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PUBLICAH.
VOL. XXX. NO. 8.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 9, 1897.
S1.00 PER ANNUM.
DTT
' '
The ancients know how to cheat.
JLoaded ilico Lave been found in tlio
ruins of ITereulonenm.
The horseless cnrrioge lias come to
stay. Tlio automobiles have been
lately introduced in the Paris flre do
partuieiit. At the present rale of growth of
population, Franco will have only
40,000,000 at a time when Germany
will have reached 100,000,000 and
llussia 200,000,000.
Statisticians declare that only six
teen out of each 1000 insane persons
become so by reason of love alTuirs.
These figures apply, however, only to
persons in asylums.
One of the fow communistio socie
ties, the Adonai Shomo, has passed
out of existence and. its property in
Potershum, Mass., has been sold. It
was of Adventist origin, originating
about thirty-five years ago, and was
most prosperous in the '70's.
' The project of turning Brussels,
Belgium, into a seaport seems to have
aet the citizens almost crazy. The mu
nicipal council has passed a resolution
for the construction of a huge electric
nt
i
igbtfiouso iu the centre of the city, on
the Place de Brouekers, to servo as a
beacon to ocean steouiers, as well as
an ornament to tho city.
New York City is to have a new
Academy of Design, to be erected on
tho Boulevard near the tomb of Gen
eral Grant, tho Cathedral of St. John
the Divine, and the new University of
Cojumbiu, and will add another to tho
magnificent group of buildings that is
now rising on the west sido of the city
between Central Park and the Uudson
River.
Official news has reached London to
the effect that the Chilean Government
is about to offer a Stato bounty of
$125,000 to any foreign country or firm
which will undertake to establish an
iron foundry in that country on a suffi
ciently large scale. The action of the
Government in this matter has been
prompted, it is said, by the increasing
evidences in that couutry of tho exist
ence of iron ore in large quantities.
' Iguatius Donnelly says tho great
floods aro caused by sun spots. Why
tho sun spots, which must exercise an
equal influence on tho cntiro circuit of
the globo very twenty-four hours,
should cause the Mississippi to burst
its banks and leave thelthine, Dauube
or Yolga practically undisturbed, may
not be very clear. But since Mr.
Donnelly has said it, it is evident the
planting forests or building levees on
a broader plan is of no use. The only
way to cure the floods, suggests the
New Orleans Picayune, is to knock the
spots off the sun.
A story was recently started by the
newspapers, relutes the Trenton (N.
J.) American, to tho effect that Mrs.
Cleveland had melted the spoons in tho
White House which had been used by
Dolly Madison and had had the silver
made into prettier spoons. The story
was a circumstantial one, goiug on at
much length to state that the silver
smith had oflred their weight iu gold
fur the spoons, but that Mrs. Cleve
land rejected the offer, sent the spoons
to tho mint, had them molted into in
gots, and then required au affidavit of
the silversmith that the same silver was
put into the new spoons. It is scarcely
necessary to say that the story was
made out of the whole cloth. It was
promptly denied at tho White House,
and the declaration was made that the
Dolly Madison spoons are still there.
" The deniul has not kept pac, however,
with the origiual story, which is still
goiug the rouuds of the press.
A writer in Publio Opinion observes
"The French and Germans have fre
quently made much fuss about alleged
trichina in our pork, and pretended
that other of our exports, that they
wanted an excuse for excluding, were
adulteruted; and all the time the peo
ple of those nations have sent over
here liquid poison, in the shape of
ines, brandies, beer, ale, etc., and
l heir confections have been notorious
for contuiuiug deleterious ingredients.
Both the German aud French wines
and food articles candies, etc. are
shamelessly adulterated, and often
with materials that ere dangerous to
health. Not six months ago the
chemists of tho British Board of Trade
tested a long list of Germuu, French,
American and British food aud drink
materials. The revelations were de
cidedly favorable to the American ar
ticles, and much to the discredit of
German and French honesty. . Beveral
of the German food articles were
found 'mixed with stuff dangerous to
heulthi and all the. French aud German
wines Mere discovered to be about as
lad a bad could be.
SOMEWHERE.
Bomowlicro, tnow, wo shall find thorn, all,
llio rose tnat mossomeu neyonu our
roach.
