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VOL. XVIII. NO. 41.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1886.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
I
Late English papers contain an order
from the privy council which requires
every local authority in England, Wales
and Scotland to slaughter within
two days of tho existence of the
disease becoming known to " them
all awino affectod with Bwinc fever, and
all swine which havo been in contact
with such affaxlcd swine, the compensa
tion In tho former caso being fixed at
one-half tho valuo of the animal and in
the latter case at tho full value.
Pagan Myo, on the bank of the Irra
waddy, just above Minln, and now in
possession of tho British troops, is th0
ancient capital of Burmah and in ruins.
It extends for two miles along tho river
ind is choked witli junglo. Its pagodas
ire almost countless, and one of them
ranki next to the famous Taj M.inal.
Tho neighboring hills aro dotted with
ruined pagodas razed by the hill tribes
(who aro not Buddhists) for tho sake of
the gold and silver images of Cautama
buried boncath each when it wag
founded.
Tho supremo court of Indiana has just
decided that where property has been
destroyed by firo from sparks negli
gently permitted to escapo from a loco
motive tho owner may recover its full
value from the railway company, not
withstanding the fact that the property
was fully insured and tho insurance com
pany had paid tho loss. In other words,
If a person happens to bo lucky enough
to havo his building burned by a chance
spark, and also has it insured in a sol
vent company, he may get twice its valuo
In solid cash.
A compaoy of Americans are to lay a
paper railway in Kussia. The uses of
paper are becoming amazingly extended,
and will bo likely to do somo queer tricks
with rhetoric as pcoplo now may think.
Perhaps it will not seem strange some
years hence to read in a newspaper of a
locomotive "fiercely flagellating the all
enduring paper nails, and striking fire
and thunder from them at every mighty
bound," but it seems now as though it
would. Inevitably cannon balls will
come to bo made of paper, and tho New
Yorker of the future may learn with sor
row and alarm of the demolition of Fort
Hamilton by tho "heavy paper hail'
poured upon it by a hostile vessel lying
far out at aca.
Now, when tho mercury sinks out of
sight and the wator-pipes freeze up, there
is a timely renewal of the proposition to
dam the Strait of Hello Islo, between
Newfoundland and Labrador, so as to
deflect tho Arctic current which now
passes through, turning it eastward and
allowing the warm water of the Gulf
Strewn to flow northward close to tho
shores. It is claimed that this warding
oil of the frigid waters would give a
mild and genial climate from Nova Scotia
to Cape llattcrtis, liko that of Spain
and Northern Italy in the same latitude.
This stringing of new isothermal lines
will be expensive, and the scheme is not
likely to prosper. But it is better to dam
the weather.
During the past decade the savings
banks of tho United States havo de
creased to the number of fifty, while
their total resources havo increased
$227,000,000, and the aggrcgato amount
of their deposits $180,000,000. Tho
average amount to each depositor 1ms
fluctuated from $:J52 to $;t5(. From
the best information obtainable the
number of savings banks at the present
time, by geographical divisions, is as
to' lows:
No. Capital-
New England 4.'0 $lK),OiiO
Middle States VtS UliO.fH) I
(Southern (States 5 5."ojn(iO
Weslern States 4iS 2,7A)',(HJt)
Totals 031 $4,0;)0,000
Of the total number of savings banks
about 590 are without capital, which ex
plains in tho table above tho small
amount of total capital.
The territory of Alaska is si far away
and in the popular imagination is so
closely associated with polar bears and
everlasting snows that, though it is
part and parcel of the United States of
America, but little is kniwu of it by
Americans. There are reasons now for
the belief that at no distant day Alaska
will be more familiar to tho people under
whose protection it wa3 placed by tho
purchase of 18(57, and it would not be
surprising if, in tho development of its
undoubted mineral aud timber resources,
t should become ere long au important
and influential State. The territory is
of vast extent, having more than 4,000
miles of seacoast, and sj varied is its
c'd.uate that, while portions of it are
a most uninhabitable, other sections are,
v reason of the warm currents from the
I'ucifle ocean, made as salubrious as the
middle Southern States.
