Tne Forest Republican la published every Wodnoslay, by J. E. WENK. Office in Smearbaugb & Co.'i Euililing ELM BTREKT, TIONE8TA, TK. Term, - 8 l.OO Xer Year. No subscriptions received (or a shorter period than three m on tin. Correspondence solMteJ from nil parts of the country. No notion will be taken of unonymous oominunloutions. RATES OF ADVERTISINGj One Square, on. inch, on. insertion. .t 1 0O On. Square, one Inch, one month. ., 8 00 Une Square, on. Inch, three timnths. . fi 00 One f-'quare, one Inch, one year 10 Two Square, one yeir IS Quarter Column, on. year Burin Half Column, one year fiO 00 One Column, one year 100 00 Legal advertisements ten cenU per line each insertion. Marriage, and death notices gmtta. A II bills for yearly ad vertiswivmU collated quarterly Temporary advertisement must be p.id in advauca. Job work asb on delivery. X TVTn T BPUBXJCAN. VOL. XXVIII. NO. 50. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL i, 189(?t 81,00 PER ANNUM. R In mathematics and chemistry Franoe load, the world at preient. Speaker Reed pronounces it "Ar kansaw," when he recognizes a Repre sentative from that State. The United States raise, more to lacoo than any other country on the globe. British India come, next, pro duoing nearly at mnoh. The largest deorease in the number Jf death, from diphtheria last year occurred where the serum oure wag most generally adopted in New York City. ' It is reported that the constant vi bration, caused by the heary .toam and traction car. in Paris, has oansed great damage, especially to tall build ings, and many of thom are in an un safe condition. South Carolina has passed bill, which puts the life of any and every log in the State at the merdy of any porson who may catch it away from tome. Dogs ofl their owner's property may bo killed for committing any sort of a "depredation, " and the killer is judge and jury. . It is affirmed that a pooni offered in a contest for a prize to the Chicago Times-Herald, and whioh took the prize, was a bold plagiarism from a poem which was first printed in a Chi cago paper more than twenty years "go. The "author" was a twenty-year-old girl of Indianapolis. . Andrew Carnegie hasorousod British wrath by saying that it would pay England toborn upher railroad equip ment and replace it with American model?. Andrew is undoubtedly right if conveniences and comlcrt of travel are considered. "Every American who is not an Anglo-maniac that has ever tested their out-of-dute traotion and tramway equipment will heartily indorse Andrew, " adds the Atlanta Constitution. Gcnerul Travu:ing Agent Stcno, of the Ocorgia Southern Railroad, told a Goorgia roan recently that be had dis covered an etectricul process for con verting wood into stone. Ho could, he said, petrify wood at a moment's notice, aud he proposed to make a for tune by converting the plank walks common in Southern cities into atoue pavements. He also snid that there ought to be lots of money in turning frame buildings into stone houses. His statement was printed in some of the newspapers, and now Mr. Stone is kept busy telling his frionds that he was only joking. Dr. S. Weir Mitchell, in his address at Rndclifle Colloge the other day, said: "One of the requirements for admission to collego should be a physi cal examination, as it is at Amherst, and during the eollege course the girls should not bo nllowed to neglect gym nastic work, since regularity of exer cise is of the greatest importanoo. But it is a mistake for women to think that they can keep up to the standard of work that meu set for themselves. It is this disregard of their natural limi tations which causes so many women to break down. Two very important results of a oollege training are the cultivation of the power of quick per ception und tho habit of using the Euglish language carefully in every day life. There should be a chair for daily Euglish in every college. A most doplorablo result of spending four years in college would be to lose ull interest in the world outaide of books, nnd to let dressing the mind keep you from giving care to d resting tho body. Slay this never happen at Eudcliffe." Treasury official wero greatly sur prised at tho carelessness of many bond bidders, writes Walter Wellmau. in tho Chijago Times-Herald. In ad dition to tho 4610 bids received there were several ecore of ollerings whioh bad to be thrown out because