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VOL. XXV. NO. 49. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAItCII 29, 1893. S1.50 PER ANNUM.
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i
T tailing Gorman general predict
big war in Europe at an early day.
Professor Huxley know of no a priori
reason "why snake-bodied reptiles fifty
feet long and upward should not diaport
themselves in our deal as they did in
tbose of the cretaceous epoch."
A National literature on roads it grad
'uully growing up In this country, and
. the Pittiburg Dispatch thinki the sub'
jeet should be given a prominent place
in public school education in consonance
with its great Importance.
It is probable, predicts ViMSan Fran
cisco Chronicle, that the device for di.
. pensing with the services of telegraph
operators will bo like the macbino for
setting type. Human ingenuity can go
a long way, but it cannot furnish brains,
and brains aru very essential in telegra
phy. According to the Courior-Journal the
great scramble for gold is now regarded
. in Europe as a sign that European peace
it soon to bo broken. Oold is not only
being locked up in tho Imperial Treasury
of Russia, but in storehouses of other
continental Governments, and the feel
ing of auxicty on this account is wide
spread. A Presidential iuAuguration costs less
than au ordinary Congressional funeral.
Tho total cost of President Harrison's
inauguration was 13520.50. The cost
of a funeral varies from $ 3000 to any
thing you please, according to the dis
tance over which tho Congressional
maimers meander and tho greed of
local undertakers and livery stable keep
ers. This country is now building first
class war ships ut loner prices than the
war ships of Eugluud are now costing.
The Boston Cultivator boasts that we
r,muko ships, too, equal to any that
English navy yards turu out. Perhaps
our methods of shipbuilding have leu
red tape arid corruption about them.
Our Government is in most point run
far less expensively Ibau any monarchy
in Europe, and iu the lighter taxation
which the people of this country pay it
ona of the causes of our greater pros
perity." Charles Mohr, of the United States
Forestry Buresu, has an article in the
Engineering Magazine, which demands
the attention of Southern legislators. Be
says stupendous as the timber resources
of the South appear, it can but bo evi
dent to anyone conversant with the facts
' that we have entered already upon an era
involving their complete extinction, and
be vividly points out tho threatening cal
amities that will follow the disappearance
of jur forests, not only in the extinction
of one of the South' important indus
tries, but in the climatic changes that are
already, perhaps, beginning to make
themselves felt. . ,
Persons who are inclined to take a
gloomy view of pauperism and crime in
New York, would do well, suggests the
News, of that city, to glance at the of
ficial reports of the municipality of Lon
don. The two years ending January 1,
1891, the date of the last biennial re
port, the cost of maintaing the paupers
of London was 2,340,000, the equiva
lent of about $11,700,000. During the
two years there were 109,748 criminal
convictions. Wuilo these figures show
that the percentage of crime and pauper
ism in London greatly exceeds that of
New York, the same report indicates a
much lower perccutago of attendance in
the public schools.
A story from the Pall Mall Gazette was
recently priuted iu the New York Tri
bune, to the - effect that the great com
parative anatomist, Sir Kichard Owen,
identified as a pig's thigli-boue an osse
ous specimen sent bim for that purpose
by Lord John Russell, who afterward
so it was stated declared that it came
from what purported to be a bear's bam
presented by President Buchanan of the
Uuited States. The Minneapolis Tri
bund, ignoring tho possibility of a sub
stitution iu transit, ask: "Did our ante
bellum President willfully deceive Lord
Johu, was the eminent comparative an
atomist, at fault for once, or has the Pall
Mall Gazette a talented liar on its staff!"
Within the past two years a number of
reefs and islands in the Pacitic Ocean,
long known to mariners, have disap
peared from view, leaving no evidence
that they ever existed. No one under
stands tho pbeuomenin, unless it ba that
here and there the floor of the ocean has
subsided with uuusual rapidity, though
not with such violeuco as to be betrayed
by the agitatiou of the sea. The fact is
simply known that these stretches of reef
or bits of land, some of them rising from
the depths, and all marked on the charts,
cau uu longer lie found. One or two war
ships, with orders to visit some of these
places, havo cruise 1 arouud in great be
wilderment, uuaolu to liud the objects of
their 4 Jest.
