The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, April 14, 1897, Image 1

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    iiie Forest Republican
For
Is publlsh.il every Wodn lay, by
J. E. WENK.
Office In Smearbmjfh & Co.'i Building
ELM STIIEET, TIOMESTA, PA.
Trnn, - dl.iMi Per Venr.
No subscription received for shorter
period thnn threu month.
Uorrepondence sollolto I from nil pnrts of
tha oouniry. No notlo. will be taken of
anonymous communications.
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Leeal advertisements tan emits par line
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quarterly Temporary advertisement mut
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Job work caaii on delivery.
PUBLICAN
VOL. XXIX. NO. T2. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY. AWUL 14, 1807. 81.00 PER ANNUM.
Rift
est
V
-
atiero nre more American vcftcola on
She ureal hikes tliau on tbe ocean, nod
. boir combined tonnngo ia greater.
Fnrope has increased its population
by sixty-two per cent. within the last
tixty two yearp, "hut in tbo samo time
i)0,00(0 K) of its inhabitant bnva emi
grated to other countries.
By n recent decision of a l'aria court
"couflrrool gntnblitig" is regarded as
a sufficient ground for divoroe. A
good tunny impecunious foreign noble
men will doubt ieaa continue to regard
it . also a sufficient ground for marriage.
,Tho lHst of tlio.,oU toll Rates in
Connecticut hna been removed, and
now there is not a road in tho State
that ia not free to nil who drive, walk
or ride. Tho day tvben the toll road
scrvod a useful purposo has passed,
oommonts the American Cultivator.
Popular knowledge on the quostion of
t. road mHKing has increased, making
many of tho free roads better than
some that have loug required a tol
to be paid for nsiug them. It is a
particular injustice to tho farmeri
who, by nndordraiuing, hove iuijpoved
their land for cultivation, an 1 havo
ft thus done most of tho improvement
Wnt nM len mado iu country roads,
V"ro obli8c,l pn toll for the nso
improvements which their labor
and money Lave accomplished.
Somebody has been investigating
tho rolation of tho number thirteen
with the cirr cr of Naosen, the Swod
isb explorer. Among tho facte be pre
eeuta aro the followiug : Tho expedi
tion numbered at first twelve men, till
a thirteenth was picked up in o port
on Jj.'.SUKV Norlh ! o u of the thir-ten,li-jiTer,.lost
his life". On Ma'rcb
13, 1 SOS, Nansen decided to leavo the
rhip himself and pross north with ono
companion. The Frnm struck a souther
ly current on January 13, 1SUC. and ou
August 13 she gained free water and
Nansen reached land again. On Fob.
ruary 13, 180(1, tho falso report wna
telegraphed that ho hod been seen in
Siberia. Three timo-i wore litters of
fchirtocn pups bom in Nonsen's pack
of Esquimau dogs, though it iararo that
more than six appear in a litter. And
finally it it said that thirteen publishe-s
' attempted to recuto tho publication
of Nanseu'e book, giving "his report of
liia adventures.
One of the curiosities of commerce
. Is a French report on tho caravan
trade of tho Libyan Desert and the
opening of a now trade route. To this
is a'ppeuded a list of prices in Bornu
lost year. Nothing could show more
. strikingly tho difleronoo between the
value of articles at the plaoo of pro-
.1 L . .
uuuwuu nun bit mo place of consump
tion, or tho universal readiness to sell
lOlalftfl Vlkai w I.- - . a
" - ' . v ij JJUJ
high prices for what we have not.
) Ureon glasseads were worth two
uunars per oko
pounds). Ivory was wwrtu thirty
Maria Thenwa dollars for forty okes.
An equal weight of green glass bonds
was worth $10, so that tho beads woro
worth nearly three times as much as
Ivory in the Boruu market. White
and blaok ostrroh feathers wero worth
52.50 per oke, which was exactly tho
prigof soap. Slaves were worth from
$3 to 7 a head, whilo Martini Henry
rifles were worth SI 00 each, and oven
tbo cartridges were wfirtb half a Maria
V Therota dollar apiece.
- , .
Xhe importaut paper on "A Pre
Columbian Discovery of Amerioa,"
published some two years ago by Mr.
Voule Oldham, late lecturer on geog
raphy at Owens College, England, i
again brought into prominence in the
current number of the Goographioal
Journal, says the Manchester (Eug
hind) Ouardian. The facts are, Bhort
t!mt iu a maunscript map of the
ooastof Africa, druwn in 1448, by
Andrea lilauco, there ia an extensive
coast lino indicated towards the south
wo.'tof Cnpo Verde. Along this is a
hulf-indccipherable legeud, which Mr.
