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VOL. XXIX. NO. 40.' TIONESTA, .PA., WEDNESDAY, JAX. 20, 1897. $1.00 PER ANNUM.
iST
"What is everybody's busino's
nobody' business." 'flint is why the
farms are improved and tho highway
to market in loft to -shift for ltaclf,
avers the L. A. W. Bulletin.
Tho secret murks on Dunk of Eug-
bind notes by. which forgeries are ho
rapidly detected aro constantly bring
t hanged. ' The microscope will reveal
mny such peculiarities !o nn obseiv-
t eye. '
1 '"
.la iavoi.t:frai'u-.:i of lha work of tho
t Kentucky shows
owned by oorporatioua
,'iiy Iksob confiscated and
traveled free of toil. It is
i urn tod. Hint the destruction of
U.'llgates in the Blue Grans region baa
affected $4,000,000 worth of property.
Tho Madrid newspapers Bay that
Spniu ia well able to punish tho
United Stntrs for ,"nny interfer
ence." The Dons evidently expect to
got things like this for their money,
comments tho New York Knn. It is
impossible to imagine that tho editors
fool i ili enough to bolicve tho
(ions statements they print in
. '.:'lt. '
"Shade of Sir Walter 8cott I" ex
claims tho London Chronicle, "Clany
W f 1. f f f - C . 1 -
CUu Chntlan, prosided at tho inau
gural gathering of tho clau in Glasgow
recently, but apologized fur not tip
pouring in tho kil, as he was afraid
f catching oold I Ho concluded his
rd dress by staticg that whenever thoy
-iiited hiui to lead them ho should bo
-t happy, so long, wo assume, as tho
i-i line and warm."
. liitiSa to America has oroatoii
i .i souroity of farm hands in Ger-,-My
that land owners are now im
iKirliug Chinese ooolies in hordes for
fiobt work in Silesia, -East Prussia,
Vosqn ttml'Poinorania, says the Chi-
' hg!) ,Xuws. Tho coolies work for
i .vi'ut y eouts a dy, aud tlio land own
-nr "enthnsfastirt, with tho remilt
i :y Germans who have hitherto
i .M.i.;ra(n nro being forced
' of wwtk. Yhen
ixtoiulod hii
problem of
' '
ju mo same as ours.
mi.'o in Alabama is steadily
; its way into the murkets of
i I world, the latent order boing
! "'iu for shipment to India, notes
f.ow York .Mall and Express.
- i.rpool, llottordam aud Genoa have
idy mude'liborai nhasos of tho
; j:ico product of the South, and
t o iu likely to be a still further do
! ml fo v in thoso -and other Euro-
ut eisi a. Tho noexamplod cheap-
"f production iu Alubama and
-V;e is gradually but sarely rev
. i.iziug tlio iuanufactnro of the
, t grades of pig iron in this couu
. uud the movement iu that direo
tiou ;s bouud to bo greatly accelerated
by (ho rapid development of tho for
uiu demand for our Inrnaoe output.
rii.ytioinns and Keientibts agree that
hot or fresh brciad is much more indi
gestible than old breid, doolaros tho
merman Farmer. Iu Germany there
i I : .v that no broad must bo sold be
; a diiy old. Th(L Americans
i-revlited with makiujj the worst
ii nd in a!! tho world, anyway, aud,
y ii.le, they consume nn inordinate
(luiulity of hot bread, aud on the
bread qnostion generally, seem to bo
below tho-averago in ci' ilization. The
Auieriuan bread is Ba0gy and heavy,
nud has too litllo crunt to bo.- truly
hygienic, and, furthermore, the fine
a Into flour has lost mitoh of is nntri
iivu value. All that goes to make
' :l. uud boue and to build up a fine
ivoua system is bolted frum tho
..tut. - ' .
Massachusetts has, according to da-
i ils of the census of just made
iiblic, 517,385 families, of 2,5 )0,133
kidons, an uvcrago of 5.17 to the
illy. Ti( large average is largely
11 ? .l jl. .1 TI
fcLl V lu" an oucupauis oi a
i.ott7r'oharitablo institution, a penal
jiiftitulion, or other buildings of tjjat
t-.'i't, are" considered as ot one family
.tb the proprietor or superintendent,
Uio case may be, counted as the
: of the family. The normal size
1 1 i l'uiuily, iu its commonly accepted
h.hu.', ia a fraction over 8J. The
ur-' bt ayuruge size of the families is
iu"SiilTolk County, whero it reaches
4.97, uud the lowest iu Nantuoket,
where it falls to 3.07. In the oities of
tho Blute the average number of rooms
tho family is CO J, and in the towns
7.00. The total number of buildings
iu the State iuteuded for human occu-
pnuey is 128,4'.) 1, containing 2, 003,985
rooms. Each person iu thl). State
would have au average -of 89,GjO
f iUare feet of the superficial area of
the !tute to move about in if the
property wore cut up aul distributed
X to ruta.
