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Forest republican.
VOL. XXIX. NO. 32. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 25, 189G. 1.00 PEK ANNUM.
One of the most enconrnging signs
of the times ia the growth of free li
braries. Jinny paupers hare lived to bo a
Lnndrod years old, but thore is no
reoord of a millionaire having attained
that age.
A Chicago man by suit at law has
rooovored 820, 000 from a follow who
boat and robbod him. The ordinary
hold-up viotim is lucky it he reoovcra
consciousness.
A genius for figures baa worked out
the problem of bow much gold there
is in the ocean. lie places the amount
at $120,000,000,000,000,000, but he is
quite silent as to how it is to be got
out.
The latest number ot Pcterman's
Mittellungen says that "the interior
of north Greenland will horeafter bo
known as Teary Land." The compli
mont to the American arotio explorer
has been heartily approved by foreign
geographers.
' Jaoob II. Schiff has given the
Columbia University, Now York City,
$5000, to be known as the studonta'
loan fund. Under certain conditions
the money is to bo loaned to etudonts
in need of temporary accoinruooation,
to enable them to pay their way
through the university.
In tho present dullness of the lum
ber Irado the people who have bass
wood to sell cojoy more thnn the or
dinary share of what business there is
going in this market, says the Chicago
Times-Herald. This is duo to the faot
that the molding faotories use bass
wood for picture frames, and Chicago
ia the greatest picturo molding center
in the world.
The Volksstcn records a striking
miik of sympathy conferred upon Dr.
Leyds, Seeretary of State of the Trans
vaal republio, by his colleagdes.
Hearing thut he has been forbidden
by his doctors to tonch a cigar or pipe
or to drink a glass of wine, the mein
bora ot the Chamber, headed by their
President, have unanimously resolved
to leaves their pipes at home, and
smoking has been equally forbiddcu
in tho Government oflioee.
St. I'aul, Minn., has a pretty and
useful anuual custom which is worthy
of imitation elsewhere. Each fall, at
the olose ot tho flower-blooming soa
son, the plants that have blossomed in
tho parks during the summer are given
to those who may apply for them, and
are thus mado to do duty in brighten
ing the homes of many who could not
afford to purchase suoh things. Tho
city, of course, loses nothing by the
transaction, as the plants if not thns
disposed of, would bo killed by the
frost, new stook being set out each
spring. During the fall of 180(1 from
the largest park in the city over 120,
000 plants were given away. In addi
tion, tho smaller parks furnished
many thousands additional. In the
principal park the employes superin
tend the annual distribution, but In
the other parks the people are allowed
by the police to holp themselves. It
is a flower mission on a municipal
scale.
The Baltimore News believe! that
the time is not distant when the use ot
the typewriter will be taught in the
publio schools. It says there is reason
to expect this innovation. Tho type
writer has beooine an indispensable
applianoe in the businoss world and as
our system of popular education is
being made more and more praotical
we may Icok for it soon to embraoe
instruction in typewriting. The pro
gress of the typewriter has been mar
velous. It has been only a little more
than twenty years since the first ma
chine of this sort was plaoed upon the
market, and it was several years later
before there was any general nee of
typewriters. Now there are soores of
typewriter faotories in the United
Btates and the number of the maohines
they turn out is enormouB. It is com
paratively easy for a man or woman
who is an expert typewriter to get
employment. This iuveution has been
a great boon to the great and growing
number of women who have to sup
port themselves and others. There is
now hardly a business house of any
pretension whioh does not employ one
or more typewriters and they are
almost as common in the offices of
professional men. The use of the
typewriter increases daily. It has
been found a great saver of time and
by it correspondence is conduoted far
aore satisfactorily than by the old
nethod. All the businoss colleges and
ommei'oiat schools of the country
.each typewriting aud it may not bo
)Dg before those cities which have
lh( best equipped publio schools will
employ teachers of typewriting for
(hose pupils who cure to receive in
aUueliuu of that kind.
A HOLIDAY SONO,
A lltllo way from Work-a-day,
Down tbe small slope of mild doslrj
There swings a Rats to bar the way,
With roses and sweet brier,
Wlill. you and I, when time Is rlpo,
Upon his fragrant threshold Btnnd,
And look aoroes the harvest Holds
In fruitful Leisure-Land.
In Leisure-Land tho breath, like balm,
Sighs from the moist Hps easily,
Tbe eye, shine olonr, tbe brow Is oalm,
Tho heart beats full and free.
Thore Is no sound of fret nor strife
Of urging call nor harsh eommand,
One drinks a fresh, sweet draught of life,
In blessed Leisure-Land!