Oldham reads "itolaotintio.ha xelongn
a poneute 1500 mia ;" that is, "island
authenticated, distant towards the
webt 1500 miles." In the hands of un
believers the words can be interpreted
differently, according to the bias of
their unbelief, after the fashion ridi
culed by Dickens. Hut Mr. J. Iiatalha
Iteis defends tho rending here quotod,
rft criticises iu detail tho objections
- urged against it by Signer Errari and
others; for example, the alleged ij.nn'
rauce of the Portuguese (;ovVJtiit. cl
on the matter, und the niwic'e of lis
toriaus. Whilo stryugly supporting
Mr. Oldhnm'a OtfiolusioUH, ho wurut
us iiyniujjiailniiuing ns proved that
jtt'- i n i-M'j hi jixvmub nilUWU IU lie
;'l'i. It will be observed thul
J o iht oi lirazil, which is here iu
.j'uMiou, wns tuns nppareutly uiseov-
t ri d nenrly hulf a century befora Co
uuibuc uisde Li i J fuuious voyage.
BETTER THAN
Bultortbsn ponlus when npplloJ
To work Hint aids the wrong
Is consclnnoe linked to common so two
In effort clonn and strong.
Cotter than Rood by chonling won
Is honest Inbor'a pnyi
Nobler tlinn one enriched ly fraud
Is ha who tolls ench day.
Belter than dootlsby slu Inspired,
Though thoy succoiis linpnrt,
Is one kind net that frumdlilp glvoj
To some poor aching heart.
tt
Sarey.
BY CnATlliES S. ltRTD.
T was a dnrk night
that settled down
over the moun
tains of Upper
South Carolina.
The sky was
heavy with blaok
clouds, and the
low mutterings
of thunder which
seemed to issue
from tbe ravines and gorgep, and tbe
zigzag noshes of lightning which
darted away from the bill tops, all
foretold the ooming storm.
Down over the rocks and among
tho shrubs a young mountaineer was
making his way. He seemed to know
his ground, and moved onward with
unhesitating step until he reached a
point overlooking a deop.w lid, gorgo,
whoro, far down through tbe darkness,
shone tbo faint glow of light. The
yonng woodsman stopped a moment,
then muttered :
"He's thar alraady. 'Pears to me
that fire makes too much light, though.
Wonder what Jiob's a gwine to say
when I tell him I This ts about the
safost pockot in tho hull ridgo, and
now I guess wo'll havo to move."
He turned away and pasod around
to the sido of the gorgo, where he
mado his way down by a cironitons
path to the bed of the ravine below.
When he came within tho glow ot the
light, he entered the doorway of a
small log house built np from the
ground, tu one end of the place was
a rock furnaco, end on it was a large
copper kettle with a cap and stem. A
Ore was burning under the kettle, and
near tb furnace, seated upon a rough
benob, was a youns; man with light
reddish hair, sandy muftacbe, and
blue eyes. His trousers were stnfled
down into bis boot legs, and by his
sido on the bench lay n large, wide
brimmed white hat, the brim turuod
up iu front and pinned to the crown
with a large thorn. In, a belt about
his waist were two shining revolvers.
The young man who eutered the placo
was dressed and acoontored very much
like the young man on the bench, and
in his face was a blood resemblance,
for they woro cousins liob and Alt
lionkin.
Alf entered through tho doorway of
tho cabin aud orossed the earthen
lioor to'the furnace, where ho stirred
and replenished the fire. The place
was a blockade distillery owned by the
two cousins, and operated by them,
with the assistance of Tom Drake, who
worked on a profit sharing basis.
Along one side of tl)9 shanty was a
high platform oh which rested two
large vats. 'These, were tho mash tabs,
and entering through the end of the
house was a little trough which sup
plied the cool water barrel, in which
the "worm" was coiled, with thM
waters of a bright little stream near
by.
When Alt bad "chunked" the fire,
he sat down by tbe othor man ou the
benoh. After a little pause, Bob
asked :
"Where iaTom?"
"What d'ye reckon?" answered Alf.
"About Tom? Dunno."
"Well, voumonghtn't think it.
Bob ; but he's jinod the revenues. "
"You don't mean to toll!"
"Yes, bnt 1 do, though. He wont
down to Wulballa to-day to take the
oath J and he's promised to gin us all
away."
After a long pause, during which
Bob sat with his chin in his hands, ho
spoke.
"Alf, I never 'speotod it, I rever
did."
"No more did I ; but hit's a fact,
for Sarey told me no more'u a hour
ago."