The star that hid 'noath an Inky pnll
Just ai we staggered across tho liouoh;
Tho bird that stilled Its cunning song
Just at we paused a moment to hear.
The fruit no'er ripened for whleh we Ions,
Tho skies that ilarkonou will nil Do clear.
Romowhom, I know that thn klssos wait
For which we languished in nays gono by.
And smiles will greet us alert, eliitn.
For whleh we waited In years that die.
Thn words unsjKikon comelond and clear,
Tho wonln withheld in thn dim, sad past
Bhnll III! with rapture our llst'nlng ear,
Tho heart s best pulses neat sweet and
Inst,
A FLOOD THAT IIELPED.
aw
RANDMOTHER
Melton lighted
the kitchen lamp
and set it in the
middle of the ta
ble. "We might as
well have sup
per," she said.
"Your father
prob'ly won't be bock till late."
I red aud Polly drew up their chairs,
and Oraudmother Melton brought a
steaming bowl of mush from the stove
aud dished it into two Bmaller bowls.
"I'm ns hungry as a bear," observed
Fred, between inouthfuls. "I think
it's a shame we have to go so far to
school. There isn't a siuglo boy or
girl in Springville that has to go half
so far as. we do."
"I don't Bee why father doesn't
move down there," complained Polly,
pouring more of the rich yellow milk
over her mush; '.'he could get to his
work just as well, and it would be
ever so much pleasanter than this
lonesome place."
"You uiiiBt remember that your
father isn't a rich man," answered
Grandmother Melton, gently. "He
owns this cottage, and if he moved he
would have to rent another home, and
perhnps he couldn't sell this one."
The Meltons had only been in their
new home since the summer before.
Both Fred and Polly had enjoyed it
very much indeed during the pleasaut
warm weather of August and Septem
ber. Then the wide, swift Mississippi
had gleamed through the willowB, and
there had been unlimited boating and
swimming and fishing. But with the
coming of winter the roads choked full
of snow and ice, and the winds swept
np the river Bharp and cold, aud it was
a dreary, lonesome walk of four miles
to school at Springville. As the win
ter progressed they had complained
more aud more, aud now for a week.
owing to the spring freshets, Polly had
been unable to go at all, aud Fred was
compelled to make a long detour over
the bluffs to avoid the lagoons in the
river bottoms.
"They'll all get ahead of me," Polly
had sobbed; "aud I can't pass my ex
aminations.
That morning Father Melton had
gone up the river to help watch tho
levees. Reports had been coming
from St. Paul, Ht. Louis, Cniro aud
other points farther up the great river
thot the water was rising rapidly. The
levees must bo watched night aud day
to prevent breaks. On leaving bis
home that morning Mr. Melton had
told Fred that he would be back before
dark, and that there was no dun per to
fear from tho water. All his neighbors
had told him that his cottage was high
enough to be safe, even in the greatest
floods.
"It's after 9 o'clock now," said Polly,
as she arose from the table; "I won
der where father is?"
"I'd go out and watch for hiiu if it
wasn't raining so hard," said Fred, aud
then he looked around toward tho
doorway, anxiously.
He caught his breath suddenly.
Then he half rose from the table aud
pointed at the floor. Grandmother
Melton dropped her fork noisily ou her
plate and her eyes followed the direc
tion indicated by Fred's finger. Polly
sat still aud gazed at the other two,
wondering whut it all meant.
There on the floor, crawling from
tho crack under the door, wos a dark
wriggling object. At first Fred had
taken it to be one of the swamp rattlers
so common to the Mississippi bottoms
and his first impulse was to spring for
his father's rifle which stood in the
corner.
"It's the flood," said Grandmother
Melton when she could get her breath.
By this time the black ribbon of
water was spreading, Hipping luto the
cracks and creeping out over the floor
toward the table. Polly broke into a
cry of terror. Even Grauduiother
Melton seemed uncertain what to do.
Fred Biiddcnly roused himself. He
remembered that he was the man of
the house, aud that he must watch
over aud protect it iu his father's ab
seuoe. So he sprung from his scat
aud threw opeu the door, not without
a throb of fear. It was dark outside,
aud the ruin cauio down iu torrents.
