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VOL. XL NO. 7.
TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15, 1887.
$1 50 PER ANNUM
mem
&
It is stated by competent authority on
railroad building that for nine months of
this year 21,300 miles of road have been
contracted for. Kansas leads with 8,000
miles.
Many dwellers on the Pacific coast are
asking that a bounty bo put on seals bo
cause they are so terribly destructive io
salmon. They rob many of the nets of
every fish, killing them in mcro wanton
ness. The habit of tea-drinking must be
growing on the English people. During
the last fiscal yoar the receipts from taxes
on tea greatly increased, while the tax
on alcoholic liquors fell off $950,000, and
on wine $465,000.
, Governor Adams of Colorado has
issued a quarantine proclamation against
. the importation of cattle from Illinois,
Kentucky, Marylaud, "West Virginia,
Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Massa
chusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut,
Missouri, Kansas, Pennsylvania, and the
District of Columbia.
The tide ot travel across the Atlantic
Is not, it seems, to set all one way this
year, for besides the hordes of hungry
foreigners hastening to the New "World
to pick up dollars, so ninny Amcricuns
are going abroad to scatter them that
some of tho steamship companies have
been forced to suspend the issue of east
ward tickets.
. Archdeacon Farrur writes from East
Africa that the whole district of Magila,
with its hundreds of villages nnd thou
sands of people, has recently been saved
an invasion of small pox, which has pre
vailed in surrounding districts, by gen
eral vaccination, lie adds that this has
commended medical science to the peo
ple, and they como in numbers to be
vaccinated.
Work on the buildings of the Ameri
can Exhibition in London is being pushed
with increased energy from day to day.
Avn. 1 Ann ,
i,vuu nunuicu re now employed
on the grounds. The flooring of the
main buildincr is bcinr laid now ftnn ia
going on day and night. The main
bridge which leads from the Wild West
Grounds into tho main building and
crossing the railway tracks has a span of
420 feet. '
Postmaster Davis, of the town of Solar,
111., receives the very moderate salary of
ten cents a year. The postmaster at Peck.
111., got thirty cents last year, while the
postmaster at Lear, Ark., got thirty-one
cents. It is said that there are more than
16,000 postmasters who receive no more
than $10 a year and 10,000 who receive
about $8 a year. Some of these give space
in their own buildings to the offices they
preside over and some do not.
Senator Stanford says that Wheat is
grown for English use in Egypt, in India
and in California, three sets of laborers
competing for the market ; the wages of
the Egyptiun harvester is one red radish
a day, of the Hindoo live cents, and of
the Californiaii workman two dollars.
Yet the Califoruian hold his own in the
competition, because he uses machinery
in aid of his labor, and can cut, thresh
and bag a hundred pounds of wheat at a
cost of a rent and a half.
A submarine tunnel is being built under
the river at Port Huron to shorten the
distance between Detroit and Buffalo or
Toronto. The work is now ready for
the horizontal excavation, which will bo
one mile in length, including 2,810 feet
in the submnrine section. The latter in
its- lowest part will be 81 feet below the
surface of the river, and will have a
diameter of 20 feet in the clear. It was
at first proposed to construct a two-track
tunnel, but careful estimates of the cost
were given, showing that tho two single
track tunnels could be built cheaper than
one double-track tunnel.
Citizens of the United States travel
ing in foreign countries are often incon
venienced unless authentic proof of their
nationality can be given. The safeguard
is a passport issued by the State Depart
ment at Washington, which may be had
on the payment of $5 (act of June 20,
1874), accompanied by the applicant's
affidavit that he is a citizen. The affidavit
of another citizen must certify to the
same, and these must be attested by a
notary public or by a certificate of a court
of record. Naturalized citizens roust
transmit their naturalization certificates
with their affidavits. Passports can
not be issued to aliens who have only de
clared their intention of becoming citi
zens. The oath of allegiance to the
United States will be required in all
cases. Communications should be ad
dressed: "Department of State, Passport
Division, Washinetoa. D. C."
CAPRICE.
