THE FOREST REPUBLICAN It pablVufl ttttf Vyxliiilar, by J. E. WENK. Office in Smearbmigh & Co.' Bulldinf ELM STREET, TIONESTA, FA. RATES OF ADVERTISING. rl ft o On flqnnr, fin Inrta, on Inaortlon tl to On ffi:r, oii Inch, on month 8 M On Rqimr, on Inch, thre month. On fi mt, ob Ineb, on yar 1" Two Pqiiar, on year 1 QaarUr Column, on yr Half Column, on yar On Colnmn,on yar M0 Legal ntlc t e.tabILhd rat. MarrUj ana oath notleo fraM. AU btli. for yearly edTrtlmau Hft;"f teriy. Temporary a4Trtlamni moat k pata m adranc. Job work ak en olrrry. tnwntm Terms, f 1.00 per Yr, lo nbr!pt1ona relTa for ft shorter pl4 tlisn tlire mnmti.. C'orrponlne .ollolud from all part cf th country. No nolle will b taken of toonmm coiamuuloaUous. YOL.IYII. NO. 12. TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 1884. $1,50 PER ANNUM. Ilk IP WE HAD BUT A DAY. tYe should fill the hoar with swectost thlngsf If Wo had but a day; Wo should drink alono ftt the purest springs In our upward way; We ahou'd love with a llfotime's love in an hour, If the hours wore fow; We should rest, not for dreams, but for fresher power To be nd to da W shnuld guido'our wayward or weary will Ey tho e'eflroet light; IV liould koop our eyes on the heavenly hills, If they lay Insight; We should trample the pride and the discon tent Beneath our feet; We should take whatever a good Gol sent, With a trust complete. We should waste no moment In went jegret, ' If the days wore but om If what we remembered and wo regret Went out with the tun ; We should bo from our clamorous selves so free t . To work or to pray, And be what our Father would have us be, If we bad but a day. THE OLD TREES SECRET. "We will take the house shall we not, Charlie?" We had gone a'.l over the roomy, old-fashioned house, my little wife and I, from tho dusty, cobwebbed garret to the neglected cellars, and we now stood together at tho back of the garden, critically surveying its appear ance. It was a low two-story house, built in tho shape of a T, with a cluster of tall chimnevs in tho middle and the thrco gables hidden in ivy. It had once stood quite out of tho town, which had since gradually crept toward it. until what had been a road wns now become a street of straggling cottages and villas, extending to the high wall inclosing the grounds. The lawn was Minded with old trees, and the garden choked up with thickets of lilac and snowball. The old lady, Mrs. Gago, who had for forty years resided here, leading a very secluded and invalid life, had taken no pains to keep the place in order, and sho and the property had decayed together, until recently she had died, and tho house was for stile. "It looks dreadfully gloomy and neg lected," said Cccie, gazing up at tho back windows. "Mrs. Moss, next door, says that for twenty years no one has occupied those upper rooms; and see how the Ivy has bound together those shutters on tho left. Hut it is a beauti ful old house, and I know that we can make it bright and cheerful. And then tho garden what a delight it will be to tho children, and to ourselves, too. We will take it, won't we, Charlie?"' There was no resisting her pleading, coaxing manner. So that very evening I went to see tho agent, and before the . week had elapsed the faouBe was ours. With what zeal and enjoyment we en tered upon the transformation of our new abode. The masses of ivy were torn down from tho gables or judiciously trimmed; every door and window was thrown wido to tho fresh air and sun light; and paint and paper, muslin cur tains, and bright carpets and India mat ting made the houso delightful to be hold. This much, accomplished, we turned our attention to the garden. It was al ready June, and tho season too advanced for much improvement; but we pulled down the rotted arbors, thinned out the thickets of roses and lilacs, and I caused a little round tublo and some rustic gar den seats to be placed under an old tree ut the further cud of the central walk. Here, on returning from my office on tho warm, sunny evenings, wo would sit Cecie engaged with some light stitching, and I with cigar, books and papers, read ing to her, while our little ones ran wild up and down the garden walks. "This is thoroughly delightful," I remarked, one evening. "How is it, Cccie, that we have managed to live eight years of housekeeping life without a garden?" "Yes," sho answered, radiantly, "it Is delightful. Living so much in the open air one seems to take a new and freak growth, like the flowers. Only " and here she glanced uneasily around "Only, Charlie, I think I fancy that this is not exactly tho spot