The birds sing soft, the oushats ooo,
Tbe breeso Just whispers to the flowers,
Deop-llned with autumn, as they fade,
To mark the peaceful hours.
Tho dancing brooklets wider swoop,
All voiceless where the blue (lag stand
Booking the drowsy bees to sleep,
In restful Leisure-Land.
Thenoome, while barveet moon Is full,
Sweetheart, adown the sloping way,
And whisper secrets to my soul,
Too dear for common day,
A little space, for the) and me,
Which, heart to heart, and band In hand,
Apart from weary Work-a-day,
We'll spend In Leisure-Land!
Qruoe E. Denlson, In Massoy's Magazine,
A FKONTIElt BRIDE.
BOUT the latter
part of the 60's
I set my faoe
westward, along
with the steady
procession that
was then pouring
into young Iowa.
It the reports
baa beard wero
true, and I be
lieved moBt of them, suooess was at
tho end ot the "raoe," and my auibi
tious blood flowed rapidly with restless
expectation. I had saved a little
money, besides being the owner of
fine span of grays and a heavy wagon
not a Dad outnt, 1 was told, for
young man going West with no one to
care for but himself.
Yet there was one, luoky for me, to
work for besiite myself, who acoom
pained me the first ten miles of my
long ride. When I helped her out of
toe wagon to admit an old chum who
was to make the journey with me, I
coold say nothing for tho lump in my
throat ; and Helen, too, looked very
pale when our lips met; and her "fare
well" was in a whisper.
I did not oall a halt unlij reaohing
Bradford, a village on the Little
Cedar, nearly a hundred miles west of
Dubuque. After looking about over
the timber-skirted prairie for teveral
days, I ohanoed upon a young man
who, like myself, had left his girl be
hind him. He began to praise the
"dear old State of Indiana, and I
knew, before I had talked with him
five minutes, that he was pitiably
homesick. A month before he had
purchased a beautiful "quarter," with
in a mile and a half of the village, and
was now anxious to sell it for what he
had paid the Government. I at onoe
accepted the offer, and soon after be
gan work. There was a sqnaro forty
acres without a stone, stomp, hill or
ledge and to think it was mine
ours! fori thought of the partner
elect just then.
The next six mouths were hard-w ' k
ing ones for me, but I wascheerod and
strengthened by suoh letters as this :
"Deab Willi It is fifty days since I saw
your oovored wagon pass out ot sight over
the hill at unole's and this Is my seventeenth
letter. Bo often writing might seem silly to
some, but It la the lo ist I can do to show bow
much I am thinking of you and of what you
are doing for us. Forgive me this use of 'us'
but I like to think of it In that way: you
know you told me I must. How I would like
to be there, do your oooklng aud help you
otheiwise; but I know God will let it besoms
time. Keep up good oheer, dear Will, tho
weeks are passing. Do you know, 1 am get
ting ready even at this early date. Oue big
trunk is lull nnd another well under way.
Two or three of my girl friends think they
have guessed a secret. Thev tell me I am
foolish to take my accomplishments out
among the Indians. Hut you can guess what
they would do If they hid a chanee. I am
more than pleased to be 'foolish' as they
term It; 1 am satisfied. Only one thing re
malus to make ine supremely happy and
Helen F."
When the first snow began to fall, I
was the owner of the most oomplete
log house'in the oountry, thanks to my
fiithor, who had taught me the use of
the broadax. Every room, even the
cellar, had a ooat of plaster and every
window a double sash.
The early days of December tound
winter beginning in earnest ; then oame
the long-antioiputed 15th I The morn
ing was crisp, but bright aud calm,
and tbe horses took the big bob sleighs
over the smooth road at a lively pace.
It was fifty miles to the nearest rail
road station a six hours' ride be
tweeen me and supremo happiness.
My feelings were indescribable as I
walked about, that evening, waiting
for the train to arrive. I looked at
everything but saw nothing. I was
weak, strong, light, heavy, happy and
miserable, all the same time. When
the ehrill scream of the looomotive at
lust echoed among the 'lurkey bluffs,
1 had worked myself into feverish ex
citement. The oars were usually crowded with
emigrants, and this evening it seemed
that soores of persons, mostly men,
were streaming from every coach. I
watched intently, but no vision suoh
as had been uppermost in my mind
could I see among the arrivals. With
a limpBy move toward the train, I de
termined to investigate ; perhaps she
was there after all. I passed a group
of noisy hotel clerks who were each
trying to induce a lady to deliver her
baggage.
"No," I heard her say, "I have not
yet decided where 1 shall stop; I am
looking for a friend."
Thut voice 1 I would have known it
anywhere. "Are you Miss Foster?" 1
exclaimed, stepping near her,
!Vh Willi"" I".
