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VOL. XVIII. NO. 43.
TIO-NESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17. 1886.
$1,50 PER ANNUM.
THE FOREST REPUBLICAN
la published very Wednesday, by
J. E. WENK.
OUj In Smonrbnueh & Co.'a Building
EBM 8TKKET, TIONE8TA, P.
the
Somo statistician hns discovered the
fact tbat Micro is not a day in tho year
tbat does not record tho loss of Bonis
British vessel and all its crew. During
Inst month for instuneo, seventy-four
English ships were lost with all on board.
Britanuia pays heavily for ruling the
waves.
All breeding farms in this country pale
in comparison with Senator Stanford's
at Palo Atlo, Cal. Two hundred and
forty-nine brood mares are in tho trot
ting stud and twentvnino in the thor
oughbred department. At tho head of
the trotters is Electioneer, und Monday
occupies the suno post among tho run
ners. Tho Chinese in California must bo ac
cumulating wealth, however deficient
they may bo in influence. A Chinese
ytdicato recently ollcrcd $2,000,000 for
tho Palace Hotel in San Francisco, and
were prepared to pay $2,800,000, but
finally concluded that the investment
would be an unwio one at tho present
time.
The present Congress contains nincty'
two former Federal soldiers and sixty
six: Confederates. Those who receive a
collegiate education number 138. There
aro three graduates of West Point. One
Senator and forty-four Representatives
are not over forty years of ago. The
two oldest men in Cougrcss aro Senators
Morrill and Payne, boin in 1810. Mr.
Wait, of Connecticut, was born in 1811,
and Is the oldest Representative. The
youngest Senator is Mr. Kcrtna, of West
Virginia, who is thirty-seven. The
youngest Representative is Mr. I. a Fol
lctto, of Wisconsin, who is twenty
eight. -
Several very sevcro cases of trichinosis
have occurred recently all traceable to
eating raw pork ham. This, it appears,
is a favorite dish with Germans, and whole
families and their guests have been
severely affected by this disgusting dis
ease. Some of tho patients aro expected
to die, but mot of them are likely to
recover. The warning to cook thor
oughly all kinds of pork beforo eating
is vory obvious. So much diseased pork
comes into tho Chicago market that
there is dangor of its being cured as
hams or bacon and scattered over tho
country. All diseased pork should be
sent to the soap-factories.
A leading publishing house states that
when a manuscript is received it is turned
over to a "reader," who, after examin
ing it carefully, returns it with his
opinion as to its merit or lack of merit.
If a reader returns a', manuscript with a
strong endorsement, tho merits of the
work are considered from a commercial
point of view whether it is likely to
sell, how much it will cost for pro
duction, etc. Frequently the manu
script is turned over to a second reader,
somctimos to a third. If all say, "This
is a strong work; think it will pay you
to publish it," or words to tint effect,
of course their recommendation goes a
long way iu the question of publication.
Referring to air announcement that at
a recent exhumation in a Wastcm ceme
tery the body of a woman was found
turned to stone, the Louisville Medical
Assays: ' 'Petrification of tho body of
a warm-blooded animal never has been
Known, and it is quite safe to say never
has taken place. Tho condition of the
body which leads to such a misconcep
tion is not that of petrification, but of
saponification. It is explained that
n'trogenous tissues givo off ammonia,
and this, attacking the fats in tho body,
produces adipoceie, a hard form of soap,
Tho writer, when at tho New Oilcans
fair, saw a barrel of pork labeled, 'Found
floating iu tho Mississippi in an advanced
state of petrification." Jieing skeptical
ai to tho capacity of rock to lloat, ho
chipped off a piece and found that the
hog, like tho human being under like
circumstances, had merely turned to ndi
pocore." .
A man was seized with an epileptic fit
in the street in New York the other day,
whereupon a kindly disposed policeman
darted into a neighboring grocery and
asked for a handful of salt, which he
forced into tho poor fellow's mouth.