SOMETIME, fOMLWHERE,
EomntiiiiT", miraowbere, In the etxrpal plna
Will come a piioil to ofTsot every 111,
An Nature 'o book is balauwil, bo to man
A bftlnnco porfoi't some tlmro mii'it atvl
- Will;
Tbi, thn, our Ec.lace, wbon the vny is
dnrk
Ann only sorrows wi nfo piilloi to Flinrei
A.-i ormrt GoiVa aii.t'iiii-j o Hit? t-luiiii-tosl,
Ark
'Twill corns to us sometime, somewhere.
Somotlme, somewliero, lathis world orlbo
next,
And In some way, a perfect equipoise
Will come to souls by troubles now por
plext, Aud all our grlofa fla I nomponsalln!; Joys;
Go on, brave heartl if doing wbat you can
Llfo's burdens, as thoy some, to fully
boar
F'ltir not! tho justice that I due a man
Will all bo yours sometime, somowhore.
C, S. O'Neill, lu Donnhuo's Magazine.
SHAUK.
O my Rreat snr
priseUnole John
bought mo a
ranch in New
Mexico, and in
formed me Ui at
I waa to go and
manage ' it I,
who know about
ds much about
cattlo aud "tho
range" as the
average cowboy
knows about a
charity ball, and
and whodialiked
the Western country as much as I cared
for my club and my amusements n the
city I
But thero was no crossing Undo
John's will. If 1 did, then Cousiu- Bert
would get tho forturo that I always
understood was to be mine, so I began
at onco to make preparations for my
departure. I could have oudiired civ
ing up my club' and tho society of the
boys, but when I thought of Elinor, I
groaned. Wild thoughts of asking her
to go with mo ilushod through my
brain, onlv to be uisruiBSod as absurd
We bad known each other but throe
short months, 'and although she seemed
to show a decided preference for my
company, still I bvi n reason to bo
lieve thut tho beautiful and cultured
Miiis Curtis would leave her luxurious
home in the city for a ranch house, thir-
tv miles from a town, aud live tUtiroamid
rough cowboys, with only a few squat
ranchers' wives for associates, merely
that the might huve- the- pleasure of
bciux near me. It wus not to bo
thought of ; and it was with a heavy
t tll -l. T I. 1-1 II.- A .
heart that I boarded tho train for
Santa Ee, vainly trying to dismiss
from my thoughts the reproachful
look she had given mo the evening be
fore, wheu I informed her that I was
going away. Yet I had a vague feeling
of happiness nt having boon ablo to
elicit that look.
In duo time I arrivod at tho ranch,
which was not such a desolate place as
I bad pictured it. There was a com-
fortiblo house, aud tho olusleriu
barns and sheds behind it gave it
picturesque opgsaronoo which even
the long, lonoly stretolies of prairie
on three sides of it could cot entirely
destroy. I went to work nt once, and
before, a week had passed was uble to
cud some little pleanura in riding
about the range. To a certain extent,
I forgtt the torriblo stillness of the
plains by keeping my mind occupied
with learning tho particulars Of ranch
lid. I soon made the aoquaiotanoe
of my cowboys, and found most of
them to be sober and industrious men,
who seemed to' be working earnestly
for tho interest of the ranch,
began to think that ranoh life, while
it possessed little of romance, might
have its 'pleasures after all ; aud if only
idinor but I was not to think of
that
One morning, after 1 had beon ot
the ranoh about a fortnight, my over
seer, Licaso, informed mo that it would
be necessary totiavo au extra man nn
til branding time.
"There's au Indian stayiu' down at
Kambo's storo. that's anighty good
hand," be said, "I'spect yo could git
hi '.a tuout somebody ulue s hired mm
llis name a bhauk.
"I'll go down after dinner and see
if I can get him, said I.
That afternoon I rode to the little
settlement. As I drew up before the
s nail general store there was but one
person iu Light. He was an Indian
who sat on tho store platform, and
paid not tho slightest attention to me
as I dismounted aud walked past him
into the building. The storekeeper
was asleep behind the rough counter
and it took me some time to awaken
him. I inquired for Shauk.
"f hat him out there," said the mor
chant, rubbiug his eyes with one ham
aud pointing with the other to th
Indian iu front of the store, "You
ain't on ollicer, be ye?" he then asked,
suddenly becoming wide awake.
