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BPUBXJCAN.
VOL. XXVIII. NO. 50. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL i, 189(?t 81,00 PER ANNUM.
R
In mathematics and chemistry
Franoe load, the world at preient.
Speaker Reed pronounces it "Ar
kansaw," when he recognizes a Repre
sentative from that State.
The United States raise, more to
lacoo than any other country on the
globe. British India come, next, pro
duoing nearly at mnoh.
The largest deorease in the number
Jf death, from diphtheria last year
occurred where the serum oure wag
most generally adopted in New York
City. '
It is reported that the constant vi
bration, caused by the heary .toam
and traction car. in Paris, has oansed
great damage, especially to tall build
ings, and many of thom are in an un
safe condition.
South Carolina has passed bill,
which puts the life of any and every
log in the State at the merdy of any
porson who may catch it away from
tome. Dogs ofl their owner's property
may bo killed for committing any sort
of a "depredation, " and the killer is
judge and jury.
.
It is affirmed that a pooni offered in
a contest for a prize to the Chicago
Times-Herald, and whioh took the
prize, was a bold plagiarism from a
poem which was first printed in a Chi
cago paper more than twenty years
"go. The "author" was a twenty-year-old
girl of Indianapolis. .
Andrew Carnegie hasorousod British
wrath by saying that it would pay
England toborn upher railroad equip
ment and replace it with American
model?. Andrew is undoubtedly right
if conveniences and comlcrt of travel
are considered. "Every American
who is not an Anglo-maniac that has
ever tested their out-of-dute traotion
and tramway equipment will heartily
indorse Andrew, " adds the Atlanta
Constitution.
Gcnerul Travu:ing Agent Stcno, of
the Ocorgia Southern Railroad, told a
Goorgia roan recently that be had dis
covered an etectricul process for con
verting wood into stone. Ho could,
he said, petrify wood at a moment's
notice, aud he proposed to make a for
tune by converting the plank walks
common in Southern cities into atoue
pavements. He also snid that there
ought to be lots of money in turning
frame buildings into stone houses.
His statement was printed in some of
the newspapers, and now Mr. Stone is
kept busy telling his frionds that he
was only joking.
Dr. S. Weir Mitchell, in his address
at Rndclifle Colloge the other day,
said: "One of the requirements for
admission to collego should be a physi
cal examination, as it is at Amherst,
and during the eollege course the girls
should not bo nllowed to neglect gym
nastic work, since regularity of exer
cise is of the greatest importanoo. But
it is a mistake for women to think that
they can keep up to the standard of
work that meu set for themselves. It
is this disregard of their natural limi
tations which causes so many women
to break down. Two very important
results of a oollege training are the
cultivation of the power of quick per
ception und tho habit of using the
Euglish language carefully in every
day life. There should be a chair for
daily Euglish in every college. A
most doplorablo result of spending
four years in college would be to lose
ull interest in the world outaide of
books, nnd to let dressing the mind
keep you from giving care to d resting
tho body. Slay this never happen at
Eudcliffe."
Treasury official wero greatly sur
prised at tho carelessness of many
bond bidders, writes Walter Wellmau.
in tho Chijago Times-Herald. In ad
dition to tho 4610 bids received there
were several ecore of ollerings whioh
bad to be thrown out because the men
making them had neglected to sign
their uames or till in the amount they
were wilting to take or the price they
wished to bid. Most of these blun
ders were made by bankers aud busi
ness wen, and thoro were so many
tpxeimeus thut tho Treasury officials
who opeued tho bids were forced to
wouder if their correspondents had
not been laboriug under some excito
muut when they tiliod out their blanks.
One bidder, a Western banker, would
bo in a pretty fix if the Department
wero to accept his offer. Ho thought
ho was going to bo smart and so start
ed out to make bis bid for a million
read "ut the lowest price offered."
Hut by some curious mental lapse he
wrote "highest" instead of "lowest,"
und a greatly surprised aud cuibar
barrussed uiau he would bo if Secre
tin y liii lisle wore to ullot him tlis
Uiiiiim ttt liJ,
WHEN THE DAY IS DONE.
Darling, when the shadow, fall,
And the day Is done,
When the crimson yell Is drawn
O'er the sunken sun, .
Through the meadows, moist with dow,
Rwlft I hie away)
All my hours of pleasure oome
With the close of day.
As the perfumes from the flower.
