RATE3 OF ADVERT! 91 NO.
n. a,,. rh. ntia Inaertlon
L1CAH
One Sqnt.e, one Inch, one moath
.7
Co.'s Building
; i pa.
I. CO por Year,
oft for a thorter perto
'1 from ll tvnrti of the
; l,u takes of aoonymom
One Sqnare, one IncB, taree rnonmi,
One 8qnre, ont Inch, one year
Two Bqiiaree, on T"' i!
Quarter Colnmn, one year ' "
Half Column, one year T T:
One Colnmnjone jeer l" "
Legal notices atttab1lbed rates.
Marriage end 4wla notions gratia.
All bllle for yearly 'J'tm
letiy. Temporary adenleinents most be peta le
advanoe.
Job work cuh oa denvery.
VOL. XVII. NO. 31.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV 19, 1884.
$1,50 PER ANNUM.
THE WORLD.
- a maiden,
I vi a she :
1 lie wa. poor,
ivt lie.
t firm
f an Imltnn plant
til worm!
l word vr as spoken;
i wo hearts were broken.
1 marry a maidon,
ud fond wan Blie;
- Iiikh and she was low,
: might not bo,
1 1 n.l worn a spur,
' ! ttft!o won,
. n with great ronown,
itnreson!
1 word was spoken;
o hearts were broken.
John O. Saxe,
irs wood.
yes wandered in
romising-looking
ihree green logs lay
which an ax leaned
h stove length being
; lor husband and his
ng of a man and boy,
to their work on a
io farm, and sho knew
neither of them before
sho do ? Half impair
1 toward the house, and
! of the pan of light
-1 'c tiopun lo gainer
!iy around, only
!- o bread with
io."
; dinner dishes
;t'"r, and then
'. iach, with hands
- in such a work, she
a horso to a light
lis will think I'm
nelf, "but I can't
i us once and ached
; i, so l in not go-
' pun of bread
iu, anil, setting
in buggy, sprung
soon driven the
between her own
s 's. Arriving there
; n, and set it down
I've come to bake
i and tho others went
vinsr me any -wood, and
it or let it spoil, lien
nil know."
t going to blame him to
I them imagine how often,
1 gone as a bride to John
house only lust spring, she
is same troublo about wood,
right. Set it right down
x'tirc, Susan, so 't il get bet
von knead it into loaves.
Aiil; and if any man's to be
not kecpiu' wood on his
..'.lin Barker, if there is nny
i.iood, and I say there is.
was just so a real fore
.;!, good provider, and took
ride in havin' things spick
:ibout him, but never seem
u what a bother it was to the
Iks not to have their wood
.'uny and many's the time I've
.to tea with John's mother and
. e the greatest timo a scrapin'
liips or shakin' tho snow off
..Arable green wood."
i fo turned her face as she took
for fear her frieuds would
lace how nearly her own ex-
is already becoming like to
;iu.'s mother.
i to tell her," went on her
'that she'd ought to trained
r when he was young. Now,
t John takes a little after his
iiiiav coum woncier ai u ana
r could haul you over a load
good seasoned wood, s pose
o eh, Susan?"
ouldn't do, mother; thank
nine."
of tho November day was
when John Barker, return-
house, missed tho accustomed
t:i the windows.
a upj No fire! no wife I No
' he ejaculated again, as he
a and took a view of the wood
rr fifteen minutes' work with his
t arried in au armful of wood and
ug, and had a bright fire crackling
suapping in tho stove by the time
ifo's ehcory voice was heard,
ve had a real frolic, John," she said,
ng in a basket, from which she laid
veral loaves of bread and a number
' t puffy buiscuits. "I couldn't
v wood, so I just hitched up old
1 drove over to mother's to bake
1."
was not the slightest shade of
t in her tones, but John felt a
i mortification at what had oc
1 resolved it should not happen
.ad so he assured Susan with great
-he next day he went vigorously
to keep his word. Logs, some
felled, others which had fallen
i decay, were hauled from tho
timber luud belonging to the
I for a week all hands chopped
cd w ith a will. Theu tho results
i:g pell-mell into the wood shed,
Un, who had never learned at home
far enough ahead to thiuk of
iig seasoned wood from year to
t proud at having done his duty
:ill.