Curling up over the step they could see
the muddy water, aud they could hear
tho souud of it slapping against the
house. It stretched away into the
darkness in all directions as far as Fred
could see. He knew that already it
must be a foot or more high arouud
the house.
"The levee's broken," said Polly,
iu a scared, awed voice. JJo vou
think we'll be washed awavV"
At that moment something bumped
against the sido of the house with
so much force that the dishes rattled.
Fred ruu to the side of tho window,
peered out, and found that a big log
had washed down against the build
ing.
Grandmother Melton, who wus usu
ally cool and brave under the niost
Bomewlmm, the laurel wo missed while here .
ri'i. I.- . i . . . . 1
u.j ttnyn u.r ioruiieuis rea'Mieu ior in
vnln,
Somewhere tho ehnplet slinll ne'er grow sere
Nor loss prove victor o'er laggard gain;
Tho glory bo real that once wax dream,
Tho mountain Iwi leveled to vain below.
And a bridge shall span the fiercest stream,
Our foot no lunger bo halt nor slow.
Bomowhero, Is the rest for whleh wo strive,
The breast to pillow a weary head,
A priest to listen and cheer and shrive,
A life of living where naught Is dead;
A peace as gentle as yonder cloud
That flocks with beauty a shining sky.
Shall fill each heart, while the song-birds
loud
Aro trilling music, that ne'er can die,
-"-Hamilton Jay, in the Florldn Times-Union.
trying circumstances, was wringing
uer nanus in terror. t
"Run up stairs." shouted Fred.
"and Polly and I'll bring all the Btuff
wo can with ns. '
ttrauumotner Melton waited no
longer. She crept np the narrow stair.
way to the little attic. Fred ran to the
cupboard aud began filling his arms
with dishes of food, while Polly iu her
excitement seized the first thing that
came to hand grandmother s rocking
chair and struggled nn the stain
with it.
"We'll need clothing more'n any
thing else," called Grandmother Mel
ton.
"Fred ran back. The floor of the
cottage was now entirely covered with
water. He splashed through it and
seized all the clothing, coats and jack
ets ho could carry. Polly bravely
wiped away her tears, and when Fred
brought the loads to the stairway she
ran with them to tho bedroom where
Oraudmother Melton was sitting.
JJy this time the building had be'
gnu to shake aud quiver as the water
beat against it.
"She's going soon," shouted Fred,
"I'm afraid the water will reach ns
np here,'.' suggested Grandmother
Melton,,
Fred looked np. The ceiling was
low, and just above him there had been
an old trnp-door, now nailed np. In
stantly Fred seized tho ax and burst
it open. Above they could see the
dark sky and the rain coming down in
steady torrents. Fred piled a trunk
on top of the table and climbed out on
the roof.
Ho couldn't see far. but he could
near the roaring of the water from
every direction. His heart sunk; he
felt sure that they would all be
drowned. Suddenly something
thumped heavily against the side of
the building, aud the next instant the
front end of the room went un and
grandmother and Polly slipped down
toward the rear end. Fred narrowly
escupeu oeing nuriea on the roof.
"We re goingl We're going!"
screameu I'olly.
"We're just off the foundation," an
swered Fred, as bravely as he could.
Then he swung back down into the
bedroom and helped Oraudmother
Melton and Polly up through the trap
door to the roof. He covered them up
as well as ne could and told them to
cling to the ridgepole whatever might
happen. Then he ran down for a coil
of clothesline. This ho tied firmly to
the window at one end of the bedroom,
carried the other end up through the
trap-door, along the roof and dropped
it over the eaves. Down he went again
and fastened it to the other window
frame. It would do to hold to. Hardly
had ho finished his work when the
building gave another great lurch.
"Hold on!" shouted Fred.
The words were hardly out of his
month when he found himself thrown
violently from his feet. He caught a
glimpse of the water pouring up tho
stairway, and then the lamp was cap
sized aud went out. Next he found
himself pounding about in the water.
"Fred! Fred!" came the agonized
voice of Polly.
"Here I am!" spluttered Fred. In
fulling he had caught the edge of the
trap-door and Polly helped him to the
roof.
"We had all we could do to hold
ou," gasped Oraudmother Melton.