Grow more sweet at night,
As the dewdrop. softer glow
In the pale moonlight.
Bo, the hours of oars all ramed
With the sunkan sua,
Joy oomos springing to my soul
When the day Is done.
For thy pleasant faa. I greet
And thy smile I see,
When across the dewy fluid.
I have ooms to theo;
When I hasten home, my love,
With the sinking sua,
All my sweetest pleasures come
When the day done.
-Daniel J. Djaahoa, in Boston Transsript.
LITTLE SQUIRE'S SCHOOL.
HE village, with
the school and
j everyinrag in it,
properly belonged
Zrw to the Squire ; but
1-J2! ftr'i nnnnla nulla,! K.
1 , - - I UVJ
school the little
Squire' school,
because no one
took suoh an in
terest in it a. did
tha littln Rnniro
Mb w i us i WB
Why, he would arrive at the school
every afternoon for weeks running
and leave his pony standing, with its
shaggy head halfway in the door,
while he took up his position beside
the teacher, and gravely regarded the
boys and girls.
"Well, Charley, how'a your sohool?"
tho Squire would ask, if he happened
to meet his son returning from the
village. "Coming on finely, eh?
Learning 'readin', writtin' and 'nth
metis, and sewinar into the bargain?"
And then the Squire would roar,
laughing; for he thought it a huge
joke tho interest the iittle Squire took
in the village school.
Even the schoolmaster, Mr. Finoh,
spoke of the sohool over whioh he had
presided for fifteen years as the little
Squire sohool. But many and many
a time the good man laid to himself:
"He's a fine, manly little fellow, the
little Squire; but I'm feared he'll be
spoiled. 'Tisn't more'n human nature
that lb little Squire should be spoiled,
with the Squire himself willing to run
at the lad's beok and call, almost, and
the children here at the sohool fairly
worshiping. A fine, fine lad ; bnt 'tis
a pity." The schoolmaster said all
this, however, before a certain occur
rence and its sequel down at the little
Squire's school.
This is how it was. The little 8qnire
stood as straight as a soldier in front
of a long line of boys and girls. He
hold a spelling book iu one hand and
a ruler in the other; the little Squire
was fond of slapping the book with the
rulor. Tho schoolmaster waa smiling
as he sat idle at his desk.
The little Squire turned baok the
leaves of the spelling book and gave
out the word "Bowll"
Seated at the head of the benoh,
with her eyes fastened upon the little
Squire, was a little flaxen-haired girl
wearing a queer, voluminous f rook and
a skimpy print apron. She waa an
odd-looking, eager little girl and she
spelled very quiokly "B-o-l-l."
"That isn't right," said the little
Squire- .-. ......
The little girl's faoe grew red and
white bv turns, a hriodit otttm AAma
into her blue eyes and she showed one
dimple in tier left cheek.
"Ann Elizabeth," called out Mr.
Finch, in a warning tone.
"Next," oried the little Squire.
"B-o-w-1, bowl," said the seojond
little pupil, emphatically.
"Go head," ordored the little
Squire. Then he looked at Ann Eliza
beth ; she was aotually muttering that
it wasn't fair.
"You're a very bad girl, Ann Eliza
beth," said tho lad. "1 think yon for
get who is teacher to-day."
Then Ann Elizabeth shooked every
one in the school. She burst into im
pudent laughter.
"You're a common girl, Ann Eliza
beth," oried the little Squire, energet
ically ; "aud I won't teach this class
any more till Mr. Finoh sees that you
mind your mauners."
And with that the lad tossed the
soellina: book across to the teaoher's
desk, darted out of the schoolhouso,
mouutotl his pony, looking uncon
cernedly into the room, and rode
away in high dudgeon.
"I'm astonibhed at you, Ann Eliza
beth," said Mr. Finoh, sternly. "X
was uuder the impression that you
were a well-behaved girl."
The spelling clots was for tlje most
part dumbfounded ; but still that dan
gerous dimple showed itsolf in Ann
Elizabeth's left oheek, and still her
eyes gleamed.
"I know I'm a oommon girl," said
t un Elizabeth, as she trudged home a
quarter of an hour after the other
children; "bnt I know it's worse to
call a person what they is than what
they isn't; and I know that word boll
was right. I'll be even yet with the
little Square. "
About a week later the little Squire
overtook Auu Elizabeth as she was
walking along the lane. He rode very
slowly as he came up to her, for he
wanted Ann Elizabeth to beg his por
tion ; ne wanted to give out some more
lessons at his sohool. Then the shaggy
little pony of its own aooord stood
still by the side of Ann Elizabeth.