" "Xo, I am the new owner of tho K,
& K. ranch.
"Oh, I thought Shauk's time warn'
up yet." ho replied, resuming his
sleepy attitude. "Well, that's him
out there."
Without inquiring what he meant
by Shauk's "time" for a tenderfoot
should not be too inquisitive I passed
outside and informed the Indian of my
uesiro to hire him
"Will work till August 20th," h
Stud.
"But wo want a man until branding
time."
"Xo work after August 20th,
"Why?" I veuturod to ask.
lie turned his little black eyes upon
"Bo huug then," ho said laoonical
ly-
I gave a disgusted exclamation, Th
In liiu was surely druuk. But Lease
hud said he wus a good ruuch hand, so
I told luui thut I would hire him
till thou, uu 1 that I wuhed
WW
him to fro at onoo with mo to tho
ranch. Ho consented, and saving ho
would bo ready in a few momenta,
walked away to a Little board stable a
short distauoo from the store Ho
soon reappeared, loading a lean
mustang, on which was girted au old
Spauish saddle.
The saddle, which was of exquisite
workmanship and gaily decorated with
plaits of coloro.l leather, looked
strangely out of placo on tho raw-
boned pony and in the possession of
tho rough Indian, I afterward learned
that it was tho one pride of Shauk's
1 io, and that he refused to attempt
any unusual feats of horsemanship
wheu not seated in its capacious
depths, Wheu ho had vaultod easily
nto it, without tho aid of its hngo
stirrups, it scorned as if saddle aud
muu booamo one piece.
As wo rodo homeward, I tried to en-
gago him iu a conversation; but as I
got only gruuts iu reply to my efforts,
gnvo it np, and amused myself by
noting his apparel. His leather
breeches were blackonod and gieasy,
aud his flannel shirt, which ho wore
open at tho throat, was grimy with
dirt. On his head was a comparatively
clean sombrero, from beneath which
his long black hair foil down to his
broad shoulders. Uo wore a
pair of old cowboy boots, upon
which were bnokleu tho inevitable
spurc, clanging and jingling in time
to his mustang s quick little steps.
lie rodo along ns though indifferent
to all surroundings, and before we
reached home I found myself wonder
ing what pleasuro there could be in
life for such a man. What were his
hopes, his ambitions or bad he either?
At supper that evening I told Lease
of Shauk's extraordinary statement,
and asked if ho was in the habit of
drinking. To my surprise Leaso said :
Ho was not drunk ; it s so that he
is to be hung then. lie killod another
Indian ovor at Long's Banoh in De
cember, lbo man lie Kiuoa warn t
worth tho powder it tdok to shoot
him, but they convicted ShauU of
murdor iu the first degree, lucre
aiu't no jail in Gordon County, so
thoy let him go free till then."
I remembered tho storekeeper s
qaostion whether I was an ollicsr, and
knew that what Lease told me was true.
But will ho stay will ho bb here
then?" I stammered.
VXever knowed but ono to skip out
yet, and ho was a horso thief," said
Lease, going on witli bis supper.
rrom that time X felt a lively if
not altogether pleasaut interest in
Slmuk. He was the best
ranch hand I have ever seen.
There was no work nbont the plaoo that
he did not thoroughly understand, ond
as a horseman ho was unexcelled. I he
other cowboys treated him with the
respeot his skill commanded, and none
of them seemed to regard the fact that
he was to be hanged for murder as any
thing to his discredit.
1 guoss we d better put that Indian
on tlio nortu range, saia J-iease.
'That's tho worst herd on tho plaoo
up thero. They come near gettiu' away
from the boys twiuet already.
"All right," sanl 1. 1 confess that I
did not liko the idea of having a con
doinned murderer about tho home
range. It made me shuddar ovory timo
I saw Li iu.
Tho months pa3scd away, and
ceased to think of tho horriblo fate in
store for Shauk. I had other more
pleasant things of which to think. El
inor my Elinor hud answered one
of my rash lettors with delightful
frankness, saying that she would be
most happy to come and live with me
at the rauch or anywhere else, for
that matterand that life without mo
was not worth having. Sho would not
allow mo to come East tor her, she
said. As I had been eo uugallunt as
not to ask her to aocompauy me on my
first trip, she would oome to me, and
we would be married at Santa 1 e.
