THE FOREST REPUBLICAN J. E. WENK. Cffioaln BmuibtDtb Co.'a VuUdln BUI ITBUT, TIONB8TA, Fa. Trm, . . . f 1.00 prYar. RATIS OF ADVERTISING I On Pqnars, on. Inoh, on Insertion. , 1 00' On Square, on inch, on month. . ., I 00 On 8quarp, on Inoh. tnrae month. , 00 On. qu.ro, on Inch, on your... ., 10 (W Two (Squares, on year 15 00 Quarter Column, one ysar 80 Oli Half Column, on year B0 00 On Column, on year. 100 HI Lagtd xlTrtianMit ten casta pr lb each inMrtion. Marriages and daath notion gx&tl.. All bills for yearly advertisement oollnt.4 OREST REPUBLICAN. MtMirtin tmtni tm i artw prio4 OnrapOTlmfi wlton fr Mrta f th, eonr.ny. N. ilo wUI k ItM ftaaaraoiu oauuiDicaUoaa. VOL. XXVI. NO. 22. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 20, 1893. S1.50 PEll ANNUM. quarterly. 1 emporary advertisements i D paid in advance. Job work caih on delivery. They nru proposing to pension teach era in England. Crimo is rapidly increasing all over Argentina. Statistics show that it ban more than duubluil during tho past two years. The School Board of Auburn, Me., has decided thnt it taken six children to mako a school, and they intend cloning up all schools having Ichs than that number. A California man offers to give, with out charge, to the city of 8au Fran ciBPo a flow of water amounting to 190,000, 000 gallons daily and bring it about 120 milos from the forks of North and Middle Yuba Rivers. His only condition is that he should have the privilege of loaning for a period of twenty-five years tho horse power to bo developod from the water. A novel method of meeting tho chinch bug post is being adopted in Minnesota, where these insects appear in such largo nnmbors as to destroy the crops. There is a disease known as entomophahers, which is deadly to tho bugs. Several hundred of them are caught, inoculated with it and turned loose. These give it to others, and in the consequent epizootic the bugs disappear. A controversy is raging in St. LouiB about the identity of the last surviving Boldiur of tho Revolutionary War. The facts seem to indicate, concludes the Atlanta Constitution, that this obsenro individual was John Gray, who died at Hiramsburg, Ohio, March 28, 1808, and who lies buried there in an almost unmarked gravo. He was 104 years old at the time of his death, and was a Continental soldier when only sixteen years old. More than eight thousand persons the exact number is 8180 committed suicide in 1'aris in 1891. The propor tion is twenty-one to every 100,000 of the inhubitnnts, and the increase over 1881 is twenty-five per cent. What has caused tho enormous percentage of increaso in self-destruction in ton years, wonders tho New York Mail and Express. Apparently life is no harder and its condition no more dis couraging than they were ten years ago. Hays tho Boston Herald: "Tho country taverns are reported to be getting a good deal of custom from bicycle riders this summer, who make long journeys into the country, put up for a day or a night, and then keep on or return home. Any town in the rural districts that hns good roads is sure to be benefited by this sort of custom, and in time it will more than make up for the losses which the country hotels and boarding-houses are likely to experience on account of tho prevailing business depression. Let the town authorities bear in mind that good roads are the prime requisite for encouraging this business, how ever. " One of the most commendable pensions granted by the British Gov ernment during the past year, tho New Orleans Picayune thinks, was that of $500 to Miss Lucy Garnett in recog nition of her literary merits and to enable her to prosecute her researches in Oriental folk-lore. Other note worthy pensions bestowed during the year were one of $370 to the widow ol Professor Minto, and one of $250 to T. Adolphus Trollope's widow. The ladies, indeed, fared very well, Misf Margurct Stokes receiving $500 for her researches into early Christian art and archaeology in Ireland, and Mrs. Cashol lloey $250 for her novels. Tho Rev. Richard Morris, to whom every student of early English literature and philology is indebted, receives $750. The English, who are trying to anglicize Egypt, are very much an noyed by a recent decree of the young Khedive to the effect that the Arabic lunguage must bo used in oil branches of the curriculum of tho Government schools. The study of this language has always been required