The little Squire lifted his cap and
said "Good-nioruing."
Ann Elizabeth curtesied.
"i know I'm a common girl, Square
Charley," she said, suddenly.
Thereupon. tbe little Squire, will
1 I 1
is si
was really of a very generous nature
a&d who knew nothing of Ann Eliza
beth's dangerous dimple, cried out,
impetoonsly :
"Oh, I shouldn't have oalled you
that ; I'm very sorry that I called you
that. But I'm glad to hear you ac
knowledge you were wrong, Ann Eliz
abeth," he added, in a superior way;
for at times the little Squire was ex
ceeding pompous.
"The word you give out is spelled
two ways," said Ann Elizabeth, slowly
and distinctly, "b-o-l-l aud b'o-t l." .
"That may be, Ann Eliabeth," re"
turned the little Squire, determined
hot to lose his temper ; "but it was
bnly spelled one way iu the spelling
book."
"Then the spelling book's the dumb
est thing I ever heered of," cried Ann
Elizabeth.
v'That may be, Ann Elizabeth," ao
quiesood the littlo Squire; "but I
scarcely think you and I are called
upon to disouss the question."
He looked so very little Beated up
there upon his pony, and bis words
seemed so very big that for a moment
Ann Elizabeth almost gave up her
idea of getting even ; but she had been
head in the spelling class three months
all but two days, and her grandmoth
er had promised her a new calico
frock if she stood bead at the end of
the third month ; and although Ann
Elizabeth's frocks were voluminous
and came almost down to her heels
she was immensely proud of a new
one.
"I'm a oommon girl, I know that,"
repeated Ann Elizabeth; "and you're
a fine little gentleman, everybody
knows that, and I got a grandmother
and eo hey you."
She was looking over .the back of
the shaggy pony, far away from the
littlo Squire's honest eyes.
The little Squire was going to be an
gry, but he smiled instead.
"That's so, Ann Elizabeth," he said.
"I've got a grandmother, and so have
you."
"My grandmother," said Ann Eliz
abetb, looking wickedly into the won
dering face of the little Squire, "helps
with the baby and bakes pics and does
a turn most everywhere ; you can't go
by the house you don't hear her sing
in'. Onot your grandmother went a
pottorin' 'round at Farmer HatU
away's, workm' bard as anybody 'fore
she married the Square's father ; now
you keep hor lack she was a ohiny tea
pot or some'n ; dress her in silk, and
a'most set her in a chair. She do look
lack a ohiuy doll, sure 'nough, settin'
wishin the Lord'd teok ber. Little
Square, my grandmother pitios your
grandmother; hear that?"
The shaggy pony kept its feet plant
ed in the middle of the lano a. the
little Squire's indignant eyes followed
the figure of Ann Elizabeth going on
to his school.
The trees met overhead in the ave
nue up which the little Squire galloped
his pony. He had muttered "ohina
teapot" and "china doll" defiantly, be
fore he persuaded the pony to leave
that spot in the lane, aud his face was
ail time as he galloped up the avenue.
"China teapot I China doll, in
deed 1"
The little Squire was in an irritable
mood ai he mounted the hall steps.
Everything about him was elegant ai
he bad always remembered, large,
eomfortable and elegant ; and yet he
never for a moment doubted the words
Ann Elizabeth referring to his grand
mother "potterin' round at Farmer
Hathaway'." He entered the baok
parlor where he knew his grandmoth
er was sure to be ; but he did not speak
to her, he just went to tossing about
the papers on the center table. Be
ing angry with the common little girl
inado him angry with the whole world.
But never in his short life had the
little Squire remained angry for a long
time. All at once he raised his eyes
from the ssattered papers and re
garded his ' grandmother. She must
have seen him when he first oame in,
but she was not thinking of him now ;
she was sitting in her rooking chair at
the west window. No, he was not
angry, but Ann Elizabeth's words
were ringing in his ears : "Dress her
in silk and a'most set her in a chair,
She do look laok a ohiny doll sure
'nough." Was his grandmother sit
ting there wishing the Lord would
take ber? Then the little Squire hid
his faoe for a moment in his arms ; for
even as he had galloped furiously past
Auu Elizabeth's home he had heard
the useful old grandmother laughing
and siuging to the baby. And that
old grandmother pitied his grand
mother He walked softly aoross the
room and stooped and kissed the little
old lady, "You don't want to go Heav
en yet a while, do you, Grandmoth
er?" he asked, anxiously.