".Sarey told you herself?"
"Yes, and she's power.'ul cut up
about it."
"We've worked together right here,
Tom and me, for nigh ou to seveu
year, and never had airy shootiu' or
cuttin' scrape atween us not airy
one. Alf, 1 dou't hardly believe it."
Bob shook his head slowly aud
dropped his chin into his hands aaiu.
"Well," said , Alf, "1 guess you'll
have to arter a whilo. I seod Sarey
jest about a hour ago, aud she told me
all about it; and, Bob, she actually
shod teors.she was so out up, shji-wa;".
"What duJ.ftU6-8,Ty--Aff?"
"She said' as how Tom had jined the
rcveiiiiers, aud turned agiu us ; and as
liow we'd all better keep a sharp look
out, b'oaso Tom knows every smoke
ou tho ridge."
"Poor Surey," said Hob, half to him
elf. "Sbe sot sich a powerful bij;ht
"by Tom, and tho wus'a gwine to mur
ry him this fall. And I loved her
euough moro'u Tom did; but I seed
the loved him, so 1 didn't try to come
atween 'em didn't ever try to. And
now he's gouo aud disgraced hijself,
aud muybo broke Sarey'n heart. Alf,
we'll meet, him und me, and 'taiu't a
gwiuo to be long oft. And when wo
do, Alf well, it's him cr me, him or
mo, that's all;" mud tbv young block-
OOLD OH FAME.
Better than fanfo by sncrlftcs
Of mauhood's honor won.
Is honoKt reputation ca'ned
By manly actions done.
Belter than vice, though It b clnd
In piirjilo rich and rare,
Ii vlrluo, IhoiiKh a homespun drew,
'TIs doomed foro'er to wenr.
BettiT tlinn palace where swoet love
Has never hold Its reign
Is home where true nfTtetlon dwells.
Though It be e'er so plain.
Caleb Dunn.
ader tapped one of tho revolvers in
his boltsigniflcantly. "I loved Sarey ;
and Tom well, I'd hato tc do it, Alf;
but it's him or me ; thar ain't no other
way, as i can see."
Bob arose and "chunked" the firo
under tho kettle, then walked around to
the side of the furnace, where a little
white stream of spirits was pouring
from the end of the protuding "worm"
into a long kog.
"How is it?" asked Alf.
"Qood enough ; that mash will turn
out all right," said Bob, returning
and seating himself on the benoh,
where he again dropped his chin into
his hands, and lapsed into silence.
Tbe rain began to pour down with
a sudden fury, the low board roof giv
ing book a melanoholy sound to the
patter of the big drops. The thunder
und lightniDg had conned, and the
blackest darkness roigned without.
Bnt the weird shadows which dunoed
aronnd tho walls in tbo firelight were
old acquaintances of the two men in
side, who took no notice of their gro
tesque pantomime.
Finally the rain ceased, bnt the
nttor blackness still reigned without,
for the clouds hung low down over the
cliffs and the troa tops. For more
thau half an hour neither of the men
had spoken. Alt had made a discov
ery, and had been thinking about it.
Bob was iu love with Sarey Mauldin,
and Alf loved her himself. It seemed
that all three of the partners loved
the same girl. But Alf and Bob had
seen that Sarey preferred Tom Drake,
and both had secretly resolved not to
coino between them, each one ignor
ant of the fact that tho other was mak
ing the same sacrifice. New hope had
sprung up in All's bosom sinoo Sary
had told him of Tom's treachery. Now
ho bad discovered that Bob loved her.
fie resolved to keep the secret of his
own love, for Bob's sake ; and again
tho liopo passed from his heart.
When the rain oeased, the two men
-arose ; and, whilo one of them dragged
tuo nre trom under the furnaoe, the
other removed the cap from the still,
and thcu pluoed a corncob in the
bunghole of tbe kog that held the
product of distillation.
"Bob, I guoss we better move the
still to a safer plaoo this rery night,"
suggested Alf.
"Nary a move, Alf I This still has
been here nigh on to seven years, and
here sbo's agwine to stay.".
"All right, if you say so ; I'm not
the man to step off and leave you."
"Alf, you can tote the keg down to
tho burnt poplar as you go home, and
I'll stay here till she oools off and
kinder straighten things np afore I go.
I'll meet you at tbe burnt poplar agin
daybreak in the mornin'."
Alf shouldered the heavy pins keg,
and, passing through the doorway, was
soon lost to view in the darkness.
