TilE FOREST BEFOBLICAH I published every Wednesday, Jj J, S. WCNK, ODlae in Bmcarbaugh Sc. Co.' Building KI.M STREET, TIONKSTA, T. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Bqnare, on Inch, one Insertion. t 1 00 One Sqniira, oge Inch, on month ft 00 One Square, one Inch, three months, W One Square, one Inch, one year 10 efl Two Square, one year , II 00 Ojinrler Colnmn, one year. 10 00 Half Column, one year M 00 One Colnmn, one year 100 to I.fpal advertisements ten cents tz line each la acrtlon. Marrlafre and death notlcee gratta, All bllla for yearly advertwemente eollerled qnar. torly. Temporary advenlremcnta moat b paid In advance. Job work caah on delivery. fl fl ri 0Ji Term, it.00 per Year. No mhncrlptlnni received fot shorter period Ihnn three month. OiirrMprmilcnre solicited from nil parti of tho cnniitry. No rotito will b takeu of anonymous rommunlcatloBa. VOL. XVIII. NO. 16. NESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, 1885. $1,50 PER ANNUM. ; WITHIN AND WITHOUT. The tide (low. up, the tide flows down; The water brims the creok,-and falls; A cottngo, wMther-atninwl and brown, Lifts nt tho brink It a time-worn walls. Beneath tlio lowly window-sill A little honk of lildnu gay The wandering airs with fragrance fill. Sweeten tho night and charm the day. The tide flows up, the tide flows down; From the low window's humble square A woman in a faded gown, With care-dimmed eyos and tangled hair, Looks out across the smiling space Where goldon stars and suns unfold; Blue larkspur, the piod pansy's face, Nasturtium bulls of scurlet Ixild Fihe see them not, nor cares, nor knows. A man's rough figure, noon and night And morning, o'or the threshold goes No sense has he for thoir delight. The tide flows up, the tide flows down, In that dull house n little maid Lives lonoly, under Fortune's frown, A 11 fo uuchlldllko and afraid. To her that tiny garden plot Means heaven. Bhe comes at eve to stand 'Mid mallow and forget-me-not And marigolds on cither band. They look at her with brilliant eyes, Their soont Is greeting and caress; They spread their rich and glowing dye Her saddened soul to choer and bless. ' The tido flows up, the tide flows down; Within, how base the life, and poor I Without, what wealth nnd beauty crown The humblo flowers boside the doorl Celia Thaxter, in Atlantic Monthly. TRAINING A HUSBAND. So you want to know how I came to hev'Caieb, when I knew jeat how he used Nancy, his first wife. Wall, I'll tell jou all about it. You know Dan'l left mo pretty poorly. I had two little children, and what ter dew I didn't know. The mortgage) was ter run out in about a year and a half after he died. I'd sent tho children down to brother John's to get ter school. Brother John wanted mo ter give them ter him an' he'd do well by 'em, an' I wus meditating on it, orful "loth to dew it. But what else could I dow with 'em when the old farm was took away from me ? One day when tho tiroo was near cout, I was hooin' the beans ono side of tho fence jinin' Caleb's cornOeld. I tell yer, Hannah, I never felt bluer in all my days. I'd alters lived an' worked a farm, an' couldn't do no other kind of work; so what was to como of mo I didn't know. "Purty good hoen' for a green hand," ses somebody over tho fence. "Yes," soz I. "I've done enough of it since I was loft alone. Practice makes Eorfsct,"wo used to write in our copy ook when we were children, an' I couldn't help heavin' a sigh. "Wall, F.muicrline," says he, "your'n I seem to bo in tho same fix. You need a man to do your hoeing un' I need a woman ter see ter my house, an' if your agreed we'll hitch horses aud work in "juble harness. I can't find no hired flelp that'll do as Nancy did." (Thinks mysell. an' you'll never find another that will, either.) "So, what d'yo say, Em merline?" ' P'raps I didn't think o' nothin' for the next few minuits. It all flashed over me in a second, what an unfeclin' man he'd allers ben. Poor Nancy had ter dew all the housework, an' a good deal belong ing ter him ter dew, an' ho was stingier than an old miner, tow. I knew he was a smart man to work, was forehanded on' was able to live in good deal better shape than ho did, au' jou know, Hannah, that poor Dan'l was just the opposite. Ho was a norful clever -man, was Dan'l, but kind o' shiftless an' easy, an' it alters worriod roe tor have things going so slack. 