She started guiltily, her shrunken
little faoe flushing. "It's very nice
down here, Charley," she said, smooth
ing out her gown.
"Is it made of silk?" questioned the
boy, following the movement ol his
grandmother's hand.
"Yos, dear, it's made of silk fine
silk," she murmured.
"But you don't feel like like you
was a china doll, do you, Grandmoth
er?" "A china doll," repeated the old
la 1-, in a tremuloui tone "a chin
doll. Who says that, Charley?"
But tho littlo Squire hung his head.
He never intendqd to toll of Anna
Elizabeth.
As the day went by the lad did not
go again to the village school ; instead
he set diligently to watching his little
chiua doll graudu.otber ; for thut was
tho way she began always to appear
in his thoughts. He wondered )! ' it
would bo to grow old and sit sun ai
have nothing to do. iS.nne people, of
course, might like it, but not a person
who had once been busy, not a person
who had gone "pottoriu' round at
Farmer Hathaway's." ilia grandmoth
er urtd to tnko up her knitting ium-i-
viui:iily ; but s!in duln'c ciro for knit-
Uuii it oi'mpJ hvf &u$vt. Same-1
times this the little1 Squire hotloed
with great linking of bis heart the!
little grandmother sat at the western
window and cried softly to herself.
One day the little Squire kissed th
little old grandmother right where the
tears were settling on her cheek, and
cried out, in his impulsive way,
"Grandmother, did you use to like to
workf"
"Like to work, Charley?" she asked,
faintly, And then of a sudden the
little grandmother was quivering and
drying and laughing all at once, as she
tbld the little Squire abont her past
usefulness and; how She was wont td
"fly around the house." "And now,"
Bhe added, "I've nothing to do, noth
ing whatover to do, no more than if I
wasn't in the world. But it's all right ;
yes, of course it's all right," she went
on ; "I'm the Squire's mother, and I'm
proud and happy )" and then the poor
little grandmother, from something
she saw in the little Squire's big blue
eyes, hid her little, old-faoe in her
little, old, useless bands, and fell td
sobbing like a baby.
Ten minutes later the little Squire
knooked boldly at his father' study.
"Come in I" roared the Sqnire.
When the little Squire, thus hid
den, opened the door he fonnd his
mamma idling away the Squire' time
to the Squire's infinite satisfaction.
The lad walsed resolutely to his fath
er's desk, and determination iu hi
blue eyes, his lips pressed, together.
"I've just been with grandmother,"
he began ; "she isn't happy here. I
say, grandmother ought to be made
awfully happy, she's so little and she's
so good."
Thereupon the Squire was for rush
ing off to the baok parlor to find out
what was the matter i but his wife put
her hand on his and bad him ask the
little Squire to explain.
"Mother unhappy in my house?'1
fumed the Sqnire. "What do you
mean, Charley?"
"She's got to have something to do,"
said the littlo Squire, boldly. She and
I have got to take care of the parlors
or some'n ; she mustn't fit f till all day
any longer." Then the lad's bravery
deserted him, "It's true, Mother,"
he sobbed out, "my grandmother'
treated like she was a china doll, and
Ann Elizabeth's grandmother makes
the whole house chippy."
The Squire's mouth and eyes were
both open very wide. "Clean the
parlors I" he gasped. Mother would
n't like that; that's servant's work."
Then, us if he might solve the problem
in another way, he inquired, anxiously,
"Who's Ann Elizabeth?"
The little Squire's mother answered
for him, with a faint amilo. "She's
one of the children down at the little
Squire's school."
We'd just dust," said the little
Squire, perseveringly ; "I'd dust the
piano legs while Grandmother dust the
chairs.' Sally never half dusts, any
way. Aud Grandmother and 1 could
have a flower bed baok (of the parlor
windows; that wouldn't be servant's
work, Fathor." The little Sqnire al
most stuttered in his eagerness, while
the big Squire's amazement grew and
grew.
But the lad's mother bad her arms
about him. "The little Squire may be
right," she said softly ; "we must let
him do what he can to make Grand
mothor happy."