the men making them had neglected to sign their uames or till in the amount they were wilting to take or the price they wished to bid. Most of these blun ders were made by bankers aud busi ness wen, and thoro were so many tpxeimeus thut tho Treasury officials who opeued tho bids were forced to wouder if their correspondents had not been laboriug under some excito muut when they tiliod out their blanks. One bidder, a Western banker, would bo in a pretty fix if the Department wero to accept his offer. Ho thought ho was going to bo smart and so start ed out to make bis bid for a million read "ut the lowest price offered." Hut by some curious mental lapse he wrote "highest" instead of "lowest," und a greatly surprised aud cuibar barrussed uiau he would bo if Secre tin y liii lisle wore to ullot him tlis Uiiiiim ttt liJ, WHEN THE DAY IS DONE. Darling, when the shadow, fall, And the day Is done, When the crimson yell Is drawn O'er the sunken sun, . Through the meadows, moist with dow, Rwlft I hie away) All my hours of pleasure oome With the close of day. As the perfumes from the flower. Grow more sweet at night, As the dewdrop. softer glow In the pale moonlight. Bo, the hours of oars all ramed With the sunkan sua, Joy oomos springing to my soul When the day Is done. For thy pleasant faa. I greet And thy smile I see, When across the dewy fluid. I have ooms to theo; When I hasten home, my love, With the sinking sua, All my sweetest pleasures come When the day done. -Daniel J. Djaahoa, in Boston Transsript. LITTLE SQUIRE'S SCHOOL. HE village, with the school and j everyinrag in it, properly belonged Zrw to the Squire ; but 1-J2! ftr'i nnnnla nulla,! K. 1 , - - I UVJ school the little Squire' school, because no one took suoh an in terest in it a. did tha littln Rnniro Mb w i us i WB Why, he would arrive at the school every afternoon for weeks running and leave his pony standing, with its shaggy head halfway in the door, while he took up his position beside the teacher, and gravely regarded the boys and girls. "Well, Charley, how'a your sohool?" tho Squire would ask, if he happened to meet his son returning from the village. "Coming on finely, eh? Learning 'readin', writtin' and 'nth metis, and sewinar into the bargain?" And then the Squire would roar, laughing; for he thought it a huge joke tho interest the iittle Squire took in the village school. Even the schoolmaster, Mr. Finoh, spoke of the sohool over whioh he had presided for fifteen years as the little Squire sohool. But many and many a time the good man laid to himself: "He's a fine, manly little fellow, the little Squire; but I'm feared he'll be spoiled. 'Tisn't more'n human nature that lb little Squire should be spoiled, with the Squire himself willing to run at the lad's beok and call, almost, and the children here at the sohool fairly worshiping. A fine, fine lad ; bnt 'tis a pity." The schoolmaster said all this, however, before a certain occur rence and its sequel down at the little Squire's school. This is how it was. The little 8qnire stood as straight as a soldier in front of a long line of boys and girls. He hold a spelling book iu one hand and a ruler in the other; the little Squire was fond of slapping the book with the rulor. Tho schoolmaster waa smiling as he sat idle at his desk. The little Squire turned baok the leaves of the spelling book and gave out the word "Bowll" Seated at the head of the benoh, with her eyes fastened upon the little Squire, was a little flaxen-haired girl wearing a queer, voluminous f rook and a skimpy print apron. She waa an odd-looking, eager little girl and she spelled very quiokly "B-o-l-l." "That isn't right," said the little Squire- .-. ...... The little girl's faoe grew red and white bv turns, a hriodit otttm AAma into her blue eyes and she showed one dimple in tier left cheek. "Ann Elizabeth," called out Mr. Finch, in a warning tone. "Next," oried the little Squire. "B-o-w-1, bowl," said the seojond little pupil, emphatically. "Go head," ordored the little Squire. Then he looked at Ann Eliza beth ; she was aotually muttering that it wasn't fair. "You're a very bad girl, Ann Eliza beth," said tho lad. "1 think yon for get who is teacher to-day." Then Ann Elizabeth shooked every one in the school. She burst into im pudent laughter. "You're a common girl, Ann Eliza beth," oried the little Squire, energet ically ; "aud I