Forcsf Republican
jb published evmj Wmln -s Iny, by
J. E. WENK
Ofllce in Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building
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VOL. XXX. NO. 7.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 1897.
.00 PER ANNUM.
Fores
1R
1
Before tho end of this year every
one of the 1C8 towns in Connecticut
will be connected by telephone.
The Peruvian oil region is said to
cover 72,00 square miles. That of
Pennsylvania is about 850 square
miles. "
A correspondent asks the Chicago
Times-IIorald to "describe the Greek
cross." It would be much easier to
describe what has made the Greek
According to the London Labor
Gazette, there were 1037 strikes last
year, asjigainst only 876 in 1805;
the number of laborers involved
but
203,758 iu tho latter year, and
19S.,600 iu 1800.
only
A curious illustration of the diverse
conditions that mny exist in this coun
try in the fact that, while so many
people in the Mississippi Valley are
Buffering from floods the New Orleans
papers are raising money for sufferers
from the drouth in Louisiana.
A woman's bicycle club was organ
ized in Detroit the other day, but the
i Free Press says that it collapsed
J within a week because no two members
could agree as to the uniform to be
worn. When Colorado musters in its
company of women militia there will be
trouble. -
While a marriage coremony was
jieing performed near Danville, Va, , a
kerosene lamp flamed up and was
about to explode when the bride seized
it and hurled it through a window.
The groom then came out from under
the table, where he had hidden, and
the ceremony proceeded. ,:
. promotions are coming rapidly these
days in the npper official circles of the
regular army. What few veterans of
the Civil War are left find the age of
retirement close at haud in the young
est cases. "The army will soon- be
. in the bauds of officers trained only in
the walks of peace," observes the New
Orleans Picayune.
For the first time in twenty-eight
years the State of Ohio .is without
Democratio representation in the
United States Senate. The long period
of divided representation began in
16G9, with the election of Allen G.
Tburman as the colleague of John
Sherman. Once only has the rule of
divided representation been broken,
and that was in the Forty-sixth Con
gress, when George IL Pendleton was
the colleague of Senator Thurman.
One of the new dictionaries has in it
a pretty big and yet perhaps a useable
word, "politicalization," of which it
seems to be itself somewhat in doubt,
although it half-supports it with . I
quotation from the Brooklyn Eagle,
which coined the phrase. The Eagle '
it seems, once referred to "the steady
politicalization of the publio schools,"
by which it meant the subjection of
these scllools to political control
Whatever we may think of the word,
.oomments the New York Observer, the
danger indicated is certaiuly a real
one.
Illinois women are making a strong
effort to lift the compulsory education
niw of their State into activity. At
present the law only ,remaius that
every child shall attend school for six
teon weeks each year. Children easily
evade it by an irregular attendance
during the last term of sehool. When
the school has closed it becomes diffi
cult to determine whether or not they
have had the prescribed amount of
tuition. Actually, although there is a
penalty for infraction of the law, and
although infraction is frequent, the
penalty has never been imposed. It
is believed that a simple amendment
requiring the sixteen weeks of tuition
to be consecutive and at the begin
ning of the term, aud providiug for the
enforcement of the law, will be suffi
cient. " .
A newspaper artist has been telling
some of the woes of the men who make
pictures for the duily papers. He says
It makes me tired sometimes when
ar Boiue smart Aleck who couldn'
tell the difference between art and
side of sole leather criticise newspaper
illustrations. . The publio doesn't uu
' derstand what handicaps are coutiuu
ally thrown about our work. A few
days before election I was given
Btrnctious to make a portrait of one
of the candidate. He gave me an old
daguerreotype, made just after the
war, aud said he had had no photo
rMih taken sintifi then. WelL I made
his picture all riguTffct jVS
do it I first had to cut ofLtultX,
aud curl his moustache. Then I gave
him a hair out, parted his hair on the
other side, gave him a stand-up collar
and a modern cravat, aud added thirty
vears' worth of wrinkles to his faoe.
d yet they ay such work ihu t art.
THE SAME
Mothers, out of the mother-heart,
Fashion a son hot Wfcoft and low.
4?
Always the same, dcr mot.ner art,
Hocking the baby to ana iro.
AlwayB a lar.y, loving crone,
Hummed in sleepy undertone.