The Sunday -School Magazine, of
Philadelphia, says that while San Fran
cisco has a population of 300,000, its
churches will seat only 55,000 people.
Oklahoma has just adopted a code of
maritime laws. The Atlanta Constitu
tion avert that there is not a body of
water In the Territory over a foot deep.
With a population of 215,000, Mon
treal baa a debt of $19,000,000, or $88
per bead. Little wonder, comments the
San Francisco Examiner, that Cana
dians should be crossing the border. It
must be cheaper to move than pay taxes.
The St. Louis Republic takes no ttock
in the theory of the overproduction of
cotton. It says that when the Southern
farmers raise all their foodstuff they can
not produce too much cotton. But
the trouble it that they will not raise
all thoir foodstuff for a long time to
come.
A Denver boarder made disparaging
remark about the cooking set before
him, and much to his amusement the
landlady sued him for $20,000. His
merriment died away when the jury
brought in a verdict for. $750, and he
has put in his time since in wondering
what there ever was in the episode to
strike him as humorous.
Pork is dearer now than it has been in
ten years, or since Bismarck began to
make war on the American bog. This is
doubtless in part due to the opening of
European markets to our pork. With
better prices for pork beans have also
advanced, and the traditional Now Eng
land dish of pork and beans has now to
be paid for by those who would enjoy it.
The - London Graphic has a portrait
and sketch of Potara, a Maori ctnniba1,
who. is eighty-five years old and still hat
a good tet of natural teeth. He has not
eaten a white man since 1816. He
speaks well of white folks, but for a
steady diet prefers a Maori, as the
whites, or "Pakehas," have "a salty an 1
bitter flavor." Potara must have a re
tentive memory of his tastes.
The statement published by the New
York Sun of Consul Roosevelt at Brussels
that it has been found profitable to ship
cargoes of horse meat from this city to
Belgium to supply the tablet of the poorer
classes may be newt to most New York
ers. A good horsesteak is not unpalat
able, and though it edibility was dis
covered rather late in the day, thousand
of working people in Europe are now
glad to pay a little over six cents a pound
for it. Beef is entirely beyond their
means, and so is the varied bill of fare
tbat most working people in this favored
land enjoy every day.
In the opinion of the Chicago Herald
"the criminal art gallery is the worst
fruit tbat hat been produced by g ifting
civilization en barbarism. It is bad
enough to have the portrait of a convict
ed felon placed on exhibition for all the
world to see, even after he shall have
expiated his crime by serving bis term
of imprisonment. If he should desire to
return to honest life the ineffaceable
lines of his countenance in the pictures
of the rogue' gallery are a standing and
damning imputation against him.
Either there should be no rogues' gal
lery, or every rogue, whether under po
lice protection or not, should havo a
piace in the spectacular display of por
traits." Italy expends every year $96,000,000
for her soldiers, and lets than $4,000,000
for schools. In Spain it costs $100,000,
000 to main the army, and only $1,600,
000 to educate the children; but then, it
is the exception to find a Spauish farmer
who is able to read or write. Germany
boasts of being in the foremost rank
among the Nations in the Eulturkampf
of the world; yet she expends $185,
000,000 on her army, while $10,000,000
is deemed sufficient for the education of
her children. France maintaius an army
at an expense of $151,000,000 and sup
ports her schools with $21,000,000.
The United States expend $115,000,000
for public schools, while the army and
navy cost only $54,000,000.
Every one that has observed the treat
ment of private soldier in European ar
mies knows how like cattle they are re
garded. Not long ago, relate the Buf
falo Courier, a saddle race was arranged
between officers of the Austrian and
Prussian armies, the course lying from
Vienna to Berliu. A number of horses
were killed in this trial of endurance.
Recently the Austrian Government ha
been drilling soldiei in the field, with
the thermometer at eighteen below zero,
in order to test the relative endurance of
the Austrians, Hungariaus,and Poles in
tue service. In determining this point
to the satisfaction of the Government,
1144 soldiers had their hands or feet
badly frozen. These things are not likely
to lessen the stream of emigration to
America.
MORNING OF THE DI3COVHRY.
Immortal Morn, all hall,
Tbat saw Columbus sail
By faith alone.
The skies before him bowe l,
Back rolled the ocean proud.
And every lifting oloud
With glory shonel
Fair Seienoe then was bora
On that celestial morn,
Faith dared the sea.