for our al fresco boudoir." "Why not! It faces tho walk, it com mands a view of tho house and tho whole garden. And these branches hanging so low and clothed in ivy, make a nice canopy above us. What is it that you object tof "I scarcely know. But somehow I have never liked this tree." It was a very old tree under which we sat, with a huge gnarled trunk growing in a sloping position near the garden wall, and covered with ivy. About eight foot from tho ground the trunk separated into three branches, and here the ivy had matted itself in an impervious mass, con cealing the decayed branches with the exception of the extremities, which here and there protruded from the green mass, white and bare. "They look like skeleton fingers," said Cecie, glancing up, "and it gives me the horrors. I think the tree ought to be cut down. It always reminds me of a graveyard or a haunted houso." I did not at the lime pay much atten tion to her remarks. lint some days after the again suggested that our gar den table and chairs should be removed to some other spot. "1 don't know why it is," she said, uneasily, 'but I always feel nervous here. I fancy there is something pecu tuliar about Hie place in tLe rustling of the ivy uud in the very atmosphere; 1 uitea find myself starting and looking around with ft vague sense of something horrible. I hate the sight of that tree, with its distorted shape and bare skeleton arm." I rallied her upon being fanciful, but promised that the '.'skeleton arms" of which sho complained should be cut off. Sho sat silent for ft moment, then said, seriously : "Charlie, did it ever occur to you that certain objects in nature trees, for in stance may have an individual life of their own! I don't mean the mere vege table life, but ft sort of mysterious spirit ual existence. Now, I can't help fancy ing that this tree is conscious of what is going on beneath it that it remembers things which it has witnessed in its long life, and, were it able, could tell us some horrible ghastly story of the past. You may laugh, but I assure you that I never sit under this tree, even on sunny noon day, without feeling a chill creeping over me, and a sense of something mysterious and horrible, which makes me almost afraid." . "Of course,"-1 said; "having once im agined that tho dead branches resemble 'skeleton arms,1 and associated them in your own mind with the idea of ft grave yard, you will be haunted with all sorts of dismal thoughts and fancies in con nection with the tree. But since you don't like it, Cecie, I will have this bug bear removed, and we will build ft pretty summer-house on tho spot. I will speak to tho men to morrow, when they come to tako down tho wall." The portion of the wall to which I al luded separated our garden from that of our next door neighbor. It was of stone, but the mortar had fallen out and left it little more than a pile of loose stones, which I feared might at any moment topple down on the children, as they played about it. So I concluded to have it pulled down, and a light wooden pal ing placed in its stead. Over there, in the next house, lived an old gentlemen and his wife, who passed much of their timo in their garden, cul tivating flowers and small garden fruits, in which they appeared to take great de light. They had called on us, a cheerful and kindly old couple ; and when the old wall was pulled down and before the new one was up, tho way lay open to a more familiar intercourse. One evening, by their invitation, we stepped over into their garden to see a collection of roses upon which Mr. War ren prided himself. These duly admired, tho old lady expressed to Cecie her pleas ure in having neighbors who were neigh bors. She had lived ten years in their present abode, and in that time had only twice seen Mrs. Gage I "She wasn't always such a recluse," said the good lady. "I remember that when she and her husband first came hero, a young married couple (I was a child then), they were merry, gay ana fond of society. It was their daughter's fate which so sadly changed them. You have heard the story ?" Wo Viai4 r -i f Knnn 1 rr r in Vi i u yet Cecie remembered to have heard something about a daughter of Mrs. Gage running away to join a lover at a dis tance, and being never afterward heard of. "Her name was Emily," said Mrs, Warren, "and she was the handsomest girl in the town. She was an only child and had been all her life petted and in dulged, and allowed to have her own way. Such children don't generally turn out as well as t-icy should do; and Emilv Gage rejected many good offers, to fall in