I'.pau, as she worried through that
ith wood liieenor decayed, too
o long for the stove, made up
her mind (and she had a good deal of
mind of her own to make up) that she
would never worry through such another,
remembering some sensible advice her
sensible, energetic mother had given her
when she left home.
"Hear things, Susan. There's
lots of things has to be borne in
this worlds and them lhat
learns to bear 'cm best's the best
off. Men will be trying, and if woman
can't be patient Jt's apt to make trouble.
Hut mind when I say bear I mean
there's reason in all things, and I don't
mean you should bear things that's out
of all reason. If a woman '11 let herself
bo trod on. she's sure to be trod on and
them that docs it' 11 never thank her for
it or look up to her for it. Bear what's
reasonable, Susan, but if things goes be
yond reason, why thou look out for
yourself."
It camo about that when the next Oc
tober term of tho circuit court was in
session John was drawn on the jury,
and hnd to be away for two weeks.
"Why, what in the world's this, Su
san?" he said, staring into tho wood
shed when he got home the second Sat
urday. . "That's my wlntor's supply of wood,"
said Susan.
"And how in the dickens did it get
there and in such good shape, too!"
lie gazed at it in astonishment.
It was in good shape. Itow after row
of well-seasoned, neatly sawed and split
wood piled to the rafters, with a heap of
pine and hemlock in kindling lengths in
one corner.
"I had it put there," said Susan,
quietly.
Some more questions he asked, but,
with a little way sho sometimes had of
asserting herself, she gave him to under
stand she had nothing more to tell, and
ho was ashamed to ask any one else.
Tho winter brought its usual round of
simple gaycties in the country Neighbor
hood, in which John and his wife took
their full share.
"It seems to me, Susan," he said one
evening on their return from a church
sociable, "you don't fix up quite enough
when you go out."
"Don't 1 look nice?"
"Yes, of course you do; but that's a
dress vou had when wo were married,
and that's nigh on two years ago. I
haven't seen anything of that silk I gave
you last fall."
"Are you sure," she said, with a smile
which he could not understand.
"Yes, I am. 'Taint even made up yet,
is it?"
"Yes, it is. And you've seen it
worn."
John was puzzled and felt sure he had
not, but busan would give nun no lur
thcr satisfaction on the subject of tho
silk uress
As spring approached, she made a few
suggestions as to tho advisability of tire
wood being set to season in due time.
But John, prompt and diligent in prcpa
ration for seed time and harvest, full of
the best intentions regarding his wife's
comfort, still thought the wood was one
of the things which could be looked to
any time, and Susan soon gave over re
minding him of it.
One day iu September he came home
to dinner and found a cold lunch wait
ing him. The house was clean and
quiet and cheerless; no wife there,
but a written line which ran
''Dear Johx: I am going to spmid the day
over at Mnt. Carter'. wiU be home in time
to give you a lata supper."
He was glad to have her go, for she
had had a busy summer and needed a
little change. But there was a day out
the next week and the next and the
next, until he began to wonder at Susan's
growing taste for gadding about. In
early October ho came home to find his
wood yard, which had still remained
empty, occupied by half a dozen or so
cords of that-class wood, with Sol Car-,
tcr and his two big boys bus) at it, and
they worked until it was stored up as
before in the shed. And John felt cross,
but asked no questions.
"Wheie's Mrs. Barker?" said a small
Carter boy to John, as he put up his
burs one evening.
. "She's over to neighbor Grant's. You
will find her there if you want her."
"It ain't no matter. You can tell her
here's the sew in' she's to do for mother,
and mother wants to know if she can
come aid wash to our house to-morrow."
"Tho old scratch she does?" ex
claimed John, turning on the boy in
blank amazement, which rapidly grew
into anger. ".Mrs. Uurker tare out to do
washin' and scwin'? What d'ye mean
by comin' to me with such a message,
you young rascai?"
The astonished youngster dropped his
sewing and applied his knuckles to his
eyes as John advanced toward him, then
ran with all his might as the bundle
cams whizzing after him. And Susan's
lord and master strode in wrath down
the road to meet her.
