THE FOREST EEPDBLICAN
li published ever Wednesday, by
J. . WENK.
Oflloe in Bmoarbattgh & Co.'a Building
ELM STREET, TIONE8TA, P.
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VOL. III. NO. 45.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9, 1887.
$1 50 PER ANNUM
"
I i.
In Paris work has begun for the great
World's Fair, to bo held in 1880, and
workmen's shorts have been erected all
around the park on the side of tho
.Champ de Mars. Tho great tower to be
erW-tcd on tho Exposition Grounds will
bo 084 feet high.
A botanical curiosity in a garden at
Ealing, England, is a rose tree whose
, blossoms nro entirely green, the flowers,
in fact, being composed of similar loaves
to the ordinnry foliage. This is evi
dently a reversion to the earlier stage of
terrestrial plant-life in which flowers had
cot yet bocomo specialized organs.
One of the most remarkable features of
tho trade of 18811 was the extraordinary
failure of tho Eastern mackerel catch.
The total amount taken in 1S8G was 81,
05:1 barrels, while tho catch of 1881
footed up 839,043 barrels. . There were
also only 823,000 quintals of codfish
4 iken-iiv 1880, against 002,455 quintals
in 11:85. "
Tho American exhibition which is to bo
held in London in May next promises to
receive tho practical support of many of
the leading manufacturers throughout
his country. Six or seven railroad
rapanics will make exhibits of tho
iAural products along their lines of
r rj and several States have arranged to
fJ collective displays.
In tho matter of ingenuity tho Ameri
can people lead tho worlV More appli-
cations for patents nre received and more
patents granted at the Patent Oflice in
Washington than in any two countries of
Europe Great Britain comes next on
tho list, I France third, and Germany
' . fourth, it wns not until 183G that the
Patent Office was organized as a separate
bureau yith a Commissioner and suitable
assistants for the proper discharge of its
- duties. It is rather a singular fact that
during that year only one application for
a patent was filed. Tho next year the
number increased to,100. The increase
has steadily grown, until in 1880 the ap
plications filed numbered 21,707. The
-whole number of patents granted since
1830 is, in round numbers, 355,000.
Even the Holy Land is being deprived
of all Its picturesquencss. A big soap fac
tory has been built where of old stood
the town of Shcchem; Bethlehem has
been rebuilt and gas introduced, Naza
reth has become the headquarters of a
large company of olive oil speculators,
Ciesarea is being rebuilt in modern
style, Mount t'armel hns been bought up
by land speculators, a glue factory is
going upat Bamoth Gilead, while Jeru
salem has been delivered over to all sorts
of occidental improvements, including
clocks on tho public buildings, a strect
cleaning bureau, the Parisian fashion
journals, and even an occasional bicycle
and telephone. Tho world is being too
rapidly civilized into a cosmopolitanism
which leaves no room for individualism
or picturesquencss.
One of the most remarkable formations
of common salt in this country, and in
deed in the world, is that on the Island
of Petilo Anso, 125 miles west of New
Orleans. It was discovered in 1802 while
' sinking a well, and was immediately
seized by Jefferson Davis as a Confeder
ate supply. Tho salt is uuderground at
a depth ranging from ten to twenty-three
feet. One hundred and fifty acres have,
up to tho present time, been traced, and
a depth ot 140 feet been reached. The
salt is taken out in massive crystalline
blocks, and is of the clearest white ap
pearance It is nearly chemically pure,
contains 00.88 per cent, pure salt, the
remaining fraction of a per cent, being
gypsum and chloride of lime. The mines
are owned by the Avery family, and are
worked by a New York firm, which pays
$3,000 per month as a royalty for the
privilege.
Natural gas wells are being utilized in
the Wet. An editorial in the Age of
Med gives BDmo.valuable points gathered
from Prof. John F. Carroll of the Penn
sylvania Geological Survey, lie had just
returned from a tour of visitation to ull
tho points in Illinois where there have
tjcen any indications of natural gas in
any considerable quantities. ' It was
learned through him that a considerable
number of the houses in Cerro Gordo, a
town twelve miles from Decatur, are be
ing lighted and heated with natural gas,
which is obtained from a depth of not
over seventy fret. All over the central
part of Illinois euil'.cient quantities of
gas for household purposes may be ob
tained by drilling to a depth of from fifty
to 125 feet. In this connection it was
noticed that a gentleman in Guthrie
County, Iowa, while boring for water, at
at a depth of 140 feet struck a strong
flow of gas, which has continued to flow
out of the two-inch pipe so strong that
a matt cuiiiiut stop il by prettutujf on the
od with all his strtuytli.