Down the baby snuggles to sleep
Winking as long as wink he may.
Now with a kick he tries to keep
The trlcksny god from his eyes away
We-wa, we-wa, long, long ago,
The Indian mother chanted low.
Weeing, she said, on the baby's brow
HoUly struck with his wee war club.
Astride of his nose he playoth slow.
With his little fist a rub-a-dub.
We-wa, we-wa, tender and low.
Booking the baby to and fro.
Le-ro-la, le-ro-la, ever a mum,
Like murmuring bees In the golden light
Under the palm trees mothers eome
Ethlope mothers, dark as night
Chanting the same old silvery flow,
Bwulglug the baby to and fro.
TALE OF TWO RINGS.
a
ARSON," I said
involuntarily,
stooping to knock
the ash from 'my
cigar, "perhaps I
ought not to ask,
although I have
known you for
nearly three
years, but is it usual lor a wile to wear
two wedding rings?" .
Dead silence. He had just lowered
his violin, after a very soft solo for it
as considerably past midnight when
ventured that ourions question.
There had been an evening party, and,
as I was to stay at the house till morn
ing, Carson's wife had said "Good
lght and left ns to finish, our inevita
ble smoke and talk. His mouth
twitched a little, but it was some time
before he retorted in a low tone:
Is' it usual for a man well under
forty to have hair as white as mine?"
"Well, perhaps not but I thought
you attributed that to some shock or
other. What has that to QO with
with the two rings?"
"Everything." Ho listened at the
door for a moment, turned down the
lights and then came and sat down,
spreading his hands over the fire.
'Two rings? Exactly, one is the ring
I put on her finger when I married
her; the second was put there by an
other man, and will stay there as long
as the first."
"Never mind now," I said. His
voice had trailed off huskily. "I had
no idea there was any tragic element
behind the fact.".
"Tragic? Heavens! It was more
than that, Arthur," he whispered.
turning up a drawn faoe. "I never
meant to touch upon it, but when you
spoke it came back with a rush as vivid
as if I had been standing at the mouth
of the old north shaft again. And that
was six years ago.
"You ve heard me speak at least, of
the mine itself the Langley Mine, in
Derbyshire. I had only been assistant
surveyor at the pits there for about
nine months when it happened. At 9
o'clock that morning, Arthur, three of
us stepped into the cage old Jim
Halliday, the foremau, his son Jim,
and myself; the men had gone down
an hour before. I shall never forget
that young Jim's sweetheart had
walked over to the pit with him, as she
occasionally did. They were to be
married in a week or two, and she
and she had on her finger the ring that
he had bought in Derby the day be
fore just for safety's sake, or perhaps
out of womanly pride. I recollect that
just as the chain clanked and the win
ter sunshine was disappearing over
head, he shouted out a third 'Good-by !'
to her little dreaming that it was
to be good-by. Little enough old Hal
liday and I thought that days would
elapse before we emerged into God s
sunlight again!
A new vein had been bored the
year before, and then abandoned be
cauBe it' ran in the direction of the
river. We three had had instructions
to widen it for a space of 300 yard
piece of work that had occupied Jis
nearly a a mouiu. yjia jim piciteu
and young Jim wheeled the coal away
to the nearest gallery, from where it
was carried over rails to the bottom of
the main shaft.
"Well, by 4 o'clock that afternoon
we calculated roughly that we had
readied the limit laid down.
" 'I think it's as near as possible,
Mr. Carson,' old Halliday said. 'Jim,
give another count, we don't want the
water coming iu.
"Jim went back. We oonld hear
him singing out the paces in his light
hearted fashion as he returned, his
voice echoing through the long galler
ies. 'Two-sixty-nine pooh I you're
miles off it, dad!' He was only a
score of yards off, though. 'Two-six-ty-uiue
two-seventy-four. It'll allow
a full twenty yet, I reoon.'
He had just fiuished his count when
but there, no man could properly
describe it. It was something one
had to realize for himself before he
could understand a bare half of the
suddeu terror that whitened our lips
aud seemed to bring our hearts to a
standstill. There was a rumbling in
one of the distant galleries, aud a sick
ening tremble of the ground under
neath us; then then the most paralyz
ing sound, I do believe, that is to be
heard iu this world. How or why it
happened is something to be placed
among the host of unsolved mysteries;
but there was one grinding, splinter
ing roar, as though the earth had split
into pieces.