of every pupil, and they attain considerable proficiency in it, in order to pass tho necessary examinations, but under tho present ordor it will become practi cally the vernacular. Tho English consider this a long step backward, and say that all the text books on the modern arts and sciences are in the languages of Europe, and that all at tempts to teach them in the Arabio have resulted badly. This, perhaps, was due to tho fact that the teachers were not so familiar with the lunguuge as they might have been. At all events, no one can blame the Khedive for using all the means in his power to keep alive the National institutions and feelings of his people. Egypt is almost a British colony now. A Western geologist says thst tin liens can raiso wheat for another thousand years boforo exhausting tho necessary properties of tho soil. Tho Greek stylo of building, modi fied to modern needs, has been moHt successfully used in Paris, where many palaces are seen of this const ruction. A Now York rausio dealer says that tho composer of "After tho Ball" will make $100,000 out of his song. Many other authors of popular songs havo made nothing becauso they failed to take ont copyrights. Home timo ago an Iowa cyclone fol lowod tho routo of a railroad for sev eral miles, and now, the Chicago Her ald learns that there is a theorist on dock who proposes to steer these storms, by means of rails laid and wires strung for the purpose, into open sections of country where they can spend their force without damage. Prince Henry of Orloans, who is not of much account in most things, has shown wisdom in advising tho scions of French royal houses to assist in the colonial development of France, since they can but add confusion to coufu sion if tboy take part in polities. It was upon his advice that the young Duke of Uzeo went on tho Congo ex pedition, which proved fatal to him. If half tho stories told of him aro true, Lord Cromer, tho British diplo matic agent iu Egypt, is an original individual. He divides his leisure time between lawn tennis and Homer in the original Greek. During tho recent Egyptian crisis Lord Cromer ordered the Khedive to dismiss his prime min ister within twenty-four hours,orderod troops from Malta and Aden in case of an emergency and then went out and played tennis until sunset. The paucity of American-born sail ors in the United States Navy has ex cited a great deal of comment, ob- Berves tho Chicago Herald. A record of the seamen serving in tho navy since the establishment of this system shows that not more than four per cent, of tho lads who are graduated from tho apprentico training system continue in tho service of tho United States. The records futhur show that of tho 7250 seamen allowed by law in the navy.loss than one-half of those who enlist at the receiving ships are native born Ameri cans. The interesting fact is shown in the emigration and immigration returns of Great Britain and Ireland last year that, whilo the native population is leaving in hundred of thousands for this country and the British colonies, there is a considerable, influx of immi grants into tho United Kingdom, com ing for permanent settlement. Last year 210,042 British and Irish left their home, the great majority, 150, 039, coming to the United States. In the same period 22,137 aliens from the continent of Europe arrived in tho United Kingdom "for permanent set tlement." Western railroad officials say that this year's corn crop will be 300,000, 000 bushels larger than last year's; that the oat crop 50,000,000 larger; that tho wheat crop will bo only 100,000,000 bushels smaller ; that the hog crop will be 4,000,000 larger and that all roads will have vastly nioro to haul than in 1892-92. State Secretary Mohler has issued a special report on the corn prospects of Kansas. He puts theareaat5,290,000 acres, only 600,000 under tho wonderful area of 1889, when the yield was 273,000,000, and that tho condition this year promises a yield exceeded only by 1889. The New York Post remarks that "Few people hove any conception of the pressure for pardon which is brought to bear upon every Executive. Governor Stone, of Missouri, has at least 500 applications before him, and declares that it is not an exaggeration to suy that one-hulf of his timo is ab sorbed in listening to such applica tions, which aro presented by mothers, wives, daughters, lawyers, friends from every part