SINK NOT.
Sink not I sink not beneath the scorn
That Is upon you east!
Remember you to cares were born,
Theee will not always last
Up with the sun, and work away
The Jt will come about,
And Ifyou train yourself to-day
Tou'll put your foes to route.
Oh, keep a faithful, willing heart!
And bravely burdens bear ;
In life this Is the greatest art,
To lessen evry care.
Blnk not! sink not beneath the load
Upon your shoulders cast;
The cares you have upon life's road
Shall not forever last.
Howard C. Tripp, in Current
"ALL CUT."
"Good-by, dear Mary. I hate to have
you go. It's like going into another
world, so far awny. Tell John I never
shall be satisfied till he settles East. I
never have quite forgiven him for mov
ing to California."
"Oh, mother when he's doing so well.
I didn't want to go, but he did not get
on here; a small salary, and no prospect
of a better, and tho children coming 1"
'Well, well, it was natural, and" you
can't feel it as I do, being younger; but
you want to see tho children some I"
"I guess I dol"
"And by that you may guess how I
want to sec you."
And tho old lady wiped her eyes. She
was a stout woman, m a plaid flannel
dustcloak and poke bonnet. The cloak
was odd and conspicuous, but Mrs. AVat
rous did not care for that, she wanted
something soft to cover her dress, somc-
imng mat sue could shake out of tern- !
porary creases, and keep on the hat-rack
for daily use; that clonk covered her
morning dress when she went out for
daily supplies, and hid the worn sleeves
and frayed waist of her old black silk
when she took a shopping tour, or a drive
with some kindly friend ; for Mr. Wat
rous did not keep a horse. It was a use
ful garment, and her husband always
called it "Charity' because he said it
covered a multitudo of sins in his wife's
dress.
Mary Watrous, the only child of this
respectable couple, had married eight
years ago the teller in the bank where
her father had boen cashier for many
years. At first John Dutton bad been
content with his position; but after his
three boys were born he began to reflect
on the future, and having a good oiler
from a cousin of his in ban Francisco,
a successful merchant there, ho put his
small patrimony of live thousand dollars
into Sam Button's business, and now
Dutton A; Co. were making money
steadily. This was the first time Mary
had been home to see her parents after a
three years' absence, and she had a new
grandchild to exhibit plump, rosy lit
tle .Molly. The three boys were left at
homo with their father, under the
nurse's charge; .Mary thinking that she
could take care of Molly, bitter than
John could look after the boys without
Katy's help.
.Mr. Watrous had gone to get tho bag
gage checked, ami Mrs. Watrous stood
by tho car, which waited on the track to
bo coupled to the express train just
whistling in the distance: a train that
made no stop in the next hundred miles.
As Mrs. Watrous wiped I ho tears from
her kind eyes, Alary held up .Molly to
the window to comfort the mother's
heart with that lovely baby face set in
yellow curls, lit by soft hael eyes, just
like her mother's, and sparkling with
dimples.
. "By, danma!" she shouted, kissing
her fat hand, and smiling, She was de
lighted to go, for she liked to ride for
a time.
Grandma looked up with her heart in
her eyes.
"You darlin' baby! Good by, good
by. "
"Hullo, Molly!" put in Grandpa's crisp
voice.
"(food-by, danpa!" baby responded,
with another kiss.
"Here are your cheeks, Mary. Good
by, again, dear. Mother, arc you ready
to go? 1 must be at the bank."
' 't h no ! I must stay and see the last
of them."
"He careful, then, old lady. Don't
get on to the track, or knocked down by
the train. Counted your checks, Mary? "
"Yes, father. Good-by."
And off trotted .Mr. Watrous, quite as
grieved to part with his "girl' as he still
called her, us his wile felt; but, man
like, unwilling or unable to express it.