Triumphant o'er her foes,
Then Truth immortal rose
New Heavens to disclose
Ani Earth to free I
Strong Freedom then came forth
To liberate the earth
And crown the right.
Bo walked the pilot bold
Upon the sea ot gold,
And darkness backward rolled,
And there was light I
Sweep, sweep across the seas,
Ye rolling jubilees,
Grand chorals raise;
The world adoring stands,
And with uplifted hands
Offers from all the lands
To God its praise I
Ye hosts of Faith, sing on;
The victories ye have won
Shall time Increase,
And like t ,e choral strain
Tbat fell on Bethlehem's plain.
Inspire the perfect reign
Of Love and Peace I
H. Butterwortb, in Home and Country.
"COUSIN FRED."
BY AUY RANDOLPH.
T was a stormy twi
light in February,
the air full of the
dreary atmosphere of
a newly fallon snow,
the huge pine trees
of the northern
wood? writhing them
selves about like
giants In extremis,
and the Maryville
stage bad just come
in with two passen
ger.
Ladies, both of them; one, apparently
thirty years old, the other, scarcely sev
enteen; and as they sal thore warming
themselves by the hotel fire, the landlord
touched his wife's shoulder, ana whls
peredtober: "FurrinerBl"
For there was something in the cnt of
their curious fur lined draperies, the
shape of their neat crapn hats, the very
way in which they unconsciously carried
themselves, which was as foreign as the
Marseillaise itself, although there was
no accent in their voices as they ques
tioned wbether any conveyance from
Barnet Hill had been sent to meet them.
And the landlord was right; for Gene'
vieve and Gencvra Bui lace were the
daughters of American parentage, born
in sunny Franco. Orpbaued and alone,
they were coming to America to claim
the prot.-ction of a relative of their
mothers, "Cousin Fred," as they bad
been taught to call bim.
"Do you suppose he will be good to
us? tienevra, the dimpled seventeen
year-older, asked, as she sat with her
cheek acainst Genevieve s shoulder.
"I hope so, darling," said the elder
titter. "No one but a brute could be
unkind to you."
For little golden haired, rose lipped
Genevra was one of those human sun
beams who take every heart by storm,
and in her deep mourning, she looked
even tweeter and more attractive than
ber ordinary wont. And dark eyed
Genevieve, thirteen years older than her
sister, bad long ago uusellishly put aside
her own personality ana identified her
self entirely with tue household pet ana
beauty.
"I wonder if he it a cross old crab,"
pondered Genevra, at she drank the tea
brought to ber by the landlady, and
basked in the welcome warmth of the
blazing logs, "or a whimsical old bachel
or, full of caprices. Ob, Genevieve!
Don't you dread to meet him?"
Genevieve smiled.
"Little one," said she, "don't fret.
Whatever happens, we shall be together,
and"
But just then, the landlord came bust
ling in.
"The doublo sleigh from Barnet Hill,
ladies," be said, rubbing his hands.
"And Mr. Barnet himself has come."
Close on the landlord's words came
Mr. Barnet, of Baruet Hill, a tall, band
some man of about thirty, with bright
brown hair clustering over a noble fore
bead, keen black eyes and features clear
and perfect as those of tho Apollo Belvi
deie. "Are these my cousins?'1 he said,
pleasantly. "You are welcome to Bjr
net, Genevieve and Genevra."
Instinctively, little Genevra put her
band to her disheveled curls. Had sho
expected to see any one but a wrinkled
old sexagenarian, she would have taken
more pains with her toilet. But Gene
vieve rose and smilingly put her hand
into the extended palm of her cousiu.
It was a long, snowy drive to Barnet
Hill, but Genevra declared, joyously,
tbat it was worth it all, when they were
ushered into the great, old fashioned
drawing room with its blazing cannel
coal fires, its yellow satin curtains and
the moss-soft carpet on which the- foot
fall made no sound.
"Do you know," said Cousin Fred,
laughing, "that I was expecting to see
two little school girls in short frocks aud
thick boots?"
"And do you know," retorted Geuev
ra, "tbat our minds were fully prepared
to behold a rheumatic old gentleman
with a crutch?"
And in fifteen minutes they were on
the footing of old friends.