Bob again seated himself on the
bench, with his chin ia his bands, and
gave himself np to melanoholy reflec
tions. Alf had been gone tome time, and
the embers that bad been raked from
the furnace gave ont only a faint glow
to light the interior of tbe still bouse,
when a dark form appeared in the
doorway. Bob heard the step, and
instantly sprang to his feet with a re
volver in his hand, but as suddenly
dropped the weapon and stood back
when he reooguized the visitor.
"You, Sarey l"ho exclaimed. "What
brnng you here nt this timeo' night?"
"I've come to ginyou warnin', Bob,"
said tbe girl, as she threw a light shawl
from round her head and advanced
across tho eartheu floor. The smooth,
round cheeks were glowing from the
exertion of her walk, her eyes shone
brightly in the dim light, and her long,
blaok hair hung in charming disorder
about her pretty shoulders.
"Wurnin' for vhat?" asked Bob.
"Warnin' agin Tom Drake. Has Alf
been here to-night?"
"Yes; he's beeu gone about a half
hour."
"And didn't he tell you about Tom?"
"Yes; but, Sarey, somehow I
couldn't more'u half believe it."
"But hit's so, Bob; he told me so
hissjlf, n i l he's gwine to git you and
Alf fuit. I couldn't sleep to-night for
thinking about it, so I jost got np and
come over here to bog you and Alf to
move your still somewhore else this
?erv night."
"iiut f Clu't 'ifl it- Sarey ; sho's boen
here a long whut, audTefdHsivo'S,'
gwiue to stay."
"Ob, Bob, jost to think o' Tom a
lurnin' agin' all you uus, aud I been
a thiukiu' o' him as a fuller what
would stick by a body forevor ; aud
now he's gone und upsot it all. I told
him ! never would spuuk to him no
more. "
Snrey caught up hor apron, pressed
it to her face, and began to cry. Bob
looked at her, and choking back a
great lump from his throat, turned
away a step or two, theu came back
and laid bis big brown hand gently ou
the girl's arm.
"Dou't, Sarey, dou't 1" he said, "for
Tom ain't wuth no tears o' yourn. "
Ho led her to tbe boncb, where sbo
sat down, an I ia a few moments bad
dried her eyes.
'V3arey," continue 1 Bj alter a
pause, "Tom ain't wath nary 'nuttier
thought o' yourn, and I wouldn't
waste 'em on 'iru. Thar's n plenty ou
us le't yit thH's a sight better 'n
Tom."
"I know it; t only wish I'd a
knowed it sooner."
"Sarey, won't you answer me one
qneition? B'case I think a power o'
you, and I want to know."
"Of course I'll answer but question
you ar,Bob, b'cnseyon've allora been so
good to me, jest like a brotter."
"Well, Sarey, tell me which ono of
the boys you like! tho best arter
Tom."
"Why, I allers did like Alf jest as
woll as Tom, but Alf never 'peared to
like me, on 1 Tom did."
Again Bob swallowed a great lump
that bad gathered in his throat.
"Alf is a good feller ; he'd never go
back on us," he managed to say as he
arose from the bench, and began to
put things to rights about the distil
lery. His task oomplcted, he turned
to Sarey, who stood in the doorway.
"I'll walk home with you," he said.
Bob threw some water on the dying
embers of the fire, then led the way
through the daik, wet woods, followed
closely by Sarey, neither of thorn
speaking a word until they came to
the highway, about a mile distant.
They did not have far to go after they
had reached the road.
When Bob bade Sarey good night,
he gulped down another choking sen
sation which arose in his throat, and
turned about to retrace his way some
distance along tl)e road before turning
off toward his own home.
In loss than twenty-four hours every
moonshiner throughout the mountain
distriot knew that Tom Drake had
turned traitor and joined tbe revenue
force against his old comrades. Dar
ing the whole of the seoond night af
ter this information went abroad, men
were at work moving their distilleries
to safer retreats, ono only remaining
at its old stand the one that belonged
to the Raakin boys.
It was more than a week after the
night on which Sarey had visited the
still house, when Bob and Alf Rankin
were riding along down the road to
wards the home of Sarey. Neither of
them had uttered a word for some
titno. At length Bob broke tho si
lence, speaking without turning his
oyos from a direction straight ahead
oflum.
"Alf, you air the man."
"I'm the man?"
"Yes, you air tho man for Sarey."
"VVnat do you mean, Bob? '
"I mean that Sarey loves you bet
ter'n airy 'dither man on the ridge.'
"You don t sy? How'd you find
out?"
"Arter you left the still house that
night, Sarey was thar.
"She was?"