It was a happy day for the little.old
grandmother whon, enveloped in a
white apron, she dusted the center
table in the front partor. The little
Squire sat under the piano feasting
his eyes upon her before he vigorously
dusted the legs. And that flower bed
under the baok windows; why, from
the very beginning it brought the
laughter iuto Grandmother's little
wrinkled faoe.
The little Squire entered his school
very gravely one morning toward the
dose of the third term. It al
most seemed as if he had been
neglecting his duty; Le hadn't been
near there for over four weeks.
The common little girl hung
down her head when she saw him.
The littlo Squire had never told of
her, and she felt ashamel and repent
ant. The sohoolmaster smiled in
hearty weloome.
"I'd like to hear the spelling class,
Mr. Finoh, if you don't mind," said
the little Squire ; and the sohoolmas
ter smiled again aud held out the book.
"I'm going to skip about," said the
little Squire.
It was a long time before the little
Squire seleoted a place iu the spelling
book. Then he looked at Ann Eliza
beth, who stood at the head.
"Boll I" he said.
"B-o-w-1," answered Ann Elizabeth,
iu a low voice.
"There are two ways of spelling
that word," said the little Squire,
lookiug far away over Ann Elizabeth's
meek head; "I didn't know it the
other time; this word's spelled the
other way, but both ways are right.
If I'd know I wouldn't have tnado Ann
Elizabeth go down."
Then tho littlo Squire's eyes fell on
Ann Elizabeth, abject and miserable.
Uo saw the flaxen head bowed away
down over the bib of the tunny little
apron. He knew that Ann Elizabeth
was just as sorry as she could be.
But, somehow, the littlo Squire was
just as glad as he could be. "Ann
Elizabeth," he said, in a friendly
fashion, "you ought to see my grand
mother and me dusting the parlor
furniture; you ought to see us I And
we've started a flower bed ; we're
going to have every kind of flower.
You must coine up and see it some
times." Then, to the amazemeut of the spell
ing class, the little Squire held out
Uis aristocrutio hand to the common
littlo girl, as if she were a great lady
or somebody whom he rospocted very
much, aud Auu Elizabeth took it and
luughud buahful'v.
An I Mr. i'iucli looked ou affuotiou-
at.'ly Irotu LU e.s it ut the teacher's
dk down iu Umlit'l.; S juiie's ohou.
Tho IudepcuJvtu.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIfcS THAT ARB TOLD BT THE
FUNNT MEN OF THE PHE33.
An Advantage of the Sterner Sex
A Tale of Ad venture Keeps Right
On Two Wishes, Etc., Ktc.
Though a man has fourteen pockets,
And a woman has but om-,'
Be can fta through all of hisa
. While her search Is just begun!
A TALti Of ADVE-rrtflB,
"Hello, Billy, where' youf wife?"
''She's gone on a whaling expedi'
Hon up id the nurseri" Chicago)
Reoord.
KEEPS RIQHT OV.
Fasseneer (on the vestibule limited)
"Porter, does this train stop at
Dinkey ville?"
Potter "So, sab) she doan' even
hesitate dar, sah." Harper's Bnzar.
two WISHES.,
Mister "Oh, dear! I wish I could
get hold of some good biscuits like
mother used to make for me."
Missus "And I wish I could get
some good clothes like fntlier uted to
buy for me." Indianapolis Journal.
HAXDICiPTEO RIMSEtiP,
"You have the reputation of being
a shrewd business man," remarked
the friend of a young real estate
boomer.
"Yes," was the reply. "It's getting
so that when I offer a man a genuine
bargain he takes it for granted that I
am getting the best of him," Wash
ington Star.
BUB MISJUDGED RIM..
Mrs, Hardhead (glaneing over let
ters) "This young man who applies
for a situation has tho stamp on
crooked, and it's Upside down. Doesn't
that indicate he is lazy, careless and
perhaps cranky?"
Mr. Hardhead (an old business
man) "No, my dear, it indicates
that he is a hustler who wastes no
time on trifles." Pearson's Weekly.
MNEMONICS.
Professor A. "Would you believe
it, my dear colleague, I actually do
hot know the ages of my children !"
Professor B. "Such a thing could
never happen with me. I was born
2300 years after Socrates; my wife
1800 years after the death of Tiberius ;
our son Loo, 2000 years 'after the pro
mulgation of the Lioiuian laws by Ti
berius Sempronius Grauchus, and our
Amanda 1500 years after the com
mencement of the great Migration.