But they had scarcely lived six months
at Barnet Hill before the inevitable
"little cloud like a tnau's baud" arose
on their atmosphere.
"Genevieve," said Mr. Barnet, rather
gravely, one day. "I wish you would
warn dear little Gypsy against that
Captain Allaire. He's a pleasant, amus
ing fellow, I know; but he's scarcely
the person I should select for any girl'
husband."
"Yes, Cousin Fred, I will speak to
her," laid Genevieve, sighing softly as
the wondered what spell Genevra pos
sessed to win all hearts to herself, from
stately Cousin Fred to the handsome
dashing young captain of artillery.
"But have you reasoned with her on the
subject?"
"Half a dozen times," said Barnet.
"But she only laugbt at me."
Genevieve was silent. She wondered
if popular rumor was correct, and
Frederio Barnet really did love little
Genevra to hopelessly so dearly.
Genevra came home late tbat evening
in the rosy sunset, with tcarlet wild-
flowers in ber hair.
"I have been to the village," the said,
"with Captain Allaire."-
"Oh, Genevra I" pleaded the elder sis
tor. "When Fied thinks"
"I don't care what Fred thinks," in
terrupted the beauty, with a toss of her
head.
"Listen, Genevieve, I have a secret to
tell you; I was married to Captain Al
laire this afternoon? '
"Married?"' echoed Genevieve.
"Oh, Genevra I"
"Look at my wedding ring," said the
wild little gypsy, holding up her pretty,
taper finger. "Yes, married really and
actually married I I am Mrs. Allaire
now,'' with an amusing assumption of
matronly dignity.
"But Cousin Fred"
"Cousin Fred may help himself if he
can," said Genevra, audaciously. "Per
haps yon don't know, Jenny, that Cousin
Fred himself means to be married very
toon.
Genevieve turned pale.
"Genevral" cried she. "You can't
mean that?"
"Poor little Genevieve 1" consoled
Genevra. "But you will not lose your
home. You must come and live with me
and Charley."'
"I could not do that," said Genevieve,
giddy and confused with the unexpected
succession of startling news, "I I
must look out for a situation in some
school or as companion or nursery gov
erness I But oh, Genevra, are you quite
sure about Fred?"
"I heard the old housekeeper talking
to the coachman, when I was waiting,
down behind the shrubbery, for Captain
Allaire to come," said Genevra, with a
nod of her pretty head. "She laid he
had told her himsell and bad instructed
ber what rooms to prepare and what al
terations to make in the household ar
rangements, for his coming marriage."
"I wonder who it can be," said Gene
vieve, sadly.
"Miss Hilyard, of course," said Gen
evra, "or else tbat beautiful Mrs. St,
Dean. Bat the least thing he could
have done was to have confided in us, I
think, and that's one reason I decided
to elope. And Charley is coming up
this evening, and we are to tako the train
to St. Vincent, and, oh, dear Jenny,"
with a burst of sparkling tears, "the
world is so full ot. happiness to raet"
And Genevieve could but caress the
beautiful, willful young creature who
had taken life a helm so recklessly into
her bands, and hope, in a choking voice,
that she might be very, very happy.
Cousin Fred listened very philosophic
ally to Genevra's confession, half an hour
later.
"Married, are you?" said he. "Well,
if you had asked my advice, I should
have given a contray verdict. But, as
you didn't consult me, why, I shall have
to be like the 'heavy fathers' on the
stage and give you myjilessinir. Allaire
is a clever fellow enough, although he
has been very gay, and I hope you will
steady bim down, at last."
80, the newly married pair went away,
as thoughtlessly happy as two school
children out for a picnic, and Genevieve
was left atone with Fred, to wonder how
she could best break to bim the resolu
tion at which she had arrived. For she
knew tha she could never remain at the
Hill when beautiful Mrs. St. Dean or
Alicia Hilyard should either of them be
the mistress there.
"It would kill me," she thought,
clasping ber hands. "Yes, it would kill
me I"
Mr. Barnet bad turned kindly to her.
and led ber to a seat beside the win
dow.
"You are pale, Genevieve," be said.
"Your hands are as cold as ice. Surely,
you do not take this mad freak of little
Gypsy's to bitterly to heart? Never
fear for ber; she's a butterfly who will sip
honey from all life's garden ground.