"Susan I don't understand this
there's Deep a young chap talkin' about
sewin' aud washin' for Mrs. Carter.
What in all creation does it mean, I'd
like to know."
"It s all right," said Susan, composed
ly. "What was the message!"
"You don't mean to say you sew and
wash for other folks, do you?"
"Yes; I do."
"And lor what. Is there anything
you want, Susan, that I don't give
your'
"Yes, John, there is. I wane wood.
I can't saw and chop, but I can wash aud
sew and do anything else a woman ought
to do, and there's no blame to me for
changing work I can do for work I
can't. I'm never," Susan spoke very
firmly, but without a grain of irrita
tion, "going to put up with poor,
badly cut, green wood again as long as
I can turu my woman's work into man's
work. i I'd rather wash for somebody
every week ; it's half the comfort of a
for your dinner, with the wood sizzling
in the stove and the fire not burning,
since I've been providing the wood."
John was dumbfounded.
"And vou've been workinir for Sol.
Carter's wife these two years!" he said,
in iiftensc disgust.
No; my silk dress paid for last years
wood. I hated to let it go, John, be
cause you gave it to me, but Tilda Carter
took a" fancy to it. It was she you saw
wearin g it," and Susan laughed at his
grunt of dissatisfaction with tho whole
business.
"You to go letting me down this way
before the Carters !" he growled. And
if Mrs. (John's eyes flashed a little who
can blame her, as she answered :
" If there's any letting down to it it is
your doing, not mine!"
They finished their walk home in si
lence, and then John said :
"Susan, will you leave the wood busi
ness to mo after this?"
" I'll try you, John," she said.
A Newspaper Editorial iu Turkey.
A letter from Constantinople contains
the following: It will be interesting, I
think, to the peoplo of such a free coun
try as America to read the extract
translation of the language tho news
papers have to use in Turkey, no matter
what nationality they may be. An Ar
menian college in Turkey was totally
ruined by fire through some Mohamme
dan Incendiaries, and, though the case
was quite clear to the courts, yet be
cause of their being Mohammedans the
Armenians will find soino difficulty in
securing their conviction. The follow
ing is an exact translation of an editorial
of the leading Armenian newspaper,
called Aretelk, published in Constanti
nople, iviDg an account of this fire, and
inviting the aMention of the authorities
to punish the parties who caused the
fire:
" We again publish a minute descrip
tion we have received of the burning of
the Armenian college, in the city of Div
rig, begging at the same time the pity
and sympathy of his august majesty of
our Ottoman fatherly sovereign over this
sad ruin of tho college, which was. built
with so much expense and hard labor,
and was reduced to ashes in a moment.
The good and virtuous will of our august
sovereign Sultan Hamid, whioh is as
clear as the sun, and whose sovereignty's
motto has always been to give particular
care and attention to the great work of
education and discipline, according to
the requirements of the century, un
doubtedly assures us that thin ruined
condition of the college will invite the
august sultan to be well pleased to wash
nway, with his fatherly, most pitiful and
merciful grace-bestowing drops of favor,
the tears of his many hundreds of obedi
ent and grateful children who are in so
great need of education.''
Editors of American papers would not
enjoy being forced to write in that
strain. Letter.
"With Sails Adorned."
Ainoug the many revivals of ancient
needlework there is one which up to this
timo has I think been overlooked, viz
tho embroidering of sails. Those used
by the Egyptians were often worked with
vurious emblems. This is alluded to iu
Ezekiel, xxvii.,7 "Fine linen with em
broidered work from Egypt was that
which thou uprcadest forth to be thy
sail." Of course such sails were only
used for pleasure boats, and, as a rule,
only by nobles arvJ royal persons. Then
again in ancient days, we hear of them
being painted and interwoven with
checks and stripes, and the boats used
in sacred festivals on the Nile were deco
rated with appropriate symbols and de-.
signs, some of the sails having colored
hems and some colored embroidery.