of the State, singly, by twos and threes, und often iu larger delegations. Most of these applica tions ho has to refuse, only nineteen having been grunted during the first six months of his term ; but it is easy to accept his plea that 'an undue pro portion of my time is consumed with these matters, and the strain upon nervous vitality resulting from tho pa thetio incidents connected with them is very exhausting. It is obvious that some change ought to be made, either by the establishment of a Board of Pardons or otherwise ; for it is absurd that half of an Executive's tim and strength should be exhausted in con sidering petitions that he will set usido the findings of the courts." HOW TO LIVE. Po should we live thst evory hour, May ilia as dies the natural flower. A self-reviving thing of power. That every thought, and overy deed, May hold within Itself tho seed, OI future good and future; mood. AN INTERRUPTED VERDICT. HE lights were turned low in tho courtroom, snd about them slowly circled tho fou), heavy air, adding to TV' dimness. ,!' s J Judge Green- m goods had irono to his dinner, having a n nounccd his in tention to re turn at 9 o'clock unless sum moned sooner by the agreement of tho jnry. The District Attorney had 1 mcked away the papers that had seen their day in his green bag, and, arm in arm with his assistant, had strolled nway, pausing now and then to whiB per a caution to a bailiff, and to re ceive in return more or less authentic information. The prisoner had been led over tho covered corridor another Bridge of Sighs into tho jail, to await his fate in tho cell where murderers were al ways kept, as the great iron ring in tho centre of the floor, for their better se curing, attested. His counsel had accompanied him to the stairway, and then had turned into the office to have a smoke and a chat as to prospects with his friend tho Sheriff. "Dubious," said that functionary, munching on his cigar. "Tho Judge was agin him from the fust, and the jury seed it." The reporters had with thoir notes, first hurried away arranging for telephone calls when a verdict was reached. High above tho Judge's bench ran a gallery. At the end nearest tho win dows was a door. Before this door sat a court officer, and behind it were tho jury, discussing, and so vigorously, too, that again and anon a mnflled sound would descend to those who waited. These were few in number tho jan itor of tho building, tho clerk, who lived out of town and had brought a lunch with him ; three or four attend ants, tho blind crier, dozing in his chair, and, in tho further comer of tho spectators' seats, au old woman and a young girl. Tho former of theso two was stiff and motionless, her features set sternly, and her eyes burn ing with a fierce desire. The latter was slight and yielding ; sho swaved from tho weakness that terror had brought, and would have rested her head on her companion's arm had not on unrecognized antipathy prevented. There and thus they had tat through out the day, the matron a stone and the maiden a reed. Finally this young girl spoke. "Grandma," she said, "why does that man sit without that door? " "He is on guard, my child, to see that tho jury aro secure and unmo lested." '"But why should they be locked up?" "In order that they may render a verdict and tlius punish the wicked." "But surely each one must have known what he believed when the case was finished, and confining them won't cause them to change. " "No, but discussion may." "Then that would bo yielding to other influences than that of tho evi dence, and that would bo contrary to tho oath they each one took." "Some are strong and sensible, and others are weak and foolish. It is proper that the will of tho former should prevail." "But that wouldn't be their unani mous judgment then, and who cun say but that tho weak and foolish may not sometimes bo right? Besides they must bo hungry aud tired and cross. And when people aro cross they are uufuir. Oh, what a dreadful thing is the low!" "Whnt a dreadful thing rather is murder. Think of. your only brother douo to death by the Barlings. I only wish the old days of drawing aud quar tering had returned." "Oh, do you really believe " "Believe I Don't I kuow? Hain't tho Kuowleses and the Barlings been at odds this fifty years? Didn't the boys quarrel at tho tavern? Haven't we heered tho detectives' stories aud this lad's admission? What if the