"Before we could stir haud or foot
to save ourselves, before we could even
take in that an eiplosion had occurred
whiVa we were guarding against an
othejrsort of danger, down thundered
-mm
OLD SONG.
Mothers, too, with the snowy skin,
Hy-lo, by-lo, tenderly sing.
Ana tell the dustman coming In,
Into the bnbv's eyes to fling
Atoms of dust to make him wink,
And into dreamland gently sink.
We-wa, we-wa, by-lo, by-lo,
Le-ro-la, lo-ro-ia. ever the same
Ever the tune of the long ago!
Out of the motherlv heart It came.
Born of a sense that mothers know,
' Itocklng the baby to and fro.
White or black or bronze the hue,
Alwnvs the tramo swoot tuno Is henrd.
The sweetest song earth ever knew,
Ilappy as trill of the nestling bird.
Mothers oontent In the twilight glow
Are rocking tnnir babies to and fro.
Mothers, out of tho mothor-heart.
Fashion a song both sweet and Ion
Always the samo, dear mother art,
Hocking the baby to and fro.
Always a lazy, loving cron.,
Hummed In a dreamy undertone.
The Home Queen.
a mass of coal, tons upon tons of it.
that blocked up the only passage lead
ing to the shaft. It just reached
young Jim; standing where ho did, he
was struok down we heard his screech
stifled beneath the debris. For about
five more seconds the earth seemed to
be heaving and threatening universal
cnaos;tnen all became still as a tomb,
"A tomb! We had our lamps; old
Jim and I looked, and saw that we
were cut off from the rest of the world.
"What happened next I hardly
snow; i was stnpined with the shock,
sick with a mortal fear of death. He
and I stood staring mutely at each
other. The only thing I recolleot is
that his face was gray as marble, and
that a line of froth stood on his hps.
"He was tho first to come back to
sense. He gave one choking cry of
'Jim!' and staggered forward to that
black pile. The boy's hand was stick
ing out from the bottom of it, clutch
ing convulsively at nothing. I sank
downand watched, in a sort of dreary
fascination, as old Jim, uttering
strange cries, tore at tno mass in a
mad frenzy. God help him! Jim was
the only thing he had in the world to
love. In less than five minutes he had
dragged him out, aud- sat down to hug
him in his arms. Dead? No; he could
just open his poor dust-filled eves in
answer to his father's whispers; but
we Knew at onoe that he would never
again make the galleries echo his pierc
ing wnistie.
:n . - .
xor wnoie hours. I suppose.
neither of us attempted to realize our
situation. We sat on in the dead si
lence, waiting for something to hap
pen. unco or twice we saw young
Jim's blackened lips move feely, ana
bbou time iiis iatuer would mutter
brokenly. 'Ay, my precious boy, we'll
look after her I" Once the old man
broke out, quaveriugly, into the hymn,
"Auiue vvnu Mer but he got no fur
ther than the third line. That, per
naps, was about o o clock, but we
could keep no count of the time, as my
watch had stopped. Hour after hour
must have gone by. and still old Jim
sat, with rigid face and staring eves. I
clasping his burden. In all probability
ill was uioruiug aoove grounu before at I
last he spoke.
How long can we hold out, Mr,
Carson? I'm afraid to go on. I've
been a godless man all my time.'
x nat rousea me. i examined our
position carefully. 'The passage was
about eight yards wide at this point.
and measured about twenty paces from
the end to where that solid wall of
coal blocked our path to the outer
world. As the bore ran level with the
foot of the north shaft, we were about
forty feet below the clear surface. We
had no food, and our lamps would
burn, say, another five or six hours;
while the breathing air, hot and gas
eous already, would probably become
unendurable before the evening came.
i nat was our situation, and let any
man conceive a worse, if he can. One
slender chance of escape at the best
left; perhaps the entire passage was
not blocked, and we might force our
way to the main gallery. I was not
afraid of death in the way that it comes
to most people, but I was afraid to
meet and struggle with it there. We
sprang to the task, wild at the thought
that those few hours of stupor might
have made all tne dinereuce.