Very simple, is it not?" Zondnas
blad. TBEItB ABB OTHERS.
Mf. Citymon "I say, Mr. Meddurs,
the advent of the bicycle and the con
sequent decline of the horse must have
hurt you farmers considerably by cut
ting off the demand for one of your
ohief products."
Mr. Medders "What product is
that?"
Mr. Citymon "Why, it must be of
little use to raise oats now I"
Mr. Medders "Yes; that's sol Tho
bicycle has doue us on that ; but when
ono door shuts another always opens.
We raise the arnica plant now.
Puck.
A STOAKnB EXPERIENCE
First Department Official "I had
strange experience to-day very
strange."
Second Department Official--"YoU
look a if you'd seen a ghost. Come,
telf mo the story ; anything to relieve
tho monotony."
"Jt is not a ghost story."
"Well, well; out with it."
"A man came to me- to-day to ask
abont a matter which 1 couldn't refer
to any other department, and I actu
ally had to attend to it myself."
Sketch.
NOI DISPOSED TO QUlllULE.
While the two urchin, who had ad
journed to the alley in the rear of the
barn to tight were stripping for ac
tion, the larger one said :
"Kid, I'll lot ye off if ye'ro 'fraid. I
can lick ye iu two minutes. I'm teu
pouuds heavier'u you be."
"That's all right," responded tho
other. "If you'd wash the dirt off'n
that mug o' your'u we'd woigh 'bout
the same."
The right that immediately followed
was the fiercest one the neighborhood
had seen for many a day, and it is
with a melanoholy satisfaction the his
torian records the fact tbnt the smaller
boy whipped. Chicago Tribune.
WHY HE RAX.
Major McLaughlin put a new man
at work at his mino tho other day dry
ing out dynamite.
"Now," taiU he, by the way of ex
plauatiou, "you've got to keep your
eye on that thermometer in the heater.
If it gets above eighty-five, you're lia
ble to hear a noise around here. When
it reaches eighty-two degrees, you've
got just three minutes in which to
work, for it takes three minutes fcr it
to rise to eighty-five."
An hour later the Major returned to
see how the man at the heater was do
inf. AWell, how is it getting along?" he
inquired.
"Oh, first-rate."
"Do you watch that thermometer?"
"You bet your life I do, and I'm
keeping her down."
He reached iuto the heater, pulled
out the thermometer.
"Whew I Khe's up to eighty-four,"
he remarked. "There, that'll fix it 1"
Ho jammed the thermometer into a
bucket of cold water mul hung it back
n the heattr. Then lie wondered
rtlnit Mi'.Lnu;ruliu was (nuning fur..
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL, I
Scientists deotare that the cathode
light will penetrate steel half an inch
thick.
There are 2187 different varieties of
fire escapes and ladders to be used in .
emergencies. j
The Chioago Academy of Sclenoe.
proposes to dredge the rivers and
ponds of Cook County for snails.
Afghanistan is going ahead. The
Ameer has decided to light his capital j
oity by eleotricity, and run his fao
toriea with the same.
Scientists who have made a study of j
the eye say that a flat h of light lasting ,
40-l,000,000,000ths of a second is !
quite sufficient for distinot vision. i
A bottle with message and the date '
wo thrown into Boston Harbor July
27. On October 17 it was found on
the coast of a small island in the Car
ibbean Sea, 2500 miles away.
Among Dr. Donaldson Smith's dis
coveries in the region of Lake Ran
dolph is that of the existenoe of fifteen
new tribes of Africans one of them
dwarfs, none over five feet in height.
The Grand Jury at Chioago has in
dioted a man for obtaining money un
der false pretenses, who, it appears,
hypnotized his viotim, and while in
thisoondition made him give up $1900.
Professor A. C. Totten, of New
Haven, Conn., has issued a calendar
good for 67,713,250 years. It is said
to have a very simple key, and is
evolved on a oyolo of 1,800,000 years.
After abont a year's experiment
with an aluminum torpedo boat, the
French naval authorities have decided
the aluminum is unfit for shipbuild
ing, unless some non-corrosive alloy,
or enti-oorrosive paint can be discov
ered. Dr. Belle, a practicing physician of
Brandenburg, Germany, claims to havo J
oontriveu a puoiograpuio instrument
whioh will in minute details roproduce
the various colors of objects, persons
and landsoapes brought within a speci
fied range on the camera. Amerioan
soientiests are soeptical concerning
the reports of this procettt.