"Ye?, and she was a oryin' about
the disgraoeful doin'a o' Tom; and
and, Alf, 1 nxod her if thar warn't airy
'nuther feller she liked jest as well as
she did Tom ; and she 'lowed she
allers liked you jest as well, but you
never seemed to like her. Now I've
told you, Alf, and I want to know if
you love her."
"I allers have, Bob; but I stood
bask for Tom; and arter what you
said t' other night, 1 was gwine to
stand back for you."
Agaiu thit sensation as of tbe heart
rising into the throat came to Bob,
and tbe two men rode on in silence.
The sun was swiftly dropping to
wards the erestj of the western hills
when Bob and Alf ftopped iu front of
o'.d Jerry Mauldin'a lone, double
exbia. Sarey was si ting ia the open
hallway, shelling beans; bnt she arose
and cam ont to tbe road when tho
two men had dismounted.
"Tom's been seed a foolin' around
Long Creek to-day," saidSaroy, "and
I meant to send you nus word afore
now, bat pap's been ailin' all day, and
I couldn't leave him."
"We a. n't much afeared of him,"
sii 1 Alf. "He's been a keepiu' auiet
a sight longer'n 1 'speoted, though."
"We've been a look in' for him to
come down oq us at the still house
afore now," added Bob.
"Sarey, have you got any cider?"
asked Alf. "We're kinder thirsty."
"Lots of it. One of yon bold the
horses while t'other one goes with me
to the spring house, aud we'll fetch
up the jug and gourd."
"I'll hold 'em," said Bob droamily.
Alf aud Sarey turned away along the
path which led around tbe house, and
were lost to view. Bob stood betwoeu
the heads of tho horses with his ohm
against his breast. He was thiokiug
of tho treachery of Tom Drako, and of
the jewel ho had lost in the love of
Sarey Mauldin.
For once Bob allowed himself to re
lax bis watchfulness. About thirty
yards beyond tbe bou-e the road bent
suddenly to tbo right, and turned
abruptly down the hill toward a little
stream that wound its way aloug the
base of the ridge. Bob's ear, usually
sensitive to the slightest sound, did
not bear tbe approach of hoof beat j up
tho little hill behind the shrubbery
until the horseman had reached tho
bend in the road. Bob's hand flew to
his revolver as ho looked up; but ho
was too late, he was under cover of a
weauou iu the hands of Tom Drake.
as he rode up. - -
"Yos; like a fool I wont to sleep
and got kotchod. . What's wanted?"
"You air gwiuo with me to Wol-
hallu jail. "
"Tom, you air a moasly, low down
sneak."
"No, I've just now got to be a gen
tleruau, aud I'm a gwiue to mako gen
tlemen out'u all you fellers."
"Alf and Sarey will be here directly
with .some cider, then I'll go with
you."
"Bob, you'd better let me have that
weap'n. "
"I'll never do it, Tom Drake I"
"Well, keop it, thon ; I guess I oar
watch you."
At this momeut Alf and Sarey cam
around tho honse, Alf bringing
a large jug in his band. The young
man's quick oyo took in the situatiot
of the two men In the road, and in the
twinkling of an eye his revolvei
Unshod to a dead level with tha in
former's breast.
"ilold on a mmnte, Alf 1" shouted
Bob. "I'm fairly took, and I gues;
I'd better go with him."
Alf quickly -looked into the eyes of
his oousio, an I the two men seemed
to understand each other.
"Pass the cider over here, 8rey.
and I'll drink you a farewell for a
while," said Bob, smiling.
Sarey parsed the oidor in silence,
never onoe looking at Tom, who took
the gourd offered him by Tom and
drank.
"Now I'm ready. Good-br, Alf I
Good-by, Sarey 1" said Bob, as ha
mounted his horse. Tom mounted,
and the two mon, captive and captor,
rode away in the soft light of the lin
gering sunset. When they reached the
tutn in the road Bob looked back and
lifted his broad-brimmed hit to Alf
and Sarey, who were standing sido by
Bide gazing after him. Then they
faded from view, and the two horse
men rode on in silenoa. They were
approaching the bfook at tha foot of
the bill, when Bob spoke.
"Tom, I never would taka no moan
advantage of a follor ; so I'll tell you
now, hit's you or mo. Pull your gun 1"
Instantly two revolvers leaped to a
level in the gathering light, and four
shots passed with what seemed like
two simultaneous reports.
Alf heard them, and, weapon in
hand, sprang down tho road, olosely
followed by Sarey. A riderless horse
ewept by thorn at the turn of the hill ;
and when thoy reached the sandy level
near the brook they found two lifeless
forms lying close together in the nar
row road.
Bob Rankin and Tom Drake had
settled the question of honor between
themselves, and had settled the ques
tion of love for Alf and Sarey. The
Puritan.
