Tiie Forest Republican
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J. E. WENK.
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HOR
VOL. XXIX. NO. 36. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 23, 189G. S1.00 PER ANNUM.
Statisticians agree that I ho popula.
tion of tho world averages 109 women
to cvorv man.
Millions of mon in India live, marry
' itml ronr apparently harpy children
upon an iucctno which, oven when tho
wifo works, is raroly above fifty cents
a week.
Acoording to the Florida Times-
Union, another branch ot industry is
bowailiug ita ruin by the rapid increase
in the use of tho bicycle. That is tho
walking-stick trado. Wo may next
expeot to hear similar complaints from
tho manufacturers of crutches and
wooden logs.
A Chicago clerk recently throw a
book ngont forcibly out of bis office,
after refusing to take tho man's card in
to bis employer, and was justified by
the judge bofore whom he was tried for
BBRftult, who established as Chicago
law the theory that such foraiblo
inoaeurcs in donling with book agents
were justifiable.
Hero is a great truth poetically ex
pressed in rrofltabla Advertising:
Tho wbools of truo love novor ran
Along a roughor course
Than does tho business ot the man
Who would succeed perforce,
Aud novor to his aid docs call
That moat successful plun
Of advertising spring aud fall
Aud ever when bo can.
Says llurpcr's Weekly: Pursuant
to a resolution of tho last Congress,
tho rhilndclpbia mint is to begin to
niako experiments with now motnls
and combinations of motuls to deter
mine whethor any improvement can
bo mndo in our proscnt copper and
niokol coinage. It may givo ns alu
tninum cents in plaoo of tho copper
pieocs now in use, and possibly a new
spooieH of flvo-ccnt pieces, made en
tirely of nickel, or perhaps half of
niokol and half of copper. There is so
slight a suggestion of copper in the
prcsont five-cent piece that it is a sur
prise to read that scventy-iivo per
cent, of it is copper and only twonty-
Cvo per oont. nickel. Tho present
cent contains ninety-five per cent, of
copper, two per oont of tin, and throe
per oont. of zinc Tho objoetion is
is mado to it that it is hard to distin
guish by fooling between a cent and a
silver ten-cent picco.
There are many new things in the
bicycle line oflerod for 1897. Every
up-to-date mannfaotnror will intro
duce new attachments end alleged im
provements in tho details of his ma
chine, whilo tho fronk inventor has
boeu more than busy with his strange
' nud wondrous devices. In the great
mass of inventions there aro some fow
things of real value. Tho construction
of bicyoles to order is yet in its in-
fauoy, but it is .a growing industry.
and thousands of. devices which will
never become general will be utilizod
by individuals. The most radical de
parture in 1897 will be an increase in
the dimensions of pneumatic tires.
Tho aversgo tires are now from one
and a half to one and three-quarters
inches wide. Tires in 1397 will reach
. a width of two and a half inches.
Wheels thus equipped will look awk
ward at first, but the safety itself was
uugaiuly in its day, when contrasted
with tho high wheel. The wide tire
is surer than thoso now in use. It re
duces tho likelihood of side slips on
damp roads, which is really the cause
of four out of five oyeliDg aosidont.
A bombshell has bocn thrown into
European politics in tho form of a
statement in 'Frinco Bismarck's of
ficial paper, the Hamburger Nachrioli-
ten, to the cllect that within I yoai
aftor the organization of the Triple
. Alliauce ho arranged a secret treaty
with Russia by which Gormauy was to
hold aloof if Russia was attacked by
Austria, and Russia was to hold aloof
if Germany was ottackod by France.
