iThe Forest Republican
Ii publlshod ovory Wodnos.luy, by
J. E. WENK.
Office in Smearbaufjh & Co.'t Building
ELM BTHEET, TIONESTA, PA.
Tcrmi, - dl.iMil'cr Yimr,
No milMrrlpllom rnmlvod for a shorter
period than throe months.
Correspondence sollolto I from nil parts of
tho country. No notion will bo tnkeu of
nuonymous coniinuuioullouj.
RATIS Of ADVEHTISINOl '
On Bqaar, on I Ball, n Inawiioa. .1 II
On Bquw, on loon, on month. . ,4 00)
On Bqiiv, on inoh, throe month. .
On Hqu.ro, on Inch, on ;r, .. 10 M
Two hquirn, dm 7r 1800
Quu-tir Column, ont ;r WOO
Half Column, on ;tr . . . . ,-r 80 00
On Column, on. jiif,. 1000
LCi odTM-tlMtrunU to eat pr ttM
Bch InMrtion.
MrrlK and dotk ootloM (ratta.
All bill, for farl; drrtlnn.nl aoOanM
quarterly. Temporary sdTertawmtnts BMOt
b paid la adranoa.
Job work win oa daHrary. . ,'
Pore
PUBLICAN.
VOL. XXVIII. NO. 20. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 4, 1895. S1.00 PER ANNUM.
m4 W , , , V
General Sohofleld wants the United
Btntes Army increased to 100,000
men.
In some of tho Pacifio Const States
a horso is nut worth to much as a
shoo) dog.
William Carrol, of Brooklyn, who
hns 107 years' expericnoo of tho world's
affairs, says thut it is steadily growing
bitter.
With tho exception of Belgium,
whoto debt bus boou iucurrod for in
ternal improvements, every European
Nntiouul debt in in great part a war
debt. -
Tho New York Mail and Express re
marks: "It is a hopeful sign whou
more than 1,000,000 industrial work
ers receive nn advance of wagon aver
aging about ton per cent., during the
first half of tho year 1815. And tho
figures aro official."
A proininout physician thinks.il
nmaziiig to seo so many people travel
ing for their health with a rapidity
thut suggests they havo boon shot out
of a gun. Ho thinks it rather remark
nblo thut so few of them kill thorn
selves iu trying to get well.
Tho first practical attempt to ruisa
journalism to tho height of a learned,
acknowledged profession in Germany
is being made at Heidelberg Univer
sity, whero Professor Adolph Koch,
tho hiNtoiian, is delivering a series of
lectures on tho history of journalism
and of tho press.
Tho capitul employed in bunking in
tho principal couutries is as follows:
Great Britain, $1,020,000,000 ; United
States, 12,055,000,000; Germany, $1,
425,000.000; France, 81,025,000,000;
Austria, SHIJ.OO'J.OOO; Riuwia, $775,
000,000; Italy, 8l55.000.00j; Aus
tralia, Sli5.009.00J; Canada, $175,
000,000. Tho Atlanta Constitution obscrvos:
Tho new directory of St. I'uul gives
ttint oily a population of 190,000,
whereupon tho Miuncapolituns ex
claim : "Ch, wait till you hear from out
directory man. He's not slow. Ho will
ri e to thooccusion. W ith these rival
cities it it a question of which direc
tory comes out lust, or, as Colonel
Curler, of Western Texas, used to say :
"I liko to heur tho other fellow lio
lirbt. I then know jiibt how fur I must
go to annihilate him."
How many of tho pooplo who uso
the "pumphuudlo" handshake know
its origin? asks tho Pathfinder. A
Westerner hit the idea of its disooin
fort whou ho said it was "icr oil tho
world liko shakia' paws over a barbed
wiro fence." Tho truth of tho matter
is that it wus originated by the Prince
of Widen when "that august person
ngu" was Buffering from a boil under
tho urui, necessitating tho awkward
movement. Doesn't Shakespeare say,
"New custom?, though they be never
so ridiculous, nay, let thorn bo Human
ly, yet ore followod."
Speaking of the harvest outlook,
the New York Herald says thut winter
wheut fured very ba lly, but tho loss is
considerably repaired by spring wheat,
tho average condition of which is
102.2, and for ull whent tho ovorage
condition is 70.2 figures which indi
cate that tho total wheat yield will bo
over 100,000,000 bushels, from three
fourths to four-fifths of au averago
harvest. Tho averago condition of
corn is 119.3, and the acreage 107.8, ns
compared with tho area plantod in
1804. Tho largest oorn crop over pro
duced in tLo United States was 2,060,
000 bushels, iu 1891. But if the
present estimates of tho Depart men t
of Agriculturo prove to be correct tho
corn crop of 1895 will break oven this
record.