' The most dangerous counterfeit of
Lnited Stntes coin is a $3 gold piece
that is supposed to have been made
through the rascality of some employes
in the New Orleans mint. It was made
with tho genuine stamp. The outside
is of 000 fine gold and the inside of
epclta and platina. There are hundreds
of thousands of them in circulation.
M. uoLcsBcps, tho great constructor
of canals, has been making some state
ments that agriculturists might think of
with profit. lie says that one pound of
flour is worth three pounds of beef, lie
nsks why cereals are fed to cattle, hogs
and sheep. "Why not." he says, "eat
tho grain instead of feeding it to ani
mals?" He says that England is sup
porting 82,000,000 cattle, sheep and
hogs upon cereals she herself raises, while
she imports flour from America to feed
her pcoplo. .
The New York Timet declares that
"all tho most successful farmers are now
specialists. One grows apples and pears,
and his naino i3 well known in the mar
kets at home and abroad, for thousands
of barrels of choice fruit bearing his
name are scattered over two continents.
Another produces lino butter, and has a
steady and regular market for his pro
duct. One grows potatoes and sella
several thousand dollars' worth every
year. Others breed stock, horses, cattle,
sheep, and somo poultry and hogs, but
all gain a reputation in their own ways
and havo a sure and wide outlet for their
products. It must now be so with the
majority of farmers, for they have been
cast adrift from their old landmark and
have fallen into a network of cross cur
rents which carry them wholly away
from their former courses. An instance
of this is tho dairy, which is wholly at
tho mercy of a substituted artificial pro
duct against which there Is no possible
competition excepting by making tho
choicest quality of butter and cheese.
Ohio river flat-boatmen in old times
used to have a saying, and believed in it
too, that "water is clean after it has
flowed over niuo stones, no matter what
it was before." "It would be comforting
to fastidious New Yorkers," says a metro
politan paper, "if they had some such
conviction as an offset to the hideous
information mado public by Inspector
Lewis, of tho health department, to the
effect that "the territory from which tho I
Proton water supplies is obtained em
braces cesspools, barnyards, 9,455 cows,
1,241 horses, 1,500 pigs, and 20 sheep,
and a population of 20,000 persons with
their dwellings." The first thing we
know some Philadelphia newspaper will
bo finding out about this and saying:
'Why! Hello! Croton water is as
filthy as our own Schuylkill!' This
matter of pollution of the water supplies
of our large cities is a most momentous
ono already, and must become more and
more serkus as our population increases.
It is simply amazing, in viow of the facts
existing, that people are not more gener
ally careful to havo thoroughly filtered
tho water they require for household
use."
The Birth of an Iceberg.
The birth of a hugo iceberg,, a phe
nomenon that has been seen only once
or twice by a European, and to a certain
extent has remained a matter of theory,
was observed by the Danish explorers on
the cast coast of Greenland last summer.
Tho bergs are formed by breaking off
from the perpetual ice of the unexplored
interior to the coast and into the sea.
The water buoys up the sea end of the
glacier until it breaks by its own weight
with a noise that sounds like loud
thunder miles away. The commotion of
the water, as tho iceberg turns over and
over in the effort to attain iti balauce, is
felt to a great distance along the coast.
Tho natives regard it as the work of
evil spirits, and believe that to look upon
tho glacier in its throes is death. The
Danish officers, when observing tho
breaking oil of the end of the preat gla
cier Puissortok through their telescopes,
were roughly ordered by their Esquimaux
escort, usually' submissive enough, to
follow their example and turn their backs
on tho interesting scene. They had
happily completed their observations,
and avoided an embarrassing conflict
with, the crew by a seeming compliance
wl'.h the order.
Chinese Secret Signals.
The Chinese wood sawyers have a sort
of si,'n languago of their own, in which
tho signs aro mado with sticks of cord
wood. When a Chinaman has taken a
contract to saw a pilo of wood he places
several sticks on tho top of the pile in a
peculiar position, which informs all other
Chinamen that the contract has been
let, ail thus the owner of the wood is
kept free from the iinnoyanco of having
a dozen Chinamen a day ringing his bell
and asking for a job. Should the wood
pile belong to a man who is not good
pay, several sticks of the wood are
arranged by some Chinaman who has
been victimized by the party, in such a
manner that no other Chinaman will ask
for the job of sawing it. Any one who
has had a pile of wood lying in front of
his premises for several days without
some Chinaman applying for the job of j
sawing it may Kuow that he is down in
the black list, and will just pitch in and
saw his wood himself. Portland Ort-gouian.
