The Forest Republican
It pnblUked evory WaJns lay, by
J. E. WENK.
Office in Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building
ELM STREET, TIONESTA, TA.
l'wrai, - BI.IMI l'or Voar.
No subscription recelvad for a ahortor
period Hum throo month.
Correspondence sollelto 1 fro-n nil parts of
Itis country. No noilon will be token of
naouymoui ooiuuiunloatlons.
RATES OP ADVERTISING!
Ono Square, one inch, one inertlon..t 1 H
One Square, one inch, on? month. ., 8)
One Fqusre. one inch, ttire? months. . 5 i
One Square, one inch, ono year 10 (H
Two (Square, one year " "I
Quarter Column, one year 3 I oil
Half Column, one year .VMM)
One Column, one year 1 J") UU,
lecal advertisements ten cr.U per line
cofh insertion.
Mnrrines and death notices gratis.
All hills l'or yearly advertisem.mt collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements muut
be paM in advance.
Job work cash on delivery.
orest Republican
k
VOL. XXIX. NO. 5.
TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, MAY 20, 1890.
&1.00 PER ANNUM.
In Australia lh:ro nro 1,300,C,C0
pcoplo of Irish birth.
Tho CliinoHO nro now clniining Hint
they knew nil about tho X rays ages
ago.
Tho London Engineer notes the
growing favor in which tho Amorican
made flics nnd rasps aro hold in Eng
land, Professor Crocker, of Columbia Col
lege, says that tho talk of clectrionl
scienco being in its "infancy" is all
bosh. To day it is ono of tho most
exact of tho known seiences.
"Tho worst kind of bioyclo fneo is
tho long faco your oldest daughter
pnts on when sho has asked for a whocl
nud you have told her that yon can't
afford to buy her one," avers tho Bos
ton Globo.
John Swiuton, of tho Now York Sun,
roaontly declared that over every
American writer hangs tho fear of tho
editorial blno pencil, and that not un
til mon dnro to be tbcmsclvos and not
tho echoes of others can tho country
hope for a literaturo that will compare
favorably with that of England nnd
Frunoe.
Pr. Brown, of St. Louis, was walk
iug homo Into ono night when ho was
aocostod by a footpad. "Gimme your
money," said tho thiof. A, quick as
thought tho doctor turood and in an
oflendodtono said: "Whot nro yon
doing over here? Go on tho other
sido of tho ttrcet ; I'm working this
sido myself." With a muttered apology
for his brench of ctiqnotto tho would
bo robber vanished in tho darkness.
-
RichnYJ Atkinson, tho Inst of tho
"potwallopcre," hns just died at Pon
tcfrnct, England, at tho ngo of ninoty
foven. Tho potwallopcrs woro legis
lated out of existence by tho reform
net of 1832 J they wero tho men who
"boiled thoirown pot," that is, earned
their own living and wero not a charge
on tho parish, nnd who if they rcsidoJ
for six months in n borough, oither a)
householders or lodgers, wero entitled
to a voioo at rurliatncutary elections.
Tho Now York Department of Edu
cation lias Lit upon a pluu of circulat
ing useful books in nil tho school dis
tricts of the State, whioh has worked
well ill practice Smnll librarios,
pnekod in a suitablo case, are sent to
nny recognized toucher or school on
Application, a fee of $3 being charged
ftr fifty books and $5 for 100, cost of
transportation included. Out of 11,
000 books sent out last year only ono
was lout, aud that was, paid for. Very
few volumes liavo been damngod, al
though each library averages 290
readers.
William IX Ilowclls presided nt n
dinner given in Now York City to
Stephen Crane, tho young author
whoso reputation his become iuterna--tionalin
a few mouths. "Tho Bed
Badgo of Courago" was spoken of ro
ceutly ns having plucod its writer in
tho position of tho "Budyud Kipling
of the American Army." Yet Mr.
Crane tells us, adds the Sun, that he
got bis notions of warfare on the foot
ball field. He never saw a field of
battle. For tho matter of that neither
did Kiplicg. Tho best descriptions oj
carnage and bloody struggle bave boon
written by men who cvolvod thorn out
of their inner consciences. This was
bo with Beyle, Carlyle, Balzao. Tho
fact is that tho man who is on a bat
tlefield sees so littlo of what is going
on that if he wrote down bis actual
cxporioneos they would not be strik
ing or convincing. Even Tolstoy, in
bis moro effective work, described a
good deal more than what bo bad
actually experienced.