And well, I asked no permission of
the astonished loafers and clerks, I
had been away from the sweetest girl
in lUobland County, Ohio, too long to
stand on ceremony. The hotel in
whioh I had engaged a room was a
quarter of a mile from the depot, but
llolen preforred to walk, and jnsttnen
I could have carried all hor satchels
and her into the bargain, if it had
been neoessary.
I at onoe notiocd that she seemed
very reticent, and tho more I tried to
engage her. explaining how glad and
happy I was, how long the days had
been, how beautiful ene looked to me,
the less she said. My heart began to
sink as I thought she might already be
sorry she came. I could not see her
faoe for there was a hoavy veil over
it, but I oould feel her hand tromble
in mine.
We had ioarcoly entered our room
when she put her hands to her faoe
and began to sob as though her heart
was breaking. I was alarmed. She
had taken aohair, and, the cold sweat
oozing from my faoe, I knelt beside
her to speak a consoling word, trying
at the same time to master my own
toolings. I oould say but little, and
onlv to make her sob the more. At
last raising her eyes her head had
been resting on my shoulder, and I
could see she made a superhuman
effort to calm herself she said: "Oh,
Will, you you are frightened, for
give me, bnt you would not be if you
knew how happy 1 am. 11
But in my mad delight at that mo
meut, I cheeked her attempt to say
more. I could read the truth in her
face and I was satisfied. There was
simple wedding at the manse that
evening. There was one sentence that
old man of God, who united ns, uttered
that is fresh in my memory yet:
"William, I give to you this beautiful
virgin bride( who freely commits her
self and the priceless treasures a true
woman possesses, into yonr care ; may
she never bave reasons to regret it,
And the steel in bis eyes seemed to
pierce mv very eoul as he measured
the words.
The next morning, seated upon the
bottom of the big sleigh, with our
backs to a. large box and snugly
tuoked about by robes nnd blankets.
we sot our faces toward the rolling
prairie. It was two houcs after noon
when we halted before the log tavern
in Martinsburg, a village of half
dozen houses cn tbe Wapsie. After
seeing that Jane aud Sue, my faithful
horses, were well oared for, we sat
down to a steaming dinner ol corn
bread, venison and potatoes. Helen
was as hungry as she seemed happy.
"Thev stare at me so," she whis'
pered, glanoing toward a group of men
seated around a big neatetv
"I'd feel like thrashing the whole
lot of them if "they didn't," I ex-
olaimed in an undertone.
It was four o'clock before we were
ready to resume our ride. "You had
better remain over night," observed
the old innkeeper as 1 started lor my
team. "Fifteen miles is a long dis
tance to make this time ot day and the
road is heavy over the divide."
"I am anxious to roach borne to
night," 1 said, hastening.
"Porhops you are, but yon had bet'
ter liBten to me ; I (lou t like to see
you sot out with that pretty young
wife in this oold ; besides, we d like to
make you a little party.
W-at reason I had for oursing my
felt that I did not heed his advice, was
soon to be vividly demonstrated ; but
I knew what a jinglo there would bo
all night if I remaiued.
Soarcely half the distanoe was made
before darkness set in. A mild. wind
from the south had drifted the snow
and made traveling for tho horses
somewhat heavy. When we had
reached a small quaking asp grove,
through Whioh the track ran, 1 stopped
to examine the load, harness, etc, to
see that all was right for the drive in
the dark.
To my horror, I disoovered that i
large ham had been dragging, no tell
ing how far, by tho rope with which
it had beon, as I supposed, seourely
fastened, me few yelps i bad heard
behind us before we etoppod now viv
idly oame to mind. I hutily jumped
into the sleigh, at the same time cluck
ing sharply to the horses. We had
not covered a mile before a hugo
chorus of barks, familiar enough to
mo, beoame distinotly audible to us,
"Are those wolves we hear. Will?'
questioned Helen eagerly, as the noise
drew nearer. I answered her with an
effort at indifference, at tbe same time
pressing hor lips ; but I know she must
have felt my arm about her tremble.
The barking was now without inter
vals, and some of the brutes were al
ready about the sleigh. I knew the
ohanoes against ns, should the wolves
attack the horses, which they were al
most certain to do ; and there was also
imminent danger of the team getting
loose from the sleigh, or the sleigh
oapsizmg.
"Take tbe lines a moment, Helen,"
I said, quickly rising ; "wrap them
abont your hands so, and pull steadily
on them ; be sure you don't let them
drop; the horses are r. little excited,
you see," I then threw off my heavy
ooat and mittens that my limb and
hands might be freehand reaohing for
ward over the dash into a long, nar
row box, where I kept a few tools to
use in oases of emergency, I grasped a
hammer. It was now fully night, but
I oould see quite well. Tearing the
board from the top of the box against
whioh we had been leaning, 1 took
several packages ot goods from it.
