01 FOREST REPUBLICAN MbUiktt rrtry Wadset;, k, J. E. WENK. Offloa In Btnaarbaugh Co.'. Buildlnj lm rrmsT, tionesta, n, T.rms, . . . I.BO sTTar. 1.'.? WfrtTHI' fat t tfeWtOT MriOd tkra Binnth. wo Onrro.pond.nw lllt rrm U m, ml th. RATZS or ADVERT. SINCi On RqTJara, on Inoh, on. Inaartlaa. .1 I On Hquara, on Inch, cm month. . .. I 0U Ona Square, one inoh. three months., 00' On Pquara, one inoh. on year... .. 10 W Two Bquar, on year In 00 Quarter Column, on year. ........... WOO Half Column, on year BO 00 On Column, on year . - ...... 100 "O Legal dTertimnta tn etnta par Ham each ineertton. Marriage and death notice (rati. All bill for yearly advertisement eoDetto Republican FOR VOL. XXVIT. NO. 12. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 11, 1894. Sl.OO'-PER ANNUM. quarterly. Temporary aareruMmeat i bt paid in aavanoa, Job work -oaah on delivery. The sugar beet industry is being rapidly pushed in Australia. The countries of the world where women already havo some suffrage have n area of over 18,000,000 square miles, and thoir population is over 850,000,030. Says Texas Sittings: Seven out of every ten railroad accidents are settled with an annual pass. Some monwonld be run over by a whole freight train for the Bake of a few free ridos. A" the roRult of statistics showing n large increase in the number of youth ful criminal, the German Ministry of the Interior is discussing a reorgani sation of tho system of compulsory education. The New Zealand farmers are the most prosperous in the world. Within the past ten years the agricultural re sources have beeu developed until the dairy and frozon-moat industries havo attained enormous proportions. An English pnascngor rooontly bought a ticket from London to Vienna, After twenty-four hours' traveling without having had a ohauco to get any food, tho traveler stopped off at Dresden rather than ooutinuo hipourney for the remaining twelve JTiti in it nt ii i a t i : mi i Di.nrvttl.iuu. AUO German railway company cancelled his ticket, which contained no stop ping privilege, aud ho was forcod to buy it her. Australia has not yet reoovored from her financial troubles. Rigid eoonomy has boon praotioed in all de partments of the various Governments for months past, and there has boon entrenchment all around, but yet tho revenue returns are not satisfactory. In the Colony of Victoria the expendi tures of the Government during the quarter just ended exoeedod the rev enue by something like $2,000,000. The interest on deposits in tho State savings banks has been reducod from 8) to three per cent. The strong faoial resemblanoe which married couples often acquire after living together a long poriod of years, harmonious in thought aud feeling, and subject to the same conditions in life, has often been commented upon. The Fhotographio Society, of Geneva, reoently took the pictures of seventy eight couple for an investigation of this subject. The result wai that in twenty-four cases the resemblance in the personal appearanoe of the hus band and wife was greater than that of brother and sistor ; in thirty cases it was equally great and in only twenty-four was there a total absence of resemblance. , The Atlanta Constitution is con vinced that no money-making scheme is too rascally for some men, as wit ness the gang lately arrested in New York, which for years has bion plun dering insurancooompaniesand cruelly killing horses in order to seoure in surance money. They rentod a stable, fillod it with fine horsos, good har nesses and carriages, gutting as largo insurance upon the contents as wat possible. Then a lot of worthless horses, worn-out wagons, etc, were substituted and tlio stable sat on tire. The gang is known to have destroyed more than a dozon stabios, involving the death of 100. or more horses. The law having got these rascals in its olutohos, it is to be hoped a dose will be given them that will serve as a warning to others. A writor in tho Lady's Journal, iu commenting on the story of the doc tor's page introducing a patient .as "Jones" instead of "Mr. Jouos," upon the ground that he did not kuow he was married, ooutonds that tba boy was not to blame so mil oh as our own lingual deficiency la the matter. Mau ought to have a prolix, she says, which should indicate at onoe whether they are married or siuglo. It would be iuoro convenient, doubtless, for the feminine world but some married men, writes James Payu, would not like this plan at (til. Th ' only chance they have of beiug reoeived with civ ility by the other sex is this doubt of their eligibility for matrimony. More over, though it be true the In lies hitva their-"Mrs." and "Miss" to douota thoir connubial or celibate condition, there is nothing to indicate it iu their epistolory communications; tUey par Slut in withholding this information from their correspondents, who conse quently never know how to nddrcsi thorn. Editors, of course, ars con stantly plaoed iu this