THE FOREST REPUBLICAN
b riDlXkH tT7 Wldi !;, kf
J. E. WENK.
One la Bmaarbaagh Co.'s Bulldlnj
KM ITUn, TIONKSTA, Fa.
Term, . tl.Bo pr Tar.
anrnapeiilint MllclM fism U hiU t th
RATIS OF ADVERTISING l
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VOL. XXVI. NO. 50. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4, 1894. S1.00 PER ANNUM.
quarterly. 1 mporary advertisements I
M paid la advano.
Job work ah oa delivery.
Marriages are proportionately about
twice km numerous in small Western
cities as in Now York.
The Paris Sicclo says that England
net as though it owned tho world,
and that it is niton t time for an ex
planation. '
An English nowspnpor asked for
opinions on tho inoHt popular nnmo
for a Rirl aud n boy. "Harold" and
"Dorothy" got moat votes.
The scarlet tanoger, by many con
sidcrod the iiKmt beautiful bird iu
America, liiw within a few yenrs be
eonio bo rare that it is seldom aecn.
The milliners have almost exterminat
ed them.
Ono of tho curiosities of trado i
aliown in the fart that a largo Nor
wegian steamship has been chartered
to carry thirteen hundred tons of pa
per pulp to Fleetwood, England, from
a wood pulp factory in Maine. For
tho year ending December 31, IH'JH,
we imported 55,504 tons of wood pulp.
An ironical but timely application
of a phrase away from ita customary
Mignitleaucc in the command "hold up
yonr hands," directed by tho city
police to trumps who attempt to abide
in El Paso, Texas, relateg the Atlanta
Constitution. This town of agreeable
winter temperature, lying as it does
on the southern railroad route from
California, was becoming overrun, as
other Texas towns have been, by the
ruffian mendicants that for months
have been thronging eastward. The
evil abated when tho rule was put in
force. Now whenever a tramp applies
for relief ho is compelled to hold up
his hands. If the palms do not fur
nish evidence that he is a genuine work
ingman he is promptly set to cleaning
the streets. As tho methods for en
forcing ordinances in El l'aso empha
size prompitudo with plenty of force
and fireworks it is not strange that
tramps hold aloof from that city and
bestow their unwelcome visitations on
other places.
Women's colleges, in sundry places,
says the Philadelphia rnblic Ledger,
have broadened out wonderfully since
the early days of Vassar. Not to sucak
of Smith aud Tufts in Massachusetts,'
Mr. Henry F. Durout, by hii ex
traordinary gift of 1,000,00,1, made
possible the establishment of Wellesley
College. In addition to this princely
gift, Boston University, with its mil
lions, S3 broadened its scopo that it
opened its doors to women, being en
abled to do so by tho generosity of
Jacob Sleeper. In Baltimore the
liberality of Mr. floueher provided tho
women's college ; also, Miss Mary Gar
rett founded a preparatory school,
wliich is worth everything in pre
liminary education ; while Johns Hop
kins has granted entrance to some ot
its courses. For Philadelphia, Dr.
Taylor ehtablished iu tho suburb of
Bryn Mawr a splendid eoiiogu at an
expenditure of ? 1.000, 000. Iu New
Orleans exists tho Sophie Ncwcomh
College, in connection with Tulano
University. St. Louis has opened the
doors of the Washington University,
and women members stand on tho
same footing with men, thanks to John
D. Rockcfeller.iu the great University
of Chicago.
For several years past and probably
for several years to come, predicts tho
Now York Independent, tho news
which will tell most in tho world's fu
ture history is that which comes from
Africa. During tho past week there
has boon au important new chapter
added to this history. A French
military force has entorod Timbuctoo
in the very interior and most inac
cessible part of. tho South Sahara
neighborhood. Franco proposes to
control tho whole of this territory,
and sho reaches Timbuctoo from tho
north by way of Algeria and from the
west by way of Senegal. Timbuctoo
has been an almost unknown city,
visited very rarely, and generally by
Europeans only in disguise. Tho in
formation is too meagre us yet for iif
to understand the full moaning of this
occupation. So far as wo know tho
force is a small one, and a small force
could havo no chance in ease of oppo
sition. We havo no question that
France intends to make Timbuctoo a
great centre for its in Hue nee and
power, nor that Northwest Africa will
be finally under French control. It is
often said, and truly said, that France
has shown no great uptitudo for colo
nial enterprises owing to a lack of sur
plus population. Hut she has put
Algeria under civilized conditions,
and Frenchmen may multiply more
rapidly iu tho colonies than they do
in their own country. Tho partition
of Africa will afford a great outlet for
Europern population and enterprise
aud will have a great influence on. the
world.