Says the Baltimore Herald: A novel
experiment is about to be tried in Chi
cago. In brief, it is the application
of the Hungarian zone system to
btrtet railway traffic, and tho realiza
tion of travel for a oent a mile. A
street railway company has been given
a charter and tho right to build lines
ovor certau-treets in Chicago. Tho
j-"""""" (o provido himself with
.ickets or pay cash, as may
tui. Tho first mile from the
wntown terminus costs ono cent,
and one oent extra is charged for each
additional inilo or fraction thereof.
In case a passenger boards a car at a
distance from tho terminus, nnd
atights before it reaches its destina
tion, be is charged ono oent a mile for
tho space over which be rides. Tho
advocates of Ibis plan argue that tho
rate thus established is equitable and
fair to all oonovmed. It is maintained
that such payment will bring in proper
venue to the companies, aud that
tho downtown passenger is not con
tinually paying for tho loug rides of
the suburban resideut. Tho plan bus
been effectually worked out in Eu
ropean cities, aud it is ready for adop
tion in America.
CNS AT A TIME.
Ono step nt n time, nml that well placed,
Wo roach the grandest height;
Ono stroko at a time, earth's hidden stores
Will slowly como to light;
Ono sood at n time, nrjd tho forest (trows,
Ono drop nt a tlmo, nnd tho rivor flows
Into tho boundless sea.
Ono word nt a tlmo, nnd tho greatest book
Is written nnd is rondi
Ono stono at a tlmo, and tho pulaco roars
Aloft Its plainly head;
Ono blow at a time, tho tro Vs cloft through,
And a city will stand whoro tho forest grew
A few short years before.
Ono foo at a tlmo, nnd ho subdued,
Aud n conflict will be. won;
Ono grain nt n tlmo, nnd tho sands of llfo
Will slowly nil bo run;
Ono minute, nnothor, tho hours fly by
Ono day nt a time, our llvo3 speed by
Into eternity.
Ouo grain of knowlodgo, nnd that woll stored,
Auolhcr, nnd moro on themt
And as tlmo rolls on, your mind will shtno
With many a gnrnorod gom
Of thought and wisdom. And thlno will toll
"Ouothlng nt a tlmo, nnd that well dono,"
Is wisdom's golden rule.
Bt. Louis Qlobo-Domocrut.
WINNIE.
A 8T011Y FOB GIRLS.
TIIIN a hundred
miles of my town
there lives a girl.
Her ngo is soino
wbero between
thirteen and nine
toe n years. Sho
isn't exactly pretty,
though she comes
very near being so
when she smiles;
neither is she ex
actly hoinoly when
sho isn't smiling.
thotigh none of her features nro classi
cal, tho is slightly freckled. She
docBu't dress in tho height of fashion,
nor, on tho other hand, does sho ever
look Bhabby or old fushioned, though
she docs somotimes wear mndo over
dresBcs, and trimmed over hnts. She
enn't really bo callod accomplished,
though sho can sing indifferently well,
play a very littlo on tho piano, and
write an interesting letter. In com
pany sho quite often cannot think of
auything to say, though when with
tho girls she is sometimes neoused of
talking too much, She isn't a brilliant
scholar, and she isn't by nny means a
dull one. In short, sbo is just a com
mon, every day kind of a girl, like
dozens you see every time you go
wbero are many girls to bo scon.
Pcrhnps I should not give tho im
pression thnt sho is exactly like other
girls, for sho does hnvo peculiar gift;
nud yet, after all, tho only peculiar
thing about it is that she chooses to
HBO it right along, whilo a good mnny
other girls nnd boys and grown peo
ple, for that matter though they
Lavo tho eamo gift, keep it lockod up
most of the timo, and uso it only on
vory particular occasions.
The only thing I can compare this
gift to, at tho moment, is a bit of tho
sun, und it might bo called a pocket
sunshino generator, though a pocket
is tho worst possiblo place for it.
To Bhow how useful this little gift
may bo made in cloudy weather is my
reason for introducing you to Winnie,
for that is tho name of this every day
kind of a girl Wiunio Smith.
Winnie's lifo has not been marked
by any startling events, and a certain
winter day, not long ago, will servo
my purpose as woll as another.
Sho rose, then, a littlo later than
usual that morning. It was cold in
bcr room, and she laughed to bear bor
tooth chatter together as -sho made a
quick toilet, and then ran down stairs
to breakfast.
Breakfast wasn't quite ready. The
baby was crying, his fists doubled np
and quite red in the faco; Mrs. Smith,
with an anxious brow, was trying to
pacify him, whilo Mr. Smith was re
reading tho last night's newspaper
with a moody expression of counte
nance. The instant Winnie appeared on tho
scene thero was a change, though all
sho said was "Good morning." Tho
baby stopped crying and hold out bis
arms to Winnie, who took him and
bogan talking to bim; Mrs. Smith's
brow beoaine tranquil as she rose to
finish setting the food on the table,
and Mr. Smith smiled over the top of
his newspaper. In less than five min
utes the baby was sitting in his high
chair pounding tho tray with bis two
littlo fists and crowiug, whilo tho rost
of the family was luughing at bis en
ergy aud good spirit as they ate their
break fast and cheerfully discussed
their plans for tho duy.