Just behind the car, perhaps a rod
from it, stood the engine of a local ac
commodation train, spitting and hissing
ready to leave as soon as the California
express i-hould draw out. Airs. Watrous
was still close to the car when the fast
train came in. passed h( r, and then was
switcl cd on to.the rail and coupled on to
the waiting car, tlm was holding Mary's
hand when the two met, and the jar
disturbed her; she started and almost
fell.
"Oh, Mother! do bo careful," were
Mary's last words, as she let go the cling
ing fingers and gave a long, last look at
the dear face, sti earning with tears.
In another List. int. just a she had re
placed Molly on the seat and shut tho
window, she heard a scream outside.
She sprang up and saw through the
door, near which she was seated, her
mother, lying prostrate on the track and
the other engine coining from the sta
tion, though slowly. '1 he express train
on leaving this station at once took a
curve to the south, so ull that .Mary saw
was a part of her mother's body, in that
unmistakable cloak, and two or three
men running toward the track; but she
saw enough. She dropped in a dead
faint, hit her head against the corner of
a seat, and lay insensible for hours; Alolly
sortauiing at the top of hr voioc, and all
the women in the car devoting them
selves to her and her mother.
At last Mary came out from her long
swoon, and was able to tell the shocked
passengers what she had seen, just as
they reached the first stopping place.
She insisted on getting oil there, though
she trembled all over, and her head swam
with the blow which it had received.
There would be no eastward train for
three hours, tho conductor said, and in
that time, she thought,her self-possession
would return. The conductor took
Molly out, and into the station, and
Mary was helped by a kindly passenger,
who spoke with authority to the woman
in charge. He was a director on the
road, and, consequently, Mary was we
cared for seated in the one rocking
chair, a cup of hot tea brought her,
and Molly beguiled by the woman's
little child, who always accompanied
her mother to her place of work.
Left to herself Mary began to recall
the fearful sight, to shudder, to remem
ber her mother"s words: "I must see the
last of them!" Poor mother! she had in
deed seen the last of her daughter and
pretty Molly. And oh! why had she;
fainted? liut for that she might have I
persuaded the conductor to stop right
there and let her get off. Now, she
could not return to her father till he
knew all, and had to bear the shock
alone. She had three hours to wait here,
alone, impatient, distracted; and she
could not reach her father before 6, his
dinner hour.
Then she thought of him, of the sud
den horror that had smitten him, and,
woman like, her thought went on into
tho future. Would he care to stay in
L ? would he not come to her? But
her house was small, her children grow
ing; how could she make him com
fortable? She would telegraph to John; :
her trunks coming before her would j
startle him. Then she reflected that he
would not know the trunks had come
unless she were there too. But he knew 1
she was to leave L to-day. She raised
herself feebly from the rocking-chair, !
and asked the woman in charge where j
sho should find the telegraph office. j
"Well, I can tell" you, but it won't be i
of no use. Tho' was a tornado swep'
over the county yesterday afternoon at :
least over the south part of it and the ,
wires betwixt here and Sent Lewis is all j
down." Mary sank back in her chair;!
she could do nothing for John : he must '
put up with his anxiety. An hour went
by, local trains came and went, the usual
sort of travelers came and went also.
Molly began to cry; she was tired and
hungry. Alary crept over to the restau
rant, now open to feed tho passengers
of a northern accomodation train who
dined there. She got some bread and
milk for tho child, and tried to eat
something herself, but food choked her;
she could only swallow another cup of
tea: she took Molly on her lap and the
child fell asleep then; tho baby head
j resting on her bosom comforted that sore
heart, yet she cried bitterly over it, rec
ollecting how often she had sat in her
! own mother's arms in her childhood,
I and, resting on her shoulder, found that
; blessed consolation that only a mother's
j arm can give. Oh, what should she do
without mother! If she had only died
I peacefully in her bed, with tender minis
j try about her, loving words of faith,
i tears of parting, looks of farewell; but
j to be so snatched out of a happy life, so
i rent from all this world in one crashing
! moment. Oh I if ever she reached her
j California homo in safety, she would
i never tempt a railway again ! What if
j thero had been an accident to the cars,
i and she had seen Molly crushed to death
! and could not lift a hnnd to save her?
j She clasped tho child so closely at that
I horrid thought that she cried out in her
I sleep. Mary hushed her, and tried to
I control her thoughts. She endeavored to
recall the consolations of her earnest re
i ligious faith; but the words even of.
i Scripture fell lifeless on her memory.