It is stated that diamonds beooina
phosphorescent in the dark after expo
sure to the sunlight or clectrio light,
and when rubbed on wool, cloth or
metal. This is an important proper
ty, as it enables the amateur to distin
guish between paste and real. This
property is not electric, as is clearly
shown by its being visible when the
gem is rubbod on metal.
There are as many laughs as there
are vowel?. Those who laugh on A
(the broad sound) laugh openly and
frankly. The laugh in E (short sound)
is appropriate to melancholy persons.
The I (as in maohino) is the habitual
laugh of timid, naive or irresolute
people. The O indioatos generosity
and hardihood. The person who
laughs in U is a miser aud a hypocrite.
The fifteenth aunual report of the
New York Stnto Board ol Health states
that the typhoid lever epidemic at
tributed to infeoled oysters which
were freshened in water contaminated
by soworage at Port Richmond, led to
a careful investigation by Dr. E. O.
Curtis. His opinion is that not ouly
typhoid fever, but cholera and dinr
rhoeal diseases may thus be transmit
ted. Spite fences.
Millionaire Crocker maintains a
fence twenty-five feet high on one side
of his pluce on Nob Hill, Sau Fran
cisco, fenoing off all the view from a
lot owned by tho estate of an under
taker named Yung. Yuug, who lived
thore at the time, didn't want to sell
his lot, but after the fence was put up
had to move his house, The fence
cost 82000.
Right in the middle of Gooro Vim
derbilt's princely domuiu in Abbeville,
N, C, an old colored man own) six
aores of land, whioh Vanderbiit fenced
in. The owner suys: "Vu.1, sun, I
been waitiu' 'steou yeahs fo' good
neighbohs, an' now I got one, I don'
move. No, sah I"
In Saoo, Me., two families are on
spite fenoe terms, and one of them has
ereoted an ugly barrier of brush to
darken the windows of the other.
A fence six feet high is jtut a fence.
Make it sixteen feet and it becomos a
spite fenoe. At twenty-six feet it is
just foolishness. New York Re
corder. Willlimnii, '
This is tho English name for tbe
shell beads used for ornament and as
ourrency among the northern tnboBof
Iudians previous to the settlement of
the country. They were made chiefly
ou Long Islnud aud arouud New York
Bay, and were of two kind, one made
of oouoh or periwinkle shells and the
other of hard clain shell . Tbe mak
ing of wampum, to bo sold for orna
ments, has been carried on for nearly
a hundred years by tbe Campbell fam
ily at Pascack, N. J., aud tbey are
now said to bo tbe ouly persons who
know how to bleach and soften the
conch shells usud iu inuking white
wampum or to drill boles through tho
still harder calm shells that are maJe
into the more valuable black or deep
purple wampum. Tbe couch nhelW
are brought from West Indian ports
by schooners. Tho clutu bbells are of
the largest size obtainable, tbo small
er oues being too thin for tbo pur
pose. Waste I Liiei't;)'.
Country Sum King owned a dock
which he wound daily for fifteen
year. A thort time a,'o Mr. King
aud all the members of his household
went away, and wero absei't from
home an entire week. When tbey re
turned Kiug noticed that the clock
was still running und concluded some
body hud been iu tho liotioe. Nothing
waa luifc.siu.L;, an I mi iuvebtinatiou
proved thut it was an tight-day in
stead of a oiuyauy clock. Atobisou
(KU.) Globe.
UNSPOKEN.
The moonlight loves the placid sea,
Yet pours Its heart out silently.
The voiceless sunflo-vern, one by on",
Uplift their faoes to the sun.
The snented south wind comes and gooi
In worldless worship of the rose.
And thus, dear heart, I love you, though
I'd die before I'd tell you so.
Albert B. Paine, In Harper. Weekly.
Hl'SIOR OF THE DAY.
That' a fine clock." "Ye; e
cuckoo." Yale Record.
A superfluous men is now known a;
third wheel to a bicycle.
Tbe silent partner is tho member
whose money talks for htm.
Ten to one, if the hen was a sweet
ginger she wouldn't loy so mony eggs.
West Union Gazette.