Tho New York Lodger maintains
that the secret of China's downfall is
in her insulation, which has lasted for
thousands of years, and strongly re
pelled all exterior influences. She
marked timo while tho West marched
past, and her rude uwakouiug has
come from Western forces via Japan;
that is tboexaot truth of the situation.
Perhaps the agonies she has endured
in the Into war may be the birth-throes
of a nobler National oxistcnoe for
China. Certainly, if the rulors were
not so blind, there is not a more
patient, quiet, enduring inau than the
Chinaman, and unpopular though it
may be to say so, wo believe that the
last word has not yet been spoken,
nor the hst gun fired, in the struggle
for Asiatic supremacy. The Jap is
the Frennhman of Asia; theChinamau
is the German. Germauy knew tho
bitterness of Jena, aud saw Napoloou
enter Berlin. But she also kuew how
to wait, and Sedan followed on Ber
lin. History has always repeated
itself. If China really awakes, she
ill be heard pf in an h terobsive ttjl
THE OLD CHURCH BELL.
lligfi up o'er tho hea ls of tlio people
That pass liko vnguo shl oa tlio street,
It hangs In lis bourn In tho steeple,
That throbs with tho wind's rhythmic boat;
What hoods It Iho world or Its noises '
What rocks It of traffic's loud din?
Of tears, or tho clamor of volcn.i
Thatspoak of tho Unlit hearts within?
Enough that Its duty is ringing
la every condition of weather,
Enough thnt Its mission is bringing
Tho spiritual household together;
Enough that It strike for tho hours
That spood in a no'er-ending chain,
And chimes over nuptial flowers,
And tolls for tho funeral train.
Enough that it speaks to tho mothers
In clear, unmistakable tones,
And fathers and slstors aud brothers,
From all tho earth's populous zones;
Enough that It brings to tho altar
Tim otios who hnvo strayed from the truth,
As well as tho weak ones who falter
'Mid trials unknowu ia thoir youth.
Bo there, while tho pale stars aro marching,
And rivers roll ou to the soa,
And heavon's blue vault is o'er-arahlng,
The boll In lis bolfry will bo;
Vud then, when its mission is ended;
Aud turned Is the last burial sod,
ttsoohoMsfull-tonod will bo blended
With trumpets that call us to God.
-Alfred E. Hostulloy, In Now York Obsorvor.
AN ANNIVERSARY.
DAIR SELKIRK
ar.d I were quietly
married in the dear
little churchof our
native village, and
as Aduir had al
ready secured em
ployment in a dis
tant town of so mo
importuuee, wolett
shortly after the
ceremony for our
future home.
We socured board
in a private
family, and lived in this way until the
birth of our baby boy, who camo to
gladden our hearts ton months before
the opening of my story.
Soon after this important event
wo rented a oosey little cottage in the
suburbs of town, and after securing
tho service of my old black "Maniraie,"
settled down in an humble establish
ment of our own.
We had lived thus about six months,
wheu the third anniversary of our
manage rolled around. Wo decided
to celebrato tho occasion by inviting
Adair's best friend, Oscar Davenport,
and his wifo (who had bcon a school
mate of my own), togetbor with our
minister aud his wife, to a 5 o'clock
dinuor ; after which wo antipipated a
delightful cvoning together.
Old Mammio und I were in a flutter
of excitement over tho prospects of
giving our first entertainment, aud wo
spared no pains in arranging to havo
everything served iu our best possible
stylo. In order thut this might be
done I engaged the services of a waiter
from one of tho hotels, and be wus to
present himself at the cottage at noon.
The morning of the third dawned
cloudy aud cold. A thick mist filled
tho nir aud th j clouds threatened a
heavy rain before noon. As I kissed
Aduir goodby at 8 I had many fore
bodings of a sad termination to my
anticipated day's pleasure.
Just as tho clock struck 12 the door
bell rang, and us Mammio left tho ico
cream freezer to answer it she said,
with a nigh of relief: "Well, dot
wuitcr's on time, aud l'a pow'ful glud
ou it, 'ouzo turuin' dis hero crank ain't
no easy job, -1 tell you. Uo sho' is
welcome."
Iu a f 3W minutes sho returned, fol
lowod by tho boy James, aud handed
mo a note which had just been left by
a servant from the reotory. On open
ing it I read as follows :
"Dkak Fhiend Mr. Clarke was
taken sick suddenly iu the night.
Eurly this morning I called in our
physieiau, who pronouuoed his case
to bo more serious than wo at first
supposed. He will require careful
nursing for several days, bo it will be
impossible for us to be with you to
night. We send our beat wishes for a
pleasant eveuiug aud for mauy happy
returns of this day. Your friend,
"An.nib Clarke."
