THE FOREST REPUBLICAN
Ia pabllihed every Wodnc.dtr, bf
J. Z. WENK.
OlMce ia Smenrbaugh & Co.'s Bull ding
EtM STREET, TI ON EST A, Tf.
Terms,
f 1.00 per Year.
No nb.crlptlon. received for a thorter period
(nun lhr nionUin.
OoiretpoTKlenre nollclted from (II pert, of tho
cnnntry. No notice will be taken of anonrmoiu
communication..
CYPliKSS.
I.
Moonlight, and love, and .singnolla treot;
A bare, gray houso on a lonely hill;
A l iver bolow, with tlio swoop of tea;
An air of stillness, bo strangely stilll.
Fo still of trouble or strife or stir,
1 heard my heart as It boat for her.
ner lover nml she and the eypross trees;
Anil I? Alono by the black lagoon '
A plnoe of ghosts an.l of mysteries
, Lnlto lilies uphold to tho loveless moon;
The darknos slain by tlio sword of cay
And under tho cypress trees hidden away.
in.
Hor wond rous hair 1 Her eyes were as large
As torch-loKt doer's, that feeding in moss,
And Boeing tho light j t Jle huntsman's barge,
Lifts up it head and comes wading across,
Wide eye d and dazed, and roaches its head
Trusting and reaching-and so, shot dead!
IV.
" The cypress is secret as death," said I,
"And Doath, ho is denror to me than gold,"
. Bo tho cypress wood and the wave hard by
. Have many and many a secret to hold
Kor w hy did sho turn to tho wood and tho
wave
And look and look as in dead love's grave?
Chicago Current.
. WANTED, AJHIESS SUIT.
a nuMonors story fhom tiie oermax.
"By Jove! that miserable tailor is
enough to drive a man crazy," cried
Judgo Henry Winkler desperately, not
knowing whether to cursa or laugh. He
pneed the room as ho spoke, like a cn-ed
animal, Poor fellow I His anger was
not unreasonable ns ho ttrodo up aud
down the limited simc.n bin l.ulp .1 , .o...l
, ......
and perfumed, and attired ia shining
patent hat her boots, linen faultlessly
laundricd-but tliero our description
must cease, and wo must not further di-
lntO fin Mil ,rlilirrrsi.'....'a
... -p.v.ni s ojipurei. ICS,
Henry Winkler was to be married at 13
o clock, sharp, to his ndored Aurelia, in
ono of tho most fashionablo churches.
The tailor had promised him to deliver
his dress suit at his apartments at 10
o'clock, and now it was quite 11:30, and
Mr. Winkler stood arrayed in spotless
white and there were no signs of a swallow-tail
anywhere 1
Do you know what I would do?"
ventured an officious groomsman, who
had como to escort tho judgo to church.
"I would just put on my morning coat
and start at onco. I do believe that
this will be the very best thing you can
-do just now."
"Bring mo a hatful of last year's bail,
but pray do not mention my morning
coat, nor put in a plea for mv trousers,"
cried Winkler, laughing wildly. "Ono
can see the sunshine through my coat;
and leaving out such trifles us stvlo and
cut, my trousers, which were black ten
years ago, are now of such u hue as to
be totally indescribable Man is always
a laughable object when ho is gettinir
married, even at his best ; but if 1 array
myself as you suggest 1 am half afraid
that Aurolia would soy 'No' instead of
Yes' when .wo meet at the altar."
"But w hat is to be donor urged the
groomsman. "What can you dof It is
getting late. Did you not say that the
tailor saidlO o'clock. See, it is 11:30 "
cried Charley Held, nervously. '
"He certainly said 10 o'clock," the
judge answered, solemuly.
"Weil, suppose we send for your dress
suit!" taid Charley.
"What are you drcamiug of?" returned
the judge. "It would take more than
an hour for any messenger to get from
hore to tho tailor shop."
"You arc right, "sighed Charley. "But
tell mo what was your reason for order
ing your wcddingcloth.es so late? They
should have been hero a week ago. Why
were you so foolish?"