! Poor human nature is so weak, both in
' mind and body, that a blow staggers it,
; and shakes even the foundations. She
; was stummed, hurt, desperato; neither
j submission nor resignation came at her
'. call; she could only whisper a helpless,
vague appeal to God, like
"Children crying in the night,
I And with no language but a cry."
Presently Alolly woke up, cross, hot,
; and quite intractable enough to occupy
her mother for the next half-hour in
soothing her fretful temper, washing the
i warm face and hands, smoothing the
damp curls, and beguiling her sorrows
I with a red apple from the lunch-counter,
j Then, after a little while, the window
; of the ticket-office opened. Alary bought
! her ticket to L . drepped a dollar
i into the station-maid's hand, who re
I ceived it with an astonished stare, and
! a grim "Thankye," and then, grasping
little Molly's hand, went out into tho
I fresh air and paced the platform till the
porter shouted :
! "Western .Jr-prcss! Parsengers for
i the East'ard, all aboard !"
Once homeward bound, it seemed as if
' her grief and terror were renewed. Alolly
stent; but in spite of all her efforts, Mary
could not help recalling the last thing her
eyes saw before she fainted, and her soul
cowered before what she must meet now.
, The way seemed interminable; there
was a delay at one station waiting for a
freight train that had jumped the track
! in the morning, and was neither ofT nor
on as yet: and that delay involved anoth-
er further on. when an excursion party of
railway directors and their fricurts were
: due, and had tho right f way. It was
! dark when Alary reached L , but the
I took the first carriage that offered, and
j lifting in sleepy Mollv, torn herself by
' conflicting emotions of grief, dread, and
i anxiety, she at last arrived at her father's
j door.
I She paid the driver hurriedly, and
j with Molly in her arms rushed iu at the
I front door, which happened to be un
: locked. A bright light streamed from
thf glass door of the dining room at the
ieud f the hall. Breathless, panting,
pale us a sheet, and with a face of woe,
ehv flung open the door, dropped Molly
from her grasp, and, with a wild shriek,
flung herself into her mother's arms.
Yes; thero was that deplored mother,
stout, hearty, uninjured in life or limb,
just rising from the dessert that lingered
on the dinner table, to see who camo in
at the front door in that eager, familiar
fashion; and there sat her placid father,
with the remainder of a big pear on his
plate, his eyes as wide as eyes could onen,
his mouth agape, struck dumb by her
entrance; for he had just said:
"I hope Alary has got to C by this
time, and taken her section in the
sleeper. I telegraphed them to reserve a
whole section ; she will be so much more
comfortable with Alolly along."
And hero she was! weary, weeping,
pallid, almost hysterical.
"Why, Alary Dutton!" exclaimed her
mother, after Alary had sobbed out her
piteous story.
"Why. I never in the world thought
you was looking out, or I'd have tele
graphed to the train. You see that other
engine was very near, and I'd got my
eyes sort of dull with crying, and for a
minute I stood still to get my balance,
that coupling of the cars shook
mo so, you know. Then I saw
the engine begin to come, and I
started across; it was foolish, but there
was time enough, only my cloak had got
unbuttoned at the top, and slipped back
so it was caught in a splinter on tho end
of a tie, and that sort of hindered me. I
stumbled, a woman screamed, for she
thought I was going to fall; but I didn't.
I caught myself up, the cloak tore off
my back and fell down; for in the pull
the other button went, and I got over
the other rail only just in time, and then
I did fall, but not to hurt me, for a man
had run forward to get me off the track,
and I fell right against him. There's
the cloak, pretty well run over."
Alary turned. The torn and dusty rem-,
nants of "charity" hung on a chair; for
Airs. Watrous had brought them out to
illustrate her story to her husband.
Alary seized the ragged mass with
eager fury and thrust it into the open
fire, forcing it under the flame with the
tones.
"Oh, Alary!"
".Mother, I can't help it. The thing;
ought to be destroyed out of sight. I
never could look at it again. Think! It
made me believe you were run over;
gave me all this agony of a whole day,
this new journey, and brought me back,
expecting to find you killed by the
train."
"Well, dear, I was; all but."
Air. Watrous roared, Alary burst
into tears, and mother placidly re
marked :
"A miss is as good as a mile, isn't it?"