Since 1810 the world's production
of meat has increased fifty-sevou per
cent. , that of grain 420 per cent.
The Chicago Evening Post says that
"Chicago policemen do less work for
more pay than any other class of the
unemployed."
Professor Riley, the bug man of the
Agricultural Department, says that
some bugs have all the five sense;
that man has, and one or two more.
An illustration of the severity of the
times n found by tho Now York Inde
pendent in the fact that two physicians
lately advcrtisod in a daily paper, of
fering $5000 to a man who would sub
mit to an experimental surgical opera
tion involving some risk. Ono
hundred and forty-two answers were
rocoivod.
After a careful calculation of the
rinks from all possible data the Lon
don life insuranoe companies have
fixed tho "war risks" to bo paid extra
by their patrons ordered on active
service at 82. 1H per $500. That is to
say, the British soldier has but about
ono chanco in 250 more of dying oa
active service, than if ho staid quietly
at homo in London.
Chicago is worried over the fact
that so many of its streets and avenues
have the same names, notes the New
Orleans Picayune. One hundred and
sixty-five names have to do duty for
720 streets, aud tho result is not
wholly satisfactory. It has twelvo
Centre streets, seven Ashland ave
nncs, seven Chestnut streets, ten Lin
den streets, thirteen Oak streets, thir
teen Park streets and fourteen Wash
ington streets, besides a number
which are less reduplicated.
...... x
A few years ago, relates the New
Orleans Picayune, the Mikado of
Japan determined to ask his people to
help him govern them, and with a
flourish of trumpets called for an elec
tion andorganizod a parliament. Late
reports from that country say that
now he is having a hard time to man
age the popular representatives. Not
long ago the conservative majority ex
pelled the President, Hoshi, because
ho insisted in keeping faith with for
eign powers. Thon Foreign Minister
Mitsu made them an address, showing
that tho course of the majority would
result in losing everything that Japan
had gained in thirty years, but they
would not listen to reason, and the
session was suspended for ten days. It
is said that tho doings of the Japanese
parliament would furnish first rate ma
terial for a comio opera. The minis
ters attend the sessions with orders for
tho suspension of parliament ready
signed and sealed by tho Emperor iu
their pockets, and when tho body be
comes unrnly tho orders are produced,
and the session suspended for ten days
or a fortnight. The majority of the
members are intensely Japanese, op
posed to everything foreign, and they
have no idea of parliamentary pro
ceedure. It is said that tho Mikado
has started a movoment which is sure
to givo him a good deal of trouble ul
timately. The annual ropoit of fires of tho
Board of Firo Underwriters, of New
York City, contains somo interesting
statistical information. Several tables
set forth the number of alarms and
tho amount of losses for thirty-nine
years up to April 30, 1893. From
these may be gathered an idea of the
growing efficiency of tho Firo Depart
ment, as well as tho rate of increase
of fires due to the growth of the city.
The insuranoo money paid iu 1855
in adjustment of losses was 32.87 per
cent, of tho amount placed. For the
succeeding years until 1870, when the
paid department was adopted, this
percentage was not reduced in fact,
rose in tho lost few years of thif
period. But since, and including
1890, there has been a constant al
though not steady reductiou. The first
year the paid firemen took hold it wo?
22.28 per ceut. In tho year ending
April 30, 1893, it was 13.10 per cout-i
the lowest in all but two years iu the
history of the city. This is telliug
testimony to the value of the paid do
purtinent. Iu 1815 there were 355 fire
alarms, in 1893 29ii0, a steady ascent,
excepting tho years 1863 and 1802,
when the number was exactly the
same, that is, 700. Fires are most nu
merous in January and after that iu
December. They are fewest iu Sep
tember and August. The aggregate
for the Januarys sinoe 1851 was 1847,
for December 4749, July 44(10,
March 1328, April 4159, February
4094, November 887, May 8b'24, June
3535, Ootobor 3392, August 3152, aud
September 8159. As may be seen, the
winter months bring the most visita
tions of fire, except July, whose large
number in accounted " r by Fourth ot
July fim
MOTHER'S PAY.