The operation was approved by some of
tho spectators, who complimented the
policeman upon his knowledguof "just
what to do" in such cases. "Of all pop
ular remedies," says a physician who was
questioned on tho subject, "that of
choking a man with salt just because he
has a tit is the most senseless and barbar
ous. In some cases it would do seii us in
jury, nd might cause death. , Hysters
epilcptics are troubled with a choking
sensation and spasmodic contractions in
the throat, which interfere greatly with
breathing 'and swallowing. To crowd
salt into it U a foolish and ignorant proceeding."
The wild horso of tho plains and
Rocky mountains is pretty much a thing
of the past. Nevertheless, a few isso-
latcd herds are said to bo occasionally
found. A Montana writer says, in sub
stance, of these isolated bands, that,
with tho wild horses a stallion is at the
head, and is tho leader of every herd,
having such full control over them that
no band of cowboys are able to drive a
band of horses so fast or so welt as a
stallion can. All in tho band are so
thoroughly afraid of him they keep in a
bunch, and their speed is guaged by his
own, ho running behind with his heal
low, scarcely above tho ground. lie ad
vances quickly on the hindermost ones,
giving them a sharp bite on tho rump,
thereby giving then) to understand they
must keep up. Should one turn out ho
follows him, much after tho fashion of
a shepherd dog, and runs him back.
Until his band are out of sight in tho
mountains he keeps this up. Here they
scatter in all directions, in ravines, can
ons and inaccessible places, so that when
the rider arrives at tho place he last saw
them he Is mortified to find his own
horse almost axhausted and tho herd so
scattered that he must give up the chase
in disgust.
A Boston Adrertitcr correspondent as
serts that ''tho citixen of tho United
States is surprised and disappointed to
find how small a part his great country
is playing in the life of tho eastern coast
of South America Irom Cape St. Boquo
to Cape Horn. The Yankee colony in
tho various cities consists almost exclus
ively of those connected with, tho lega
tions and consulates a more handful of
individuals. There aro somo few en
gaged in business of various kinds, with
now and then a clergyman, ship chand
ler, naturalist, professor, or dentist, and
the officers of the United States ships in
the different harbors are an important
element. The triumphs of American en
terprise are rao;e of the past than tho
present. You will still see Baldwin
locomotives and old-fashioned cars on
somo of tho railroads, though the loco
motives aro fast being supplanted by
those imported from England and Ger
many, and the cars are mudo in the
country itself. Stephenson horse-cars
hold their own, and some of tho com
panies are managed by Americans, who
have made considerable money out of
them. In Bio tho New York ferry boats
ply across the bay. Tho Bell telephone
is generally used, but the management
is now principally in the control of local
organizations. Agricultural implements
and sewing machines from tho United
States have a very good sale and AVal
tham watches als find purchasers. Tho
great life insurance companies of New
York have their advertisements over tho
country, and as their officers are in large
and elaborate buildings it is to be sup
posed they are doing a profitable busi
ness." It has often been remarked that dogs
in the country, though they abound in
every farm-yard, do not get mad and
kill people by their bite, as is sometimes
the case in cities. "Tho only reason we
can imagino for such a difference," re
marks tho M'itnets, "is that country dogs
aro petted, tvhile city dogs, when allowed
to go loose, are often pelted. The na
tural depravity of man shows itself in
many boys in tormenting and torturing
dogs and cats. If kindness to animals
were inculated oftcuer in churches and
schools the avcrago of the people would
be greatly improved, as is already the
case in many places whero Bands of
Mercy have been formed. But it may
be said, If cruelty to dog3 causes hydro
phobia, why should not cruelty to
cats do the some? and tho answer
is that it does. Tho bite of a
mad cat is probably as dangerous as
that of a mad dog, and tho same may
be said of the bites of other animals
when in a stato of furious excitement. It
was the bite of a chained fox, excited
by punishment, that killed one of
Canada's first governors, tho Duke of
Richmond. If dogs cannot be protected
from persecution in cities they should
either be banished or confined, and th
fewer of them the better. Pasteur's
success in curing hydrophobia by inocu
lation, if fully established, will bo an
important point gained by patient in
vestigation; but whether or no, so long
as bitten persons believe themselves
to bo cured there will bo much fewer
deaths. It is tho constant apprehen
sion of a dreadful death which aggra
vates, if it does not in mauy instances
cause, tho diseased called hydrophobia,
or something that cannot be distin
guished from it."