love with a handsome and dissipated fellow, who made his appearance here for a short time. Jieing unable to give a satisfactory account of himself, Mr. Gage forbade big visiting his daughter, and the two then agreed upon an elopement. This was put a stop to, and the young man shortly afterward left the place. The girl, however, was closely watched, the parents having cause to suspect that she was in secret correspondence with hi m. And one morning Bbe was no where to be found only a note slipped under the door of her parents' sleeping room informed them that she had gone o join her lover that she had taken with her all her jewelry to gether with five hundred dollars, which her father bad left in his writing-desk; since she would need money for traveling and other expenses. And that was the last that they ever knew about her." "But could they not uud the young man i" asked Cecie. "They found him, after a long search, but he denied all knowlodge of Emily and her intended flight. They had cor responded, and she had assurred him that she would yet find means to join him, but her letters had then ceased, nor had he ever since heard from her. This was his story. Some believed it, but others, though nothing could ever be proven against him, had dark suspicions of mm. Ana tne strangest tning was, that, having once passed the garden wall, every trace of the girl was utterly lost." 'The crardeu wall ?" "I forgot to meutionthat it was in that immuer sho escaped. She mounted the sloping trunk of the old tree at the foot of tho garden walk the same under which you so often sit and then stepped along its horizontal branches to the top of the wall. This was rendered evident by the broken twigs and scattered leaves at the foot of the tree. On the ground outside tho wall was found her shawl, which sho had doubtless dropped or for gotten in her haste. That was all. To this day the mystery of her fate remains uurevealed, though undoubtedly there was foul pluy somewhere. The jewels and the money were great temptations to crime. " That evening my wife said to me: " That horrible tree. Charlie ! Did I tell you that it had a secret to reveal? Perhaps it knows what became of rtt poor girl." Net day Cecie went on a visit of a few days to her mother, taking the chil area with her. Before going to my business I gave orders respecting the) tree. I wished every trace of it to be removed before her return, when perhaps she would forget all about It ana Its gloomy associations. Returning homo in the evening, 1 was met by the workmen with countenance of interest and mystery. Their infor mation startled me. While busied in cutting down the tree, they had heard something rattle and fall witlfin; and on ! - ' 1 ' J 1 I . I. 1 examination discovered wuuin tus uoucs of a skeleton, though whether human or not they could not tell. Communicating the fact to Mr. Warren, who was in his garden, they had by his advice desisted until my arnval. I went to the spot, ana with the men and Mr. Warren examined the tree. Though the opening already made the bones were clearly to be distinguished ; and I directed that the trunk should at once be felled. When this was done there was exposed a hollow stump, in which lay a mass of human bones, with remains of a woman's dress; and beneath these and the decayed wood and dust which had gathered over them gleamed the lustre of jewels and gold and silver coin. I looked at Mr. Warren, who, white as death, had staggard to a garden bench. My God 1" he exclaimed. " It is Emily 1" Yes, it was Emily. Of this there could be no doubt. The tree had long held its fearful secret, and was still un able to reveal it. It had given up Emily's skeleton, but how came the poor girl to bo immured within this living tomb if Further examination, however, re vealed the whole horrible truth. "I see how it all was," my old neigh bor said, in a broken and faltering voice, "She had thrown her shawl over the wall that it might not be in her way, and then mounted the tree to where the three great branches meet; and there, hidden by the masses of ivy, lay the fatal trap. Through that great hole she slipped, and the ivy closed over her in her living tomb." He shuddered, and the tears gushed into his eyes. We neither of us expressed the thoughts which chilled and moved our hearts to pitying horror. Had her death been sudden, or bad she here slowly starved and pined to death t Her cries could not have been heard, for the house stood apart, and her parents had left home and gone in pursuit of her. 1 thought of Cecie'a strange fancy concerning the old tree, and