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HOR
EPUBLICAN.
VOL. XXIX. NO. 17. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUG. 12, 189G. S1.00 PER ANNUM.
IR
JEST
Of every 1000 Europeans. 202 art
Russian?, 130 Germans, 116 Austrians,
107 French, 100 English, 84 Italians,
49 Spanish, 17 Belgians, oto.
The investment in good roads made
by Stnton Island will pay for itsoll
many times over in a vary few years,
predicts the Now York Bun. Tha
population is already increasing
rapidly,
Li Hang Chang is said to have been
greatly impressed by bis interview
with Bismarck, particularly with the
ox Chancellor's suggestion that the
best way to reform and np-bnild China
would be upon tho basis of an army,
even if it comprised no more than CO,
000 men.
This shows up well for American
liberality, Dr. Wolf, of tho Univer
sity of Heidelberg, triod in vain to
raiso sufficient funds to buy a new
photographio telescope for the insti
tution. MissLorillard Bruce got over
the difficulty by presenting a new in
strument, which is siid 4o be even
larger thnn that which she prcsoutod
to Harvard.
If Schopeuhnuer were living ho
would bo delighted to find that whilo
Hegel, tho supremo object of his con
tempt, is falling into oblivion in Gor
man y, his idol, Kant, is coming more
and ruoro to tho front. Not only has
tho Berlin Academy of Sciences de
oided to issue a new, complete edition
of his works, but a now periodical de
voted to Kautistn is to bo brought
out, Professor Vaihinger being tho
editor.
Speaking at a meeting in London
in support of the unity of the English
speaking world, Sir Waltor Besant, tho
woll-known novelist, dcolarod that ho
did not believe that Canada, Australia,
and tho other great colonies would
continue tho fiction of depeudenco
upon Great Britain for any groat length
of time. They will go their way with
the best wishes of Englishmen and be
come republics with the friendliest
feelings toward England.
Tbe publio school children have
adopted tho following "State flowers"
for thoir respective commonwealths:
Alabama, Nebraska and Orogon, the
golden rod ; Colorado, the columbine ;
Delaware, the peach blossom ; Idaho,
tho syriugai, Jcwa and Now York, tho
roso; Maine, the piue cone and tassol;
Minnosota, the cypripodium or moo
Basin flower; Moutana, tho bitter
root; North Dakota, the wild rose;
Utah, the logo lily, and Vermont, the
red clover. In addition, Rhode Island
aud Wisconsin havo adopted a State
tree, the maple having been selected
by both.
The gross blundors about the United
States and its peopio, onoe so common
in even tho best informed English
newspapers, are rarely mot with now
adays. Once in awhile we hear some
thing about the "State of Albany,"
and occasionally that, tho Indian
savages threaten Chicago, but as
a rule English editors avoid sori
ous errors, though they sometimes
make laughable ones. Of this
latter charaoter is the follow
ing, which the Chicago Times-Herald
clips from the Westminster Gazette.
It certainly ought to have a startling
effect wherever it is read: "One of
tho most curious colonies that have
ever been established on the American
Continent is, we learn from the Lon
don American, about to settle in
North Dakota. It is a colony of
drunkards. Twenty-one drunkards
and their families are about to move
from Indiana to take up their abode
upon the virgin soil of North Dakota.
They say they will establish a 'modal
drunkard colony.' Already they have
purchased 2000 acres of land, and each
family will rcoeive an allotment of
about fifty acres. The colony will be
watched with much interest. It be
gins operations this month. Very
likely all tho colonists will want to
start saloons, and tho question arises,
who will be ready to till the soil?"
Wo fancy, comments the Times-Herald,
we can see John Bull elevating
his eyebrows at this paragraph and
exclaiming: "What a very remarkable
people 1" The joke, if there is one in
this amusing mistake, is on our es
teemed fellow citizens, the Dunkards,
who are neither tipplers nor drinkers,
and look not upon tho wino when it is
red. A colony of Dunkards from
Indiana hove recently established
themselves in North Dakota, a fuot
that was stated in the Times-Herald a
mouth or two ugo. It was the mis
reading of this piece of news by our
English contemporary that made them
out a "colony of tipplers." They are,
iu fact, a religious sect of German ori
gin and are nicknamed Duukera oi
Tunkers "dippers" because of theii
mycio of baptism. They call then
' clves "The .ISrethMU-'t
A BONO OF LOVE.