'I was foolish to trust to that beast of
a tailor. I always put olt things until
the very last moment, and now 1 am to
bo punished, I suppose," and Henry
Winkler threw himself into an arm-chair.
"Look at my new dress suit," said
Charley Held, smoothing his coat down
lu front of a long dressing glass.
"Doesn't it fit me wclU Oil, I was
smarter than you, judge, for my dress
suit was ordered in good time and sent
homo a. week ago. I had it made ex
pressly to wait on you."
"Your lecture may be vcrv amusing,"
groaned the judge, "but it fails to keep
mo out of this muddle."
Suddenly the judgo bounded up from
tho arm-chair, grasped tho astonished
Charley by the shoulders, and looked at
him fixedly, while ho cried :
"But you can help mo if you will, old
fellow. I sco that you can be of tho
greatest assistance to mo in this, tho
most threatening moment of my exist
ence." "I," answered tho surprised friend.
"What on earth c:in I do to help you
now? I cannot eee my way."
"But you will see your way. Look in
tho glass, my dear boy. See how we
stand as much aliko in figure as two
peas."
"Well, what of that?" nskod Charley,
as tho judgo devoured his figure with
his large brown eyes.
"Don't you fee, my dearest friend,
how you run help me? Why, you muBt
lend mo your dress suit so that I can
hurry and get married," the judgo said,
impetuously.
"What could Mr. Held do! He gave
one long, despairing glance at his tall,
file figure in tho glass, nnd thought of
tho charming Bertha, whom he, as best
mau, whs to escort to the altar. Alas!
he had contemplated this pleasure for
weeks, and now he was to be undressed,
like a naughty boy, in the middle of tho j
day! He was angry with himself that
he hud strutted before the glass aud
called the judge's attention to his dress
suit, but some one had to suffer, tvi-
VOL. IVIII. NO. 20.
dently, and so Charley resigned his
new clothes to his enraptured friend.
It took Judgo Winkler but a moment
to slip into the dress suit, and roon ho
had arrived at the church, escorted by
tho faithful Charley, who had donned
the perforated morning coat and the
despised trousers. Winkler was the
happiest of men, nnd Charley one of
the faddest, as ho walked up "tho aisle
with tho lovely Berth on his arm, at
whom ho dared not look, n for fear she
would break oil her cngajement with
him. An hour later tho newly-married
pair went in tho cars steaming away to
Greonwald, where they were to pass their
honeymoon. Tho judgo had bribed the
guard to give them a separate carriage.
He had thrown off his overcoat and sat
with his arm around his wife, pressing
her tight against Charley Hold's dress
coat.
"My dear husband, did you not as
sure mo that you never smoked?" the
newly-wed spouso demanded.
"You arc certainly right, my little
darling." the judgo replied; "I , never
smoke."
"Well, what is that in your coat
pocket?" the girl asked, smiling.
"It is nothing but my note-book,"
the judgo answered.
"A note-book, indeed," cried Mrs.
Winkler. "I will bet anything it is a
cigar-case."
About half a minute later tho young
wife had thrust her nimble finders in
her husband's pocket and had drawn out
a real, true cigar-case, nnd such a cigar
case all embroidered and perfumed,
and bearing on its back this inscription:
'Tn mv rlnnrnof '
Casting an ancrrv and astonished look
at her husband, Mrs. Winkler said:
"What mado you deny tho fact that
you smoked? Did you think I would
bo displeased? But tell mo, "she added,
in a changed voice, "who embroidered
this case for you?"
"Now I am in a predicament," tho
judge thought to himself, and laughed
nervously, at which his wifo seemed
to regard him with increased displeas
ure. "This cigar case belongs to a friend of
mine," ho stammered.
"This is a pretty tale," cried Mrs.
Winkler, nnd she drew out of the side
of tho card -case a perfumed, pink-hued
note, folded in a lover's knot. Tho cars
stopped for a while, and Judze Winkler
left the train that ho might procure some
fruit for his bride. AVhile tho judge
was absent his wifo utilized his absence
in perusing the note, which ended with,
"Your always loving Bertha."