'.'You can guess what happened, and
why, after a long spell of fighting to
break through that horrible wall, old
Jim threw himself down with a groan
and refused to go on. As fast as we
loosened one mass, another crashed
down in its place; at the end of our des
perate attempt we were half choked
and blinded with dust, our hands were
raw and we had made scarce any head
way. Jiareiy, too, nail we given up
the work as hopeless when my lamp
flickered' out; half an hour later, old
Jim's followed suit.
'Total oblivion! As I bat and con
templated our fate, a faintuess of
mingled hunger and despair crept over
me. Young Jim, quite still, was
propped up against the wall close by.
Within a few feet of me sat his father;
at times he would start up and shriek
out in nameless terror at others he
would catch up his pick aud hack at
the walls with the fury of a maniac,
And worse was to come.
"I think I must have fainted. I do
not seem to recollect any more until
the moment when 1 became conscious
of my mate's bard breathing over me,
aud of the fact that his hand was feel
ing or, so it seemed foiRiny throat
I dashed away, pautingiuder the
shock of this new horror.
" 'Jim,' I gasped, 'for Heaven's
sake keep sane! If we're to go, let us
die like wen!
"No auswer; I heard him crawling
away, and that was all. 7Jh dead
silence was only broken by a faint
trickling sound. Trickling! Yes; I
put my hand to the level, and found
holf an inch of water and hotter and
stifling grew the atmosphere. Pray
ing hard to myself, I realized now that,
should no help come, only a few hours
could live betwixt ns and the end.
And then old Jim might go first, and
I should be left. Nay, I was already
practically alone; the fear that was
slowly whitening my hair had turned
old Jim's brain.
He suddenly sent up a peal of
delirious laughter. 'Water! Who
says water? Why, mates, I'm swim
ming in it! Here a go!
"Presently he began creeping round
to find me. I could hear him coming,
by his labored respiration, and the
swishing of the ooze as he moved.
Round and round the space we went
stealthily, until at last he made a cun
ning rush and caught me by the ankle.
Got him!' He yelled it with a glee
that was unmistakable.
More words could never convey
the sensation of that moment. Half
suffocated, past all ordinary fear, I
closed with my poor old mate, and we
went staggered to and fro across our
prison, until at last I managed to throw
him so that his head struck heavily
against the wall. After that he lay
quite still. I believed at the time that
I had killed him, but we knew after
ward that it was that blow which pre'
served his reason.
"The rest can be told in a few words,
After that I lay there like one in a
dream, while the pestilential air slowly
did its work. Sometimes I fancied I
could feel cool breezes blowing down
on me, and at others heard some one
telUng me to wake up, for that the
whistle had sounded at the pits. How
long I lay so, I can only conjecture. I
really knew nothing more until I was
roused by the sound of that coal bar
rier crashing down before the picks
and spades of a dozen rescuers, and
the hubbub from a dozen throats as
they broke into our tomb.
Only just in time. Old Jim s face
was only inst out of the water, ana
they said that no human being could
have lived in that atmosphere for an
other two hours. And young Jim?
well, there was just enough life left in
him to last three days.
"Till the end of that third day, I
kept to my bed; and then they sent to
say that he was going, but that he
wished to see me first. I reached the
house just in time to catch his last
whisper.
" 'Ion you 11 take her, mate! Marry
her no one else! Only only, you'll
let my ring stay there. Promise me
thot.'
"What oould I do but promise? I
had no thought then of marrying his
sweetheart but it was his dying wish,
and for years Jim and I had been like
brothers.
Just a year later I asked her if
there was room in her heart for me,
and and well, that's enough. Now
you know why my wif,o wears two wed
ding rings. Tit-Bits.
Episode, of tb Flood.
When John Andrews, a farmer liv
ing on Island No. 8, in the lower Ten
nessee, woke up one morning during
the recent high-water experience he
found a good-sized house stranded in
one of his fields. Like other struct-
ures carried away by the flood, it had
floated down stream from some point
aoove w uuu lougiueui iu tuo auauown.
The wanderer was a large two-story
log house, sealed and plastered and
filled with furniture.