embarrassing position. It is safer to write "Mrs."; most women, unless they are advo cates of female rights, prefer it to be supposed that some male has fallen 8 Victim to tljeir bow and spear, Thero are 68,000 postofflces in tho Unitod States, arid of these 67,000 do not pay tho expenses of operating and maintaining them. Ex-Secretary of the Navy Tracy is quoted as saying to a friend that in addition to the work and worry hi cabinet life cost him $30,000 every year above his salary of $8000. "Worth its weight in gold" is said to be an inadequate expression when applied to a copy of the first edition of Walton's "Complete Angler." The amount of gold its value represents in England would outweigh many copies. Tho Japanese Government has is sued an ordinance for the purpose of restraining and regulating emigration from Japan, and has made a rule that no emigrant will be permitted to leave his own country for a land where his coming would be in violation of the law of that country. If the iuhoritanoe tax law, just en actod in England, had been in force in this country at Jay Gould's death, his estate would have paid to the Govern ment $5, 600, 000. Mr. Rockfeller's es tate would have to pay $10,000,000; William II. Vondorbilt's estate would have paid $16,000,000. Supervisor of Indian Schools Moss has sent to the Bureau of Indian Affairs a denial of the statement that "Apache Kid," the noted outlaw, was an educated Indian, which has been nsod as an argument against eduoating the red men. While at San Carlos Superintendent Moss inquired about this, and learned that the outlaw was never in school a day. He was a Gov ernment scout, and while in that posi tion learned to speak some English. A novel and extremely interesting experiment is soon to be tried in Ohio, announces the Now York Tribune. It is a new departure in road improve ment, which is claimed by its anthor to have points of marked superiority over the building of macadamized roads. The plan is to extend the eleo trio railway tracks from cities and towns into the surrounding country, and to construct the roads in such a way that they can be nsed for wagons and carriages drawn by horses ob well as by cars. Of course there will be a great saving in horse power wherever such roads are usod, since far heavier loads can be drawn on steel tracks with the same force. In two counties of Ohio trial will be made of this sys tem the present year. It nood hardly be said that the result will be awaited with much interest not only in Ohio, but in other States. The question of road improvement is filling a large plaoe in the pnblio mind nowadays, and anything in the direotion of solv ing it is sure of earnest and respectful attention. Something similar to the Ohio idea was suggested by an Eng lish writer years ago, but nothing, we believe, oyer came of it. Some interesting facts present them selves as to the sooial condition of the people of the United States in a study of the statistics of the Census Bureau, remarks the Boston Herald. The Census was taken on Jnne 1, 1890, and then ont of 32,067,880 male in habitants of this country the un married numbered 19,915,576. The, married were 11,205,228, the widowed were 815,437 and the divorced were 49,101. Out of 30,554,370 female in habitants 17,183,984 were single, 11,. 126,196 were married, 2,154,615 were widows and 71,895 were divorced. The number of married females is thus much larger than the proportion of married men, and the fact that the proportion of widows is three times as great as the proportion of widowers, and the number of divorced women much larger than the number of di vorced mon, shows that the men who are widowers and divoroed more fre quently married again than women in the same condition, Again, it is shown that, by comparing the in habitants of fifty principal cities with the country at large, the greater pro portion of married men are in the cities rather than in the country. This is contrary to expectation, and the percentage of married males in the cities is one per cent, higher than it is on the average in the country. In classifying the divorced persons, it is found that they are most numerous in the western division, and least numer ous in Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, the twoCarolinas, Georgia and Florida. In Maryland the proportion of mar riages is exceptionally high and yet in that State there are three times as many widows as there are widowers, Divoroes are more common at th West than in the East. These are few of the facts that appear in the study of the Census from the point of view of tli conjugal relation, SILVER AND GOLD, Farewell, my little sweetheart, Now fare you well and free I claim from you no promise, Ton ololm no vows from ma. The reason why? the reason Right well we oan uphold I have too nrooh of silver, And you've too muoh of gold. A puszle this, to worldlings, Whose love to lucre flies, Who think that gold to