When the babe lies oa tho heart
Cares depart ;
Heavenly peaoe, boavonly rest
Fill the breast,
When the babe lies on the heart.
WDen I look on baby's faoo
In baby's place,
Vexing snarls to smoothness run
Magfe spun,
When I see that peaceful face.
Than queen to people, more to theo
I Joy to be ;
Than people to thoir queen thou'rt more
Told o'er and o'er
In every breath of thine to mo.
When thou Host on my heart
Hatrol's smart
Turns to sweet j lovo'g soft spell
The way knows well
Through baby's Hps to mother's heart.
O'er responsive eyes and Hps
Bleep's eclipse
Boftly falls, breathing bliss
As I kiss
The tiny, rosy fingertips.
While with thee sweet tryst I keep,
Half asleep,
In thy silver, dream-world boat
Soft I float
O'er slumber's sacred deep.
All the wild world's maddening fray
Melts away s
Gladly all the world to lose
I would choose
Could I take this heavenly pay.
Lesser duty's strident scream
Drops Its theme ;
Joy and duty are one code,
Heaven-bestowed ,
While I watch my baby dream. '
As I gate on baby's face
Angel's grace
, Falls around. Who from home
Cares to roam
While she sees the baby's face?
When my babe lies on my heart
Cares depart ;
Heaven and home by Heaven's grace
Are one place,
When my babe lies on my hoart.
Martha Foote Crow, In Independent.
MRS. ARDEJTS STORY.
BY HELEN FOREST GRAVES.
UESS your man
won't be home to
night," said Seth
Shapley.
1 was standing at
the gate, where the
Norway spruces
cast long shadows
on the snow,
watching the crim
son dyes of the
sunset, when Soth'e
cumbrous sled,
drawn by two
sleepy oxen.creak-
'-SSfc. V "Why, what do
you mean?" said I.
"Bridge is broke," declared Seth,
"ain't no way of fixiu' it before to
morrow noon 1"
"Can't he come around by way of
Millville?" I asked.
Seth shook his head.
"They've took off the night train."
said he. "Warn't enough passengers
to pay this winter."
Beth looked at his oxen's ears. I
looked at Seth.
"All alone up there, ain't yon?"
said he, abruptly.
"Yes," I acknowledged, "I am all
lono."
"Better jest git aboard the sled and
come down to our place to stay all
night," suggested Seth.
"Oh, I couldn't do that?" I an
swored. "I expect Rufus's mother
down from Montreal at any time now ;
and there's the house to look after.
Besides, I'm not all afraid. Why
should I be ?"
"Oh, I dunuo I" said Seth, cutting a
fresh plug of tobacco. "It's kind o'
spooky up there, ain't it, with Betsey
gone?"
And then I remembered that mv
maid-of-all-work had been summoned
to tht) sick bed of some ancient rela
tive, a few miles away.
My perturbed face must have ap
pealed to honest Seta's sense of chiv
alry, for ho burst out all of a sudden :
'I'll toll yo what, Mrs. Ardeu, 1 11
send little Polly up to stay all night
with you. Polly's only a slip of a
thing, but she's a deal o' company,
and I'm pretty sartin she wouldn't
like nothin' no bettor. "
"Oh, thank you !" said I. "It will
be very kiud of you, Mr. Shapely."
And I strolled baok to the house,
the crisp wind blowing my hair back,
and the red Biinset gleams lighting up
tho frozcu landscape as with bars of
blood.
I was an artist's wife. We had not
been married a year yet, and Rufus
had gone to the city to see about some
pictures that he was placing on sale iu
a great art room.
We had been able to hire P.aquette
House, us this fine old mansion was
culled, at a merely nominal rate, as
the wealthy pork-packer who built, it
was tired of the loneliness of the situ
ation and had moved to Atlantic City,
where his money would make mo'ro
show. And Rutus had the option of
paying the rent by painting a set of
panel pictures for his seaside dining
room. It wn a larger house than we need
ed, but the grounds and gardens were
delightful, aud after all, as Itufus and
I reosoued, it didu't cost us any more
than a smaller house would, and was a
deal more ariistic.