Tho abrogation of tho treaty was coin
cident withTriuce Bismarck's sudden
retirement from office, and Connt
Oaprivi, who succeeded him, refused
to iudorso it. Alexander III, iudig-
uuut over this, iinnie liatoly turned to
France, and tho result was the prosent
Franco-Russian alliauce. Those gen
eral facts aro not new, at least to the
diplomatio liodios, but the publishing
of them just now has created a groat
deal of stir. How serious a stir u
evident from tho fact that immediately
there wa? talk of bringing tho news
paper to trial for publishing Statu
secrets. Tho Nachricbten retorted
that if they pushed too hard it would
toll all that it knew, cHpccially in con
neetiou with tho Frincu's degradation
from office. Tho talk of triul ceased
immediately, and Emperor William
thmi-jht best to writo a personal letter
to Emperor Francis Joeseph in regard
to tho matter, assuring him of Ger
many's loyalty to Austria, and Count
Herbert Bismarck made haste to de
rltiro that the matter appeared without
Lis knowledge or consent.
llurk! upon the calm, Siill, midnight
Ootnes the sound of pealing bolls!
Far nwny their echo sounding,
O'or tho hills, aud o'or the dolls.
Over all, heaven's canopy
Htars thnt shine with brilliant light)
Underneath tho snowy hlllsldo.,
Glistening through tho stnrrv night.
TIME! TIM I
It's time to lo morry
To cross o'er the ferry,
The troublesome forry of Care;
For voices are singing,
Aud joy-bells nro ringing,
And there's love and thero'j peace lu the atr!
It's time for forgetting
Tho grlofs that wore fretting.
To slip from the sorrow and sigh;
To rend the old story
Aud boo the old glory
Of the Mtar In the Dulhlohem sky
It's tlmo for good feeling
Love's swootest revealing!
Tho world ro'.U lu muslo along;
Aud souls thoy aro whiter,
And burdens are lighter,
Aud life has tho Hit of a song!
F. L. Blanton.
PATIENCE'S CHRISTMAS.
EAR me I" chirped
Miss Patience Cum
tn i n g b, VI can't
seem to sense n
6-VI vJ that u'
Mt"A frp" Christina
MmssMA wonid it
s so near
mas.
I guessyon
you had as
as 1
-MJ "apped
tA r. tj.- -Vr ..ft.-.!,,.!.-. .
her
BiStcr-in-law. "But
some folks can
always take thinks
c - ' . .. ...
"I don t think you need talk like.
that, Susan." returned Patience. "Fin
always willin' to help, au' 1 calculate
to pay my way."
"llumphl" retorted Susan, with an
nggrossivo sniff. "What do old maids
know bout the oarcs of housekoepin ,
I liko to know."
"Now, Susan," se,id Patience, the
color ritiiug in her delicate face, "if
you say so I'll go right out in the
kitchen this miuute uu take now oi
the bakin'."
"Well, I sbonld think you'd know
that I'd rather you'd keep at work on
that st of Jim's. There ho is weann'
hi last pr.ir of pants an' I expect any
minute when ho'll come through tho
knees, to suy nothing oMho seat," re
turned Suean in aggrieved tones. "I
never did tee such a young one's ho is
for wcariug out clothes," she continued
-complacently, her voic,o softening, for
little Jim was hor one wholeness.
Tho elder woman sighed as she bent
over lier work.
"Pationce," she said to hoTself,
"seems though they must know I'd
need a lot or theywouldn't given me
that name."
Susan in the meantime had gone out
into the kitchen and was stirring
round in a lively manner among the
cooking utensils. "Makin' things
bum," as her more easy going husband
was wont to remark.
Presently Fatieuoo became aware,
from the cessation of domestic clatter,
sun nnorain is a Disn or api-lesj.
aud tho sound of voices in animated
convcrMttion that Susan had a visitor.
After awhile tho caller departed and
Sushu cttue into the sitting room in a
ttute ot repressed excitement.
"l)on.'t you think May Barrow's
beou here?" sho exeluimo.l.
"I want to kuow," said Putience, in
pleased surprise. "I'd like to have
seen May invsolf. Why didu't you
briug hor in here?"
"Well, 1 calculated to," said Susan,
looking a little coufusoJ, "but we got
to tulkiu', an' all at ouoe May said sho
must co, au' told me to give her love
to you.