This capped the climax. Horn sho
was on her wedding tour, just beginning
life with a man who could deceive her
so shamefully. She was almost wild
with anger and pain. When Judge
Winkler returned with the lunch his
wife would not speak to him. Sho had
taken another seat and refused even to
look at him. As the train approached a
second stopping placo Judgo Winkler,
almost beside himself, exclaimed: "Au
rclia, you must listen yon must answer
me! Speak, and let mo hear how I have
had tho misfortune to offend my soul's
idol!"
Aurelia seated herself opposito her
husband. She looked him straight in
tho eyes and said : "I intend to leave
you at tho noxt station."
"Great heaven! you surely do not
mean what you say. Tell mo. I implore
you, what has happened and how 1 have
offended you!" Judge Winkler cried,
now thoroughly astonished.
"I shall leave you and return to my
parents in Berlin," tho young wife said,
bursting into tears.
"What for? What have I done?" asked
the bewildered judge,
"You are a hypocrite, a traitor, a fiend.
You have broken your poor wife's heart
and made n mkerablo woman out of a
trusting bride," tho girl criod, weeping
bitterly.
"My dear girl, calm yourself tell me
what is the matter. Only speak, I beg
you," said the judgo, tryiog to calm Au
relia's excitement.
"Dearest love " he began.
"I am not your dearest lovo," cried
Aurelia. "It is your 'always loving Ber
tha,' who is your dearest love, you vile
wretch."
"But I have no 'always loving Ber
tha,' " echoed tho judgo. "You must be
crazy, Aurelia."
"I wish to heaven I was crazy; then I
would bo deaf to your villainy," cried
Aurelia. "Hare, tuko your lovo letter
and let me go," she said, .handing him
tho rose colored note. The judge
glanced at the note, and, laughing wild
ly, he struck his forehead with his open
hand. .
"I see it all now!" ho cried. "This,
of course, came out of tho cigar-case,
and the cigar-caso came out of Charley's
pocket. My darling wife, I have com
menced our married life wrong by con
cealing something from you, which, per
haps, I should have acknowledged at the
beginning. That wretch of a tailor
failed to send my wedding clothes home
in time. My packed trunk had been sent
to tho cars, and an old, torn suit was all
I had in my rooms. This is Charley's
coat; the cigar-caso is Charley's, an! the
'ever loving Bertha' is also Charley's
thank heaven 1"
"Then, my dear husband, I am your
only love?" demanded Mrs. AYinkler,
smiling through her tears.
"You certainly arc," the happy Judgo
declared.
Aurelia kissed the cigar case as well
as her husband.
"You must always recall this event,"
sho said, laughing. "And you must re
member this, that a husband should
never couceal anything from hie own
dear wife."
"And you must remember this, my
little wife," returned the judge, "that a
wife should never search her husband's
pockets."
The young ife acknowledged her
fault.
TI0NE8TA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1885.
dedaredha11 n8V0r happea ealn'" sLo
Will she keep her word? Wo doubt
it Chicago Inter-Ocean.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
Disease germs are probably much les9
affected by extreme cold than might be
expected. Experiments have been re
ported to the Glasgow philosophical
society in which 120 degrees bclowzero
wns insufficient to stop processes of pu
trefaction. A remarkable property of tho ice
plant is its absorption of salt, a fluid ex
uded by its leaves having been found to
contain about thirty-three per cent, of
sea salt. For this reason it is suggested
that tho plant may be advantageously
grown on lands made unproductive by
an excess of salt.
Professor Young says when you con
sider the brightness of tho sun's surface
you find it to bo about 150 times as
bright as ono of our calcium lights, and
about four times as bright as the bright
est of tho points in one of our electric
lights. The electric light is very bright,
but the solar surface is about four times
as bright as that.