But it did seem rather big aud
gloomy iu the gathering dusk as I
came in that night, more especially as
I had never before been alone in it more
than a few hours at u time.
Consequently I wan not sorry a fow
minutes afterward to heal Polly Shap.
ley' voice & 1 bat by tho fire.
"1 came in the west door, " breathed
Polly, flushed with the haste he had
made. "Did you know, Mis' Arden,
the west door warn't. bolted?"
Tolly was a tall fourteeu-yeor-older,
with a curly crop of hair and a nasal
voice.
"Betsy was careless about the
doors," said I, remembering with a
guilty pang Hnfus had bidden me be
very careful about securing the prem
ises in his absence.
"Bocause," he lind said, "there's
that money Welford wanted me to
bank for him in tho studio desk
drawer, and tho diamond necklace iu
the cabinet."
And then, with a sudden after
gleam of recollection it flashed across
me just where Rufus had stood, by the
depot stove, when ho spoke the words,
and how a stout, short man, in a
slouched fur cape and a ragged over
coat, had watched us as he waited for
a ticket and chewed tobacco.
Conld ho havo heard the word? And
how was he to know that "tho dia
mond necklace" was only a state
trinket of cut gloss, borrowed of au
artist friend for the decoration of tho
lay figure, or that Welford's money
was only a fow dollars, sent in repay
ment of something he had borrowed
from Bufus?
Upon the whole, I was glad that
Polly Shapely had come to bear mo
company during that long, solitary
winter night. Of course there was no
danger, but that
"We'll go back and bolt it, Polly,"
said I.
"Oh, I done that!" said Polly,
"Gracious! ain't them halls dark I I
came through the study "
"Studio, Polly," I gently corrected
her.
"Studio, then," Polly accepted the
emanuation. J. he tiro ain t quite
out, here. Ain't no danger o' fire, is
there?"
"Perhaps it had better be covered
with ashes," said I. "Run and attend
to it, Folly, and I'll see about the
tea."
"I've got some apples and chestnuts
in my bog," cried Polly, "and some o'
mother's riz doughnuts. She thought
mebbe you hadn t nothin baked up,
seein Jieisey was gone. uimme a
candle, Miss Arden. I wouldn't go
through them halls in the dark ag'in
for nothin'. I could swear there was
spooks a-rushin' arter me."
"What nonsense, Polly !" said I.
But, nevertheless, I handed her the
brass candlestick that Bufus had
bought at a sale on account of its an
tiquity.
I was just hanging over the tea-ket
tle when the scuille of Polly's footsteps
was heard once more, this time at rail
road rate.
"I wouldn't be hired to go through
that there study ag'in, Mis' Arden,"
said she, slamming down tho candle
stick on the table.
"Why, Polly, what's the matter?"
"Them portraits a starin' down at
me ! gasped the girl. "Their eyes a
follerin' me all round 1 Gracious, what
a start it gimme !"
"That's the way portraits always do,
Polly," explained I. "You're a goose !"
"I can't help it," pouted Polly. "It
fa'rly makes mo creep. An' the woman
in white, standin' up on the platform
she turned her head an' looked at
me, she did."
"What, Polly a woodon figure,
dressed like the Lady of Aveuel?" aud
I burst out laughing. "Why, it's
jointed, like a doll!"
"Well, I can't help it. It did turn
its head. And I wouldn't go back
there ag'in, Mis' Ardon, not if you
woe to give mo a silver dollar !"
"Well, Tolly, you needn't." I
soothed her, perceiving that she was
really nervous and frightened. "We'll
have tea here by the fire, and after
ward we'll roast tho apples and tho
chestnuts. There are no portraits herd
to follow you with their eyes."
And Tolly soon forgot her tribula
tions iu the tea, tho raspborry jam
and the tales I told her of life iu beau
tiful, ice-girdled Montreal.
I made her up an impromptu bed on
a sofa in my own room opening from
this choerful, fire-lightod apartment ;
but when sho was asleep and snoring,
I quietly throw a shawl over my
shoulders and relighted tho candle.