"Much obliged," returned Patience,
politely.
m
mm
Not a sound to break the stillness,
Reigning throughout the earth,
Bavo those bolls, so sweetly telling,
Of the Saviour's lowly birth.
Bwootly ringing, sweetly ringing,
Do they tell the story old,
Which through all the ootnlng ages,
Buall forevor more be told.
"I'vo got news for yon," ventured
Susan, eyeing her doubtfully. "Who
do you suppose is goin' to got mar
ried?'
"I'm sure I dunno," replied Pa
tionce, absently. . She was fooling dis
appointed at not seeing May.
"Woll, it's Squire Willard, an' he's
goin' to marry a widder woman from
Linebrook, with two grownup daugh
ters. What do you think of that?"
"I s'pose bo's got a right to," said
Patience defiantly, bnt hor fingers wore
trembling and bo bent hor head still
lower over her work.
Poor Miss Pationco. She had secret
ly admired Nat Willard all her life.
As a handsome young man he had
"kept company" with pretty Pattio
Cutnmings, but when ho had married
his cousin, the old 'squire's ward, Pat
tie had tried to put all thought ot
him out of her heiyt. lint no other
of her numerous beaux had fouud
favor in her eipbt.
Now, Nat, who had suooeoded to his
father's title, had been a widower for
several years, and if his renewed at
tentions to his old sweetheart had
"WHY. PATTIE !"
caused bet to build somo delightful
airoastles, who can wonder or blame
her, even if she had passed her thirty
sixth birthday and was "old enough
to know better."
So it is not surprising that Miss
Putience worked buttonholes and
fellod seams on little Jim's new suit
with a heavy heart for the remainder
of the day.
Christmas Day passed uneventfully.
There was the usual turkey and plum
pudding, and little else to remind one
that it was a holiday. The members
of the family were reserving them
selves for evening, when they were
goiug to Linebrook to attend a Christ
mas festival held in the church, the
prtnoipal feature of which was a
Christmas tree.
Patience bad nover eoen one and
would have enjoyed going, bnt there
wasn't room for her in the sleigh, and
besides it never seemed to oocnr to
her brother or his wife that the "old
maid" could be interested in any sort
of amusement.
"Now, Patience Cnramings, there s
no mopin lowed, sue soiuoquizea,
trying to dispel the forlorn fooling
that came over tier as sno came noou
into the big empty sitting room aftor
seeing the family oil.
"You're jest goin' to fetoh some
oider'n apples, au' pop some corn an'
have a real rod J time."
Acting ou this resolution, she
brought in from the pantry a dish of
rosy cheoked apples and ears of yellow
oorn. She was just seating herself to
shell the corn when she started np
with a smile on her face.
"Why shouldn't I?" sho exolaimed;
Christmas don't oomo uouo too
olten I"
Lighting a uaudle she wont up to
her little room under the eaves. Sho
put the linl't down ou n old fush-
ionod mahegauy bureau, uud, opening
her closet door, took down her two
and only highly prized silk gowns.
One, a delicate dove color, had boon
her mother's aeddtng gown, and with
slight alterations from time to time
had served Patience on thoso rare oo
ouiions when something extraordinary
in the way of dress was required.
Tho other was a steady-going bluok
bilk.
She regarded them lovingly, but
critically withal.
Boflly ringing, they are spoaking
Of tho dear ones passed away,
Of the lives, whioh out of darknoss,
Now have entered perfcot day.
Of tho bands so meekly folded,
Llfo'a long toll forever done;
Of tho orossos, bravoly carried,
Of the crowns of glory won.
" 'Twonld bo more sensible to put
on tho black," she argned, smoothing
the rnohings in neck and sleeves.
"But tho other's more dressy an'
I've a good mind to wear it. No
knowin' when I'll get another chance.
I b'lieve I will."
And she resolutely replaced the
black dress on its pegs, and hastily
for the room was cold arrayed her
self in the more pretentious garb of
former days.
That done she arranged her still
abundant fair hair high np on hor
head, and pnt in a high topped shell
comb also her mother's ond regard
ed herself approvingly in the small
looking glass.
