THE FOREST REFDBLICAN
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All bill for rH7 ad-rarttaanaau eoOeetad
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ta nhwrffttlona wealTtd for abortar period
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VOL. III. HO. 49.
TIONESTA. PA, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6, 1887.
$1 50 PER ANNUS
aountry. No natloa wU ba takan
el aaa
aaoarmotu
nun tuucauooa.
Jo work-
Both bouse a of tha Nevada Legislature
have adopted resolutions disfranchising
Mormon in that State.
The amount of capital and capital stock
put into new industrial enterprise in the
South during 1880 ia reported by the
Chicago Journal at $129,000,000, M
agunt fS, 000, 000 ia 188.",
Amid so much that is transitory in this
planetary system of ours, it Is pleasant to
learn from the scientists that the sun will
maintain it present standard of heat for
about 10,000,000 years to come.
California Indians are fast becoming
civilized. One of them called upon the
editor of the Cresent City Retard a few
daya i nd threatened to scalp him for
publishing his name in the paper as get
ting drunk and raising a row.
' A $5 greenback fpnred in the till of
ft Newaygo (Michigan) bank the other
day bearing th e following inscription :
"Here alie goe savo your salary don't
gmble never play faro bank the last
of a fortune of $10, 000. n The author of
of this gave very good advice.
The United States consumes about
1,500,000 tons of sugar every year, and
this comprise 100,000 tons of beet sugar
from Europe. Of tha remainder Louis
iana and one or two other States on the
Gulf coast raise about 50,000 tons, leav
ing 1,350,000 tons to be imported from
the West Indies and the Sandwich Is
lands. The most novel advertising scheme
beard of lately was recently adopted by a
merchant in Carthage, Illinois. A series
of prodigious boot tracks were painted,
leading from each side of the public
square to his establishment. The scheme,
it is said, worked to perfection, for
everybody teemed curious enough to fol
low tho tracks to their destination.
The carrier-pigeon service of Paris is
almost as completely organized as ia the
telegraph system, for missives con be sent
by the winged messengers to neighboring
forts and towns, and even to distant
places in the provinces. The staff num
bers 2,500 trained birds. The Parisians,
during the terrible days of the last siege,
learned the value of the pigeon post, and
the lesson has not been forgotten.
Italy ia having so much trouble in Abys
synia, where Rasalula recently destroyed
nearly tha entire Julian force in that
country, that the Chamber of Deputie
have approved a credit to lay a cable to
lUsaowah from the Islands of Perim,
which will connect with the Red Sea
cable and establish communication with
Borne. And only a little more than
twenty years ago the interior of Abyssynia
was almost an unknown country, though
England has had representatives at Has
aowah. for a century.
There is an aesthetic street car con
ductor af Philadelphia who for the past
two years has spent much of his spare
time in making his car beautiful. Two
handsome silk flags adorn the centre of
the car, and the bell rope is jauntily
lined with knots of brightly colored
worsted. He takes great pride in this
work. The attendants at the stables say
he scrubs and airs bis car with all the
care of a housekeeper. A sponge is
always to be seen in the car. No man on
the line keeps his temper better in a time
of blockade.
The Emperor of Russia's dentist must
enjoy practicing his science upon the im
perial grinders, for while he is at work
two gendarmes keepVloadcd pistols point
ed at his head, and the Lord Chamber
Lni.?i. stands at bis side with a sabre, to
wh t,,sJt his hand if it touches the Czar's
perse At least this is the tale that a
fornn "American resident in St. Peters
burg plates to his friends in Boston.
Some oae has thrown cold water on this
goaaip by affirming that the autocrat has
the finest teeth in Europe, and no den
tist has ever meddled with them.
Revival meetings have been held for
some time past iu the Methodist Church
in Sweetzer, Ind., of which the lie v.
George Howard is the pastor. It would
seem that the 'effects have not been as
Listing as they should be. A few nights
ago some of the young folks create.1
slight disturbance and the muscular pas
tor threw them out bodily. James F.
Smith, one of the disturbers, had the
pastor arrested and fined for assault, and,
in retaliation, tha pastor had young
Smith's father arrested for profane swear
ing. Then Mr. Howard was arrested for
allowing the church doors to swing in
instead of out, as the State law provides,
and the pastor promises to make things
very lively for his persecutors. The whole
community is intensely interested and has
taken sides for or against the minister..