"I will see after that firo myself,"
thought I. "There's no telliug what
accidents might happen, and we are
not insured."
Nevertheless, I could but remember
Polly's idea of tho "spooks" as 1
passed along the silent, moonlightod
hall to the studio door.
Opening it suddenly, the draught
blew out my caudle; but the moon il
luminated the room with a faint silver
radiance, aud one or two live embers
yet glimmered on tho deep hearth, tho
last remains of Bufus's cherished Yule
log. Just iu the line of the bigmullioned
window the lay figure occupied its oc
enstomed pi ace, on a carpeted dais,
closo to Kufus's easel, and chancing to
glance in that direction my blood
froze chill.
From beneath the white hood of the
"Lady of Aveuel," winch had been
Tin fun's last historical study, u lutir of
real, human eyes seemed to Hash a
sudden furtive look at me, aud was
it only a memory of Polly's panic, a
mere freak of my disordered imagina
tion, or did the figure really move a
little?
With electric swiftness, the whole
thing rushed across my mind Bufus's
cureless words at tho railway station,
the btont stranger in the fur cap, the
fact of my being atone and defenseless
in this solitary spot -
Yet, after the first fright, my senses
seemed to rally themselves into a
btrsuge calm. 1 relighted my caudle
&t the lust Yule ember, covered it with
a bed of ashes, composedly walked
across the floor as if nothing unusual
lial happened, aud Softly looked the
door behind we.
"He's welcome to the fctage oatk-
lace if ho wants it." thought 1 ; "and
the money is safe in a Branal-locked
desk. The studio window is a deal
too high for him to escape that way,
besides being guarded with a strong
wire netting ; and I don't see how else
he can escape, unless he goes np the
chimney."
Then I went back to my own room,
where the firo crackled cheerily, and
Polly snored with soothing monotony ;
but the reader can easily imagine that
there was no sleep for me that night.
With the crimson flush of daybreak,
I was about to rouse Polly up and
send her down to summon her father,
when a loud knocking at the door
startled me.
It was Bufus himself!
"Well, pussy," said he, "were you
nervous aliout being left alone? I got
Sam Penny to row me over the river,
and came across country in a cutter.
Hero's Seth Shapley, with his ox team,
to take his girl home. Got any fire?
I'm half frozen to death."
"Hufns Mr. Shapley 1" I gasped,
"don't stop here ! Come right to the
studio. Here's the key. I don't
know, but I think I'm almost sure
there's a man locked up there I"
Without pausing to answer their
eager questions, I hurried them along
the wide, tilo-paved hall, and in al
most loss time than it takes to relate
the incidents the door was unlocked
and sturdy Seth bod got the stout,
rod-faced man by the throat, while
Bufus was pinioning his arms.
"It's yon, is it, Ben Frowley?"
Bhouted Seth. "Just out o' Danne
more Jail for one offense, an' now
you're qualifyin' for another term,
hay? Ye shif'less, thicvin', drunken
scamp, I know ye !"
And in a minute or two they had
him, safely secured with ropes, lying
panting and breathless on the floor.
The stage necklace was in his
pocket, and he had contrived to pick
the Branal lock in spite of everything
and possess himself of the few bills in
the desk drawer, while tie actual
jointed substratum of the White Lady
of Avencl, whose garments he had
taken to conceal his identity, under
the semblance of a draped lay figure,
was pushed beneath the dais in wooden
confusion.
All of a sudden we heard the voice
of Polly behind us.
"I knowed the critter moved its
headl" said she. "Didn't I tell ye
so, Mis' Arden?"
And that was the last time I ever
allowed myself to be left alone in
Baquette House.
"Not that I'm afraid," said I, "but
but every one knows that discretion
is the better part of valor." Saturdav
Night.
Thickness ot the Soap Babble Film.
The most powerful of the modern
microscopes will render a point one
hundred thousandth part of an inch in
diameter perfectly visible. While
this is true beyond a doubt, there are
reasons for believing that a single
molecule of matter is much smaller
even than that. One reason for this
belief has been deduced from calcula
tions made on the soap bubble.
