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VOL. XVII- NO, 21.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT 10. 1884.
$1,50 PER ANNUM.
i
HEORET,
1 '! known oil, loyal heart,
"I'll, hnnd to hand, we mid farewell
'' for all ilnie our pn;hs would part,
liat shadow o'er our friendKliip fell,
ould have cIokihmI your hand bo close
n tf$ warm pressure of my own,
".memory still would keep its grasp
If I had known.
' I hnd known, when far and wide,
We loitoml through tho summer land,
-V hat Presence wandered by our Hide,
And o'or you stretched its awfid hand,
should lmva hushed my careless speech,
To liKbnn, dear, to every Uino
That from your lips fell low and sweet
If I hod known.
If I had known when your kind eye
'Met mino In parting, time and sad
" gravely tender, gontly wise,
' "araost, rulhor, more than glad
i the lids would lie above,
1 mid white as sculptured stone,
1 have treasured every glance
If I had known.
: I had known fcow, from the strife
Of foars, hopes, passions, here below,
5 '"to a purer, higher life
That you wcro rolled, oh, friend, to go,
f should have stay, d my foolish tears
And hushed oath idle sigh and moan
Wd you lost, a long Ood speed
. If I had known.
T had known to what strango place,
ii.it mystic, distant, silent shore,
daily turned your steadfast face,
! time your fcotsNi.s let t my door,
1 have forged a golden link
ml the hearts so constant grown,
jit it constant over thoro
If I had known.
i id known that, until Death
mil with his finger touch my brow,
i still tlio quickening of the breath
' Unt stirs with life's full meaning now,
!-ng my feet must tread the way
f our accustomed paths alone,
ould havo prized your presence more
It I had known.
id known how soon for you
w near the ending of the fight,
i'n your vision, fair and now,
rnal peace dawned into sight,
aid havo bogged, as love's last gift,
"it you, before God's gnat whito throne,
u)d pray for your poor friend on earth
If I had known.
Christian, Iteid. in the Sheltering Arms.
THE CL0VVFS STORY.
BY PLOHKNCE UKVEKK PKXDAR.
it was at ono of New England's pretty
vns that Nina Walters first joined our
nv, with her fellow performer, Louis
ison, and Joo Fuller, apprenticed like
nsclf to old Pa Dryer, who was won;
boast that the children ho took to
in wero as well cared for in every re
ct ns his own. which statement I have
cr hud any reason to doubt; and I may
. I have more than once witnessed tho
ict impartiality with which lie ndmin
tated corporal punishment to his pro
ny and apprentices if they failed to
me up to the mark in their respective
aties. Many a time hare I seen him in
io ring, his full, red face beaming with
aiui smiles as he put a child through
pad -act with:
Now, Maudie, dear, one, two, three,
p. Ohl-can't? Want a little help?"
k went the whip's lash around the
a girl's slender ankles, and with:
dilpleaso don, I will," over the
, r the frightened child jumped.
r! bless you," would this veteran
trainer observe, "You'vo got to
vu some ou 'em into it. It's all for
ood. .Just look at the youngsters
lined out, a earning their hundred
iy and two hundred a week now,"
which speech Pa Dryer would beam
'iacently upon his listeners. But I
digressing,
-ina Walters and her fellow perform-
were trapeze artists, wonderfully
lever in their lino, and consequently
u'gh in favor with Pa Dryer. Thev were
lowu in the bills as "The Fays." Pa
Dryer had picked Nina up out of the
treets 1 believe, when sho was about
even years of age, but the two boys had
een legally apprenticed to him by their
icspectivo parents.
Before inanv weeks Nina's dnskv ve
and pretty ways had captivated us all
and wo were her willing slaves, from Ned
our colored teutman up. It was evident
from tho first, however, that Louis and
Toe wcro deeply in love with Nina, but
far as I could see, she showed prcfer
e to neither; treating each as frankly
t sister might a brother, which was
i ural enough, as they had grown up
;ether during some ten years, having
come apprentices of Pa Dryer's near
;e same time. Louis, who was ot an
pen, frank disposition, with a friendly
vord for every one, had just turned
twenty when they joined us, thus mak
ing him three mouths the senior of Joe;
Lis very opposite, being quick to take
otlence and of a singularly jealous na
ture. The ouly thing they possessed in
common was their good looks, both
being undeniably handsome.