"You must get into this, Helen," I
exclaimed, grasping the lines and at
the same time lifting her out of the
robes in which we had been wrapped.
"Oh, Will, what is the matter? I
I what will you do? I shall not,
Will. Let me hold tho reius for you
while "
"It is no time to talk, dear, you
munt do it ; be quick." But she clung
to my arms aid begged wo to let her
drive.
Vwcily giving the tvius twii
about the projecting pieoe on the dash
and grasping her, it was bnt the work
of a moment to put hor into tho box
and throw the robes over her. I be
wolves were now making a horrid din
about the eloign, and the horses were
rapidly running. The sleigh plunged
so that I had diuloulty in soourely fas
tening back the box cover.
"God knows, it may be her conin I"
I groaned, as I could now hoar her
piteous moans from within ; but I
knew help might reaoh her before tho
devilish brutes oould gnaw into the
box, even if they did devour me.
Fear, suoh as I had felt at first, had
left me now, and my blood was up.
Several wolves had mounted the
baok end ot the sloigh and were gnaw
ing at the misohievous ham, Seizing
an old musket whioh I usually carried
loaded with buckshot for doer, I beat
them off and fired into the pack. I
knew by the terrifio yells that the
charge had taken effeot, but it did
little to cheok the onslaught. Even
the meat whioh I threw out seemed
but to increase their thirst for blood.
I could bow see lights ahead, but I
knew they were sometimes visible at
a long distance. The horses were
laboring hard over the soft track and
several wolvts were threatening them.
I momentarily expected an attack. I
resolved upon a desperate expedient.
Chocking the team as muoh as pos
sible for a moment, I carefully etoppod
upon the sloigh tongue, and sprang
upon the on mare. We were now
completely surrounded by the how
ling, snarling beasts, and I had
soarcely struck my position when Sou,
the near horse, reared and violently
plungod ahead, and at the same time a
black object rolled into the snow
almost beneath her forefeet. Firmly
grasping my knife, 1 reached down
and severed a tug, A sudden jerk, s
sharp snap, and the horses were flying,
free from their burdon.
In a few minutes I was dashing
along the main street toward the tav
ern, yelling for help at every jump ol
tho horses. A dozen mon in a sleigh
were soon hastening to the rescue. I
had cautioned them to be eareful in
firing, as my wife was in a box and
there would be danger of hitting her.
At sight of the men and dogs, the
wolves quickly dispersed, A few won
shot.
Contrary to my fears, the Bleigh wai
not capsized, but the contents were
piled in a confused mass in front. The
men soon had the eover off the box,
and I eagerly reaohed for my loved
one and lifted her out. But her body
was limp and motionless; her head
tell back, revealing her face and neck
as white as snow, except a dark, ir
regular line extending front her fore
head down and disappearing under
her dress.
"Oh, my God, she has been shot,"
I moaned.
That was the last I knew nutil I fell
a soft hand gently pressing my fore
head ; opening my eyes, there bending
over me was the lovely form of th
one who I was oertaln had been
pieroed by a bullet, but who had only
received a slight wound by a project
ing nail in the box.
The old log house still stands,
a cherished rolio; a home for
pigeons and a play house foi
tho grandchildren. Tho big ootton
wood that spreads its branches ovei
the moss oovered clapboards wai
planted by Helen's own hands, whet
it was a mere sprout. But here oomoi
Helen the second, our first born
holding a sweet baby faoe to mine,
saying, "Tiss durnpa, that's a darling
now tissdramma."
Ask Helen if I ever forgot t he wordt
of the old parson. New England
Homestead.
How a Deaf and Blind lilrl Talks.
The hundreds ot personal friends ol
Helen Keller, the totally blind and
totally deaf girl, whose development
aud whose attainments aro nothing
short of marvelous, and the tens o
thousands who have become interested
in her will bo pleased to learn of tut
remarkable progress she has beet
making within the last year. Noi
only does she use her voice constantly
iu oommuuicating with thobe abou'
her, but she has reached that stagt
where those who wish to talk with hei
speak to her as they would to any ont
in full possession of all his senses.
Miss Keller no longer uses hor linger i
to talk to others. She uses them now
in conversation simply to listen tc
others who speuk to her. By placing
her fingers on the lips and throat ol
those who are talking to her ,'ehe nol
only almost instautly "hears" wordi
that are difficult to pronounce clearly,
but sho is also enubled to deteot tht
various shadings of vowel sounds that
many persons even with a keenly de
veloped ear, cannot pronounce after I
teacher. Domorest's Magazine.