Scientists have made measurements of
the thickness of the envelope of soapy
water inclosing the air of the bubble
when it had become so thin as to pro
duce rainbow tints. At the appear
ance of the shade of violet it was one
fourth of the thickness of the length
of an ordinary violet wave of light
(one-sixty thousandth of an inch),
thus making the thickness equal to
one two hundred thousandth of au
inch.
As the bubble continues to expand
a black patch formed near the end of
the pipo from which the Imbble was
being blown. Measurements were
then taken to ascertain the thickness
of tho black portion of the bubble,
and the experimenters were astonished
beyond measure when they found the
thickness (or thinness) to bo only
ouo-fifty millionth of au inch! St.
Louis Republic.
This Miner Was Lucky.
Michael O'Reilly's lucky star must
have shone over him, for he had about
as narrow au escape from instant death
at tboltarus Mine as was ever record
ed. He was ascending the ladder-way
in tho pumping shaft above the 400,
when one of the ladder rounds broke,
aud he lost his balance and fell into
the shaft. He dropped about fifty feet,
and in some manner managed to grasp
hold of a water-pipe or something of
the kind and clung to it. Otherwise,
he would have fallen 200 feet to the
six-hundred level and into seventy-five
feet of water. Ho managed to swing
to the ladder again. Another miner
assisted him to a level. He was raised
to tho surface, aud Drs. Wells and Mo
Crimiuou were summoned. They
found that, aside from a fractured
ankle and some painful bruises, the
man was not seriously hurt, but tho
shock had been great. He was carried
to his homo, iu Dublin (iuloh. Mr.
O'lteilly hus a wife aud one child.
Butto (Montana) Inter-Mountain.
A Fish With a Ituhher Hand.
Forest and Stream speaks of a
curious tind iu tho Capo Anu fish mar
ket, at Gloucester, Mom-. It was
uothiug less than a mackerel with a
rubber band around the body. Tho
bund had been put on tho fish when
quite small, and stayed there iu spito
of tho rapid growth of the wearer.
The fish's body uuderthe baud did not
grow, which caused a depression iu
the full-growu body of about three
inches iu depth. The depression was
covered with a healthy skin iu no way
unlike that on the rest of the body.
Tho fish measured iu length fourteen
inches, diameter of body each side of
the depression, seven aud threr-fourthl
inches, diameter of depression, tiv
inches. Th fish was undoubt dly iu
a healthy condition, and the lia : I wa
sound and could be strttched, li k 'luy
otlivr baud.
A BIG BURDEN OF TAPER.
QUESTION OF HOW TO DISPOSE OF
OLD MONET ORDERS.
The fSovernment Cannot Aflord t
Destroy Them A Kemnrkable
Case of Counterfeit Ing Orders.
WHAT is Unclo Sam going
to do with all the old
money orders? They
have been accumulating
on his hands for nearly thirty years,
and not one of them has been de
stroyed. More than two billion dol
lars' worth of them in value originally
represented ore now stored away in
the various buildings belonging to the
Postoffico Department at Washington,
occupying thousands of cubic feet of
precious space. To hold them all
would require several ordinary-sized
houses, and still they continue to pile
up. It is tho same way with many
million dollars' worth of postal notes.
Inasmuch as they are vouchers for
money paid out, it would hardly do to
burn them. The Government, iu re
lation to the money order system, acts
an a sort of trust company. Citizens
plaoe their cash in its hands, and the
canceled orders are evidence of the
fulfillment of the trust.
Besides, things are constantly hap
pening which rendor it necessary to
refer to the back-number orders. A
man writes to the department, saying :
"I am the administrator of the estate
of John Jones. Among his private
papers I have found certain money or
ders, dated some years back. Please
send duplicates, in order that I may
cash them." Now, it frequently hap
pens that the orders discovered in such
ways are from ten to twenty years old.
By turning to the files it can be ascer
tained in a moment whether these se
curities have been redeemed or not.
Or perhaps William- Smith will
write : "Two years ago James Robin
son, of PodunK, sent me a money or
der for $50. I did not receive it.
Kindly furnish me with a duplicate."
The order referred to is looked up and
found in the files canceled, bearing
William Smith's signature to the re
ceipt. Smith, on being informed of
this fact, declares the signature a
forgery. A poBtoflice detective is then
put on the case and investigates it.
