage," said tho puffy man, "made mo what I am to-dny. Marriage is tho mighty engine of civilization." "Then, remarked MeCorker, "you are not self, but muchiuu mude, I sup pose." Philadelphia North American. "What iu the world is Smithers building ou tho lot next door?" "A cold storage house." "To keep his meats and groceries from spoiling?" "No; to keep his daily supply of ice from melting away." Cincinnati Tri bune. "How fashions do change!" ex claimed Mrs. Snaggs. "That is very true, "asserted Sir. Sunirgs. "Women used to wear dresses, thou they began to wear gowns, aud now they wear frocks." PitUhiirg Chrouiole-Telo-gruph. Blinks (after a long absence) "And how is Jinks getting along? Is he madly iu lovo with Miss Do Pntly as ever?" Old Friend "Oh! bo's all over that." "You don't say so?" Yes, indeed! Been married to her a your. .uw lork weekly. "What do you mean, sir," roured the irate father, "by bringing your portuiauteuu to iny house uud ordering u room?" "I'm udoptcd us ouo of the family," coolly answered the young muu. "Your daughter said sho would be a sister to ine." Standard. Wheeler "Huve you learned to make tho repairs ou your wheel yet?" Sproek "No. I never shall, either. I haven't u bit of mechanical genius." "Oh, yes, you have." "Indeed, I haven't. I couldn't even invent a car coupler." Ciucinnuti Enquirer. "Do you think," suid tho ludy who was shopping, "that anybody would steal this umbrella if I were to leave it for u few minutes?" "Beully, madam," replied the clerk, "1 shouldn't like to venture uu opinion without first ex amining tho umbrella." Washington Star. Salesman "If the goods are not just us represented, we will cheerfully refund your money." Burul Cus tomer "Don't tell mo seek yurus as thut, young man! Ye might gimme mo money back, but 'taiu't human uu tur for yo to be cheerful about doiu' it." Puck. "I suppose," suid tho amateur botunist. "that orchids are tho most expensive plants iu tho world." "I am not so sure of that," replied Mr. Diiiwiddic. "I have seen tho usor tiou that $500,1)00,000 is invested iu electric-light plants in this country." Pittsburg Curouiclo-Tclegrupu. Coiiuiiil iou ol' Mumps. According to the Postollice Depuit meut estimates, this country will uso next your of ordinary stumps 11,441, 107,000 of newspaper uud periodical stumps li, 402, 000, und of postugo due stamps 21, ICS, 01)0. Of tho ordinary stumps two uud lino hulf billions ure of tho two-cent denomination, uud 5, in ill Hi ill nre of the teu-eeut special de livery Belies.