won't teach this class any more till Mr. Finoh sees that you mind your mauners." And with that the lad tossed the soellina: book across to the teaoher's desk, darted out of the schoolhouso, mouutotl his pony, looking uncon cernedly into the room, and rode away in high dudgeon. "I'm astonibhed at you, Ann Eliza beth," said Mr. Finoh, sternly. "X was uuder the impression that you were a well-behaved girl." The spelling clots was for tlje most part dumbfounded ; but still that dan gerous dimple showed itsolf in Ann Elizabeth's left oheek, and still her eyes gleamed. "I know I'm a oommon girl," said t un Elizabeth, as she trudged home a quarter of an hour after the other children; "bnt I know it's worse to call a person what they is than what they isn't; and I know that word boll was right. I'll be even yet with the little Square. " About a week later the little Squire overtook Auu Elizabeth as she was walking along the lane. He rode very slowly as he came up to her, for he wanted Ann Elizabeth to beg his por tion ; ne wanted to give out some more lessons at his sohool. Then the shaggy little pony of its own aooord stood still by the side of Ann Elizabeth. The little Squire lifted his cap and said "Good-nioruing." Ann Elizabeth curtesied. "i know I'm a common girl, Square Charley," she said, suddenly. Thereupon. tbe little Squire, will 1 I 1 is si was really of a very generous nature a&d who knew nothing of Ann Eliza beth's dangerous dimple, cried out, impetoonsly : "Oh, I shouldn't have oalled you that ; I'm very sorry that I called you that. But I'm glad to hear you ac knowledge you were wrong, Ann Eliz abeth," he added, in a superior way; for at times the little Squire was ex ceeding pompous. "The word you give out is spelled two ways," said Ann Elizabeth, slowly and distinctly, "b-o-l-l aud b'o-t l." . "That may be, Ann Eliabeth," re" turned the little Squire, determined hot to lose his temper ; "but it was bnly spelled one way iu the spelling book." "Then the spelling book's the dumb est thing I ever heered of," cried Ann Elizabeth. v'That may be, Ann Elizabeth," ao quiesood the littlo Squire; "but I scarcely think you and I are called upon to disouss the question." He looked so very little Beated up there upon his pony, and bis words seemed so very big that for a moment Ann Elizabeth almost gave up her idea of getting even ; but she had been head in the spelling class three months all but two days, and her grandmoth er had promised her a new calico frock if she stood bead at the end of the third month ; and although Ann Elizabeth's frocks were voluminous and came almost down to her heels she was immensely proud of a new one. "I'm a oommon girl, I know that," repeated Ann Elizabeth; "and you're a fine little gentleman, everybody knows that, and I got a grandmother and eo hey you." She was looking over .the back of the shaggy pony, far away from the littlo Squire's honest eyes. The little Squire was going to be an gry, but he smiled instead. "That's so, Ann Elizabeth," he said. "I've got a grandmother, and so have you." "My grandmother," said Ann Eliz abetb, looking wickedly into the won dering face of the little Squire, "helps with the baby and bakes pics and does a turn most everywhere ; you can't go by the house you don't hear her sing in'. Onot your grandmother went a pottorin' 'round at Farmer HatU away's, workm' bard as anybody 'fore she married the Square's father ; now you keep hor lack she was a ohiny tea pot or some'n ; dress her in silk, and a'most set her in a chair. She do look lack a ohiuy doll, sure 'nough, settin' wishin the Lord'd teok ber. Little Square, my grandmother pitios your grandmother; hear that?" The shaggy pony kept its feet plant ed in the middle of the lano a. the little Squire's indignant eyes followed the figure of Ann Elizabeth going on to his school. The trees met overhead in the ave nue up which the little Squire galloped his pony. He had muttered "ohina teapot" and "china doll" defiantly, be fore he persuaded the pony to leave that spot in the lane, aud his face was ail time as he galloped up the avenue. "China teapot I China doll, in deed 1" The little Squire was in an irritable mood ai he mounted the hall steps. Everything about him was elegant ai he bad always remembered, large, eomfortable and elegant ; and yet he never for a moment doubted the words Ann Elizabeth referring to