8c, I to inyself, a body can't have everything; there's alters soma douts, an' a poor man's bet ter'n nono. So I speaks right up an' I lot: "Caleb, we've been nubors for many a year. I know your failing' an' sjwse you know mine; an' so, if you say so, all right; p'raps we both might do wuss." Wall, ter make a long story short, we agreea to tho business right oil. Caleb said that it was stylish to go on a wed din' tower nowadays, and as he wanted ter go deown ter Bangor to see about selling his wool, an' as Sarah Jane Cur tis (who used to work for him) lived about half way, an' wo could slop there both ways and not cost us anything, ha thought we'd better go. His niece, Rebecca Oilman, yer know, lives there, and we could make her a visit at the same time. Brother John lives there tew, you know, an' I'd made up my mind that I'd bring home the children. An' so I did; butCuleb ho was orful sot agin it, but scd, "of course they can come and mnke a visit;" au' I let him thiuk so, 'cause I wasn't quite ready to have words with him yet. Wo stayed about a week an' got homo along in the afternoon all right. Tho next moruiug' I woke purty early, an' I sez to myself: "Courage, Kmmerline, now or never." I kept still, fr Caleb was still a snorin', but bime by ho fetched up an unairthly snore that wak't himself up, an' when he sees as it was gettin, davlight he nudged me, an' sez he: "Wake up, Kmmerline, Erumeiline, its broad daylight; come, come, get up, we shan't have uuy breakfast ter day." I was orful hard ter wake, but after a while I manured ter, au' while I was a rubbiu' my eyes I sez, "Got a lire, ain't ye, Caleb?" "Fire I" sez he, "No, I never build any fires. Nancy allers built the fires." "Did she?" sez I, cool as a cucumber. "So did Dan'l." I turned over and went to sleep ognia or at least I thought I did. Wall, he wijjglcd, and turned and twisted, an' he didn't move ter get up for about an hour, and when tho sun rose an' shono inter the bedroom winder, ho got up an' built tho fire. An' there wasn't no kindlings nor a stick of wood, an' he had to skirmish in a lively way and get some. Arter the fire got to cracklin' In good shape I got up. I didn't hurry none, let me tell you. I most died lyin' abed so long, but, sez I to myself, "ef I make the fire now, I'll prob'ly hev to do it in cold weather, an' I won't do it for any man." Ho was pretty sullen all day, but I didn't take no notice of him, an' ho got over it. The next day he was ter begin hayin' an' ho had six men to help him. 1 had ter do all tho work, an1 take care of the milk an' churnin', an' it was no fool of n job. Come timo to get dinner, an' there wasn't a sliver of wood cut. I sent Johnnie (ho was then about seven yenrj old) out in tho field to tell Caleb wanted him. He came in looking savage, and wanted to know what it was I wanted. Sez I "I want some wood tor burn," "Wall," ho sez, "there's a whole woodpile out tboro. Holp versef." "An' not a stick split," sez I. "Yon will hev ter get a bigger stove to bum that." "Wal, it ain't such a hard job to split it." sez ho. "Nancy used tew, often, when I was bi.zy." "Did she?" soz I. "Fo did Dan'l." lie got the wood, an' said, as he was going out, thnt ho didn't want to be called in out of tho mowing field again unless 'twas for victuals. "All right," eez I. The next day 'twas tho same thine; net a stick split. Thinks I, "Old fel low, you ain't got Nancy hero. I'll lam ye a little something that p'raps ye don't know," So when it was dinner timo I blowed the horn, an' in comes all seven of theso men an' sets down at the tabic. 8ich 'stonished lookin' faces as they viewed the grub. The biscuit and the pertaters. an' meat, an' vegetables, nnd everything was washed clean and put on raw. Not a thing was cooked. Caleb looked blacker'n a thunder cloud. ' "What does this mean?" sez he. "Means what it means," sez I. "You said yest'day that you didn't want tei be called in from tho niowin' field unlesi it was for victuals, and here they are." "Nice shape, tew," sez ho. "Wall, I can't cook 'thout wood," sez I, dryly like. With that all seven of 'cm started fot the door, and they never left that pile until it was ready for tho stove. I never was bothered for wood again. A few weeks after I wanted some money purty bad. I wanted to send Johnnie and Nellie back to school, an' I was bound that they should have some clothes fit to wear I asked Caleb a uumber of times to let me hev some, but he mado ull kinds of excuses. I didn't tell him what I wanted of it, mind ye. So ono day along conies a peddler buyin' butter'n cgg9. I had considerable on hand that Caleb was in tending to carry into the city when ho had time. So I sold every pound of but ter'n eggs I had in tho house. I got nigh on to twenty-five dollars for 'em. When Caleb come home I told him I had sold tho butter'n eggs. "Heow much did you git?" sez he. I told him. "Where's tho money!" sez he. "I've got it," sez I. "Wall." sez he, "Nancy