At about 8 o'clock Winnie started
to school, for there was nn errand to be
done on tho way at a bture. The girl
at the counter bud sat up nearly all
night nursing a siok brother, and
looked und felt cross as two sticks.
Before Winnie had fairly told her
errand the girl looked pleusuuter ; be
fore the parcel was done up she smiled,
and as Winnie disappeared through
tho door tho girl really looked as
though she thought tho world a very
nice place.
Aud all that Winnie bad done was
to make a fow pleasant remarks about
tho weuther aud prevent tho girl from
taking down a lot of unnecessary boxes
from tho shelves, because she saw the
girl was tired, aud to smile and nod a
goodby when she turned to go.
As Winnie came out of tho store she
caught sight of a littlo ragged boy sit
ting on tho curbstone. A largo tear
wus rolling down his grimy cheek and
he looked the pioture of woo. Wiunio
stopped and spoke to him, and qucs
tioued him, aud found out thut be was
cold, yes, and hungry.
"Dear me, this will never dot" said
Winnie. "Come with me, my little
man," aud she led him across the
strict into a grocery store. As ber
school was at a considerable distance
from bor homo, Winnio usually rode
in tho cars ono wny, and so she bad
just fivo cents with bor. With tho
11 vo cents sho bought a pufly mince
turnover and a shiny bun, and when
sho had asked tho storokoopor to let
tho boy sit bonido tho radiator while
bo ato thoso delicaoios, sho went on
bor way rcjoioiug.
Tho littlo boy gazed after her, his
cheeks distonded with pastry, and a
grin of perfect content on bis dirty
little faeo.
Tho storekeeper, too, who had boon
scolding bis chore-boy in a frightful
manner when Winnio opened the
door, now looked as mild as any
lamb, quite benevolent, in fact, and
the choro-boy was whistling softly to
himself as bo wiped tho dust from a
shelf.
Winnio walked briskly along, for
it wns getting near school time. A
good many of tho pooplo she met
glnnood at ber as they pasBod, and tho
giancs see mo J somehow to nave a
ohooring effcot upon them, for their
oyos brightoned, and thoy stopped
more quickly and bold their boads a
little higher.
When quite noar the sohoolhouso,
Winnio overtook one of bor class
mates. '.Chore was acloud on bis faoe,
but tho instant she spoke to bim it
disappeared, and be actually smiled
as bo tut nod toward ber, though the
tone of bis voice was still somewhat
lugubrious.
"Have you dono those two problems
in algobra?" be asked.
"No," laughed Winnie, "havo
you?"
"I sat np half tho night trying, and
I don't believe they can bo done,"
said tho boy, bitterly.
"Oh, yes," answered Winnio. "Will
Bailey told me last night that be had
dono ono of thorn, and 1 moan to go
at them in good earnnest as soon as I
get the history lesson oS my mind. I
think we can do them."
"Perhaps wo can," said tho boy,
more hopefully; and by the time they
reached tho schoolhonso steps he was
not only convinood that be could, but
resolved that bo would do them, and
was quite cheerful in consequence.
Winnie and tho boy were two sec
onds late, and Miss Miller frowned as
she beard their footsteps in the hall,
bnt whon sho saw W'nnio ber frown
faded out. Moreover, ns Winnie
walked to ber seat nearly every pair of
shoulders in tho room went down a
tritlc, as though bcr coming bad, in
some mysterious way, tcmperod the
prevailing frigidity.
Nothing of particular moment bap
pened during tho forenoon, unless it
was the falling ont of Nollio Paterson
and Julia Davis at recess. Thotr eyes
were Hashing, and they were making
the most ill nnturod remarks to eaoh
other, when Winnio chanoed their
way. I don't know whether she said
anything, or only looked in their eyes
till they conldn t help laughing, but I
do know that two minutes later Nollio
and Julia wero pacing tho hall, arm in
arm, and on best of terms.
Thoro were seven scholars who lived
so far away that they always brought
their dinners, excepting when they
torgot it, as did Annie and i rank (Jar
roll on this particular day. Winnie
spied them standing apart from tho
others, staring disconsolately out of a
window, and immediately divinod tho
troublo. Almost bofure you could say
"Jack Bobiuson" she bad gone to
them, and before you couid count
fifty the three were seated, with Win
nie's lunch basket in their midst, mak
ing merry over the shortness of their
commons. Then tho other four joinod
the group and divided tboir lunch
also ; and as the mothers of some of
them had been particularly bountiful
in the mattor of food that day, the
whole seven fared very well, and I
dare say ato all that was good for
them.