When I first reoeived that letter, I
was simply dazed. Then, as I realized
its full import, 1 threw np my hat and
shouted until tho cowboys thought 1
was crazy. And 1 must have been,
too, or I should never have allowed
her to come; but how oould I help it
wheu she wrote aa sho did? So it
happened thut on the 1st of August I
drove to Santa i a and thero mot Lit
nor at the depot. We were marriod
at once iu the parlor of an uptown
hotel, aud the next day we started in
a carriage for the rauch.
Tho niomory of that two days' drive
will never leave me. Tho first was
one of those rare oloudy days that do
sometimes uoaie in tho middlo of sum
mer, even iu tho New Mexico plains,
and we drove joyously along till
reaohod Jnniper Creek. Here
spent the night, nud Elinor seemed to
enjoy -her rough, strange surround
ings. Ou the seooud day the sun beat
down ou us unmercifully, but neither
of us uoticed it. As we rode along
tried to persuade Elinor to look out
upon tho desolate, prairies and ' to
oocuotom herself to their monotony
beforo she reached her new homo
1 pieturea thy rancli lionso as
the most wretched of habitations,
so that its small claim to comfort
might burprise her. 1 made dispar
aging remarks about ine country in
general, and beneath all mv jesting
seriousness was a lurking feeling of
having done wrong to allow thin deli
cato woman to come to such a desert.
But Elinor refused to be made mis
erable by my discouraging talk. Tho
prairies, she said, gave her a fecliu
of freedom which sho hud never before
felt. Tho heat waves rising from the
sun socrolied rrss made it look like a
groat yellow seu, of which sho could
never tire. Sho turned from it, and
with her grcut blue eyes looking iuto
mine, said she did not care where she
was so long as I wus beside her. lhon
of course my cousoieueo clesoitea me
as I clapped her iu my arms for the
twentieth time thut diiy.
After this we drove listlessly on un
til we croH-se l tho northern boundary
of tlio rauch. Then I shook hor pley-fully.
"Yon are now queen of all you sur
vey. Awake, aud behold a portion of
yonr dominion."
Who sat up with mock dignity and
sail, "It is beautiful. I am well
pleafed."
"How littlo satisfien tho contented
soul 1" said I, laughing.
"Little I" sho exclaimed. . "I havo
everything." Sho gave me another
look that made my head swim.
"What is that rumbling sound?"
Elinor asked dreamily, after wo hod
gono a little farther.
I halted tho team to listen. As I
did bo I felt my strength leave ai.
Only onco had I heard that sound, but
I know it now.
"What is it?" repoated Eiinor, see
ing my blanched face.
'The north herd has stampodod.
Perhaps they may take np tho gulch
oh, my Go.1 1"
As I spoko thero came over tho
knoll, and directly toward ns, tho
rushing, bellowing, irrosiatible mass
of maddened cattlu. To attempt flight
was useless. We could not mov6 far
onough over the rongh ground. We
could not Cic.po unless the cattle
could be diverted from the course
they were taking. i
1 reached quiokly over the dash
bonrd and cut tLo traces that fastened
the horses to the carriage. The poor
beasts stool still, trembling. They
know their danger. I lashed them
desperately with tho whip, and they
sprang away, terror ctricken, over tho
plains. The leaders in the center of
tho herd, seeing tho fleeing horses,
swerved aside to follow them, and tho
whole mass began to swing, as though
ou a pivot, toward tho right. I
gavo a gasp of relief; but in an
other instant I saw that tho herd
was too largo to make so short a turn.
Tho left edgo of tho great circle
reached far beyond us, and was bear
ing" down on us with awful speed. In
a moment or two it would pass over
us. There was no hope.
leokauicully I drew Elinor to me,
and she, sc.ircely realizing the danger,
nestled her hoal against my shoulder.
I know cow what the odd, haunting
misgiving had meant. It was a fore
boding, ft warning. I had disregarded
it, and lured my darling to a terrible
death. A few moments more and tho
cowboys following the herd would
pick np her mutilated body and carry
it to the homo she had never seen, and
in which wc had hoped to be so happy.
It was a graiu of consolation to think
that I should dio with her. I closed
my eyes, straining Elinor to my breast
while 1 awaited tne snook.
It seemed that wa had sot thus for
hours it could have been but a few
seconds in realty wheu 1 heard a cry
which, but for tuedesperato determin
ation that vibrated through it, would
have scarcely sounded human. 1
opened my eyes in time to see a man,
whom I recognized as the Indian
Shauk, foroo his mustang ngaiust the
loft edgo of tho advancing herd. A
ttcer ou tho outer ring swerved a lit
tlo to the right, and thrust his loug
horns into the flank of one of his
neighbors. Tho injured auiuial fell
upon his knees, and those immediately
following crowded iuto tho main herd
to avoid him.