his grand mother "potterin' round at Farmer Hathaway'." He entered the baok parlor where he knew his grandmoth er was sure to be ; but he did not speak to her, he just went to tossing about the papers on the center table. Be ing angry with the common little girl inado him angry with the whole world. But never in his short life had the little Squire remained angry for a long time. All at once he raised his eyes from the ssattered papers and re garded his ' grandmother. She must have seen him when he first oame in, but she was not thinking of him now ; she was sitting in her rooking chair at the west window. No, he was not angry, but Ann Elizabeth's words were ringing in his ears : "Dress her in silk and a'most set her in a chair, She do look laok a ohiny doll sure 'nough." Was his grandmother sit ting there wishing the Lord would take ber? Then the little Squire hid his faoe for a moment in his arms ; for even as he had galloped furiously past Auu Elizabeth's home he had heard the useful old grandmother laughing and siuging to the baby. And that old grandmother pitied his grand mother He walked softly aoross the room and stooped and kissed the little old lady, "You don't want to go Heav en yet a while, do you, Grandmoth er?" he asked, anxiously. She started guiltily, her shrunken little faoe flushing. "It's very nice down here, Charley," she said, smooth ing out her gown. "Is it made of silk?" questioned the boy, following the movement ol his grandmother's hand. "Yos, dear, it's made of silk fine silk," she murmured. "But you don't feel like like you was a china doll, do you, Grandmoth er?" "A china doll," repeated the old la 1-, in a tremuloui tone "a chin doll. Who says that, Charley?" But tho littlo Squire hung his head. He never intendqd to toll of Anna Elizabeth. As the day went by the lad did not go again to the village school ; instead he set diligently to watching his little chiua doll graudu.otber ; for thut was tho way she began always to appear in his thoughts. He wondered )! ' it would bo to grow old and sit sun ai have nothing to do. iS.nne people, of course, might like it, but not a person who had once been busy, not a person who had gone "pottoriu' round at Farmer Hathaway's." ilia grandmoth er urtd to tnko up her knitting ium-i- viui:iily ; but s!in duln'c ciro for knit- Uuii it oi'mpJ hvf &u$vt. Same-1 times this the little1 Squire hotloed with great linking of bis heart the! little grandmother sat at the western window and cried softly to herself. One day the little Squire kissed th little old grandmother right where the tears were settling on her cheek, and cried out, in his impulsive way, "Grandmother, did you use to like to workf" "Like to work, Charley?" she asked, faintly, And then of a sudden the little grandmother was quivering and drying and laughing all at once, as she tbld the little Squire abont her past usefulness and; how She was wont td "fly around the house." "And now," Bhe added, "I've nothing to do, noth ing whatover to do, no more than if I wasn't in the world. But it's all right ; yes, of course it's all right," she went on ; "I'm the Squire's mother, and I'm proud and happy )" and then the poor little grandmother, from something she saw in the little Squire's big blue eyes, hid her little, old-faoe in her little, old, useless bands, and fell td sobbing like a baby. Ten minutes later the little Squire knooked boldly at his father' study. "Come in I" roared the Sqnire. When the little Squire, thus hid den, opened the door he fonnd his mamma idling away the Squire' time to the Squire's infinite satisfaction. The lad walsed resolutely to his fath er's desk, and determination iu hi blue eyes, his lips pressed, together. "I've just been with grandmother," he began ; "she isn't happy here. I say, grandmother ought to be made awfully happy, she's so little and she's so good." Thereupon the Squire was for rush ing off to the baok parlor to find out what was the matter i but his wife put her hand on his and bad him ask the little Squire to explain. "Mother unhappy in my house?'1 fumed the Sqnire. "What do you mean, Charley?" "She's got to have something to do," said the littlo Squire, boldly. She and I have got to take care of the parlors or some'n ; she mustn't fit f till all day any longer." Then the lad's bravery deserted him, "It's true, Mother," he sobbed out, "my grandmother' treated