On tho way home from school at
night Winnio saw two boys, on the
lidowalk ahead of ber, slyly upset a
fruit stand, bohind which sat an old
Irish womun. A policemau who bad
come up unpercoived seized one of the
boys, the other took to bis heels, and
the old woman gesticulated and
Btormed with rage und 'righteous in
dignation. Winnio hastened her steps, and lay
ing bcr band on tho policeman's
sleeve, asked him very earnestly if be
wouldn't pleaso let tho boy go, just
long enough to help pick up the fruit,
which was rolling about tho sidewalk
and out into the street.
In an incredibly short timo, if you
bad been there, you would have seen
tho policeman walking serenely down
the street, a strange geutloman right
ing tho fruit stand, Wiunio and tho
two boys picking up apples, bananas
and peanuts, as if for a wager, whilo
tho old woman was luughing to see so
mnny working for her whilo sho sat
still, and saying, leniently, thut "b'ys"
would bo "b'ys," she supposed, as long
as tho "wurruld" held together.
When Winnio came withiu three
doors of her own door, sho saw the
telegraph messenger leave a mossugo
with Mrs. Aldeu. Mrs. Alden stood
in the doorway after reading it, with
a perplexed and troubled expression,
nnd glunced at Wiuuie as if sho had
half a mind to say something to ber.
"Is it bud news, Mrs. Alden?" ven
tured Wiuuie, sympathetically.
Then Mrs. Alden spoke quickly
enough. "Yes," she said, "my sibter
is ill, and I ought to go to ber on tho
very next car, but I let my girl go
away for tho afternoon and evening,
and father isn't feeliug well, and I
don't dure leave him alone "
"Why, I will come in and stay with
bim," said Wiuuie, heartily. "I'd
just as lief as not I'd like to."
"Would you?" said Mrs. Alden, tho
troubled look vnuisbiug. "1 should
be so much obliged."
"I'll run home and Jell mother, aud
bo back in a minute," said Wiunio,
hurrying along.
When she returned Mrs. Alden was
coming out of the gate, with bonnet
and cloak on. "1'uu won't have to
stay more than an hour," she said, ns
sho put on bcr gloves, "for Mr. Alden
vill como homo at G, and, giving
Winnie a few directions, she hastonod
away.
Old Mr. Alden was in one of bis
melancholy moods, and insisted, in
spito of Winnio's protestations, that
ho had outlived his usefulness; that
ho took no comfort in lifo, and was
only a burden and an expense ; that
everybody would bo better off and
bnppier if be was out of tho wny ; that
ho ought to have died years "before,
aud the Lord had surely forgotten
him.
Winnie know tho old gentloman was
fond of telling stories of his younger
days, and so, when thero caino a little
pnuso in his lamentations she artfully
led np to the subject of these same
younger days, and it was hardly any
timo nt nil before tho old man was
tolling, with great gusto, tho stoy of
a favorite horse ho had onca owned,
and Winnie was listening as interest
edly as though sho had not hoard al
ready the same story at least threo
times.
It was long in the tolling, and when
tho end was reached, and old Mr. Al
den was laughing in groat glee over
the climax, it was time to get his ton.
Winnie toasted bis bread and made
the tea by the sitting room fire. Then,
whon young Mr. Alden did not come,
old Mr. Aldon said Winnio must eat
something, so she toasted more bread,
and ate it while ho started a now story,
whioh she bad beard only once before.
This was a longer' ono, and it
branched oil into so many other stories
that it was almost 8 o'clock before it
was finished.
Just then young Mr. Aldon came.
Ho had been delayed, and was exceed
ingly tired and dispirited, having been
sorely tried by a foolish witness, and
lost his case for ho was a lawyer. Ho
had dreaded coming into his own houso
to see bis father's mournful visage and
hear bis querulous complainings.
When, therefore, ho found his father
fairly radiant with cheerfulness, with
a sm'iling-facod girl sitting beside him,
he sank into a chair and drew a deep
breath of relief.
When Winnie explained why she
was there, and rose to go, he rose also
to go with ber, though sho told bim
she wasn't tho least bit afraid. Indeed,
she would have preferred to go alone,
for young Mr. Alden was so polite and
dignified, and knew so vory much, that
she stood a good deal in awe of bim.