silver Should oount as mutual prise 1 But I'm not avarlolous, And you're not sordld-souled I have too much of silver. And you've too mush of gold. Upon our heads the reason Too plainly can be seen i I am the Winter's bond slave, You are the Summer's quoen ; Too tew the years you number, Too many I have told j I have too much of silver, And you've too much of gold. You have the rose for token, I have dry leaf and rime , I have the sobbing vesper, You, morning bells at chime. I would that I were younger, (Yot you grew never old) Would I had less of silver, But you no less of gold. Edith M. Thomas, BACK FHOM THE TOMB. BT GUT DS MAUPASSANT, HE guests filed slowly into the hotel's great dining hall and took their places, the waiters began to serve them leisurely, to give the tardy ones time to arrive and to save themselves the bother of bringing Dacs tne courses ; ana the old bathers, the yearly habitues, with whom the season was far advanced, kept a close watch .on the door eaoh time it opened, hoping for the coming of new faces. New faces 1 the single distraction of all pleasure resorts. We go to dinner chiefly to canvass the daily arrivals, to wondor who they are, what they do and what they think. A restless de sire seems to have taken possession of us, a longing for pleasant adventures, for friendly acquaintances, perhaps for possible lovers. In this elbow-to-elbow life our unknown neighbors be come of paramount importance. Curi osity is piqued, sympathy on the alert, and the social instinct doubly aotive. That evening, then, as on every evening, we waited the appearance of unfamiliar faces. There came only two, but very peculiar ones, those of man and wo man father and daughter. They seemed to have stepped from the pages of some weird legend ; and yet there was an attraction abont them, albeit an nnploasant one, tha,t made me set them down at onoe as the victims of some fatality. The father was tall, spare, a little bent, wiih hair blanched white, too whito for his still young countenanoe, and in his manner and about his per son the sedate austerity of carriage that bespeaks the puritan. The daugh ter was, possibly, some twenty-four or twenty-five years of age. She was very slight, emaoiated, her exceedingly pale countenanoe bearing a languid, spiritless expression ; one of those peo ple whom we sometimes encounter, ap parently too weak for the cares and tasks of life, too feeble to move or do things that we must do every day. Nevertheless the girl was pretty, with the ethereal beauty of an apparition. It was she, undoubtedly, who came for the benefit of the waters. They chanced to be plaoed at table immediately opposite to me; and 1 was not long in notioing that the father, too, had a strange affection something wrong about the nerves, it seemed. Whenever he was going to reach for anything hia hand, with a jerky twitch, described a sort of zig zag before it was able to grasp what he was after. Soon the motion disturbed me so mnch I kept my head turned in order not to see it. But not before I had also observed that the young girl kept her glove on her left hand while she ate. Dinner ended, I went ont as usual for a turn in the grounds belonging to the establishment. A sort of park, I might say, stretching clear to the lit tle station of Auvergne, Chatel Gnyon, nestling in a gorge at the foot of the high mountain, from whioh flowed the sparkling, bubbling springs, hot from the furnace of an ancient volcano. Beyond us there, the domes, email extinct craters of which Chatel Guyon is the starting point raised their serrated heads above the long chain ; while beyond the domes came two distinct regions, one of them needle-like peaks, the other of bold, pre cipitous mountains. It was very warm that evening and I contented myself with pacing to and fro unier the rustling trees, gazing at the mountains and listening to the strains of the band, pouring from the Casino, situated on a knoll that over looked the grounds. Presently, I peroeived the father and daughter coming toward me with slow steps. I bowed to them in that pleasant continental fashion with which one always salutes his hotel companions. The gentleman haltod at ouoe. "I'ardon, me, sir," said he, "but may I atk if you can direct us to a short walk, easy and pretty if possi ble 1" "Certainly," I answered, and I offered to lead them myself to the val ley through which the swift river flows a deep, norrow cleft between two great declivities, rocky aud wooded, They ooooptod, ond as wo walked we naturally discussed tho virtue of the mineral waters. They had, as I surmised, come thore on his daugh ter's aoconnt. "She has a strange malady," said he, "tho scat of which her physicians oannoi determine. She suffers from the most inexplicable nervous symp toms. Sometimes they declare hor ill of a heart disease, sometimes ef a liver complaint, again of a spinal trouble. At present they at tribute it to the stomach that great motor