A half eagle of the year 1815 has just
been added to the excellent collection of
American coins at the mint in Philadel
phia ; 300 is the value of each of the three
specimens known to be in this country.
TEH WINTER SOLSTICE.
What Is the time of the year?
What is the hour of the day?
Later at morn and sooner at eve
The pale stars shine alwny;
And the low gun drifts to tho south,
So wan that at hoight of noon
Wo hardly know it tho dun light
Jio the parting glow of the sunlight
Or the gluam of the risen moon;
And ever through shade and fleeting shine
We hear tho bleak wind's tuns:
"Alas, alns for the summer fled,
And Bky and onrth so grayl"
Oh. for the odor of violets
That sprang with the April rain,
And tho breath of the roso and the lily
That long in thoir graves have lain!
And oh, for the orchard's wealth of bloom,
And the wheat Hold's waving gold I
My honrt is faint for the splendor
Of harvest moons, and tho tender
Tnlo that tho zephyrs told!
How shall we live now earth is bare,
Andthestin himself is cold,
And the only wind is the bitter north,
Eomonning wood and plain?
Wait! there's a thrill in the air!
See! in the south forlorn
The great son stays his wandoring beams,
And a new year finds its morn!
The stars are a-watch, and the mocn;
The wailing wind drops low:
There's a murmor of daffodil meadows,
And of songs in the silver shadows,
And banks whore tho violets blow I
Let fires be lit, let shrines be docked,
And joy bo lord of woo !
The sun in ulory mounts the sky,
And God for earth is born!
Edna Deun Proctor, in the Cook.
THE MUTINY.
One foggy afternoon a few weeks ago
the captain of a trim clipper ship of
about 1,000 tons, which lay at an East
river pier, was pacing up and down on
the after house, and occasionally glanc
ing out upon the mist-covered river.
Tho ship was to have set sail for Aus
tralia that morning, but owing to the
fog the captain had prcferrod'to remain
at tho dock.
"No, I won't take any chances," said
the captain to a friend who had come
aboard a few moments before, and stood
leaning against the taffrail. "Although
I'm a young man, I stop and think be
fore I run any risk; that is, when there's
any time for me to stop aud think. And
yet when I was a boy 1 was the most
heedless youngster going. I did what
ever camo into my head, and never
thought of the conseauenccs. But once,
just in tho nick of time, it Hashed
through ray mind that I oue-ht to stnrt
and think. I did stop and think, and if
I hadn't I wouldn't ln nlii-,. ,-,,
would tho ship under mo be afloat. I
was brought un on a farm in tho interior
of this State," continued the captain,
"but when 1 was about sixteen vears old
I grew tired of farm life and ran away
and camo to New York. I found a place
in a grocery store, but I soon got tired
of that sort of work. Then it struck me
that I would like to go to sea. so oil I
hurried to a sailor's bourding house, tho
keeper of which got a berth for mo on
this very ship. She was then only about
couple of years old, although
(tout Know that she looked
any nower then than she does now. I
signed articles for. a voyago from this
port to China by way of Valparaiso and
back to America. Wo hadn't been out
many days before I found thut tho life
of a bov on board ship, wasn't a verv
pleasant one. The second mute, in whose
watch I was, often kicked and
cuueu me, ana the mate struck me
whenever ho had a chauee, whilo the
old captain, who always hated bovs.
would look at me as if he wanted to
throw me overboard. The sailors used to
swear at me, and some of them thought
nothing of hitting me when none of the
officers wero looking. All this made
mo wish I had never even heard of the
sea. Arter we had passed the equator
we were carried along by the southeast
trade winds until we got about oil Hio
Janerio. The first evening after we lost
the trades, when the watch went to the
pumps they would not work. There
was some obstruction in them, but the"
carpenter could not lind out what it was.