"We're moving," shouted Polly.
They rocked aud scraped and
bumped along, with the water swirling
aud crashing around them.
"It's our first voyage," said Fred,
with an effort to laugh; "p'raps we'll
wind up iu the Gulf of Mexico."
But Polly didn't laugh, neither did
Oraudmother Melton.
A few minutes luter they heard some
one shouting far out on the stream aud
they saw the glimmer of a lantern.
They shouted iu return, but there was
no auswer, and presently the lantern
was swallowed up in the darkness and
the three castaways were even more
lonesome and terrified thuu before.
They were compelled to cling firmly
to the rope aud the ridgepole all the
time, for the house was continually
bumping against obstructions iu the
stream aud cureening aud jolting like a
boat in a rough sea. Besides this,
they were wet to the skin and shiver
ing with cold and fright. Occasionally
huge forms would loom up near them,
and they would see the outline of trees
or buildings floating dowu the river.
They were momentarily afraid lest their
bout should bump into something aud
be broken up. If this happened they
knew they would have small hope of
escape.
Quite suddenly they felt the build
iug grind on something, aud then, with
a jolt, it came to a standstill. They
could hear the timbers struin and creak
and the current of the stream splashing
about it, but it did not move.
"Well, we're auchored," said Fred.
"I suppose we're out somew here on a
sandbar iu the Mississippi."
"Do you think we hnve reached '
Memphis?" asked roily, anxiously.
lo Polly it Beemed as if they had
been drifting for hours.
l or a long time they remained al
most still. Occasionally thev joined
their voices iu a great shout, but there
wos no answer. Ired said the water
roared bo loud that no one could hear
it, anyway, but it eased their spirits to
be doing something.
At last they started again with a lerk
and a shiver, as if some of the timbers
of the building had given aw ay. They
bumped ou for what seemed an endless
time, aud then, offer scraping along
for some minutes, they again stopped.
13y this time the rain bad ceased and
the moon shone out faintly through
the clouds.
"There's lights," cried roily, joy
fully.
Sure enough, on the hill, not such a
great distance away, they could see
many lights gleaming out over the
water. Nearer, there were other
lights moving about, as if in boats.
It s Memphis," said Tolly, and
then they all shouted at the top of
their voices.
But no one heard them. Tho water
roared too loudly. So they sat for
hours and hours it Beeined to them
until the gray light of morning began
to break in the east. They straiued
their eyes as it grew brighter and
looked off across tho gray flood of
water with its scattering heaps of
wreckage to the town on the hill.
"I thought Memphis was a bigger
city than that," said Polly.
"Jt isn't Memphis," said Fred, with
a little joyful ring in his voice that
made Polly and her grandmother look
around quickly; "it s bpringville.
"Siiringville!"
And Spriugville it was. They could
sco the little weatherbeaten church on
the hill, and the red brick schoolhouse,
and Judge Carson's home, and a great
many other familiar places, although
some of tho buildings thnt had stood
near the river had disappeared.
"But haveu't we come only four
miles?" said Grandmother Melton,
looking greatly surprised.
Half nn hour later two boats came
alongside and the castaways were car
ried ashore. On the bank Polly found
herself in the arms of her father cry
ing and laughing oil at once. Father
Melton looked old and worn and wor
ried. He had given np his family for
lost, and he was bravely helping tho
other people in the work of rescue.
After the flood was subsided the
Meltons went down to look over their
home. Father Melton hardly knew
what to do, but Polly Bpoke up quite
promptly.
"I tell yon, father, let's leave it
right here aud live iu it; Fred and I
won t have so far to go to school.
And what do you think? That is
just what Father Melton did. He
straightened the house around, built a
pew foundation under it, aud the Mcl
tons are living there to-duy, quite hap
py and contented. So you see the
flood helped two persons ot least
Polly and Fred. Chicago Record.
How Flower. Fasclnuto Insects.