end regulator of the body this protean disease of a thousand forms, a thousand modes of attack. It is why we are bore. I, myself, think it her nerves. In any case, it is very sad." This reminded mo of his own jerk ing head. "It maybe hereditary," says I; "your own nerves are a little disturbed, are they not?" "Mine?" ho answered, tranquilly. "Not at all ; I have always possessed the calmest nerves." Then, suddenly, as if bethinking himself : "For this," touching his hand, "is not nerves, but tho result of a shock, a terrible shock that I suffered once. Fanoy it, sir ; thin child of mine has been buried alive I" I could find nothing to say ; I was dumb with surprise. "Yes," he continued, "buried alive ; but hear the story ; it is not long. For some time past J nliette had seemed affected with a disordered action of the heart. We were finally certain that the trouble was organic, and feared the worst. One day it came ; she was brought in lifeless dead. She had fallen dead while walking in the gar den. Physicians came in haste, but nothing could be done. She was gone. For two days and two nights I watched beside her myself, and with my own hands placed her in her coffin, which I followed to the cemetery and saw placed in the family vault. This was in the country, in the province of Lorraine. "It had been my wish, too, that she should be buried in her jewels, brace lets, necklace and rings, all presents that I had given her, and in her first ball dress. You can imagine, sir, the state of my heart in returning home. She was all that I had left ; my wife had been dead for many years. - I re turned, in truth, half mad, shut my self alone in my room and fell into my ohair dazed, unable to move, merely a miserable, breathing wreck. "Soon my old valet, Prosper, who had helped mo place Juliette in her coffin and lay her away for her last sleep, came in noiselessly to see if he could not induce me to eat. I shook my head, answered nothing. He per sisted. " 'Monsieur is wrong ; this will make him ill. Will monsieur allow me, then, to put him to bed?" "'No, no,' I answered. 'Let me alone.' "He yielded and withdrew. "How many hours passed I do not know. What a night I What a night t It was very cold ; my fire of logs had long since burned out in the great fireplace; and the wind, a wintry blast, charged with an icy frost, howled and soreamed about the house and strained at my windows with a curiously sinister sound. "Long hours, I say, rolled by. I sat still where I had fallen, prostrated, overwhelmed; my eyes wide open, but my body etrengthless, dead ; my soul drowned in despair. Suddenly the great bell gave a loud peal. "I gave suoh a leap that my chair craoked under me. The slow, solemn sound rang through the empty house. I looked at the clock. "It was two in the morning. Who could be coming at suoh an hour? "Twice again the bell pulled sharp ly. The servants would never answer, perhaps never hear it I took up a candle and made my way to the door. I was about to demand : "'Who is there! 'but, ashamed of the weakness, nerved myself and drew back the bolts. My heart throbbed, my pulse beat, I threw baok the panel brusquely, and there, in the darkness, saw a shape like a phantom, dressed in white. "I recoiled, speechless with anguish, stammering: " 'Who who are you? "A voice answered : " 'It is I. father.' "It was my child, Juliette. "Truly, I thought myself mad. I shuddered, shrinking backward before the spectre as it advanced, gesticulat ing with my hand to ward off the ap parition. It is that gesture which has never left me. "Again the phantom spoke: "'Father, father I See, I am not dead. Some one came to rob me of my jewels they cut off my finger the the flowing blood revived me.' "Aud I saw then that she was cov ered with blood. I fell to my kuees panting, sobbing, laughiug, all in one. As soon as I regained my senses, but still so bewildered I soarcely compre hended the happiness that had come to me, I took her in my arms, carried her to my room and rang frantically for Prosper to rekindle the fire, bring a warm drink for her and go for the doctor. "He came running, eutored, gazed a momeut at my daughter iu the chair, gave a gasp of fright and hor ror and fell back dead. "It was he who had opened the vault, who hid wounded aud robbed my .child aud then nbuudoued her ; for he could not efface all trace of his deed ; aud he had not even taken the trouble to return the coflin to its niche ; sure, besides, of not being suspected by me, who trusted him so fully. We are truly very unfortunate people, monsieur." He was silaut. Meanwhile, tho night had come on, enveloping iu the gloom the still and solitary little valley; a suit of luxurious, dread teemed to fall upon me in the presonoe of these strange beings this corpso came to life aud this father with his painful gestures. "Let us return," said I; "the night has grown chill." And, still in silence, we traoed our steps back to