Her nature is light and Irothy; far dif
ferent, Genevieve, from yours. Sit
down, little cousin; I hate much to say
to you."
"Now," thought poor Genevieve,
with her color changiug from scarlet to
white "now it is coming I I shall be
politely dismissed from the only home I
have!"
And a sensation of indescribable lone
liness passed through her heurt as she
pictured Genevra radiantly happy with
her captain of artillery, Cousin Fred
secure in the love of soma stately and
beautiful woman, herself only left out iu
the cold of life's dreariest vale, an un
loved and solitary old maid. But she
spoke nothing of all these sickening
fears; only looked at him, with wistful
dark eyes, in silence.
"Gonevieve," said he, "do you think
it would be a wild and foolish dream for
me to think of marriage?''
"You? Oh, no," she answered, try
ing to smile.
"But 1 am three and thirty."
"You are only in the prime and full
ness of life," she responded "for a
man. With women," sighing softly,
"everything is so different. But,
Cousin Fred, if you really intend marry
ing "I really do," he said, smiling gravely.
"Then I shall not bo longer in your
way," she said valiantly. "1 will leave
Baruet Hill at once."
"But t hit's just what I don't waut
you to do, Uenevieve," be said, with ber
hand still closely held in his. "Dear,
solemn little woman, It it possible that
you don t comprehend what I mean?"
"you think," with a startled look,
"that I can be useful about the bouse?"
"Must I say it In to many words,
Genevieve," ho asked. "Shall I go
lown 00 my knees, like the horoes of
romance, and say : 'Sweetheart, will you
be my wife?' "
Genevieve started to ber feet In a
panic.
"Do you really mean mcl" cried Gen
evieve.
"I really mean you," he said, reso
lutely, holding her fast, when she would
have flown from him. "Little girl, then
you never have suspected how dearly I
love you I"
And Genevieve, clasping both hands
over her eyes, could scarcely persuade
herself that all this was not a dream, a
beautiful, blissful yet baseless dream.
Mrs. St. Dean was no longer a rival 1 She
had nothing to fear from Alicia Hilyard I
Cousin Fred loved her, and her alone I
Cousin Fred bad always loved her I
So they were married; and wheef Gen
evra knew it she cried out, laughing:
"Well, there is hope for the oldest of
old maids, now that our Jenny is mar
ried 1"
For this teventeen-yesr-old beauty
could hardly realize that true love exists
for anyone over twenty years old I The
Lcdgsr.
SCIENTIFIC ANII INDUSTRIAL.
To make ice by artificial means re
quires one ton of coal to produce from
from five to ten tons of Ice.
A large tewing machine, weighing
three and one-fourth tons, is in use in
Leeds, England. It sews cotton belt
irg. The average weight of the Chinese
brain is said to be heavier than the
average weight of the brain in any other
race.
Hard coal loses eight per cent, in
bulk per annum when exposed to the
weather. Soft coal loses twelve per
cent.
Experiments have shown that a pump
kin will lift two and one-half tons, pro
vided the weight is placed to as to
interfere with the growth and develop
ment of the vegetable.
The temperature of the Mediterra
nean at 200 fathoms it about fifty-six de
grees, and no change is lound in going
to the bottom, which in places reaches a
depth of 1500 fathoms.
M. Cbappuis'i proposed electric rail
way through the Simpion Pass it esti
mated to cost $8,000,000, and it would
greatly reduce the distance between
Italy and Northern Europe.
The cost of the observatory which is
now being built on the top of Mont
Blanc, Switzerland, is estimated at $60,
000. Part of the building it to be made
available for guides and tourists.
The central Sahara registers a mean of
ninety-seven degrees in July. Central
Australia boasts of ninety-four degrees in
January, a mean which is attained in
South Carolina and Inner Arabia in mid
summer. A British scientist recently stated that
if a man woighiug 140 pounds were
placed under a hydraulic press and
squeezed flat, the result would be 105
pounds of water and thirty-five pounds
of dry residue.
A laboratory for tba study, under
strict scientific conditions, of snake poi
sons and cures for snake bitet it to be
established in Calcutta. It is to be
founded by a native, and will bo the
only institution of its kind in the
world.