One evening after they had been with
us some six months, as 1 stood waiting
" hind the curtain that shutout the ring
ttnuicc by the way, I have not yet in
"luced myself. Not that it is at all
essary, only perhaps some of my read
might like to know what manner of
on is relating these facts. 1 am of
--r a retiring disposition, although
ocatiou of clown rather belies this
of mine. Outside of the ring I am
Hily known as "Still Done," euin
it title, I believe, by my fondness
quiet life, the moment I have shaken
.a- dust from oil my heels. How I
came to write of this terrible
v that crossed my path, I am not
tiear. remaps the desire to
ee my name in print, i a different form
from Its habitual one influenced me; or,
perhaps, the hope that it might help some
poor souls mad with jealousy, to conquer
mat mghtiul malady, maybe save them
from committing a crime, had a little to
ao with it.
Well, as I was saying, this evening as
i sioou waning, i saw JNina coming slow
iy as li in tnougnt toward me. It was
something so unusual to see her pretty
lace without a smile, that I exclaimed:
"Why, Nina, child I What ails tou?
Has Pa Dryer been actio? uelv);' What
ever old Dryer had done in Nina's young
er days, I had never known him since he
had been with us to treat her otherwise
than kind: in fact ho rather netted her
like the rest of us. I was considerably
relieved when sho answered:
"Oh I no I but don't vou laucb. at me.
I rcallv believe I'm nervous" hero she
laughed herself, but it lacked the true
"Nervous 1 What about?" I asked.
You see sho sort of looked unon mo as an
old fogy and didn't mind expressing her
self freely ns it wero.
"Oh I I don t know," sho answered,
only I fel as if something was poinor to
happen, don't you know? It is silly of
mo. Why I when I was a little mite and
Pa Dryer made mo hang from mv chin
from tho trapeso, I never felt so "
J ust then my act bei ng on I had to hur
ry away, when next I saw Nina she was
flying gracefully through tho air from
trapeze to trapeze. After my act I had
hastily resumed my every day clothes and
roturned to the ring entrance, which was
not my custom, for I generally left the
building as soon as I was through. This
night something stronger than myself
uauemewatcu "i no l ays." I have seen
a good deal of trapeze business in mv dav.
but never anything so graceful and neat
as "The Fays" performance. Nina's
little form seemed to glide through the
air without any apparent effort. Tho
applause as usual was loud and frequent,
I heir finish as a rule was done in this
wise: Nina taking a flvinir leaD from a
smaii piatiorm nea the roof, would bo
caught by Louis, who hung suspended
head downward from one of tho trapeze.
This night tho order of thing appeared
to bo reversed, for it was Louis who
mounted to the platform to take th
leap, instead of going through a scries
of evolutions on the "middle trapeze,
whilst Nina prepared herself for her
daring drop. I had hardly time to
wonder at the change before I saw Joe,
who had been executing a Cathorino
wheel on a trapeze still higher up, give
a violent start. Ho too. I think, was
surprised.
Shall I ever forget tho crv that rano-
through the building that night, causing
women to faint and strong men to turn
whito like unto death. I can hear it
now, and tho words:
"Ninat for God's sake keep clear of
the middle trapeze; the ropes are cut!"
Too late came Joe's warning. Nina's
little hands were already clinging to the
doomed bar, and Louis had taken his
leap for life..
A whir as of soiucthinor whizzincr
through the air as I closed my eyes to
shut the horror of ft out, when a mur
mur like the hoarse roar of the distant
sen fell upon my ears, swelling until
it burst into a wild huzza. I
looked and saw Joe hanging head
downward from a trapeze, while
with both hands he upheld Louis. Nina
ciaspeu sale ly the latter's right arm, the
trapeze to which she had clung but a
moment before lying in the ring some
forty feet below. Joe's daring intrepid
ity had saved his companions' lives. He
had dropped from his perch above to a
lower trapeze and swung himself to the
rescue of Louis, thereby enabling the
latter to snatch Nina from a horrible
death.