Tbe earth below, and the heaven abovoi
Let us live, my dears let us live and lovoj
We know not all that the blue skins moan,
Hut the beautiful lilies loll and lon.ni
And hero Is the sunshine, and moadows of
frreon,
And rivers with sllvory ripples betweou:
The oarth below, and tho heaven above:
Let us live, my doari lot us live and lovol
The earth below, find the heaven nbovoi
Lot us live, my dear, for a breath of lovoj
Wo know not tho moaning of stars and
skies
We only see hoaven In Love's glad oyesi
We give him our sorrow our songs and our
signs,
And a red rose is born for each red ro90 that
dios!
Oh, tho earth bolow, and tho heaven nbove!
Let ns llvo, my doar; lot us live and lovol
Lot us live, my dear, In the lonoly lands, "
For a kiss, a tear and a clasp of hands;
For whatever blessings a soul may. miss,
There is nothing in heaven as sweet as this
Love's kiss, Lovo's lingering, first sweet kiss
With tho earth below and the heaven abore!
And a Ufa, my doar, that Is lived for lovol
F. L. Stuuton.
THE TRAMP,
LL health, com
bined with fated
oircurast a n o e s,
placed Wil 1 i n ni
and Mary Churl.
ton upon the
hands of charity.
Now charity in
some places is not
by a good deal
what it is in
other?.
Ho William,
who nad seen
"better days,"
who had culti
vated a'manly do'
gree of iodepen
donee, for the
love of it, would
have died a n d
he did see his
lovoly Mary die, and he fol
lowed hor the same day rather
than petition his proud and wealthy
neighbors, when he Know that they
were aware of his helplessness, yet
kept baok thoir alms, waiting, not an
opportunity, but a solicitation, to do
good.
Henry, their only son, oged twolvo,
brought np as he had been, acous-
tomed to little and ezpeotant of less,
how did he know "pap" and "mam"
were dying?
He had always been accustomed to
that pinched, cadaverous look ; he had
often held his mothor s thin hand bo
tween his eyes and the fire, and seen
her thin, bony ringers turned to
threads of jelly, end her hands were
always cold.
But he had nover scon such wild ox
pressions upon bis pnronts' faces as
that evening when he came home from
fishing, with his bass "for mam,"
which bis mother would never need
One was before the iiroplaoe on the
floor, the other on what passed for a
bed ; their eyos were staring blankly,
cold and clammy ; their lips were
apart, and when Henry spoke they did
not answer.
He knew nothing of death, save that
he had seen poor Leo, '.the dog, hanged
to save even what the poor dog ate ;
and now they locked like Leo did.
Foor boy I his heart knew no grief ;
he knew nothing but poverty, misery,
hunger and toil, liorn to his con
dition, irresponsible for his existence,
never yet awakened to the rcsponsi
bilities of entity oh, what experi
ences, bitter to the dregs of bitter
ness, awaited this child of misfortune 1
'Twas better that ho did not realize
it all.
"I'll toll Squire Johnson ; I b'lieve
they are 'swung' like Leo was," he
said to himself, as he started toward
their two-milesoff, though nearest
neighbor.
He, as children ofttimes do, had
substituted the cause for the efleot,
Knowing that poor Leo had been
hanged, and now seeing them still.
cold and silent, he reasoned as he
did.
"Squire, they are swung pap is,
and
"Now, boy, none of your simpering
impudenoe I II you want anything,
tell that; if not, go on home I .
"I say, squire, they are 'swung,'
like Leo was, and I can't make 'em
talk, or wake 'em up ; they are cold,
and their eyes are opon, and
"They are dead, then," said little
Thomas Johnson.
Squire Johnson, moved more by
curiosity than by pity, mounted his
horse and rode down to William Charl
ton's, rinding the lad's story only too
true.
This, then, was tho mute appeal of
the dead to charity, .these people
must be buried. The squire notified
some of his poor noighbors to attend
to the alluir, and he d foot the bill.
and said :
"This boy, Henry, may stay with
my gardener for a few days, and then
he must hunt work.
And this is the cry of the tramp, "I
am hunting work," and proud, rioh
Squire Johnson put this cry iuto the
mouth of Henry Charlton and started
him out a tramp.