Kecent investigations show that at
Hockst-on-the-Main, while aniline is
poisonous, none of the men employed in
the aniline works who became ill died,
and those who have been engaged in tho
magenta house eighteen years, though
reaaonea with the dye even to the inside
of the mouth, were not in bad health. .
Men employed in lead works, accord
ing to the London Mining Journal, who
eat largely of fat meat nnd other fatty
matters, are much less susceptible to
lead poisoning than others. At an es
tablishment on the Continent, where a
great deal of work was done, there were
the usual attacks of poisoning, but a
change in the food cheese, butter,
bacon, pork, lard and similar articles
being thereafter the principal diet soon
put an end to the attacks, and no one
was troubled with lead colic for moro
than fifteen years. The free use of
milk is said to have tho samo effect.
Tho wood of tho cork elm is heavier
and stronger than that of tho white elm
or slippery elm. It is close grained,
susceptible of fine polish, and useful for
agricultural Implements, wheel stock,
bridge timbers, etc. It is quite distinct
in form from the other elms, and deserves
to be planted largely for ornament and
use. ; It ranges from Southwestern Ver
mont through Western New York. On
tario and Southern Michigan to Iowa,
and South through Ohio and Central
Kentucky, reaching its best development
in the southern peninsula of Michigan.
The ordinary dwellings of the Japan
ese arc not firmly attached by founda
tions to the earth, but rest loosely on
squared stones or boulders buried in the
ground, the result of which is to par
tially prevent the transmission of mo
mentum from earthquakes. An English
man has made an improvement on this
plan and rests the house at each of its
piers upon a handful of cast-iron shot.
These shot, of the size of buckshot, so
increase tho frictional resistance to roll
ing that the house is practically astatic,
and the motion is in most earthquakes
only about one-tenth of what it is out
side. The new process of sugar-making
brought forward in Berlin by Trobach is
purely chemical, differing materially
from the mechanical process now in use.
This method dispenses with crushing
and pressing altogether. Tho cane is
cut into slices by means of muchinery,
and tho water extracted from it by alco
hol vapor, which having an affinity for
tho water, absorbs it, but leaves the
saccharine in the dessicated cane; this
is then treated with liquid alcohol, which
extracts the sunar, and afterward tho
sugar is extracted from the alcohol, or
the alcohol from tho sugar, by filtering
through lime and chalk. The effect, it
is said, will bo to cheapen tho cost of
sugar.
How Arabs Lire Without Much Water.
How is it that Arabs contrivo to live
in tho waterless deserts of that much-talked-of-region.
They are, to begin
with, abstemious in their habits, and
know every crevice and hollow in the
hills where water will collect. They re
gard this fluid more, perhaps, in tho
light of a luxury than as a necessity, aud
use it with wonderful economy. They
would never think of wasting it on the
exterior of their bodies, and consider
that onco in forty-eight hours is often
cnougn to replenish the inner man.
General Colston tells us that when
Bedouins came to his camp water Would
bo offered them, but ott-n be refused
with the remark that tho visitor had
drunk yesterday. By cultivating this
habit of abstemiousness they are able to
cover immenso distances, wliich would
"be impossible for a European, unless he
were accompanied by baggage animals.
Chamber'' Journal.
Tho Ago of Niagara Falls.
Mr. Bakewell, an eminent English ge
ologist, gave personal attention to the
problem as early as 1810, and, from every
thing he could learn at that time, esti
mated that the falls had receded about a
hundred and twenty feet in the forty
years preceding. fie recurred to the
problem again in 1810, 1851, 185(5, and
was each time confirmed in the belief
that tho apex of the horseshoe fall was
receding, on an average, three feet a
year. On tho other hand, Sir Charles
Lyell, upon his first visit, in 1811, "con
ceived" (upon what basis he docs not
tell us) that at the utmost the rate could
not be more than one foot a veor. which
would give us thirty-five thousand years '
.. . i... ...
as a iiuuiuiiiiu ikuu. uub ua ji, appears
the result of the recent survey is to con
firm the estimate of Mr. Bukewell, thus
bringing the period down to about seven
thousand years, Sat nee.