SCIENTIFIC ASD I XI) US Till 1L.
A wild elephant has a keen sense of
smell. At a distance of 1000 yards it
can scent an enemy.
Compared with other large Euro
pean towns, London is easily at the
head for tha magnitude of its electrio
al supply.
Numerous experiments to determine
the best firo-resisting materials for the
construction of doors have proved that
wood covered with tin resists fire bet
ter than an iron door.
Whilo Emperor Francis Joseph of
Austria was visiting Bucharest, after
the formal opening of (be Jron Gates
of the Danube Canal, ha bestowed on
Queen Elizabeth of Roumania (Ctr
men Sylvn) the order of merit for
science and art.
The remarkable peculiarity of the
new dnrk rays, or "critical rays," re
ported by Professor E. Friedrich, of
Elbicg, Pruxsio, is that photographs
by them ot tha living hand show tbe
bones, while only the flesh is seen il
tbe hand is doad.
Bir.ls differ very mnoU in the heights
to which they oommon'y ascend. The
condor, the largest of vultures and of
all flying birds, hai peon observed
soaring over twenty-nine thousand
feet, or about five milojfanda half
above the level of the sea.
Persian pnpier-masho articles are
made out ot Bibles sent out by British
mission societies, aocording to Mr.
Hodvretta, a recent traveler in the
E ii'. He quotes the British consul
at Tabreez as saying: "Yon have no
idea what a boon those Bibles are to
the village industries of Persia."
A present of some deer fro-n Qaeen
Victoria is said to have beeu tithe
French colony of Not Caledjuia a
pest similar tt that ot tho rabbits in
Australia and tha mongoose in Tamaioi.
The deer hava multiplied with gre it
rapidity, and now invade the planta
tions, causing great loss to tbe farmers.
Petroleum is extensively nied in
Russia as a local application for tha
cure of gout, rheumatism, eczema and
other chronio skin diseases. The oity
of Eiizabethpol'conducta au establish
ment called "Naphthalan," on tbe
style of a watering plao?, where COO to
COO patients are annually treated.
Gratifying results are claimed.
A Remarkable Mexicjit.
Alejandro Ruiz, a Mexicin antiqua
rian and traveler, whoso collection of
antique curios, paintings aud earrings
tills a private museum at his homo in
Puebla, Mexico, at tbe aga of seventy
is learniug tho English language as a
means of occupying his time. He has
traveled in almost all parts of tbo
world, collooting whatever of interest
was old. He has boon an intimate
friend ot President Diaz since long
bofore the time of his elevation to tho
Chief Magistracy of Mexico, and the
President visits his home whenever he
travels through Puobla.
Her ltttuoi llrltllo Chalk.
Mrs. Mae Wiloox, of Bainbridge,
Penn., ha? a peculiar disease. Hoi
boucs Lave become as brittle as chalk,
and she is compelled to wear a plaster
cast. Recently Blip was carefully
-.,;., 1 A" ft carriage tij a drive, when
a 8hKht "Jolt snlis-"'-1 WT,9J tLe
fracture of her left hip." ,,11ir''?on.ai;
tiou puzzles tuj physioiana of tliii'
section of tbe State. New Y'ork Press.
Devi io (j Dry the II air.
To dry tho hair quickly a new de
viou bai a cyliu lor, with toeth project
ing from its tide, in tbo interior of
which n a lluiiiu of lire fed by a teser
voir iu the haudle, from which a wick
ruus into tbe oy liu ler, tmu produoinac
suMicitnt heat tu dry tho hair as it
parses over tho drir, linn's lioro.
THIS MCURY SIDE OF LIFE.
STOHItS THAT ATI'S TOLD BT THB
rmrjiES of the trzs
Sprint- Signs-V Track nt irimsrU
No Doubt or 1 1 Inlierltcil Ills H id
Aim Ills Conclusion, Ktc, Ktc.
Th un la cllmbln' hllier
An' the twilight's llnirerin' Intoi
How the poet strikes tho Ivr
Aa' the llnr dp,'s for bait!
Atlanta Constitution.
so nooiT OF IT.
Trnto l'n pa (ns the clock strikes 2)
"Ain't Mary's fellow Rons yet?"
Mamma "I jndgo by the length of
his Btny thnt ho i4, badlr." Omaha
Worll-Hcrald.
A CRACK AT niiittxr.
Mr. Elwell "It's ttrange, bnt trnc,
nevertheless, that the biggest fools al
ways mury the prettiest girls."
Mr. Elwell- "Ob, bow, rjo on, yoa
flatterer." Dublin World.