like she was a china doll, and Ann Elizabeth's grandmother makes the whole house chippy." The Squire's mouth and eyes were both open very wide. "Clean the parlors I" he gasped. Mother would n't like that; that's servant's work." Then, us if he might solve the problem in another way, he inquired, anxiously, "Who's Ann Elizabeth?" The little Squire's mother answered for him, with a faint amilo. "She's one of the children down at the little Squire's school." We'd just dust," said the little Squire, perseveringly ; "I'd dust the piano legs while Grandmother dust the chairs.' Sally never half dusts, any way. Aud Grandmother and 1 could have a flower bed baok (of the parlor windows; that wouldn't be servant's work, Fathor." The little Sqnire al most stuttered in his eagerness, while the big Squire's amazement grew and grew. But the lad's mother bad her arms about him. "The little Squire may be right," she said softly ; "we must let him do what he can to make Grand mothor happy." It was a happy day for the little.old grandmother whon, enveloped in a white apron, she dusted the center table in the front partor. The little Squire sat under the piano feasting his eyes upon her before he vigorously dusted the legs. And that flower bed under the baok windows; why, from the very beginning it brought the laughter iuto Grandmother's little wrinkled faoe. The little Squire entered his school very gravely one morning toward the dose of the third term. It al most seemed as if he had been neglecting his duty; Le hadn't been near there for over four weeks. The common little girl hung down her head when she saw him. The littlo Squire had never told of her, and she felt ashamel and repent ant. The sohoolmaster smiled in hearty weloome. "I'd like to hear the spelling class, Mr. Finoh, if you don't mind," said the little Squire ; and the sohoolmas ter smiled again aud held out the book. "I'm going to skip about," said the little Squire. It was a long time before the little Squire seleoted a place iu the spelling book. Then he looked at Ann Eliza beth, who stood at the head. "Boll I" he said. "B-o-w-1," answered Ann Elizabeth, iu a low voice. "There are two ways of spelling that word," said the little Squire, lookiug far away over Ann Elizabeth's meek head; "I didn't know it the other time; this word's spelled the other way, but both ways are right. If I'd know I wouldn't have tnado Ann Elizabeth go down." Then tho littlo Squire's eyes fell on Ann Elizabeth, abject and miserable. Uo saw the flaxen head bowed away down over the bib of the tunny little apron. He knew that Ann Elizabeth was just as sorry as she could be. But, somehow, the littlo Squire was just as glad as he could be. "Ann Elizabeth," he said, in a friendly fashion, "you ought to see my grand mother and me dusting the parlor furniture; you ought to see us I And we've started a flower bed ; we're going to have every kind of flower. You must coine up and see it some times." Then, to the amazemeut of the spell ing class, the little Squire held out Uis aristocrutio hand to the common littlo girl, as if she were a great lady or somebody whom he rospocted very much, aud Auu Elizabeth took it and luughud buahful'v. An I Mr. i'iucli looked ou affuotiou- at.'ly Irotu LU e.s it ut the teacher's dk down iu Umlit'l.; S juiie's ohou. Tho IudepcuJvtu. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIfcS THAT ARB TOLD BT THE FUNNT MEN OF THE PHE33. An Advantage of the Sterner Sex A Tale of Ad venture Keeps Right On Two Wishes, Etc., Ktc. Though a man has fourteen pockets, And a woman has but om-,' Be can fta through all of hisa . While her search Is just begun! A TALti Of ADVE-rrtflB, "Hello, Billy, where' youf wife?" ''She's gone on a whaling expedi' Hon up id the nurseri" Chicago) Reoord. KEEPS RIQHT OV. Fasseneer (on the vestibule limited) "Porter, does this train stop at Dinkey ville?" Potter "So, sab) she doan' even hesitate dar, sah." Harper's Bnzar. two WISHES., Mister "Oh, dear! I wish I could get hold of some good biscuits like mother used to make for me." Missus "And I wish I could get some good clothes like fntlier uted to buy for me." Indianapolis Journal. HAXDICiPTEO RIMSEtiP, "You have the reputation of being a shrewd business man," remarked the friend of a young real estate boomer. "Yes," was the reply. "It's getting so that when I offer a man a genuine bargain he takes it