One of the results of the flood in the
west end of East St. Louis brought
about a novel funeral procession. Will
iam Lorman, a plasterer, died. The
street was flooded and neither car
riages nor hearse could get near the
house. The Btreet-car company was
appealed to and responded with two
trolley -cars. une was used for a
hearse aud the other was utilized by
the mourners. The journey to the
gates of the cemetery was made in this
manner.
Canada Covet, a Moom Head.
Harry M. Church, of New Bedford,
Mass., who last October shot the larg
est bull moose ever seen in New
Brunswick, has just received word that
the Provincial Government at Fred'
erickton has confiscated the moose 8
head and placed it iu one of the publio
buildings at I rederickton, says the
Boston Herald.
Mr. Church left the head to be
dressed when he returned home, but
found afterward that the uiau he left it
with had endeavored to steal it from
him. He secured legal advice and
made a strong fight to secure the head.
Fiually the attention of the Govern
uieut was called to the matter, and, it
being the finest specimen ever shot in
New Brunswick, the antlers spreadiug
out over five feet and having twenty
prongs, the head was confiscated on
the ground that the animal was illegal
ly shot, aud it was thus prevented
from leuAing the Provinces. The
mooso weighed 1000 pounds
Till. Vug Carrie, an Umbrella.
A New Orleans correspondent of the
Philadelphia I lines writes: On
quiet little thoroughfure letting off of
St. Charles avenue, there might have
been seen during the heavy rain yes-
terduy afternoon a big shaggy New
foundland dog carrying a spread um
brella in his mouth, his dripping tml
sticking out irom under aud wagging
complacently.
Investigation revealed the fact that
there was a little girl under the um
brella with the dog, her tiuy arm
arm thrown around his neck, and the
two tripping along most amicably,
'My name is Marie," said the little
maid upon being questioned, "aud
this is Beauregard, my very own dog.
Yes, Beaury goes to school with me.
I go to the kindergarten, you know.
and he r.lways carries the umbrella if
it b raining, because I ran t, you see,
and he can." Aud the big umbrella
sheltering the two friends paused on.
JNDUSTRIAU
Munich, Bavaria, reports
bottled
liquefied air.
Some comet have more than one
tail. The great comet of 1744 had six
tails spread fan shape.
Two French biologists find evidence
that fasting lessens the effect of diph
theria and other microbial poisons.
The largest mammoth 'found in the
iberian ice fields measured seventeen
feet in length and was ten feet high.
Electricity has been" adopted as the
motive power of the machinery con
nected with the drainage system in
New Orleans.
To guard against disease the Legis
lature of New Hampshire passed a law
providing for the inspection of all ice
sold within the State.
The eye of tho vulture is so con
structed thnt it iB a high-power tele
scope, enabling the bird to see objects
at an almost incredible distance.
A nugget of platinum, weighing
nearly two pounds, is on exhibition in
New York. This is believed to bo the
largest nugget ever discovered, the
metel being usually found in very
small grains.
A company has been formed which
made an offer to the municipality of
St. Petersburg, Russia, to light all the
streets of the city with electrio lights
for the same price that is now paid for
the very unsatisfactory lighting with
oil lamps.
Charles Burckhaltcr, the astronomer
of thelChabot Observatory, of Cali
fornia, will travel half-way around the
world so that for two minutes, in far-
off India, ho may endeavor to photo
graph the Bun during solar eclipse of
next January.
True manna is said to be found on
the blades of a blue grass growing in
Queensland. Nearly three parts of it
consist of mannite, which, though
sweet, is not a sugar. Masses as large
as marbles appear on the nodes of the
stems. The manna-bearing grass is
not only indigenous to Australia, but
is found in tropical Asm and Africa.
Telegraph and telephone poles are
the latest development in the line of
manufactures from paper. They are
made of pulp in which a small amount
of borax, tallow, and other ingredients
are mixed. These are cast in a mold
in the form of a hollow rod of the de
sired length. The poles are claimed
to be lighter and stronger than wood,
and it is said that the weather does
not affect them.
RAISING A BIG BELL.
It Weigh. Ninety-Eight Ton. and I. Over
Twelv. Feet High.
For some time past thero has been a
sort of dead-heat between the two big
gest bells in the world, the one at the
Cathedral in Moscow, and the other at
the unfinished pagoda of Mengoon,
India, north of Mandalay across the
river. II the former was tne bigger oi
the two, it was cracked, and therefore
useless as a bell, while the latter,
though whole, has dragged its sup
ports down till it rested on the ground,
and would not emit any sound, jnow,
however, it has been reswnng, aud can
claim attention as the biggest bell, in
working order, iu the world, says Lon
don Sketch.
