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V0L.1IL NO. 25.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13 1886.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
A correspondent proposes the question
to a Southern paper: "Whom shall girls ;
marry?" Tho editor hns been wrestling
with it for somo months, but hns novcr
thought of a nice young man with a fnt
bank account and no evil habits as being
competent to fill tho bill.
Ida Lewis, fnmotig for lier efforts in
Tcscuing the drowning at Newport, is the
only woman in tho world who holds tho
position of government lighthouse keeper.
Although past middle age sho is alwnys
on tho lookout for any unfortunates need
ing her help, and would go to their re
lief s promptly as when a lithe and ac
tire girl.
There aro various methods of amuse
ment in different parts of tho world
:among different poople. For instance,
one of tho pastimes nniong tho convicts
an the Georgia prison camps that affords
amusement to tho "trustys" is for ono of
them to tnko a thrco or four mile run
early in the morning to keep the blood
hound in training. Tho trusty is al
ways perfectly willing to make the race
if paid for his troublo by the bosses. The
only danger connected with it, says the
Georgia paper from which tho item is
taken, ia that somo thoughtless person
might tako a shot at the running negro,
thinking that ho was making his escape
from tho camp.
Some one with a turn for statistics 1ms
discovered that in Franco one half the
population live upon agriculture, one
quarter livo by various manufacturing
industries, one-tenth by commerce, four
huudredths by tho liberal professions,
and six-hundredths aro rentiers of vari
ous kinds. There aro 9,170,000 agricultu
rists who are proprietors of tho land
they work. In tho mines, quarries and
more important manufactories there nrj
employed 1,1 '10,000 persons, whilo the
lesser industries employ 0,0!l!!,000. There
aro 7811,000 bankers, brokers and whole
sale merchant, 1,80.1,000 retail dealers
and 1,104,000 hotel-keepers. The gov
ernment and commercial employees uum
ber 800,000 persons.
Fricdrich Siemens, of Dresden, has
succccdod in casting glass in tho sanio
ways as metal is cast and obtuining an
article corresponding to cast metal. This
cast glass is hard, not dearer in produc
tion than cast iron, and has tho advan
tage of transparency, so that all flaws
can bo. detected before it is applied to
practical use. It will be much less ex
posed to injury from atmospheric influ
ences than iron. The proctss of pro
duction is not difficult, tho chief feature
being rapid cooling. Tho hardness and
resisting power of this cast glass arc so
great that experiments aro now in pro
gress at the Siemens glass foundry nt
Dresden with tho purpose of ascertaining
whether the material could be employed
for rails on railways.
A New York correspondent dotails in.
tercstingly an operation performed upon
ono Jerry Larkin who had been tho vic
tim of a gas explosion. His body was so
badly burned that his life was despaired
of, but with infinite care every burn wag
healed and a thin film of skin wus in
duced to coat it, ex( ept the upper part
of the right arm, which was ulcerated.
All other treatment failing, tho physi
cians resqrted to tho experiment of sup
' plying tho flesh which had sloughed oil
with flesh from a Newfoundland dog.
The experiment has proved successful,
and tho arm is gradually regaining the
strength which it sccmod at ouo time
bad forever left it with the sloughing
away of tho biceps muscles. Before tho
operation was performed Jerry could only
raise his hand to his face with tho great
est difficulty, but can now raiso weights
and continues to improve.
Somebody has been carefully figuring
on Grant's memoirs, and arrives at the
con lusion that, whilo tho lowest sub
scription pi ice ia $7. T O, the manufac
turing cost is seventy-five cents a vol
ume, and the distributing cost just
double fl.GO. Tho figures make tho
entire cost $1.50, or $2.25 per volume.
Of tho piofit, $J, Mrs. Grant receives
seventy per cent, and Edward L. Web
ster & Co. thirty per cent. The a -count
at present stands: $2, 2.10, 000 re
ceived for 000,000 volumes, from which
$1,310,000 must bo deducted for manu
facturing, distribution and sale, leaving
$J00,001, .of which Mrs. Grant gets
$030,000, and Webster & Co. $2r0,000.
The foreign and future sales are esti
mated at 100.0J0 more, from which
Mrs. Grant will receive $210,000, end
the publisher $1)0,000. It is altogether
probable that the total sale will be fully
700,000, and tho widow's bhare about
$840, OOi). It is doubtful if anybody has
ever began to realize such profits from
the sale of a w.'rk. They are stupendous.