A MEDDWNO NOSE.
"You've got a very peculiar cose."
"Well, that's nono of your business,
is it?"
"No, but yon Eoera fond of putting
it in other people's." Truth.
nis c'ONCLcsiON.
Friend "Cau't get what yon paid
for tbe place? I thought you bought
it for a song."
Suburbanite "I thought so, too,
but perhaps inusio has gone up since."
ELUCIDATED.
"Why does everyone watch a newly
married couple?-'
"Singlo people watch them becnuo
they expect to seo some love-mnkiDg,
and married peoplu because they ex
pect to see a quarrel."
HOW IT UAFTEKED.
"Did you over enjoy the beauties of
n sunrise the glories of awakening
day?" asked the energctio man.
"Yes after a fashion."
"When wns thnt?"
"I dreamt about them once."
INHERITED HIS BAD AIM.
"His aim in life seems to bo a poor
one."
"Yes; ho inherits) that from his
mother. I onco saw her throw a stone
at a dog in the street and hit her bus-
land ia tho back yard. Belfast
.Vows,
CN WHAT IT DEPENDED.
Wifo (in millinery store) "Hca
tere, James, which hat is the most be
loming to me, this one at fifteen dol
arp, or that one at twenty-fivo dol
ars?" Husband "Wait till I look iu my
?ocketbook."
A DELICATE HINT.
Mrs. Porkcnsh (ailably, having spont
ihe wbolo afternoon looking at pic
tures without buying one) "My dear
Mr. Canver, I wonder, now, if there is
tnything vainer than you artists about
four pioturee?"
Poor Artist "Our efforts to soil
.hem, madame."
A MOKN1KO CALL.
Mrs. Gadd "I'm nearly tired lo
death; was at Mrs. NabbV party latt
eight."
Mrs. Gabb "J didn't go; in fact,
lid not got an invitation. Wero
there many there? '
"Ob, no I ft was very stleol."
New York Weekly.
a siom op rnosi'Emrt.
"We'll taokle Higgins's houss to
night," said tha mana jin ,llro-lor ot
tbe Burgling Syndicate to his first as
sistant. "I didn't suppose ho hnl anything
worth stealing," replied the lattor.
"He mutt have. Ho bought a lur
glar alarm to-day." Lii'e.
A CHANCfl TO SBIVK.
"It shall bo my ambitiou, fa'her,"
said the younj man who b vl finished
hie education, "to keep tho family
Damo frea from stain."
"All right," sii 1 tbo o'd man. "Tell
Mike to give yo i tho whiting and
ammonii and then yoa jro out and
polish up tho tiu." Indianapolis
Journal.
"Haven't you f.jrotteu something,
fir?" said the waiter to tho diner who
did not believe iu tips.
"If I have yi'U may keop it for your
honesty."
"l'bauk you, sir. Yoa loft this
pockcthook ou your chair. It prob
ably slipped Irom your pocket."
Philadelphia Press.
SillS B.IOLD THAT SUE LIKTD IIDt.
"Do you Ihiuk your sitter likts me,
Tommy?"
"Ye.-. She stood up for you at die
ner."
"Stood up for me I Was nnybody
saying anything against me?"
"No; nothing much. Father fa. I
he thought you weio rather a tio&key,
but sis got up ami said )uil st-ivq't,
und told lather he o'l -iut lo know I ti
ter tliau judge a itui ii by bis looLs."
Comic Cuts.
Art it J
There aio
l.ctli'i'4 i i V. nucp.
iu l'nmue '2150 women
'to-K'vcer-vl'uterNou
:b irom the
uoe away.
y and in
uld waste
Uidinging
tioht-ii bu
kin du ex
tculp was
raugii'ood
tor- ' tu-
- " I about 700
WHERE IS WISDOMT
They say thnt he Is wisest who can alwny
listen best;
Who thinks In silence, and so leaves the"
talking for tho n-V.
Tliti mny be so; hut tiiore are fools who pnss
as wise to-day.
Be tui. they sit and listen and have nothing
much to pr.y.
But s'nyl Is that man, arter all, nit passing
w.si wbo knowi
Eaousrh to hldo tin lnoraaen thit talking
wju'd exiojj?
Cleveland Leader.
IIUlIOll OF TilE DAY
Terdita "I wish I were a mn."
Penelope "Ye", wit'i all y.mr monev
you'd be quite a catch then, wouldn't
you?" Truth.
"What is pronunciation. Undo
Jim?" "It is something you hnot np
io a diotioonry one day and forget tbe
next." Chioao Record.