BETTER AND BRAVER.
Aye, the world Is a bettor world to-day
And a great (food moth&i this earth of ours.
Dor white to-morrows are a white stairway,
To lead ns up to tho star-lit flowers
Tha spiral to-morrows, that one by ona
W climb and wa climb in tha face of the tun.
Aye, th world Is a braver world to-day 1
For many a hero will bear with wrong
Will laugh at wrong, will turn away;
Will whistle It down the wind with a eong
Will slay the wrong with his splendid scorn;
Th bravest hero that ever was born.
Joaquin Millrr.
OLD GRIDLEVS GHOST.
Why, Dunham, what's the matter!
How your hand trembles I Are you sickf"
"No; not exactly."
"What ails you then f Speak out, man.
Have you been seeing a ghost f"
"To tell the truth, Maggie,-1 do feel
a little nervous this morning. I haven't
made a trip these twenty years that I
dreaded like this."
"Seen Old Gridicy again P
"Yes."
"Pshaw! I thought that was it.
Ilaven't you seen him a dozen times be
fore and nothing came it?"
"This time he had his sextant."
AH this waa at the breakfast table.
Dunham was mate of the Oro Fino, mak
ing tri-monthly trips between Portland
and San Francisco. He had sailed thirty
years, been round the world twice, been
Captain about six years, but lost his ship
and couldn't get another, and so was
glad to be First Mate of the Oro Fino.
Dunham had a habit of seeing ghosts,
or, rather, a ghost, for he never saw but
one; that was old Gridlny. Gridley
was mate of the vessel on which Dunham
made his first trip as a ship-bov. That
trip was Dunham's first, but Gridley 's
last. Gridley had a passion for beating
ship's boys with a rope's end. Gridley
was taking an observation with the sex
tant, and, as the boy was passing him
with a bucket and swab, a sudden lurch
of the ship threw him against the mate.
Gridley seized a rope's end, and was be
laboring the boy soundly when a boom,
providentially left loose, struck him and
knocked him overboard. Ever since that,
en numerous occasions Dunham had seen
Gridley'a ghost usually with a rope's
end, but sometimes with a sextant. He
had never been able to see any particular
fatality portended by the vision with the
rope's end. He had seen it a dozen
times; and, on some occasions, his best
luck had seemed to follow the apparition.
Not so when the ghost with the sextant
appeared. He had seen this only twice
once, the night before he fell from the
foretop and broke his leg; the other time,
the night before his ship was cast away.
Last night was the third time. He had
waked up and found himself lying on his
back. The room was perfectly dark ; it
was also perfectly still. Dunham could
see nothing and could hear nothing.
Nevertheless, he felt that something or
somebody was in the room that ought to
be out of it. He also felt a draught of
cold air. Dunham was no stickler for
ventilated apartments, and had carefully
closed and locked the windows before re
tiring. The air could not come from
the windows; neither could it come from
the bed-room door, for that opened into
the sitting-room just opposite to a win
dow, and if the door had been open he
could have seen the window. Despite
his natural courage, Dunham was fright
ened. He raised himself on his elbow
ery cautiously. Ha looked about the
room; he could see absolutely nothing.
He reached over to where Maggie, his
wife, slept she was there. He moist
ened his finger in his mouth and held it
np. He could then sensibly feel the
draft of air coming from the foot of his
bed. He got up and struck a light.
Looking over his shoulder as he did so,
he saw, at the foot of his bed, old Gridley.
It would do uo good to shout aloud his
wife would only laugh at him. He had
often waked her up to look at the ghost,
but she professed never to see it. It
would do no good to go up to the appari
tion and try to seize it he had often
done this, and it only disappeared for an
instant to reappear in another part of the
room. So he left the lamp burning and
got into bed with his eyes fixed on the
figure.
This time Gridley had his sextant, and
seemed busy bringing an imaginary sun
down to an imaginary horizon. The
operation completed, the figure turned to
the bureau ana seemed to be making the
calculation. Then he turned to Dun
ham, and shook his head negatively, and
dashed the sextant to the floor. A sud
den crack startled the mate. He had
turned the lampwick too high, and the
chimney had cracked and fallen to the
floor.