Cheer upon cheer greeted the two as
they wero lowered safely to the ground,
while ono old fellow, in his oxcitcment,
exclaimed, as ho caught Joe by the
hand :
"A brave act ye've done this night,
lad. It ought to wipe out a heap of sins
fur ye."
That night Joe disappeared, and "The
Fays," as far as the public was con
cerned, were known no more.
For many weeks Nina lay hovering be
tween life and death, but at last youth
conquered. She is now tho happy wife
of Louis, for that terrible moment in
which her fellow performer and herself
had hung as it were between heaven and
earth had revealed to her who had won
her heart. Louis and his wife have long
since left the profession and are prosper
ing well in their new line of life. Two
children have been vouchsafed them.
Joe and Nina they aro named.
And what about the other Joe, you
think, perhaps. Well, it was eight years
before I again met Joe. Of course I
fpoke about Louis and Nina, telling him
how happy they were and how they had
named their tirst-born for him.
"She did that, Ninu," ho murmured,
adding, "and she must have guessed
all: 1 saw it in her reproachful eyes that
night. I was mad with jealousy, I
knew that she loved Louis, but I thought
if he were out of her way she would for
get bun and then I could win her, and so,
madman as I was, I cut the ropes at
tached to the middle trapeze, the one on
which Louis always did his finish." An
eclamation of horrified surprise escaped
me as he continued with
"You know how my fiendish attempt
was frustrated. How the girl I loved
took the place of the man F would have
murdered. I learned afterward that feel
ing nervous she had persuaded Louis to
take the le iisyid of herself. Only
for that I should have been branded as a
murderer."
" But you nobly redeemed yourself in
saving both their lives," I here spoke.
"My God! can I ever Bhut out the
horror of it all?" he cried bitterly. Rising,
I said :
" Yes, I think you can," then as he
bent his haggard eyes questioningly upon
mo, I added: "Wait hero a few mo
ments." A little dark-eyed fellow stood shyly
eyeing the man I had left but a few mo
ments before, then laying his hand upon
tho man's arm he asked :
"Are you my big, brave Uncle Joe?
'Causa if you are, mamma sent me to fetch
you."
"Child! what is your name?" ex
claimed the man eagerly.
"Joo Mason," answered the little one,
adding: "but mamma calls mo ' Littlo
Joe,"' then glancing up he continued
naively: "Uncle Joe, mamma said you'd
be glad to see mo, are you?"
"Gladl" and as Joe Fuller uttered
that one word like unto a sob, he clasped
the little fellow in his arms, while I,
closing the door, crept softly away, con
vinced tho child had won tho day.
Poisonous Plants and Flowers.
There are many plants whose leaves.
flowers and seeds contain virulent pois
ons, which every one should know, so as
to avoid them and keep children from
in em.
Buttercups possess a poisonous nron-
crty, which disappears when the flowers
are dried in hay ; no cow will feed upon
them while thev are in blossom. So
caustic are the petals that they wiil some
times inflame the skin of tender finders.
Every child should be cautioned asrainst
eating them; indeed, it is desirable to
caution children about tasting the petals
of any flowers, or putting leaves into
their mouths, except those known to bo
harmless.
Tho oleander contains a deadly poison
in its leaves and flowers, and is said to
bo a dangerous plant for the parlor or
dining-room. The flower and berries of
the wild bryony possess a powerful pur
gative, and the red berries, which attract
children, havo proved fatal. The seeds
of the laburnum and catalpa tree should
bo kept from children, as there is a pois
onous property in their bark. Tho seeds
of the yellow and of the rough podded
vetches will produce nausea and severs
headache.
Fool's parsley has tuberous roots, which
have been mistaken for turnips, and pro
duced a fatal effect an hour after they
were eaten.
Meadow hemlock is said to be tfie
hemlock which Socrates drank ; it kills
by its intense action on the nerves, pro
ducing complete insensibility and palsy
of the arms and legs, and is a most
dangerous drug, except in skilled hands.