THE WELCOME BACK.
Bweet is tbo hour that bring! us home,
Where all will spring to meet ut,'
Where bands are striving an we come
To be the first to greet at.
When the world has spent its frowns and
wrath
( And care been sorely pressing,
'i'ii sweet to turn from our roving path
And find a fireside blessing.
Ah, joyfully dear is the homeward track,
If we art but sure of a welcome back!
What do we reck on a dreary way,
Though lonely and benighted,
If we know there are lips to chide our stay
And eyes that will beam love-lighted
What is the worth of your diamond ray
To the glance that flashes pleasure
When the words that welcome back betray
We form a heart's chief treasure?
Ob, joyfully dear is our homeward track,
If we are but sure of a welcome baekl
CONQUERED.
it might be said of old Sam Sladger
uia counting uouso was his temple,
his desk was his altar, his ledger was
his Bible, and his money was his god.
Next to his money he loved his onlv
child, his daughter Julia.
One could hardly realize that Julia
was his daughter, or even that she bore
the unromantic name of Sladger. She
was beautiful, well bred and accom
plished, and was sweetly winning in
manner.
Old Sam had determined that. .T.ilia
should wed his triend Alderman Choz
zle, who was worth a mint of money,
and would be mayor at no distant day.
It was an excellent match from every
point of view except one Julia's. Julia
would have nothing to do with r'hr.7.7i
much loss would she marry him. The
matter was often debated between father
and daughter, if that can be called a de
bate, which w as all command and low
voiced argument on the one side, and
all tears and silent obstinacy on the
other.
Had Chozzlo had no favored r val in
the field it is possible the poor girl might
have been bullied into accepting him.
But there was a rival. He was an artist.
Ho was very poor. He was a complete
failure in his profession. He was ex
ceedingly romantic, and his name was
Vandeleur de Vere. Any one must see
at once that these were quite good and
sufficient reasons for any young woman
falling in love with him. At mv
they were quite sufficient for Julia.
At last Chozzle Iwcame too much for
Julia, even though she wasn't married to
him. Her lif seemed all Chozle. Her
father served him ud at hrenkfoaf f
dinner, and between meals. At last this
incessant Chozzle diet, as if. mnw i.
called, became intolerable. So Julia
went out one fine morning and married
Vandeleur de Yere. according to a prear
ranged plan.
"Now, if there was one man old Sam
objected to more strongly than another,
it was Vandeleur de Vere. Ho branded
him, with fine scorn, as -one of ihnm tmnA
lor nothing, ascetic fellows' by which
he was uuderstood to mean tho great
a'sthetic brotherhood in general. When,
therefore, ho received a letter from his
daughter, putting him in possession of
the state of affairs, imploring forgive
ness for herself and 'darling Van,' the
old man's feelings may, to use a novel
phrase, be better imagined than de
scribed. In their rooms in a back street, Mr.
and Mrs. Vandeleur de Vero awaited tho
outraged parent's reply with a good
deal of anxiety. They did not expect
that he would come around all at once
that would bo too much; but thev did
hope that he would, after his first "tit of
passion, accept the inevitable, and his
son-in-law.
iiui tncy were soon undeceived not
quite so soon, however, as might have
been supposed, for two days elapsed he
mic a ititccr maae us appearance, bearing
on the cover the stiff, awkward writing
of Samuel Sladger. When it did come,
the young couple found it very brief and
to the point. It was addressed to Mrs.
V. de Vere. and ran as follows:
"Madam: Your favor of the 4th instant
to baud, and contents noted. As you have
made your bed. so must you and your vaga
bond lie. You have not broken my heart
by your wicked and disgraceful conduct, but
you have closed it ngainst you forever. 1
am a man of iny word: that you kuow woll.