for granted that I am getting the best of him," Wash ington Star. BUB MISJUDGED RIM.. Mrs, Hardhead (glaneing over let ters) "This young man who applies for a situation has tho stamp on crooked, and it's Upside down. Doesn't that indicate he is lazy, careless and perhaps cranky?" Mr. Hardhead (an old business man) "No, my dear, it indicates that he is a hustler who wastes no time on trifles." Pearson's Weekly. MNEMONICS. Professor A. "Would you believe it, my dear colleague, I actually do hot know the ages of my children !" Professor B. "Such a thing could never happen with me. I was born 2300 years after Socrates; my wife 1800 years after the death of Tiberius ; our son Loo, 2000 years 'after the pro mulgation of the Lioiuian laws by Ti berius Sempronius Grauchus, and our Amanda 1500 years after the com mencement of the great Migration. Very simple, is it not?" Zondnas blad. TBEItB ABB OTHERS. Mf. Citymon "I say, Mr. Meddurs, the advent of the bicycle and the con sequent decline of the horse must have hurt you farmers considerably by cut ting off the demand for one of your ohief products." Mr. Medders "What product is that?" Mr. Citymon "Why, it must be of little use to raise oats now I" Mr. Medders "Yes; that's sol Tho bicycle has doue us on that ; but when ono door shuts another always opens. We raise the arnica plant now. Puck. A STOAKnB EXPERIENCE First Department Official "I had strange experience to-day very strange." Second Department Official--"YoU look a if you'd seen a ghost. Come, telf mo the story ; anything to relieve tho monotony." "Jt is not a ghost story." "Well, well; out with it." "A man came to me- to-day to ask abont a matter which 1 couldn't refer to any other department, and I actu ally had to attend to it myself." Sketch. NOI DISPOSED TO QUlllULE. While the two urchin, who had ad journed to the alley in the rear of the barn to tight were stripping for ac tion, the larger one said : "Kid, I'll lot ye off if ye'ro 'fraid. I can lick ye iu two minutes. I'm teu pouuds heavier'u you be." "That's all right," responded tho other. "If you'd wash the dirt off'n that mug o' your'u we'd woigh 'bout the same." The right that immediately followed was the fiercest one the neighborhood had seen for many a day, and it is with a melanoholy satisfaction the his torian records the fact tbnt the smaller boy whipped. Chicago Tribune. WHY HE RAX. Major McLaughlin put a new man at work at his mino tho other day dry ing out dynamite. "Now," taiU he, by the way of ex plauatiou, "you've got to keep your eye on that thermometer in the heater. If it gets above eighty-five, you're lia ble to hear a noise around here. When it reaches eighty-two degrees, you've got just three minutes in which to work, for it takes three minutes fcr it to rise to eighty-five." An hour later the Major returned to see how the man at the heater was do inf. AWell, how is it getting along?" he inquired. "Oh, first-rate." "Do you watch that thermometer?" "You bet your life I do, and I'm keeping her down." He reached iuto the heater, pulled out the thermometer. "Whew I Khe's up to eighty-four," he remarked. "There, that'll fix it 1" Ho jammed the thermometer into a bucket of cold water mul hung it back n the heattr. Then lie wondered rtlnit Mi'.Lnu;ruliu was (nuning fur.. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL, I Scientists deotare that the cathode light will penetrate steel half an inch thick. There are 2187 different varieties of fire escapes and ladders to be used in . emergencies. j The Chioago Academy of Sclenoe. proposes to dredge the rivers and ponds of Cook County for snails. Afghanistan is going ahead. The Ameer has decided to light his capital j oity by eleotricity, and run his fao toriea with the same. Scientists who have made a study of j the eye say that a flat h of light lasting , 40-l,000,000,000ths of a second is ! quite sufficient for distinot vision. i A bottle with message and the date ' wo thrown into Boston Harbor July 27. On October 17 it was found on the coast of a small island in the Car ibbean Sea, 2500 miles away. Among Dr. Donaldson Smith's dis coveries in the region of Lake Ran dolph is that of the existenoe of fifteen new tribes of Africans one of them dwarfs, none over five feet in height. The Grand Jury at Chioago has in dioted a man for obtaining money un der false pretenses, who, it appears, hypnotized