the hotel, and I shortly afterwards returnod to the city. I lost all further knowlodgo of the two peculiar visitors to my favorite sum mer resort. SCIENTIFIC ASD INDUSTRIAL. Artificial ear drnms are a success. Insect eggs have the greatest vi tality. The sour gourd trees of Africa are the oldest living vegetation. The applo contains a larger amount of . phosphorous, or brain food, than any other fruit. The United States has a lower per centage of blind peoplo than any oth er country in the world. Microscopists say that the strongest microscopes do not, probably, reveal the lowest stage of animal life. There are 100 students taking the course of electrical engineering at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. It was twenty-nine days from the casting of the Lick objective glass be fore it had cooled sufficiently for safe removal.- The Electrical Review says the elec trical purification of sewage "is a com plete success, chemically and bacter iologically." The South Sea Islands is the home of a worm which emerges from its hiding plaoe only one day of a certain change of the moon in October. The East Indian ship worm will in a few months destroy any vessel by eat ing out the interior of the beams and planlta. They will be left a mere shell that can be shattered by the fist. The onion has virtues to which thousands of people will swear. This is its ability to ward offattaoks of ma laria in any form, and to cure cases as rapidly as the strongest doses of quinine. A New York lady has so contrived matters that she can, before getting out of bed, start a fire in the kitchen by turning on the current, and when Bhe comes down stairs finds the kettle boiling and the place comfortably warmed. J. J. Hogan, a mechanical student of Yale College, has invented a re markable instrument, called the Kino simeter, which is nsed to measure the slightest motion perceptible to the test of touch. The measure is one millimeter per second. The important discovery has been made by Doctor Backeland that the addition of a minute amount of a solu ble fluorid to yeast will preserve it for more than six months. Doubtless other important applications will be made of this remarkable property of the solu ble fluorids. Mr. Graham, the great British eleo trieian, has invented a "loud-speaking telephone," an apparatus whioh gathers and materializes the wave sounds to such a wonderful degree that they can be heard any plaoj in a large room, even after traveling over the wires hundreds, of miles. How Hard Times Hake Soldiers. . It is an interesting fact' that hard times usually briug plenty of reornits to the United States Army. A recruit ing sergeant told me that it is easier now to recruit a good class of young men and plenty of them than it has been for years. "You see," he said, "there are hun dreds of young fellows who usually earn good enough wages in the mills and factories of New York, Newark and other cities in this vicinity, who have been out of work during the past winter. When every other resource seems to be exhausted many of those yonng fellows tarn to Uncle Sam and enlist in his service. "It isn't patriotism nor love of ad venture that impels them to put on the blue. It is stern necessity. The pay is poor and the task is hard, but they enlist, many of them, rather than turn to beggary or theft." New York Herald. StrAnge History ol a Cherry Tree. In the management of a cherry tree the late Almeron Higby, of Watson, Lewis County, may be regarded by some people as wiser iu his day and generation than the youthful George Washington. Wheu uiue years old he planted a cherry atone, from whioh grew a tree that was known by his parents as "the boy's tree." When it began to bear cherries he picked the fruit, sold it, and saved the money. This he oontinued to do duriug his entire life. Last summer, at the age of fifty-nine, his health declined, and the tree also began to decay. So he cut it down, had the tmuk sawed into boards, and with his own hands made a pretty cbtrry colli n for himself. A few days ago ho died, and all of his funeral expenses were paid from the money that he had saved as the pro ceeds of the sale of the cherries. Mil waukee Wisconsin. Oil ol Eggs. Extraordinary stories are told of the healing properties of a new oil which is easily luude from the yolks of hens' eggs. The ej-'ga are first boiled hard, and the yolks are then re moved, crushed aud placed over a tire, where they are carefully stirred until the substance is ou the point of catch ing tire, when the oil separates and the oil may bo poured off. Oua yolk will yield nearly two teaspoonfitls of oil. It is iu general use amou,; the colonists of South ltussia as a lue.nis of curing cuts, bruise?, etc, St, Loi tftttr-Sayimjs. ODD FREAKS OF THE SEA. SOKE STRANGE 9IOHT3 AND QUEER EXPERIENCES. Effect of Olgantlc Waves Sub-Ma. rlne Eruptions and Storms Show ers offish nones. SAILORS have more than thoir fill of strange