An excellent method for waterproof
ing the surface of a wa'l is to cover it
with a solution of soap. After twenty
four hours a coat of lime solution is ap
plied. This process is repeated several
times, and is claimed to mike the wall
perfectly water tight.
The researches of many observers, at
reported upon by Dr. Bucban, show that
the ocean currents cause the toraperature
of the west side of the Atlantic, at
depths from 100 to 500 fathoms to be
nearly ten degrees warmer than at the
same depths on the east side.
M. Marcey, tbe well known investiga
tor of animal movements by moans of in
stantaneous photography and the zoc
trope, has now succeeded in rendering
tbe beating of a living heart visible to
the eye. All the phases of the move
ment can be followed and properly ex
amined by this new method. The heart
employed in this experiment was that of
a turtle.
Otiicial statistics of the colera epidem
ic in Germauy last year, and up to its
practical disappearance, show that the
number of deaths from cholera was
8510. Nine-tentbi practically of this
number were in the city and State of
Hamburg, where the total number of
was 7011 1-22 per cent, of the whole
population. (The statistics show that
tiie cholera spread up the rivers from the
center around Hamburg with diminish
ing virulence.
Pi.ch pine beams will shrink in thick
ness from eighteen aud three-quarter
inches to eighteen aud a quarter; spruce
from eight and a half inches to eight
and thiee-eights; white pine from
twelve inches to eleven and seven
eighths; yellow pine a trifle less.
Cedar beams will shrink from a width
of fourteen inches to thirteen and a
quarter; elm from eleven to ten fund
three-quarters, and oak from twelve to
eleven .and three-eights.
Onyx Mine In Washington.
A vein of onyx was discovered in Gar
field County, Washington, recently
which the report of au expert miner
alogist who visited and examined the
And a week or so since shows to bo of
considerable extent and probable value.
The possible extent of the mines m 1000
acres, tud openings for a mile show a
ten-foot vein. The people of the vicinity
claim that their couuly is possessed of
tbe only onyx mines in the Uuited Slate.
Chicago Times,
TIIE FIGHTING DERVISHES.
60NS OF THE DESERT WHO ARB
UTTERLY FEABLE88.
Char gins; Upon FIre-W ailed Square
ot Kngllnh Soldiery With Heck
leu Bravery.
IT is easier to turn a hungry tiger
aside from his prey than thor
oughly excited Dervish from bit
swoop on an enemy, writes a cor
respondent on the London Telegraph.
His half brother in fanaticism and creed,
the Indian or Afghan Ghazi, it terrible,
but the African and Arab Dervish it
superlatively awtul, with an incurable
delirium for his opponent's gore.
Howling and whirling Dervishes, such
as travelers are "specially conducted to
see when visiting the East," are a com
paratively harmless sort of lunatics com
paied with those types of the African
bigots who, "converted" to Mahdism,
burn to run amuck with the rest of the
unbelieving humanity. Once fairly bit
ten with the tarantula of Moslem sectar
ian zeal, the proselyte is consumed with
the belief that the delights of the
seventh or any number of heavens await
him if he can only engage in sturdy,
steady butchery with "infidels," of hi
own or any race. It Is a matter of indif
ference to him if, in the operation, while
he sheathes his sword in his and his
Prophet' enemy, the latter i doing the
same to him. Quick and happy transla
tion he holds as his sure reward.
The stiff fight the other day between
tbe Egyptian troops south of Wady
Haifa and the Mahdist recnlls to me
many a bygone incident and fierce strug
gle between British and Egyptian troops
and forces largely composed of Der
vishes. Ambigol Cataract, where the
skirmish took place, is about sixty miles
south of Wady Haifa. There is an Egyp
tian outpost at Gemai, where tbe great
Second Cataract proper begins, and an
other at Sarrass. The one station is fif
teen miles and the other thirty-three
miles further up stream, and the railroad
line and ironclad train still run through
to both posts. No doubt when the Der
vish raiders, numbering 400 strong, were
repulsed from the forts they fell back
from the river towards the easier-going
tracks inlaad, along which they must
have sped on their camels. Tbe Egyp
tian cavalry which, under careful Eng
lish training, have learned to trust their
weapons and their own physical strength
in a contest with the Bedouinese prob
ably not numbering more than two squad
rons, overtook the raiders at tho pleas
ant aforetime camps of Ambigol. There,
no doubt, under the palm-trees' grateful
shade, hard by the rush and roar of tbe
mighty river, the Egyptian troops at
once opened fire upon them. Although
the whole of the enemy were unlikely to
have been Dervishes for these gentry
never run away, but, when necessary,
walk sedately out of a fight, merely to
assume a fresh coign of vantage a sharp
engagement seems to have ensued. The
Mahdists, nothing loath, swarmed,
mounted and foot, up the rocky hills,
which their pursuers had, with sound,
tactical judgment, crownod, and whence
they had opened lire.