It was autumn, and the approach of
winter had already been heralded by
his white errand boys tho hoar-frosts
of the middle latitudes.
Night had passed ; another clear,
crisp, frosty morning had dawnod up
on the sons of men, ushering in an
other glorious day, fraught to some
with dazzling delight and unfeigned
happiness ; to others, with only black
despair, disappointment and death,
From beside a hay stuck, whose
friendly shelter he had sought the
evening before, to break the chilly air
and to preveut the frost from gather
isg upuu hi body, crept the wasted
mm.
form of a young man just in the first
blush of blooming manhood, so far as
age was concerned; but the wan cheek,
pallid brow and cadaverous look, be
spoke that all the eloments of man
hood were wanting in that hollow
frame.
Had his past life, from early boy
hood, been such as to have given na
ture but half a ohanoe, the vigor of
both body and mind would have chal
lenged tho admiration and won the re
spect of his fellow-beings.
But Henry Charlton had enjoyed
none of those favorable circumstances
oonduoive to a vigorous growth either
of body or mind.
He had "hunted work, and faith
fully, too, ever since Squire Johnson
bad startod him out a tramp.
After his few days stay at the gar
dener's, that worthy informed him
that ho muBt "hunt some employ
ment," Whither was he toco? His weak
looks and attenuated form wore a bar
rier to his being employed.
"lou can t stand it to work, they
said.
So it was, day after day, the poor
boy had trudged along, traveling miles
and miles, kicked and cuffed, receiv
ing harsh words and soornful looks
everywhere.
He stepped out from the haystack,
looked toward tbe town in an unde
cided way, for he had begged at every
houso on tbe previous evening, re
ceiving only a few cold buckwheat
cakes, from an old colored woman.
As if involuntarirly, he started toward
the houso of the farmer, by whose
staok he had passed the night.
"I can chop wood, or husk enough
oorn," he thought, "to pay for broak-
fast.
"What is it?" said Farmer Mild-
man, "Want to chop wood, oh?
Well, yes, some of your stripe asked
to do that same thing, one morning
last week, and whon 1 went into my
breakfast, ho ran oil with my axe."
"Oj, let a starving man do some
thing for his food I" said Henry.
Farmer Suleiman was moved by the
sad, pathetic pleading, and being thus
moved, turned the stream of Henry's
life into smoother channels forever.
"John, bring thia man a basin of
water, soap and towel. Oome into
the poroh, I will try you. I will give
you something to eat, and plenty to
do."
There was a vein of kindness in
tho farmer's tone, which almost made
Henry think he was dreaming one of
those haunting dreams whioh only
those subjected to great hunger
dream.
"When did you havo as muoh as
you could eat, young man? You must
be careful for a few days."
The smoking "fatty ponos' and
seething sanges, with other substan
tial, so bountiful on the farmer's
board, did seem, indeed, to justify
his caution to the half famished
wretch.
Henry soon inoreased in health and
spirits, as muoh from the farmer's
kindness as from being bountifully
fed.
His father had successfully im
planted in his youthful mind the prin
ciple of doing thoroughly whatsoever
he undertook. So Honry pleased the
farmer by his willingness and thor
oughness in his work.
It is needless to trace his progress
in the farmer's favor ; sullioe it to say
that he was soon the trusted foreman
on the large stook and grain farm of
Jacob Mildman.
"She is very seriously hurt, sir
indeed you may prepare for tho
worst.
These were the words of the doctor,
pronounoed over the still, deathlike
body of Belle Mildman, who had boen
galloping over the fields, when her
red nubia, flopping in the breeze, had
attraoted the attention of one of her
father's fine Durhams, whioh pitched
suddenly at hor horse from out a dense
thioket.
0?he horse, coming to such a sudden
halt, threw Miss Belle over his head
int the very horns of the enraged
bull.
C'.'nis served as a taunt to the enraged
bcist, which now rushed madly upon
her, pawing and stamping her lithe
form into the yielding soil.
Young Charlton, who was passing
near by, flew to Belle's rescue, wheu
the animal pitched at him so unex
pectedly that ho was terribly gored
before his trusty revolver had done
its work.
Poor Charlton was now unable to
walk, muoh less take care of uncon
scious Belle ; but the field hands in an
adjoining inolosure, being attracted
by the firing, came and bore the in
jured persons to the house.