A summer night with perfumed breath
Told love tales to the listening trees,
And hedge-row buds, In guise of death,
Lay dreaming of the lips of bees,
While wheeling, circling, fnint and far,
A fire-fly showed its shimmering spark,
And, like an evanescent star,
Painted its life along the dark.
And I, who wandered in the lane,
Grew envious of a thing so free,
And sighed and gazed and sighed again,
And cried: "Kind Heaven, give to me
The fire-fly's liberty."
My love came tripping down the lane;
The boughs bent low to touch her head;
The clover sever felt the pain .
Of death beneath so light a tread;
And ere I knew, the fire-fly's wings
Were tangled in her burnished hair,
The tremulous, fair glimmerings
Illumining a face more fair.
Then I, who felt my heart beat wild -
The love-light in her eyes to see,
Became capricious as a child.
And prayed: "Sweet Heaven, grant to me
A like captivity."
Francis Howard Williams, in Current,
ANDRE TilEMOT.
BY M. B. WILLIAMS.
It was an old French chateau on the
banks of the Loire: and when it was firat
built, or conquered, by the ancestors of
me comto do Maupassant, no one knew.
But tho beautiful domain of Beaujolais
had decended to the Maupassant, for
wumncs in one unuroKeu line.
The present owner. Count Guv. was
perhaps the wealthiest and proudest of
ins race, as ne was also the last. His
only child, Blanche, a little girl about
ten years old, was the sole scion of that
once Humerious and powerful family,
and what affect iou her father had was
lavished upon her. But, like all the
JUaupassants, he was cold-hearted and
haughty, and when his wife, whom he
had married from motives of interest,
drooped, faded, and died, in the uncon
genial atmosphere of the old chateau, he
gave ner scant mourning.
As for tho little Countess, she had
her governess and her Itonne, and,
being extremely wilful, was
allowed to do pretty much as she nleased.
Her father, who spent the greater part of
nis iime in raris, was quite content, on
his visits to the chateau, to see his
beautiful little daughter healthly and
happy, and tho greatest little despot in
the household, which was wholly sub
missive to her wildest whims.
What a life she led them I She re
belled against the constant watchfulness
of governess and maids, and nothing
delighted her more than to run away
from them, and pass long hours in
wandering alone through the deep
forest and broad fields of Beaujolais.
Her governess, a good, indolent woman,
was in utter despair at these escapades.
" But, mademoiselle, I forbid you to
go alone 1" she cried. "It is not comme
iluut for the Countess do Maupassant to
wander about alone, like one of the com
mon peasant children."
"Then I wish I was a common peasant
child 1" the little lady cried, stamping
her feet angrily. "They have got children
to play with them, and I've got nobody
but you and Boune Marie; and you are
old, old, and you can t jump and run and
play. I will go by myself; and if you
watch me, or try to follow me, madamc,
I will go outside the gate and run away
to Paris. There now !"
Poor Madame Duloc shook and shivered
at this threat. She knew the child would
keep her word, and then what would
happen? As for punishing her refractory
charge as she deserved, that she knew
was utterly impossible, and would cost
her an easy and lucrative situation. So
she weakly strove to compromise.
"If you would only take Celine,
mademoiselle, then you might stay out
as long as you please."
"But I am running away from Celine
and everybody !" she cried, impatiently.
"I hate to be watched, and if you will do
it, I will run away. I will go where I
choose."
Poor Madame Duloc raised her hands
and eyes in despair, but before this "will
go" she knew she was powerless. She
did what she could ; she exacted a promise
from Blanche that she would never go
beyond the park gates. Wilful and un
governable as the little Countess was,
she had never broken her word, so
Madame Duloc was forced to yield the
point. She would climb laboriously to
the high tower, and watch the child
through the fields, and until she was lost
in the recesses of the forest. But after a
time, when Blanche came in regularly,
glowing with health and ready to study
more sedulously than she had ever done,
6he acased her espionage.
The lonely little girl found her life
full of interest now. She made friends
with the birds and squirrels, and all wild
things of the field and forest. She was
a warm hearted, loving little creature,
though her best impulses had been re
pressed by her artificial life, and it was
her greatest pleasure to stop and chat
with old Theriot, the gardener, and his
assistants, who were ulways busy about
the grounds.