sights and strange experiences. Big waves range amojg these strange experiences. We do not refer to those waves which are the imme diate consequences of high winds and atmospherical disturbances, but to those single waves of immense height which shew themselves suddenly in the midst of a sea comparatively smooth. A vessel may be sailing along, in fine weather and with no swell on worth mentioning, when, without the least warning, comes sweeping along a wave that towers like a mountain, falls on the dcok, and carries away everything movable, members of the crew among the rest. The steamer San Francisco was once struck by a tidal wave of this sort in the Gulf Stream, and 179 persons swept into the sea and drowned. In Maroh hist all the orew save one of the bark Johann Wilhelm were washed over board by a single wave. In June last year the ship Holyrood enoountered another such sea which is said to have risen up "suddenly like a wall" and to have flooded her decks fore and aft. TheOunardors, Etrnria and Umbria, have both encountered, the phenom enon, and the former had one man killed and several others injured. The case of tho Pomeranian will be fresh in the minds of all. Sometimes these waves are the result of submarine eruptions and land earthquakes occur ring in close proximity to the sea. An English bark crossing the North Paciflo met with one of these big waves and immediately afterward the ooean seemed to be boiling, and the sulphur fumes that emerged from the water were so powerful as to drive the crew into the rigging. Clearly there was an eruption here as the ship sailed over, and the wonder is that the great wave did not do more injury. Again, the American sohooner Dors J. Ward, while on a voyage to Seattle, Wash., from Cooper Island, was sail ing quietly along, when suddenly she was lifted as if a whale had struck her bottom, and then experienced a suc cession of shocks whioh cast every thing loose about their feet. There were a few big waves succeeding the main one, and then everything was smooth again. The biggest solitary wave ever known was that caused by the Peruvian earthquake of August 13th, 1868. In no other instance, we are assured, has it been known that a well markedjwave of enormous propor tions has been propagated over the largest ocean tract of the globe by an ) earthquake whose action has beeu lim ited to a relatively small region not situated in the centre but ou ouo side of the area traversed by the wave. At Africa it was fifty feet high, aud en veloped the town, carrying two war ships nearly a mile beyond the railway of the north of the town. It inundat ed the smaller members of tho Sand wich group, 6300 miles away, aud reached Yokohama, in Japan, iu tho early hours of the morning, after tak ing in New Zealand on the way. ft spent itself finally in the South At lantic, having traversed nearly the whole globe. A singular occurrence was reported reoently by the English ship Cuoi para. She was about midway bet ween the Cape and Australia wheu she en oountered a hurricane. About mid night of August 4 last the sea sud denly fell almost calm. "It appeared as if the sea was aftected by some tremendous pressure," wheu su ldeuly the whole vessel fore and aft was en veloped in sheets of flame that rose half way up tho masts and overran the dooks for three-quarters of an hour. It was an electrical storm, aud the crew, never having enoountered such a thing before, were puuio stricken, and very naturally so. They expected every minute to see the masts go by the board. After what must have been a very cheerful forty five minutes the flames snuffed out suddenly, and left darkness so thick that it might have been cut. Another singular occurrence was that of the bark Peter Pridell, which Was off Valparaiso when a whirlwind passed over her stern, taking away everything movablt, sails aud all, on the after part of the ship, leaving the forward part untouched. Hero was the sharp end of a storm with a vengeance. Almost as surprised at their good fortune and narrow escape must have beeu the orew of the barken tine Fortunate, which, while on a voyage from llio Grande to Liverpool, felt a tremendous khook that could not be aocouuted for until the vessel was put into dry dock, wheu the sword of a swonlfish was found to have penetrated some feet into the wood of tho hull. Yot another of the curiosities of the sea is the oocasioual shower of fish bones or the like, falling ou deak when many miles from land. These showers are easily explained. The fish are taken up iu waterspouts, aud oome down in more or less raretiej ooudition. But perhaps the most awful of all things that oau happen at sea is a fire. A severe squall break ing over a vessel unprepared for it, and with all her sails set, is had, but the experience is short, sharp and generally deuisive ; but for long-drawn-out agony there is nothing like a fire, especially if it is among coal, and there is also dynamite