In the morning Dunham was a little
nervous. However, having taken a cup
or two of strong coffee, felt more com
posed. Joey Dunham, the mate's only child, a
boy oi ten years of age, almost always ac
companied his father on his trips. This
time Dunham proposed to leave him ac
home; but the boy seemed so disap
pointed that his father finally gave way,
and they started together down to the
steamer.
Joey was perfectly at home, and while
his father was busy, stole up into the
wheelhouse, which had incautiously been
left unlocked. The wheelman, coming
along soon after, met Joey stealing down
the steps, looking seared and guilty.
In an hour the Oro Fino was at the
mouth of the Willamette, and struck tha
strong, full current of the Columbia.
Having more sea-room now, she began to
use her strength. The flames roar
through the flues; the engineer turns on
a full head of steam; the clear, sweet wa
ter of the river, cut clean and neat by the
prow, is dashed into saowy foam by the
paddles, and sinks and rises in a swell
ing wake for half a mile to the stern.
Fishing boats and Indian canoes glide
pant her like shuttles, and before you can
fairly turn to look, are tossing and rock
ing on the swell many rods behind.
A black hull, supporting a cloud of
diugy-whitc canvas, is seen ahead. It is
the Hudson Bay Company's store-ship,
bound for Vancouver. A flash, a cloud
of white smoke, a heavy thud, and she has
saluted the Oro Fino. A jar and a thunder-clap
that startles the old ones, and
sots the ladies to screaming, and the Oro
Fino has saluted her. Three cheers from
the stranger as the British flag runs np to
the masthead, and three cheers as the
stirs and stripes curl and snap in the
stiff breeze from our gaff. Now that she
has passed, and the sun falls full on her
canvass, she seems like a great bank of
snow floating np the river.
Nearly everybody is tired of watching
her, and many have gone into the cabins
to avoid the wind which is growing
chilly, and others are composing them
selves in two and threes about the deck,
when a new and more thrilling episode
calls them all to their feet again. Dun
ham and two men come tearing up the
staircas to the quarter-deck. The bell
tinkles, and tha paddles stop.
"Man overboard 1" is the cry. Every
one rushes to the stern ; every one scans
the boiling current. "There, I see him I"
cries one. "He's treading water!" cries
another. Everybody can see him now;
but by this time the tremendous mo
mentum of the vessel has left him a little
speck a quarter of a mile behind. It takes
an age to lower the boat. Finally it is
off Dunham in the stern; and the sturdy
sailors bending the ash dangerously. "Can
heboid out?" "Oh,yes; can't you see him?
He's treading water." "No.he's floating."
"Anyhow, he keeps up bravely." "How
slow the boat goes !" "Why "don't they
pull?" In fact, the boat waa cutting the
water like a frightened fish. Men on the
ship involuntarily bent and strained, as
though they could help in that way. The
boat nears the floating object, now only a
speck in the distance. A joyful murmur
goes up from the ship. "He's saved!"
" Oh, those strong men !" But Dunham
sheers the boat around, and picks up only
a hat and holds it high in the air. The
owner had long since sunk1. By the time
the tired crew were taken on board and
the vessel under headway, it was dark.
They made Astoria by midnight, and lay
to alongsidoathe wharf.
Tho wind freshened during the night,
and by morning a heavy gale, filled with
salt spray, was driving in directly from
the sea. The pilot reported that it would
be impossible to cross the bar in such a
blow. So they waited. Dunham's pre
sentment of bad luck had been strength
ened by the loss of the man from the
ship, and he was more nervous and gloomy
than when he left home. So he took his
boy and went ashore. Ha went to the
house of a friend and left Joey there,
with orders to return to Portland by the
first steamer that should go up. He also
wrote a letter to his wife a little longer
than usual, almost two pages, and a little
more affectionate than usual. He excused
himself for writing by telling her that
the bar waa so bad they couldn't cross,
and it was a little too dull to stay there
doing nothing.