A WISH,
I turned as I saw thorn passing.
Tbe child and tho bent old man,
The grandsire tottered and trembled,
But tho grandson sported and ran.
And I thought how tho man was just leaving
The life so new to the boy;
Of tho old mnns burden of sorrow
Of the grandson's visions of joy.
And I raised my arm toward heaven,
And crlod in a-cents wild;
"Give rest to the old man, oh, Father,
And koop the dear child a child 1"
John If. Grcuar.l.
A STORY OF GREECE.
BY S. C. McCAY.
Far away in tho old Attic country,
when Athens the light of the nations
first stepped with majestic tread on the
highway of thought that led her at last
to a world wide dominion, dwelt Tyr
ttrus the poet, leading a life of rase, un
disturbed by the light jests of tho war
like Athenians, and remote from tho tu
mult of war. '
They dreamed not, these heedless dis
ciples of wit and war, that the thin,
shadowy hsnd, impotent to lift against
tho foo tho sword of the Commonwealth,
was writing on the age a story tho future
would read with applause.
Through tho long days this pale, pa
tient schoolmaster toiled among tho
sunny-haired children of Athens. Ho
loved them and in them the' future of
Greece; and whon to their stately homes
he had sent them, to dream of the bat
tle fields won from the Fast by their pa
triot fathers, then, alone beneath the
stars, with pale forehead uplifted and
arms folded in majestic rcpose.tho feeble
body forgotten, the poet stood revealed
in the might of his soul. His thoughts,
now unfettered, soar on tolhe future, and
he sees his city his idol by the light
of her intellect crowned queen of the
nations, when his fragile form is Athen
ian dust, and tho children who now
crowd around his kneo shall fill all
his country's high places with honor and
with the patriot's zeal which, his own
enthusiasm has enkindled. Then on the
scene where the rapt thoughts are
dwelling glides another vision a slight,
slender form draped in the straight clas
sic folds of a Greek maiden's white gar
ment, a garment too pure to trail in tho
aust oi men's wars and ambitions.
Tis ;
a form that ho knows, but it inspires his
oui una nusauiue space in the universe.
Then farewell for this night to tho
dreams of tho seer, for tho magical glass
of the prophet grows dim when over it
passes tho breath of a human affection.
In the houso of the Senator Morion
dwelt the maiden of Sparta whoso face
in us ineuauie oeauty was lining the soul nnu, 10, "tis not their blood, but thino,
of the poet. Her mother, a woman of I that could rescue my country. Thou
Athens, had wed in her youth Leontus ' hast marked me, dark fate, but I bravo
the Spartan, ere jealous dissensions had 1 thee!"
weakened tho brotherly bond between I The falchion whose gleams on Mes
these two cities. But the brght sunny ' senia's dark fields hail marshaled his sol
heart of tho Athenian wa chilled by tho ! diers to glorv was lifted in nir, but a
cold and austere looks of tho matrons of
her husband's house; and after bearing
to their siro many strong, noble sons,
looked once on the face of a small, lily
maiden and died and in that dying
look the mother saw again the long
vanished days of her youth, for tho child
bore the lace of her kindred. With
thoughts full of home, she laid on its
head a christening hand and murmured
"Athene." Thus it chanced that, in
fulfillment of a sacred promise, Leontus
sent his daughter to the houso of her
kindred in Athens. Hero she blossomed
and reigned like a queen over the hearts
of all who knew her; but deep and tin
noticed beneath her sunny exterior dwelt
the soul of her Spartan father; and whilo
the maidens of Athens spent the hours in
dancing and singing she would steal from
their midst and follow her young kins
man to the house of his tutor Tyrteus.