lost myself in vague conjectures as to the nature of those mysterious in fluences which sometimes affect our human perceptions, how or whence we may not know. This was the secret which the old tree so long held. And I may add that to this day Cecie knows nothing of it; for. beside the clergyman who gave Christian burial to the remains of the poor girl, no one but ourselves, who made the dis covery, ever knew the secret. We thought it best that it should be so. But I observed that Cecie never after complained of the uneasy influence which had before so annoyed her. With the removal of the tree and the burial of the bones, nature resumed her bright and joyous sway in the old garden. Siuan A. Weiss. Making Pearl Buttons. The Springfield (Mass.) Republican says that a company in that city which makes pearl buttons is unique among New Eng land button-making industries in that it uses only simple machinery, depending mainly on the trained hands and eyes of its twenty-five or thirty workmen for the perfection of its products. The marine shells from which the mother-of-pearl is obtained shells of the pintadina variety, coming from the East and West Indies, California, and, in fact, all quarters of the world are taken as they come packed, are rinsed in water, and are then ready for turning. The shell is made up of the mother-of-pearl inside, this being of a creamy or varied coloring and a thinner outer layer of a bony texture. The shell is pierced through a number of times by a hollow boring tool, fitted to a common lathe, some dozen of small discs being the result. Each disc then goes through three or four or sometimes a half dozen more operations at the hands of the men standing in a line at one work-bench, each having a lathe and a three- cornered file, sharpened to suit his work. The bony" part is cut from tho disc and the button shape given it while revolved by the lathe against the sharp steel held in the workman's hand, no gauge being used. Some of the buttons are erooved with a few lines on the face, and a few holes are punched in each. Part of the buttons are subjected to a mysterious coloring operation in a revolving box, but the best grades are finished in the natural colors. The pol ishing is mainly done by hand. The whole process is very quick, and the method has the great advantage of being immediately adapted to any style of but ton desired, no change in machinery being required, but merely a fresh ad justment of flesh and blood. All sizes of ordinary buttons are turned out, as well as some "codar buttons," though no fancy articles are made. The light-colored material is the most valuable. Fifty cents a pound is paid for the rough shells, and the buttons are worth from one to seven or eight cents each. Tho store room contains many bushels of these valuable little things, ready for the fin ishing touches to fill orders. The use of pearl buttons bus been confined mainly to wen's clothing for five or six years, but the fashion is thought to be tending toward u more general use of them by women. The company has been gradually increasing its force for some months. The workmen are mostly imported from Pennsylvania, and have served a long apprenticeship. They are paid by the piece, and tho better workers make about 3 a day, others averaging as low a $3. MOMENTS FOR MERRIMENT. TOXXES THAT WZZJC SKIVE DTJLIi OAHB AW AT. PToGreaU !. Over tho Fenr-Illrel . Help Too Tough New Cent Bad a Unnrter Piec. A gentleman bought a newspaper and tendered in payment a piece of forty sous. The newspaper woman " I haven't the change ; you can pay me as you pass along to-morrow." The gentleman " But supposo) I should be killed to-day?" The newspaper woman "Oh, it wouldn't be a verv great lossl" Pari Wit. ' ' . Over tho Fence Mrs. Slingonin put her head over the fence and thus addressed her neighbor, who was hanging out her week's wash ing: "A family has moved in the empty house across the way, Mrs. Clothes-line." "Yes, I know." "Did you notice their furniture!" "Not particularly." "Two loads, and I wouldn't give a dol lar a load for it. Carpets 1 I wouldn't put them down in my kitchen. And the children 1 I won't allow mine to associ ate with them. And the mother 1 She looks as though she had never known a day's happiness. The father drinks, I ex pect. Too bad that such people should come into this neighborhood. I wonder who they are." "I know them." "Do youf Well, I declare. Who are they?" "The mother is my sister, and the father is superintendent of the Methodist Sunday-school." A painful pause ensues. Hired Help. Mrs. Jooblewizzle had