I cast you off; I disown you as a daughter, I
forbid you or your M. de Vere to set foot in
my house under any pratense whatever, and
I tell you now, once for all, that you shall
never have even one penny piece, or the value
of it, from nie. It will be quite useless to
write to me, as all your letters will be re
turned unopened.
Samuel Ola doer."
Writing to the obdurate old man under
these circumstances was certainly a for
lorn hope, but the young people did
write more than once, aud each time
the letter was returned unopened.
To do Julia and her husband justice,
they bore up under their misfortunes
pluckily. an painted by the perch,
rood and acre, but tho piotures would
not sell. By the time all Julia's trinkets
had been turned into money, and actual
starvation was staring the young couple
in the face for deaieis und art shop
keepers wouldn't even look at noor Van s
productions now the landlady who was ;
getting unxious about the rent, which
was rapidly falling in arrears, volun
teered this to Julia very mysterious
piece of advice.
II you can t sell 'em. ' and she ludi-
cated the blushing
canvass, "why not
spout 'em?"
"I 1 beg your pardou, 1 don't quite
understand," replied Julia, !ookiii a
good deal bewildered.
The landlady, in a tone of ill concealed
pity for her lodger's ignorance, explained
that "spoutiifg" trie pictures ineaut
pledging them at a pawnbroker's for
whatever he could be induced to lend
upon them.
Julia shrank from the idea at first, and
Van was indignant when it was sug
gested that he should pawn his works of
genius just as if they were flat irons or
Sunday suits. But Julia had grown
more practical of late was beginning to
come out of her shell, as the landlndy
said and soon reconciled herself to the
notion of obtaining small advances upon
her husband's pictures.
The work of pledging them was by no
means a pleasant one. Only a few pawn
brokers here and there could be induced
to lend anything upon Van's priceless
art treasures. And those who lent any
thing at all lent very, very little, grumb
ling that "pictures were a drug in the
market," and suggesting that they were
prepared to make really liberal advances
upon any articles of solid commercial
value.
In their keen strugglo for life both
Van and Julia became smart and artful
to a degree which surprised even them
selves. Van very soon got to know the
sort of pictures upon which most money
could bo lent, and was lavish in the use
of his brightest colors. But to Julia
must be given the idea of Van's produc
ing endless copies of his most popular
piece a rea-cioaked maiden walking in
a gamboge corn field under a brilliant
ultra-marine sky. Vai soon dropped
into the knack of "knocking off" these
masterpieces at a terrific rate. He worked
upon some half-dozen at once, first put
ting on six brilliant skies, then calling
into being six fields of waving grain, and
then introducing into each the simple
maiden in the excruciating scarlet cloak.
For many a week did the young peo
ple live upon the proceeds of their gaudy
iranufacture, but there came a time
when there was scarcely a pawnbroker
in New York who had not in his keeping
ono of Van's outrages upon nature. But
it gradually became harder to part with
them, or any picture at all, and the
young people were getting terribly
anxious about the future.
"Van, dear," said Julia, for the thou
sandth time, "we must have money
somehow. I'm getting desperate. I
wish, oh, how I wish I could earn some!
But what can I do? I was never taught
anything useful. I can play decently,
it's true, and I can sing; that's one thing
l ean do realty well. But where can I
sing? I have never sung in public. I
have no recommendations nor introduc
tions. I shall never make anything by
singing."
"I'm afraid you're right, darling,"
said her husband, gloomily, as he clinked
the few half dollars remaining in his
fjocket. "You could never make a pub
ic apiearance unless" and here ho
smiled at the quaintness of the idea
"unless you make it in the public streets,
like that girl we saw with a crowd round
her the other night, don't you know?
How delighted your amiable parent
would be if ho knew it. Wonder what
he'd del"
Julia was always ready to laugh at a
qnaint conceit, even in the midst of their
poverty. But she did not laugh now.
She started as Van spoke, and turned
quickly away from the tablo. Van rose
also, went to his easel, began misrepre
senting nature, and in that pleasing oc
cupation very soon forgot about old
Sladger and the cantatrice of the pave
ment. All that day Julia was exceedingly
quiet and thoughtful.
"Van, dear," said Julia, suddenly,
when they had been sitting talking for
some time after tea, "I'm going out."