HFE IN" PETTICOAT LANE.
A VISIT TO TUB HAUNTS OP LOW
CON'S CRIMINAL CLASSES.
"Petticoat I. nne" and tuo People
found 'Ihrre-flnn jnan 'Who is
Always Protected from Harm.
One of the very worst districts of Lon
don (probably the very worst, now that
1 fatten garden is no more), writes a Lon
don correspondent of the St. Louis.2'e
pitpatch, is that long, narrow lane, with
its neighborhood, known to the initiated
as "Petticoat" lane to tho uniniated as
Middlesex street.
The dangerous classes of London and
Paris differ in one most essential respect
from the same kind of pcoplo in Ameri
ca. Probably the very worst slums of
New York contain no creatures whose
criminal genealogy dates back beyond
one or two generations.
London, on the contrary, was a great
city prior to the discovery of America.
Its slums reckon their age by centuries,
while the inhabitants are the result of
long generations of depravity, and could,
were it fashionable in those localities to
keep a family tree, trace their descent in
crime back from father to son for many
generations. Petticoat lane has one fea
ture peculiar to itself. That is the great
Sunday market from which Rag Fair
takes its name. On week days the
neighborhood is nearly deserted, at
night almost equally so. The crim
inal tendencies of Petticoat lane are
not of a noisy or demonstrative sort.
This is the great criminal manufactory
ofthe world. Here the most dangerous
thieves, housebreakers, and murderers
graduate nnd serve their apprenticeships,
live, and die. Many of them are utterly
unknown to tho police save by name and
tho effects of their lifo work. Scores of
them have never been seen by mortal eye
other than their "pals." Here theFagins
of London society ply their trade.
In all appearances Middlesex street is
one of the quietest streets in London.
Occasionally, however, a knot of villainous-looking
men will gather in some cor
ner of the street, talking in low tones,
and in a language as unintelligible, to
ordinary mortals as Sanscrit. At night
tho whole neighborhood is dark, silent,
and deserted. Now and then the sound
of a scuttle is heard in one of which tho
dark, blind alleys, leadiug nowhere, with
which the neighborhood abounds. Ere
the police can reach the spot all is again
silent, though frequently the blood
stained sidewalk is a silent witness to
what has happened. But few lights ap
pear in the windows, and no suspicious
character is ever seen issuing from the
doors.
Into the houses which lino each side
of Middlesex street, and fill the courts
and alleys within the arms of that great
cross, no one save the inhabitants or the
police in trios and quartettes have
ever set foot. Yet, stay, there is
one person who is always wel
come, and whom the vilest and
most murderous ruffian would protect
with his life, and that is the doctor. Tho
inhabitants of London slums have learned
that in the epidemics which now nnd
again almost every year, in fact rage
with the fury of the plagues of old among
the denizens of those filthy and over
crowded houses, a doctor is a necessity.
When wounded and bleeding, as the re
sult of some unholy midn'ght raid, tho
modern Bill Sykcs Hies, like a wounded
stag, to his covert, death will surely en
sue unless a doctor can bo persuaded to
take the case in hand. It is a religion
with London heathens the only one
they know, save the honor that exists
among thieves to protect the doctor.
Protected by two policemen in uni
form and a detective in plain clothes.
tho writer of this article once made a
pilgrimage through all that was visible
of five of those houses. They were not
the worst, for into those nothing short of
force could gain admission, but they
were very bad. In two of them the police
showed a large trap in the floor. It was
so built as to be quite invisible. At tho
touch of a spring in the wall some dis
tance off tho slab flew downward, dis
closing a well, whose depth we had no
means of ascertaining. A stone de
scended in silence for many seconds, and
then came a loud splash! The fiendish
coutrivanco is for the benefit of spies. A
person entering a houso whom the inhab
itants suspect, or wish to be rid of, is
enticed on tho invisible slab.