others did get away ? Ho was there, and he done it as much as them. And the jury will say '.Swing, ' you mark me." "But thero were two who seemed to believe his story." "Them poor critters iu tho back row? They dasseut trust their own feelings in the face of the others. Do you mind that racket? That will set tle their doubts iu short order. Now you shut up, Putty. If I thought that one of my kiu wouldn't rejoice iu tho detith of an enemy, I'd turn her into the street without a shawl to her buck or a shoe to her feet." "Poor, poor Tommy!" sobbed the girl, as she trembled before tho indis tinct sounds of wrangling thut eame from above. Putty Knowlcs shrunk still further away from the stony bosom und the threatening unn, und tried to think, as if thoughtscould bring comfort. It was ull too awful to be rcul ; she must be dreaming; yet why could she not awukeV Wus it true that she, w ith her grandmother, was awaiting iu court the verdict which should shamefully destroy their enemy, and that enemy her old comrade, Tommy Barling? Ah, there were substancec, not thud- aeri g ows, about her ; her mind in its peacc 8ul slumbers had never imagined any thing so cruel 1 Yet ho would bo ac quitted, how could sho doubt, when tho jurymen as well as sho had heard his frank, simple story and had seen the caudor of his beautiful face? Had sho not watched them snd detected expressions of sympathy, of confidence, on at least two of their countenances? And if these men had onoe trusted would they dare to condemn 1 Then, indeed, were not they tho murderers who would Blay for relief from cus tody, from fatigue, or from fonr of thoir associates? Oh, a dreadful thing was this law which beclouded the truth when it was so evident! Hadn't Tommy explained that ho was removing tho obstruction from the track when the "wildcat" so unexpect edly came around the curve and struck it, and was derailed? Couldn't they understand why ho had remained silent when asked how ho happened to be there? Surely, any ono could see that ho had discovered his brothers plot and had striven to ttiwart it, but was now too loyal to im plicate them. Tho idea that Tommv, her gentle, true-hearted Tommy, would connive to slay tho only brother of the girl ho lovod ! And yet, when he had refused to answer, tho Judge, who surely should be impartial in action as well as word, had swung around im patiently in his chair, and the District Attorney had smiled, oh, so ironically, and shrwggcd bis shoulders and said "You seo, gentlemen. See?" . The case which had occupied the Aberdeen Oyer and Terminer for tho past week, was, as the District Attorney had said in his opening, "awful in tho simplicity and directness of its proof, At tho further end of tho county, amid the arid sand plains, tho Barlings and tho Knowlcscs had occupied adjacent farms for many years. Tho railway ran in front of thoir dwellings, and the young men had grown up half farmers. half linemen, gleaning from the two occupations livelihood and recreation. There had boon a constant feud be tween the two families, sprung from some lorgotten trivial cause, nut en hanced into bitterness through paucity of daily interest. There were three Barling boys, of whom Ihomas, the defendant, was tho youngest, and one Knowles, the brother of Patty. This luttcr had encountered ono evening tho two older Barlings at tho village tavern, and a quarrel and a scuffle had ensued. It was the follow ing day that a "wildcat" train, of which young Knowlcs was engineer. was derailed and ho thrown from tho cab and killed. Thomas Barling was seen running away from the place where this accident occurred. His brothers disappeared, but tho dotec tives, incited by liberal rewards, caused tho arrest of the lad, cluiming that it was ho who had set the obstruction on tho track. His presence, his flight, his terror, certain incoherent words which he had uttered on his apprehension, consti tuted the main points of the case against him. His defense had been necessarily brief, consisting of bis youth, good character, and his own story slightly corroborated that he had been en gaged in removing tho obstructions, when the "wildcat," of whose existence ho had not been aware, came around the curve and struck. But on tho question of how ho happened to be thero at just this timo he had remuined silent. Solemnly tho great clock in tho courtroom beat out the dragging mo ments. Ihe bailiffs