"All right," said Van, "I'm read v.
Where do you want to go?"
"Oh, not far! there are several little
things to buy. I can get them quite
as well by myself. You needn't
come."
"Needn't come! But I don't like
vour going out aiono at night, dear.
Beside, why should you go alonei"
"For a woman's reason. Becauso I
want to. Now, don't be angry, Van.
1 ou must let me have my own way. I
won't come to any harm I promise you."
And Van gave in, of course.
But he had a fresh remonstrance to
make when ho saw Julia wrap herself in
a faded old black shawl, and put ou a
bonnet which had long seen not only its
best but pretty nearly its worst days.
"What on earth are you putting on
those wretched old things for?" he in
quired. "We are poor enough, good
ness knows, but you have some respecta
ble clothes left, anyhow."
"For the sake of economy. I don't
care how I look about here," and with
that she hurried out.
"Julia walked rapidly, looking neither
to the right nor left. She feared if she pro
ceeded slowly, or hesitated, the courage
to carry out the resolution she had made
might ooze away.
At last she arrived near her father's
house, a handsome corner building. It
was about 9 o'clock, and old Sam and
his guests, for he was giving a dinner
party, were in the brilliantly lighted
dining-room.
Sam S'adger had changed a good deal
since his daughter's departure from
home, Ho looked aged und haggard.
ue misseu ner sorely, and yearned to
have her back with him: but he had
stuck stubbornly to his determination to
have nothing further to do with her.
He had found, too, to his bitter an
noyance, that tho opinion of ncarlv all
his friends was that ho had treated his
daughter with
undue harshness and
severity, not to say actual cruelty. He
i feared that Vandeleur might be driven
1 by poverty to resort to any shady means
I of getting a living that might "present
i themselves, and he was filled with a
i vague terror that he might thereby find
1 himself the respected Sladger in
' volved indirectly in somo scandal
i brought about ay liis son-in-law.
I The old man then was not happy.
' But on this particular evening he was
' less unhappy than he had beeu for a
i considerable time, for among the guests
I was one of the 'tnobs" he worshiped.
I "Well, as I was saying," remarked
; the aristocratic gentleman, continuing a
conversation, "there was quite a scene,
Regular excitement; everybody upset.
I don't say there was anybody In par
ticular to blame. But a scene is a thing
I really cannot stand; and so I've never
been to the house sinco."
There wag a murmur of applause at
this very spirited and aristocratic way of
treating the affair, which had hardly
died away when Sladger's face suddenly
became ashy pale.
He listened with feverish eagerness, for
it was something he had heard which
had caused the blood quickly to leave
his cheeks. Yts, there was no mistake i
Tremulous and low at first, but growing
louder and clearer now, a woman's voice
singing a simple ballad could be hoard.
There was nothing much in that to
other hearers, but there was a good deal
in it to old Sladger. It was his daugh
ter's voice. Surely ho could not bo mis
taken. Making some trivial excuse for
going to the window, he raised tho cur-tains-and
looked out. There before his
very doorstep, was a small crowd ; one
of those crowda which spring up in New
l one as if by magic; and in the center
of it was a young woman wrapped in a
faded and old black shawl, with a
patched and shriveled bonnet on her
head . In spite of this it was clear from
her general appearance and the timidity
of her manner that she was not a "woman
accustomed to get her living by singing
in the streets. Some in the crowd were
sympathetic, others were mirthful, and,
others again, merely looked on and lis
tened, and wondered vaguely.
Old Sam knew her in a moment. He
had not mistaken the voice. It was his
daughter he saw before him . He looked
out at her for some moments, unablo to
decide how to act. He must not, have a
scene, and he must have his daughter.
He cursed himself for having held out so
long. This sort of thing must bo put a
stop to, at all hazards. His daughter sing
ing in the streetsl It would certainly
come to be known and talked about.
The scandal would be too great.
Leaving the dining-room with as com
posed an air as he could assume under
the circumstances, he went quietly to the
hall door, opened it and passed out. As
he did so the song came to an end.