One beautiful spring morning, in her
wanderings through the spacious gar
dens, Blanche came to an arch twined
with the fragrant Provence rose, then in
full bloom. They were high above her
reach, nor was there a foothold on the
arch where she could climb. She
looked around. No one was in sight
but a tall lad, who was weeding one of
the beds.
"Here, garcon, come and get me some
roses."
He came obediently, and gathered her
a large cluster.
"You are very tall," she said, "to
reach up there. Where do you live, and
how old are you?"
"I am sixteen," he said, "and, mad
emoiselle, I live here. I am Andre
Theriot."
"Ah, you are the gardener Theriot'a
son. I like him," nodding her head
gravely. He is a good man. He lets me
pick the nectarines myself. Do you want
a rose, Andre?" holding out one, with
the air of a young empress. Andre put
out his hand for it, when she drew it
back with a mischievous laugh.
"Como, now, I'm going to treat you as
madame does me, when she gives me
bonbons. You must spell 'rose' before
you get it."
The lad's handsome face flushed crim
son. "But, mam'scllc," he stammered, "I
can't spell. I don't know my letters."
"Don't know your letters, you, a big,
strong boy of sixteen 1 Oh, you must be
very lazy I Why don't you learn?"
"But, mam'selle, my father is too poor
to send me to school. I wish I could
learn. Ah, if I could only learn to read,
I would be too happy I" clasping his
hands, with the big tears in his eyes.
"You shall learn to read, Andre!"
Pity and sympathy were at work in that
warm little heart. "I will teach you
myself. Meet me to-morrow morning at
the summer-house on the lake. I will
bring books, and I will teach you."
"You, mam'selle!" Andre cried, stupe
fied. If an angel from heaven had of
fered to teach him, he could not have
been more astonished than at this con
descension from his beautiful little
chatelaine.
"And why not? Of course I shall not
tell Madame Duloc or anybody, for they
would make such a fuss. But be ia the
summer-house to-morrow."
Of course Andre did not fail to obey.
He never dreamed of disputing her
orders, and the lad was wild to learn.
Blanche was an exacting and impatient
little teacher, 'but Andre was so bright
and eager that in five months he had al
most reached the limit of Blanche's own
small acquirements. She had grown ex
tremely fond of the handsome lad, so
ready and willing to amuse her; and as
for him, he was her abject slave. All
distinctions of rank were forgotten in this
pleasant companionship, so soon to
cease.
Ono morning the Count returned unex
pectedly from Paris. "Where is Blanche?'
he asked Madame Duloc.
"Mademoiselle is out on the Grounds."
she said, tremulously. "I have sent Celine'
for her. "
"Without you, Madame Duloc!" he
said, sternly ; ' 'do you tell me my daughter
is allowed to wander about alone?"
"Ah, but she will let no one follow
her!" the poor governess cried, desper
ately. "Since you cannot control the Countess,
madame, allow me to tell you, your
services are no longer needed at Beau
jolais." The Count strode off in search
of his daughter in a terrible fury. It
did not lessen when, after a half-hour's
search, she was not to be found. When
near the lake, he heard voices and laughter
in the little summer-house.
Pushing open the door, he saw a sight
which nearly struck him dumb. Side by
side on the bench sat the representative
of the Maupassants and a peasant boy.
They were bending over the same book.
and the golden curls of Blanche mingled
with the black hair of her companion.
"Blanche!" cried the Uount, in a voice
of thunder.
The little girl sprang to her feet, turn
ing pale, but she did not tremblo.
"What are you doing here with that
boy?"
"I am teaching him to read, papa."
The little girl's tones did not falter,
though she was horribly frightened.
"Teaching him to read!" the Count
was so furious that his voice trembled.
"Back with you to the chateau, you
wicked child, and I will settle with you
later. But you, you base-born, insolent
peasant, I will lash you like the hound
you are!" He raised his riding-whip,
but Blanche seized it, and confronted
him with a pale face and flashing eyes.