In August it is found in every field by
the seashore, and near mountain tops,
in full bloom, and ladies and ehildren
gather its large clusters of tiny white
flowers in quantities, without the least
idea of their poisonous qualities. Tho
water hemlock, or cow-bane, resembles
parsnips, and has been eaten for thera
with deadly effect.
Tho water dropwort resembles celery
when not in flower, and its roots are
similar to those of the parsnip, but they
contain a virulent poison, producing con
vulsions, which end in death in a short
time. The hne-leaved water dropwort
and the common dropwort are also
dangerous weeds.
The bulbs of the daffodils were onoe
mistaken for leeks and boiled in soup
with very disastrous effects, making tho
whole household intensely nauseated, and
the children did not recover from their
effects for several days. Drugmun.
Jay Gould's Country Home.
Gould's establishment at Irvington hao
very peculiar associations. The original
building is by no means new, but its
grandeur is such that it holds distinction
even in these days of progress. Many
years ago William Paulding was a law
yer in this city and made a large for
tune, attaining also the dignity of mayor.
Much of his wealth was in real estate on
the Hudson, and his two sons, Frederick
and Philip, becarno, on his death, promi
nent as rich young men. But they died
early, and their wealth has been scat
tered. The former was the grandfather
of the play-actor, Frederick Paulding,
who is now the sole representative of the
family. He has retired from the stage
on account of ill health, and now lives in
this city. Philip Pauldin.? had an am
bition to build the finest dwelling in
America. He selected a river front of
extended view, and in due time a mar
ble palace attracted the admiration of
tourists. Its chief feature was an oriel
window of rare beauty, which is still
justly admired. Paulding, however,
soon sickened of his grand house, which
in fact he never completely finished, and
the admiring tourists would havo been
surprised, had they visited the spot, to
find the owner a disappointed man liv
ing in seclusion in one corner of tho
building. After his death the estate
went into the hands of an executor, who
embezzled it, and the heirs are now poor.
Gould boucht the place, which he pn.
larged and improved atau immense cost,
and on his hands it became Lyndhurst,
the grandest establishment on the banks
of the Hudson. Utica Herald.
A Novel Experiment.
The advantages of the electric light
over candles or gas iu a ballroom were
pleasantly demonstrated at a large dan
cing party given the other day at the
house of Sir George Grove, at Lower
Sydenham, England. The rooms were
kept at a comfortably cool temperature,
and the illumination was iu every way
perfect. One of the young ladies, says
the Philadelphia Tthgram, had a small
lamp imbedded inside some real flowers,
the current being supplied by an accu
mulator in the pocket of her dress, and
the effect is described as exceedingly
pretty.
Colwado has to buy 2,000,000 worth
of grain every year for cattle feed.
L C0MICAI MISCELLANY.
RUMOBOTTS STORIES BT THE VEWS
PAPEB WAGS.
Hot a Turn Out He Took the Hint
Well ttunliflrd for the lliialneaa
Still Solid, i:c., l.U:
"Beep, out riding, lately?" asked Fitz
goober of Plunkett.
"Oh, yes," answered Plunkett,
"haven't you heard of my late turn
out?" "No I have not."
"I tell you it was an elegant affair;
executed by order and done up in
style," F
"What was it? Didn't know
were able to have fine turnouts."
you
"You see," replied Plunkett, gravely,
"I called on my girl last night and
stayed rather late; and her pa gave the
oldest son orders to turn mo out of
doors, which he did in splendid
style."
He Took the Hint.
"My darling, you never have kissed
mo yet," ho said.
"Haven't I?" she answered, with a
gurgling laugh.
"Never," he repeated; "and I wish you
would now. Will you?"
She did.
"Ahl" he sighed; "how sweet it is to
feel tho pressure of your warm lips on
my cheek."
"Do you know why my lips aro so
warm?" she said.
"Because because," fie stammered
"Because," she broke in, "no ice
cream has passed them for ever so long. "
He took the hint. b'omerville Journal.
Well Qualified for the Iliixlnrav.
"So you would like to become a black
smith, would you?" he said to a little
barefoot boy, as ho stopped blowing the
bellows for a moment.
" Yes, sir," tho boy replied, "I would
like to learn tho trade."