In 1896 the Burmese community
decided to have the bell raised, and
employed the Irrawaddy Flotilla Com
pany, Limited, to do the work. The
rim of the bell was first supported by
huge baulks of timber wedged in all
round, and a tripod erected over it to
fasten the shackle to and keep it up
right."Theld supports having been
knocked away, two large iron columns,
twenty-five feet high, cast by the Irra
waddy Company, were erected, with
concrete foundations. A large steel
cross-girder, with a distributing girder
on the top of it, was then passed
through the shackle, and the bell was
raised by sorewiacks all round and
wedges of timber, until the cross-
girder oould be placed on the pillars
and riveted in position. The screw-
jacks were then eased and the bell left
swinging, with its lower run about two
feet ten inches from the ground. The
weight is about ninety-eight tons, the
circumference at the base being ol
feet, and at the top tweuty-six feet.
It averages over a foot in thickness.
The bell itself is over twelve feet high,
and the shackle, which was intended
for logs of timber, about twelve feet.
The pin iu the shackle has a diameter
of sixteen inches. The bell was , oust
about the beginning of the century by
King Bodaw-paya as an accompani
ment to the huge brick pagoda which
he never finished. It is said to have
been cast on an island and rafted across.
No proper nieaus yet exist for striking
the bell, but when hit with a heavy
piece of wood it gives out a deep
vibrating boom.
Derivation of th. Name, of th. Day..
Sunday is so called, because it was
anciently dedicated to the worship of
the sun. Monday means literally the
day of the moon. Tuesday was dedi
cated to Tnisco, the Motb of our Saxon
ancestors, the deity that presided over
combats, strifes aud litigation. Hence
in England Tuesday iuciHize day; the
day for combat, or commencing litiga
tion. In this country it is generally
the day selected for the opening of
court terms or sessious. eduesday
is so called from Wodiu, or Odiu, a
deity or chief among the northern
nations of Europe. TuiVHday was
named by the Suxons from Thar, 'the
old Teutonic god of thunder. Friday
is from Frea or Friga, a goddess of the
old Saxon mythology. Saturday means
simply Saturn's day, 'the name being
derived from the deity of that name.
Traveling on th. Juugfrau.
On the new Juugfrau Hallway in
Switzerland no passengers will be
accepted until examined medically, and
ff any travelers feel ill they must get
out, and they will be afforded medical
attendance.
SCIENTIFIC AND
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD DY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
He One. It Alone Knw-letertnln.l -Novel
Writing I-ei.rt.nlng Thrown In A
New TiM-fc His Kplnnlnn The Tnie
Test A (llrmtnv Climax, 1-tr., F.tc.
Ere they were wed 'twas freely said
Hho led hlra by tne nose;
Now his turn's come; she sits at home,
Aud wonders where be goee.
Cleveland Leader.
lr term lnf,l.
'Don't appear to be in such a hurry
to meet him. Maud.
'I'm only hastening to pass him by.
Judy.
Novel Writing.
"Fushpen thinks he has struck a
new note in fiction."
"It must be a bank note." Chicago
Record.
leafentng.
'A man who will wear such a suit
of clothes must be deficient in taste.
"Taste! Why. he must be hard of
hearing." Detroit Journal.
A New Tack.
"Mv wife is a most original wo-
man, soul jurown. --wuy, wnoa i
n littM 1 T
proposed to her, instead of saying
'this is so sudden, sue said, wen, l
think it's about time.' " Harper's Ba
zar.
Thrown In.
Wife "It does seem hard that when
a woman marries sue has to in no uer
husband's name."
Husband "Well, Bhe takes every
thing else he's got, why leave that
out?"Pick-Me-Up.
HI. Kzplanatlon.
Johnnie has been accused of crying.
"I des I aiut," he maintained, gulp-
,nK- . ...
'What are yon doing tnen t ques
tioned Uncle Henry.
"Lett in' my eyes leak." Chicago
Record,
A Gloomy Climax.
"Did you finish the story you were
at work on?