Again aud nguin, with almost io
credible rapidity, was the littlo mas
tang forced against that moving mass
as it raced down tGe slopo, and each
time tho left portion of tho herd
swung a few feet to the right. Shank
was onlv following the cowboys
custom of making tho cattlo run in a
circle, but I knew from the desperate
energy with which ho labored that he
was now doing it to savo our lives
And I could only sit lyid watoh him as
foot by foot he crowed the galloping
beasts from tho course that would
bring them thundering over the oar
riage.
One final charge of ths mustang
when tho herd was but a few feet from
us, and then the brutes wont flying,
past. Half a dozen steers shot out
around onr left, but none collided
with tho carriage, and wo were un
harmed. 1 sat and wntohed tho cattle
disappear down the gulch, aud saw
Shauk stop his reekiug pony beside
the carriage. Then I knew no more.
When I bocomo conscious I was in
my room at the ranch house, and
Elinor was bonding over mo. .
"Oh.Frank," sho cried, "i am so glad
you are yourself onco morel" She
kissed mo again and again aud rested
her cheek against mine as if she oould
cover leave me. l'iually, howover,
she drew suddenly away and said,
"The man who saved our lives is out
side the door. I wouldn't let him go
away."
Sho led in Shauk, who received my
fervent thanks iu his usuul stolid
mauuer aud rofiijed to s.iy anything.
Neither would he accept any of the
littlo presents that Elinor, wbo knew
nothing of iiis history, tried to pross
upou him. What did a man who was
to bo hanged iu a few days waut with
trinkets? We wer- at a loss to find
auy euitible expression for our grati
tude, uutil, with the taut that always
distinguished her, Elinor discovered
his pruloau his saddle, and praised it
till the poor fellow actually allowed
his face to relax in n smile.
As soon a was able I made another
trip to Sauta Ee. I was determined
that Shauk should not bo hanged if I
could prevent it. I pleaded busiuess
to Elinor, and would not uilow her to
accompany me, for I did not wish her
to know the character of our rescurer.
Wheu I cum:) away from tho citj
threo days Inter I felt that I hud done
all that could be done. I bad pleadod
that he had saved two lives to atono
for tho one worthless ono ho hud
taken ; had consulted lawyers aud had
tried to raise a petition for his par
don. Einally I lieggod for u reprieve,
uud was toid that ono might be
grunted.
On the mornirg of tho ISth
ot August SuuuU nul I start
ed for tho county seat. Just
beforo leaving, ho boggd Elinor
1 to accept tho present of his taddlo.
"But havo you auothor one?" sho
asked in surprise.
"Not need ono any more," ho said
indifferently.
"It's all right, Elinor," said I hus
kily ; "ho can use one of mine." And
she, still looking pazzled, stood hold
iJg one of the hugo stirrups in her
hand as sho waved us farewell.
We arrived at our dostination about
four o'clock on tho next day, and my
heart sank ns I saw tho rude ssaffold
which had bean erooted near tho ono
street that tho town possessed. Still
there was time for a reprieve to reach
ns, and I did cot entirely lose hope.
Tho Indian, however, who knew noth
ing of my efforts iu his behalf, rodo
nuconcornodly to the littlo hotel, whore
the sheriff met us, aud where wO passed
the night.
At six o'clook in tho afternoon of the
20th no reprieve had been roooived,
aud Shauk mounted the scaffold. It
was surrounded by a crowd of curious
people, who had thronged about the
town all day, and were impatiout at
thuidelay.
bhauk showed not the slightest sign
of emotion. He merely waved mo a
farawoll from the platform, aud then
tho black cap wa? adjustoi, I turned
away, chokinj with sobs. The next
instant I heard a sickening jolt, and
know that tha man who had saved
Elinor and myselt to a life of happi
ness had ewunginto ctornity, Will X.
Whitlock, in Munsey.
Tlio Wizard Caught a Tarlor,
A fow years ago "Bill" Nyo and
Herrmann, the magician, met for tha
first timo iu a small Ohio town. They
stopped at the same hotel, and were
given scats at tho same table in tlio
dining room. They bowed politely
and began taking about the weather,
each believing that tho other did not
reoogniza his vis-a-viB. Just as Nye
raised bis knife and fork to cut a men
of lcttuco salad, Herrmann uttered a
cry of protest.
"Excuso me, sir, remarked tue
wizard, "but I thought I saw some
thing queer in your lettuoo." The
humorist carefully looked -over the
salad leaf by leaf, but found nothing,
and again raised his knife to out it.