"Patience Cummings," said she,
"you're a very frivolous woman, but
it's only for this once, you under
stand." And lifting her trail with ono
hand sho took tho candlo in tho other
and doscended to tho sitting room.
"Oughter have some flowers, I ex
pect," said the, recklessly breaking off
two of the finost blossoms from her
favorite pink rose bnsh in the window.
Ono at her throat, the other in her
CRIED THE SQUIItE.
hair. "Now I look something like,"
said she.
At that momont there oamo a loud
knock at the door.
Sho started p-uiltilv. "Who under
the canopy can it be !" she ejaculated.
"An' what will they thtnk ot me!
She spied Susan s waterproof bang
ing over a chair, and enveloping her
self in its ample folds she opened the
door a very little and looked cautious
ly out.
"Don t to afraid, juissratience ; u s
only me," said a hearty voioe.
"Oh, how do you do, bquire Wil
lard? Yoa gave me an awful soare.
Won't you come in?" she exolaimed,
openiug tho door wide.
"Well. I gness l win, f coin mat s
what I come over for," responded the
visitor, reaching out a hand in friend
ly greeting.
Patience couiau t extcna ners very
far on aooount of that o'd waterproof,
but did the best sho could under tho
oiroumstanoes.
"The folks have all gone away," she
informed him, rather stillly. She
wasn't at all sure that she didn't wish
her visitor away, too.
"Yes, I saw 'em go by," said tho
squire, who had been divesting him
self of his overcoat, "an' I noticed you
wasn't along, so I thought I'd oomo
over. But maybe you were going out"
he added, regarding her with an ex
pression of perplexity on his geuial
face.
He recollected with some embarrass
ment that she hadn't asked him to take
off his overcoat or sit down and
LITTLE TOMMY AND THE
Before dinner.
Gayly ringing, they are speaking
Oitho many Joys to come:
Ot the happy laugh of children.
Of the lovo and poaco of homo.
Ilnrk! tho angols sing the enrol,
Which they sang to shepherds then:
Glory be to God In heaven,
And on earth, good will to men!
somehow she didn't look very cordia
standing there in that long black thing
hanging around her.
I don t wanter hindor yon," no
continned.
"I wasn't thinkin' of goin out," re
plied Pationce, and then she laughed.
"JNow, what b tne joko, asueu me
squire, looking somewhat relieved at
this sudden change in demeanor on
her part.
"I guess I cion t seem over n aoove
polite," said Patience npologotioally,
"bnt I couldn't koep from laughing to
think of goin' out in this rig," and she
threw oil the cloak ana stood smiling
and blushing before the squire.
"Why, Fattier' cried the squire,
using tho old familiar name uncon
sciously, "yon look pretty s a pio
turo." I guess you'll thiuk Fm a fool,"
said sho. -
"I guess hot," he returned, "acorns
to mo I've soon you wear that dress
before."
"I didn't s'pose yon'd remember,"
murmured she.
"Don't seem's though 'twas more'n
a week since you wore it to that party
over to our house," he continued in a
reminiscent tone.
"Don't it?" she rotnrnod faintly,
her eyes downcast. .
"Pattie." said he, regarding her ten
derly. "I mado a mistake a great
many years ago we won't talk abont
that, though. Bnt l nlwoys inougui a
siuht of yon. an' I'vo been thinkin'
cousidorablo 'bout old times lately
an wonderin' if you didn't that is if
you wouldu t give me anotner cnanco.
Would she I Did sho understand 1
It alt seemed like a dream.
"1 want you for my wife, Pattio,"
said ho softly.
"Oh, Squire Willard, do you really
mean it?" she exclaimed tremulously.
"Mean it! Why, Pattio?" said tho
squire reproachfully.
And his arguments in the aflirma
tive were so very conclusive and con
vinolng that Patienco felt her doubts
gradually melt away and speedily bo
lieved herself to be the happiest woman
in tho world.