Professor F. Plateau, of the Univer
sity of Ghent, has for many years car'
ried on a series of observations on the
modo on which insects are attracted to
flowers, the results of which are pub'
lished iu the bulletin of the Royal
Academy of Sciences of Belgium. His
conclusions are not in accord with
those of Darwin, thot the bright color
of the corolla acts as a beacon to at
tract insects. He believes that they
are attracted chiefly by some other
sense than that of sight, probobly thot
of smell. In the case of the dahlia
(single) and other species of Compo
site, tho removal of the conspicuous
rny florets have but little effect on the
visits of insects; nor had the removal
of the conspicuous part of the corolla
in other flowers, as long as the nec
tary remained. On the other hand,
soys Nature, the artificial placing of
honey on otherwise scentless flowers
resulted iu their being immediately
visited by numbers of insects. Where
the same species varies iu the color of
the flower, as betw een blue and white,
or red and white, insects visit quite
indifferently flowers of different colors
belonging to the same species,
Tlio Compass Plunt.
What is known as the Compass plant,
Pilot weed, aud Polns plant in differ
ent localities, is quite curious, aud iu
former days, when there were no rail
roads, was of great value in guiding
travelers. The leaves invariably point
north and south. Mango Park has
immortalized it as he says ho was
guided by it, when otherw ise his wuy
would have beeu lost and ho would
have perished on the dry plains. Tho
peculiar faculty of thus pointing to the
north aud south attempted to bo ex
plained by the fact that both surfaces
of the leaves display equal suscepti
bility to light whereus the upper sur
face of the leaves of plants, in general,
is more sensitive to light than the
lower; hence the vertical position of
the Compass plant, as unerring as the
mariner's compass. Professor Asa soys
of it "on the wide open prairies the
leaves are said to present their faces
uniformly with the north or south."
American Gardening.
Yli-toria'. Double. mm
Iter majesty the Queen has a double
in the pcrsou of an elderly lady w ho
occupies or occupied a position in
the Middlesex Hospital, w here she w us
known as the "Queen of Middlesex."
She is tho exact age of the Queen, and
became a w idow iu the same yeur that
the Queen lost her consort.
Testing Ktel. .
A new method of testing tho hard
ness of steel bulls has been devised in
Germany. The balls are dropped from
a fixed height ou a glass plate set ut
an angle; if properly tempered they re
bound into oue receptacle aud if they
are too soft they drop into auuthsr,
TIIE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Those Cycling Hells Quite tlio Hcverso
A Strike for Funds Not fctnsltlve
llule of Natural Kelertlon It Took the
Kilge OfT I'reyer of the Klnpprs, Ktc.
Those eyellng bells, those eyellng hells!
How many a tale their jangling tells
Of peop In'gono before their time
Who heeded not their startling chime.
To everyone they bring dismay,
And many a heart that once was gay
Within the tomb now darkly dwells
Tho victims of their dlreful knells.
And so 'twill bo when I am gone:
Those clangorous peals will still ring on,
For though caeh heart rebellious swells
There's naught can quell those eyellng
bells!
New York Tribune.
Not Sensitive.
Reporter "Thot rhinoceros has 8
skin two inches thick."
Editor "Humph. He'd make 0
good editor." Truth.
Quite the Keverse
Dollie "Was it a quiet spot whero
you kissed Mollie?"
Cholly "No; it was on the mouth."
Yonkers Statesman.
Prayer of the F.lopers.
"Papa, we have come back to ask
your forgiveness."
"All right. Have you paid the par
son, or is thnt charged to me?"
A Strike for Funds.
Bank Barn "What was the Inst
word yon had from yonr son at col
lege?"
Hoy Rick "Money." Puck.
Kulo of Natural Selection.
May "The man I marry must bo
perfectly handsome.
Belle "Yon are wise. Teoplo
should always marry their opposites."
Truth.
The Chicago Overcoat.
"Dodds is cutting a great dash in his
Chicago overcoat."
"Chicago overcoat? What's that?"
"Fur on one side and linen duster
on tho other."
It Took the F.tlge Oft.
The Customer "Confound you! yon
have cut my cheek!"
Tho Barber "By Jove! so I have. I
was wondering what had tuken the
edge off my razor."
Health Hint.
Goslin "I weplied to an advertise
ment which soid, 'Send $1 for a sure
method of saving doctors' bills. "
Dolly "Well?"
Goslin "Then tho answer wos:
'Don't get sick.' "
lMggustlng ISarbarity.