Again ho was sjoppod by a Buarp
cry from Herrmann, who added apol
ogetically, "1 beg a thousand pardons,
but there is something there. Excuse
me," and he pointed to a largo lottuoe
leaf, raised it, and disclosed under
neath a magnilicient diamond cluster
ring. .
Nye slowly picked up the ring, and,
without tho slightest manifestation of
Burprise. drawled out: "This sort of
thing has gone just far enough. I'm
continually shedding diamonds wher
ever I eo. Day before yesterday I
lost a solitaire in a sugar bowl in
Pittsburg, and in Cleveland thiB morn
iuor the chambermaid, in sweeping my
room, found three or four more. It
is positively giving me brain-fag to
koep track of these thing3, and I'm
ffoius to cive it up ns a bad lou.
Beckoning to a waitress he slipped
neruimimu's ring into her hand aud
said, "Hero's a trifle for you. Koep
it to romomber me by ; it a yours.
It took tho owner of the ring nbont
half a day to recover it. ban Iran
cisco Argonaut.
Lpaniiiif, to Ride a Hi cycle.
A writer in tho English paper St.
Paul says : I can never understand
tho diflioultie3 some beginners meet
with. I know one lady who took four
weeks before she could "ride alone,"
without being held. The time should
bo about four hours. Of courso it
takes a couple or threo weeks' steady
work before any one oan rido really
well. In my opinion it is a greot
mistake to learn iu a riding school
The only way to ride well, with con
lidence, power, and ease, is to strug
gle alone, with an experienced friend
at baud to ten you wiiat to uo, ii is
useless to sit on a cycle and be pushed
along a flat road. Take your cyclo
iuto a field. If you aro a woman,
loavo your skirt at homo. There try
a mount. Go on trying until you suo
ceed. Never miud a fall, it will tench
you how to fall with Bafety when you
really moot with nn accident. Wnen
you can mount, rido ns far us you nr
able, rroooed uutil vou can turn
corners aud feci confldcnoo in your
machine. Then ask your friend to
mount his machine and ride toward
you so that you have to get out of hit
way. Threo days ot this work Jwill
turn you into a very fair cyclist ;
month will find you proficient,
I! are Coins and Laces.
London numismatists have beon
greatly interested recently in tho sale
at auction of tho romarkublo collection
of coins known asthe Montague colieo
tiou, iucluding the famous Juxon
modal, preseuted bv Charles I. to
Bisbop Juxon on tho scaffold just be
fore the former's execution. The bid
ding for this relio was of tho liveliest
description, and it was tiuully sold for
S3S5U, suid to bo tho highest price
ever paid for a coiu. Several other
realized S10JO to ilM0 eueh. Another
exampU of a hiuh price reuchod nt an
other London aur-tion was obtained a
few dayj ago, wheu an old Vunetiuu
roso-poiut lloiinco, uuder four yard
loug und fourteen luutios wide,
told for 51235.
A l.ong-licunti'd Turk.
Musa Kitssolua, a Koroshan Turk,
who was exhibited in tho largo cities
of Austria. Italy and Geruiuuy iu 18'Jj
and who is uo.v in ikini a tour of tho
cities of Western Europe, is a human
freak, wonderful outy on aeoouut ct
tho enormous lungtu of his beard. 1
1803 tho beard of this follower of tho
Prophet was only four feet uud fou
inches iu length ; tf day it is niuo feet
aud eight inches in length. Only ouo
other huuiuu beurd is mentioued by
the authorities us being louger thut
of Adam Kirpen, an old German, who
lived in Chicago in 1882, aud who had
over twelve feet of beurd.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
STORIKS THAT ARB TOLD BT THE
FUNNT MEN OB" THE PBESS.
lie's the Winner The Coming Stig
mata No liet Had Lost Ills
Hoekonlim, Ktc, Etc.
"Jinn wants but little hire below,"
And the dn.ilnr who is wls.
If ho would sT.ind the Mlehtost show
And sell that "littlo," must have tho "go'
And freely advertise.
L. A. W. Bulletin.
THE COMIKfl.
"Nina's Count has arrived from Eu
rope, I hear. How did lie come.'
"C. O. D., they say." Life.
NKCESSAIULY At'DinM!.
"What a loud drets Mrs. Jaysmith
has on I"
"Yes; it is ornamentod with accor
dion trimming." Judge.
RTKIMATA.
"I am surprised that Jones should
turn out to be so incorrigiblo n linr."
'Tin not. What else could you ex
pect from a man with hook nose aud
fishy eyes." Cinoiunati Enquirer.
COMFORT.
"Ho has broken mv heart," wailed
the beautiful girl.