Before buying a dog, be snre it if
not so worthless that you can't give it
away. Atchison Globe.
Any man can give a good account
of himself ; bnt other people will not
always believe it. Puck.
Beggor "Hold on I This is a bad
quarter." Grymes "Well, you can
get rid of it as easily as I did." Puck.
Many a man gets the idea that fame- '
has her eye on him when she is only
gazing ovor his head at some ono else.
The woman whose sleeves will hard
ly allow her to pass through a door
way, can still go through her husband's
pockets at night. Truth.
There are some men who are willing
to admit that tbey can't sing, but
every one of them thinks he U a good
judge of human nature. Truth.
Mrs. Cobwigger "Now, Freddy,
if you're not a good boy, I'll seud you
to bed without any diuuer." Fxe'ddy
"Say, ma, what are we going to have
for dinner?" Truth.
Mother "Now, Willie, you'vo been
eating minoo pies till you've made
yourself ill. I shall have to send for
the doctor." Willie "I say, if you
are sending for the doctor may I have
another minoe pie? It won't make
any difference, you kuow." Moon
shine. Dismal Dawson "I see a fuuny
thing in the paper some dys sense.
It said that Queen Elizabeth always
wanted to run away when she teed a
sheriff' offioer." Everett Wrest "I
wonder ef it is possible that royal
blood flows in your veins?" Wash
ington Star.
Old Quiverful "Aud so you want
to take our daughter from us; you
want to take her from us suddeuly
without aword of warning?" Young
doslow "Not at all, sir. IF theie in
anything about her you want to warn
mo against, I'm willing to listen."
Washington Star.
"No," said tho man who picks up
bits of wisdom whenever he can, "I
never like to hear Blynkins start out
to show how all the indebtedness of
the couotry can be liquidated and
finanoial affairs put into shape at short
notioo." "Why not?" "He nearly
always winds up by borrowing $2 ou
his own account. " Washington Star.
Character In the Kuse.
The nose of Beethoven was largo,
thick and ill-shaped.
Mozart had a prominent, straight
nose, showing great force of char
acter. Goethe had a large Roman nose,
rather more bent than is usual iu that
type.
Caesar' nose was decidedly Roman,
and in Bize altogether out of propor
tion with bis other features.
Lord Brougham had a wonderfully
expressive nose, the tip of whioh was
almost constantly iu motion when his
Lordship was listening to an oppon
ent's speech in Parliament.
Paderewski has an almost Greoiau
nose, with a Blight curve of the bridge,
indicative of emotion rather thau phil
osophy. Mine. Patti has a delicately molded,
thin-nostriled, aggressive littlo uose,
indicating an artistic temperament,
combined with an impulsive, emotion
al nature.
Queen Victoria has tbo straight,
short, delicate nose characteristic of
her Stuart ancestors showing high
courage and resolution with a sensi
tiveness to honor and tenucity of cou
viction on all subjects. New York
Mail and Express.
A Itcninrkuble Natural Bridge,
One of the many natural woudurs of
Arizona sceuery jut made accessible
by the opening up of new rail and
stage roads is a remarkable natural
bridge, in tbe Tontu basiu, not far
from Flagstaff. Tho bridge is jD
feet loug and spans a cauou sotuo .00
feet deep, at tbe bottom of which llows
tbe river. Tbe bridge is of rock, atid
is perfectly proportioned. Tbe under
side is graoefully arched aud tbe upper
perfectly level. The walls of tbeeuuou
are houeycombed with caves, in which
are a great profusion of stulaclitod and
stalagmites.
Speak It Out L ud.
Pou'l sit d.iwu nu I wait for trade,
Tam'l lUu way.
(lot a uuMln, mako a tuw,
l'uh youi busittosrt -iiuiUh Vr p;
Dou'l sit down aud wait fertr.iJe,
' tattt't tltt. wa ,
Talu'i llio way.
If you've auyihiu: to so;'.
Toll It out.
Let your uoiKhff a yu're ''tly. 1
(M up "bui'Krtti"," dcu't tty ilif;
It you've anything to ll
T.'ll it ou',
TVll It o.it.
folks won't koow you il you iku't
Advertise.
Kwp iliiir,- iitovin' n.-ry day,
'l'ulk utjuut it, that's tli w.iv
fulls won't know you il V"' '
A.lwit.-,
Alveitiv
- i'rtuter a bt,