The Book He Wanted.
Illustrative of the old saying that l
certain class of intelligence oau ask
more questions than a wise man out
answer in a long time, a man abou)
Concord, Mass., recently met Dr.
Emerson, son of Ralph Waldo Einer
son, aud asked him if he might bor
row some of his books. "Certainly,
said thedootor; "aDy you like." A
day or so after the man culled. "You
said I might take a book," he began.
"You may have any you like," replied
tho doctor. "Well, kinkly loam mi
your mileage book over the Fitohburg
Bailroad. "
llreilglug lor I'earls.
A look ut the map of the Bay o1
Fauauia will show, some forty milei
from Colombia, the l'earl Islands, op
the east side of the bay. Ou the west
side of tho bay peurls are found al
the way to Chiriqui and Veraguu. Tht
lutU-r beds may bo dredged, uud they
are puorly dredged ; but no drodginf
is allowed ut tho l'euil Isluuds, when
pearls now are only secured by diver J.
1hil" JelpUia Ledger,
SUIEMTFIC AND INDUSTRIAL,
The brain of an idiot contains much
less phosphorus than that of a person
of average mental powers.
i A clever Parisian has invented a
machine which can split one human
hair lengthwise into thirty-six strips.
Many of the so-called "vegetable
ivory" buttons used ou dresses are
made of potatoes treated with sul
phuria acid.
In fifty-six Austrian oities, with a
total population of 8,53G,10A, the av
erage mortality lost year was 25.8
per thousand.
A steel fly wheel twenty-five feet in
diameter and requiring 250 miles of
wire in its construction, has been
made in Germany.
Pictures have been obtained by tho
Roentgen rays through eight and one
half inohes of iron plate by Herr Dor
mann, of Bremen.
M. Maingauit, the famous anato
mist, discovered that by forcing air
into the larynx of a dead animal
sounds could be produoed very similar
to those of the voioe daring lifo.
Dr. Dawson Tucker has dssoovered
that the Roentgen ray sexist in nature,
namely, in the ordinary glow worm,
whose light penetrates thin sheets of
aluminum and other substances.
The prime of life of a man of regu
lar habits and sound constitution is
from thirty to fifty-five years of age ;
of a woman from twenty-four or
twenty-five to about forty years of
age.
A petrified fish found by Dr. New
berry at Delaware, Ohio, weighed
twenty-five pounds, and is as perfect
in form, position of fins, scales, eto. ,
as though it had died but yesterday
instead of 2000 years ago.
A new and very effioiont insect pow
der has been introduced in Europe.
It consists simply of pyrothrum flow
ers, to every hundredth part of whioh
is added one part of naphthalin by
weight. The uaphthalin must be iu
very fine powdor and intimately mixed
with the pj rethrum.
It has been aocideutly discovered
that a oertain beetle has mandibles of
suoh strength that it can out metal.
Some Brazilian speoimens were tem
porarily placed in a glass jar with a
pewter top, and in less than forty
eight hours they had cut holes in the
metal large enough to protrude their
heads.
Where the I)oaf May Hear.
Many an old lady goes to ohurch ot
a Sunday and sits through the service
in a frame of mind devout to a degree,
but never hears a solitary word of the
sermon.
There is a preaoher in Syracuse, Rev,
George B. Spalding, D. D., who has
changed all that. Ur. Spalding is pas
tor of the First Presbyterian Church,
a religious body made up in the main
of wealthy folk to whom money is no
particular object.
Moved at first by tbe lamentations
of some of his aged pavishioners that
they could not hear his preachments
Dr. Spalding was a newspaper man
before he joined the olergy, and is a
practical soul withal he arranged,
for the better dolivory of the Gospel
to those deaf brethren and sisters,
speaking tubes whioh ran from a large
metal receiver really a megaphone
immediately in front of him on the
pulpit, dowu under tho flooring of the
auditorium and up into the pews.
The megaphone is built into the
front ot the pulpit, so that when read
ing or speaking tho doctor addresses
it direotly.
So successful did the clergyman's
devioe provA, that speaking tubes were
put into every pew in the great audi
torium. Any person, who is hard of
hearing and happens to be a visitor to
the church, will find means at hand of
hearing the sermon.
Oue deaf old lady, who went to Dr.
Spalding's charoh the other day, hov
iug heard of the speaking-tube system,
burst into tears when she put the trans
mitter to her ear and caugb tthe sound
of the preacher's voioe. She said it
was the first sermon she had hoard for
over a quarter of a century. New
York Journal.