"There, there, don t take on so,
said her friend in tones of pity ; "it
might have been your bicycle.'"
ludge.
NOT FIXED.
'Yes, he's a very able man, but
jomchow he doesn't seem t.i succeed."
'Perhaps for tho reason you men
tion."
"What?"
"Vuriable."
IIAD I.OST niS RP.f'KOVIS'd.
She "I nm quito suro you had too
much chnmpngue wheu you ealiod ou
me yesterday afternoon.
lie "ies; 1 tUougut l il just loot;
round to-dny to see if 1 was engaged
to you." Pick-Mo-Up.
NO I1BT.
"Is it true, Votey. that Scraggs of
fered to bet you his head against a
football that ho would run ahead of
you for clefli?"
"Yes, and 1 told mm that ne warn
ed too much odds.' Detroit Ireo
Press,
r.OT AFKATP.
Dick Ilicks (watching tho orchestra)
"Those musicians don't care any
thing about the direct ,.r."
Mrs. llicka "liow do you Know.'
Dick Hicks "The inoro he shakes
thot stick nt 'em tho harder they fid
dle." Pock.
HARD I.INi:S.
Marlowe "Scientists say that they
sau trace man back through successive
periods into thu gaseous slate."
Maria "Pooh ! That's not very dif
ficult, seoing that thero are no end of
men who never really got any furth
er." New York Journal.
IN IiF.1T WATIin.
Bixby (very near sighted) "Who's
that dumpr friuht coming up the road
on the wheel ?" .
Stinchcomb "That's my wife."
Bixby "N-no, 1 don't mean that
ono. I mean tho grand guy witn mq
bologna bloomers."
Stinchcomb "That's your wife."
Tit-Bits.
amerk'an union.
Foreigner "What aro they phasing
ihot innocent looking couple out ol
that house for? See, they ure throw
ing things af them I There, a boot
has just caught him under tho ear!
What does it mean?"
Citizen "Why, that's just a bridal
party Blurting on their wedding jour
ney." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A CONSIPHItATE YOI'NGSTEH.
Amiablo Mother "Hero, Tommy,
is some nice castor oil with oraugo iu
it."
Doctor (playfully) "Now remem
ber, dou't give it all to Tommy ; leave
some for me."
Tommy (who has had Bonio before)
"Doctor's a uioo mau, urn; givo it
all to tho doctor." Household Words,
the res amy oi' vri.ri Am rY.
"Aw old fellah," said Cholly, as ho
found hunt-elf fueu to fueo with Willie
boy, "Aw ! I say I 1 hear you 'ave die
charged your man, you know!"
"Yaasi said Willieboy, I had to do
it, don't you know. Ho quito dis
gwaeed me. Ynus. DUxwuccd me,
you kuow. Just lawney I Ho lot mo go
out tho othuh ni'ht with a wed flower
in my button hole. Yaas. J ut fawiiny !
A wod flower, aud I wus feeling quito
bluo thut night, you know. So I dis
ehawgod Lim. Beeuu-.e wed aud bluo
dou't huwmouize, you kuow. I had to
discbawgo the creature ; ho had tueh
howid tatte dou't you know."
Browniug'd Monthly.
OTITIS FXl-l.b ir ENOI'llII.
Mrs. Jones wa absent and hud left
tho youngest soiou of tho house of
Jones iu tho cure of her dear friend,
Mrs. Browu. It was evening and Fred
die wus put to bed, when tho follow
ing couverMitiou took pluce :
Mis. Brown "Freddie, kneel down
now nud suy your piuvnrs."
Freddie "Yethuui," (Kneels und
babbles his pruycrs, concluding with)
"God bless pupa aud mamma and all
dear friends. Amen."
Mrs. Drown "Why, Freddie, you
have left mo out of your prayer. Lust
night you asked God to bless your
dear Mrs. Brown. Huvo you uo word
for mo to night?"
Freddie "Oh, I'm too tired. But
that'll bo all right. You como uuder
tho head of 'dear friends.' " Judge.
UP-TO-DATE A ADVERTISING.
Oh, advertising is tho thlnn
For garnering the nlckles!
Tho maa who makes the welkin ring
; Is the one who gts the shckles.
The snndwlch man Is out of data
As a walking business winner.
To eutnh the eyo we must, of Into,
Display a full course dinnor.
The fncts about our goods and shop
Wo've got to widely soattor
If we would ptay up nt the top
And next to reading mattor.