allers gives mo all the money that she took for hei butter and eggs." "Did she?" sez I. "And bo did Dan'l." He got tired of holding Nancy up afore my eyes, for I would offset her with Dan'l every time. He found that I was powerful sot in my way. an' he thought he might as well let me have my own way, and so he sez: "I don't moan to bo ugly, but I won't be trod on by nobody." When he wouldn't let me hav what money 1 wanted, I'd sell somethin' every time. I sold two tons of hay one time, when I know ho only had enough to winter his critters. So, on the whole, he found that I wasn't afraid of him. and he behaved quite decent. I told him not long ago that ho was growin' clever. "Cleverl" sez he. "1 rather you'd call me a dog-gnned fule than clover." But I notice he hasimproved, an' lay it ter his trainin'. How Brnin linked a Uusy Saw. "Talking about funuy things." said a big, bronzed, bearded man in the reading-room of an uptown hotel, "the fun niest thing I ever heard of hoppened in my saw-mill out in Michigan. Ve used a heavy upright s:iw for sawing heavy timber. One day not long ago the men had all gone to dinner, leaving the saw. which ran by water power, going at full speed. While we were away a big black bear came into the mill and went nosing around. Tho suw caught his fur and twitched him a little. Bruin didu't like this for a cent, so he turned around and fetched the saw a lick with his paw. Result: a badly cut paw. A blow with tho other paw followed, and it was also cut. The bear was by this time aroused to perfect fury, and, rushing at the saw, caught it in his grasp and gave a tremen dous hug. It was his last hug, and we lived on bear steak for a week. When we came up from dinuer there was a half a bear on each side of tho saw, which was going uhead us cicely as though it had never seen a bear. This is a fact, so he'p me, Bob," and the big luinberinun bit oil a fresh chew of tobacco. Neto Yuri. Tribune. Some natures uro so sour aud ungrate ful that they are never to bo obliged.--L'L'itraryt, THE TRADE IN LEECHES. A PECULIAR IWDUSTaT WHICH STILL rLOUXI8HB3. Gathering; I.rrx-I.ra for h IOiidon HI ark r( How they are Caiijlit and Kept Applvlnf l-eerlies. Of the two firms in London and there arc only two to whom tho foreign leeches are consigned from Hamburg, one practices as a dental surgeon and the other sells pipes, tobacco, triid other tri fles. Both are of sufficient standing to recall the great times of indiscriminate blood-letting, when, whether the patient suITercd from a black eye, a headache, a liver or a heart, he lost a couple of ounces of blood and was declared to bo better. Now scarcely ono is used where a century ago a hundred flourished, and tho sixpenny leech of even so recent a date as 1800 has fallen to something less than a half-penny at wholesale price. No completer proof of the popularity of the leech with tho early practitioner can bo afforded than by the fact thut the verb "to leech" means to treat with medicine and to bleed, whilo the doctor himself, even so late as tho days of Shakespeare, borrowed the name of his favorite in strument of healing. The slender.meagre, hungry leech comes fiom Turkey, within a radius of fifty miles of Constantino ple, and from Buda-Pesth, whero tho country people bring them in. like water cress, by thousands from the ditches, and sell them to the dealers. They are found there in all ditches and ponds, and wherever there is pure running water, weeds for shelter and muddy bauks and bottoms. They are, as a rule netted in nets prepared with bait, though we are also informed that it is not rare for the hardy peasant to walk bare-legged through the water and strip them off as fast as they can adhere to the cnlf. However they are caught by plain, honest fishing or by human artifice from Buda-Pesth, without distinction of age or size, they travel to Hamburg, whero they Ho in vast pools or reservoirs until the time for their selection arrives. In theso reservoirs they lie generally for a year, and during all that time, if they are properly cared for, they should re ceive no food, or rather no more than they can find for themselves in the water. But this is a rule that is not always ob served as it should be, for there are many merchants who give them blood, and some liver, and some, so that all tastes may be satisfied, the cntiro body of a horse thrown among them, with the re sult that on arrival in this country their appetites aro fatigued, and they are found to need certain stimulants to per formance. From Hamburg, when tneir time of probation is over, they are im ported here direct in bags and boxes, and at the back of the surgery