An Idea In Parachutes.
An Italian aeronaut named Copazza
has invented two balloon attachment,
which are said to have fully realized
the expectations formed of them. Tho
one is an enormons parachute stretched
over a balloon, and tbe other a folded
parachute hanging nnder the basket.
If the'aeronuut finds that his balloon
is rising too fast he opens the folded
parachute, whioh immediately acts as
a huge air brake and effectually re
tards progress.
On the other band, should the air
vessel explode through expansion, fire,
or any other cause, the top parachute
oome into aotion and a descent may be
inude without the slightest iucouveni
ence.
A New Telephone,
A Russian electrician named Kil
isohewsky has perfected a telephone
which pruoticully disregards distance.
At a recent test between Masoow aud
Hoetoff, 890 miles, tulking, singing
aud instrumental musio at one end of
the line were distinotly heard by lis
teners at the other. Au experiment is
to be made by land wires aud Atlantio
cables in talking between Loudon uud
New York,
Japanese Postage Stamps.
The new Japanese stamps, which
were issued on September 13th, were
for the first time in thut country
adorned with heads of prominent per
sons. The origiuitl iuteution was to
inuke the stamps commemorative of
the war with China, Cut the luto l'ruue
Minister Ito rejected tlio samples ou
tho ground that it would not bu well
to constantly rewind the Chinese of
Uttir du(vftt. . . ,
OTHER DAYS,
Ala! alas! for the days gone by,
Of tho fluniing cheek and tho flashing eyoj
Of the timid touch of the llDger tips,
Of the petals blown from the poppy lips!
When days were dreams, and nights wore
long,
And life flowed on like a river's song,
Under a Juno day's goldon sky
Alas! alas! for the days gono by.
Alasl alas! for the days gone by, "
And, alas, that our youth should ever diel
Good fortune may oome, aud evil may go,
But nothing can woo back youth wo know.
Youth, with Its fragrance, charm and Bush,
Goes, like the lyric of lust yeur's thrush.
Youth will laugh when It hoars ago sigh-
Alas! alas! for the days gone by.
John Ernest McCann.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Mabel "Why has Miss Elderly
taken np musio ?" Clara "Because
she wants to beat time." Judge.
It is not every bicycle ridor who can
lower the reoord, but it is a poor
bicycle that cannot lower tho rider,
Texas Sifter.
Willie "Are you tho nearest rela
tive I've got, ir anuria?" Mother
"Yes, love ; and your pn is the closest
relative you've got." Judge.
"Help! Help I" cried the man who
was being robbod. "Calm yourself,"
Baid the highwayman. "I don't need
any assistance." London Tit-Bits.
We have noticed that young girls
don't talk so confidently of what good
cooks they are when other members of
the family are around. Atchison
Globe.
"Ob, you just ought to see our flat,"
sheexclaimed enthusiastically. "Wo've
the loveliest combination kiteheu and
folding bed that ever wia. "--Detroit
Tribune.
"Tho bntoher offered mo his hand
this morning." "Indeed?" "Yes'm.
He tried to sell it to mo with tho stoak,
but I made him take it off the scales."
Cincinnati Enquirer.
To Please the Publio : "The peoplo
seem to be gutting tired of this
brand of cracked wheat," said the
wholesale dealer. "VVe"ll have to
change the name of it." Chicago
Tribune.
Hicks "I hear there is trouble be
tween Bowser and his wife." Wicks
"Yea; he brought home a taudeui,
and they have been fighting ever since
about who shall ride in front." Bos
ton Transcript.
Mudge- "If there is one thing I do
pride myself on, it is my independ
ence of character." Wickwire
"Well, a man who lives iu tho way
you do doesn't have to depend on his
charaoter." Indianapolis Journal. v
"This is' the first pair of gloves I
have had in a number of year," re
marked tho business man, on the Madi
son cable. "And you got those," com
mented tho unshaved man in an ad
joining seat, "jiut to keep your hand
in," Chicago News.
Miss Torkbuck "And now you
must speak to papa, you know." Ihe
Duke of Mudlaads (just accepted)
"If you moan in regard to our affair,
why, certainly; but if you are allud
ing to recoguiziug him ou tho street,
1 must decline." -Cincinnati En
quirer, "I suppose," said the man in the
yellow ulster, "it doesn't hurt your
glass eyo when you get anything in
it." "Does it look as if it would ever
be likely to have a pane iu it?" re
sponded the other frigidly. And he
gave him the glassy stare. Indiana
polis Journal.