"Yes." replied the litterateur.
"You were in doubt as to its conclu
sion. Lid it have a nappy or uuuappy
ending?"
"Unhappy. The editor reiused to
print it." Tit-Bits.
The True Test.
Bess "You could hardly call her a
socinl success."
Jess "Whv. she seems to have
ulentv of admirers."
Koss "Oh. ves. II vou looa ai it.
' .. 1 1 .1 1L
that way. but I don't believe she's on
friendly terms with a single mau she
ever rejected. Chicago Journal.
All He Could Carry.
"I took the dough," said the gentle
man who had been caugut ko'B
through the clothes" of a drnukon
man. "because I don t believe in no
man a-havin' more than he needs."
"But how did you know that ho did
not need his money?
"Uf course he didn't need it. He
was plumb paralyzed." Indianapolis
Journal.
No Clreat Danger.
In the Criminal Court the presiding
Judge on the bench, a German, asked
to be excused from jury amy.
'Whv?" asked the Judge.
"Well, Your Honor, I don't under
stand good English. .
"Oh, you will do," replied tne
Judge. "You won't hear much good
English here, anyhow. ruuaueipnia
Record.
Wifely Accomplishment.
Mrs. Commonstalk (soberly) "Aro
you sure your fiance will make a good
home body, Ely? Do you think she
knows anvthiug about meuuiug, lor
instance?"
Chollv Commonstalk "About mend
ing, mother? Why, that is her very
strnnirest tioiut. I saw her mend a
busted tire onoe in just fourteen min
utes by the watch." Harper s Bazur.
TU Why of It.
"Perfidious woman!" he hissod
tbroiicrh his clenched teeth.
"Oh, why do you speak inus; suo
fultered.
"Thou well kuowest!"
Such was probably the fact.
Almost anybody could see his teeth
did not fit very well, aud hail to be
kept clenched if they were to be hissed
through with any degree oi comioiu-
Detroit Journal.
An Ac. Limit.
"Did you speak to my father?" said
Miss Gushlcv.
"Yes," replied the young man wun
embarrassment.
"You told him that despite your
humble fortune, we wished to marry?"
"Yes or something to that pur
pose."
"Aud what did he reply, luan
was too young?"
"No, not exactly. He said that I
was old enough to have more sense."
Washington Star.
Kherlock Agalu.
. "Ah." said Sherlock Holmes, sitting
down on the corner of the editor's desk,
"I seo vou have just received a story
from a young woman in a lawyer s
ollioe."
'How can you tell?" asked the edi
tor. "Cdn you recognize the lype-
writinir?"
'No. Dou t you see the string la
tied iu a regulation true love kuotf
That is the voting woman end of it.
And instead of ribbon she lias used
red tape." Cincinnati Enquirer,
Value of Cli'nu htreeU.
Tt nava to have the cbBuest streets
iu tlm
tl, u ...rid The stroll bureau in
Paris finds itself with a surplus
$10,000 at the end. of the year.
LIFE'S JOURNEY.
He went to seek his fortune
With light and Joyous tread.
Ami all his hag and' bnggagn
Was Just a crust of bread.
Bo proud and Independent,
That jouth upon that day.
Bo brightly beamed the future.
He threw the crust away.
Yenrs afterward a bllgrlm
Without sack or load,'
But with a stl.'k to lean on.
Came hobbling down the road.
It was the youth ynn wot of,
Now humbled, bowed and "bust,"
And he had lourneved homeward
To try and find that crust.
I. L. Parks, In Truth
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Bobby "Fa, what is an heir-at-
law?" Pa "Usually the lawyer.
Bobby." Judge.
"I can't see why they Rpenk of the
wisdom of the serpent." "Well, you
never heard of a serpent getting its leg
pulled, did yon?" Truth.
Gosling "Miss Oldstvlo seems to
be very strong on literature.'' Miss
Giddy "Yes, poor thing; that's all
that is left to her!" Truth.
'My husband is a great lovor of tho
beautiful." "Indeed he is. I should
think that yon would almost feel jea
lous sometimes." Detroit Journal.
Jimmy "I heard Tommy Jones was
ill nearly all tho holidays." Johnny
Yes, and what s worse, he got well-
just in time to go to school." BoBton
Traveler.