"l ou shall not striko him, papa!" she
cried. "I made him come. He dared
not refuse. If you strike any one, strike
me, fori did it."
Andre through his whole life never
forgot that picture. The man with his
face convulsed with fnry, tho little girl
looking up with her brave eyes, ready
and willing to suffer in his stead. After
a minute the Count seemed to recover
himself.
"Go away from here boy," he cried,
"for if ever I meet you again I will cut off
your ears and your tongue. You to want
to learn! Bah!"
This was no idle threat at that time in
France. Grand Seigneurs had the liberty
of mutilating.or even killing, their vassals
at their own free will, and the boy knew
that his father's house was no longer safe
for him. But his thirst for knowledge,
begun by the lessons of his little mistress,
led him to a Jesuit college, where his
uncle, a priest, was one of the professors.
There he remained for six years, while
the thunders of a great Revolution were
growling in the distance.
When Andre left college, the guillotine
had already cut off many of the greatest
and noblest names in France. His
education and ability and hatred of
aristocracy soon secured him a position
of confidence with Petion, one of the
Revolutionary leaders.
Andre shuddered at the bloodshed and
violence which had turned France into a
butcher's shambles, but then he dreamed
that the outcome would he liberty.
He, had heard that the Chateau of
Beaujolais had been burned to the
ground, and the Count and his daughter
had escaped. Where the Count had gone
he knew not. and cared less; but he
knew that Blanche had been concealed
by old Theriot, his father, who had been
loyal to his young mistress in her hourof
peril. He had never seen her since that
fateful day when they had been surprised
by her father, but his gratitude and al
most adoration had never lessened. One
day, in Potion's office, he overheard a
few words which made his heart beat
fast.
"So that old satan, De Maupassant, is
in the last batch of prisoners? They
wiil all 'kiss the basket' at noon to-day."
"Good 1" Petion answered; "has the
viper any brood?"
"One daughter, as handsorao and inso
lent as an aristocrat can be She is in
hiding, they say, with one of her old ser
vants ; but that bloodhound Caresse goes
in search of her to-morrow. Ho nevei
fails, Caresse does not, and she will be in
La Force before twenty-four hours."
As soon as the visitors left, Andre pre
sented himself before Petion.
"General," he said, "I want a pass to
absent myself for several days, and to go
where I wish. Give me one, too, at the
same time, for my sister."
"Aha, Theriot, of course, my boy!
Something for the good of the State,
heinf Good patriot that you are! De
scribe your sister, and let Nicol there
draw up the passes.
I have no space to tell of Andre's jour
ney to Beaujolais, and how, in disguise,
Blanche escaped with him to the nearest
seaport, where he took passage for her in
a vessel bound for America. Andre had
a cousin settled on the Teche in Louis
iana, and it was to these humble folk the
Countess de Maupassant was going.
"Farewell, mademoiselle," said the
young man, as they stood together on the
deck of the vessel, "You have money
for your present wants, nnd I will for
ward more to you. Perhaps, too, I may
come and see you."
Blanche raised her face, streaming with
tears.
"Come with me now, Andre!" she
cried, in her old impetuous manner.
"How can I go alone, alone to a strange
land?"
He went. Two years after this the
young Countess married the gardener's
son. and their union was a happy one.
Their descendants are numerous now on
the Teche. and you can hear this story
more graphically told by them than in
this short sketch. In their graves the
Countess Blanche, and her devoted hus
band lie side by side, on a green knoll
near the silver waters of the Teche.
Youth's Companion.
A Professional Woman Whistler.
The appearance of Mrs. Shaw, the wo
man whistler, at Mrs. Harriet Webb's
benefit in Chickering Hall was the occa
sion of the introduction of a piece writ
ten for her by Miss Laura Collins, i
young woman nearing her twentieth year.
It was called "The Message of the Night
ingale," and was as pretty as its title. It
was especially calculated to exhibit tho
capabilities of Mrs. Shaw and the
beauties of her accomplishment. Mrs.