Nieoe (alleotionately) "So glad
yor've come, Aunt Gotroke. Folks
all sick in th' house ma's worn out
sittin' up with 'em pa's out of work
an' they eiu't nothin' t' eat. Th' twins
are outtin' double teeth au' come body's
pizened th' well. Do come in an' take
offycr things; I know ma'll be glad
to see vou !" Judge.
Tacks.
The smallest ai ticle in the hardware
trade is a tack. I find that "tack" is
a small nail, a fastening. The word
is found m Celtio speech, though
rootod in Aryoa. It is really a "stack,"
but somewhere in the shuttle the ""
got lost. It is met with in such com
mon Euglinh words as "stuck," "at
tack," "stake," "take," eto. You
"tuck" a carpet on the floor; end at
times "attack" au enemy. If you do
not live in a prohibition State, as I do,
you may sometimes "take" a drink;
"tackle" a big watermelon at night
when the moou goes behiud a cloud ;
become "attached" to some fellow's
sister; "stack" your arms; "stake"
your money on a populiatio candidate
for l'resideut ; swear out an "attach
ment" on a delinquent subscriber to
Hardware, aud iu each ot tie words
the busy little iron "tuck" is iu it for
blood. If you go sailing yon "tuck"
your bout by "attachiug" a vope that
is "attached" to the lower coruor of a
square sail, to the windwurd side of
the bout; the rope is called a "lack,''
und it is tho "attaching" of the "lack"
that cuuHt'B the bout to "tuck" uud go
ou another "tuck." Turn it about as
you may, that busy little fastener
keeps getting in its work. Hardware.
Detect iuic Discuses,
A Manchester photographer relate
thut he recoutly took a phologruph of
a child who wus apparently in good
health and had a clear bkiu. The ueg
utivo fchowed the faoe to be thickly
oovered with an eruption. Three days
afterwards the child was covered with
spots due to prickly heat. The cumera
had seen uud photographed the trup
tiou three days before it was visible to
tho nuked eyo. 11 is suid thut another
cunti of a siiaibtr kind is recorded,
where u child showed spots ou his por
trait which luviniblu ou his face a
fortnight previous to uu attack of
feiuullpyx, -'-r.
TEMPERANCE.
the march of the TEHfEiASCB yawt. ,
Join hands!
The mists are lifting.
All the east Is red,
What though black clouds, fiercely shitting,
Mutter overhead,
Storms have come and storms have van
ished,
And the green earth stands
Trusting till her ills are banished.
Friends, join handsl
Close ranks! .
Across the valley
Hee the foomen stand,
Massing for the eomlng rally,
Ready for command.
Ours to meot and oheck their scourging,
Our reward, the thanks
Of the souls this war is purging. ,
Friends, olose ranks! J
Forward, march!
The field's before us, , .
Homes we love at hand; Y
With the God of battles o'er U8
Tread we now the land. i
March, till purity shall level (
Safe hlghwny of peace, 1
March, agulust rum's rout and revel, V
Forward for rolease,
March!
NEW cmiE rOB nBCVKKXXKSS.
"I wns out last night doing the town," said
he, "nnd of all the rackets I ever bad in my
life It bent all of them!"
"Why, I thought you had sworn off drink)
Ing," remarked his friends, apparently sur
prised. '
"So I have nnd that's where the racket
comes in. Vou see, I had never done suoh
thing when I was sober. It was a new sen
sation. Aud, Incidentally, I have discovered
a new cure furdrunkennoss. Keeley isn't to
it cure you in one night, see?" I
"No; I can't say that I do."
"Well, I'll tell you. Just go out with the
gang you have boon used to traveling with,
and stick to ? oft stuff and cigars yourself all
night. Htav right with thorn all night: go
where they go nnd see what they see and do
nnd listen to them talk. In other words get
their measureof fuunnd seowhut you would
have called fun yourself If you had been
drinking. You'll then understand whatk
fool you have been lots of times. v
"1 tell you thst if I had had a stenographer
and taken down cverythiug that was said,
writiug in the action and background, and
showed those fellows the plain truth, they
would never touch another drop as long at
they lived.
"Of all the drivel that passed for wit, and
tho lugubrious stun tlmt posed as humor! ;
"And they were Btuurt fellows, too sober.
They laughed at everything when one said
nnythiug. They went to a new bar every
ten minutes till midnight, and the most
brilliant thing uttered up to that time was
'Cheer up!' This created such euthuslusui
that he repeated It every now and then at
they tut about the all-night places. Funulesl
thing I ever saw In my life! Fact. I'll
never drink again. Not where I can be seen
and heard bet your life!" New lork Hep
uld.