No tale of the past, of high deeds or
noble thoughts fell from tho teacher's
lips that did not reflect from Athene's
eyes or thrill to her soul like tho tones
of some well-attuned lute. But a cloud
was traveling fast to overshadow the sun
shine of her life. The intercourse once
so constant between l;cr sire and her
kindred of Athens grew cold, as sonic
vexed question in matters of stnto mnde
each nation suspicious of the other, and
tho name of Leontus was never breathed
in the ears of his daughter. All questions
were useless, and hot pride compelled
her to tease tho inquiries for father and
Dromer, winch brought no nnswer save I
a frown, the first that had darkened for
her the face of her kindred. Thus
pondering, the maiden grew thought
ful and her tasks were neglect d. as
she thought of the mys'cry hanging ov r
her life; but she sutTeie l in silence, the
Spartan within her forbidding complaint
even to him who was her preceptor nnd
friend. After many days of self-isolation
she walked from her chamber one even
ing, seeking vainly to shake off the
weight of oppressive thoughts, when a
voice from young Fuimrus's apartment
caused her to paiue and look up. The
tones of a well-remembered voice thrilled
through her being like magic. With an
unconscious movement she drew nearer
and marer until she could hear tho
words. They fell like flaming sword-
strokes as the poet spoke, more to him
self than his pupil: "Is it thus, then,
that Athens exults over tho perils of her
old and tried comrades? Will she teach
her sons to honor her more when her hands
are foul with the ruin of her sister city
and the blood of her mother Greece!
Blush, boy. for the rulers of Athens, who
tell thee that laurels can grow for her
youth on the graves of dishonored
Sparta!" And, wounded in soul, Tyr
ta'us turns to depart. He had heard this
day how the vampires of war had fast
ened again on the weak limbs of Luce
dnnou, and Messenia had returned to
the tight. With gac bent on the ground
and his heart heavy with a geneious an
guish, he walks, and sees not the form
which stands with rant face and Utu-
esquo grace, like the inspired genius of
Greece, till, passing tho portal, she kneels
at his feet and kisses the hem of his robe.
"I sec thee now as thou art," she cried,
''noblest of all the Athenians and great
est of teachers! To-day thou hast
taught a poor maiden her duty. Fate
calls and I go."
'Ah, whero wilt thou go, poor child?"
ho arked.
'I know not," she answered. "But
tell me, is not a Greek maiden's place by
her father's hearthstone, when the ashes
of past joys are painting it white with
their snows? They tell me the young
lions my brothers were long ago borne
on their bucklers to the sleep of the
brave; shall his daughter not "stand in
their place?"
"Yes, go," he answered, in words
that were shaken from his soul by the
storm of emotion that swept over him.
'Go! though with thee will go the heart
of thy lover and the light of his soul.
Would they could shield thee from harm.
O, child, thou hast dreamed not, I know,
how thy face has been to one poor
dreamer the star of his life, though far
above him thou should'st ever remain as
yon bright spark that shines in tho red
track of tho sunset. But go the clouds
of my fate have eclipsed thee. Go stand
where tho women of thy race have ever
stood by the deathbed of heroes for
once more shall thy people arouse to tho
conflict;" and sorrowfully he turns from
her and the falling shadows shut him out
from her sight.
Day dawns on the battle field red with
the blood of languishing Sparta and lights
the pale-fronted temple where J.eontus,
the Captain of spiritless hosts, bends low
before Apollo's shrine. Will tho gods
at last interpose somo shield between the
breast of his fainting warriors and the
arrows of fate which fall in a resistless
shower? The last notes of a weird, sncred
hymn float out through the dim arches
of the temple and silence reigns unbroken
over the solemn place. The laurel's green
boughs tremble not with the thrill of the
god's mighty footsteps. , .
But now the deep tones of tho Oraclo
break the silence :
"Sold ier, tho gods have vouchsafed
thee no answer. Though the sons of
Sparta have been valiant through every
ordeal, her daughters have never been
tried. Let somo noblo virgin of Sparta
bring her young life, all spotless and
pure, to the altar of her country. Thou
hast given thy sons, O Loontus; give also
thy daughter."
"But," ho moaned in pain," no daugh
ter has Leontus, whose lifeblood may
flow for Sparta. That daughter, an alien
in the house of her mother, yearns not
over the woes of her birthplace. O my
child! My A theme! I cherished thv
brothers, but knew not thv childhood;
palo hand interposed, and a voice like an
echo lrom Ins youth, spoke calmly:
"The gods have averted the blow, O
Leontus! Thy daughter is here. He
turn to thy camp-fires, retrieve thy lost
fortunes, and if victory comes, be suro
that Athene will rejoice to yield her
poor lifo for a ransom."
Stricken speechlc-s, ho turned and be
held her. as a gleam from the sunlight
crowned her head like tho smile of tho
approving god. He fell at ber feet in a
transport of mingled emotion, but he
hand of tho I'ricstess interven dand
her voice said : '"Tis well. From this
time the maiden is loved of the gods,
and is sacred; touch her not." -
"But her fate?" cried Leontus.