Shakespeare describes the barge in which
Cleopatra sat as " like a burnish'd
throne. Burti'd on the water; the poop
was beaten gold. Purple the sails and
so perfumed that the winds were love
sick with them." The idea is worth a
thought. The many owners of yachts
might prize their sails the moro for the
ornamentations which fair fingers could
bestow. Ingrain wool or coarse cotton,
applied in bold outline designs, would
be best suited in crewel stitch. Tho
name of the yacht, or the monogram or
crest of tho owner in one corner would
be appropriate. At anchor tho work
might easily be pursued, and tho sails,
made as they are of strips sewn together,
might bo worked in pieces before making
up. River yachts and other pleasure
boats would certainly gain by such orna
mentation, which, with strong needles
and a good eye for effect, could bo car
ried out without much difficulty. Aew
York UeraU.
The Festival of Snakes.
A Naples letter to the London Xew
says: A celebrated Abruzzeso painter is
about to put on cauvass the characteris
tic representation of a curious festival
held at a little mountain church once a
year. Tho peasants walk in procession,
carrying rouud their arms, waists, and
necks, etc., all the snakes that they can
find. Signor Michetti, the artist, has a
quaint little villa on the shores of tho
Adriatic. Ho was lately visited by a
friend, to whom he showed all the curi
osities of his villa, and then, opening a
small door into a dark chamber, into
which he entered for a moment, he called
out: "I have something still better to
bhow you. Tako these." The friend
held out his arms, and, to his horror,
five or six blacksnakes were put into
them. With a cry of disgust he threw
them on the ground. " How stupid you
are," said Michetti. "You will inuke
me lose all my models!" He theuex
plained to his friend that he was making
studies from life for his great picture.
The curious festival which is to.be the
subject of the painting is believed by
them lioin poi
THEY WILL RAISE A SMILE.
COMICAL STORIES THAT ABB GOXBO
THE BOUNDS.
A Quick PoUou-A ri(liifitl Kpe.
rirnce lie lli-ang-hl lllm In Alive
Proponed Oier the Cream, etc-.
Jones "Talking abeut tobacco, I
know a man who did not live three years
after he began using it."
Smith "Grent St. Nicotine! You
don't say so?"
Jones "It is the solemn truth; 1
knew him well."
Smith (throwing away his cigar)
"Mercy! How old was he when he com
menced the use of the poisonous weed?"
Jones "Ninety-one. " Philadelphia
Call.
A I'rlg-ultul Experience.
A veteran of the war, who was not par
ticularly remarkable for his bravery in
the ranks, but who, nevertheless, is iu
receipt of a comfortable pension, was re
lating his experience as a soldier.
"Were you ever taken prisoner?" he
was asked.
"I guess I was," he replied, emphati
cally, "I was a prisoner of war for eight
months and slept on the ground in the
open air all the time. Some days I
would get something to eat and some
days I wouldn't. I nearly starved to
death."
"It must have been a terrible experi
ence," remarked one of his listeners.
"It was, indeed, a frightful experi
encce, but I tell you, gentlemen," and
here he lowered his voice and spoke very
earnestly, "it wasn't near as bad as fighting."
and transferred a quid from his left to his
right cheek.
"I wtis through there some weeks
ago," resumed the justice, "and we had
some experiments. One of the party
lired on a gun near the xseeaies, ana
when we got to Cottonwood, more than
eighty-four miles away, we found the
town" marshal still on" the lookout for
the fellow who had been shooting in the
city limits."
"It's got a fine echo, too." sasd Ken
nedy, "I was down at Fort Majova
along in February, and just before I left
I got into a little row with a fellow and
said he was no part of a gentleman. I
said it rather loudly and noticed that the
remark hung around the neighborhood
pretty well; but when we stopped for
dinner, twenty miles away.I'll own up I
was surprised to find the rocks still call
ing out 'part of a gcutleinan' in tho
same tone of voice that I had irscd, ex
cept possibly it sounded a little more
husky."
"It's a queer country," said the gen
ial justice, "and, as you say, it's echo is
wonderful. I was down there along in
the fall and when I went back last month
half of the conversat'we indulged in
was still floating around promiscuously.