Nobody answered. Itone Terry Cooke,
in Independent.
The Gold Lost iu tho Sea by Wrecks.
The memory of the loss of 200,000 of
silver and gold will survive the drown
ing of l,0uo soulj in a coup. There was
the Lutine, for instance. She was of
thirty-two guns, commanded by Captain
Skynner and she went ashore on tho
bank of tho f ry Island passage on the
night of October 0, 1700. At first she
was reputed to have had six hundred
thousand pounds sterling in specie on
board. This was afterward contradicted
by a statement that "the return from
tho Bullion Oflice makes the whole
amount about fit 0.000 sterling." If,"
I find in a contemporary account, "the
wreck of the unfortunate Lutine should
be discovered, there may be reason to
hope for the recovery of the bullion.
In the reign of James II, some English
adventurers fitted out a vessel to search
for and weigh up the cargo of a rich
Spanish ship which had been lost on the
coast of South. America. They suc
ceeeded, and brought home 300,000,
which had been forty-four years at the
bottom of the sea. Captain Phipps,
who commanded, had 20,000 for his
share, and the Duke of Albemarle 00,
000. A medal was struck in honor of
this event in 10N7.
.There was a very costly wreck in 1707.
Sho was a Dutch East Indiaman, and
foundered in a storm within three leagues
of tho Texcl, taking down all hands but
six and 500,000. Tho prico of four
such Armadas as that of 158s went
down in the hist century alone in the
shape of gold, silver and plato. She was
the annual register ship, as tho term then
was, and had in her 500,000 piastres and
10,1100 ounces of gold on account of the
King, and twice that sum on the
merchants' account, making her a very
rich ship. Sho foundered, and no man
escaped to tell how and when.
In tho same year the Dutch lost the
Antonietta, an Indiaman, and with her
sank 700,000 sterling, beside jewels of
great value. The Koyal Charter is tho
most notable modern instance of the
wreck of a "treasure" ship that I can
iust now call to mind. She left Aub-
( tralia with -350,000 in her. of this sum,
says Charles Dickens in h s chapter on
this dreadful shipwreck in the "i nco n
mercial Traveler," 300,000 worth were
recovered, at the timo of the novelist's
visit to the spot where she ha J driven
ashore. "Tho great bulk of the re
mainder," writes Lickens, "was surely
and steadily coming up. Some losi of
sovereigns th'-re would be, of course; in
deed, at first sovereigns had drilted in
with the sand, aud U'cn scattered far
and wide oer the beach like sea shells
but most other golden treasure would bo
found. So tremendous iiad the force of
the sea been when it broke the ship that
it had beaten one great ingot of gold
into a strong and heavy piece of her solid
iron work in which also several loose
sovereigns, that the ingot had swept in
before it, had been found as firmly em
bedded as though the iron had been
forced there." This is a curiosity of
disaster, but mightily suggestive of the
sea's miserly trick of concealing her
plunder. Louton Tchyruph.
Thousands of people think they aie
wearing kid gloves when th-v have ou
only the skiu uf the innocent lamb.
SOME ODD OCCUPATIONS.
QUEER WAYS OF MAKING- A LIVING-
IN NEW x ORK.
A "Clean Towel Company" Two
Hangmen Dojr Doctors Wealth,
in Ileftiso Painting Rlack Kyca.
New York, writes Julian Balph in the
Mail and hipre, has not attained the
unique distinction recently boasted by
Paris of maintaining a beggar factory for
maiming little children, so as to render
them objects of pity. Neither has it
yet reached up to London in the posses-'
sion of "necessary stores," wherein every
earthly thing in use by man is kept on
sale. " But, after all, New York is big
enough to supply many ingenious per
sons with very curious o cupations. Tho
scheme of our "clean towel company,"
newly started for supplying business
o.lices with clean towels and soap, we
ought not to boast of, since we borrowed
the notion from Chicago. We are
alone, however, in patiently permitting
an audacious Teuton, near Chatham
Square, to keep hand organs in mischief
by repairing them. He assumes to re
plenish them with new tunes, but, of
course, that is fiction; for no hand organ
was ever heard to play any but bald
headed and middle-aged music. New
York maintains, also, at least one estab
lishment for fitting little children for the
stage and ballet. The accomplished
woman in charged of this used, whether
sho still docs or not, to certify to the
beauty of the "understanding," so to
speak, of females who applied for a
chance to exhibit themselves in theatres
where spectacular pieces were to be pre
sented. Two courageous New Yorkers follow
the useful but unpoctic business of hang
ing their fellow-citizens. They are not
prejudiced in favor of New Yorkers,
but are easily persuaded to hang men
elsewhere throughout the Union. It is
always pretended that no one knows
their names and that only the Sheriff of
this county has their addresses. One is
a Hebrew, dubbed "Isaacs," and the
other is a German, called "Menzeshei
mcr"; but the city always lumps them
both under the one name of Joseph li.