"Shall be told thee hereafter," replied
tho Priestess. "A Spartan remembers
not that ho is a father when his country
bids him forget it. Go! Take this spark
of hope to enkindle the zeal of the
warrior; and should tho gods send theo
victory, then know tfcat this offering is
accepted."
With a serene look in her face liko
that of ono already immortal, Leontus
beheld for the last time his child, and
tho long lino of veiled figures bears her
away down the aisles of the temple.
l eontus returned full of hope; but not
yet was Lacedu'inon's cup of bitterness
drained; not yet had the red tide
of battle turned, when night hushed
tho war cry of one more disastrous day.
Leontus has made his life his last offer
ing. That mighty heart feels no more the
patriot's anguish or tho soldier's hope.
Forever will he sleep now, undisturbed
though tho footsteps of tho foo sound on
to his city's gates, where, despairing, the
people lio prostrate before smoking al
tars. Again the throngs go with prayer
to the Delphian Apollo. Will nothin
appease his implacable wrath? Yes. At
last the pale lips of tho Pythoness move,
nnd through them tho god speaks, to
Greeks more than Spartans:
"Remember, heroes, tho past days
when victory gilded your ensigns un
ceasingly; when tho armies of kings
shrank overawed by the majesty of pa
triots. Seest thou not theghostly hands
uplifted to withhold from thee row tho
vic tory which an only make wider the
breach between brothers?
"Shake off tho weak prido that do
grades you and go in tho name of old
friendship to Athens. Say the gods hive
commanded you to seek from her people
a captain. Murmur not. but yield: anil
swift must be the feet that bringcth tho
message, or tho sun will soon set for tho
last timo on free Sparta."
Hacked with tho thorns of suspense
and her mortified pride, tho city bits
trembling, while, faint and defiled with
the dust of tho highway, her messengers
enter the gates of her lival. 'Tis a feast
day in Athens no time for lengthy re
citals. "What wills our warlike sister, Sparta,
with Athens, whom her stern dignity
long hath derided' said tho haughty
old Morion, his liu eurliiur iu saoru ujt
the memory of public slights and private
wrongs darken his brow. "A Captain?
A chief for her armies? Ye gods! List
to this, O Athcninnst Which of you
will lead Laccdirmon tovietory? Hal ha!
'tis a glad day when the gods give a jest
such as thi as the crown of our festival !
Tell her our soldiers nrc turned into
poets. But when ago has matured them
and given them wisdom we will joyfully
lend her aid, unless, indeed, some poet
will now reverse the miracle and turn
warrior. What sayest thou, Tyrt-eus?
Wilt thou earn this glory?"
At this satire the market-place rings
with the laughter of the populace, and
all eyes nro turned on the poet's pale
face, as he stands apart from the gay
throng, his stern gaze bent on the scene.
But the laughter is hushed and a feeling
of awe thrills the multitude when, sud
denly turning upon them a look of com
mand, he parts the throng with a wave
of his hand and confronts tho sneering
magistrate with a serene gaze. Then he
speaks:
"Be it so. By the memory of old
battle fields, I accept tho honor of form
ing tho link which will unite tho old
chain of friendship between Athens and
Sparta."
And leaving behind him the multitude,
dumb with the silence of wonder, he
swept from their midst.
Of all the gay jests that the wit of
Athens ever uttered none brought such
an echo as this one when tho story was
told in the city. .
Into the camp fire's dying embers a
group of warriors gaze with a look of
settled despair. No faint ray of hope
shows an outlet from the chasm whero
fate had entombed them; when on tho
silence breaks tho fall of a footstep nnd
a voice in the distance cries: "Lo! tid
ings from Athens !"
L'nhelmeted heads nro raised quickly
and an eager look lightens the faces for
a moment, but they darken with anger
when the slight form of Tyrtnus con
fronts them. Many hands from the sting
of insult convulsively close on thedagger,
but somo magical power in the face of
the man arrests them, whilo one speaks :
"The gods have scut us to Athens for
a warrior. What fresh insult is this she
returns f"
With folded arms, quiet and calm,
Tyrticus mado answer:
"You have asked of Athens a leader.
She sends you a voice from tho' past;
from that past where the ghosts of dead
heroes look down in ama'.e that Spartans
should live where glory and death are
united."