in Pentonville, or among the pipes and to bacco of Houndsditch they lie in shallow earthen vessels tightly covered with gauze or linen, the halting stage on the way to the wholesale druggist and the hospital. With the importer they rarely tarry for more than four or five days, but are sent out almost as fast as they come in in small wooden boxes similar to those used by fruiterers for honey comb. From the wholesale druggist they pass again to the chemist and apothe cary, and when the perils of travel and the variations of climate they go through are considered, the intending purchaser must not be surprised if he finds himself asked a sixpence for an animal that cost the first dealer a shilling for a couple of hundred. Many die on tho voyage, and many in the short time they remain with tho importer, and though in theory the selected leech will stand an extreme of heat or cold, many of the five-and-twen-tic8 and fifties ordered by the chemist, carefully treated as they are, do not live to fulfill what seems to be the sole reason of their existence that of drawing blood. The leech should never properly be ap plied more than once, ana can be applied anywhere. It fills in about a quarter of an hour, and will absorb altogether from forty to eighty-five grains of blood, or in all about half an ounce. There is an ingenious instrument known as the artificial leech, ono occasionally used, but now scarcely ever met with. It consists of a small, sharp steel cylinder worked by a spring, with which a circular incision is made, and with an interior glass cylinder capable ot being exhausted by ti pistan worked by a screw. It is not a good instrument, and is, as we say, not used now. There is a specimen to be seen in the museum of the college of surgeons among the "sur gical instrument series." In England there is a less-powerful species common ly found, though now never used. It is known as the horse leech, from its hab its of attacking the membranes lining the mouth and nostrils of animals drink ing at the pools it haunts. It is in its way venomous, and, when applied to the human subject, inflammation, leading to erysipelas, has been known to follow its bite. There must bo something in our waters unfavorable to the growth and culture ot tho parasite, for not only is the indigenous leech useless, and in deed harmful, but the foreign specimens which efforts have been made to accli matize have never come to any good. Thirty years ago a prominent English firm projected and founded a farm at Norwood for tho breeding and cultiva tion of the Turkish and Hungarian leech, but, either from Ignorance of treatment or changofulncss of climate, they all sickened and died, aud the schome col lapsed. Cornh ill. " Smith, why don't you get your dia monds insured?" said Jones. "Where run I do that?" innoce.nt.lv asked Smith. " At tho United States Pluto Glas In surance Company, of course," aud a cool ness bus grown up between them. J'ilt bary Telegraph. A camel someti we a lives to the age o 100 years. No wonder he has a hump upon his back. Bvtin lindgtU SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. A recent invention for the use of eleo tricians is square wire, which is claimed to be not only mechanically but electri cally.bctter than round wire. Dr. J. Milncr Fothergill predicts a great future for malt as a food. Among other things, he commends lemonade made with malt instead of cano sugar. The forests of tho United States com prise 412 species of trees belonging to 138 genera. Of these forty-eight genera and sixty species are peculiar to Florida. A vegetable leather, said to bo fully equal to the animal product, is made in Purls from gutta pcrcha, sulphur, raw cotton, zinc white, kolkothar, and oxide of antimony. The first two ingre dients are necessary, whilo the other parts may be replaced by chemicals of similar character. Tho proportions are varied with the purposes. Horsehairs immersed in water do not turn into snakes. The presence of what is called the hair worm (gordius) in pools of stagnant water by the roadside has led to this belief. This worm is a para site inhabiting beetles, grasshoppers, etc. When full grown it leaves the insect aud deposits its eggs in long chains in moist earth and water. When seen in tho water its appearance is exactly that of an ani mated horsehair six or eight inches long. In Sardinia, Sicily, and the region around Naples, large cork plantations are being destroyed in the improvident haste of their owners to realise profit from the superior quality of tanning af forded by the bark, and from the wood. The French have plantod this valuable oak largely in Algiers, .where there