As they walked along she wished
she could think of 'something to say
to Lira. Tho stars woro shining, and
it suddenly occurred to bcr that sho
had forgotten the names of three very
bright stars that were always close to
gether in a lino, nnd so she asked bim
timidly about them.
Now, it'hnpponod that astronomy bad
always been a favorite study with
young Mr. Alden, and be not only an
swered Winnie's question gladly, but
stood for several minutes after they
had reached her gate, tolling bor about
the different constellations.
Thon he thanked her courteously
for staying with his father, bade ber
goodnight and went back, looking np
at the stars and fooling rested and re
freshed. Winnie tripped np tho walk and in
to the house, also thinking of the
stare.
After sho had a little talk with her
mother and gone to look adorningly
at tho baby sleeping in bis crib, Win
nio lit a lamp aud wont upstairs to her
room to bed.
So ended tho day for Winnio Smith,
and she foil asleop, never suspecting
that she had a gift, or dreaming that
she was othorwiso than a most ordin
ary oommon-pluco kind of a girl.
Tho Outlook.
A Lighted (un.
Tho shades of night are no longer a
protection to game from the powers
of the sportsman. An English Nim
rod has invonted a luminous sight for
use in a bad light. A tiny incandes
cent lamp, fed from u single storago
battery concealed in the gun stock, is
mounted within a shield at the muzzle
of the gun, nnd a faint my of light
calculated to indicate tho position of
its souroe, is exposed in tho direction
of the shooter's eyo, aud this is suf
ficient to enable bim to obtain tho
required alignment with the back
sight and with tho target, be it ani
mato or inanimate.
The special application of tho sight
is for game shooting at night and for
naval servico, such, for instance, as
the illumination of a machine gun
used against torpedo attacks during
the night. For tho latter purpose it
has been adopted in tho English navy.
New York Journal.
New 1. anils to Explore,
SirW. Martin Conway, of London,
who reminds tho world thut tho in
terior of tho muin islund of Spitzber
gen, off Norway, bus never been ex
plored, hopes to tuko a party next
summer to put un cud to this state of
things. Mr. Trevor-Buttyo and four
others will probably go with bim.
Tho island is peuetratod by fjords, uud
no part is more than twenty-live miles
from tho sei. Tua explorers will
therefore cross from fjord to fjord
with a light loud of provisions on Ice
land panics, revietualing at each fjord
from a steamer which must follow
them by sou.
A State's Odd Advuuliige.
"Tho Hancock stutuo will buvo ono
advantage over tho other equestrian
statues in this city," remarked uu
artist, who ha I just emerged from the
canvassed inolosuro where it is now
being assembled, "in that it wjll have
no recesses or other places in which
birds can build nests. 1'crsonully, I
enjoy seeing sparrows building their
spring nests in our equestrian statues,
but it is not regarded us urtibtie, and
the birdH will bo boycotted, us it were,
by this stutuo." Washington Star.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
8T0RTK3 THAT ARE TOLD BT THE
FUNNY MEN OP THE PRESS.
Valuable Fashions None Too Cor
dial Able-Hod led Sarcastic The
Long and the Short of Love, Ktc.
Ifo picked the bonnet up In haste,
Knowing he had no timo to waste:
Aud ran from store to homo a niilo
l'or fear It would go out of stylo.
Truth.
ABLE-BODIED.
"Ts Miss Angler nn athletic girl ?"
"Oh, yes; sho has thrown herself nt
the head of every raarringeablo man in
her neighborhood." Chicago Becord.
THB IiONQ AND THE 8TIORT OP LOVE,
"Love mo littlo, lovo mo long," sho
warbled.
"Yos," said ho. "But will you love
me when I am short?" Indiannpolis
Journal.
DISACIIIEEABLB.
Fnddy "What a man Gowdy isl
Nobody can get along with bim."
Dnddy "I belioro you. Even his
food don't agreo with bim." Boston
Transcript.
SARCASTIC.
Lady Customer (in china shop)
"Do yon break those sots?"
Dealer "No, madam; tho purchas
ers' servants usually attend to thut."
Tit-Bits.
CANDID.
She "Am I the first girl yon ever
proposed to, darling?"
He (sincerely) "No, but you are
tho only girl who evor accepted me."
Boston Transcript.
NONE TOO CORDIAL.
The Hostess "I suppose thero is
no use in asking you to stay to din
ner?" Tho Caller "Not in that way."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
BICTCLE PUNISHED.
Miss Wurrill "Hattio Scorcher run
on a taok yesterday."
Miss Wiol "Well, from what I
know of ber tomper, I suppose she
kicked her wheal, then, didn't she?"
Miss Wurrill "No; just blow it
np." Judge.
AN INSPIRATION.
Bcrtwhistle "Bontouby te rather
gay for a fellow learning to ride a
bicyole."