his viotim, and while in thisoondition made him give up $1900. Professor A. C. Totten, of New Haven, Conn., has issued a calendar good for 67,713,250 years. It is said to have a very simple key, and is evolved on a oyolo of 1,800,000 years. After abont a year's experiment with an aluminum torpedo boat, the French naval authorities have decided the aluminum is unfit for shipbuild ing, unless some non-corrosive alloy, or enti-oorrosive paint can be discov ered. Dr. Belle, a practicing physician of Brandenburg, Germany, claims to havo J oontriveu a puoiograpuio instrument whioh will in minute details roproduce the various colors of objects, persons and landsoapes brought within a speci fied range on the camera. Amerioan soientiests are soeptical concerning the reports of this procettt. It is stated that diamonds beooina phosphorescent in the dark after expo sure to the sunlight or clectrio light, and when rubbed on wool, cloth or metal. This is an important proper ty, as it enables the amateur to distin guish between paste and real. This property is not electric, as is clearly shown by its being visible when the gem is rubbod on metal. There are as many laughs as there are vowel?. Those who laugh on A (the broad sound) laugh openly and frankly. The laugh in E (short sound) is appropriate to melancholy persons. The I (as in maohino) is the habitual laugh of timid, naive or irresolute people. The O indioatos generosity and hardihood. The person who laughs in U is a miser aud a hypocrite. The fifteenth aunual report of the New York Stnto Board ol Health states that the typhoid lever epidemic at tributed to infeoled oysters which were freshened in water contaminated by soworage at Port Richmond, led to a careful investigation by Dr. E. O. Curtis. His opinion is that not ouly typhoid fever, but cholera and dinr rhoeal diseases may thus be transmit ted. Spite fences. Millionaire Crocker maintains a fence twenty-five feet high on one side of his pluce on Nob Hill, Sau Fran cisco, fenoing off all the view from a lot owned by tho estate of an under taker named Yung. Yuug, who lived thore at the time, didn't want to sell his lot, but after the fence was put up had to move his house, The fence cost 82000. Right in the middle of Gooro Vim derbilt's princely domuiu in Abbeville, N, C, an old colored man own) six aores of land, whioh Vanderbiit fenced in. The owner suys: "Vu.1, sun, I been waitiu' 'steou yeahs fo' good neighbohs, an' now I got one, I don' move. No, sah I" In Saoo, Me., two families are on spite fenoe terms, and one of them has ereoted an ugly barrier of brush to darken the windows of the other. A fence six feet high is jtut a fence. Make it sixteen feet and it becomos a spite fenoe. At twenty-six feet it is just foolishness. New York Re corder. Willlimnii, ' This is tho English name for tbe shell beads used for ornament and as ourrency among the northern tnboBof Iudians previous to the settlement of the country. They were made chiefly ou Long Islnud aud arouud New York Bay, and were of two kind, one made of oouoh or periwinkle shells and the other of hard clain shell . Tbe mak ing of wampum, to bo sold for orna ments, has been carried on for nearly a hundred years by tbe Campbell fam ily at Pascack, N. J., aud tbey are now said to bo tbe ouly persons who know how to bleach and soften the conch shells usud iu inuking white wampum or to drill boles through tho still harder calm shells that are maJe into the more valuable black or deep purple wampum. Tbe couch nhelW are brought from West Indian ports by schooners. Tho clutu bbells are of the largest size obtainable, tbo small er oues being too thin for tbo pur pose. Waste I Liiei't;)'. Country Sum King owned a dock which he wound daily for fifteen year. A thort time a,'o Mr. King aud all the members of his household went away, and wero absei't from home an entire week. When tbey re turned Kiug noticed that the clock was still running und concluded some body hud been iu tho liotioe. Nothing waa luifc.siu.L;, an I mi iuvebtinatiou proved thut it was an tight-day in stead of a oiuyauy clock. Atobisou (KU.) Globe. UNSPOKEN. The moonlight loves the placid sea, Yet pours Its heart out silently. The voiceless sunflo-vern, one by on", Uplift their faoes to the sun. The snented south wind comes and gooi In worldless worship of the rose. And thus, dear heart, I love you, though