Miss Belle was so horribly tramped
that she died, and Henry came near
following her; but nature, aided by
the best nursing, combined with the
best medical skill in the State (for Mr.
Mildman spared no expense for him
who had risked his lifo for that of
Belle, triumphed, and after six weary
weeks thoy announced that he would
live.
But Jacob Mildman did not long
survive his daughter--the shock was
too much for his naturally weak con
stitutionand he, the last of the name,
soon went to meet his daughter and
her angel mother.
But before he died he did not forgot
nenry. In his will, after a fow niiuor
bequests to servants, Henry was made
the prinoipal heir.
When fully convalescent, after
spending a fow years iu Europe, Henry
came back to Mildman homestead :
and thinking how best to invest his
accumulative surplus, he resolved to
found an asylum for those who were
truly "hunting work.
This he did, and one day, while rid
ing in his 'carriage, just approaching
the asylum grounds, be met a poor,
blind bnsket-makor, led by a niece, a
lass small, though about nineteen
years of age.
, SoiutHkiiiK in tho girl's laoe eeouied
familiar, and sho looked so prottyjwith
al, that he instantly warmed toward
them, resolving not to take them to
the asylum, but to his own house at
least for a time.
"Do you wish to sell your baskets?"
ho said, by way of opening the con
versation. "Oh, sir, if wo only could soil one!
Poor Uncle Jonas has had nothing to
eat since yesterday evening, and 1 am
so tired of being ordered away from
people's doors!"
"Uncle Jonas 1" thought Henry. "It
must be Delia. "
Follow experionoes, as well as fellow
fcoliugs, make us wondrous kind,
though Henry was kind by nature.
"I'll buy all of your willow," he
said. "Come, got in hero, you and
your uncle. I'll feed you, and you '
need never wander any more."
Half dizzy with joy, the dull, heavy
oyes of the maiden sparkled with de
light as sho whispered a few hasty
words to tho old man, who nodded
assent.
Two years later, Henry Charlton
mode his way, ono bright, frosty
morning, down to the milkyard, when
Delia Lester, now a symmetrical
beauty, was superintending the milk
ing. "Delia, I am tho little Henry who
used to play with you and your brother
Tom in Squire Johnson's hill orchard,
away down in Virginia. You have
never suspected that I was that Henry,
but Unole Jonas and I have talked the
matter over. I oven knew yon were
my own Delia two years ago, when I
brought yon here."
She blushed when ho said "my
Delia," but was too confused to speak.
He went on :
"Yoa know Tom used to play
preacher, and marry us beggar chil
dren. Delia, will you act your part
over again in real earnest?"
That was a year ago. Now little
Jacob Mildman Charlton sits in a nice
basket crib, and is watched and rocked
by good old Unole Jonas, and never is
a tramp turned away from that house
nnited.
Mrs. Delia Charlton pays frequent
visits to the Mildman Asylum, and all
the inmates seem to know her cheerful
step, while they are always bettor for
her coming. Saturday Night.
"Bnrlsal Ouug."
Travelers in passing through thft
delta of the Ganges, India, have occa
sionally heard dull, subdued sounds,
not nnlike the reverberation of dis
tant artillery. As these sounds havo
been heard when it was positively
known that no artillery praotioe was
being carried out, this mysterious
phenomenon, which is known as the
"Barisal guns, has given rise to much
curiosity and speculation. A similar
phenomenon occurs in two different
countries in Europe, regarding which,
in a letter upon the subject to Profes
sor G. H. Darwin, M. Van der Broeck,
conservator of tbe Museum of Natural
History, of Belgium, writes :
"I have constantly noticod these
sounds in the plain of Limburg since
1880, and my colloague of the geologi
cal survey, M. Rutot, has heard them
very frequently along tho Belgian
ooast, where our sailors call them
'mist pouffers, or fog dissipators.
"The keeper of the lighthouse at
Ostend has heard these noises for sev
eral years past ; they are known near
Boulogne, and the late M. Houzeau
speko of them to my friend M. Lan
caster. More than ten of my personal
acquaintances havo observed the fact.
"The detonations are dull and dis
tant, and are repeatod a dozen times
or more at irregular intervals. They
are usually heard in the daytime when
the sky is clear, and especially toward
evening after a very hot day. The
noise does not at all resemble artillory,
blasting in mines, or the growling of
distant thunder."