By ten o'clock the squall had abated,
and by noon the pilot said he thought he
could get over the bar by taking the
north channel. While the firemen were
getting up steam, Dunham ran over to
his friend's house it was only a few
steps and bade Joey good-bye, and told
him to be a good boy and mind his
mother, and gave him sundry other items
of good advice which I fear the young
scapegrace did not attend to closely, be
ing engaged in the very amusing game of
see-saw with the little girl of the house.
By three o'clock the ship was fairly
under way again. By five, she was safely
over the bar, and had put her pilot
aboard a steamer which was waiting on
the outside to enter. The captain, having
been up all the previous night, went to
his cabin and turned in for the night.
The passengers were all either sea-sick or
chilled by the cold wind, and had gone
to their rooms and into tho cabin. The
wheelman, by orders from Dunham,
made out Cape Disappointment and Til
lamook Head, and took his ranges from
them and put the ship on her course. He
had only time to do this when a fog
rolled up, so dense that even the light on
Cape Disappointment could scarcely be
seen. Dunham assured himself that the
ship was on the right course by going
into tha wheel-house and looking for
himself. Having done this, and know
ing the coast perfectly, he felt pretty
sate, ne was a little confused and ner
vous, however, and so he went down to
the cabin and overtruuled his charts, and
read the sailing directions just as though
he had never made the trip before. He
seemed to be all right. "Bring your ves
sel in range with Cape Disappointment
and Tillamook Head, and then put her
about south by east." He had done this
fifty times before, and had come out all
right. To be sure that no mistake had
been made, he climbed up to the wheel
house, and quietly asked the man at the
wheel how he had got his range, lie
answered promptiy and satisfactorily.
Everything was according to orders. So
Dunham cursed his nervousness, and
walked back to the snioke-otack.
The wind had gone down with the sun,
but a heavy sea was running, and it was
as dark as Tartarus. Dunham paced the
deck for half an hour, then went below
to get his cloak. Being chilly, he went
up to tha hurricane deck and sat with his
back to the smoke-stack. Being nervous,
he lit a cigar. Bt-iug careful, he walked
forward to see how things were moving.
He thought he heard a distant roar, lie
listened, and could hear nothing, lie
walked back to the smoke-stack- In ten
miuues he came forward again. He
thought he heard the roar of the surf.
He called to the man at the wheel :
"Abbott !"
"Ay, ay, sir."
"now does she stand 7"
"Sou' by east, sir."
That was all right; that was the course
Dunham had put her on.
He went to the paddle-box and signaled
the engine to stop. Then he called a man
and had the lead thrown. "Twenty-four.
Plenty of water," thought Durham, and
started the engine. He then went to the
Captain's cabin and knocked. The Cap
tain did not hear the first tune, and he
knocked again.
"Who's there?"
"The mate."
The Captain opened a port near the
head of his berth, and asked him what
the matter was. Dunham reported. The
Captain told him it was all right; that it
was foggy, and the roar of the surf with
such a sea on and no wind could be
heard ten miles. Durham rather thought
so, too, and went away. During this
parley, and while the mate stopped a few
minutes to look after things below, the
ship had made more than two miles head
way. By the time Durham got on deck
agnin the roar of the surf was frightful.
He fairly screamed at the helmsman.
"Abbott!"
"Ay, ay. sir."
"How's her head?"
"Sou' by east, sir."
Amazing I Dunham ran to the paddle
box and jerked a signal. The engine
stopped. Then he rushed to the Cap
tain's door and called him out in the
name of the gods. Both flew on deck.
There was no mistake about it ; there
were the breakers not half a mile ahead,
judging by the sound, thundering and
boiling against the shore. Dunham had
almost run the ship's head on shore, and
that, too, when she was holding pre
cisely the same course by compass that
he had put her on fifty times before.
Tho Captain roared: "What's her
course?"
"Sou' by east, sir."
"Put her sou'west."
"Sou' west, sir," echoed the man at the
wheel, and the wheel spun round and the
chains rattled. The Captain rushed to
the signal-bell and started the engine,
and got the ship under good steering
headway. Scarcely had she started on
her new course when a scraping sound
was heard and felt then bump, bump,
bump, as though the ship had been lifted
up and set down hard three times; then
a crash that sent the captain and mate on
their faces, and brought the smoke
stacks crashing through the decks, and
and snapped off the topmasts like pipe
stems. The ship had struck a sunken
rock, and began to fill at once.