Just then the raia came down in a
etoady putter, and with a sigh which
gavo expression to my disappoint
ment, I went over to the window aud
stood gazing out into tho gloomy
street.
"Come, now, Miss Cressie, honey,
dou't be a Mulgiu' iu no sich sor'ful
thought. J 1st turn youf miuo baok
fer three years, and thiuk uv how
happy you was dut night as you wont
rr ridin' up to do chu'oh do'. Mars
'Duro'Jl bo here presently, and ef'u do
Oompauy don't come he aud do buby'U
he here, aud we'll 'joy our own selves
jist as much us ef'll doy ull had boeu
hero."
1 saw much wisdom iu Mammiu's
remarks, and immediately resolved
that I would not allow tho disappoint
ment to oust a shadow over tho third
anniversary of my wedding day, und
began a romp with buby, who sat tied
in his high ohair by the table amusing
himself with the big kitchen spoon.
Thus some time passed pleasantly
away, when James auuounoed that the
table was ready for my inspection.
The afternoon wus now fur ad
vanced, and after changing my dress
I seated myself in the little parlor,
with buby asleep in my arms, anx
iously awaiting my husband's return,
as I knew be would make every effort
to get off from, the offioe at an earlier
hour than usual. Presently tho wel
come sound of his footsteps greeted
my ears, and toon he stood beside me.
"Isn't it too bad," 1 said as I tucked
baby away on the sofa, "that 1 we
should have such a miserable evening
lor our flrst effort t fcospiUlity
f 1
"It is, indeed, my little wife, but it
is just ns well so a greater disap
pointment is yet in storo for you. I
havo received instructions from Mr.
Benedict to meet his partner in tho
city to-night on important business for
tho firm. In order to catch tho train
I must leave you in halt an hour. Dav
enport is to accompany me ; therefore
you need not expect him or his wife."
I felt on the vergo of a flood of
tears, and my faco must have given
expression to my feelings, for my hus
band drew me close within his Brms
and said : "Don't give way to those
feclingp, but liston to mo. I havo
somo good news to tell you. Tho
property I owned in Marvillo has at
lust found n purchaser, and as real es
tate has gone up thero I received for
it $3000 in cash. Tho money camo to
mo by express this evening, and as I
had uo time tc go back to tho bank, I
must trust it to your care for the
night."
So saying, he placed the package in
my hands.
"I shall bo in tho city only a few
hours," ho contiuuod,"and will return
by the night express, so you may look
for mo about 2 o'clock in the morning.
Don't make up your mind to be mis
erable whilo I'm gone, butretiro early
and sleep well, aud dream pleasant
dreams about how yon will spend some
of the money you have there."
Ho was soon gone, and I watohed him
until ho was out of sight ; thou turn
ing from tho window, I threw myself
into a large armchair before the fire,
and did just what Aduir had told me
not to do burst into a flood of tears.
After indulging myself in this fern
iuiuo weakness for about twenty min
utes I felt equal to the task of break
ing the news of great disappointment
to Mammio. When I had told her of
Adair's return aud departure.her phil
osophical turn of mind caused her to
remark : "Well, houey, man ho 'posos,
aud God Ho desposes I Sbo'ly dey
ain't no telliu' what a da.v'll briug
forth ! Hero we is done been er work
in all day fer what? Jist to teach
you a lesson iu pachunce 1 and dat yon
musn't set yor heart on nufiin' in dis
life ! Well ! et'n we wnnts to git these
things put away 'fore dark, we'd bet
ter git about it. Jemos you kin jist
fold up do table linen, and put up do
silver, and I'll tend to puttin' up de
vittlos."
It took us but a short time to undo
tho work which hud occupied us .all
three since noon and after having
paid James and dismissed him, I re
turned to tho parlor whero baby still
lay sleeping.
As the rain was still fulling in tor
rents, I resolved to remain down stairs
uutil Mammio had finishod her night's
work and would be ablo to accompany
mo up ttaira. I have never been a
timid woman ; but that night, as I sat
alone listening to tho wind whistle
about the house corners and driving
tho ruiu drops furiously against the
shutters, a feeling of great uneasiness
took possession of me a strango fore
boding of approaching evil.
In vaiu did I endeavor to shako it
oil'. When Mammio came iu we made
u tour of inspection to sco that the
house was securely fastened, and then
wo ascended the stairs to my own
arpartmonts. Thanks to Maniuiie, a
bright tiro was burning in tho grate,
and wheu the lamps were lighted baby
opened wido his eyes and announced
his intention of keeping awake. At
any other timo I should havo been im
patient at his obstinate wakefulness,
but to-night I gave him nil tho en
couragement ho needed. Whilo baby
and I engaged iu a great romp, Mam
mio nodded to us from her seat iu the
corner. It wus twelve o'clook aud
still baby seemed not to grow tired.