As tho ship was leaking a little the cap
tain decided that it would never do to
go around Cape Horn with tho pumps in
that condition, so he said hu would put
into Rio Jaueiro and have them over
hauled. "I was, of course, delighted at the
prospect of seeing a foreign port. Tho
night after we had headed toward Rio
I heard the sailors in my watch talking
about the captain. One of them said
that the cook had told him that the cap
tain was going to do some trading on his
own account when he got to China, and
that he had considerable money with
him. I paid no attention to this state
ment at the time. All I thought of was
about getting into Rio Janeiro. "We
got within about a day's sale of Kio when
the carpenter, who was tinkering about
the pini s, discovered the obstruction
and succeeded in removing it. Then
there was no need putting into port, and
the captain gave orders to head toward
Cape Horn again. 1 did not like this at
all. It was late iu the afternoon
when we put about. I noticed during
the dog watch that the men were talking
very earnestly among themselves iu tho
forecastle. Eight bells struck, and the
watch to which I belonged went on
deck. 1 kept the lookout for two hours,
and at four bells, when 1 went down on
the main deck, one of the sailors, who
was known as 'Big Pete,' came up to me
and began to talk very pleasantly. This
Mirprised me, because generally he had
seemed to dislike me. Big Pete was n
tall, brawny fellow, and was the wickedest-looking
man in the crew, and tht
was saying a good deal, for thev were a
hard-looking lot of sailors. After talk
ing about things generally for a few
minutes, Peto said:
"'Now. young fellow, I know that
yon don't like it aboard this ship. No
more do we. You're always getting
knocked about by the mates, and I don't
seo how you stand it. Now, if you had
a chance to get ashore at Rio Janeiro,
you wouldn't throw it away? Wages is
good in the high country. A smart young
fellow like you could get a job on some
ranch, and make a fortune in a few
years.'
" 'I wouldn't like anything better,'
6aid I, 'but I can't get ashore. The
captain ain't going to put into Rio. after
all.'
"But we'll fix that, my lad, if you'll
go iu with us,' said Pete.
" 'You don't mean to mutiny?' I asked,
starting back in alarm.
" 'No, no mutiny,' replied Pete, 'that
ia, not the bad kind of mutiny. But wo
can't stand it on this boat any longer,
anu wnat we want to do is to get into
Kio, and wo can do it without hurting
anybody or robbing anybody. A few
minutes afbre eight bells the second mate
will go into his stateroom for to write it
in his log book. You know he always
does thnt before eight bells instead of
waiting until after the watches aro
changed, as he ought to do. Then all
we've got to do is to fasten the forward
cabin doors on him. At the same time
the man at the wheel will just fasten
the door of the after-companionway.
Then we'll nail up the window shutters
ail around the cabin on the outside, and
we'll havo all the cabin people tight
without having so much as struck one of
them.'
" 'And what then?' I asked.
" 'Why, then,' said he, I know
enough about navigation to take the
ship into the harbor of Rio. There are
twelve of us beside you, and the cook
will work with us. Wo can get along
without the captain, the two mates, the
carpenter and the steward. They'll be
locked up in the cabin, where they'll find
plenty to eat and drink. We'll manage
to strike tho harbor along in the evening.
Then wo let go tho anchor and take a
fe'w of our clothes and row ashore. We
leave ttie boat at a landing and go to a
boarding house keeper that I know
who'll keep us till we get a chance to
run up into the high country, where we
can get jobs on ranches.'
" 'But how about the ship?' I asked
eagerly. I was trying to persuade my
self that there was nothing wrong about
Pete's plan.
"Why, tho ship is seen next morning,'
he replied, 'and plenty of boats comes
alongside. They find them all safe and
sound in tho cabin . Nobody's hurt and
nobody's robbed, for don't we leave our
chests and nearly a month's wages on
board? And ain't the boat found at the
landing? Then the captain ships a new
crew and goes on around the Horn. Come,
my lad, tell us, are you with us?"
''I wanted badly to get ashore, so, as
usual, without stopping to think of con
sequences, I told Pete that I would stand
by him. Another sailor who was stand
ing near us and who had heard mo give
my decision then camo up to Pete and
said :
" 'Don't you think as how the lad
ought to do it? He's light of foot and
wouldn't stumble and wake them, like
ono of the lubbers probably would.'