Mrs. Hashoroft "Is there too much
seasoning in tho turkey, Mr. Billings?"
Billings "No; I should say there is
too little turkey in the seasoning."-
Indianapolis Journal. .
Freshman "I would like to get
shaved, sir close, sir." Barber
"Exactly, sir; there is nothing better
for the scalp than that, if you don't
mind tho looks." Judge,
Frances "Yes, he is pursuing
literature." Gertrude "Indeed. And
s he very successful?" Frances
'No. It is still a long way ahead of
him." Cleveland Lender.
Tcocher "Tommy, if you gave yonr
little brother nine sticks of candy and
then took away seven, what would that
make?" Tommy "It would make
him yell." Harper's Bazar.
"How could you have the norve
after hearing her to tell her that Bhe
sang divinely?" "Why, my dear fol
low, a woman who would sing like that
could be told anything?" Puck.
The Boarding MistreBB "And sha
moved away owing you for three weeks'
meat?" The Fat Boy "Yes'm! It
wasn't so much, mum. She kept a
boardin'-house, you know." Puck.
"Willie Wishiugton," said the
friend, "is one of thoso people who
tell everything they know." "Yes,"
replied Unas Cayenne wearily, "aud
he doesn't tulk very much, either."
Washington Star.
First Cabraau "I axed him free
dollars, but he Baid he hod only two;
an', anyhow, he said de legal fare was
only oue." Second Tubman "Well,
I s pose you took do two dollars an ac
cepted de apology. " Puck.
Tramp (desperately, to reporter)
'If yer don't give me some money,
guv nor, 1 11 commit suiciae oeiore yer
werry eyes." Importer (eagerly)' l
wish you would my good fellow;
"copy" is awfully scarce!" Staudard.
Waggish Friend "Where did you
get that" Spriggins (gasping).
'Eh! Wha " "That hair" uui
IT-. 9 nr Minvaal lt.iii.rbt if Afmllirl
jL.au v. i v. , . , , ' , -, ..',--- -,
the corner. I was afraid you were go
ing to ask me where I got this um
brella." New York Weekly.
Novel Itablilt Trap.
Many of the Russian farmers west of
town are complaining about jack rab
bits falling down their chimneys and
frequently lodging therein, stopping
the passage of the smoke. Their pea-
sautlike houseB which are an pro
vided with large fireplaces aud pro
portionately large chimneys are most
ly low and covered with -the "beauti
ful." The chimneys, of course, have
to be kept clear of snow. Aftor it has
been shoveled away Bcveral times, a
lorga funnel-shaped cone remains, the
walls of which are rendered icy by tho
alternate influence of the fire below
and the oold above. Any wild an
imal prowling ' around on a bitter
oold night, upon nearing one of those
smoke colics aud feeling the warmth
would naturally seek closer proximity
thereto, w hereupon its ventures would
invariably result in a slide, Mr. An
imal lauding iu the lire box below.
Kului (N. D.) Wind.
Koap From Buntlower Seed..
Those interested iu new industries
may be glad to hear that it is possible
to manufacture good soaps from sun
flower seeds. Sunflowers grow easily,
and need little attention. A company
has been organized iu the United
States to manufacture this sort of soap.
It is claimed that tho averago yield of
plants to the acre is 2500 pounds gross;
percentage of oil is one-third the
weight of the seeds, so that bun pouutis
of seed will moke 200 pounds of oil.
The lutter, wheu refined and ready to
use iu making soap, is worth about
$1 a pound, aud is said to make the
finest of toilet soaps. The net profit
of the suufloweis to the grower is put
at $11 au acre.
Hat Killing Tlu-lr Fad.
The newest fad iu Scott County,
Iudiaua, is "rut killings." The vicinity
has lately been invaded by hordes of
rats, which are doing much damage.
Wheu a "killing" is arranged all the
men aud robust boys iu the neighbor
hood are iuvited, and, armed with
clubs and accompanied by dogs, they
begin a systematic cleaning out of
barns, hayracks and corn cribs. The
rats are very fierce, aud several men
have been severely bitteu by them, but
the work goes oil nevertheless, sad thu
a , . i-u , r .. Ill, .rtnlitv of rodents at a kill-
of ;, oiw.ii. 'ii.ii Detroit Free Press.
4