Atkinson, and under that name they
draw their pay. They rig the gallows
and finally cut the rope. One other
sanguinary citizen, in Twenty-third
street, swings a shingle declaring him to
be "The Destroyer of Aloths."
Four prosperous citizens earn their
livelihood as doctors for the lap-dogs of
rich women. As a rule, the only medi
cine they use is starvation. They fling
the dear pets into barred boxes and de
prive them of food for four days, having
found out that the usual trouble with
pet dogs is that they are fed extrava
gantly and improperly. Just cast of tte
Bowery, in a tenement house, resides a
man whose business it is to rent himself
and his Punch and Judy show to chil
dren's parties in the brownstone wards.
A person on the Bowery keeps six or
eight girls busy framing wreaths and
pictur s of tombstones, whereon are set
forth the virtues of deceased rsew
Yorkers. He follows where the death
notices in the papers lead him, and
works upon the feelings of the grief-
strickcn families.
A rich Italian employs a horde of his
countrymen to trim or balance the loads
upon the scows of our street sweeping
department. Those trimmers save for
him all the rags, fat, bone, metal and
other controvertible refuse flung into the
householders' ash barrels. Another man
is making a fortune by carrying off all
the waste and refuse the city will not re
move, such as builders' leavings, dirt
from cellar digging, and so on. The
builders ay him to take it, and then he
sells it in the suburbs for falling in sunken
lands.
Only one man in town pretends to keep
photographs of all the notable persons in
the world. There is not room for two iu
tho business. Another citizen sells to
public men and corporations clippings
from all the newspapers that mention
them, at five cents, a clipping, od led to
a subscription fee each year. Yet an
other citizen hunts up coats of arms and
pedigrees for all who think theirs have
been overlooked, or that they may get
them from l ami lies of the same, or near
ly the same, names as their own. This
is quite l-.nglish, and therefore popular.
It is said that the carriage-makers are
giving away coats of arms like chromos.
Lawxer Kd. Price, the ex-pugilist, lias a
monopoly as the attorney for the Chinese.
The laundry men all seek him when in
trouble, and always pay him in silver
dollars. The trade in painting black
eyes with a mixture of six parts white
paiut and one part red now boasts sev
eral establishments. It is not populariz
ing the black eye, because it only covers
up the scaud.d without removing tho
recollection of the accompanying "lick
ing." Ono New Yorker has posted himself
about all the unclaimed estates in
Christendom, aud thus profits by a weak
ness more general than most folks im
agine. Another New Yorker searches
the streets at night with a lantern for
coins nn I purses dropped during tho
evening. A woman near the City Hall
takes cure of the babies whose widowed
mothers have to go out to work, and
who check them, like umbrellas, in the
morning, an I call for them in the even
ing. .Many w mien in the Last-side tene
ments take caie of a bahy or two for
their neighbors, but this down town one
is, I think, the oniy regular safe deposit
company or storage warehouse in town.
There is no matrimonial agency or hus
bands' exchange newspaper here just
now. There hav.- I een many, but all
have failed. Tli; t s heme is not so
profitable as that of a man I met the
other day, who told me he trained valu
able dogs to come straight back to him
as often as he sold tin in.
There is a revival of (Jueen Anne
dances among the ilevoteus of Teipni
chore in England.
THB HEA SON.
My love's a maiden fair,
And she's sweet;
She has a modest air
And she's neat;
Her hair is golden brown,
And in ringlets it hangs down;
8he's pretty from her crown
To her feet
But 'tis not her charming face,
Fair to see,
Nor her modesty and grace,
I am free
To confess, nor any wiles
Hhe employs, my heart beguiles.