, "Are you strong and healthy?"
'; "Yes, sir."
"And quick? I wouldn't have a boy
around who wasn't quick."
Here the boy stepped his bare foot
on a hot horseshoe, and the blacksmith
remarked :
" Well, I guess I'll give you a trial.
You seem to be one of the quickest little
boys. I ever saw." New York Sun.
Still Solid.
A man rushed into a Wall street
broker's office the other day and rubbed
his face hard.
"How is Northern Pacific?" ho in
quired. "Down," replied the broker.
"Then I can't go by rail," he gasped.
"How's Western Union?"
"Down," answered tho broker.
' 'Then I can't send a dispatch. How's
government bonds?"
"Steady."
"Then I'll send a letter, by gosh t
How much margin do you want for a
two-cent stamp?"-
But the broker knocked his brains out
with a pile of Grant & Ward government
contracts. Drake" 2'ravelers' Magazine.
A Parly That Will Support Him.
"Which candidate will you support?"
asked Farmer Fflnow of a bachelor
boarder.
"That's a nice question to ask a man
who is a candidate himself," replied the
single man, with u mysterious air.
"What!" exclaimed the granger; "aro
you a candidate?"
"Yes, sir; I'm a candidate, and expect
to be supported in a magnificent man
ner." "Which party?"
Oh, a party that is rich, intelligent
and powerful."
"Explain yourself, please."
'Why, you obtuse old fellow. I'm
going to marry a wealthy widow!" Xete
York Journal.
Two View.
Colonel Clepmore, editor of tho Daily
Blue Wing, went fishing one Sunday and
broke his leg. Tlu Kev. Mr. Gidfelt
heard of the accident, and. in his Sun
day sermon, said :
" Here we havo a striking example of
the retribution following the violation of
the Sabbath. If Colonel Clepir.re had
been at church,, he w.ould not havo
broken his leg."
The following Sunday, as the Rev.
Mr. Gidfelt was ascending tho steps of
the pulpit, he stepped on a piece of
orange peel, dropped by a child of tho
Suuday-school, slipped, fell and broke
his leg. The next issue of the JJlue
Wing contained the following:
"Here we havo a striking example of
the retribution following self-appointed
censorship. If the Rev. Mr. Gidfelt had
been fishing, he would not have broken
his leg." Arkaiuaw Traveler.
Foiled.
I see by the papers that ten thousand
people in this country have been poisjued
by eating icecream," observed George to
Angelina the other evening as they started
out to walk.
'Is that so?''
"Yes, and that is not the worst of it.
The Asiatic cholera was caused by eat
ing ice cream."
"For mercy's sake !"
"Yes, indeed," continued George, more
hopefully thau before. "And the lead
ing medical journals agree that it is sure
death to eat the stuff. Ono might as
well take arsenic. It is suicide to taste
it."
"Oh! George, you make me feel so
badly," she replied, as sho steered him
across the street toward the Brunswick,
restaurant. "You can't imagine how sad
I feel."
"What can I do for you?" he inquired,
with alarm. "Do you want a doctor
Let me take you home!"
"No, no. Not home. Lets eo in here.
I want to die.'' New York Graphic.
! NEWS AND N0TS F0R "0MEN
Black silk stockings remain popular.
Red hose are worn with dresses of
almost any sol or.
Red sunshades are as rife as ever on
fashionable beaches.
Low shoes, with plain colored hose,
are worn on tho street.
Married ladies frequently wear black
lace over shot silks of light color.
West Liberty, Iowa, has a serenading
troupe consisting of fifteen young ladies.
Dresses ore much less draped than
they have been for many seasons past.
In Boston there ore 20,000 working
women whose wages average only $4 to
$5 a week.
White and colored mull pokes, with
Valenciennes lace ruches, are pretty for
girls' hats.
French modistes are using more ma
terials of red and yellow than of any
other color.
The Medical Summary recommends tho
external use of buttermilk to ladies who
are exposed to tan or freckles.
Many elegant black lace mantles have
either the sleeves alone or the bodice
only lined with red silk gauze.