Shaw visited friends in Washington re
cently and accompanied them to a pri
vate afternoon reception of Mrs. Cleve
land's. It was during the short stay of
the President's sister, Miss Rose Eliza
beth, at the White House. The latter
knew of Mrs. Shaw's musical talent, and
when she mentioned it Mrs. Cleveland
eagerly requested her to whistle. An
hour later the President's wife let her
stop, not because she had heard all she
wanted to, but to be polite and consider
ate in not asking too much. Mrs. Shaw
will soon visit Washington again, and
has several engagements there during the
Grand Encampment of the G. A. R." She
has engagements as far ahead as in July.
The frantic gesticulations of women
who want to stop a street car and their
funny little squeals when they do decide
to make a noise for the same purpose, are
so familiar to drivers and conductors that
Mrs. Shaw sometimes astonishes them
into a helpless condition of wide-eyed,
open-mouthed wonder. Whistling comes
so natural to her that she sometimes forgets
herself when a car that she wants to take
goes rolling by the corner w ith the driver
looking persistently in another direction.
Her loud, clear signal brings him around.
and after braking up the car as speedily
as possible, lie looks for the man. Tho
astonishment comes in when he finds that
his passenger is not a man, but an
elegantly dressed lady, whose face is by
this time all straightened out, and whoso
severe dignity of expression and bearing
are utterly inconsistent with anything
like a whistle. Mrs. Shaw has indulged
in a little freedom with the ancient
proverb that slow conservatism might
apply to her case, and renders the couplet
thus :
Whistling girls and hens that crow,
Will make their way wherever they go.
Mrs. Shaw's claim to position as a
musical novelty does not signify that she
is the only woman whistler. There aro
two others, but they are widely different
from her in plans and purposes, as well
as method. Ono is Miss Chamberlain, of
Boston, and the other is Miss Adelaide
Detchon, who is now in London, giving
society recitations, Hnd varying the pro
grogramme with whistling. She will be
remembered in New York, where, she
appeared in comedy on Wallack's and
other stages. Neie York Sun.
General Washington's Politeness.
"Should a white company salute a col
ored company when passing it on the
march'!'" has been one of the questions
propounded by military tacticians re
cently. This reminds us of i:n old story,
(ieneral Washington was walking down
Pennsylvania avenue in the city of Wash
ington one day when he was met by a
negro, who bowed to him. The General
bowed politely in return. "What, Mr.
President," said an acquaintance, "do
you bow to a negro?'' "Sir," replied
Washington, "do you think I would
iilli.ur u iiufrrrt mitl Kt f in 1 11 il i 1 i 1 1 1 . V"
And the urgrocs were then slaves, and I
Washington owned a good many of them, j
Muhile Itegixtrr.
DAMAGE DONE BY BIRDS.
SAVANTS SAY HAWKS AND OWU
DO LITTLE INJUBY.
Result of an Interesting Investiga
tion by tho Agricultural Depart
me nt Making Hawks Useful.
The ornithological division of tho De
partment of Agriculture has been en
gaged for some time in an investigation
of the effect of the law enacted in Penn
sylvania in 1885 granting a bounty of 50
cents a head on all hawks, owls, weasels,
and minks killed within the limits of the
State. This law was enacted for the al
leged benefit of the farmers of Pennsyl
vania, and from the time when it first
went into effect until it was repealed a
few weeks ago something like $90,000
had been paid out under it. The
investigations of the department show
this sum is but a small fraction of the
direct and indirect cost of the law of the
State. It is found that there are about
fifteen species of hawks and owls in the
Eastern States. Of these only three
varieties ever feed upon poultry. Within
the past six weeks the department has
examined the contents of the stomachs of
ninety birds killed in the neighborhood
of Washington. In that of a hawk was
found a portion of the head of a domestic
fowl, which might have been the offal
thrown out of some farmer's kitchen. In
tho stomach of an owl a portion of
domestic pigeon was discovered. These
two were the only ones among the ninety
in which there was any indication of a
partiality for poultry on the part of tho
hawk and owl family. Nearly all of tho
Jthcr stomachs examined contained from
one to five field mice, as well as a great
many insects which are naturally very
destructive to crops.