hired a new and a very green errand boy, and she sent him with a basket and the money to get some Groceries. When he came back he did not report, and she called downstairs to him: "John, did you get the cabbage?" "That's wot you tole me to git," he answered, with a lazy arawi. "Did you get the potatoes?" "That's wot you tole me to git." "Did you get the starch? ' "That's wot you tole me to git." "Did you get the soap?" "That's wot you tole me to git." "Did you get the sugar?" "That's what vou tole me to git." "I know that," she shrieked, after the same monotonous reply floated up to her for the fifth time, "but did you get them?" "No, ma'am, I lost the money, and tome dang thief uv a boy stole the basket, Merchant- Traveler. Now Cont and a Quarter Piece. Scene Park Row. Dramatis Persona A bootblack and newsboy. Bootblack (with great unction) Say, chummy, did you see any of the new cent and a quarter pieces? Newsboy (with vehement surprise) See what? Bootblack (with great deliberation). See any of the new cent and a quarter pieces. Newsboy (with evident sympathy) Been out all night! Bootblack (with fervid anger) No, ain't been out all night. I'll bet you a banana I can show you one of the cent and a quarter pieces. Newsboy (with lofty scorn) I don't want no banana, but I'll buy a whole bunch for you if you show me the cent and a quarter. There was a wicked look on the boot' black's face as he went down in his pocket. Then he retreated a step or two and took out a cent and a quarter of a dollar. "There s the cent aud a quarter pieces," he said as he sloped away, "and I'll take the banana some other time." New York American Queen. Too Ton flu Late one evening recently a New York goat of the William persuasion and ten der years, though robust stomach, re turned to the bosom of the family with an expression of pain upon his counte nance and a suspicious contortion about the stomach. " Oh, my eon," said the grave and reverend sire, "you are ailing you have eaten something indigestible. What is it ?" "I know not, father." returned young William. ' All I havo lunched on this evening was a few circus posters on a bill board arouud the corner." "It is as I thought, my son," wisely nodded the old stager, "You have swallowed one or two of thoso stories concerning the white elephant. 1 saw them myself, my son, and decided not to go them. They looked too tough for even my muscular gastric juice. But Lere is a choice assortment of tin cans and old shoes. Eut a few of these and by the time they mix with the circus bill in your stomach I think the kinks will be pretty ctlectuaiiy rcmovea. toucan not be too careful about eating what you find on the bill boards these times. liliaard. A Too VI tiling; Young Nan. "Do you love me us dearly as men have ever loved women?" said Mabel, finding an easy anchorage for her cheek about the latitude of his upper vest pocket and the longitude of his left suspender. "More," said George, with wuuing en thusiusm, for this was about the two hun dred and fourteenth encore to which he had responded since 8 o'clock. "More, fur more dearly. Oh, ever so much more." "Would jou," she went on, and there was a tremulous impres&iveness in her votce that warned the young man that the star was going to leave her lines and spring something new on the house 1 "would you be willing to work and wait for me, as Rachel waited at the well, even long years?" "Seven 1" he cried, in a burst oi gen uine devotion. "Seven I Aye, gladlyl Yes, aud more 1 Even until seventy times seven 1 Let's make it seventy, anyhow, and prove my devotion." Somehow or other he was alone when he left tho parlor a few minutes later, and it looks now as though he would have to wait about 700 years before he saves fuel by toasting his shins at the low-down gate in the parlor again. There are men, my son, who always overdo the thing; they want to be meekeT than Moses, stronger than Sampson and ten times more particular than Job, the printer; that is, he isn't, but he used to Uz. Hawteye. Fish That Go Ashore. An old fisherman took a scientific re- fiortcr of tho New York Sun to a pool on .ong Island, where they found numerous little fishes (killies) resting partly out of water, with their heads high and dry upon blades of grass. The old man also spun a yarn about some large fishes that he had seen hopping along on the banks of a river in the Malay country. These fishes were recognized from the fisherman's descrip tion by the man of science, who then took his turn at telling fish stories as follows: "The fish is only one of a dozen or twenty that are more