May be he decides that Smith's claim
is good ; but since the money order
system was founded in 1865 there hsve
not been more than 200 cases of for
gery of this description.
When a money order is missing a
duplicate can always bo obtained.
Three hundred such duplicates are is
sued by the department ot Washing
ton every day, on an average. The
eriginals disappear in all sorts of
curious ways. Farmers, through mis
take, frequently keep them ns re
ceipts, instead of forwarding them
through the mails. After awhile the
unsophisticated agriculturist in dunned
for payment by the keeper of a store
in a neighboring town. "Why," he
says, "I sent you the money by post
some time ago, and here is the receipt
in my pocket." A'ith that he exhibits
the money order. But it ofteu hap
pens that tho payee, learning that
cash awaits him at the postoflice, ap
plies for a duplicate. Railway postal
clerks sometimes steal letters ami find
money orders in them. To get rid of
them, they burn them. Then tho own
ers ask for duplicates.
In the history of the mouey order
system only two instances of the coun
terfeiting of these securities have been
recorded. The first and more remark
able case was in 1873. John N. Young,
who had been employed iu the money
order division of tho Chicago Post
office, thought that ho had discovered
a wsy to get rich cosily. His scheme,
being without precedent, might have
been fairly successful, if he had worked
it skillfully; but he carried it out very
clumsily indeed. For $30 he hired u
drunken printer to set up typo for au
imitation of the regular money ordei
blank. This was not difficult, inas
much as the kind of blank used by the
department has always been severely
simple. However, tho type sitting
was so badly done as to call attention
almost immediately to the fraud.
Nevertheless, the swindler managed to
obtain cash for a number of his orders.
They were for $50 each tho minimum
allowed at that time. All of them bore
the stamp of Oshkosh, Wis. They were
to be paid to fictitious names iu Indi
anapolis, Iud., Springfield, III., aud
other cities. Young managed to steal
a number of official envelopes and "ad
vice blanks" to help out his game, but
he had none of the regular postoflice
stamps, aud so was obliged to employ
ordinary postage stamps lor making
his letters of advice to postmasters.
This was calculated to excite attention.
The rogue applied for the money at
the different postofliees under the ticti
tious names which he had employed.
He would hove been caught iu Cincin
nati, but tho pobtuiaster, who had been
warned iu advance from Washiii ;ton,
stupidly lt him get away when he pre
sented his bogus orders, telling him to
call again. Of course he did not conic
back. Finally he was caught iu
Florida. Ou his way north ho jumped
from the train, but was subsequently
recaptured and eventually Ian ted iu
the penitentiary. Washington Star.
The Best Hauanas.
Ia selecting bananas it is well to re
member that the fruit which is largest,
the deepest yellow, aud the least angu
lar is, as a rule, the best. One who
has become banaiia-uise through look
ing into their culture in Uiiisica
(where most of the bau'iuas that come
to our market are grown) denies the
current belief that bananas are ripened
on the plant iu that country, and there
fore much superior to those that are
cut green. Detroit Free I'lcs.
Canada forbids the adulu-ratinij t!
ft$M, u4 CafiaiU l fight,
LOVE THE MAGICIAN.
Bing bird, ripple rill ;
Purple is the distant hill :
Bky Is bright, and Aaf is clear.
Love is here.
Frown sky, vanish hill ;
Mute the bird, aud dry the rill ;
All the day Is drear and dead.
Love Is fled.
George B. Gallup, In Munscy.'S
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Books of travel Thousand-mila
tickets. Truth.
Consistency is a jewel often sold to
pay the prioo of success. Tuck.
A mistake is opt to attract more at
tention to us than a virtue. Ram's
Horn.
The trouble with many men is that
they will snatch defeat from victory.
Puok.
"I always did enjoy an intellectual
feast," said the cannibal, ns ho ate tho
Yale man. Life.
When a man pawns his honor ha
finds that the legal interest on perjury
is tremendously high. Truth.
Judge (to tramp prisoner) "Fifty
dollars or thirty days." "Time'H
money, Judge. Gi'me thirty days."