"Europe," said the South American
statesman, "is so excitable."
"Yes."
"Yes; they don't even hove a little
war without shooting each other."
Detroit News.
A Wise Precaution.
Start "Never kick a man when he's
down."
Dart "And if you kick him when
he's down, better seo to it that you
kick him hard enough to keep him from
getting np again." Truth.
Explaining- the Twang.
"Why do you Americans talk through
your noses?" asked Lord Toplofty.
"I don't know," said Hicks. "Poss
ibly because our ancestors didn't all
have hats to tulk through, like you
English." Harper's Bazar.
What Worries Illni.
"I don't mind being shot," confided
one English sparrow to another, "it's
being served up os a reed bird that
hurts my feelings."
"Why does that trouble you?"
"Because it is making game of me."
Narrow E.cane.
"After all," said the man, at the end
of the discussion, "no man really
knows what his neighbors think of
him."
"I came mighty near knowing once,"
said the citizen, with a reminiscent
look in his eye, "but the jury dis
agreed. " Indianapolis J ournul.
Kxnlalned.
"Ilere, waiter," cried Cadlcy,
"what's this?"
"Dot's do change, Bah, foil do five
dollar bill you arst me to change for
you."
"That's all right," said Cudley; "I
gave you a five aud you bring me back
four. I didu't ask for bo decided a
change as ull that." Harper's Buzur.
In the Wrong lies.
"Well, that's a funny thing!" ex
cluimed Mrs. Suuggs, w ho hud been
reading a uewspuper. "A witness iu
court did not know iu what mouth the
Fourth of July occurs! What do you
think of that?"
"I think that he should not havo
been called as a witness. Ho ought to
have beeu a juror." Pittsburg Chrou
iclo Telegraph.
A Woodchm-k That Climbs Tree..
"Jock" Dodge, of Luuesboro, Peun.,
was sitting in bis doorway when ho
saw a big woodchuck stealing ulong a
kuoll across the creek, not more than
a hundred rods away. The wood
chuck stopped at the foot of the tree,
inspected it for a moment, aud then
climbed it with tho euse of a squirrel,
but goiug up us a bear climbs a tree.
The animal did not remain long iu the
tree aud came down, letting itself
down backward. It then went up an
other tree, whero it could be seen nip
ping off tho sprigs of the pint) tree.
After eying the unusual sight for some
time Dodge took his rifle uud picked
the woodchuck from his perch. The
animal weighed twtjuty pounds.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
Gem o-iy 1 as now electric lights in
over 1009 postal cars, and Austria is
about to odopt the some system.
Among 1318 children in the Weis
bnilen schools it has been fouud thnt
only three per cent, had sound teeth.
Tho falling waters of Kern River
havo been made to furnish the electric
power for the town of Bukcrsfield,
Col.
The Japanese Government has voted
12,800,000 silver dollars for improve
ments aud extensions in tho telephono
service.
The grand total of the hydraulij
power at Niagara Falls secured through
electrical appliances is over 215,000
horse power.
It has been estimated that au oak of
average size, during the five months it
is iu leaf every year, sucks from the
earth about 123 tons of water.
In a new invention for making ve
hicle wheels, they are formed from
sheet metal by stamping, pressing or
cutting out, and nre secured to the
axle by bolts, bosses and oollars.
Herr CufTey, a German expert, scut
to Bombay by the Emperor William,
has arranged for on animal hospital for
the purpose of studying the plague
poison. He intends making extensive
experiments.
Barrels, casks.pnils.etc, are mode in
Germany by molding wood-pulp in the
desired shape, subjecting it to heat iu
the form of hot oir or water, steam or
other vapor, and compressing it by hy
draulic pressure.
Paris and Madrid will soon be con
nected by telephone, tho construction
of a line from Paris to Bayonne having
recently been determined upon. As
Madrid is already connected with Sun
Sebastian, it will be only necessary
then to join that place with Biarritz.