But sha keeps her sweetest smiles
All for mo.
Boston Courier.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
Passing around the hat is one way of
getting tho cents of the meeting. tft
ing. There is one branch of labor which
must always be done by hand picking
pockets.
A new kind of stove is called "The In
fant." It ought to be painted ycller.
lio-hctter Poit-E-rpres.
Firemen nre rather discouraging fel
lows; it is their business to throw water
on things. Lowell Citiirn.
The men of energy and pluck
Have found this maxim wise
It never pays to run lor luck
Unless you advertise.
Springlic'.d Union.
A new book is entitled: "Hold Up
Your Heads, Girls." We trust they won't
as long aa they wear the present style of
hat. Bout on J'off.
A Charleston paper spooks of nn opal
"as large as a small hen's egg." We
should think it would be difficult to set.
Boston Bulletin.
Flla Wheeler Wilcox says sho can see
more light than darkness in the world.
So can we, Ella, when the sidewalks are
ono sheet of ice. Burlington Free 1'ress.
Softly the snow, in solemn night,
Covers bad things, like a pure, sweet mind,
Covers each house with a mantle of wbite,
But it never covers the mortgage, we find.
iiiodair!iun.
The income of Madame Patti from her
present six mouths' tour in this country,
will be about $ 150, 000. A good har
monica can bo bought for til teen cents.
Tid-BiU.
A New Haven man boasts of a cat that
sits up like a kangaroo. We've never no
ticed how tho cat on our back fence sits
up; we only know that he yells all night
like a hyena. Philadelphia Call.
A Alichigan woman kicked a bear to
death. She had an awful sore throat,
which accounts for her deviation from
the usual method of scaring them to
death by screaming DantiUe Breeze.
Jogg "Ah, old man! How is every
tying? Got nicely settled down?" Hogg
"Oh, yes, I settled down quickly
enough. The trouble is that all my
creditors aro trying to make me settle
up." Loieell Citizen.
He had just reached the stage where he
remarked: "Oh, thou art fairer than the
evening air, clad in tho beauty of a thou
sand stars," when a mother's voice was
heard exclaiming: "Lucee, get your beau
to carry out the ash barrel." Iete York
Journal.
First tramp "I never failed yet to
make money out of any thing I tackled."
Second tramp "You ought to be rich."
"No I oughtcned; lam as poor as an
amateur violin", performance." "How is
is it possible, if you make money on
every tlfing you tackled, that you are in
suoh reduced circumstances!" "You see
I make it a point never to tackle any
thing. Hiftinga.
Stallion Against Bull.
A singular combat took place recently
iu a cattle car on the Air-Lino Kailroad
between an Alderney bull and a Norman
stallion. Tho two animals were boxed
iu a car at Dcpaw, Ind., for shipment to
Louisville, K v. A strong partition was
built between them. The train was run
ning near New Albany about 4 o'clock
in the afternoon, when a brakeman, pass
ing over the car, heard a furious bellow
ing beneath, and, climbing down the
side of the car, found that tho partition
between tho two animals had been
broken down and tho infuriated brutes
were engaged in deadly conflict. The
train was stopped and tho crew gathered
around the car, but no means could bo
devised for stopping tho cucounter. The
iron heels of the horse were planted with
telling effect upon the bull's head, and
the horse was gored in a horrible manuer.
Finally the stallion got in a blow be
tween the bull's eyes, and the latter fell
dead. The horse was so badly injured
that it also died.
The "Business Hand."
A superintendent of mails says that tl
so-called business hand gives tho N
officials a great deal of trouble. "It
he declares, "nearly as troubleso
the illiterate hand. If inetho I.
in business, then a business
i in every sense, should be Uv
aud of such a nature as to iit
l doubt whatever. Instead of tha
I only the first letter or two h'git,
the remaining ones supplied by a
i scrawl." A'tio York TrUune.
Sharp Practice.
Petted Brido "Here is the bill
that fur cloak that I told you about.
for
It 8
lovely. "
I ml ul en t Husband (looking at bill)
"Croat Scott! You said you could get
that cloak for a mere song."
"So I did."
" Do you mean to say that amount
represents a mere song?"
" Yes, a Patti song." Tid-Bite.
It is estimated that the sum annually
received iu the South for the uoltou crop
amount tn t4U0.00Q.00Q.
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