I had made a verbal contract for a rain
ing claim that the other party had tried
to go back ou, but I clinched him by
getting a stenographer to take down
the echo word for word which had been
said six months before, and then I got
affidavits from those who knew him
that the voice wns Jim's, and had him
where he couldn't squeal. Wonderful
thing that canyon 1" Leadcille Democrat.
THE FAULT OF THE AOR
The fault of the age is a mad endeavor
To leap the heights that ware mate to
climb;
By a burst of strength or a thought that If
clever,
We plnu to outwit and forestall Time.
We scorn to wait for the thing worth hav
ing ;
We want high noon at the day's dim
dawn ;
We find no pleasure in toiling and saving ,
As our forefathers did in the good tune
gone. .
We force our roses before their season
To bloom and blossom tliat we may wear;
Aud then we wonder and ask the reason
Why perfect buds are so few and rare. .
We crave the gain, but despise the getting;
We want wealth, not as a reward, but
dower;
And the strength that is wasted in useless
fretting.
Would fell a forest or build a tower.
To covet the prize, yet to shrink from the
winning;
To thirst for glory, yet fear the fight
Why, what can it lead to at last but riming,
To mental languor and moral blight f
Better the old slow way of striving
And counting small gains when the year is
done,
Than to use our forces all in contriving
And to grasp for pleasure we have not
won.
Ella Wheeler.
lie Brought Iliui in Alive.
A party of soldiers "out West" not
I having much to do, resolved to go bear
I hunting. They had been out sixteen
hours, and had not seen a bear, and, be
. ing tired and huugry, they returned to
I camp. On their arrival at" headquarters
they missed one of their companions, but
thought nothing of it, one of them re
marking: "He will return all right."
I They made their camp fire, and com
I menced preparations for supper. Sud
denly they were all startled by a terrible
noise that seemed to come nearer to
camp. The thickets pawed, and in rushed
the missing man, his hair standing on
end, his face deadly white, his gun gone
and his arms flying in the air, as if grasp
i ing for imaginary objects, and about two
I feet behind him came a great black bear,
i The pursued soldier turned when he saw
the bear drop, and, looking at one of
them said, breathlessly: "Is he dead?"
One of the men Asked: "Why didn't
you shoot him, instead of running?"
"What do you take me for," replied
the missiug one. "Do you think I was
so foolish as to shoot him, when I could
bring hiin in alive?''
She Proposed Over the Creaui.
Ice cream worked its delicate result
the other night. He had taken her to
the opera and filled her full of Italian
music. He had done the sweet and
pretty, and had not even kept his usual
appointments with men outside in the
pauses of the piece, and, last of all, he
took her to the ice-creamery. One would
have imagined that something more
earnest in character than ice cream would
have been required after a dose of tragic
opera, but no, the simple frost waB good
enough for her. Over the dainty dishes
they grew fond. They had just admired
u handsome turnout at the theatre door.
"When I get married 1 mean to have
just such a turnout for my wife."
She gave a gentlo sigh, and us the last
faint sweetnoss of a big spoonful of
cream thrilled her young and sympa
thetic palate she threw into her eyes a
beaming glauce and whispered: "Give
me the first ride in it?"
No cards. jSu Fruncltt'o Chronicle.
the peasants to preserve
sou and sudden death uud to briug them
woman's life. You've never had to wuit I good fortune, especially in love.
' -
She Shook Them.
"I saw something new up in Wiscon
sin the other clay. A patent medicine
man was selling something or other from
a carriage in which he had a rather pretty
young woman aud a gasoline lamp. The
lady sang one or two songs very sweetly,
and then the man talked and sold his
nostrum at a dolUr a bottle.
"When he had disposed of thirty or
forty bottles he said : 'Now, gentlemen,
before bidding you good-night, I will
give you an exhibition of the wonderful
magnetic powers of my wife, who sits
here by my side. I hold iu my hand a
common piece of thread. Now one of
you take hold of the end of it and walk
off and then let all the others take hold
of it, and nt the sigual which I will give
she will take hold of the other end, and
you will feel the shock instantly.
"About 150 men aud boys grasped tho
threud. and walked oil about half a block
with it. 'Now keep perfectly quiet, and
you will feel the shock, delicate at first,
and then strong enough to tingte at the
ends of vour lingers and toes. Arc you
ull ready?"