Dnsnap "Well, bo fools that his
fortune is made. Uo's invontod a
j pnoumatio tiro that will bold arnica
I for beginners." Puck.
HARMLESS.
Sho "Did you tell Fibs of our en
gagement?" He "Yes."
Sho (aggrieved) "Yon promised
that yon would say nothing about it."
Ho "It's perfectly safe with Fibs;
no one over bclievos bim." Washing
ton Times.
IM PERTINENT.
Ransom "Don't you think that
Spelding talks too much? I called at
bis house last evening, and for two
mortal hours ho talked, without my
being ablo to get in a word."
Millor "But you will pardon mo if
I do not see in your experience any
reason to think that Spelding talks too
much." Boston Transcript.
SURE TO BB EPKEfTTVE.
"Somotimos," said the merchant, "I
feel like the poet who wanted a lodgo
in come vast wilderness. I yearn for
solitude and silence."
"Woll," replied bis friend, sym
pathetically, "it's an expensive tasto
to gratify. But you might start in by
taking your advertisement out of tho
newbpaper j. " Washington Star.
AS IN THE BEUINNINd.
Railroad Manager "Here, Blobbs,
this new time-tablo won't do at all!"
Blobbs "I thought it very explicit,
sir."
Manager "That's just what's tho
matter. Tho first thing you know the
publio will bo ablo to uudorstuud a
time-tablo as well as we. See if you
can't complicato it a bit." Sun Fran
cisco Wave.
ALL THAT WAS NECESSARY.
"Dear me," said tho lovely lady,
potuluntly. "Thoso aro beautiful
verses you havo written about mo, but
it happens that my hair is dark brown,
instead of golden. "
"Haw I By Jove 1 So it is," said
the petted society poet. "Well, there
is only one thing to do. You must
bave your hair bleached." ludinu
axolis Journal.
HIS PRACTICAL E E.
"It'd too bud," remarked the ngont
for tho circus, "that they put thut
wooden expanse awny up there on the
roof of tho new postollice. "
"it seems like a fulso economy."
"Economy I It struck mo as a waste
of material. If they badu't put it awuy
up thero where nobody cau see it, it
would have been a splendid place to
post show bills." Washington Star.
BAR TO ATHLETIC Hl'l'ltEUACV.
Coach (to college athlete) "Your
muscles seem to bo Hubby uu I your
whole system needs tuning up. Aro
you drinking anything?"
Athlete "Not a drop."
Coach "Then you must bo smok
ing too much."
Athlete "No; don't smoke ut all."
Coach "Study iug?"
Athlete "Eryes-a littlo."
Coach (indignantly) "Vou'vo got
to stop that. Do you wuut to lute the
gums?" University Courier. 1
SCIENTIFIC AM) IXDUSTIMAL.
Photographs hnvo been taken of tho
sea COO foot below tho surface.
It is Paid thnt tho March of 18!)0 was
the coldest March in tho history of
tho woathcr bureau.
Thoro nro in tho Germnn Empire
to-day about 193 electric factories,
distributed in ICS localities.
Eloetrio powor is so cheap at Great
Falls, Montana, thnt nearly nil tho
machinery there is moved by it. ""
Tho largest spider known to ento
mologists makes its homo in tho most
hilly section of Ceylon. It spins a
hugo net of yellow silk sometimes ten
icct wide.
The frog deposits its eggs iu ehullow
water, whore tho warmth of tho suu
promotes speedy hatching. Tho com
mon sunko ofton selects a bed of do
composing vogetnble matter. The croc
odile nnd tho olumsy sea tortoiso go
nshoro to lay their eggs.
When tho common onr!h worm is
cut in two to tho tail thero grows a
head and to tho head thero grows a
tail, aud two animals aro formed. As
the wound heals a small white button
is formed, which afterward develops
into rings and a perfect extremity.
Dr. P. M. Johns, a San Francisco
scientist, who has been conducting a
serios of experiments with tho X rays,
declares that they aro not cathodo
rays, as has-been hold, but emauato
from the anode. Profossor Sanford,
of Stanford University, says that bo is
right.
Mine. Cavaignac, wife of tho Frcuch
War Minister, had a bit of a broken
needle in her hand which tho surgeons
could not find. She went to tho Ecolo
Centrale, bad tho handpicturod by tho
Roentgon rays showingthe needlo.took
tho pioture to a surgoon, nud bad tho
necdlo taken out.
An editor in Graz, Austria, had bis
skull photographed by Professor
Roentgen's process, bnt absolutely re
fused to havo tho pioture roproduoed
or shown to any but mon of science.