Pete seemed to reflect for a moment.
Then ho turned to me and said: 'You
aro the very one to do it, my lad. You
see, though wo don't want to hurt no
body in tho cabin, we ain't so sure that
nobody in the cabin wouldn't hurt us if
they got a chance. Now. the mate, he's
got a pistol, lie keeps it in the drawer
right under his bunk, and that drawer
is nearly always part open, so the cook
says, and he's been in there. Tho
second mato don't keep no pistol; no
moro does the steward nor the carpenter.
But the captain keeps two pistols. They
aro right in the drawer of the table in
tho after cabin, and the drawer isn't
locked, so tho cook says, nnd lie's been
in there. Mind, I don't ask you to steal
those pistols. We only want to get
them away from the cabin folks, who
might do somo harm with them. We'll
never use the pistols. We'll put them
in the cook's storeroom, whero they'll
find them quick enough. If it wasn't
stealing, we'd just chuck those piiitols
overboard.'
"As usual, I did not stop to reflect. I
volunteered to secure the three pistols
and was slapped on tho back and told
that I was a brave lad. I had on several
occasions, whilo at work, peeped through
tho after cabin window, and had seen
the table in tho drawer of which were
the two pistols. Tho captain's state
room opened off of tlm after cabin, so
that there was somo danger of waking
tho skipper, but this did not frighten
me out of undertaking tho adventure.
It was agreed that I should go Into the
cabin and sccuie the pistols at seven
bells, if the second mate was then aft
as ho was pretty sure to bo. At length
seven bens sirucK an, aim were repeated
by tho lookout forward. The second
mato was standing aft by the wheel, and
the coast was cloar. I stole through tho
port cabin door and went into the state
room of the mate, who had left his door
half open. Ho was snoring heavily. Iie
neath tho bunk I found a drawer, partly
open. I stuck in my hand and afUT a
little groping I fouud tho pistol aud took
it out. I got sa'ely out of tho mate's
room, and, moving softly through the
forward cabin, I gently opened the door
of tho after cabin. I could hear tho
breathing of tho captain, who seemed to
be sleeping soundly. I groped my way
to the table and succeeded in opening
the drawer and securing tho two pistols
without making any noise. Then 1 stole
back to the door and was about to enter
tho forward cabin, when a thought
struck mo. And strangely enough, for
the first tlma in ny life, 1 stopped and
rolkoted.
" 'What,' thought I, 'if these men ar
bent on real mutiny? What if they mean
to shoot the ofiieers with these pistolsl
Some one said that the captain had
brought money with him to trade with
in China. Suppose the men propose to
secure that money, and sink or "set firo
to the ship, after murdering the officers,
and perhaps me? They could easily es
capo to the shore in the long boat.'
"I looked toward the deck, and
through the door of tho forward cabin
I could see dark figures moving stealth
ily and easily about. What could I do?
A thought struck me. One by one I re
moved the cartridges from the revolving
cylinders, and thus render the pistols
harmless. Then I placed the cartridges
in my pocket and stole through the for
ward cabin and out on to tho deck. I
was instantly seized by rough hands,
and the pistols were taken from me.
Then I found myself flat on my back,
with a man's hnnd over my mouth. I
looked up and saw pointed at my breast
a sheath knife, which was in the grasp
of a wicked-looking sailor. I saw that
I had fallen into a trap, and I gave my
self up for lost. I closed my eyes, ex
pecting to feol the steel entct my breast.
Then I heard a smothered curse from
Pete.
" 'These pistols haven't so much as a
cartridge among the three of tucm,' said
Pete.
"I opened my eyes. The sailor who
had prepared to stab me had paused iu
his murderous work. Pete bent over me
and in a fierce whisper wanted to know
what I had done with the cartridges.
Then I thought that I saw a glimmer of
hope.
" 'There was a box of cartridges in the
cabin drawer,' said I; 'but how did I
know the pistols wasn't loaded? I didn't
have time to stop and look.'