M, Van der Broeck attributes these
noises to "some peculiar discharge of
atmospherio eleotrioity." M. Butot
thinks they are "internal to the earth,"
and might be caused by "the shock
which the internal fluid mass might
givo to tho earth's crust."
Similar unexplained noises havo
been heard among the Dartmoor Hills,
England, and in Scotland.
A Bog lights a Bee.
A swarm of bees caused considorablb
exoitement among pedestrians over in
Jaraacia last Friday. It was a big
swarm and alighted in a big tree near
the Long Island Railroad depot. After
buzzing about for awhile they settled,
but a big bulldog, ownod by one of
the residents in tho neighborhood,
happened along, and one of the inno
cent honeymakurs, who was evidently
in a bad temper, flew into the canine's
direction and alighted on the brute's
back. A lively but short scene thou
followed. The way that dog jumped
and tumbled about the gronud as the
bee continued to sting made peopio
suppose that ho had gone mad. Tho
dog finally succeeded in locating the
troublesome insect, but the tussol had
made tho latter so furious that ho con
tinued to bite long after there was not
enough left for even a coroner to rco
ognizo. New York Recorder.
Credit to the Wrong Shooter,
Ex-Governor Flower wont down to
Creedmoor ono day to seo the boys
shoot. He was persuadod to try bis
own skill as a inurksiuun, and aimed
at the distant target. There was a
commotion m tho gravel fifty yards
away, but "bull's-eye I" was called.
The Governor tried again, and again
the flyiug gravel iu thu foreground
and the cry of "bull's-eye" iu the dis
tance. After a few such successes the
Governor handed tho rifle to a young
lu.ly and she fired, with the same re
sult, wheroupoa bomo one was heard
calling to tha man who examines the
targets: "What's tho mutter with
you? The Governor ain't tiring
new I" J udije.
a fifty mile slide
A CALIFORNIA WATER T0B03OAN '
THAT BEATS THE WORLD. I
Passengers In a V-Shnpcl Boat Make
tho Trip on a Trestle In About
l'"our Hours.
7T FRESNO (Col.) letter to the
Chioago Tribune says : What
vy would the peopio in the
T Northern States, who find'de
light in Coasting hills a quarter mile
long, or who go into ecstacy at shoot
ing down a toboggan slide, say to a
ride a la toboggan down a slide fifty
miles long? There are soveral places
in California where aiich an experi
ence may be had. The ride is not only
an uninterrupted constant slide for
fotty or fifty miles from start to fin
ish, but it is as thrilling, risky and
rapid as any one might wish. Think
of riding in small craft in a great
trough from thirty to 100 feet in tho
air from a lofty mountain crest down
through forest, across oanons, around
precipices and crags, over cattle
ranches, orohards and vineyards, aud
amid very pioturesque scenery 1 Con
sider the fascination of traveling in
four hours down a watery toboggan
slide from the snow-olad and icy peaks
of the tallest Sierras to a valley as
balmy as a May morning, and amid
vegetation as fresh and luxuriant as in
midsummer. Nowhere in the broad
world may such an experience be du
plicated. Flumes by which cut lumber or logs
may be floated from the forests
primeval and the sawmills on the
spurs of the Sierra Nevada range
down to the valley below are common
on this ooast from San Diego Ito 'Van
couver. They are built upon huge
trestles and vary in height from
ten to 100 feet, depending upon
the level of the country traversed.
All the flumes ore V-shaped,
and the water flowing through
is a yard deep at the deepest part.
When in operation the flume is gorged
for a week at a time with lumber,
whioh is fished out at the valley term
inus of the' flume and sorted and
piled ready for use. The longest
flume is in Northern California. It is
sixty-fonr miles long, and cost 8-130,-000
where lumber is cheap. A new
lumber flume was recently finished in
Fresno County. It leads from the im
mense pine forests on the mountains,
7000 feet above sea level, down to tha
San Joaquin Valley, at the little town
of Collis, near Fresno. In other words,
the flume starts amid the perpetual
snows and ice of the Sierra and term
inates amid raisin vineyards and ap
ricot orchards of the semitropio San
Joaquin. Stephenson Creek, in tho
mountains, supplies tho flume with
water.