INEBRIATE BOBOUE. V
Topekn, Kan., lias an Inebriate morgue
This is a place whero drunkards, while In t
comatose state from a too free indulgence
iu liquors, can be properly laid out so the;
they may be Identified by their friends -ol
by their wives or children. This was th
Idea of Commissioners Holidny nnd Rodger.
The Commlss.ouers, upon studying thi
police statistics of Topeka, were pained t
1 1 ml that a large number of ultlzens were in
the habit of lapsing from the way of sobri
ety at regular intervals. This was espeo
ciully so ou Saturdny nights.
The police of Topoko were put to a good
deal ol trouble by these "regulars," as they
were called, us well us by "transients," who
come into their net from time to time. II
was a bother to take people from cell t
cell fnr the imr-nnaM nf 1 ,l.t,tl f l n.l - ..I
I whou the cells were utterly useless In re
straining uio prisoners, who could not uav
broken out of jail If they had tried to.
It was obviously ubsurb to nut tbom In
the regular morgue, stretched out ainouti
corpses. Then tho commissioners conceived
the happy Idea of setting aside a separat
room ut 1'olico ieadiuaiters for an luebrl
utes' morgue.
Here the titizous of Topeka, who huv
temporarily lost control of themselves, art
laid out in formal rows, and gentlemen in
quiring for lost friends, or wives who do nol
know what has heome of their husbands,
ran muke a leisurely inspection of th'
bodies. ,
THEY WILL NOT DO It AGAIN.
Not loug ago, says the Natlonnl Temper
ance Advocate, several employes on th
IMawure, Lackawanna and Western Ball
road attached their names to petitions foi
liquor licenses. The matter was brought to
tho notice of Gcueriil Munnger W. F. Hull,
stead at Hcrunton, I'eun. Mr. Hullstead is
not a Prohibitionist, but ho bus no sympathy
whatever with saloons uor with drinking,
and dialog bis life lias done great work for
tho advancement of the temporance cause iu
thousands of dllferent ways. Well, he sent
for nil the "petitioners," who were Informed
thut he would give them just tweutv-foui
hours to get their uuines off tbe saloon
petitions. Did they obey orders? Well, you
should bave sueu how those railroad men
scampered up to the Court House! They
Will never do it aguiu.
As a reu.su u for his action Mr. HalUtead
saidi
"When we engage meu on the D.. L. and
W. we not only him muscle but alsooleai
brain, und a uiau has 110 more right to In
dulge in that which would beoloud or dull
that brain thnn he would have of taking s
drug that would weaken his muscle. A
railroad may adopt the most perC vi system
of railroading iu tho world, but it tukei
clear brums to cany out the system, and
thut Is the reason the IV, L. and W. insists
ou having men thut huvu nothing to do wltf
saloons." i
INCOKSIHTENT.
Soma of Ilia greatest strikes In the oouu'
try, says Temperaucn Cuuse, which threw
thousands ot men out ot employment and
involved millions of dollars, took place be
cause the wagi-s of tho laborers wero eu
down a fuw cuutsu day; and yet thousuudi
of these sumo luborors willingly bund ovei
every duy a lar larger sum to the most Iu
human of cupltall.-ts, the saloon keeper, foi
the privilego of ruining theuiselvos and iw
poverlshlug their families.
HUM AWrt'L WORK.
Ham truusformed him; rum destroyed nil
prospects; rum disappointed parental espei
iutlon; ruin withered those trurlauds of com
mencement duy; rum cut his lip; rumdashec1
out his maulioiid; ruui, accursed ruin! Tliti
foul thing gives iuu swing to its scythe uud
our bust murcliunts f ill; their stores are sola
und tlioy sink into dishonored graves. Ais'uio
it swings its scythe, and sumo of our best
plijsiciuns full into suilerlngs thut lhel
ft isest presjriptious can aot cure.
NO t'OSllltNT MUE--SAUY.
We hurdly think the utvompunyiDg pic
ture, needs u word ot eon iueiit. it curries
its own lessou, says the Uural New Yorker.
Iu tho year ending Juue o, l.vj-l, the people
of this country coustim-vl 1,07, 731, '.MS gal
lons of liquor. There is no getting urouud
the fact that I lie money puul for this s'ull
was wiv-ttvi. It i also' true that the drink
ing ol tills liquor liiude it necessury to pro
vide vast sums ol money lor juila, insane
asylum? and poorhou-cs. What u fool a
iliuil would be to fa-t'll u tirty-potlltd Welu'ilt
to his biok and i-ui rv it uioun I wherever he
goes! Vet Wolsll lolly 111. ,11 tills Is too uctlou
id tluu-e temp'-runeo people who ronluo tho
evil of tho suloou, and yet do not trouble
Veiuselvi jto put it iluttU. J