In foot thoy both sailed np into the
seventh hoaveu of bliss, wnere they
doubtless would have remained indti
nitely but for Patience's unfortuuato
memoiy. She suddonly withdrew from
her lover s encircling arms.
' "Squire Willard," said she, serious
ly. "1 just forgot myself.
.. "That's all right ; I hope you'll for
get-, yourself again," returned ho.
"Yon'd bettor forget to call me squire,
too."
"I ain't jokin'," said Patienoe, with
dignity, "an' I think I oughter know
'bout that widder woman you re goin'
to marry."
"Widder woman!" criod the squire
in astonishment. "I aiu t goin to
marry any widder, unless you're one."
"Don't you go rognlar to Linobrook
to seo a widder with two grown-up
daughters," demanded Patiouoe.
"Yes, I do," answered the squire,
his eyes twinkling, "but I dunno's I'm
'bliged to marry her 'f I do."
"No. I s'poso you can go around
breakin' women's hearts," roturnod
Patience, her voice trembling. Sho
felt that her idol was shattered aud
her short-lived happiness at an ond.
"Now, Pattie," said tho squire, re
pressing an evident inclination to
luugh, "I ehonldn't thought you'd be
lieved any such yarn. I s'poseJ that
you know that X wont over to Line
brook to seo Sister Ellen. Sho lost
her husband six months ago aud sho'n
hor girls have come there to live."
"Woll, if that don't beat all. I
dunno's you'll ever forgive me,"
falterod Pationo9.
"Well, Fll try,"rotumedhe;s'poEon
I begin now."
The squire nover did anything by
halves, aud certainly the happy
ponitent could not complain that he
was not very thorough in this matter
of granting absolution.
lie made one demand, however,
which was not refusod, and ou New
Ytur's Day tho wedding bells rang
merrily for the squire and hisbrido.
"Well, I'll be switched," exolaimed
Sister-in-law Susau, "if Patienco ain't
a sly ono I"
CHRISTMAS ITDOI.NU.
After dinner.
WHEN TIIE STAtt SIIOAE.
'Twos the Signal for Dethlehem'a
First Christmas.
Two thousand years ago, less four,
witnessod one of tho most remarkable
epochs ever kuowu to secular history,
and tho most remark able period of
which spiritual man has over con
ceived, From tho secular standpoint
these are the conditions : The mighty
empire of Rome, which bad as its cen
ter tho single city standing on the
Tiber, had planned for years tho con-
qnost of tho earth, and of this time
had so far succeeded that she Eat
among her seven hills practically mis
tress of tho world. Tho adventurous
Julius Ca-sar had lived his day and
passed away, and in his placo sat Au
gustus, patron of tho arts, and gifted
with an executive capacity woll Buitod
to control the empire which had been
created. From Rome, as a voritnblo
hub, spokes of granite roa 1b, built to
convey armies, radiated to quell any
insurrection that niipht threaten tho
welfare of the imperial domain.
Each department of the Uovernmont
was organized ami directed by tne
Emperor himself, and thin is import
ant becauso it was by the docree of
Augustus himself that the prophet's
words wero verified aud the Christ
born in tho town of David. Tho cir
cumstances woro these ; By au official
order a census of the torritory of Pal
estine was called for, and to that end
from every part of the province the
inhabitants betook themselves, accord
ing to tho Jewish custom, to the town
from which they claimed their origin.
rrom Nazareth in tho north to
Bethlehem in the south was a long
journey, eighty miios over wintry
roads and up and down tho hills of
tho rolling country. But Joseph, who
was as good a subject as ho was a He
brew, oboyed tho commaud and start
ed for tho city of David at tho bid
ding. Tho first stop was probably at
the houso of Chimham at Beoroth,
whioh is fifteen miles from Nazareth,
where, 1000 years boforo, Ruth gleaned
for Booz and whore Jesse and David
had restod. The remainder of the
journey was made by easy stages, the
humble couple stopping to rost at
such quarters as their means could
afford.
They arrived in Bethlohom in the
aftcrnoou aud found tho little city
crowded with, a host of peoplo bound
on a mission similar to their own.