"Thcv all said 'Yes.'
" 'Well, theu, I will put out the light,'
said he, 'and my wife will take the
thread in her hund at that instant.'
"The light went out and the mau's
voice was heu,rd : 'What have you in your
hand, my deaVr'
" 'The longtst string of suckers I ever
saw in all my lite,' cume iu a sweet, mu
sical voice, aud at the same moment the
horses and carriage wero driven olf at
great speed. leaving the crowd hauging on
to the string completely dumbfounded.
"It was the worst shock a good many
of those fellows ever got."
A Wonderful ('au).u,
"Did you ever notice what a great
whispering gallery the Grand Canyon of
the Colorado isi" asked Judge Harrison
this morning
How to Mesmerize.
J. N. Langley says in the Fopuh.tr
Science Monthly: I will show you the
method of mesmerizing, which is, per
haps, on the whole, most effective; it is
very nearly that described by Baird. I
have not time to attempt a mesmeric
experiment to-night; it is tho method
only which I wish to show you. With
one hand a bright object, such as this
faceted piece .of glass, is held thus,
eight to twelve inches from tho subject,
so that there is a considerable converg
ence of the eyes, and rather above the
level of the eyes, so that ho is obliged
to look upward. The subject is told to
look steadily at the piece of glass, and
to keep his whole' attention fixed upon it.
This position is kept up for five or ten
minutes; during this time the pupils
will probably dilate considerably, often
assuming a slight rhythmic contraction
aud dilation; when this is the case, the
free hand is moved slowly from the ob
ject toward the eyes. If the subject is
sensitive, the eyes will usually close
with a vibratory motion. In some cases
the subject is then unable to open them,
aud the usual mesmeric phenomena can
be obtained. If, when the operator
brings his hand near the eyes of the sub
ject, the subject instead of closing them
follows the movements of the fingers, the
whole proceeding is repeated, but the
subject is told to close his eyes when the
fingers are brought near them, but to
keep them fixed in the same direction as
before, and to continue to think of the
object and that only. The operator then
for some minutes makes "passes," bring
ing his warm hands over and close to the
face of the subject in one direction.
When the subject is inclined to pass into
the cataleptic state, an indication of his
condition may be obtained by gently
raising his arm; if he is beginning to be
mesmerized, the arm remains in the
position iu which it is placed. If the
arm falls, the mesmeric state may not in
frequently be hastened on by telling the
subject to keep his arm extended while
he is still gazing at the object, or while
the passes are being made. And that is
the whole of the process. The man thus
mesmerized sinks from manhood to a
highly complicated piece of machinery.
He is a machine which for a time is con
scious, aud in which ideas can be excited
by appropriate stimulation; auy one ac
quainted with the machinery can set it
in actiou.
A Remarkable Structure.
The new cathedral of St. Savior at
Moscow is a remarkable structure. It
was built to commemorate the departure
of the French army from Moscow. On
the 27th of July, 1838, the foundation
stone was laid, aud for twenty years the
building slowly proceeded. In 158 the
scaffolding, which cost $200,000, was
removed. Yet a quarter of a century
more was required to complete tho fit
lings, and decoration. The style is an
cient Russian. The five copper cupolas,
for the gilding of which was required
J00 pounds of gold, cost $850,000. Tho
domes are surmounted by crosses, the
centre one being thirty leet high, and
810 feet from the ground. The largest
bell weighs twenty-six tons. The whole
editico is faced with marble, tho doors
are of bronze, ornamented with biblical
subjects and lined with oak. The prin
cijal entrance is thirty feci high and
eighteen feet broad. Two of the
doors weigh thirteen tous, and the total
cost of all the doors was $310,000. The
building is erected in the form of a Greek
cross. Tho walls are adorned with fres
coes illustrating the chief events iu the
history of the Russian church. Tho total
cost of the marble in the building ex
ceeded $150,0(10. The galleries contain
thirty-six windows, and the cujAilus six
teen, all double, with frames of bronze.
Hound the cupola is one row of 040
candelabra, which cost $130,000, aud a
second row of 000, costing $CO,000.