or less amphibious. When the Ceradotus is under water it breathes by the fills, but it has a habit of leaving the water and prowling around on the marshes of the Mary river. As soon as it leaves the water the gas in the air blad der is expelled with a noise that can be heard half a mile. The fish takes in air at the mouth or nostril that passes into the air bladder, to which the heart is now pumping blood to be purified, instead of sending it to the gills. "The Ceradotus, which may be called a dry land fish, is over six feet long, and looks uke a great eel with two pairs of fins that compare with feet, and the most curious part of it is that previous to 1870 the fish was unknown, except as a fossil. These fossil remains were described years ago by Professor Owen as the Cera dotus. Strange stories came from the Mary river of loud noises that were heard in the swamps at night, and the crushing and rushing as of some huge animal. At last these rumors attracted the attention of a naturalist, who went to the locality, and the discovery of the fish was the result. They live on leaves and vegetable matter that they obtain partly out of water, and they are the Jast of a powerful race that is probably doomed to extinction. " The killies are not the only fishes that leave the water. Last year I spent some weeks near a small fishing village where there was a large eel pond, and to say that it was alive with these animals is putting it extremely mild. Some au thorities say that the eel goes down to the sea only once a year, but these fel lows went out to sea every night, com pletely filling the little channel so that in wading across you stepped on hundreds that writhed about your feet and legs. If there happened to bo a dory or other boat about that blocked the way,tho eels left the water and wriggled away over land, presenting a curious sight, and moving with such rapidity that it was an impossibility to catch them. I thought it might be accidental, and inquired of the fishermen how it was, and one told me that several years before the entrance to the pond became clogged by sand after a storm, and the eels, finding no way of getting out, started across the sand every night, forming passageways by which they returned. "In England, when a pike pond gets too low to suit its occupants, they, ac cording to Couch, start overland in regu lar droves, and travel until they reach some place better suited to their require ments. This is true of a large number of fishes that are peculiar to the East and to South America. In the latter country the catfishes known Doras and Hussars, when left in drying pools, travel overland in droves, and are caught in great num bers by birds and various ani mals as well as men. Fishes of another genera, from North America, have been fouud far from water. Per haps the most curious is the Protopterus, some being found in Africa as well. They also breathe by the air bladder when deprived of water, but instead of migrating overland they descend into the mud and encase themselves into a ball, the interior of which is lined with a slimy secretion, and thus closed up, as it were, they lie until the rainy season comes again, and they are soaked out. In certain parts of Africa barren wastes have suddenly become flooded, and tho sudden appearance of fishes has given rise to ideas of spontaneous generation, as the enormous quantities of fishes could not bo explained on any other hypothesis unless they had rained down. Duldorf, the Danish naturalist, caught an anatas, a perch-like fish climbing a palm, work ing its way up by its sharp fins. Hence, these fish are called climbing perch. They don't climb usMally, but they are perfect ly amphibious, like a frog. "As a matter of course, these fishes have been experimented upon. An Eng lish naturalist put a blcnny in an aquar ium, and at certain times noticed that the fish tried to jumD out of water. To see what it would do, he set a stone in tho water that formed a little island, and in a moment the blenny jumped upon it, high and dry out of water. The experi mentalist noticed that it was then low tide on the beach, and every day at ex actly low tide the fish jumped out upon the rock, and returned to the water at flood tide. It is remurkublo that the fish should leave the water, but how much more so that it should iu a house and tank know the turn of the tide." A chants acquuintaince an introduc tion to a pretty member of the choir. ILtrtford Journal. THE DEFENDER. Care came and laid hi hand upon her shoulder, And Borrow came, hr lids with salt tear wet; And Pain, with