But Middlesex street on week-day, and
the same thoroughfare on Sunday, pos
sesses stronger points of difference than
Broadway, New York, when a procession
is passing, and when it is not. For
many mouths, thftugh as well acquainted
with the neighborhood as is safe for a
non-resident to be in its week-day dress,
the writer was not aware that this great
fair was held in those parts. At last I
did hear of it, and the following Sab
bath beheld me divested of the garments '
of respectability and arrayed, pro tern, in I
those as nearly resembling uisrespecta-
unity as 1 could fashion in clean mate
rials. ,
There was no need of a police escort
this time. "There is safety in numbers."
says an old truism, beside which, on i
Sunday morning, picked constables, the
llower of the force, are distributed
through the fair at intervals of fifty yards.
I arrived at my destination at 8:H0 a. m.,
and found pandemonium in full swing.
I'p the nnrrow roadway are placed stalls
three deep, on which are to be found
every kind of salable articlo from meat
to mouse traps. Petticoat lane is devoted
to general merchandise, and the cross-
streets to second-hand clothing exclu- j
sively. The stolen goods of tho week '
from all quarters appear in tempting ar- i
ray. Every species of merchandise, j
food, clothing, books and live stock, i
every style of clDthing, from a priest's j
surplice to a seedy frock cout, from a j
duchess' toilet to a child's pinafore, may I
be seen on these stalls. j
And the crowd 1 the motly cosniopoli- 1
tan crowd 1 who throng and surge on I
the narrow footpath, forming a solid,
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
moving mass of humanity. Human rats
w ho vegetate underground for six days
of every week emerge on the seventh
for one single hour like moles in wet
weather, with a coin in their skinny
hands, to purchase tho necessities of
life.
At 12 o'clock sharp all Sunday fairs
close by act of parliament. As the mel
odious bells from various churches chime
the hour of noon there is a general stam
pede. Barrows are wheeled away, stalls
are cleared, merchants vanish with their
goods, and the surging crowd melts like
the mists of a summer morning or clouds
before the rising sun. Tho whole pic
ture vanishes in five minutes, like the
scenes in a panorama, the tavern doors
(closed by law during Sunday morning)
are thrown wide open, and rag fair be
comes a memory of' tho past until next
Sunday awakes it into fresh activity.
Lakes or Solid Salt In Asia.
Yar-oilan means "the sunken ground,"
and no word can describo tho general ap
pearance of the valley of these lakes.
The total length of the valley from the
Kangruali road on the west to the Band-J-Dozan,
which bounds it on the east, is
about thirty miles, and its great breadth
about eleven miles, divided into two
parts by a connecting ridge which runs
across from north to south, with an
average height of about 1,800 feet, but
has a narrow, which rises to some 400
feet above the general average. To the
west of this ridge lies the lake from
which the Tckke Turcomans from Merv
get their salt. The valley of this lake is
some six miles square and is surrounded
on all sides by a steep, almost precipi
tous, descent, impassible for baggage
animals, so far ns I am aware, except by
tho Merv road, in the northeast corner.
The level of tho lake I made to be about
1,430 feet above sea level, which gives it
a descent of some 400 feet from tho level
of the connecting ridge, and of some 950
feet below the general plateau above.
The lake itself lies in the center of tho
basin, and the supply of salt in it is ap
parently unlimited.
The bed of the lake is ono solid mass
of hard salt, perfectly level, and covered
by only nn inch or two of water. To
rido over it was like riding over ico or
cement. The bottom was covered with
a slight sediment, but when that was
scraped away the pure white salt shone
out below. How deep this deposit may
be it is impossible to say, for no one has
yet got to tho bottom of it. To the east
of tho dividing; ridgo is the second lake.
from which the Saryke of Pcnjdeh
take their salt. Tho valley in which
this lake is situated is much the larger of
tho two. The valley proper is itself
some niteen miles In length by about ten
miles in breadth. The descent to it is
precipitous on tho north and west sides
only, the eastern and southeastern end
sloping gradually up in a succession of
undulations. The level of this lake is
apparently lower than that of the other.