is now over a half million acres iu good condition. The number of trees in Spain is also increasing. It continues to grow for ISO years, and reaches tho height of some fifty feet; The wood is not valua ble except for fuel. It is thought that the tree would thrive in California. The dental processes familiar to us aro not so new as may be supposed. In the museum of Corncto,on the coast of Italy, are two curious specimens of artificial teeth found in Etruscan tombs, probably dating 400 or 500 years before our era. The teeth wore evidently taken from the mouth of some auimal, and had been carefully cut and fastened to neighbor ing natural teeth of two young girls by means of small gold rings. The den tist's art was also applied to treating natural teeth in various ways, but the fact has hitherto escaped notice on ac count of the rarity of Etruscan skeletons. The . remarkable arrangement lor breathing which insects possess is thus lucidly described: If we take any mod erately large insect, say a wasp or a hor net, we can see, even with tho naked eye, that a series of small, spot like marks runs along cither Bide of the body. These apparent spots, which are general ly eighteen or twenty in number, are, in fact, the apertures through which air is admitted into the system, and are gen erally formed in such a manner that no extraneous matter can by any possibility find entrance. Sometimes they are fur nished with a pair of horny lips, which can be opened and closed at the will of the insect; in other cases they are dense ly fringed with stiff interlacing bristles, ferming a filter, which allows air, and air alone, to pass. But the apparatus, of whatever character it may be, is always so wonderfully perfect in its action that it has been found impossible to inject the body of a dead insect with even so subtle a medium as spirits of wino, al though the subject was first immersed in the fluid and then placed beneath the re ceiver of an air pump. Car Wheels. An official of tho Pennsylvania rail road stated to a Pittsburg DUpatch re porter that there are fully ton million iron car-wheels in use on American rail roads. That figure does not include tho wheels on palace coaches and the better class of passenger coaches. "How much iron docs it take to make a wheel?" he was asked. "About 525 pounds of pig-iron," he replied, "and about 1,250,000 wheels are worn out every year. But do not con clude from that that the iron men aro called upon to supply the 812,000 tons of materials required to mako tho new wheels, because the worn-out wheels themselves supply about 290,000 tons." "How long will a good car-wheel last?" "Formerly it would last eight years. But now the reduction of railroads to a standard guage and the improvement in leading and unloading facilities keep the length of service down. This is because the uniformity in guage keeps the cars in more continuous use, and tho improve ment in loading and unloading facilities enables the cars to be put to more active service. The wheels on palace coaches and on first-class passenger coaches uro known as paper wheels. They are made with a steel rim or flange, and iron hub, but the web is composed of sheets of paper cemented together. They com bine lightness with strength." Weighing a Hair. "To number the hairs of your head is not a very difficult task," the refiner of the assay office said. "A very close ap proximation can be made by weighing a single hair. The weight of the former divided by that of the latter will, of course, give the desired number. If you will pluck out a hair from your beard 1 can show you." A long and straggly one was accord ingly detached, the refiner putting it on a scale, which was enclosed in a glass case, and graduated with extreme ac curacy. With little weights of alumin ium he piled up one arm, until an equi poise was reached. The hair weighed three milligrammes. "If you reduce this to figures," he said, "it would require 8,000 hair, to weigh ao ounce, and sup possiug you have six ounces, you have 49,000 hair." .Yie Ytrk Sun. THE BLIND. 