Iu leaning forward to place him on
the carpet before me, I distinctly
heard a uoiso iu tho direction of tho
bed. Turning my eyes thut way I es
pied a foot protruding from under the
mosquito bur that foil iu folds to tho
floor.
My breath nlmost left mo. I felt
myself grow weak aud faint, but sotn
lnouing ull tho courago iu my nature
I went ou plavmi with buby. I
thought of tho J l'JlH) which my hus
band had given iuo, aud I felt sure
that if uny one hud overheard our
conversation at the time ho gave the
money, that person also kuew thut
Adair expected to reach homo at 2.
It was then nearly 12, aud the robber
would soon grow impatient with wait
ing, come out from his place of con
cealment and demand of mo the money,
and, perhaps, murder us all. Some
thing must be done, und done quick
ly. After turuiug over iu my mind
many plans of oscupo from our hidden
enemy, 1 decided upon this scheme :
"Mam'uie," I said, "1 heur a uoiso
downstairs ut the kitheii window. I
beliovo somo one is tryiug to break
iuto tho house. Wako up get tho
caudle, an 1 we'll frightem them off.
Hero is Adair's pistol ; you take baby
aud give mo the caudle. I am not
afraid. Now follow mo but wait 1 I
have $'3000 about me that Aduir lolt
in my keeping, aud I must couceal it
iu this room for fear of acoidout. I'll
just put it ou tho shelf iu tho closet
here until we return."
So saying I opened tho closet door
aud pretended to hide away the pack
age. Coming out, 1 closed the door
tightly, aud, followed by Mummie,
went nut into the hall, closing my
bedroom door behind me. 1 then
hurriedly whispered to Mammio what
I had seen, aud bade her take the cau
dle and go ou down stairs with bihy,
who fctill kept up his chutter. I took
a stand at the door and listened uutil
1 heard the closet door hastily open ;
stealthily I turned the bolt ot the
chamber dooi, rushed toward I hu
closet, slammed and looked the iVi r,
ut the buino timo culling to Mammio to
return.
As the closet hud been fitted up for
tho reception of our silver, given to
us us wedding presents, I knew the
lock was strong ; aud as the burglar
had. be?!) 6urpti;el hy i ( u'jyut. Uw
no tools that would enable him to ef
fect hi escape. Therefore I armod
myself with Adair's pistol, and Mam
mio and baby and I kept watch over
my prisouor until wo wore relieved at
12 o'clock by the arrival of my hus
band. Going out into the street, ho sum
moned a policeman. The burglar was
brought out handcuffed and carried
away.
I was not st rpriscd to recognize tho
waiter Jumos. New Orleaas Times
Democrat. Brought to Light.
At a general election in Euglaud, a
candidate personally unknown to tho
voters of a certain borough was asked
by party loaders to stand for it. Uo
belonged to a good family, aud wan a
barrister of promise iu London. His
path to success was open, as tho
borough belonged to his party. But
when he mounted the platform to
address tho electors, after a sentence
or two ho snddedly became palo and
confused, his eyes fixed on a board op
posite ou which was scrawled with
charooal, "Forty pounds!" Ho
stumbled through a short speech, and
then hurriedly left the stand.
A few days later he rose to speak in
another towu, and again the myster
ious words written in black on tho
wall confronted him. Again he left
tho platform, and that night retired
from the contest for the seat in Parlia
ment. Not long afterward he disap
peared from pnblio life, and retired to
an Euglish colony where he hid him
self on a ranch. The words, it was
found, referred to a theft committed
in his youth, which he supposed had
been forgotten.
Aloxis Piron, the French poet and
satirist, sought for many years to ob
tain a seat among the Forty Immortals
iu the French Academy. He was rec
ognized among the poets of his day,
and was confident of his ultimate ad
mission, when a vile odo, written wheu
ho was a boy, was brought to light,
and ho knew that tho door of tho
Academy was closed iu his face for
ever. In both of the great political parties
of this country there have been in
stances of men eminent iu mental abil
ity, who have failed toreooive thb high
political honor?, because of tho
shadow of some fault or folly of thoir
earlier days.
Behind all the happiness of life, be
hind even God's love, there is such a
thing as luw. "Who breaks it always
pays the penalty." God may forgive
him, but tho lines ou his face, tho
taint iu his soul, remain to tell of tho
vice of his early dayi Youth's Com
panion. Metal Workers of Asia.