I mado it out to be some eight hundred
feet above sea level. The salt in this
h'.ke is not so smooth as in the other.
and did not look so pure. It is dug out
in flakes, or strata, cenerally of some
four inches in thickness, is loaded into
bags, and carried off on camels for sale
without further preparation. Sir Pete
Luimden.
Men Who Drag Carriages.
Trot, trot, trot, alousr the smooth
sunny, but bamboo shaded high road, I
have a little leisure now to observe these
astonishing rickshaw coolies. They wear
tho enormous traditional mushroom
Chinese hat, suitable in caso either of
beating rain or fierce sun, under which
are tucked their hard-plaited pigtails
lor even a coolie would feci himself dis
graced were ho minus a pigtail. They
are oaro-iooted, bare-legged, bare-armed,
and wear just sutlicicnt rags to savo
themselves from the charge of indelicacy.
Their skins are sallow, their Mongolian
faces are pinched, their stature is small,
their limbs seem attenuated and loosely
put together. And yet theso demonical
looking wretches, to call w hom "breth
ren" is indeed a heavy demand on our
charity, throw themselves forward into
tho shafts and drag their carriages with
their passengers, who may be ten or may
be twenty stone, not at a walk or a shuffle
or an amble, but at a good round trot of
about six miles an hour. They neither
flair, pant nor perspire, but keep up this
pace for two or three miles at a stretch.
Would not tho most renowned Euro
pean athlete or pedestrian be but a feeble,
coney in comparison? Moreover, these
coolies have to content themselves at tho
end of their journey with five cents a
cent is a fraction less than a half-penny.
They exult if they receive ten cents, aud
consider tho donor an utter fool if ho
cives them fifteen cents. Conihill Mug
azine. A Plague of Monkeys.
The natives of Benares are suffering
the results of monkey worship. The li
censed beasts plunder right" and left,
they invade cake stands, and make raids
in fruit stores, aud no man may say them
nay. The Brahmins of Benares have at
last decided that the monkey must go.
A pious old rajah offered an asylum
across the river in the grounds of his piil
ace. They were deported thither in boat
loads. But they only took it as a day's
picnic. For a steady fife they preferred
the town. So when the shades of night
began to fall they weut down to the
wharf, where boats were always plying
to Benares, and without showiug any
tickets or auy nonsense of that kn.il
deadheaded themselves home again.
Then the Brahmins Bought to make a
contract with tho English laihvay com
pany to couvey these descendants of
Jlauumati, the monkey god, to Saharuu
lioor. They wished to send 10,000 to
begin with. Aud the company is consid
ering the question, but luclinc to de
cline it.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One Square, one Inch, one intertlon. f 1 00
One Square, one Inch, one month.... 00
One Square, one Inch, three months. 00
One Square, one Inch, one year 10 00
Two qnarca, ono year js 00
Quarter Column, ono your to 00
Half Column, one year so 00
One Column, one year ...........100 00
Lrtral advertisement, ten cent. .er line each la
crlion.
Marriego and death notice, gratis,
All bill, for yearly advertleementi collected quar
terly. Temporary sdTertiaemenU maat be paid. In
adrance.
Job work cah oa delivery.
nOW IT HAPPENED.
Once en a time a beauteous maid
Of figure most divine,
Of craeeful carriage, high-toned air
Just cut out right to shine,
Had for a husband, such a man
As women most do crave
A million dollar, and a cough,
And he her abject slave,
'TIs true ho wasn't very old,
Nor either very young,
But he was strong in solid cash,
And very weak in lung.
He furnished all that wealth could buy,
A palace for a home,
Her summers, where she might select,
Hor winters all In Rome.
The rarest jewels, finest silks,
And viands fit for queens,
All these and more were at command,
Because he had the means.
But strange to say, the girl refused
The proffer of his hand
With haughty scorn, and wed a lad
Who kopt a peanut stand.
l'knvol
You think this strange? Well, so do all,
Until they've been told why
fhat poet was to got a prize,
Who told the biggest lie.