"One of the sailors proposed that I
should be sent buck after tho cartridges,
but I said I was afraid they would kill
me the moment I got back. Pete swore
that no one would touch me if I brought
back the cartridges, 'And,' said he,
'we'll give you your full share of the
captain's money .' I said that I would
go back. The sailors pushed me toward
the cabin door. I glanced over my
shoulder and caught sight of the green
light of another vessel some distance off.
That gave me an idea. After Pete had
shoved me into the cabin door I made
a bound for the after cabin and cried out
at the top of my voice :
"'Ship ahoy 1 Captain! A sail on the
starboard bow close to us! She'll run us
down! Have out, everybody 1'
"I looked over my shoulder. Dark
faces were glaring in through the cabin
door. But the men seemed undecided
whether to follow me. Then came an
swering shouts from the people in the
cabin. The mutineers seemed to be taken
by surprise. A panic seized upon them,
and they retreated forward. The captain,
mate, carpenter, and steward camo out
of their staterooms and hurried on deck,
nnd saw a vessel cross our bows, but at
a good distance ahead. Then the cap
tain gave me a cuff, nnd dragging me
into the cabin, asked me how 1 had
dared to wake him that way when there
was no danger. I hurriedly told the
captain what had happened. He
rushed into the after cabin, and,
unlocking a drawer under his bunk,
took out several loaded revolvers, one
of which he gave me. Then he called
tho mate, carpenter, and steward, and
gave each of them a revolver, and told
us to follow him. He went out on deck,
and wo stood by him, ready to defend
ourselves if we should be attacke J. The
captain summoned the second mate aud
told him to call all hands aft. The
mutineers came aft with ugly looks in
their faces. The captain told them that
if he had the time to spare ho would put
into Rio Janeiro and have them punishod
for mutiny. But ho wauted to continue
tho vovnge, and he proposed to
make them behavo themselves.
They could have made nothing by
murdering him, he told them, for the
money which he was going to trade
with in China was all iu bills of ex
change, which they could not have had
cashed. Then, raising his pistol, th
captain ordered the men to lay theii
sheath knives aud the empty pistols
they had taken from me on the capstan.
They quietly obeyed him. The captain
then reprimanded the second mato fot
having been in the habit of makinq
entries in his log book beforo his watch
went below. After he hud done with
him the captain pointed at me and
said :
" 'I appoint this young man third
mate. He shall live in the cabin nnd be
taught navigation. The first man who
touciics him shall be shot. Now, men,
go about your business.'
"The sailors obeyed him, and they
completed the voyage without attempt
ing another mutiny. I was taught navi
gation, and slowly rose to be captain of
this ship, all of which never would havo
happened if I had not stopped to think
at the critical moment when I was about
to leave the after cabin with the stolen
pistols in my hand."
Nfio York Times.
The Spider Cure.
Spiders were formerly considered to
be a cure in rural districts for agues.
Some years ago a lady in Ireland was
famous for her success in curing people
thus affected. It appears that tho only
medicine she employed was a large
spider rolled up in treacle. The patients
wero ignorant of the contents of this
novel bolus, so that imagination had
nothing to do with tho matter. In Eng
land, also, tho spider has been called in
as au aguo doctor. In Lincolnshire the
creature was treated very much after the
above-mentioned Irish fatfhion, being
rolled up iu paste and swallowed ; but
elsewhere the auimul is put into a bag
und worn round the neck.
A sworc'smau rarely makes a good
politician became ba is on the fence.
JEWELS IN TIIE WINDOWS.
My jewels in the window are looking out for
me,
Tbr-p clap their childish, chubby hands when
"Papa dear" they see.
And just as evening twilight has deepened
into gloom,
I hear their cheery voices ringing 'round the
room.
The rain of snow and winter blow fiercely in
my face,
And many pangs of sorrow I've sntored in
life's raeo;
But those jewels in the window inspire my
soul with joy,
?'y charming little daughter and my darling
little boy.
God help the poor and patient, who wander
weak and lone,
T.rreft of home and children, with naught to
call their own;
No cheering light to guide them in all the
gathering gloom.
No jewels in tho window, no welcome in the
room.