Among tho half civilizod peoplos of
Central Asia aro many artistic workers
in metals. Ono of theso Natious or
tribes, the Burutos, is famous for in
laid work. Tho Russians cull theso
workmen "Bratskaya Robata." Thoy
use gold, tin and silver for iulaid work
ou iron. The art has boon practiced
by thorn for thousands of years, aud
their skill has been recorded in tho
ancient folk songs of Asia. A writer
describing their work sty they ham
mer tho silver, gold or tiu very thin.
Then the part of tho object to bo iu
laid is made rough with a hammer,
the surface of which is roughouo.l liko
n tile. Templets of birch burk servo
to cut tho metal into tho proper shupj,
which is laid upon tho heatod object
nnd lightly hammerod into tin rough
surface, then boated to a blue color,
and tho inlaid metal is hammered
smooth with u polished hammer.
Scieutillo American.
Write I'hcerlul Letter.
Tho popular womau does uot writo
doleful letters; sho waits till suj is iu
a better frame of mind before begin
ning them, for she realizes that thero
are burdens enough iu liTo - without
uddiug to them by inflicting pessimis
tic epistles ou her frieuds.
If sho writes a letter of condolono
it seems tocomo from the heart, for ii
it does not sound that way sho will
not let its coldness further grieve a
bereaved ono ; aud if sho scuds con
gratulations to a brido or a mother
she makes a poiut of rooolleotiu,; or
looking up some rousing good wishes
thut havo tho ring of genuine inter
est. One womuu drops a fragrant flower
iu u letter, uot to a gushing school
girl, but to au obi lady or a tired
mother of au exacting family, aud by
this bit of sentiment not sentimen
tality keeps her memory groeii in the
hearts of her friouds. New York
Herald.
Tlio Poison ol tho Orailliorlijiiclius.
The hind feet of the ornithorhyuch
us, "the mo)e with webbed feet uud
the bill of a duck" that puzzod zoo
logists so much for a lou time, are
provided with u solid spur oouuectod
with a gland. Have wo herd r. poison
gluud? From some apparently trust
worthy account.; that huvo reached him,
Mr. Stewart thinks wo have. This
gluud is at leut venomous at a oert.iiu
sousou. A dog wai wouuded by ouo
of those ;.purs three times, uu I the
symptoms tho first timo were those of
puiu uud soinuoleuuo, but thero were
uo convulsion-1, titubations or tremb
ling. Upon the two other oocusious,
the symptoms were less pronounce. I,
uud even null, thus indicating habitu
ation. The poison has proved mortal
to the dog iu four cases, but iu mau
the symptoms disappear without caus
ing doutu. SeieutiUo American.
A Primitive t'oulesiioua!.
It was a custom of the Crow Indiuus
thut tho members of u war party wheu
takiug tho trail should confess their
immoralities to each o her. Tho most
solemn oaths of secrecy were taken,
aud women wcrj never admitted to
the secn-t o.steiie 'u' est lb!is!rt 1,
Y i'urii Wvrl.1.
SCIENTIFIC AND IXDISTHIAL.
In civilized countries tho averago
nge at which women marry is twenty
three and one-half years.
What is left of potato pulp after tho
starch is extracted is used, among
other things, in the manufacture of
boxes.
M. Tassinari, a Paiisian scientist,
finds the smoke of tobocco to bo one of
tho most perfect germicides and disin
fectants ever used.
It has been found, on investigation,
that tho cucumber has a tomporaturo
of one degree below that of tho Bur
rounding atmosphere
Trunk wires to connect London by
telephone with Edinburgh, Glasgow,
nnd Dublin have just been erected by
the British postoflioo.
A small clectrio lamp is being used
instead of a boll in somo of the tele
phone exchanges in England. The call
for connection lights the lamp.
Diamond dust was supposed to bo
poisonous by tho early chomists, but
it has boon Bettlod that there is no
poibonous matter in tho diamond.
Two cases have recently bcon re
ported of interference with olectrio
signals on a steam railway by the
ground current from au electrio trol
ley line.
Ono of the most striking of the ex
periments iu a recent locturo before
the Royal Institute of Great Britain
showed frozen soap bubbles floating
ou liquid air.
Schiffou & Kircher, of Grunstadt,
Bavaria, havo discovered a new min
eral compound which is plastic iu
water, but become extremely hard
when dry. They call it apyrito.
Tho ooncreto footing of St. John's
Cuthodral, Now York City, is made of
one part cement, two parts saud and
three parts round, smooth pebbles. It
is made and mixed by machinery.
Tho Barwind-Whito Coal Com
pany, of Osceola Mills, I'euu. , hovo
a new mine turning out 11,000
tons a mouth, in which no mule was
ever employed. Eleotricity does tho
hauling.