I think it was at the battle of El Tcb
I first made tho acquaintance of the
Mahdist Dervishes. The Fuzzy-AVuzzy
Hadendowah tribesmau is the bravest of
the brave, but the Dervish is boroism
run crazy. These so-called "holy beg
gars," self-sworn to devote themselves
to the Prophet's cause, came at General
Graham's tquare of marines, Highland
men, and stout linesmen as if we bad
been children to be frightened by a cry.
Clad in their patchwork rags, with
shaved bared beads, many armed with
no better weapons than sticks, they
charged full iu front of the fire-walled
square. Down they went by scores and
hundreds, but others quickly took up the
running toward us. I saw them that
day more thau one of them pierced
through and through with Martini-Henry
bullet wounds, come fiercely on, reeling
like drunken men, their teeth gleaming
and eyes aflame with hatred. Happy
were they if they could but cross
weapons with our bayonets. When ex
hausted nature failed them, their lost act
was generally to hurl the weapon they
carried, stick, laucu, or sword, toward
our ranks, and shout au Arab impreca
tion against us, "Nosrauil ' (Nazarunol)
An old gray-haired sheik actually
charged the square reading the Koran
aloud, which he held in bis bauds.
Later on, when Sir Herbert (then
Colonel) Stewart charged the worsted
Arab footmen with bis two regi.
menta of cavalry, their mounted
Dervishes faced his whole force and
boldly charged them in return. Again,
at Tamai, when the Arabs broke into
General Davis's square, where I was,
and having temporarily captured our six
machine guns, on which they danced in
fiendish glee, the D-jrvishes were iu the
forefront of the attack. A big marine,
who had bayoneted oue of them, found
bis rifle caught and clutched by the fa
natic savage, who strove to wrench his
foernan with bis sword. It was ut the
moment we were being driven back, aud
while tho marine tugged and swore to
get his weapon free, the reeling Dervish
essayed with his parting strength to slay
or wound our Tommy Atkius. In the
desperate battle ut Abu-Klea, similar
scenes occurred. I state it as a fact, of
which I took personal note at the time,
that during the melee iu which Colonel
Burnaby fell, a Dervish, who had struck
that officer, and was promptly bayoneted
through the back, twisted about while
the steel was protrudiug, aud tried to
thrust his lance into the soldier. Even
the crippled and wounded Dcrvixhes ou
the field of battle lay iu wait to stab tbe
chauce passiug enemy. Asked to "sur
render," and put down their swords and
speais, the invariable answer of the
sorely stricken Dervish was, "Christian
(or infidel) dogs, never!" When I saw
them lustiu the Soudan, a few years ago,
there was no abatement in their blood
thirsty ferocity, nor show of hesitation,
whether they numbered 'ew or many, of
a longing to get to clo.e quarters with
their euewy.
THE TWO VISITS,
The Kaiser goes to see the Cxar,
The worl' turns ont tow- v
His retfnne toilers from afa
An' then the Kaiser and the Csar
Embraos in solemn glee.
An then saloot an' hug an' kin.
An' both are filled and soaked in blisa
Wen I go down to Hiram's plaoe
The worl' don't seen to care,
I neither kiss bis bands or faoe,
Twould make 'em lafT at Hiram's plaoe,
T would make 'em 'ar an' tear.
But Hiram says, ex roun' he pokes, '
"I'm glad to see ye; how's yer folks!"
I tAkea look at Hiram's hogs
An' hear how much they grow.
This somehow Hira-n't mem'ry Jogs, '
An' be lets out on theui ar hogs-
You oughter hear him blow;
If you could only hear him onoe
You'd hear some ginooine elerkunots
Oi' Hiram he is slow enough
But none too slow for me,
For I'm a purty tame ol' duff,
An' fairly modorit enough,
An' jest as slow ez he. ,
So we stub roun' tbe whole day long
Until we hear the supper gong.