Then, gathoring strength as it rolled,
the storm of impassioned words swept on
till it stirred to their depths the emotions
of men unused to their charm. With
tho poet's power ho unrolled to their
view the scenes of tho past, where Spar
tans, enamored of glory, won their laurels
from the hand of death. Ho. speaks on till
the red blush of shame flushes tho brow
of the soldiers, and thronging around
him, they clamor for him, who could
shake from their hearts tho weight of
dcspuir.to lead them to battle once more.
Ami ho led them, speaking words more
potent than clarion call for he told them
that their valor shone as bright amidst
death and defeat as whon victory crowned
them. An army thus seeking for death
what host can withstand?
It came liko tho lightning when skies
are all blue, and withered beforo it tho
ranks of tho foo. With Messenia tho
dread day of reckoning had come, nnd
her name on that day was stricken from
its place among tho nations, which knew
her no more.
Many thought that somo god, in
pity of their woes, had shrouded his
majesty in the form of the poor halting
scholar. But no, thcie he stands in his
wonted attitude wrapt in thought. What
a throng of emotions stir the heart of tbe
poet as hi stands on this field
of victory? Docs ho dream of king
ship and empire? Of fanis when
the future shall couple his name with
this field of renown? Nay, none of
these mingle with the pure thoughts
that picture a future when the two
cities, fraternal as of yore, hold inter
course high. Ho dreams of an old
classic haunt in bis stately Athens, be
loved and dear, whero his days shall
pass onward in peace, and bis people
will know by this deed that ho loves
them and seeks but their honor. And
over it all; shines the light of deep eyes
that mirror in brightness the dreams of
a poet's soul. But tho mirage of peace
is dispelled by tho shouts of the
victors. In frenzy of joy they crowd
round their deliverer. They who, seek
ing death, found victory, bear
him in triumph to tho glad city's
gates. AVith a beating heart bo
beholds tho women who come to wel
come them, nnd his eager eye scans their
faces in search of one who should surely
be there. Strange that she should be
wanting in such a scene. But no time
now for selfish pursuits; a grateful peo
ple must hasten to render thanks for
their deliverance then, throughout the
city he will seek for Athena-, and hear
from her lips tho approval that should
be his rewaid.
Once more to the temple they come;
but now with glad sounds to herald
their coming, and the martial strains
pierce through the sacred shades.
With e us strained to catch the first
notes of the buttle song that should be
her death signal, Athen e stands with
clasped hands and breathless lips parted.
Nearer and nearer they come. Ah, hot
ter the quick ordeal that shall end ber
existence, than tho long days of agony
and suspense in the dim temple's recess,
where a window open toward Athens lets
in on I er t-onl th endearing memories
of youth, which beat like surges around
her reolve, a-saultingit with the sweet
ness of life She turns for a last look
toward the city, where the sun is setting
on the home of h r past. She leans from
the window ami the soft breeze o .eh
her face with a parting caress.
"O veutio winds' she luuriuurcd.
"bear on your wings a message to the
lonely heart that will grievo for my go
ing. Tell him Atheme forgets not liis
precepts; that sho laments not the end
to which , they have brought her, and
that she could go with joy, could she
feel his dear hand on her'head and heat
his voice say as of old, when her school
tasks were done: 'It is well !' "
But the moments aro short; already
she hears tho sound of voices iu the tem
ple courts below. She mu-t silence the
womanly heart that is striving for mas
tery. She turns from tho window, and
covering her eyes, strives to recall hei
lost courage, it ret urns when once more
on her car falls tho hymn of Sparta's
victory. Yet still through it all ono
presence is with her. She sees the old
look of prido lightening up his sad
face when ho hears of her sacrifice, and
she knows his great love would not inter
pose one bar to the sacritico duty de
mands. Slowly tho old courage swells
back in her heart, and she feels without
a tremor a hand on her shoulder and
knows fate's messenger has come.
Tho august head submits to tho band
age that shuts from her sweet eyes the
light of day, and sho follows with un
faltering steps tho hand that leads her
down through the temple's corridors,
the unconscious centre of myriad eyes.
To tho portals they come, when the dread
tones of tho Pythoness pronounce her
name:
"Lo, maiden, Apollo has given to
Sparta a great victory. Art thou willing
to yield him the promised sacrifice?"
The clear voice replies: "lam will
ing."