droned stories and yawned. Tho clerk scribbled on tho bock of papers. Tho crier slept the sleep of childhood and smiled over its reviving scencc. The old woman sat erect, motionless, intent like another Sphynx, awaiting the culmination of burning desires. Perhaps she alone could explain that ancient feud ; per haps when that bosom had been ten der and that arm softly responsive to caresses, an inujry to her beauty had been the dragon's tooth of this future. Perhaps the past now returned to her : for expectuuey huth its panorama of spent, but not dead, emotions. Cer tainly little Patty, as sho saw tho grim luce growing grimmer, grew faint with dread, for iu its lines sho read ven geance upon Tommy and woo for her self. There was a sharp, demanding rap on the door of tho jury room. Its drowsy guardian sprang to his feet and unlocked it. Thero were whispers, aud theu once more the door closed, the bolt was shot, tho sentinel sat at his poHt. Onco more, but with a differ ence. The man no longer lolled. He was big with the consciousness thut every eyo was upon him, big in the possession of a secret which he hud no right to kuow. Ihe great clock ticked waruinglv. for tho hours of excitement aro mo ments. It was nearing tho timo for the Judge's return. Tho clerk set dockets and pen and paper in order. The bailiffs shut windows aud opened doors, and turned up lights and took their stutious. Thero was ono whose post was by the door ut tho eud of tho gullery leadiug to tho jury room, which opened upon tho muiu stairway of the building. The giuirdiuu of the jury room tim his friend, and, us ho passed, whispered a single word. Tho bailiff stepped to his place und beyond. He leaned over tho ruil and gazed down into tho gloomy corridor. The front door swung open, a dignified form entered. Ho recognized it, ami iu au .instant wus leaping down the stairs. Aud iu unother instant Judge Grcciigoods knew ut what verdict the jury hud arrived, knew thut tho solemn words which he hud mentally urrungod during his wulk thither hud not been marshaled in vain. Many sharp eyes had noticed tho passing of that single word from officer to officer, aud ere tho crier hud begun his souorous pruclaiustion, bailiff's and attorneys and Sheriff mil prisoner knew that the verdict was "guilty.,' Patty knew it, too, for she had watched that guardian at the door as if he held tho portals of her happiness. Patty knew it, and a great sob swelled in her heart and hardened into a resolution. In this moment of extremity, when human and Divine powers had coalesced against him, she would bo by her old playmate's side to comfort, to sustain, to bless! She looked at her grandmother. Thnt expectant gnzo had not yet changed into triumph. "I will go a little closer, so that. I can find out," sho said, and the old lady nodded an eager approval. Down the narrow iron stairway along tho wall came tho jury swaggering, hesitating, stuttering. Potty leaned against the littlo door of tho railing which divided the courtroom, thus separating tho goats of spectators from the sheep of tho bar, and studied the faces as they passed. Stolid, im movable for tho most part ; but there wero two that seemed worried and dubious, and they were the faces of the two men in whom sho had put her trust. Oh, cowards ! Why hod they not preserved tho courage of their convictions or why had they put them selves in a position where faint heartedness is a crime? Tho jury took their seats, theso two men in the places which they had occupied during the trial, Nos. 7 and 8 in the rear row, directly behind tho foreman. From tho anteroom came Tommy, and sat by his lawyer along side of the table in front of the Judge's bench. How pale he was, but how quiet, how stern ! Was it possible that those hps which had ever curled in smiles could be so firm? Why one might be afraid of him, that is, one who didn't love him as she did ! Patty brushed a tear from her cheek as sho gazed ; it seomed as if he wero already dead, and that it was his cold gray shado that now appeared. "Call the roll, Mr. Clerk," said Judge Groongoods, and, as that func tionary obeyed, each juryman answered "Present" complacently so, too, ex cepting Nos. 7 and 8, who looked as if they wished very much they wero else where. No. 7 was a tall, slender, bent young man, awkward and bashful, who was perpetually blushing, either bo cause people were looking at him or becauso