Who got to shore, and how they got to
shore, matters not. It is the same old
story. The news spread on wings. Men
came and dragged the swollen corpses of
their friends out of the surf, or dug them
out ofvjhe sand, or identified them in the
shed, or paced the beach day after day,
looking out on the remorseless sea that
sullenly clung to its dead.
The captain and the wheelman, Ab
bott, went to Portland together Dun
ham they never found and there they
talked over the strange affair and ex
hausted all their ingenuity in vain to ac
count for the loss of the ship when on
the right course on a still night. When
the wrecking-tug was ready, they went
out to the wreck. It still hung on the
rocks. The bows were high out of water.
The two men climbed up into the wheel
house. They unscrewed the compasss-box
from its fastening and brought it on
shore. There they opened it, and lifted
up the card and needle, and there lay the
little instrument of death a broken
knife-blade.
The handle and the rest of the blade
were in little Joey Dunham's pocket. He
had tried to pry out the glass, to see what
made the card swing around so when he
held his knife by it, and in doing so had
broken the blade. He eoncealed his
mischief and stole away. Argonaut.
Sleep- Necessary.
The present epoch is one which the
mind of man seems to turn to the per
formance of impossibilities, or what have
been regarded as impossibilities. Explor
ers seek to penetrate the North Pole, and
mountain climbers to scale the highest
peak of the Himalayas. Captain AVebb
losses his life in seeking to swim the Ni
agara Rapida. Dr. Tanner goes forty
days, and an Italian fifty days, without
food.
The latest attempt of doing something
that nobody else has ever done, is that
of an Italian named Rouzani, who essayed
to go three weeks without sleeping, but
was speedily convicted of using decep
tion in making people believe that he got
along without sleep.
Whatever feats of endurance men may
accomplish, they cannot live long with
out sleeping. The victims of the Chi
nese waking torture seldom survive more
than ten days. These unfortunate men
are given all they wish to eat and drink,
but when they close their eyes they are
pierced with spears and awakened. There
is no torture more horrible.
Men sleep under almost all conditions
of bodily and mental suffering, however.
Men condemned to death even those
who fear their fate generally sleep the
night before their execution. Soldiers
sleep lying upon sliarp rocks, and even
while on the march.
No one knows just what sleep is. The
prevailing theory as to iu nature is that
of the Physiologist Preyer, who holds
that refuse matter accumulates in the
nervous centres in such quantity as to
bring about insensibility, which ia sleep,
and which continues until the bruin has
been relieved of this waste matter by its
absorption into the circulation. By way
of contract to the cases of those who seek
to do without sleep, or are often unable
to obtain it. a case is recorded by Dr. Phip
son in which a young man slept thirty
two hours without waking. Youdt't
Comptnun.
Arabic notation was introduced into
Europe in tha tenth century.
A COUNTRY DRUG STORE.
HOW TH2 TOTJ7TO CLERK
AW AT TUB THUS.
The Drag Compounder la a Thins;
of Beauty Intere-ating Colloqny
With Fair Maiden.
The young drug clerk is alone. His
employer has gone to the city to buy
stock. There has not been a customer in
tho store for more than an hour. The
drug clerk feels lonesome. He gazes
pensively out at the deserted village
street, and muses upon the vanity of all
things here below. An open book lies
upon the counter before him. It is
"Daniel Deronda." Somebody has ad
vised the drug clerk to read it, and he
has been trying to do so. But he don't
like it. He is disappointed, for he be
gan it under the impression that it was a
detective story. It makes him sleepy.
The drug clerk is a thing of beauty,
and is calculated to be a joy forever, lie
wears a check suit, a blue scarf with a
large pin representing a mortar and pes
tle (suggestive of his devotion to busi
ness), and a very high collar. His nat
ural attractions are further enhanced by
a large amethyst ring upon the little fin
ger of his right hand, and a blonde bang,
which long and careful training has re
duced to a state of complete subjection.
But seel the expression of gloom upon
his features gives place to a sunny smile.
He sees a maiden coming up the village
street, and he knows that the chances are
very large that she will not be able to get
past the door. He pulls down his cults,
and assumes what he believes to be an
attitude of unstudied grace. The door
opens, she enters, and the following dia
logue ensues:
She "All alone, Cy?"