"Then swear it. Kneel hereon tho
threshold, with tho sun god's eve shining
on you, and swear that of your own freo
will you give your lite for your country.
She kneels amid the hushed throng,
and raising a steady right hand swears
that in the name of Sparta she offers her
life.
'"Tis enough! Hear, Spartans, the
will of Apollo. It was the poor human
thought that suggested tho life of an in
nocent maid for tho sacrifice acceptable
as the price of success. But behold how
this is overruled by the wisfljm of gods.
By the death of that prido which was
raising a barrier between Athens'
and Sparta and poisoning the
memories of friendship you have
won back their favor. Yet know that
forever is this maiden loved of the gods.
Her brave spirit already has passed
through the blood of its self-immolation.
Her fair form shall bo spared many years
to show forth by tho sido of this high
soulcd Athenian the twin virtues of cour
age nnd patriotism, which have mado
Greece immortal.
"Approach, thou of Athens, whose act
hns mado Sparta victorious, and load
back to life tho child who would have
died for her ransom."
Bewildered by these words, Athcnie
feels a hand gently raiso her and draw
tho veil from her face. When he sees
her tho voice so familiar to her car rends
tho nir with a joyous cry, and darkness
glancing from her sight liko a cloud, she
sees, not tho minister of death, but
around her a host of weeping warriors,
and at her feet the poet.
Then, pleased with tho scene, Apollo
kissed with his bright beams tho lips of
the lovers, and sank to his rest, leaving
over them all a fair afterglow like tho
smile of approving love.
Why tho Conductor's Jaw Fell.
Ono of thoso smart Alexanders who
travel on his check and the inability of
the public to change $20 bills for a glass
of soda, got on a Pennslyvauia avenue
car tho other day and tendered tho afore
said $20 for his fare. Of course the con
ductor could not change it and so ho got
his rido free. Tliii was repeated until
the conductor got tired of it, and after
tho fourth or tilth time of its repetition
ho determined to get even with the fel
low. By visiting the toll-house, and by
other means unknown, the manipulator
of tho bell punch managed to scrapo up
$1 '.1.1)5 iu pennies.
Placing these in a littlo bucket ho
quietly awaited the appearance of bis
victim, having posted the driver and
somo other intimate friends who hap
pened to boon board. When the unsus-
Eecting man with the plethoric pocket
ook put iu an appearance end promptly
produced tho "twenty," w ith many apol
ogies, tho conductor pocketed tho bill
and produced his little bucket, and amid
the grins of tho spectators presented it
to bis customer. Tho young man looked
pretty cheap, and after feeling the heft
of the bucket, thoughtfully got off tho
car and disappeared aiouml a comer.
Then tho conductor took tho bill from
bis pocket and proceeded to fold it up
nicely so that it would tit into a conven
ient corner of his pocketbook. Some
thing iu the appearance of the bill caught
his eyo, ami, as ho examined it a little
closer, his jaw dropped about a foot.
Tho bill was a counterfeit. The young
man had also been laying for tho con
ductor. l'ittuburij Commercial.
The European Honey Market.
Notwithstanding the enormous supply
of beet sugar in hurope, which has sud
denly brought down the prices of sweets,
the demand for honey has increased of
lato years, and "honey fairs" throughout
Kngkiud ure well patronized, while
honey associations and companies h ivo
greatly imnroved the varieties offered
for snlo and their marketable condition.
Comb honey is always in demand and the
trade in strained has raised up in the
bottlers' business something of the same
agencies for disposing of honey that tho
creameries ure everywhere for milk.
There aro seventeen or eighteen variet'es
of honey produced in Hertfordshire
alone, and I he business in hives and in
tin boxes for transporting honey is
quite extensive. '; Ifihin J.-irer.
There are 20,001) houses iiiBeilin in
each of which from twenty to thii'v
liuuilie lutisiu.
VEGETABLE ROMANCE.
A potato went out on a smash
And sought an onion bed;
'That's pie for me!" observed the squash,
And all the beets turned red;
"Go way!" the onion weeping cried,
"Your love I cannot be,
The pumpkin be your lawful bride,
You cantelope with me."
But onward still the tuber cam
And lay down at her feet;
You cauliflower by any name
And it will smell as wheat;
And I, too, am an early rose,
And you I've come to see,
So don't turnip your lovely nose,
But Spinach at with me.