he imagined they were. He also stammered. No. 8 was a short, thick-set, aggressive-appearing old gentleman, very deliberate in action, slightly deaf, but ever ready to slay any ono who imputed such a defect to him. Consequently, No. 7 dropped into a pool of stuttering, whero he hopelessly floundered, and No. 7 shouted "Here" some time after the clerk had noted tho attendance. "Stand up," said tho clerk to the prisoner. And Tommy arose and stood with foldod arms, a fragile yet in trepid Ajttx defying tho lightning. But, oh, it was dark about him ; if thero might bo but a single ray of sym pathy, then ho could endure. Tho court officer at the littlo gate was nat urally more interested in tho proceed ings than in his duty. Ho moved for ward, and Patty slipped within the rail. "Let the prisoner look upon the jury ; let the jury look upon tho pris oner," continued tho clerK. "Gen tlemen of tho jury, have you agreed upon y mr verdict Tho foreman dropped his hat and foldod his overcoat ucd struggled to his feet. In that silent instant of suspense thero was a fluttering sound, and Putty flew to her old playmate's side. Sho throw one arm about his neck, and stood with the other ex tended toward the jury box like i guardian angel performing her mission, Sho upraised her face glowing with with light of love, and Tommy bent bis head and kissed her tremulous lips. "Wo havo," answered the foreman. "We find the prisoner" but here arose confusion. From the touching tableau Nos. 7 and 8 sprang forward on either side, both noisy, incoherent, and in dignant. From the spectators' space an ancient fury with blazing eyes and twitching fingers was menacingly ad vanemg. "Silence! Order!" cried Judge ureengoods, rapping sharply, and the crier reiterated his command. Tho builiffs rushed to their posts, Ono caught the grandmother at tho littlo gato and forced her bock ; another gently placed Fatty iu a chuir, but she leaned against the prisoner und clung to his band and unuointed it with her tears. Once more tho silence of suspense prevailed. "Wo find him guilty, your Honor. blurted the foreman. "Or at leust I thought wo diil, but theso two gentle men seem to object. 1 hen again there was confusion. Tho District Attorney, his assistant, tho defendant's counsel wero on their feet together and talking at once. 'hit down ! thundered Judge flreou- goods. "Mr. Clerk, poll that jury." "(unity, auswered tho foromun in response to his name, uud guilty answered tho succeeding five. Theu cuiuo No. 7's turn. Hespruug forwurd, apoplectic with dctenuiuution to ex press himself uud for oncouueouscious of his own personality. "Not guilty," he screamed, "and I've been trying to sav so ever since wo retired. Then No. 8 deliberutelyset each foot iu place and arose. "Your Honor," he said, "1 am thoroughly convinced of tho defendant's innocence, snd I uu- lerstood thut we all wero. I um a nun, sir, Uot upt to bo mistaken, und thero must bo some chicunery ut work lore. 1 solemnly protest uguinst the verdict us given by tho foreman, aud 1 to say thut 1 um prepared to luuiu- luin my judgment lor mo rem ol my nuturul life. " "It is evident, your IIoiior,"suid the prisoner's counsel, "that thero has been a luistrvid. 1 would ask thut the jury bo dismissed ami tho defendant released on his ovu recognizance, un lesH, indeed, my louincd brother will agree to an ord'-r of nolle prosequi " 'Never," exeluiiiiod tho District Attorney with on oratorical swing. "Never. 1 have a duty, sir, a sacred duty thut I owe to the people of this great commonwealth which sustains me." "There, there !" interrupted Judge Greongnods, "of course, of course. I dismiss tho jury ami continue the case unto tho next term. The prisoner is remanded without bail. Adjourn court, Mr. Crier," and with a very dis satisfied expression contorting his reg ular features "his honor" hastened away to his club. Tho Sheriff led his prisoner away. Tho lights were turned out nud the great building whs left to the ghosts of sorrows and tho echoes of sobs. And littlo Patty driving home with her wrathful grandmother dared smile through her tears. But before the next term news came of tho violent death of the elder Bar ling boys in a foreign land and of their prior confession and assertion ot their brother's innocence. The grim jail yielded up its captive, and tho cell where murderers had been chained knew his guileless naturo no more. Impotent