An eloctrio fire alarm now being in
troduced iu Switzerland acts automat
ically through tho expansion of a
metallio rod under heat. This makes
an electrio connection, and it is said
that the alarm is so sensitive that it is
put in operation by holding a lighted
mutch near it.
Bodies do not rise iu Lako Geneva,
Switzcrlnnd, iu less than seventeou
days, nnd frequently not at all. Thero
is said to be au underground connec
tion between Lake Geneva aud tho
chain of great lakes, and soma pooplo
have a theory that bodies aro ofteu
carried into tho larger lakes and nover
rocovered.
Attacked by Whales.
Cuptuin Mitchell, of Iho steamer tug
Thomas J. Smith, which orrivod hero
from sea, having iu tow tho boue-ludeu
Ituliau bark, from Buenos Ayres,
which tho pickod up to tho southward
of Fonwick Island, reports having
boon attacked by a tremendous school
of whales whilo cruisiug forty miles
southeast of Capo Henlopeu. Tho
whales surrouuded the tug foru period
of four hours, blowing largo streams
of water iuto tho uir, which com
pletely shut out all view of tho sur
rouuliugs. Captain Mitchell says
that iu thirty yeurV tervioo at
sea ou tugs he never before saw such
largo whales, nor were they ever
knowu to congregate iu such numbers
so close to tho laud. It was u serious
timo ou board tho frail tug, and ull
hands were bully scarol, as these
monsters seemed infuriated uuddushed
along tho sides of tho boat with great
force. Cuptaiu Mitchell ran tho en
gines full speed aud attempted to get
clear of tho school, but tho huge
muriuo uuimals followed tho tug, al
most swamping her with the immense
volumes of water they threw ou board.
Finding thnt uuy attempt, to get away
from them was futile, Captain Mitchell
loaded up a largo horse-pistol he hu 1
on board and begun tiriug iuto them,
but tho bullets took uo effect. Oue
monster ho put six shots iuto, but it
ouly infuriate ! the uuimul still more.
It was about 3 o'clock iu tho afternoon
wheu tho leader of tho school hea led
oir shore, aud soou tho whole number
followod uud disappeared. Philadel
phia Press.
UronuiiiK Hoy Siireil by a D.t.
A lurgo Newfotiudluud dog saved a
boy's lifo at Baltimore yesterday. Tho
boy is Howard Counuubuugh, eight
I yours old, and tho dog, formerly a
' . : . ... 1 I . .. I 1 . . 1
iruiup, is iiuw euruu lur uy jiwura
Lynch. Tho boy uud the dg wero
romping on tho dock iu the moruiug,
when the boy ucci leutly fell over
board. There is twenty feet of water
in the dock. Tho big Xewfoimdluu.1
saw the boy fall, uud just us hu camo
to the surface sprung iuto tho dock
uud swum to tho fust-siukiug boy.
Tho boy clutched tho wooly hair ou
the dog's neck, which kept him uiloat,
uud thou tho dog started to swim with
his burden to tho other siilj of tho
dock. A mau rushed to tho rescue,
uud wheu the dog reached tho place,
jumped iuto a rowboat uud maua ;c I
to pull both the dog and tho boy out
of tho wuter. Tho dog became n hero
iu tho eyes of the people who ha 1
been attructed to the scene, uud ho
was given a tirst-clusi dinuer for his
heroism. Baltimore Americuu.
A Theory About Musical PiMiligie-,
It is believed by somo w ho havj e i
auiiucd the histories of so-called mui
cul prodigies thut they ure developed
by making wheu ehildreu tho discov
ery that tho tips of their iiugors will
produce on a piano the sums time uud
tone they make with the tips of their
tongues iu thi-'f laoutus. -N York
THE MERRY SIM OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT AUE TOID BT THE
FUNNY MEN OP THE PRE33.
IrcseI That Way Discouraging
Nervous liOtllnn tlio Tut, Out of
the Hag Not a .lilt, Kte., Kte.
'I wish 1 were n man." she siglie 1,
He (uickly raised hi? head.
And looked at her in wild surprise;
"I thought you wore," he said.
lir ooklyu Lifo,
DISOOfltAllINO.
Clara "Ho is eo obstiuatc
Maudo "In what way?''
Clara "It's tho hardest tiling in
tho world to convinca him that I ntn
always right." Puck.
XEIiVOt'H.
Unole Treetop "Wo must put iu a
day on tho river ; tho fish aro biting
now."
Jess (a -niece from tho city) "la
their bito poisonous?" Life.
LETTTNG THR CAT Oft OF THE HAl.