features marred, and whit and set, Frets! to her side; and then, tern-vlsed, gnunt, Frightening her shaken soul, unpitylne Want Stared in her feoa; and then, growing bolder By all these ills, Temptation, smiling, fair, Spread for her weary feet a charmed snare, With tender, cruel hand. Bo cold the werld; AU her weak soul in a ; strange tempest whirled, With whitened lips, and sad, Imploring breath, She stretches out her helpless hand to Detth. rhen lo! one came, before wbce radian grac3 Borrow grew dumb, and grim Care hid hi face; Before who presence a radiant as tk day, Temptation, vexed and beaten, fil away; For whoe dear sake she trembled at tho thought Of Death, whoso pallid kiss she vain had sought With a Btrange rapture, holy, reatful, sweet. Against her own she felt a true heart beat. Oh, Life! she cried, no ill of thin can hold me, Since Love, the mighty, In his arms doth fold me. Charlotte Perry, in Vanity Fair. HUMOR OF THE DAT. The most courted belle The dinner bclL The Egyptian injunction "Mummy' the word." The hen that thinks a woman throws shoo's at her for good luck is very much mistaken. Bradford Mail. Hospitality. "Do take some more of the vegetables, Mr. Blood, for they go to the pigs anyway. Harvard Lampoon. "Another expedition to the pole," said the man, as he wended his way to his barber shop. Cincinnati Saturday Night. J "Yes," she said, "I always obey my husband, but I reckon I have something to say about what his commands shall be. " Boston Post. My love and I for kisses played And it did chance to be The darling girl won all the stakes And gave them all to me. Salem Sunbeam. ' The garden season is here, and the uusband of the - woman - who - throws-stones-at-the-hens is getting himself into a position to dodge. Bradford Sunday Mail. Lady, to small boy with ft dog John ny, does that dog bark at night? Johnny, who is a connoisseur in dogs No, ma'am, he barks at cats and other dogs. iftr-chant-Traveler. Now is the time when the small boy in the country comes into the house with his hair all wet and tells his mother that he ran homo from school so fast that he is all perspired. Botton Post. The price of Circassian girls hes lately dropped to 000 the lowest figure ever known. All youmg men who have been despising matrimony because wives are so cheap can now purchase one for about a year's saiary, ana be happy. Burling ton Free Press. "I don't think I'm cranky," said a dud ish young fellow, but when I go out with my dog, and hear a man whistle and I look around, and he says he was whistling at tho old dog and not the puppy, 1 think it is time I was asserting my rights. Merchant-Traveler. ' In Siberia you can purchase a wife for eight dogs." As long as girls can be had for the asking in this country, very few of our young men will go to Siberia to procure a wife. And one who. has seen a Siberian wife will wonder why they come so terribly high. Norrittovin Herald, It is said that as late as the latter part f the thirteenth century, "the upper classes in Europe ate whales for dinner." It is not stated, but we should think one whale would not only make a dinner for the largest family in Europe, but there would be enough left over to warm up for next morning's breakfast. Norrie- loten Herald. A messenger boy recently fell off the roof of a very high building up town, but was not hurt at all. It seems when ho fell he was asleep, and the slowness which characterizes him when on life and death errands didn't desert him. In fact he dropped to the ground s i lowly and softly, that when lie landed he was not awakened, but went right on dreaming until a policeman aroused him. Pack. The Elevator. i uii person that first put an elevator into a high structure, so as to save pas sengers the labor of walking up many steps of stairs, little dreamed of the im portant results that have followed the adoption of that expedient. It has practically revolutionized tho domestic and business architecture of large cities. In New York there are literally hundreds of high buildings accommodating thous ands of iicrsons. ulthough the apartment and ollice buildings are a thing of yester day. In this cily thero aro score of dwellings between 140 aud 1U0 feet iu height. One houso is over 180 feet high. The lower part of New York 1ms a num ber of enormous structures tilled with otlices luxuriously furnished. The oc cupants of the upper floors pref.sr them to those nearer the surface of tho earth. The air, they think, is purer, hu1 there are fewer annoyances, while the elevator is a swift and pleasant mean of com munication. Demurest.