The flume boats in which the rapid
journeys are made down the flumes
are simple. They are made the shape
of the V-boxes of the flumes. Tho
upper ends of the boats are closed by
a board nailed across, but left open to
lot out the water when it splashes over
the sides of the boats. Short boards
are laid across for seats, depending
npon how many porsons are to make
the journey. A carpenter can make
one of these boats in half an hour.
The boat is meant for only one jour
ney. None is ever hauled back for an
other voyage.
Half a dollar will buy enough lum
ber for tbe boat, and a man is a poor
carpenter indeed who cannot make his
own vessel The trip is mode with
little danger at Ioast in this Fresno
County flume. The prinoipal trouble
is that when once started there are
comparatively few places where one
can stop. The current is generally so
rapid that it makes landing impossi
ble, and the voyager can only sit still
and let tho boat run.
Fastidious Pike.
An Englishman is in straits beoanse
the young ducks are all being caught
and eaten in a loch at Pitgevcny,
Elgin. Ho writes to the London
Field :
"I am just broken-hearted beoauso
the pike aro eating all" my young
ducks. " We shoot them, catch them,
and kill them all tho year around by
fair means and foul, three or four
every day, and some have young
ducks in them. Iu one was a young
black headed gull, a young duck, and
the toes aud skull of another; in an
other were two small ducks and two
small coots. Thero are thousands of
young coots cn the locb, but the
brutes of pike prefer tho ducks."
Fish are notorious eaters of ducks,
and what is tho Englishman's misfor
tune has been tho luck of many a
fisherman for bass, pickerel and trout.
A live young bird tied to a hook, not
impalod, cast gently on a still water
of an Adirondack stream, has raised
mauy a trout "us big as hand saws,"
aud resulted in the death of a tew, but
the boys who used birds as bait aro
not usually skillful enough to land
the big ones. A small bird is as good
as a young field mouse for trout bait,
and that is saying a good deal, as any
woodsman will admit.
Ill-Used Horso Kills Himself.
Hundreds of employes in the yards
of the AuiericauStoel Barge Company,
at Superior, Wis., witnessed a singu
lar occurrence. A bony, played-out
old bay horse walked iuto the shallow
water iu the slip kuowu as Howard's
Pocket, aud tlowly moved father out
iuto the deep water, uumiudful of tho
shouts aud missiles of the spectators
ou tho shore. When iu ubout throe
feet of water tho poor animal cast ono
wistful look aiouud, then deliberately
put his head under water aud held it
there until liie was extinct. Ju a
short time after this the owner, a ped
dler, appeared upou the seeuo aud al
most committed ,suirilu himself w hen
he learned of the astonishing deed of
his four-footed servant. Tho lior.-,
it is sai J, bad beu poorly le I en I
overworked, Chita u Tims-.Uu'aid.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARB TOLD BY THE
FUNNT MEN OF THE PRESS,
Lost In the Shuffle In a Bicycle Shop
Ills Kxact State or Health Ihe
Instalment Plan, Etc., Etc.
Up from tho cradle came a wail,
At first n pensive coo,
Into a wolrii, vociferous wall
Of mournfulness it grew.
His sorrow, in a vein prolix,
Ho struggled to reveal,
"My fathor's talking polities;
And mothor rides n wheel.
They sny I'm cross, I'm simply sad
At belli? sllglitod o.
I wish tho baby-carriage fad
Could somehow get a show,
Bow can yon blame one in my fix
For setting up a squeal?
My father's talking polities.
And mother rides a wheel."
Washington Star.
rs a nicicLB shop.
"Where's your repair department?"
"What's the matter with your
wheel ?"
"Wheel's all right. Matter's with
me,"
HIS EXACT STATE OP HEALTH.
Mamma "Don't you feel well
enough to go to school?"
Bobbio "No, mamma; I just feel
well enough to ride my bicycle."
Harper's Bazar.
TAB INSTALMENT PLAN.
"Now, I'm engaged at last ; it took
Mr. Carrington threo nights to pro
pose." "Is he so bashful?"
"Not at all; ho stutters." Chicago
Record.
OVERSTOCKED.
"Is there much poetry sent in to
the editor?" the caller asked of the
office boy.
"Poetry?" replied that intelligent
young man. "The editor has poetry
to burn." Omaha Boe.
rrrr HIM.