rage increased tho weight of yeari until they crushed tho grand mother into her grave. Tho feud be tween the two families was buried with her, and over their joint farms Patty Barling now presides as a happy mis tress. New York Times. WISE WORDS. Hasty marriage seldom proveth well. Self-respect that cornerstone of all virtue. Thero is no malice like the malice of tho renegade. Tho absence of temptation is tho absence of virtue. No man who needs a monument ever ought to havo one. No nation can be destroyed whilo it possesses a good home life. Out of clothes, out of countenance ; out of countenance, out of wit. The lowest people are generally tho first to find foult with show of equipoge. As soon go kindlo fire with snow as seek to quench tho fire of lovo with words. What is becoming in behavior is honorable, and what is honorablo is becoming. Be thou the first trno merit to bo- friend ; his praise is lost who waits till all commend. It is vain to trust in wrong : as much of evil so much of loss, is tho foi inula of human history. Ho who observes tho speaker moro than tho sound of his words will seldom meet with disappointments. A politician weakly and amiably right is no match for a politician tenaciously and pugnaciously in tho wrong. Men seldom, or rather, never, for a length of time and deliberately rebel against anything that does not deserve rebelling against. All Incident in Edison's Early Life. Iu telegraphy, operators ure taught ; receivers must bo born. Equipped by nature ana training, .bdison gave ui tho newsboy life, in which ho had earned in four years S20UU, tho greater part of which ho gave to his lmrcuts, Now began his migratory career as a telegraph operator. Muuy ups aud downs wero his. Often ho was cold, hungry, uud shelterless, for tho insati able impulse to experiment to tho neg lect of his duties kept him continually out of work. Ono duy ho reveled iu the praises his ingenuity evoked ; tho next, he was dubbed "Luny" and turned adrift. Perhaps his most ingenious boyhood leat was performed during un ice jam thnt broke the cubic between Port Huron iu Michigan and Surnia in Canada. The river at this point is u mile and a half wide. The ice made tho river impassable, and there was no wuy of repairing tho cable. Ldison impulsively jumped on a loco motive and seized tho vulve controlling the whist lo. Ho had au idea thut the blasts of tho whistle might bo broken into long and short sounds, corres ponding to tho dots and dashes of telogruphy. In a moment the whistle sounded over tho river : Toot, toot, toot, toot toot, toooot toooooot toooooot toot, tool toot, toot. "Hullo-o, Suriiiu ! Do you get mo?" "Do you hear whut 1 say?" No answer. "Do you bear whut I say, Surnia?" A third, fourth, aud fifth time the message went across, to receive no re sponse, r luully, tho operutor on the other side uudcrstood. Answering toots" came cheerfully buck, ami tho connection was established. St. Nicholas, Cured by Laughter. Laughter bus often dissipated dis ease und preserved life by a ftnddcu effort of nature. We ure told thut the grout Erasmus laughed so heartily ut suiiricai remark that ho broke a tumor aud recovered his health. Iu a singular tmitiso on "laughter," Joubert gives two similar instances. A patient heiugvery low, the physician, who hud ordered a dose of rhuburb. counterniuudod the medicine, which was li ft on tho tuble. A monkey iu the room jumping up, discovered tho goblet, uud having tasted, mudo u terrible grimace. Again nuttiiii onlv his tongue to it, he perceived some sweetness of the dissolved niauna. while the rhuburb had sunk to the tottoiii. Thus cmboldi lied, ho swid- wod the whole, but found it such u nauseous potion thut, utter muuy ntruuge und funtustio griinuees, he ground his tooth iu ugony, uud in u violent fury threw tho goblet on tho floor. The whole affair was ho ludicrous thut the sick niuu burst into repcuted peals of laughter, and the rocoverv of heerfuluess led to hculth. New York Ledger. "Would we hetuhnt Would we rntum Ifonff th" gates whlnh closed upon th9 past Were oponwf wide for us, and If the dnr Bomembered pathwny stretched bo'oro t i clear To lead us back to youth's lost Innd at lask, When on life April shadows lightly cart, Heoallod the old sweet days of childish fjr With all their faded hopes, ond brought anenr The for off streams with which our ckies wero glassed ; Did these lost dreams which wake tho soul's sad yearning But live once more and wnib-d our roturnias', Would wo return? 