or gnu powder iu the cargo. Pall Mall Gazette. If a snail's head be out off and the animal placed iu a oool, moist spot a new head will be growu, OOLDEN HOURS. GOLDEN DAYS. Everything has beauty In It Tn the world that 'round us line, Lilting up each waking minute. Giving Joy to longing eyes, That shall All the hours with pmlse Qolden hours make golden dnys. By us Joys are ever flying, Let u make our hearts their snnre Let us share the sweetness lying All about us everywhere ! Let us walk In happy ways Golden hours make golden days. Troubles come but they are fleeting i Boon their shadows will go by, An the clouds the sunlight meeting, Pass and show the smire sky. Life Is full of sunny rays Golden hours make golden days. George Blrdsoyo, in Detroit Froo Press. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A trying situation The cloak mod el's. It is seldom difficult to appear nat ural when you have no desire to please. Puck. It frequently happens that tho fire of gonius has difficulty in making the pot boil. Puok. My neighbor calls his cat "Thero by" because from it hangs a tail. Arkansaw Traveler. Strange as it may seem, it some times happens that an old salt gets into trouble by being too fresh. Almost every womon we know would like to know what some other woman has got to be so proud of. Atchison Globe. Paddy's latest feat was to pawn his grin, preparatory to a day's shooting, in order to buy cartridges. London Truth. There is plenty of room at the top ; but there isn't enough for one-teuth of the people who think they ought to bo there. Puck. The peaoe maker is a commendable character, but he is not esteemed by the follow who is getting the bcBt of the fight. Puck. The part of a man's salary that ho usually doesn't spend is the part he would receive if he were getting what be is worth. Puck. "Gal ton had his lawn mower stolen last night." "Great Caesar I What a luoky fellow he has always been." Chicago Inter-Ooean. Speaking of bereavement, Jones af firms that no death ever affected him so sadly as that of his wife's first hus band. Salem Gazette. Two words sometimes make a long sentenoe. For instance, when the judge remarks to the prisoner: "Twenty years." Truth. You may speak as you will of podi gree generally, but in a sleeping oar it is a man's berth whioh raises him above his fellow passengers. An exohange tells "how to make a fountain pen work satisfactorily." Another way is to give it to one of your enemies. Texas Hif tings. There is that in a woman's disposi tion that induces hor to give anythiug he has to the poor, providing tiiey will use it her way. Atchison Globe. I kissed her a dozen times last nlb'W, And now It makes me sore To think that It I'd only stayed, I might have had oua more. Life. A woman's idea of loyalty is to loan her best silverware to a neighbor who is giving a party, and say nothing when she hears it praised. Atchison Globe. Jack "What sort of a girl is she?" Jim 'Oh, shn is a miss with a mis sion." "Ah I" "And her mission is seeking a man with a mansion." Spare Moments. The lightning flashed, the lightning orashod, The skies were rent asunder, With shriek and wail loud blew the gale, And then It rained like thunder ! Puck. Willy Wilt "Do you know, I fanoy I have quite a literary bent." Van Demmitt "All right, my boy; keep on and you'll be worse than bent you'll be broke." Puck. Madge "Er Miss Laura, I hopel am not talking too much abont my self." Miss Laura -"Oh, no. You have to be talked about by somebody, of course." Indianapolis Journal. No wonder the modest violet Drops shyly out of sight It It hears all the poems People about It write. Chicago lutur-Odnan. Housekeeper "Are you sure that this tea isn't half copperas?" Dealer (oonvinoiugly) "We couldn't afford to sell oopperos at the extremely low prioe we oharge for this tea, ma'am." New York Weekly. L'Enfant Terrible "Have you got another faoe?" Mrs. Homeleih "No, dear; why do you ask?" L'Eu fant Terrible "Mamma sai I you are two-faced; but I thought if you had auother one, you wouldn't wear that one." London Tid-Bits. In the gloaming, O my darling, Whero the nlglit urj six mouths long; It I siayed till ml. Illicit, darling. Would you think tliut it was wrong? Would you work the old gags ou mot Would you murmur, suit and low, That I inigut be late lor breaklatt. Or the oloek was six weeks slow? Detroit Frtw Prees. Teacher "Now, Johnnie, you may tell us this : Suppose your mother had told you to oome home at five o'clock, and you did not go; what would you be doing?" Johnnie "I don't kuow whether it would be swiiumiu' or play in' baseball." Chicago luter Ooean. "What have you named your new boy?" "William. I wanted to get a name that would be sure to fit." "J don't quite catch." "Why, don't you see, if he grows up to be a real nice, good kind of young mau he will be oalled Willie, aud if he should happen to turn out pretty tough he can bo calivd Bill," lu44Uitpolis Journal,