Tunics with full blouse bodices of red
Adrianople are worn with, two-toned gray
or beige skirts of glace batiste.
At the fourteenth commencement o'
the Chicago Women's Medical college
recently there were twenty-one candi
dates. A fashionable young lady in New York
has had her hair tinted a beautiful chest
nut color to match her saddle-horse's
mane.
The skirts of dresses for girls of all
ages are now made longer than they
formerly were, falling always well below
the knees.
Lockets are littlo used except for full
dress, when they are worn suspended
from a small short chain or velvet ribbon
around the neck.
Short hair for women is coming into
fashion. It is very pretty and becoming
to nearly everybody, worn in loose, half
curled locks around the head.
High-heeled shoes are not worn by
girls, and all heels are dispensed with by
fashionably dressed children until they
are eight or nine years old.
Rough-and-ready straw pokes are much
worn in the countiy. The prevailing
garniture is a scarf of white mull wound
about the crown and a mass of flowers in
front. ,
Mny demi- toilet dresses, with bodies
cutL low in front, are completed by a
plastron of some lighter material, which
is tightened around the throat with a
ruche.
The fashion of bodices open in front,
either in the shape of a square, heart or
point, as very much going out. Dresses
aro now made quite high or quite low in
tho necK.
A pretty fashion for girls of ten is that
of adding hemmed strings of the mate
rial to the under-arm seams of full
dresses and tying them behind in a largo
sash bow.
The Cardinal sleeve is a Parisian nov
elty. It is quite straight, is plaited the
whole length and set full into the arm
hole, whence it hangs half way down
the forearm.
Coaching parasols this season are many
of them covered with changeable Bilks of
, two or three shades of some warm, dark
colors, as red and brown, gold and rose
or bronze and red.
With light toilets small pelerines of
beaded tulle are much worn. Their lower
edge is trimmed with a lace flounce fully
gathered and ornamented with drooping
pear-shaped jet ornaments.
Lace mantles are often made upon a
tune ioundauon. ine sleeves are cov
ered with lace flounces; the fronts are
lengthened into a scarf or into two semi
long square lappets falling on each side .
Dr. Niemeyer gives this advice to
ladies: "Thirty deep inspirations taken
every morning in a pure atmosphere, and
no lacing, will do more for tho color of
your cheeks than a tumbler of chalybeate
or a dose of iron pills."
There is no recipe for a good, clear com
plexion equal to the ono that prescribes
plenty ol fresh air, soft water, whole
some food and regular exercise. Noth
ing is worse for the complexion than the
sating of sweets and rich foods.
The accordion plaitintr. iust now so
fashionable, is made by machinery. Tho
accordion plaits open and close like the
instrument for which they are named,
without injury. Tho regulation plaiting
and kilting rarely keeps its place for any
length of time, and needs constant super
vision. Ann E. Leak, an urmless woman, was
married about ten years aero to William
Thompson, a steamship engineer. The
couple went to Australia, and made a
great deal of money in connection with
the show business. Mrs. Thompson can
crochet, knit, sew and write, using her
feet as well as most people who perform
such work with their hands.
High coiffures prevail in Paris. The
coil of hair on tho top of the head is held
in place by gold or silver-headed pins, in
place of a comb. The forehead is covered
with little round rings of hair termed
statue curls, which are decidedly stiff in
effect and unbecoming to most faces.
New York ladies have not adopted these
extreme modes, though many' dress the
hair high and have abandoned the regu
lar bang over the forehead.
The first American petroleum was ex
ported in 1803 from Pittsburgh to
Euiope at a loss of $2,000 on 000,000
gallons. In 1883 400,000 gallons were
exported, for which $60,000,000 wero
returned to this country.
THE BLUE BOTTLE FLY.
Buzzing and gay In the early dawn,
Fresh from a nap on the parlor wall,
Cfut for a flight over garden and lawn,
Fearing no tumble and dreading no fall;
Came a fly:
k lively, frolicsome, blue-bottle fly;
And his foot
Were as neat
And hii Btyle
As complete
As his brain
Was replete
With the mischief that laughed in his eye!