L. A. W. Bulletin.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Tom "I don't know whether sin
sings or not." Jack "Sho doesn't;
I heard her." London Tick-Me-Up
When a man loses his balance, i
makes a great difference whether il
was iu a. bank or on a bicycle. L, A
W. Bulletin.
Mamma ".Mrs. Brown says hei
littlo boy looks very much like ours.'
Papa "Then ours muBt bo bettei
looking." Puck.
Mario "Just think of the nerve ol
the follow to propose to me." Mertii
"Nerve? Why, it was absolute
recklessness. " Truth.
Her hat was lare, but joyous truth!
Rovenife was waiting there.
B fforo her sut n football youth
With a head of flaunting hair
Washington Star.
Isabol "They say it is dreadful the
way Clara runs after Willoughbj
Kiche." Dorothy "I guess she will
catch him. Poor fellow has only one
log." Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Grumpey "Why don't wives
rise up nud make thoir husbands
stand around?'! Grumpey "Besause
men no for propose to that kind ot
women," Detroit Freo Press.
The Wife "If I die and you marry
again, John, I'll oomo back and hannt
you." The Husband "Well, it would
seem kind of natural to havo you
come back and call me a fool."
Truth.
Little Elmer "Pa, why is it that
bachelors are bo much more orabbed
and cross than married man?" Mr.
Hennypeok "Because they are not
afraid to say what they think, my
son." Puok.
"What are yonr hopes for the
future?" asked the solemn man. "I
have none just now," replied tho
youth. "To-morrow is my best girl's
birthday, and I'm worrying about tho'
present." Illustrated Bits.
She "Dear mel Why don't they
teach choruses to sing intelligibly? It
is so aggravating to be unable to dis
tinguish the words." Jaok "You
don't know your luck. 1 have read
the libretto." Indianapolis Journal.
Smith "I road so many oases ot
people boing buried alive. Is there
no remedy for it?" Jones 'The
only remedy I know is for tho Legis
lature to puss a law compelling doo
tors to lluish thoir work properly."
Boston Transcript.
"So you aro going to marry your
employer's daughter?" "Betchorlife.
Tho old muu has worked mo eight
hours a day for tho past ton years,
and now I'm going to work him twenty-four
hours a day for tho next
twonty years to get even." Life.
Bookkeeper --"Tho man who bought
that huudrod-dollar set of- furniture
and paid J20 on it has skipped." Pro
prietor "Tho rascal ! I'll hunt him
down if it takes all tho detectives in
the oity. That oet of furniture cost
mo fill hard cash." New York
Weekly.
B:st Cycling Track lu F.tirope.
Mosoow bus the best bicycle track
in Europe. It is one of the most
modern things about the old Russian
capital aud is situated on tho plains of
Kodinsky, whero tho reject catas
trophe ocenrrod. Tho track is 000
motors, less than three laps to the
mile, nil of cement, with steep banking
nt the curves, and bus a system of
ideotrio timing whioh works very suc
cessfully. Thero aro mora than 1000
cyclists in tho city and ten large clubs.--The
development if cycling in .Russia
is wot iler fill, considering that the
roads are rutty nud stony for the
most part nud frequently oovered
with a miserable pavement. But then
no pen cau describe nor imagination
couaeivo the eunui of the middle
classes in llusiiia, so that anything to
relieve this killing boredom of every
day existence is gladly welcomed.
BiMiiunk nud the Beetle.
A few years ag) a statosuiau of Eu
ropean fuuio visited Bismarck at Fred
rieksruh and the two wulked together
through the bitter's plantation ot ex
otic pinos and lirs, of which both were
collectors. The visitor improved a
lupso in tho conversation about coni
fers to bring up the thou recent topia
of Boulunger. "Did Germany at
the timo really take him serious'y ?" he
asked. "And what did you yourself
think of the man?" Tho ex-Chanoel-lor,
in all candor, replied that ho know
very littlo of tho subject. "It is true
that I was iu ollieo at the time," he
sai l, "but just thon there was a kind
of beetlo which got in among those
lirs of mine, aud was cctiug out the
central shoots, aud really that worried
me bo that I scarcely paid any atten
tion at all to what Boulauger was do
j iug." Iiondou Saturday Review.
I Leave Tldekeu Near the Spa.
I Plants growing near the sei- havo
thicker leaves thuu thoie growiug iu
lai.d. Apparently thu ei bull is tho
cause of this phenomenon, as plunts
cultivated iu tirtitioully salted soil
' yield thicket leaves. Pittsburg Di'l
puteh. IVora In TI'i iv K iiglouis.
Tho Duke of Alu reoru is the only
per with tho excepliou of Lord Voru
lam, who enjoys tlio distinct peerage
iu tho three kij.-lJoms-