I do not care at all to wed,
So go, sir, if you please 1
The modest onion meekly said.
And lettuce pray have eas;
So think that you have never set
Myself or smelted my sigh; ' , ' "..
Too long a maiden I have been
For favors in your rye.
Ah ! spare a cress, the tuber prayed ;
My cherry-shed bride you'll be, -You
are the only weeping maid ; ,
That's currant now with me! '
And as the wily tuber spoke, " -', .
He caught her by surprise, 'J -And,
giving her an artichoke, ' ; " : ' ;
Devoured her with his eyes. ... - .
Nancy Nehon Pendleton,
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
A big trade Swapping elephants.
Sitinffs.
Circus tumblers are afflicted with a
vaulting ambition. Lowell Citizen.
The man who minds his own business
as he ought to is seldom idle. Call.
If a watch company should get into
financial difficulties could it do business
on tick?
A hen in the garden of a woman has
a "shoo" her enough chance of being run
out. Picayune.
"Where are the British Isles located,
John?" John "Tho British aisles are
located iu the British churches, of
course. " Hi tings.
There aro few more pleasant sounds
than the ringing Wows of a woodman's
ax when some one else is wielding the
as. Somerville Journal.
Policemen ore very impartial
When arre.tte they are making,
They put men in jail for sale-keeping,
And some for safe-breaking.
'1 til-Bits.
"I'm looking for employment," said &
young mau entering a merchant's office.
"You are, hey? Well, you'll find it ia
the dictionary over there er
E'a."2'id-Bits.
among the
Her eyes were bright,
Her face was fair.
Her teeth gleamed out like pearls;
Hr nock was white,
Her wavy hair
Hung down iu suuny curls
By why attempt to toll of all
The charms of baby's big wax doll?
Alerchant Traveler.
A defaulting cashier endeavored to ex
cuse his financial dereliction on tho plea
tliuf tin wita rtnlv fullfiwintr riot tliA snrin.
! tural injunction to "Hold last that which
is good." JJoston 1'ont.
Tho Hussions aro taking the lead in
fiction. It is no troublo lor a Hussian
novelist to fill a book. When ho writes
the names of five or six of his charac
ters one volume is completed. Arkaiuaw
2 'ra crier.
Nine one-legged men played a game
of baseball against nine one-armed men
in Southern Illinois tho other day. Tho
one-armed men had tho advantage of be
ing ablo to kick against tho umpire's de
cisions. Chxemjo Ante.
She went adowu the garden walk,
His arm was 'round her waist;
"Mow don't do that," she bluntly said,
"You know it's in bad taste.'1
"I'm sure I cannot sjb it so,"
He said with some grimaces,
"My hund I'm only trying now.
At mukiug glud waist places. 1
lioatoii liudQfl.
Swedish- Manners.
Ono great peculiarity of traveling in
Sweden is the extreme quiet and lack of
flurry. The Swedish are a taciturn and
noiseless sort of people. They do much
by signs, and never shout; a Swedish
crowd makes singularly little sound.
Swedes, oven of thu lowest class, novcr
push or jostle It is the custom to do
so much bowing and hat-lifting that one
is obliged to move more slowly than in
America to give timo for all this cour
tesy. When a train leaves u platform or
a steamboat pier all the lookers-on l'ft
their bats to the departing passenger
and bow to them, a compliment returned
by the travelers. If you address the
poorest person in the street you must lift
your hat. A gentleman passing a lady on
the stairs of a hotel must do the samo.
To enter a shop or a bank with one's hat
on is a terrible breach of good manners.
If vou enter or leave a coffee-room you
must bow to ail the occupants. Passen
gers on board the littlo steamers which
ply about Stockholm invariably raise
their bats to the occupants of any other
boat which passes near them. Tho very
men in charge of tho locks on the canal
bow politely to the sailors as the boats go
through, imagino American bargees in
dulging iu such amenities.
An Idyl of the Surf.
A maiden of lin-tun.
One morning while tossed ou
Tho wave of the surf at l-on Branch,
Set, up a Mild s-pietilmg.
With such pieri-ing deling.
That every luce near her did blaueh!
fsho kicked and gyrated,
In a way animated,
While her faeo wore expression of woe,
Till wheu iy wiled she stated,
In vol, m with h ue In i ;htid,
'l lit a lob-dcr shMk uunils wuh her to..