The effeot startled him so that it was
a long timo after he saw tho photo
graph before ho could sleop in peaco.
Tho duration of sunshino in tho
various countries of Europo was ro
oently discussed at a scientific meet
ing iu Berlin. It was shown that
Spain stands at tho bead of the list,
having on the average 3000 hours of
sunshino per year, whilo Italy has 2300
hours, Germany 1700 hours aud Eng
land 1100 hours.
Oil on Troubled Waters.
It is old-established fact that oil
spread on the surfaoo of water will
oalm the waves, and often buvo a ship ;
but it will bo u new idea to many that
soap-suds will have tho simo effect.
An English steamer was caught iu a
heavy storm on tho Atlantic, nnd be
ing without oil to use for this purpose,
tho captain conceived tho idea of util
izing a quantity of soap which bo
found among bis t tores. Tho soap
was dissolved in water, making a com
pound the consistency of gruel. This
was thing over the bows of tho boat,
and with startling results. Almost im
mediately the waves were calmed aud
the vossel rode in safety. A similar
experiment was tried on n French
steamer which was struck by a sqtinll.
The otlicer dissolved threo kilo
grammes of soap in scvonty liters of
water. This solution was allowed to
trickle over tho bow of tho boat, and
it so smoothed tho water that for a
space of about ten meters wide tho
waves gave thorn no disturbance, not
even breaking over tho sides ot tho
vossel. As an alternativo this discov
ery is an exceedingly valuable ouo.
Soap can bo compressed into small
space and a sufficient amount might
bo carried to insure comparative safe
ty to any vessel without occupying
any appreoiablo spaco. Lodger.
Romance of General (J rant's (jiraiiilson.
Algernon Sartoris, tho grandson of
General Grant aud the oldest child of
Nollio Grant Sartoris, is being educated
at Oxford. Ho camo to America last
summer to spend his vacation with bis
mother. At Nurragansett Pier ho was
much taken with a young society bud
noarly bis own ago. His mother would
not hear of marriago so early, and tho
lad of twenty yours went buck to Eng
land disconsolate, but hopeful. Not
long ago he reoeived discouraging
news. Ho became jealous ubout tho
attentions shown tho girl by society
mon, nud young S irtoris did not wait
for his mother's oonseut to leave
school, nor for remittances. Ho ha 1
money enough to pay his passage to
America, nud ho cuiue. Iu fact, it is
reported that he cauio in tho steerage
nud oouceuled bis identity. Ho up
penred on tho scene rather unex
pectedly, and a week or more of visit
ing southed his troubled spirit, und ho
went buck to school, where he is -now.
New Orlouus l'icayuuo.
Would Cause a Sensation.
"Thero nro sumo things that tho
patent ullice does, uu I thero uro some
some thiugs thut wo uro toj highly
educated to touch," observed uu olli
ciul of tho putout olUce. " few days
ugo tho ollloo received a letter from u
leadiug clergyman iu C'iueiunulti, in
which ho said: 'I urn uuxiuus tu buy u
bicycle for my daughter, but can nut
decide which of the mauy uiucliiucs
now un tho market is the best, l'lea-e
advise mo whut machine tho patent
ollico thinks isthobj.-t?" To answer
tho letter would huve caused a bigger
sensation than u proclamation by ttio
President declaring war with t!ii:u,
uud so wo simply said in reply that lie
could usoortuin lor himself by reu ling
the udvertisomcnts uf the various
machines in the newspapers. Yester
day eamo u further letter from the
writer, iu whioh ho biiid : 'I havo read
so much ou the bicycle question t lit 1
1 uiu nearly driven to dusjmir, but uu
to this writing I huve not boon ublj to
decide.'" Wusltiugtuu fctm
A SPRING SONG.
The irendow dreams nf violets a bird lo on
the wing,
And tho sunlight's streamin', droamiu' whora
the honeysuckles swint?;
Tho vines nre lookln' brighter ou the old
porch thero at home,
An' the cattle bells nro ringin' nn' w..ito
the daisies' foam.
No frost-flakes in the furrows, tho turf Is
warm nu' sweet
Listen listen, listen nn' you'll henr tho
world's heart bent;
With soft, cnresslu' fingers iu winter's locks
o' gray.
Tho spring hns oonxod lilmto n smilo nn'
kissed his gloom nway!
Frank L. Stanton.
llU-UOIt OK THE 1UY.
All tho world's a stage, but many
of tho actors aro couuting railroad
ties.
Tho easiest wny to provo that you
can not play tho violin, is to play it.
Puck.
Your plntonio friend is apt to get
real mad if you proposo to any ono
elso. Puck.
Nobody ever saw a woman nso a
hummer to tlrivo a tack when n flat
iron wns noar. Texas Sifter.