A newly discovered weather prophet
says that an icy pavement is a sure
sign of an early fall. Hartford Jour
nal. - A Kensington doctor suggests that
a good thing for the Cramps is a con
tract for a new warship. Philadelphia
Record.
Christie "That young Mr. Snpp
talks just like a book, doesn't he?"
Kathryn "Yes, a blank book." De
troit Free Press.
He "There goes Hotton in his now
overcoot. What do you think of him?"
She "Ho is simply out of sight."
Washington News.
"Goodluck has had his salary raised ;
was it for extra work?" "Yes; he
always listens when the proprietor
tells his baby's smart sayings."
"How are you getting along learn
ing to operate your typewriter?"
"First rate. 1 can almost lead soma
of the things I write." Chicago
Record.
Husband (irntely) "You think yon
know everything, don't you?" Wifo
(softly) "No, dear; I never did know
why you know so little. ' Detroit
Free Press.
"I am sorry, but the picture looks
like a perfect failure to mo. " Artist
"Great Scott, what a perfect success I
must have made of it I" Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
She "I don't like that Mr. Smith;
he is always riding somo hobby or
other to death." Ho--"Ah,why don't
you call the attention of the S. P. C.
A. people to it."
The differenco between the wealthy
idler and the leader of au orchestra is
that the former's sole ambition is to
kill time, while the latter beats it.
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma "What are you mid Fred
die quarrelling about V" "Wo were
playing keep house and Freddie came
home and found dinner wasn't ready."
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Sho--"Is it trne that n lover never
eats anything?" He "Not after he
becomes engaged." She "Why not?"
Ho "He never has any money to
spore." Brooklyn Life.
Benedict "Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case?" Singleton "I'm afraid there
is." "That's so? Do you know who
is?" "Yes her father."
Maude "Why dou't you give
youug Sewers some encouragement if
you lovo him?" Nell "Oh, he ought
to be able to press his own suit. He's
a tailor." Philadelphia Record.
Bunker "I was fool euon h yester
day to toll that doctor of yours that
you sent mo." Hill "What difference
diil that make?" Bunker "He mado
mo pay cash." New York Herald.
Elderly Maiden "1'liis is so unex
pected, Mr. Wclliilouir, tlint- tiiat yon
must givo me time." Eldorly Lover
"Time, Miss Rebecca? Do you think
there is any to spare I"--Chicago Tri
bune. Forgot herself : Brns-- "You knew
Mangle recently married a w idow and
weut on a wedding trip, didn't you? J
saw him yesterday on his return."
Griggs "Anything happen whilo he
was away?" Uriggs--"Yes. lie says
that iu a tit of abseiit-uiunic luess sho
proposed to him again. ' Ilrooklvu
Life.
"Here,- said tho very youu- man,
"is u chameleon." "Oh. Sir. (' illow,"
she exclaimed, "this is very kind of
you. 1 shall take goo I care of it. " '"I
hope you will keep it to n-miu ' you of
me." "1 shall take the greatest oleas
uro in doing so. (Afl-i a p.. s. What
o pity it doesn't slay n'ven !l Uu
time. "Washington St ir
Mr. Gotham "So you ai-. iroinx
settle iu the United si lit New v-
rival (from South Am, -no,'. '-Ws,
sir; they've got to di-awni". ilnna
little too fine iu Smith America to suit
me. Why, sir, it's got so im.r t lint a
mau can't even get a joo at ov rthrnw
ing a government unless h lu lou js to
tho Revolutionist' Union and has paid
his fens regularly (or i t mouths. '
New York Weekly.
"I havo got a first-rate place for
you." taid the employment aei.t.
"Tlio woman who won la a c .'; iis.-.l K
be a h red girl herself, so there's no
doubt but that she will lie r nv mi
you." "I'.iinv on iuc?" sei'v -a. ue. I .he
applicant for a placv. "No. .m; i h,
would. Why, site n.M'.'.ln't . I i a t mi ;
but sit up of nights thinking -if. t
to get ev.ui on uu lo.- the u;, i is
treated when sin) hid to In. .cr
uel 1. Vnll don't kilo V 1 l.l V i ' ' ll
women us u l ist yciu'n ,,r .;;. " -udiau.lK'ii:i
''.'JI-4,1,'.