Eory caravansary was filled. The
very streots wero tlirouged with poo
ple seeking accommodation, and after
repeated efforts to obtain quarters in
the city proper, which numbered at
that time only about 3000 inhabitants,
and was, therefore, unprepared
for any omergenoy of this sort, tho
footsore wanderers struck out into tho
country. After traveling about a mile
they found the little Uhan, whioh is
now known ns tho "Chapel -of tho
Nativity," and whore a silver star sot
iu" white metal, with sixteen ever
burning lamps, commomorates the
mightiost fuot in tho story of the
human raco. Tho motto tvhich those
lamps illuminate reads: "II io do vir
giuo Maria Jesus Christus natus ost."
The little inn which was thus des
tined to bo famous over the round
world was set in a hollow over which
waved tho branches of an olive grove.
It was built oround a court whoso
open sides, out in tho limestone rook,
were designed for tho stabling of
horses and cattlo which belonged to
the guests who patronized the estab
lishment. Tho rooms in that tavorn
were all bespoken, and the solo placo
of eholter left to tho travelers was ono
of these cell-like apartments, iu whioh
thero was noither couob, table nor
chair.
It was understood that any guests
who would accept theso lowly quarters
should provide their own bit of corpot
as a protection against tho damp and
would bo content and eatisned witn
tho bundle of straw which served as a
bod. Thoso wero tho surroundings of
the Virgin Mother on the niht of the
advent of tho Son of God.
Sautii Clauti Sees Something Wrong.
ii -J.
Sunta Glaus "There's something
wrong here. A boy with ouo leg cut
off by a thrashing machine, and two
btuokiugs hanging up."
SEASOSAUI.E JIXdLES.
A Youngster's Theory.
Thoy wou't lot little fellers votoj
The rousou is boeuuso
They'd never have a President
Lxci'ptlug Sauia Claus.
Washington Star.
Hobble's Trap,
B nall liobUo was a greedy boy,
Si o 'ufiith tho mantle shelf
lie pi -ed au Iron trap to eutch
Old S:Ultu C'lau j hiuisoll'.
And when next morning e:une, the boy,
So griK-dy and so bad,
Was very inueh surprised to get
A Kpunkiiif; Iron: liis dad.
A Clii-Utuius I'.iet.
The future uai a golden tinge,
Tuo pu-t, too, may seem plensaut;
But ju.-l about tho IMiriMmtis tide
There's nothing liko tho proaout.
I he Mistletoe.
It Is a plant both strai g i m 1 good
Aud men obserto wun r ni.ler,
That where it most is u ner-itojd
'lis very UiUeU aluiduudor.
V''
THE AWAKEN INO.
A sun-shaft fllos from tho Day's bent bow
And stirs tho motes In the morning air,
It sots tho heel of the Night aglow,
And gilds tho gloss
Of tho looks that toss
Ovor tho pillow, white and fair.
A burst of day with a touch of night,
For out of the blue of the counterpane,
Hor eyes, like morning stars, burn bright
A baby cry
A gentle sigh
Tho soul of my day is alive again.
John Albert Mosy
HUMOR OF TIIE DAT,
Nothing is mora discouraging than
unpprociatod sarcasm. I 'fo.
Teacher "Now, Tommy, tell me
what ruminating animals are?" Tom
my "Them what chows thoir cubs."
Judgo.
Lcldtim Fedd (at the door) "Kin I
seo do lady of do honse?'' Hennypeok
(whoso wife is out wheeling) "I am
he." Puck.
"Mr. Dufflngton hasn't any sooiety
manners whatever." "Is ho awk
ward?" "No, but ho doesn't like tea."
Chicago Record.
"Mr. DumngtOu hasn't any sooiety
manners whatever." "Is ho awk
ward?" "No, but ho doesn't like toa."
Chicago Record.
Anarchist "The land should be as
free as the water." Goldby "Per
haps; but would you use it any more
than you do tho water?" Truth.
"I didn't realize how short he woi
until I hoard what Miss Pinkerley
said about him." "What was that?"