I'd die before I'd tell you so. Albert B. Paine, In Harper. Weekly. Hl'SIOR OF THE DAY. That' a fine clock." "Ye; e cuckoo." Yale Record. A superfluous men is now known a; third wheel to a bicycle. Tbe silent partner is tho member whose money talks for htm. Ten to one, if the hen was a sweet ginger she wouldn't loy so mony eggs. West Union Gazette. Before buying a dog, be snre it if not so worthless that you can't give it away. Atchison Globe. Any man can give a good account of himself ; bnt other people will not always believe it. Puck. Beggor "Hold on I This is a bad quarter." Grymes "Well, you can get rid of it as easily as I did." Puck. Many a man gets the idea that fame- ' has her eye on him when she is only gazing ovor his head at some ono else. The woman whose sleeves will hard ly allow her to pass through a door way, can still go through her husband's pockets at night. Truth. There are some men who are willing to admit that tbey can't sing, but every one of them thinks he U a good judge of human nature. Truth. Mrs. Cobwigger "Now, Freddy, if you're not a good boy, I'll seud you to bed without any diuuer." Fxe'ddy "Say, ma, what are we going to have for dinner?" Truth. Mother "Now, Willie, you'vo been eating minoo pies till you've made yourself ill. I shall have to send for the doctor." Willie "I say, if you are sending for the doctor may I have another minoe pie? It won't make any difference, you kuow." Moon shine. Dismal Dawson "I see a fuuny thing in the paper some dys sense. It said that Queen Elizabeth always wanted to run away when she teed a sheriff' offioer." Everett Wrest "I wonder ef it is possible that royal blood flows in your veins?" Wash ington Star. Old Quiverful "Aud so you want to take our daughter from us; you want to take her from us suddeuly without aword of warning?" Young doslow "Not at all, sir. IF theie in anything about her you want to warn mo against, I'm willing to listen." Washington Star. "No," said tho man who picks up bits of wisdom whenever he can, "I never like to hear Blynkins start out to show how all the indebtedness of the couotry can be liquidated and finanoial affairs put into shape at short notioo." "Why not?" "He nearly always winds up by borrowing $2 ou his own account. " Washington Star. Character In the Kuse. The nose of Beethoven was largo, thick and ill-shaped. Mozart had a prominent, straight nose, showing great force of char acter. Goethe had a large Roman nose, rather more bent than is usual iu that type. Caesar' nose was decidedly Roman, and in Bize altogether out of propor tion with bis other features. Lord Brougham had a wonderfully expressive nose, the tip of whioh was almost constantly iu motion when his Lordship was listening to an oppon ent's speech in Parliament. Paderewski has an almost Greoiau nose, with a Blight curve of the bridge, indicative of emotion rather thau phil osophy. Mine. Patti has a delicately molded, thin-nostriled, aggressive littlo uose, indicating an artistic temperament, combined with an impulsive, emotion al nature. Queen Victoria has tbo straight, short, delicate nose characteristic of her Stuart ancestors showing high courage and resolution with a sensi tiveness to honor and tenucity of cou viction on all subjects. New York Mail and Express. A Itcninrkuble Natural Bridge, One of the many natural woudurs of Arizona sceuery jut made accessible by the opening up of new rail and stage roads is a remarkable natural bridge, in tbe Tontu basiu, not far from Flagstaff. Tho bridge is jD feet loug and spans a cauou sotuo .00 feet deep, at tbe bottom of which llows tbe river. Tbe bridge is of rock, atid is perfectly proportioned. Tbe under side is graoefully arched aud tbe upper perfectly level. The walls of tbeeuuou are houeycombed with caves, in which are a great profusion of stulaclitod and stalagmites. Speak It Out L ud. Pou'l sit d.iwu nu I wait for trade, Tam'l lUu way. (lot a uuMln, mako a tuw, l'uh youi busittosrt -iiuiUh Vr p; Dou'l sit down aud wait fertr.iJe, ' tattt't tltt. wa , Talu'i llio way. If you've auyihiu: to so;'. Toll It out. Let your uoiKhff a yu're ''tly. 1 (M up "bui'Krtti"," dcu't tty ilif; It you've anything to ll T.'ll it ou', TVll It o.it. folks won't koow you il you iku't Advertise. Kwp iliiir,- iitovin' n.-ry day, 'l'ulk utjuut it, that's tli w.iv fulls won't know you il V"' ' A.lwit.-, Alveitiv - i'rtuter a bt,