8UBSTITUTB TOXSTXS I3T THE CASE or sxaxTLESs people. How Titer Are Taught to Itead, Write and IIay on Itluairal in strument An Interesting Study, In a general way it is known that a blind man may be taught a few of the rudiments of learning, and to care for himself under certain limited circum stances and after a fashion. And it wns not until the last five yoars that the edu cation of tho blind much exceeded those limits. During that time, however, progress has been mado which puts tho sightless nearly on a plane with those whoso sight is perfect. Tho educated blind man of the period not only reads and writes, but he does so with unerring accuracy fluently and well. He studies geography, with maps; astronomy, with sidereal charts and apparatus; nnd ranges at will through all the hitherto forbidden fields of natural science. Let a seeing man, if he can, read to him a sheet of music; ho will transcribe it faster than it is read, and, taking it to a piano, will compel that instrument to give up a faultless interpretation of the notes. It is no uncommon sight in tho neighborhood of a blind school to see a group of the pupils at a popular lecture taking notes which they will afterward transcribe at length in their rooms. There are actually thousands of persons in Illinois, who never saw the light of day, carrying on an untrammeled corre spondence in characters which nro neither English, nor Hebrew, nor Chal daic, nor cuneiform nor anything eho than the "blind alphabet." Blind men teach their seeing friends to do this in order that they may correspond as other people do. These splendid results have been achieved by means so simple that the wonder is that they were not known long bofore. Until recently tho blind pupil received all instruction orally. Everything was read to him for the ample reason that ho could not himself read, ex cepting in the old-fashioned "raised-letter" liierature.pf Which there was compa ratively little in existence, and which, as is generally known, was traced with great labor by the ends of the bli nd man's fingers. This he could read, but, neces sarily, he could not write. It was to overcome this defect that the existing "point systems" were invented. These are two in number, tho "New York point" and tho "Braille point," between which there is only a technical difference. Taking the "Braille" by way of illustra tion, the blind man's writing outfit con sists of paper, a "slate," and a "point." A "slate" is best described as two nar row strips of brass, folding together something liko a pocket rule. .. In the upper arm are punctured two or more oblong holes like this: Upon the other arm, under ea:h of these holes, and conforming to its di mensions, are six dots indented upon the brass, thus: The pupil inserts a sheet of paper be tween the two arms and begins his work with his "point," which is simply a di minutive awl. By inserting this awl at any one of these points the paper is in dented, but not punctured through, with a corresponding point. Thus an impres sion is made on the lower side of the fa per which is appreciable to the touch. t will be seen that this system of six points admits of a practically unlimited numbei of combinations. Upon these combinations are based tho alphabet, the Arabic numerals, musical notes, or any other character in common use in any literature. Thus . : expresses one letter, : another, and so on. As his characters aro written in tho reverse, the blind writer begins at the right and works backward, as in Hebrew. By theso moans the blind writer at tains a very creditable speed, varying, of course, according to his individual talents. For purposes of ordinary cor respondence he uses common note-paper and makes au impression that suffices for ono or two readings before it is obliter ated by contact with the Augers. For more enduring mutter a special, heavy paper is employed. From writing to typo setting was but a step, and there are now very few blind institutions not provided with a composing-room and complete outfits of types, cases aud other paraphernalia, which are brought into requisition to print anything required. Blind printers, pressmen and binders do all tho work. Maps for the blind, geometric figures and all similar devices are easily made by raising the boundary lines and im. eating cities, points, etc., by brass p J he eagerness witn which the pu seize upon these means of supplying th1 great defect, their great desire to ieai n and their grateful appreciation of what has been done for them compensates in a great measure for their lack of sight. Instructors of the blind delight to dwell ipou the facile disposition aud talents -if their pupils, and exhibit evidences of their work which teach the lesson clearly that intelligent philanthropy has done much to take away the sting of one ot the greatest of physical bereavements. (JIucmjo 1'ribune. Nothing makes a man prouder than to find when he has got his earden nicely laid out and the seeds all iu, that evtrv hen within a mile of him net-ins deter mined to have a cluw iu the job, and to show him how she would bRve arranged matters if he had consulted her. U!t INSTRUCTING A (Than ships ate buried in the sea. And men greet death unflinchingly VVhen, as In battle's bloody