Tbe Kaiser goes to see the Czar,
And maybe stops to tea.
But men like Czars an' Kaisers are.
Cooped in the palace of the Czar,
Hain't no sich timos ei we.
The Czar an' Kaiser know no charm
Like loafin' roun' ol' Hiram's farm.
Sam Walter Foss, in Yankee Blade.
HUMOR OF THE BAY.
It is not man's sins that find bim eut;
it' his neighbor. Atchison Globe.
The great part of a self-willed man's
state usually goes to the lawyers. Troy
Press.
Every day a man hears a dozen things
tie ought to do that he can't do.---Atchl-lon
Globe.
"Do you believe iu fate, Pat?" "Sure
and phwat would we stand on widout
em?" Siftings.
Whatever may be said of a sweetheart
she cau't be too good to bo true. Phil
adelphia Times.
There is no help for tbe case of the
woman who can't get a servant. Phil
adelphia Record.
Teacher "What is a hero?'' Tommy
"The man who marries a heroiue."
Indiannpolis Journal.
The cynic is the man who knows the
price of everything and the value of
nothing. The Fun.
Women are not cruel to dumb animal.
No woman will wilfully stop on a mouse.
Richmond Recorder.
It appears to be the business of the
needy tramp to go around looking for
succors. Biughamton Leader.
"Do you think this tooth will stand
filling?" Patient "Well, I'm suro it
has plenty of nerve." Inter Ocean.
The man who thaws out dynamite is
being heard from. There is generally
but ono report. Baltimore American.
The Keg "Your headpiece is posi
tively ugly." The Barrel (prouiHy)
"Maybe, but I wear hoops." Chicago
News.
Time is generally represented as carry
ing a scythe. This will probably be kept
up till it is no mower. Philadelphia
Times.
"There's another unconscious humor
ist!" gleefully remarked tho footpad as
be sandbagged the punster. Washing
ton Star.
"There's a tiino to work aud a time to
play," but to the hand-organ grinder
both times come at ouce. Rochester
Democrat.
"Say, Chimraie," said tho boy who
had a whito pink, "do blokie dat named
dis flower must ov bin color blind."
Washington Star.
That the cynic is an extreme type t
humanity is indicated by the fact that
be is always very old or very young.
Washington Star.
"I feel better ubout lickin' this post ago
stamp," said the boy who had been seat
to mail a letter. "It's nearer my sizei"
Washington Star.
"Yes," said tho man who had just
fallen down three flights of stairs, "I've
been on quite an extended trip." Kate
Field's Washington.
Dulliate "I find it very hard work
to collect my thoughts." Maud "Papa
says it's alwuys difficult to recjver small
amounts." Inter Ocean.
Mudge "Thompson called me au
idiot." Yabsley ''You needn't mind
that. Thompson ulvvuys does exaggerate
more or less." Tit -Hits.
What maks the bicycle popular with
many, rich or poor, is that, after trying
to ride oue, they feel that they arc better
off. Philadelphia Times.
Artist "How do you like tho por
trait I made of you?" Cranky Subject
"Well, the coat is too tight under the
arms." New York Jouruul.
The words of a mau's mouth tell no
more of the meditations of bis heart than
the voice of a diuner boll tells of the
quality of the dinner. I'uck.
'Wheu It comes to reveuuo cutter,"
said old Bullion, snipping off another
coupou, '-there's nothing like a good
pair of shears." Chicago Tribuue.
A dilTerenco between a knife blade
losing i's temper and a woman is that
the former becomes duller aud the latter
more cutting. Philadelphia Times.
When siiuLtw tiie Kid millennium
Upon litis uiilitv nation
A11 olticrf will be louud lor eaeh
lu the whole population.
Walii!iU:i Star.
At a Party: Suitor "Mem Kraulein,
I love you." Rich Youug Lady (point
ing with her fan to her lather; "Ex
cuse me, yonder is my busiuess mauager."
Wiener Luft.
Mr. Hortou "What ou earth did you
waut of this expensive tire screen I''
Mrs. lloi lou "To keep callers from dis
covering that we hadn't any lire." Chi
cago luier-Oeeau.