1'iobcrt Burns Wilsox HUM On OF THE PAY. Good luek is the best nerve food. In nt the death The heir-npporent. Truth. A model young lady Tho ono who poses for an artist. Jagson says ho has no objection to a foreign air if it is disinfected. Klmirn Gazette. Antiquity is tho thing which wo ara going to bo a thousand years hence. Ram's Horn. The woman who vows that she has "waited for an ago" never confesses to it in her years. Hope is tho smiling personage who presents us with a bill-of-furo when wo haven't a cent in our pocket. World's Fair Puck. Landlord "You should always pay as you go, young man." Impecunious Boarder "True, but I don't intend to go for six monthsyet. "--Bost on Gazette. "When I was young wo prepared students for lifo ; now we prepare them for examinations," is a bit of truth from Jules Simon. Medical Record. If all things come to those who wait, Then wide must be the range Of things to cotne to those who stop In dry goods stores for change. Buffalo Courier. Mr. Foster Tightest "Say ! let mo havo that fivo I loaned yon last niht, willyou?" Mr. Spender "Man alive, I haven't had timo to Bpoud it yet." Brooklyn Lifo. Lato revelens singing "Thero's No riace Like Homo" always stop their melody just before they get thero and creep upstairs in their stocking feet. Boston Transcript. He (maliciously) "It in only tho fomale mosquito that onuQys people." Sho (musingly) "I notice that you tako a groat delight iu mushing them." Indianapolis Journal. Skiggs "Must, be something inter esting. What is it?" Skaggs "Long aocount telling how a man was robbed on a car." Skiggs "Humph! Wag ner or Pullman?" Buffalo Courier. Charley "So, Jim, you wero -extravagant enough to pay J0 a dozen for your handkerchiefs. Don't you think that was a good deal of money to blow in?" Columbus Spectator. "One of you boys has been stealing raisins again ; I havo found the seeds on tho floor. Which ono of you was it?" Tommy "It wasn't me ; I swal lowed tho seeds iu mine." Tit-Bits. Tommy (at tho Fuir) "Mumma, what makes all the guards wear straps under their chins?" Mamma (tirod out) "I think it is to keep them from, asking questions." Chicago Inter Ocean. Ho "What kind of a ntory did that tramp trump up to got his breukfust?" She "None at all. Ho said he'd seen a good many babies, but our Teddy . wasahoadof thorn all." Chieigo Inter Ocoan. Teacher "Now, Tommy, if you wero a man and had $2000, aud you wanted to buy a house worth 10,000, whut would you do?" Tommy "I guess I'd try und nnirrv somo woman with $8000." Texas Sittings. Drill Sergeant (to recruit) "I've told you forty times that yon must staud up as straight as if you had swal lowed a ramrod. Instead of that you appear to havo swallowed half a dozen Turkish scimiturs. " Texas Siftiugs. Ho "Is thero auvthing I can do to Jirovo my ufToction so that you will not loubt it?" She "There is. Marry my sister. Sho iu older than I. ond mamma is determined to not let mo marry till sister is disposed of. " In diunapolis Journal. Mr. Wickwiro "I notice thit Jules Voruo is sixty-six vcur old and has written just sixty-six books." Mrs. Wickwiro "Well, that is not so ninny. ile only Im I to write at the rale of one book u veur to do that." 1 ndii'.uupolis Journal. Doctor "What you need is moro exercise. nut business do you fol low?" Patient "I am a bricklayer." "Humph! I should think you would get u.l tho oxoreiso you required, but your symptoms indioato thut vou arc f a sedentary disimsit ion. " "Well, you see. Doctor, I work bv the duv." "All, that explains it. "--Texas .Sift iugs. Irf'iiirili of the World's liny. At Stockholm, Sweden, tho longest :lay is 18 J hours iu length; at Soitz- borgen it is throe and a half mouths. At Londou, Euglaud, uud Bremen. 1'riiBiia, tho longest day has l'.lj hours. At Hamburg, (.iermuuv, and Duutziu. Prus'iiu, tho loupes' day bus seventeen lours. At urdbury. Norwuv. tlu longest day last i from May 21 to Julv 2J, without ineri-upli.iu. At bt. l'e- leriibur, ltvi-j.i.i aid Tobotisk, Sibe ria, tho lcn,to.,t duy ia nineteen hours m I the uhort-.'st live hours. At Tor- , Fiuluil. Juno l?l brings u ilay nearly twenty-two ho.ws long, ami hlist'ji'Ki ono 1j than ti:roo hours i: Ion th. At Now York tho lougout day is about flfton hours; at Montreal, 'diitt U, it la si.tjii hours. Chicago Herald.