Great drops of perspiration stood
on tho young man's brow.
"J havo it!" he exolairaed sudden
ly, as a way out of his perplexity
seemed to open before him.
"But not" he added despairingly a
moment later. "That will not do,
either I"
He rose and walked io tho window.
The gay, thoughtless multitudo
passing and repassing outside, intent
upon its own pleasures and oblivious
of the suffering, the headache and tho
desolation that blight so many human
lives, seemed morely to mock his mis
ery and deepen the gloom that per
vaded the apartment.
He turned away from the window
with a groan, threw himself into a
chair, learned wearily on the little
table in front of him, and buried his
face in his hands.
"I cannot ! Oh, I cannot I" ho mar
mured in a broken voice. "I givo it
up I"
lie was a campaign poot, trying to
find a rhyme for "McKinloy and
Uobart." Chicago Tribune.
now iia KNEW TIIE TIMS.
Patrick was lying in bed in a hos
pital. He had been brought in a fow
days before after a severe fall from tho
top story of a building on which he
had been working. With all his suf
fering ho never lost his cheorful
spirits, and livened up many of the
other patients with his bright remarks
and short stories. Tho doctor hap
pened along, and asked him how ho
felt,
"Fairly well, doctor; this right le,-;
of moine is a very ungrateful spalpeen
consitherin' that it wuz only broke in
wan place whin it moight have boen
smashed in a dozen."
"How did you fall, Patrick?" I
asked. "Did you lose your head?"
"Faith, no; sure it was me footin'
oi lost."
"What time did it hippen 1"
"Well, oi wuzn't so sure before I
fell, but I wuz thinkiu' comiu' down
thit it wuz near dinner hour, an' oi
wua convinoed of that same as oi
passed the second story, for oi saw the
people in there atiu' dinner." Har
per's Round Table.
MODEST REOTTEST.
"I don't ask you to remove your
hat, miss," plaintively spoke the little
man iu the seat behind her, "but if
you will kindly refrain from wabbling
your head I will take it as a favor. I
am used to tho high hat, but I am not
accustomed to the wabble, and it con
fuses me and obstructs my view of the
gentleman in the orohestra who per
forms on tbe kettle drum."
"Sir!"
"Thank you, miss, I don't mind Uie
high hat, but I oonfess the wabble did
bother me a little. Ever so much
obliged. I can see him quite distinctly
now." .
"Sir, I -"
"I beg you won't apologize, miss.
It was entirely iuadvertout ou your
part, I am sure, and "
"If you say another word I'll call
the usher."
"Bless you, miss, that will not bo
noccssary I I am acquainted with all
the ushers. Any of them would be
glad to oblige me by askiug the
gentleman who operates thu kettle
drum to move a little to tho right, so
as to give mo a better view of him,
but I can see him with perfect ease,
now, thanks tc your having quit "
"Usher I"
"I'll cull him for you, miss. Here,
Jerry I"
"X am entirely capable of calling
him, sir I lam going to atk him tJ
bring the mauager of the hall !"
"I assure you, miss, that will not be
necessary, either. The manager is my
sou-iu-law. He will merely instruct
tho usher to ah, thanks!"
For the young woman, trembling
with iudiguutiuu, had removed the
hut. Chicago Tribune.
CAIfOH SOHO.
Past laughing btook and pebbled stream.
That lenp from mead and maplo crest
Upon the wave's matcrnnl brenst
Where shadow-children lie and dream,
My paddle wakes, upon the lake's
Calm face, the phantom of a smilo
Thnt ripples back upon the track
My bark hath fallowed for a mile.
The paddlo keeps a rhythmic sweep
Where wntcr-ltllos lie asloep,
And reeds are bent with morrlmont
Upon the zephyr's tale intent.
By maple hollow, lane and wood.
And June's flofd-ilowor sisterhood.
Tho sun has set, and moon hath met"
The twilight's kisses manlfoldj
And in tho West the day doth rest
Ou purple pillows fringed with gold.
Past taporiug flrs, where stars seem swung
Like ghosts of fairy lanterns hung.
Charles Gordon Rogers, in Outing.
nUlIOR OF THE DAY.
ne "Miss Edgerton reminds mo of
a delicate piece of china." She
' 'Hand-painted ?" Detroit Free PresB.