He "Why! good afternoon, Addie.
Yes, things are rather quiet. Hain't
seen you for an age."
She "You saw me at church last Sun
day."
He (with a killing glance) "Well.
three days away from you seem an age."
She - "Cy Whittaker, you're getting
worse ana worse I"
He "I know I am. Guess youll have
to undertake my cure. Hey!" (Brief in
termission for giggling).
She "What are you reading?" "Dan
iel Deronda." "Do you like it?"
He (guardedly) "Do you?"
She "I think it's perfectly splendid.
Don t your'
He (promptly) "Perfectly magnifi
cent I- Going to the Methodist tea-party
to-morrow night i '
She (with scorn) "Me? No, sir; I
don t mix with that set."
He "Bander severe, ain't you, Addie?
Some nice folks down to the Methodist
Church."
She "Oh, yes, I s'pose there are the
Griswold girls, for instance. I heard it
said yesterday that the Griswolds must
be a mighty unhealthy family judging
from the number of times a week those
girls visit this store."
He (slightly hysterical) "He! he! he!
Now, that amuses me. Who said it?"
She "I shan't tell you,"
He "Yes, do!"
She "I won't"
He "Well, I know who it was; it was
that Higgins girL"
She "Perhaps it was, and perhaps it
wasn't."
He (insinuatingly) "This ain't the first
time that that girl has tried, to make
trouble between you and mc. But she
can't influence me. And as for the Gris
wold girls, you can judge how much I
care for them, when I tell you that,
though they were round here this morn
ing urging me to go to the tea-party,
what you have said has decided me not to
attend it." (Assumes an expression of
tenderness).
She "I am sure it is a matter of in
difference to me whether you go or not."
He (ignoring the remark) "I think I
shall take in the concert at the Presbyte
rian Church that is if I can get any one
to go with me."
b)ie(un bending slightly) "You seem to
be in such demand that there ought nut
to be any diffu-uity about that."
He "Well,I'm a little particular about
my company. But if you would accom
pany me "
She "Oh, Cy! Fanny Berry will be
there ; aud what would she say ? She'd be
just wild!"
He (with dignity') "Miss Berry's opin
ions are a matter of perfect indifference
to me."
She "Well, I'll go, Cy, and I'll wear
my plum-colored silK ; and you be sure to
call for me very early, and oh, my good
ness !"
He "Why, what's the matter, Addie V
She (in great agitation) "I forgot all
about it ! Grandma has got one of her
tits a dreadful one, this time and ma
sent me round here to get the old pcr
scription put up (produces bottle;; and I'
forgot all about it, and poor grandma
may be dead by tliis time. Do hurry and
get" the stuff ready, Cy."
The young man prepares the prescrip
tion in about thirty seconds, and hurra-
his visitor off feigning great solicitude
for tins neglected invalid. And as Ad
die disappears round the corner, he mur
murs :
"J .n't in time! In another minute Su
sie Griswold would have been here."
Then he wipes his brow with his silk
handkerchief, and adorns his features in
one of his most fascinating smiles, as he
turns to welcome Susie Griswold, who
enters and greets the conqueror of ali
hearts with an ill-assumed air of indiffer
ence. So runs the world away. Tld-Blti.
Thirty-three years ago the total wheat
product of Victoria, then called Aus
tralia Felix, was 4U8,704J bushels. Tha
naNt season's crop aggregated 12,000,000
bu.shels, which will leave 5.000,000
bu.-hel for export. The average yield
per acre in that country last season was
twelve bushels.
SILENCK.
If y soul is voirlei aa the frown moon.
Yet in it slumbers music dewp and strong
As all the splendid fira of sunlit noon;
Would that Rome hand might strika it
into song.
And yet perchance the touch that Urns should
waka
The silent chords to soaring melody,
Might be the hand of ona for whoee dear sake
The song would grow until too great to be.
So sleep, my heart, serene as yonder star;
Silence shall ba sweet liko summer rain,
To hush the Iipa of song wara better far
Than bursting into symphonies of pain.
IK. J. Mender mm.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A drink for the sick: Well water.
Argonaut.
The champion belt of the world is with
out doubt the equator. Boston Budget.