Stepping up to his daughter who looked
at him with steady eyes, ho said aloud:
"Very well done, young woman very
well done ! You must be tired. Come
in and take a little refreshment!" And
then, in a tone that reached only her
ears, "For heaven's sake, Julia, come
into the house and stop this horrible
masquerading! You'll disgrace me for
ever! Don't hesitate or make a scene.
I wouldn't have a scene hero for any
thing. I'll take all back I wrote vou.
1 daie say your husband's a very good
leiiow in his way,
in his way. I'll make friends
with him too. You shan't want
money, either of you." And so sav
for
the old man drew her into the house.
What passed between father and
daughter then, is, perhaps, hardly worth
relating, but a reconciliation must have
been effected, for tho young couple and
tho old man are now on the friendliest
terms.
Strango to relate, Sam has come to be
fond of his son-in-law, for Vandeleur
has made a name as the founder of a new
school of art, by his friends and admir
ers called the Mystic, and by his de
tractors called tho Moonstruck, and
which, whatever its claims to considera
tion, is talked and written about a great
deal, and that is the main thing, after
all.
Julia says she has no secrets from her
husband, but, all the same, Vandeleur
has never learned what became of his
wife when she donned the old bonnet
and shawl, or how it was that Sam Slad
ger's heart warmed so suddenly to his
runaway daughter and her husband
Food of the Burmese.
Tho flesh of the python is much es
teemed bv the Karens for food, aud the
gall bladder for medicine. All lizards
of the varauidic family are highly valued
for food, and sought for in hollow trees
by the aid of dogs. The Karens steal
up the tree with a noose at the end o! a
bamboo, and snaro them while leap
ing for tho water, or catch them in a
boat beneath the tree. The head is
deemed venomous; but the flesh of the
othei parts is preferred to fowls. If not
needed for immediate consumption, the
captive is rendered helpless by breaking
some of the toes and knotting the sinews.
The eggs aro equally esteemed. The
padat (Lioptlus guttagus) is herbivorous,
and in high favor as a viand. The flesh
of the mijyoung (Crockodilus), which is
very common and reaches thirty feet in
length, is In great request for food. A
kind of turtle during the inundations
becomes scattered about the country, and
on the sucsidence of the floods, and dur
ing the grass burniug in April, many are
either caught alive, or their scorched
bodies are found afterward, and greatly
relished by tho people. The flesh of the
soft turtles is generally eaten by the
Burmese, aud may bo good, though tho
animals are carnivorous. The loikpyen
won is algivorous, and is tho "edible
turtle" of India. The boatmen on the
river make it a practice, when mooring
at a spot, to hunt in the neighboring
thickets for lizards, chameleons, snakes,
and similar reptiles, with which they
flavor the invariable dish of boiled rice.
Even lizards found dead are esteemed a
great delicacy when cooked. The Bur
mese exhibit decided peculiarities in
their choice of comestibles. There is a
small kind of beetle which fabricates
balls of clay as a nidus for its progeucy,
about the same size as tenuis balls, and
buries them in grouud where cattle are
stalled. These bulls are eagerly sought
after by tho Burmese for tho sake of the
dainty grub contained within, which
thev devour with uncommon relish.
Tlt'e Field.
Only twenty-five per cent, of the 50.
000 Iudiau children in this country are
receiving any education.
LOVE'S A rPEAL.
If I should listen, listen, love,
With longing ear, in time of kUure,
Unto a redbreast's song above,
Feeling a thrill at every measure,
'Twould be ingratitude, my love,
If, when the song had ceased above,
I took the life that gave me pleasured
But if, when it had died away,
And I had listenwl, listened, love,
'Twere only just if I to pay
The redbreast that had made me gay
Should build for it a nest above.
Thou, thou has listened, listened, dear.
With strange delight, in time of leisure,
U.ito a love song wondrous clear,
And smiled and blushed at every measure.
Now, 'twere ingratitude, my dear,
When old does seem the song you hear,
To wound the heart that gave you pleas
ure. But, dear, when it has thrilled its best,
And thou bast listened yearningly,
'Twere only just within thy breast
To roar for it a gentle nest
And Bootho the love that sung for thee.
Edward A. Fuller, in Boston Transcript
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
There is a great deal of Balkan among
tho war horses of the East.