Ella "Did Fred propose last
night?" Stella "I really don't know;
I fell asleep about 1 o'clock." Town
Topics.
"Did he look like a bicyclist?" "Oh,
dear, know; not in the least. Why,
he could stand up straight with iio
perceptible effort." Chicago Post.
"What a heap of style Jimmie Wat
son's wife throws on." "Ob, yes:
Jimmie started a bicycle repair shop
last week." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
When tho government runs the railroad
lines
And woman tno nffairs of state,
The trains that went nt 5 o'clock
She'll mark down to 4.68.
"Half a loaf is better than none,"
remarked the clerk, when he learned
he was to get only ono weok's vacation
instead of tha two he had counted up-
30.
Bacon "What's that tcrriblo noise
overhead?" Egbert "That's the man
iu tho flat upstairs trying to keep the
baby quiet so his wifo can got a littlo
ileep."
She "Is it not a love match. Both
are wealthy and their families have
arranged the marriage." He "I see ;
t golden wedding fifty years ahead of
time."
She "Do yon know anything worse
ban a man taking a kiss without ask
ing for it?" He"I do." "What,
for instance?" "Asking for it without
taking it."
Luoy "Mamma, may I go over
thore to the bridgo?" Mamma "Why
io you want to go ovor there, dear?"
Luoy "Oh, just to gargle my feet in
the brook."
Sho "Did you hear if it was any
improvement to Jennio See's health
linco sho began to tide a wheel ?" He
"I learn that sho is falling off rapid
ly." Buffalo Times.
It is not the propor thing to say
that a man will make a good husband.
It is the wife who makes the good hus
band. The bad ones ouly are the self
made article. Boston Transcript.
"Wo canuot find a place to go this
summer." "What's the trouble?"
"We want a summer resort from which
wo won't have to writo home that we
jlccp under blankots." Chicago Rec
ord. Hoax "I stood on ono foot all the
way home in a crowded car last night."
Joax "What was the matter with
your other foot?" Hoax "Another
man was Btaudiug on that." Philadel
phia Record.
Patrice "Tho other night, when we
were out with our bicycles, Houry said
he would kiss mo wheu we reached a
lonely spot." Patience "What did
you do soream?" "No, I FOorcUed,".,
Whim-AVhams.
Country Resident (to poddler)
"Got away out of hero now, or if yoa
dou't I'll whistle for the dog." Ped
dler "All right, Bir ; but first, won't
you allow me to sell you a good
whistle?" Tid-Bits.
Professor in English (to young man)
"flow would you punctuate the fol
lowing : 'The beautiful girl, for such
she was, was passing down the street.' "
Student "1 think, professor, I would
make a dush after that beautiful girl."
Woousocket Reporter.
Mamma "I dou't like tho idea of
that young Harris hanging aiouud
Jenny so muoh. Ho hasn't a cent ex
cept his little salary." Pupa "You
needn't worry. They, aro both too
busy talking about bicycles to have
any timo for lovo making." Indian
apolis Journal.
A gbntloman was assisting at a
bazar by reciting now and again dur
ing tho evening. Ho had recited onco
or twico, and tho peoplu were sitting
about dialling, wheu he heard one of
tho committee go up to the chairman
and whisper: "Hadn't Mr better
givo us another recitation now?"
Wberoupou the chairmuu replied:
"No, not yet; let them enjoy them
solves a bit longer." Tit-Bits.
An Iuiliau Present to Royalty.
Tho Indian prosent to the Duke and
Duchess of York, iu commemoration
of their marriage, has at last arrived
iu Loudon. It cousists of a uiaguiti
cent cuukct mouuted upon aud uphold
by four miniature ulephuuts. The
casket, which is of solid silver, is
thirty-one iuehes lon aud about
twenty-two iuehes wide and three feet
iu height. It is exquisitely embossed
and bears arms, views aud figures em
blematical of India. I'pou the lid is
uugruved tho following iuriptiou :
"l'reseuted to thoir royal and imperial
highnesses the Duku and Duchess of
York by the European and uativo
communities iu Calcutta and the
proviueu of Beugal, iu uoiuuicuoratiou
of their uuspicious marriage ou tho
Gtb of July, lb'j;t." The casket is ol
great weight, aud is regarded as a su
uoib spci-meu ol iaiiw Uvct aLv!