Merchant- Tra ve lev.
HUMOIt OF THE DAY.
Sound a sleep A snore.
Generally (w)recklcss Careful sea
captains. "It is not always May," sings a poot.
Y'ou are very right ; it is sometimes must.
A rosebush is thought to be exceed
ingly modest, but yet it wants the
earth.
The only muffs which have not been
packed away for the summer are the
base ball muffs.
It seems a little, singular that a man's
face is generally the longest when he is ;
himself the "shortest." Chicago Ledger,
In the morning, cool and early.
Ere it's time to rise,
Whac a blissful, sleopful season,
Were it not for flies. . '
Merchant-Traveler. .
A little miss noticed the gold on her '
aunt's teeth, and exclaimed in flattering
admiration: "Auntie, dear, I wish I had
copper-toed teeth like yours." Boston
Beacon.
It is remarkable what a difference
there is in the sensation when you get a
letter enclosing a ten-dollar bill and
when you get one enclosing a bill for ten
dollars. Somercille Journal.
Wiggins prodicts a very mild winter.
This shows where the proicssor lacks in
tact. What this country demands just
now in the prophecy line is a winter cold
enough to freeze the tail off a cast iron
dog. Scu York Graphic.
MOON-BURNT. '
One moonlinht night a happy boy
Of cherries stole a pailful.
The farmer quickly turned his joy
Into a sorrow buloful.
And while be roared, it came to pass,
A settled fact the boy learned,
That being tanned by moonlight was
Far worse than being sun-burned.
Life.
A piece of laundry work " Now,
then," said the captain of police to the
janitor of the station houiio, "give the
prisoner a bath, and when that is done,
let him be handcuffed and sent off to
tho jail." "In other words," remarked
the janitor, "you desire the prisoner
washed and ironed and sent off?" "Pre
cisely," and it was done. Boston Courier.
THE HVGIE.NE OF KISSES.
"Chawley, dear," said a lovely maid,
As they sat in the house one night,
"It's unhealthy to kiss the doctors say,
Ho, of course, it cannot be right,
Not right."
"Well, darling," spoke the noble youth,
As the color mantled high,
"I never thought being kisnod to death
fcuch a horrible death to die.
Let's try."
Approaching Earthquakes.
The earthquake shocks which were
felt last wock over a wide area in York
shire remind us that an authority on tho
subject of those phenomena, M. Dolau
nay, of Paris, is of opinion that next
year will see the recurrence of upheavals
of the earth's crust in an intensified form.
M. Dclaunay is a prophet of evil, but
unfortunately nil his prophecies have
hitherto come true. His specialty is
earthquakes, and he predicts them only
too surely. In 1877 no announced that
that year would not concludo without
disturbances of the earth, and as a mat
ter of fact, two frightful catastrophes on
tho coasts of South America followed.
In 1883 M. Dclaunay again pointed to
approaching earthquakes, and soon
after the volcanic eruptions in the Indian
archipelago occurred, by which thous
ands of human beings lost their lives.
and hundreds of squaro miles of terra
in ma were engulfed by tho sea. Toward
the end of last year M. Dclauuav once
more raised his warning voice, and tho
earthquakes in Spain proved how well
founded were his warnings. Quite re
cently he has prophesied very severe vol
canic distui bauces for 188U. Having
acquired a well-merited notoriety in
foretelling earthquakes, some weight
ought to bo attached to M. Delaunay'a
utterances. He affirms that next year
these natural phenomena will bo of a
very intense character, nnd that they will
show themselves either when the earth
is under the direct iullueuco of a planet
of ths first rank, such us Jupiter, or'
under that of a group of asteioids, or
at a time when sun and moon are near
est to our planet at the same time.
Jiotl.
The issue of relighm works of all
kinds by the Presbyterian board of pub
lication last Tear reached over (J, 000,000
copies, and by the Baptist society during
ths samo time 34,U8U,010 ropien.