Editor (to eomio paragraphia)
"Yonr jokes lack originality." Coraia
Tararaphist (irritaMv) "3j doo
your criticism." Tid Bits.
"Do you thick that Wiggins is
really your friend?" Gorling "I
suppose bo; he's always giving me
disagreeable aJvioo." Truth.
Bacon "I see tho editor has come
out for athletic" Egbert "That's
itrAngel Ho to'd ma he wa going
iu for them." Youkers Statesman.
Cynthia "D j yon think Frank will
love me when I am old, Maud?"
Maul "Well, there's one thing, desr
you'll soon know." Pick-Me-Up.
"Is tbe sail the only thin,? that
guides a abip?" asked the green pas
seugor. No,'' said the mate. "There
aro rulders." Indianapolis Journal.
Kind Lady "What w nld you like
to eat, my poor man?" Tired Tre
fethen "Soup,' if you hnva it. It
doesn't need chowtn'." Up-To Dat.
Pbysioian "Y'oti have only a few
minutes to live. Havo you any last
wish?" Patient "I wish I had en
gaged another dootor." Yale Record.
With tha first pull tbe bell rope
parted. The sexton was in despair.
Then a happy thought ttruck him,
and be wrnn, his ban Is. Indianapo
lis Journal.
Mrs. Ton "Yon upfd to sny I was
the light of your life." Mr. Ton
"Yos; and I suppose that's why you
aro so easily put out now we are mar
ried." Judy.
Tho Customer "Confound you I
You have cut my cheek." The Barber
"By Jove, so I have! I was won
dering what had taken the edge off my
razor. " Standard.
Riggs "Halloa, old man!" Briggs
"Exouse mo, sir; you have the ad
vantage of me." "Yes, I guess I have.
Wo were engaged to tbe same girl,
but you married her."
Friendly Critioism. Artist- "This
is ono ot those peculiar pictures that
one has to be far oil to appreciate."
She "And 'way off to paint, I
imagiue." Harper's Bazar.
Ted "How did that English noble
man manage to borrow tho money
from Chollie?" Ned "On being in
troduced ho asked him if he wasn't
born on the other side." Judge.
Often and Often. "Ah, my poor
man," said the benevolent old lady,
"I snppose yon are often pinohod by
want and hunger, are you not?"
"Yessum ; and by de oops." Cincin
nati Commercial Tribuue.
"It's a shame," cried the yonng
wife; "not a thing in the house fit to
rat. I'm Roin right home to papal"
"If you don't miud, dear," said tha
husband, reaching for his bnt, "I'H''
go with you." Youkers Statesman.
Waiter (to cook) 'VStoak for onel
Gent don't want it riw, uor ho don't
want it bnrn't blaok." Cook (an
grily) "la that what ho slid?"
Waiter "No; not exaatly. I asked
him how he waute I it, an' ho said
ai'jdiunj.' " S,).ra .Mo nents.
Mimni-"i dou't sea why you oill
Daisy Martin el Ish. 1 thin'c she is
a very nioa little g.rl." Ethal "Oil,
mtnvn i, but sh) is sslfi-di I Kh j's al
ways at tha be 1 1 ot the eUs, aud sho
won't let auv of tha rest of us tret
ahead of her." 'larper's Bizar,
"What do you mean, sir," roared
tho irate father, "by briuging yonr
trunk to my house and ordering a
room?" "I'm adopted as one of the
family," 'Xs''. answered the youi
man. "aolrsVlanghtt r said she would
be a sister to me." Detroit Free
rres-.
Customer "I don't see how any
body ran handle a big stock of glass
like this without doing a lot of break
ing." 1'ersuisivj SiUsuau "Iher
cau't, ma'am. Two firms broke all to
pieces trying to handle thi 1V- Tbat's
hy we caa sell it so cheap. Ohictgo
Tribune.
He "I suppose vonr thoughts were
all on your new honnH during the
sermon this moruioj? ' She "No,
inieed, they were not." "I don't
believe yoa oau repeat any thin.? that
was said during the aei v.ee." "Yes,
au, to . 1 hear 1 a ludy behind ma
tay, 'Jsn t it fctuuuiu0'? "
"I dou't like vour milk," Slid tbe
mistress of the bouse. "What's
wrong with it, ruuiu?" "It's dread
fully thin, nu I timre'a no cream ou
I. "Ali.r you have Jivel in the
towu n while, miiiu," opoutin;, Gas and
man, rueoura'' ' 1
them 'o'- 'i i
Your patronage is respectfully solicited.
CHAS. AMAH.
KEPLER BLOCK,
TIONESTA, PENN'A
J