Principal (to new apprentice)
"Has tho bookkeeper told you what
you have to do iu the nfternoou?"
Youth "Yes, sir. Iwastowakcu
him when I saw you coming." Da
heini, ,. -
THAT SERVANT GIRL.
'No I
She spoke iu accents of scorn.
"I can not be yours."
He turned awoy despoudently and
sought another employment bureau.
Truth.
NOT A JILT.
"Have you brokou your engage
ment with Fred?"
"Yep."
"When did that happen?"
"Oh I When I married him.'1 New
York Lodger.
an rssriADY Liuirr.
"I'm very glad 1 dou't live ia
Rome," remarkod Mrs. Bicker?.
"Why?" asked her husband.
"I'm suro I never could loam to
road by the light of Roman caudles."
Detroit Free Press.
RELIEVED OF A BAD HABIT.
First Sportsman "Does your setter
chase rabbits?"
Second Sportsman "Not now.'
"How did you euro him?"
"I've peppered him so full of bird
shot that ho couldn't run if ho tried."
Chicago Record.
A CHANGE IN THE CUV.
Waysido Ways "Say, Rogers, dou't
deso calamity howlers make yer
tired?"
Restful Rogers "Nuw; doy ain't
half us bad as der business revival
shooters wot's iuquisertivo 'euuso yer
ain't at work." Puck.
HOW HE IIKOKE THE ICE.
Gus "How did you happen to usk
her to marry you tho first time you
ever met her?"
Chollio "Well uh you see I hud
just been introduced to her, and I
ah couldn't think of anything olso to
sav." Horner's Bazar.
, ANTICIPATION.
Now Customer - "Is that your dog?"
Barber -"Yes, sir."
New Customer "Ho scorns very
fond of watching you cut hair."
Buiber "It is uot that, sir. Some
times I make a mistake und take a
lectio piece off a gentleman's cur !"
Tit-Bits.
THE KVEXINU ritAYEU.
Little Pot (ou her kuees, before re
tiring) "Mamma,' may 1 pruy for
ruin? '
Mamma "Y-o-s, if you wuut to,
but why?"
Little Pot "Susio Stuckupp didn't
invito mo to her picuio." New York
Weekly.
VSMEHCIPl'L.
Miss Mature "Do you kuow, poo
plo aro always making tho mott absurd
mistakes about my ago. Why, somo
men guess mo to bo no older thau
some of tho chits of silly girls ono
meets."
Miss Smart "Ah I that's wheu you
talk." Judge.
THE 1NEVITA1II.E CONCLUSION.
Freddy "Mamma, our principal
says that his school days wero the
happiest days of his life. Do you be
lieve th it?"
Mummu "Certainly. Ho wouldn't
say so if it wero not true."
Freddy "Well, Isupposo ho pluyod
hookey uud didn't get caught." Life.
LIKE THEY DO AT A I'IBOl'S.
The performance of the comic opera,
which was being rendered by the tal
ent jd amateurs of Hawville, Okla
homa, hud beeu goiug ou for u consid
erable time without hitch or interrup
tion, whou suddenly Alkuli Ike, the
atliuueed husbund of Miss Litlie Cu
suek, tho prima douuuof the occasion,
rose up in tho midst of tho culturuJ
and refined audience, with a loud
snort of wrath.
"Yere, now, Ike!" remoustruted
Colonel Huudy Polk, who wus officiat
ing as stage muuuger uud also acting
as tho heuvy villain of the opera.
"SVhut iu thunder is the mutter with
you? If you don't liko the perform
ance aud huiu't got tho manners to
keep still, git out I"
"I camo yero to-night," answered
Isaac, hoarsely, "with tho firm do
termination to behave like a meek and
humble rabbit, but, by huug, the next
gentleman thut flings a peanut into
Miss Cusack's mouth will thiuk thut
I'm a wolf aud this is my night to
howU"Trutll.
TO A SUNBEAM.
Bo, liglitlv touch her dreaming head.
Nor winder eyelids sealed asleep,
But fleck with flro theshiuing sweep
Of hair about her pillow shed.
Ho, lightly come nnd go.
And lose yourself and find yourself
Iu tawny tangles ot her hair;
Content you with the golden snare,
Nor veuturo likea saucy elf,
To stray below hor chin.
On earven temples lightly lie,
Nor vex the ami or cyo that's hid
Neath either violet-veiled lid,
Ah! Swoon across her cheek nnd dio
I'pon her fervent mouth.
For, having sipped the honey there,
You may not live another hour,
To wanton with another tlower
Nor burning rose nor lily rare,
But perish In tho kiss.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"Isn't Smith a poet?" "No; can't
borrow a quarter to havo his hair cut
that's all!" Atlnuta Constitution.