"She said he was every inoh a gentle
mm." Puck.
"It is, indeed, hard," said the mel
ancholy gentleman, "to loso one's
relatives." "Hard?" snorted tho gen
tleman of wealth. "Hard? It is im
possible." Cincinnati Euquirer.
"Willio, what was Jtho preacher's
text?" "Somelhin about bavin' faith
like a grain of some kind of seod, an'
eayin' to tho mountain 'git a move on
your an it 11 git. umcago inuuno.
two souls with but a single thought,
(Twero hotter had they nono)
For tho thought thoy hud was the old, old
thought,
That two ciiu live as ohoap as ono.
Dotroit Free Press. .
He "Woll,. did you hoar anything '
ibout that Jones-Brown affair?" Sho
"Oh, yoe I I can't begin to tell you
ll I heard." He "I suppose thot
means you won't bo able to stop." -Puck.
Artist "I flatter mysolf this lost
pioture of mine is an exoollont one."
Another Artist "My dear follow, you
don't flatter yourself half as mnoh as
you flatter tho picture " Roxbury
Gazette.
Buuson (amazed) "That "your un
cle ! Why, man, you told mo your
uncle had both his legs carried away
atSoJau." Jimson "So he did. Ho
carried thorn away himself, protty
fast, I toll you !" Tit-Bits.
"What a liar Featheihorn is!"
"Eh?" "Now that overybody is go
lug about Baying 'I told you bo,'
Featherhorn is protending that he
never hod any idoa how the eioctiou
would go." Indianapolis Journal.
"But what real objootions oan you
havo to women riding the wheel, Mr.
Growoll?" "To tell the truth, 1 don't
miud admitting that I object to it
mostly beoause so many of them ride
bettor than the mon. "Cincinnati En
quirer. "And you, my frioud," shouted the
street corner orator, "are you a sup
porter of our Amerioau institutions?"
"Mo?" answered Weary Watkins.
"Lord bloss yon, mistor, no. The
institutions support mo." Indianapo
lis Journal.
Littlo Ethel "I wouder why men
like to talk about thoir old school
days?" Littlo Johnny "I s'pose
after they got growe-I up they is al
ways tryin' to flul out where the
toaoher lives, so they can lick him."
Comio Cuts.
Our EunrmoiH Mustard ''top.
This couutry is now growing a
larger part of the mustard put np in
England as well as in this country, "
Buid a commercial man, "aud Cali
fornia is raising the larger part of it
The mustard seed has just been har
vested in California and probably will
run up to Ki.OOO.OOj pouuds, or I,
000,000 pouuds more than the' croc
of lS'Jo. Tho seed is kept six monthi
before boing gronnd. The browc
seed has tho best flavor and greatest
pungouey, whilo tho yellow produoei
tho most oil. The English mustard
packers have made the yellow th
most fashionable, howevor, and as t
result there are teu pounds of yellow
produced for every pound of th
browu, though tho browu is btrougei
nd better iu every roHpeot. Prob
ably one-half of the English mustard
that is used in this country grew in
California, though it was ground aud
packod iu Euglaud. French mustard
is the same as other mustard, tho seed
being soaked iu vinegar, properlj
spiced, for tweuty-four hours betor
it is ground." Washington Star,
A Cobbler's tfuecr I'rnft.
An ingenious Yankee cobbler is ply
ing his trado at Atlantic, Me., iu
queer cralt. He has built a scow witl
a houso ou it wbie.U ho uses us a work
t-hop. Daring tho summer ho saili
from one place to uuothor doiug shoe
makiugj in tho u inter ho put tht
whole airauemeut ou runners aud
has it hauled to oouvetiient places.
Where the .Veilles tie.
A Topsbaui (Mo.) lady recently
tipped np au 'd fashioned needlt
i million that was tilled with brau,
I rum which alio secured over UOt
needles. The cushion has beou in thi
iaiuily for many years, aud eontaiuec
k lew aueieut needles. Bostou Her
Ud.