A roadbed is for the convenience of
wheels when they are tired. Picayutu.
A proverb says Hunger is the best
cook. That may be so, but hunger
hasn't anything to cook. Sitings.
A New York tailor says eveiy man
should have five overcoats. Not a bad
idea from the tailor's standpoint.
Chicago ledger.
An exchange tells "How to boil
onions." What we want is a recipe foi
boiling the man who eats them. Bur
lington Free lress.
"I'll drop your acquaintance," re
marked the big man as he held one rob
ber by the throat vrhile he knocked
down the other one. Mtrcfiant-Traveler,
Oscar Wilde declares that he can see
angels where other men see only flesh
and blood. A slaughterhouse must look
like heaven to him, then. LoteeQ
Citken.
Prisoner (desirous of flattering the
court) "I think there is a fine expres
sion in your honor's face." Judge (ur
banclyi "So thero is, and the line i
$10 and costs." Boston Courier.
SHAKKSPEARE SLIGHTLY ALTKRED.
" lie never spoke a word;
Cut with a look of deepest melancholy
He sat, like Patience ou an ottoman,
Waiting for his wife to put hur bonnet on."
Lynn Item.
A California man has a defect in hit
eyes which causes him to seo every ob
ject multiplied nineteen times. H
would be a treasure in a thousand ways.
What a man to take the Chicago census.
Philadelphia Call.
"I have such au indulgent husbaud,'
said little Airs. Doll. "V'es, so Georg
says," responded Mrs. Spiteful, quietly;
"sometimes he indulges too much,
doesn't he I" They no longer speak to
each other. lanitler.
EPITAPH ON AN HONEST MAN.
Here'moug the dead his body's laid,
But his aoul is in heaven a dweller;
For this man never tailed, whilo he lived, il
is said,
To return a borrowed umbrella.
Hoiton Courier,
A South Carolina woman rode twenty
five miles through a drenching rain to ,
marry tho man she loved. Seems at
though a man would be rather shy about
marrying a woman with so much euergj
as that. Burlington Free lYet.
Ethel "Mamma, I think Frank meani
business." Mamma "Why, what I
way to talk, child! But tell me what
makes you think so?" Ethel "He gavi
me a pair of sleeve butonslust night and
they were linked." Kentucky State
Journal. t
He aked, " Why is that look of pain
1'pou thy lovely face;
Why on that brow hath agony
Hot its corroding trace
Ah! tell me, dear, why misery
Thy sinless anul dot:i blight;"
"Oh, darling," she replied, "because
My now boots are so ticht."
Huston Gazette
A boy who bought a quart of New
Orleans molasses at a Cincinnati grocerj
store tho other day found a diamond
ring worth $.'00 in tho stuff. Grocery
clerks should have their rings made to
fit tighter somebody will get choked
on a cluster ring yet. Milwaukee Senti
nel. Japan Village Shops.
Japanese villages are full of shops.
There is scarcely a house which does not
sell something. Where the buyers corn
from, and how a profit can be made is a
mystery. Many of the things are eat
ables, such as dried fishes, ono aud a
half inches longk impaled on sticks;
cakes, sweetmeats composed of rice,
Hour, and very little sugar; circular
lumps of rice dough, called mochi; roots
boiled in brime; a white jelly made
from beans; and ropes, straw shoes foi
men aud hortos, straw cloaks, paper um
brellas, paper waterproofs, toothpicks,
pnper inouchoirs, tobacco pipes, hairpins,
and numerous other tilth's ma le of ham
boo, straw, grass and wool. These
goods are ou stands, and in the room be
hind, open to tho street, all the domestic
avocations aro going on, and tins house
wife is usually to be seen boiling water
or sewing, with a baby tucked in tlu.
back of her dress. A lucifer factory has
recently been put up in oun place, and
in many house fronts nun are cutting
up wood into lengths for matches. In
o! hers they are husking rice, a very la
boiious process, iu which tho grain is
pounded in u mortar sunk iu tho lloor by
u tlttt-cniled wooded pestle, attached to
u long horizontal lever, which is woiked
by the feet of a man, invariably naked,
whostauds at the other extremity,