There are four lusters weighing four tons
each. The total number of candles to be
lighted throughout the building is up
ward of S. 000. The cost of materials aud
workmanship, uid" from the altar space,
was $180,000. Throughout the buildiug
are many of the most remarkable paint
ings produced by Itussiau artists. . Thii
whole cost of the structure is jilaced ut
about $11,250,000. and it is said to bo
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
left
the
Wonderful," said Judue Kennedv.as
he placed his feet geuriy upon the table, j capable of containing 10,000 woishipers,
Joint education Gymnastics.
Fatti's terms Ten hours' sleep, twelve
hours' play, two hours' work and $5,000
a day.
A razor is a barberous implement to
use even upon a rough customer. Chi
cago Sun.
Many of the blind beggars . on the
street appear to have no eye for business.
Scissors.
It has come to be that a man is called
magnetic when he is simply shocking.
JJosion Transcript.
We presume the poke bonnets are so
called because the girls poke their faces
nut of them. Pittsburg Chronicle.
It takes twenty-six years for a man to
become a physician in Germnny. Out
there they give the population some show.
lsj-wii Post.
"Time's money," growled the disap
pointed creditor. " Well," replied the
persecuted debtor, "haven't I alwaya
said I'd pay you in time?"
The roof of the Now Orleans exhibi
tion covers thirty-three acres. The roof
of the human mouth covers about as
many uchers. Loicell Courier.
There is a secret society of colored men
in Milwaukee called "The Watermelon
Club." Their grip, however, is pretty
generally known. Burlington ttc
Press.
"The funds all gone?" sbduted the de
positors. "Every cent," replied the
president. "Are you sure that he
nothing?" "He left nothing but
country." Portland Advertiser.
'Tis now. the hunter take his gun
The fields he rambles over,
From early dawn to set of mm,
In search of snie and plover.
A gloomy, disappointed wight,
A bandaged huud caressing,
fletnrm he sadly home at night,
With several tinkers missing.
Somerville Journal.
" What is a rector?" asked Rollo.
" Pastor of au Episcopalian meeting
house," replied Rollo's father. "And
what is a pastor?" " Rector of a Protea
tant church." "And what, then, is a
priest?" "He is a Catholic parson."
And Hollo repeated the definitions care
fully so as to fix the new theology firmly
in his mind. Burdctte.
"What's all thw I hear about the
Mother Hubbards? What are they, any
way?" "Oh, they're dressw that are
not pleasing to the fastidious Westerners.
They seem to be afraid of them."
" Women must wear them in the East,
too, don't they?" "Oh, yes; they're
worn all over." "Have you ever seen
auything in them to be ufruid of?" "Yes,
my wife!" Bochester Post-Express.
A Lowell youth who was making a
rather extended call the other night,
was asked by the young lady if he hadn't
been reading about the Greely expedition
lately, and if constant reflection on the
subject hadn't led him to imagine ho was
now in tho Arctic regions. " What
makes you ask that?" said the surprised
youth. "Becauso you seem to bo under
tho impression that the nights are six
months long." iAHcell Times.
A Snake-Bitten Farmer's Nerre.
While Jacob Feyler, a farmer living
on tho Washington pike, about a mile
below Temperanceville, was out in his
field cutting corn, he was bitten ou the
second finger of his left hand by a rat
tle snake. Tho finger began to swell
rapidly, and in order to save his life Mr.
Feyler laid the finger on a rail and grasp
ing his corn knif'i brought it down with
all his force, severing the member near
the knuckle. Tho action was so prompt
that the poison had not tiuie to perme
ate his system. Mr. Feyler without as
tistauce tiud up tho wound aud walked
to his home near by and sent for a phy
sician. The injured mau became very
weak after theoperatiou, but it is thought
he will soon be able to be about. Pitts
burg Penn.) DUjuttch.
The commissioner of peusious, when
called ou Jwo years auo for the number
of survivors of the Mexicau war, estima
ted thirty-six thousaud soldiers and thir
ty two thousand widows.
There is more money iu the sub-treas-n
y at San Francisco thau there is in the
I'nited States treasury at Washingtou.