Professor Forbes, the eminent elec
trician, whose appointment by the
Egyptian government to report on the
possibilities of utilizing the Nile catar
acts for tho generation of electricity
was noted in this column some weeks
ago.has returned to Cairo aud expressed
himself as strongly in favor of the pro
ject. Following up the researches of two
German physicists, who were recently
led to conclude that three lines of oxy
gen in the solar spectrum were not at
mospheric, Lewis Jewell considers thot
he has proven conclusively that the
lines are produced by water vopor in
the earth's atmosphere, and that,
therefore, the Bpectroscopo does not
indicate oxygen iu the sun.
"Sundown ministers." -.'.
"Sundown ministers, by which I
mean preachers who are engaged iu
depnrtmeutal or other work during the
daytime and who preach evenings and
days when on leave of absence," ex
plained a gentleman who attended a
recent conference in Baltimore, "get
little or no consideration in our relig
ious conferences any more, and while
preachers do not like to talk out at
moetiu', they have no hesitancy in
speaking plainly iu private' conversa
tion. Ministers have au honorable
profession. They spend years prepar
ing themselves for their duties, hove
no other occupations or employment,
aud seek no other. There is but little
money iu the ministry, after all, for
though a few gifted or fortunate men
draw financial prizes by it, the great
body of them do not receivo the wages
received by the overage mechanic iu
the large cities. It is not strange,
therefore, that they should not like
sundowners. They have no jealousy
toward workers in tbo viueyard who
feel they can give their talents to the
good work. What they object to is
that persons should compete with them
when they havo other engagements un
til after sundown. As a minister at
the conference said to me, the sun
down preacher is neither fish, flesh,
fowl, nor even good red herring."
Washington Stur.
Why Ho Thought Theiu a Fake. -
Carson City, Nov., bus had to fall
back on its "giuut footprints" in a
neighboring quany as its star attrac
tion. A gang of convicts has been set
to work at hew ing steps ami paths lead
ing to tho "footprints" iu the solid rock
of the quarry. Among other things a
tunnel has been dug, showing where
the "footprints" disappear into the
mountain. This tunnel is about us
high as a inau. A recent visitor brought
grief to tho unfortunate convicts w ho
had to 'overhear the following shrewd
deductions: "Pshaw, I thought it was
a fake before, but this proves it. You
say them feetsteps are of a beast forty
one feet high, do you? Well, if that's
so, you just tell me how the critter
managed to walk iuto a tunnel which
bumps my head to stand erect in?" It
is said that when the convicts heard
this, several of them went over to tho
other side and wept bitterly, aud the
guards did not reprimand them for it.
New York Sun.
A recullar'tlpltuph.
Nora M. Hughes, au uumurried
woman about forty-one years of age,
died the other day, uud left a will
w hich provided for tho division of her
property estimated ut $15,000 or
$lli,00( umoiig her relatives, aud for
a monument over her grave with this
inscription:
TO TUK UKUOUY or OMC ;
; who was sAruineKU 1V A :
: BU-l'Al.LLb Ir'lllKSU. ;
Miss Hughes's family know s of uo in
cident in her life which should occa
sion Kiu-ha peculiar epitaph. Chicago
lleeord.
'llureourt'. lli-ty Chimney.
Sir William George Ycnublcs Vernon
llureourt, M. P., Liberal leader iu the
llritish House of Commons, bus been
lined $2. oil and costs iu u London Po
lice Court for allowing his chimney to
i-utch tiro through nut having btrtu
cleaned.
SUNSHINE.
A lesson In Itself sublime, ,
A lesson worth enshrining,' J
Is this: "I tako no hood of tlme.l
Save wh-n the sun is Bhlulng."
As life Is sometimes bright and fair,
And sometimes dark and lonely,
I.et ns forget thn toll and care,
And "note bright hours only." v
The darkest shadows of tho night
Are Just before the morning;
Then let us wait tho coming light,
1
t ii Muuiug puauioms scorning.
And while we're passing on tho tldo
Of Time's fast ebbing river.
Let s pinole tho blossoms by Its sido
And bless tho gracious giver.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"There's Charley Skates in block. I
wonder if he is in mourning for his
sins." "No, I don't think they're all
dend yet." Truth.
Jinks "W-is his father a great
man?" Binks "I gccs so; he doesn't
seem to amount to much himself."
New York Advertiser. .-
Spykes "Do you ho o any trouble
meeting your ereditois?" Spokes
"Not ot all. I flud my trouble in dodg
ing them." Detroit Free Tress.