Yet hearts like those may ponder and hopo
to reach at lost
A blissfnl home beyond the skies when
earthly ills are past;
And in some heavenly mansion, amid ce
lestial bloom,
Bright jewels in the window may greet
them in the room.
HUMOR OF TIIE DAY.
"What is your circulation?' asked
the inquisitive individual of the edi
tor. "Blood principally," was tho calm
reply.
Many a man finds out after mar
riage to a pretty girl that what he
thought a thing of beauty is a jawey
forever.
There are 1,000,000 people who livo
"on tick" in this country, not including
50,000 telegraph operators. Xew York
Graphic.
Bob Ingersoll refuses to kneel in re
ligious devotion, and yet a pinch of
snuff can bring him to his sneeze.
Hatchet.
A Hampshire street grocer wants to
know how to protect dry peaches from
tho cold. Put ear muffs on 'em. Satur
day Optic.
Timo is money, they say. And wo
have often observed that it takes a good
deal of money to have ta good time.
Homercille Journal.
"Dear me, I'm continually
getting
into hot water," said the oyster.
"Well,
you needn t make such a stew,
said tho
spoon. Palmer Journal.
"Mother," said a little girl who was
trying to master a pair of tight boots,
"It's no use talking, I can't wear them.
My toes can't get a chunce to breathe.
Lynn Union.
Customer "Why, hang it, man!
You're wiping oil my plato with your
handkerchief." New Waiter "That's all
right. I'm going to put it in the wash
next week, anyhow." Sifling.
The moon shone softly down on them.
And life seo mud more than words could
utter,
Ho said; "We'll live on, my gem."
fSlio said she wanted liread and buttor.
Mercliant-Traotter.
Mrs. Professor Matrix "Professor, you
should have told me earlier in tho even
ing that you wished that button sewed
on. Here it is midnight and I " Pro
fessor Matrix "Wife,it is never too late
to mond." Tul Bits.
Minister's wife (rather trying at times)
"How much did you get for perform
ing that marriage ceremony this morn
ing? Minister "Two dollars." Wife
"Only two dollars?" Minister "Yes.
The poor fellow said he had been mar
ried before, and I hadn't tho heart to
charge him more than that." Milwaukee
IScntuieK
Tramp (at the back door) "Will you
please give me something to eat?"
Woman "Not a thing." Tramp "Nor
nuthin' to drink?'' Woman "Nor
nuthiu' to drink?" Tramp "No cast
oil clothes?" Woman "None." Tramp
"Well, would you tell a poor, unfof
tunale man what timo it is?" St. 1'aul
Globe.
Tcoplo Along the Elbe Shore.
Ono of the most pleasing traits, tome,
in the German character is the kindness
shown to animals. One is not made
miserable, as in Italy, by seeing tho
wretched, raw, bleeding horses straining
at an impossible load, kicked and lashed
into hopeless ellorts to drag a weignt lar
beyond their strength. On the contrary,
tho fine horses which draw the loads of
stone or wood aro as well fed and
groomed as those between tho shafts of
a carriage. Indeed, humanity would
hero seem to bo carried almost to ex
cess. Particularly glad is one to see well
treated tho good dogs which so willingly
drag ubout tho liltlo carts, reminding
one of Ouida's pathetic story, "A Dog
of Flanders." I often see the market
women put down a sack for the good
beasts to lie on, and it is pleasant to hear
their cheerful greeting when their mis
tress returns; and amusing enough to
see two rivals barking excitedly at each
other, while tho women, laughing, givo
a help'ng or restraining hand. All, too,
who have beeen in Germany will remem
ber the little wooden boxes fixed up in
trees or against houses for tho birds to
make their homes in.
But though humane the Saxons are
fond of sport, their; king settiug them a
good example, and there is plenty of
game to be fouud iu the forests. Stags,
roe-deer, hates, foes and badgers are
apparently common, but there seem to '
bu neither wolves nor bears. bVttuuluit
Cur. Vhictijo Time:.
A cloth with cork threads through it
has been invented. It looks like ordinary
wear, yet provouts the body from siuk
Irg in water.
f