Kitty "Why do they cnll it 'Ocean
Bluff House?'" Tom "Because it
makes a bluff ot being on tho ocean."
Puck.
Jack "To feather your nest you
must havo money." Tom "Yes, thero
is nothing so delightful as cash down."
Truth.
Now the druggist's face is bearalug, as tho
nickels to him pass,
Aud he tlilnk's there's fun in soiling froth
ut hnlf-a- Jtiue a glass.
bostou Courier.
"I'm going to mnrrv a sensible wo
muu." "Impossible"." "Why?"
"They are tho ones who won't marry
you." Truth.
' 'I hate these bicycles built for t wo, "
said Miss Jemmison. "It encourages
peoplo to talk behind your back."
Harper's Bazar.
Littlo Girl "What is taot, papa?"
Papa ".Something every woman has
nudexoroises until she gets married."
New York Weekly.
"Oh, I don't mind it so much," said
the sporty ex-bauker, cheerfully, after
tho failure; "wo had a run for our
money, anyhow 1" Puck.
First rhysioiau "Is this a case that
demands a consultation?" Second
Physician "I think it in. Tho
patient is extremely rich." -Truth.
Tommy "Paw, what is the board
of eduoation?" Mr. Figg In tho
days when I went to school it was a
pine shingle." Indianapolis Journal.
"Ho bus money to burn," Is a phrase played
out,
Iu this season boforo dog days uro felt;
And now, to euso a tluauelul doubt,
Wo nro prone to say, "Hu lias ice to molt."
Detroit Free Press.
Ho "Is this the first time you've
over boon in love, durling?" She
(thoughtlessly) "Yes ; but it's so nioo
that I hopo it won't be tho lust!"
Tit-Bits.
"Guy, do bo quiet," suid mamma;
"you nro so noisy." "I'm obliged to
mako u noise, mamma ; somebody
might take mo for a girl." Phila
delphia Timo?, .
Jasper "As men grow olderthoy
grow meaner." Jumptippo "Natur
ally. Tho older they grow tho more
they louru how moau tho rest of tho
world is." Truth,
Clara Winterbloom "There is only
euoligh to about half fill this trunk.
What shall I do; fill it with papers?"
Mrs. Winterbloom "No; let your
father pack it. "Brooklyn Life.
Cawker "Barlow made a rush pre
diction just uow." Cumso "What
did ho say?" Cuwker "Ho said that
tho timo would como when it would
bo respectable to bo houost." Judge.
"I huvo heard worse playing thau that,"
said he,
A-t h-' ceased, with a cheerful air:
Aud ttie audience w'earily rose to go,
Au 1 sa lly murmured "Where?"
-Life.
"Who is tho master of this house?"
asked tho agent of the man who an
swered his ring. "Well," was tho
curious response, iu a resigned toue,
"I am tho husbund nnd father."
Lifo.
First Littlo Girl "Aud isn't your
cut afraid of mice?" Second Littlo
Girl "Oh, no, not u single bit."
First Littlo Girl 'That's queer. Aul
she's a lady cat, too, isn't sho?"
Somervillo Journal.
Vau Pelt "Isu't SI a day rather
high for u hotel iu tho mouutuins?"
Landlord "Hut, my dour sir, you
should think of tho sceuery. " Vau
Pelt "How much do you ehargo for
thut?" New York World.
Kitly "I uuderstuud Mr. Solteigh
felt off tho dock au l it was fifteen min
utes before hu wus lishe I out." Jane
"How did he keep his head ubovo
water so loug?" Kitty "It was tho
lightest part, I presume." Detroit
Free Press.
( hose uu AmiiOag Text.
Au Euglish clergyman who wussul
deuly 4,'ullod ou to preach to a cou
gregutiou of college sludouts was uu
uble to speuk without notes, aud had
only ouo writteu sermon with him,
whii'b was ou tho duties of tho mar
ried state. Tho topic was hardly oue
that ho would have ehosou for the oc
casion, bit', he hoped that it would
pass muster as bciug appropriate by
anticipation. But unfortunately ho
did uot reu 1 the sermon over, uud so
before hu kuew it he had uttered this
appeal : "Aud now, u word to you
who aru mothers." Now York World.
A Kamoii rii-iure lliinc'.
Duriug tho tiro ut Mar Lodge, lio-.ao
id the Duke of Fife, desperate but
vaiu efforts were made to save Laud
seer's famous picture of "Iho Stag
lluut," which ho paiuted ou tho wull
of tho dining-room duriug ouo of his
visits. A number of meu attempted tJ
cut out the wall bodily, but tho Il .nies
burst into tho room aud compelled
luem retreat, New 'rk l'oot.