shock, Death finds his prey firm as a rock. Or when, between sob-echoing walls, Wo', hardest blow on life's joy falls Death seems unmeet, heroic, or subliBS The mourners give a fitting pall; Fame crowns those who in conflict full; And waves chant dirges on the shore For those who sail the deep no more; Tiiese live in stone, or brass, or thought Half welcome death to lives thus wrought-. With fame complete, thoy merit deathle rhyme. To bear a storm of lies and sneers. And die for right bereft of tears; fn haunts of dire disease to walk, Life pawned, death, visiblo, to balk; To do and die, unheeding fame Tho' man may not, God marks your name Oh, grand and sweet these fates I They conquer time. T. G. La Moille, in th CtirrenL HUMOR OF THE DAY. It is the man with tho most property that has the greatest will power. Low ell Courier. When a man is just about to sneeze you couldn't buy him oil with a con sulate. Boston "ot. "Nothing is impossibto to him who wills," says a philosopher. No, nor to tho lawyer who conducts tho case. Bolton Pott. A grain of sand may be the germ of a Dew world, but a button in tho right place docs more good in the rushine present. Carl PceUeVt Weekly. A writer asks, "Why does tho modern woman tire so easily?" One reason is that tho modern woman usually has a modern husband to look after. Graphic. Her pa and ma were safe in bod They'd gone to sleep with the birds; The girl hung on to the gardeu gate, Her beau hung on to her words. Merchant- Traveler. Boll, the telephone man, has an article in the current issue of Science, telling how to avoid icebergs. We haven't read it, but ono good way is to travel only by railroad. AiorritUncn llerald. Profcsfor Huxley calls a primrose "a corollitioral dicotyledonous exogen," but he wouldn't do it if tho primrose was able to hit back. Some men are terri bly overbearing toward the weak. Bot toix Post. "Have you," asked tho judge of a re cently convicted man, " anything to offer tho court before sentence is passed?" " No, your Honor," replied the prisoner, "my lawyer took my last cent." Scran ton Truth. It is claimed that tho highest faculty of language is to conceal thought. It may be, but when a man falls over a wheelbarrow in the dark, it seems to lose its grip somewhat in that particular. Chicaqo Ledger. A Vermont paper, speaking of the fashion of making gold badges to repre sent kitchon utensils, asked how a gold gridiron would strike us. Very much like an iron one, perhaps, if wo didn't dodge it. Binghamton Jiepublican. At a recent social gathering an Osb kosh woman demonstrated that she could hold her breath two minutes. Within threo days afterward she got nineteen proposals of marriage and au oficrfrom a dime museum. Chicago Ledger. Attorney General Garland decide that an Indian cannot hold a postofiice. Not havinz a very loud voice in the matter, this paper will not criticise the Attorney-Gcnoral's decision, but it does seem that a man who can hold a buck jumping pony can hold almost anything. ArkaiuaiB Traveller. A NEW CONUNDRUM. 'Pray tell me the difference, dear," Said Edward to his loss, "There is between a store cashier And the teacher of a class!" The damsel, smiling, said, "I will, This difference you will find: The ttore cashier he minds tho till, Tno teacher till the mind." Boston Courier. A Remarkable Class of Thioves. The police of St. Petersburg have been for some time puzzled by the conduct oi a remarkable class of thieves, who com mitted robbery not only in the open day, but, moreover, with ostentation. They were Finns, but were all young men. When arrested, they calmly pleaded guilty, and were sentenced to imprison, uient for terms varying from one to three months. At tho expiration of the sen tence, they promptly disappeared. It turned out that they had returned to thoir own country, and had there re sumed their several avocations without loss of social position. The law of Fin land forbids ttio enrollment in tne army of any persons who have undergone im-,"-isiimient for civil offenses,, so these , Finns had deliberately ition. London 'Truth. A Royal Ratcatcher. I once met a chimney-sweep who prided himself on being a royal rainoneur on the strength of having tho contract to sweep the chimneys of St. James palnre. Hut I was not awure until last week tli' there is a proud individual who can ' tho title of "Royal Kutcatc-he- ' I aay "Ratcatcher i"0'- '' Majesty." Sit, 4 haw been viA'y e-t; nits have sf . deemed a'lPv, -tcbet for the p.v, v ..ul now re ceives pay V' i'S l,er xuiiuiu, though whel' . .e other loyal servants, n spti iul livery has been devised for hit lc-u deponut knowetU not. ZwuJen t'.gui o. i . .