Upon this showing the department es
timates that each hawk and owl is worth
$23,000 per annum to the farmers of the
country. The estimate is based upon the
assumption that every field mouse not
caught will damago crops to the amount
of two cents a year. The scientific men
of the department, who delight in fig
ures, have come to the conclusion tha if
every hawk nnd owl killed under the
Pennsylvania county law had been al
lowed to live, the damage done by them
would have amounted, under a very lib
eral estimate, to about $1,875 while the
law was in operation. On tho other side
of the account book they charge up tho
$90,000 paid by the State in bounties
and $20 as the value of each bird killed,
and find that from the passage of tho act
to the date of its repeal the entire cost
was $3,857,130, besides the damage done
in the way of increased production of
the vermin, because of the depletion in
tho ranks of their natural enemies.
While tho State of Pennsylvania has
Deen trying to get rid of the hawks the
general Government has been busy de
vising ways to make them more useful
Negotiations have been pending for some
tirao between the chief oriuthologist of
the Department of Agriculture and a man
who has had a great deal of experience
as a trainer of falcons in Europe. These
negotiations are for the purpose of secur
ing the services of this man to train a
number of hawks for use in the rice fields
of South Carolina. The planters there
are clamoring for some method of ridding
their fields of rice birds, which play
frightful havoc with their crops every
year. It has been found that tho pres
ence of a living hawk in the air over a
field of rice will cause the immediate de
parture of every bird in the vicinity.
Guns, drums and other implements for
creating a great noise arc only partially
successful. A stuffed hawk will do well
enough for a day or two, but the depre
dators soon learn that there is little to
fear from a dead enemy. It is therefore
proposed to try the affect of trained birds.
It is the purpose of the department to be
gin with a small number this year, and if
the plan proves successful to the rice
bird problem, it is likely that every rice
planter in the South will be supplied in
tho near future with a flock of falcons.
Xeie York Sun.
Utilizing His Youngsters.
A fanner named August l'irch, who
lives near (iarvanzo, is the happy
possessor oi a dozen tine, healthy
children. These youngsters grow fast,
eat three or four hearty meals a day,
and the way they wear out clothes is
enough to make a woolen factory think a
cyclone had Mruck it. Mr. l'irch has
been in hot water with his little fishes
for years, and was about to give up in
despair, when a bright idea struck him.
He had a tract of land that could not bo
used for the want of water. But how to
irrigate tho land without spending a
large sum of money was a mystery. A
ditch would cost thousands of dollars,
but corner lots have not been so plentiful
in tho l'irch family as the happy father
could have wished, and his lunkbook
simply showed a balance of a few
hundreds instead of thousands. He
figured on the cost of a well ami found
that he could stand a sixty-foot well, a
cheap pump and one of those great big
family swings which are noticed nt
pleasure g.inlcns and German pic-nic
grounds. The well was bond the pump
was set up, and the swing was put in
working order.
"Here, you little rascals," said the
elder l'irch to his little fishes, "come
out here and get in this swing. I'm go
ing to give you something to play with."
In live minutes the children were Hying
back and forth through the air. 'The
pump worked up and ami down, making
a merry tune, and a fourt "cn-inch stream
of water flowed from the well. The
children don't know that they are work
ing, as the swing is some distance from
the well, and is connected by an iron rod
which works the pump as the swing
vibrates back and forth. Mr. Pirch is
o-.ilivu that the youngsters will pump
enough water during the day to irrigate
a large tract of land. Los Aime'et (Cut.)
Tinit.
LIGHTENINQ THE BURDEN.
"Let me carry your pail, my dear,
Brimming over with wator P
"No I I'll take hold, and you take hold,"
Answered the farmer's daughter.
And she would have her own sweet way,
As her merry eyes grew brighter;
So she took hold, and ho took bold,
And it made the burden lighter.
And every day the oaken pail
Over the well-curb slipping,
Was upward drawn by hands of brawn,
Cool, and so softly dripping.
And every day the burden seemed
Lighter by being divided;
For he took hold, and she took hold.
By the self-same spirit guided.
Till by and by they learned to love
And each trust in the other,
Till she for him, one twilight dim,
Left father and left mother.