" What glorious fun I'll have to-day,
When the baby's asleep and the nurse away;
When Rover lies by the kitchen door;
IU waken thom both and make thorn roar I
Oh, what tar leaf"
Cried the rolicklng, restless blue-bottle fly:
"What a cry,"
Said the fly,
" There will be
After me
When I've done
WithmyfunP
And he wickedly winked his wee eyel
" Then m go and dance on grandpa's head,
While he struggles to push me away:
And tickle his ear 'till he'll wish I was dead I
And over the table at dinner IU play
Back and forth,
And feast on crumbs from a newly -bakad piel
And I'll sip
From the lip
Of each glass
That may pass
All sweet things
Dinner brings
Quoth this riotous blue-bottle fly.
But, alas for tho plans he had laid!
And alas for the day just begun!
For this fly soon lit in the grateful shade
And to dream
Of the sights that should soon great hla eyes;
When unseen, .
From the green
Of a limb
Above him,
On his head,
By a thread,
Fell a spider,
tVho coolly devoured that bluebottle fly.
IIUMOtt OF THE DAY.
Maintains a very high standing The
thermometer.
"Time's money," growled tho disap
pointed creditor. "Well," replied the
persecuted debtor, "haven't I always
said I'd pay you in time?" Life.
"How do you like it?" asked a yachts
man of a young lady, as the boat went
up and down in the trough of the waves.
"Oh, I I it's too awfully swell!" was
the distressed reply.
"As we jourucy through life, let m
live by tho weigh," sang the happy
grocer as he put up fourteen ounces ol.
coffee and put it. on the customer's book
as a pound. Merchant-Traveler..
"He is a great artist." "Indeed? I
never knew he used his pencil at all."
"Oh, yes, he's tine. Come down some
day and seo him draw his salary. It's
the best thing he does." Boston Budget. '
Bella writes: "What is the independ
ent party?" It is tho party who don't
owe a cent and can get money at bank
whenever he wants it. IIo is tho kind
of an old party that most of us would
like to be. Koanm iUe Argus.
As they reached the other end of the
bridge ho said: "Y'ou must pay your
toll, Miss Edith." " What is that?" she
innocently asked. Then ho kissed her.
A few moments she remarked: "I don't
like this sido of town; let's go back."
"There is this difference between us,"
said tho needy tramp, looking the editor
full in the eye; "you fill along felt want.
and I. want R.long felt till." The editor
wept, and, with many a muffled blow,
hewed off a fragment of a wedding-cake
that hud been sent in with the notice,
and bunded it to the wanderer. "Fill
up on that." he said, "and you will feel
it long aftf r all trivial fond records have
been wiped away from the subtraction
tablo of your memory." Burlington
llauikeye.
Odd Traces of Lost Money.
Almost any ono could collect and tell
a good many incidents about lost money
that has been found if he would try, but
these cases came under my own observa
tion, and I can vouch for the truth.
A farmer in Kinnickiiinick valley was
paid $1,0(H) while ho was loading hay.
lie put it in his vest pocket, and after he
had unloaded tho hay he discovered that
ho had lost it, and no doubt hud pitched
the w hole loud into the mow on top of it.
Ho went to work and pitched it all out,
a handful at a time, upon the burn floor,
and when the hired man's fork tine came
up with a 1,000 bid on it knew that ho
struck a lead. He got it all.
A young man ono spring plowed a
pocketbook and $;!0 in greenbacks under,
and, by a singular coincidence, the next
j spring it M as plowed out, and, though
i rotten clear through, was sent to the
treasury, where it was discovered that
the bills were on u Michigan national
bank, whither they were sent and re
deemed. I lost a roll of $100 in the spring of
1882, and hunted my house and the of
fice through in search of it iu vain. I
went over the road between the office and
the house twenty times, but it was use
less. I then advertised the loss of inonev,
giving the different denominations of
bills, aud (-luting, us was the case, that
there was uu clastic band around the roll
wheu lost. The paper had not been issued
more than uu hour before I got my money,
every dollar o: it. It was iu the pocket
of my other vest. This should teach us,
first, the value of advertising, und sec
ondly, the utter folly of two vest.l tt the
i-uum time. Ace uik Mtrcury.