Freddy "What is a bucket shop,
papa?" Papa "A bucket Bhop, my
sou, is the business place of the broker
across the way." New York Adver
tiser. "Did you get your name cleared in
that investigation?" asked the Alder
man's friend. "No," wos the gloomy
auswer. "It is still mud." Philadel
phia Journal.
Blizzard Bill "I hove seen cyclones
out West that blew the bark ofl; trees."
Texas Tom "That's nothing. I saw
one once that blew the bark off a bull
dog." Truth.
To "Reader:" To-morrow will be
Wednesday. To-morrow isn't Wednes
day, substantially for the some reason
that yesterday isn't Monday. Grasp
it? Chicago Tribune.
The St. Louis Post Dispatch says
that there is no State in tho Union in
which anybody but a funny writer
soys "sah" for "sir." Yes, su'h; that's
bo, Buh. Chicago Times-Herald.
"At what age does a man really be
gin to feel the weight of years?" "Usu
ally on his twenty-first birthday; and
it takes the sensation at least four or
five years to wear off." Cincinnati
Enquirer.
"And would you love mo just as
much, count, if I were a poor girl?"
"How can you doubt me? I would
love you just as much os you would
me if you should liud'out that I wasn't
count." Standard.
An Unconscious Explanation: First
Chappie "I wonder now, Charlie,
how the donkey ever came to be used
as the er, emblem of stupidity?"
Second Chappie (with a yawn) "Don't
know, I'm sure, deuh boy; it must
have been before our day." Brooklyn
Life.
"What would our wives soy, if they
knew w here we are?" said the captain
af a Liverpool clipper, feeling his way
along the banks of New foundland in a
thick fog. "I wouldn't mind what they
laid," rejoined the mate, "if we only
knew where we are ourselves."
Household Words.
Philadelphia Man "Well, you can
make all the fun you want to of our
slow ness, but I know one country chap
who came here and made 300,000 iu
three months." New Yorker His
that so? How did ho make it?" Phila-"
delphian "Got a job iu the mint."
Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
Slurs of the Ignorant:" There aro
ontirely too many offices," said a pri
vate citizen. "How yon fellows do
like to henr yourselves kick," said the
officeholder, w ith much warmth. "Too
many offices! And here I am so over
crowded with work that I have to give
up two good hours every duy from my
business to attend to my job." 'ui
cinuuti Inquirer.
. ' An Ideal Cltlxen. . i -
The ideal citizen is the man who
believes that all men are brothers, and
that the nation is merely au exteusion
of his family, to be loved, respected,
aud cared for aco.irdingly. Such a
man attends personally to ull civic du
ties with which ho deems himself
charged. Those which are within his
own control he would uo moro trust to
his inferiors than he would leave the
olucatiou of his children to kitchen
servants. The publio demands upon
his time, thought, aud money, como
upon him suddenly, aud often they find
him ill -prepared ; imt he nerves himself
t j the inevitable, know iug that iu tho
village, Stato and Nation, any mistake
or neglect upon his part must impose
a peuulty, sooner or luter, upon those
whom he loves. Johu Habbertou,
Water Carried the Current.
At a recent fire iu the basement of
a Chicago electric power-house, tho
firemen had great trouble iu getting
at the blaze. They had to chop holes
in the floor of the dynamo-room be
fore they could get a stream ou tho
blazing pile of waste. Not waiting
"'0 dynamos to be shut down the
through tho black smoke au
i turned a streuni on tho flumes. r
y
,ud
lu un instant they were flung to tho
groiiud with great violence, aud the
hose sent Hying into the air. A heavy
current had passed aloiig the stream
aud had shocked them. Though un
conscious wheu rescued they quickly
recovered. Electrical lteview.
A Kerb-, of Culut'iileuce.
The sixty-second double wedding
anniversary wus recently celebrated,
in a small tow n iu Indiana, of Moses
and Isuue Marty, twins, who married
Tabithu and Luviiiiu Mel'ormiek.tw ins.
Each couple bus had seven sons uud
live daughters, tho first children be
ing born within a few days of each
other, uud the lust children ult;o being
of almost exactly the some aye. Medi
cal Journal.