The wedding bells were rung at morn.
The bridal blessing given,
And now the pair, without a care,
Entered an earthly heaven.
Whon storm and sunshine mingled, they
Would seldom trouble borrow,
And when it came, they met the same
With a bright hope of to-morrow.
And now they're at the eve of life,
While the western skies grow brighter,
For she took hold, and he took hold,
And it made the burden lighter.
M. A. Kidder in Ltdger.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
When Sol pours down his genial beams.
The girls are sighing for ice creams.
lioston Courier.
A party question "At what time do
they serve the spread?" Boston Commer'
cial Bulletin.
A vetern of Reno Post says he was in
ten engagements all Southern girls,
too. Wiliiamsport Grit.
Nine-tenths of the blind men in poor
houses are bachelors. They probably
lost their sight trying to thread needles.
Omaha World.
After all has been said against the
barbed wire fence, the truth remains that
it has a great many points in its favor.
Lowell Citizen.
Perhaps the place where electric lights
are most needed is in a barber's shop.
The flow of gas would bo diminished at
least. New Haven Netcs.
AVe regret to learn that tho Chicago
Anarchists have disbanded. We have
always thought they should hang to
gether. Ph iladelph ia Prist.
A York State man has invented a con
trivance to pick apples. If it beats fifty
pounds of freckled urchin the superiority
of art is established. GoodaWs Hun.
"I have a theory about the dead lan
guages," remarked a Brown University
Freshman', "I think they were killed by
being studied too hard." Provident Tel
egram. "Teeth pulled while you wait" is a sign
which adorns a dentist's office in New
York. Tho question that perplexes us is
how can a man have his teeth pulled if
he doesn't wait? Burlington Free Press.
"I see that you can get Government
land free in the West" observed the im
pecunious boarder at tho breakfast table.
"I think I'll go there and settle." Mrs.
Hardtack "Better settlo in New York
first." Keio York Sun.
Tho farmers, now, think on the days
Of beet, leet, beet.
The trampers now will make a "raise"
Of feet, feet, feet.
Soon will the young and old complain
Of heat, heat, heat.
The boys, who would the pennant gain,
Will meet, meet, meet.
The polo-clubs will look so tine
And neat, neat, neat.
They'll be invited out to diue,
And treat, treat, treat.
The mating bird will sing and Hit
So sweet, sweet, sweet.
We'll tell the skeeters to "git up and git"
And skeet, skeet, skeet.
UoodaWs Sun
Butter and Jtuttcrine.
It is not a little funny to walk through
our makcts nowadays and note tho re
sult of the oleomargarine law. You
shall find a score of stands selling oleo
margarine and butterine, but hardly a
single one where butter is offered. There
are many tempting signs, such as ' Pure
Creamery Butter," or "Choice Western
Reservo Butter," but underneath either,
if you look closely, will bo found, in
much smaller type, the additional legend:
"Now known as oleomargarino or but
terine." Little frauds are still per
petrated. There is ono girl, for exam
ple, who has been selling "pure country
butter" for six mouths selling it in
market on market days, and between
times selling it in person at houses on
both sides of the river. Her boxes and
pails are legally stamped, if you look
closely, but her language is free. Every
ounce of her wares is butterine. The
genuine butter trade has almost dis
appeared from the markets and gone to
the fancy groceries. There the price is
from 40 to 50 cents, ami it is not by any
means certain that you do not buy half
oleomargarine or butterine even then.
I 'inciii nati Knq u .
How to Stand.
On one of his visits to New Haven h
deliver the, Yale Lectures, Mr. Beecher
went into a barber shop near the chapel
to be shaved. The barber, seeing that
he was a minister, but not recognizing
him as the great Brooklyn preacher, Said,
"Goin- to the lecture?"
"Who speaks.'" asked Beecher, in
Yankee fashion.
"Whv, Henry Ward Beecher."
"Yesl I think I will go."
"Have you got a ticket!'' the barber
went on, "if not, you'll have to Maud."
"There! there!'' said Mr. Beecher, "it
seems as if 1 always did have to stand
w hen I hear that man speak !"