A pair of slippers consists of two fat
men on the icy sidewalk. GoodaW Sun.
Once a woman has reached seventy she
no longer hesitates to give her age. Phil
adelphia Call.
There Is a merchant in this city who
has an admirable sense of the eternal fit
ness of things. He provides his collector
with a dun colored horse. Merchant
Traveler.
It is said the Emperor of China is the
shortest monarch in the world. King
Ealakua should not be forgotten in the
list. He wants to borrow money all tha
time. Picayune.
"Oh, dear," exclaimed Fenderson, "I
wish I knew something about history !"
"Very commendable aspiration," replied
Fogg; "but why do you particularize his
tory, Fendy?" Button Transcript.
AS'S WA.TT3.
Man wants but little hera below
Of wealth's bright eolden calf;
But when be gets the horns and heels
He wants the other half.
Garliam Mountainer.
"The loss of my husband completely
nnncrved me," said a lady to a neighbor
who had been recently afflicted herself.
"Yes, dear, and the loss of my husband
completely unmanned me.-" PretzeCt
Weekly.
"Who is the god of battles f asked a
teacher in mythology. "Mar," answered
little Johnnie Henpeck. "Mars, you mean,
Johnnie," corrected the teacher. "No, I
don't, neither. I only got one mar."
Wanking ton Critic.
Ocean PUots.
All ocean steamers are commanded by
men who have licenses as pilots for every
harbor along their routes. But there ia
another class of pilots who make it a
business to lie outside the harbor for
which they are specially licensed, to
watch for sailing vessels and steamships
coming from a distance, or from foreign
ports.
Such a pilot, we must explain to our
inland readers, takes entire charge of out
going and incoming vessels, until they
have passed the dangers surrounding the
coast and harbors of our seas, lakes and
great tidal streams. The Captain of a
ship surrenders its control wholly to the
pilot while he is on board, on pain of for
feiture of the insurance on the -vessel in
case of disaster within that time.
There ia no craft, perhaps, in this
country which is subject to more rigid
rules than this. The pilots, for ex
ample, of Delaware Bay have for a cen
tury been governed by certain inexorable
customs, as binding as laws. Their busi
ness obliges them to be sober, intelligent,
keen-sighted, and ready-witted men.
When not in charge of a vessel, they are
on large pilot-boats, which lie outside of
the capes, sometimes sixty miles at sea,
watching for vessels.
The pilots of New York bay and of
Boston harbor go even farther out to sea,
and are sometimes met with from one to
two hundred miles from the land. They
are crusing about in the track of incom
ing steamers, and almost always appear
in ample season to offer their services.
But if no pilot comes, the ship lies out
side the harbor and signals for one. The
corps on the pilot-boats have regular
turns, and the pilot to whose lot this ves
sel falls is rowed out to her.
He is bound to answer the signal by
day or by night, in sunshine or in the
fiercest storm. Nothing but the absolute
certainty that the boat cannot live in the
sea running between him and the vessel
will release him from his obligation.
A boy who wishes to learn this busi
ness must serve an apprenticeship. For
Philadelphia pilots the term of appren
ticeship is six years, during which time
the young man lives on the pilot-boats,
studying the channels, soundings and
dangers. Then, after a year and a half
of partial responsibility, he becomes
pilot. Youth' $ Comjutnjtn.
Beauty and the Poet.
Mrs. Langtry tells that when she first
appeared on the stage Joaquin Miller
wrote a poem in her honor, entitled 'The
Lily." bhortly after it appeared in print
the author approached Mrs. Langtry at a
large reception, and, after paying his re
spects, bowed himself backward out of
the room, and, as he retreated, strewed
rose leaves, which he had crammed in
his trowsers pockets, on the floor. Mr.
Miller at that time was a member of tha
Rosctti Circle, of which Whistler, Burns,
Jones and Swinburne were also members.
At that time Miller appeared in public in
a red flannel shirt and top boots.
A statistician declares that, while tha
annual increase of population is less than
two per cent., the annual increase of
physicians ia more than five and a half
per cent.
Mrs. Haddock, of Iowa, asserts that
1,000 women own and manage farms in
Iowa, aud that in Oregon they are so
uuineroua as to occasion no remark.