Nover tell your best friend any
thing that wouldn't look woll in big
sizodtypo in a newspaper. Atchison
Globo.
Ho "If thero is anything a woman
enjoys it is being a martyr." Sho
"Aud how willing some man is to holp
ber enjoy herself that way." Indiana
polis Journal.
Whon a man says that his wifo
should hnvo consulted him bofore
certain steps, ho means sho should
have givou bun a chance to objoet. '
Atchison Globe.
Miss Siunshum "I don't earo for
men ; in fact, I'vo nlroady said 'No' to
Bovon of them." Miss Comely "Iu
deed I What wero they selling?"
Adams Freeman.
"My family," said Miss Antiqno,
"camo ovor with tho Pilgrims on tho
Mayllower." "Did they really?" ex
claimed Hicks. "How vory interost
ingl And wero you seasick?" Har
per's Bazar.
Fendcrson "You say that mm is a
deaf mute nud that ho has nn impedi
ment in his speech. Fray, how cau
thut bo?" Fogg "Very easily. A
few months ngo ho lost two fingers by
a buzz saw." Boston Transcript.
Tenoher "This wicked King Henry
YI1I. then had his unfortunate Queen's
hoad cut off." Johnnie "I guess I
know why ho out her head off, teacher."
"Why, Johnnie?" " 'Cause hIio woro a
high hat 1" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Crematorium Official "Wo have
both tho Italian nud French systems
in vogno here; whioh would vou pie
for for tho Into lamented?" Widow
"The French, oh, decidedly Iho
French, as my poor husband (sobs)
could never tolerate Italian cooking."
(Both sob in unison.) Moonshine.
Mr. Do Stylo "Why, my dear, I'm
glad to seo you so composed. Whon
I loft this morning you were woeping
nud wailing nud teariug your hair bo
causo Fido was sick." Mrs. Do Stylo
"Well, ynu see, just alter you loft
Mrs. Tiptop camo iu uud told mo that
dogs of Fido's bleed wore going out
of fushiou." Now York Weekly.
l'lliiciitiiitr a t'luf,
Tho making of a muti oookiaFranoo
is a lengthy uud tedious process. Ac
cording to u celebrated French chef,
a young man when ho decides to pur
suo a culinary career, selects hU
nominal instructor, to whom ho pays
a mm equivalent to $'.
Tho aspirant is first ussignod to tho
vcgetublo cook, who tenches bim how
to preparo the raw materials. Wheu
he has mastered this ho isiuitiuted into
tho mystery of cooking them. This
thoroughly learned, ho studies the wny
of euttiug up ruw moats, of preparing
fish and how to stull, dress, truss uud
lard game nnd poultry. When he hue
learned this he is placed before the
range where ho receives instruction in
tho various processus of broiling, fry
ing, ruusting nnd baking.
Wheu ho graduutes from this do
partrieut ho passes uu lor tho coutrol
of tho second cook, who reveals to bim
tho mysteries of sauces and soups.
'Tho interest of this functionary iu hiu
pupil it is necessary to uccelerute with
liberal ami frequent tips. Tho student
is then put iu charge of tho pustry
cook, to whom ho servei a loug ap
prenticeship iu all that pertains to tho
coucoetiuu of itweots, pastries, ices uud
the liko. This completes his culinary
education, and ho is prcpurod to
assume tho rede of a competent cook.
Indiuuupulis Sentinel.
Cutehlug toll.
A grcnt deal of lung trouble, con
sumption an I throat dillionltiea nre
chargeable directly to the habit of
luughing and talking on going out
from heated uudienoe rooms. People
bit fur huur iu warm rooms, tli.m ...
out suddenly into tho cold nir. They
uro iu hi ;h spirits und naturally in
clined to chatter nu I laugh, often
LeenitlLr tills till flit- ft l.ilor iim.t Th..
suddi u reduoiiig of tho temperature of
the luugs by tlio enormous iuhnlation
of very cold air is productive o con
gestion und dulls, innumerable. It is
declurcd by a idivsioiuu who ban mu.Ie
Ubtudvilt this lillllieet I lief if i,.-. -l
could bo induced to keep their mouths
shut ou going out of heated rooms
into a cold atmosphere there would bo
fewer pnlimiuary uud throat troubles
nud fewer colds nud eon -hi. IV.i-.l.,
should grn.liiaily accustom their luugu
to tho cold, rarely bpcul.ii),; for tho
first few minutes of their ont-ot-door
triu. To tho tliou''litlos.i tin-. lonUa
ike u small matter, but ou it may dv
leinl health, hapoiinrj and lou r life.
New York Ledger.