6
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VOL. XVII. NO. 4.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 7, 1884.
$1.60 PER ANNUM.
111
i WAXING AND WAWINO.
Hope and the sun ore like a one
Both largest when they rise;
Tbey shrink alike from morn till noon,
Ai life prows old and wine.
With what ntilxmnded 1iomj the boy
Begins his world-cnroer!
How wondrous largo and bright with jo
Ho rising suns aniwarl
But ns tho sun grows less and less,
And paler a they climb
The va( a:it sky, so we cotifi a
The cold deceit of time.
Our boyhood ho)xs will shrink and fade
As boyhood drifts away,
And one by one to rent are laid
Tho failures of the day.
And yet th sun at noon that turns
Its downward course will grow and row
Till in the we. t It mils a -id burns.
As large as half a day ago.
So, as we hear that other sphere,
The early hoj revivos,
That all we thought was ours here
My be, In other lives.
i Harper1 Weekly.
LEFT BEHIND.
It was 10 o'clock of a July morning,
nnd tho largest fraction of humanity had
been some hours earning its daily bread.
Tho idlers had just risen from the break
fast table. To this latter duns belonged
tho young mnu who leaned lazily on tho
piazza railing, and looked absently out on
Luko v nun nuke, lseside him in a Jiugo
chair, s:it a little woman rocking to and
fro, with nn untiring movement, and
with deft lingers plying in and out
among bright silk nnd crewels. She was
idle, too, in her woman's laborious way,
but there was a lack of repose in her in
dolence that made it restful to turn again
to her brother, who stood in statuesque
inaction, looking into tho still water
below.
"What nro you going to do, to-day J"
tho little woman asked.
"Nothing."
"There's a great deal going on, and
very nice sort of people, too. Do you
see that pretty girl down there at tho
landing ?"
. The one with rod V
"Yes, don't you think she's pretty !"
"1 hadn't thought of it." ' .
"Well, she is remarkably. Wouldn't
you like to meet her J -I could easily
manage it." .
"I'm not particular. Is sho worth
while ?"
"Ben, you exasperate me. Do you
tako an interest in anything ?"
"I don't do anything elite in Wall
Btreet. I'm olT duty now. I believe in
resting in a philosophical sort of a way."
"Well, I. suppose you are tired, poor
fellow 1 I know how you feel. I am
tued myself most of tho time."
"Tired I I look like it," laughed the
young man. "I'll tell you how it is; I
simply want my liberty. It doesn't pay
this dancing attention on half a dozen
girls whom you never see again."
"Oh, well, don't, then."
Ben Adams at twenty-one had per
formed his social duties with great zest.
Four years later ho was still heart whole,
and beginning to take a purely fraternal
interest in blushing debutantes. He
' danced less and went to tho opera alone,
or with his friend Rutland, n coufirmed
bachelor of twenty-nine. With entiro
resignation young Adams acted as. usher
at many fashionable weddings, and with
out a sigh saw Catharine, Kate and Kitty
led down tho aislo by other men. And
so ho approached his thirties and withiu
a year of them leaned idly over the
piazza railing at Lako Wiunipako, and
declared to his sister that "liobinson
Crusoo was tho luckiest fellow of his ac
quaintance. Give me a desert
isle for a summer sojourn. What would
refresh a man like going back to savag
ery 1"
"I don't think it would be enough of
a change to benefit some I know,"
lauehed his sister. "Weil, Ben, all I
can say is, you are very different from
what you use to be."
In the meanwhile the boat below
pushed olI,nii''' ns followed it with his
eyes, chiefly it would have been
more trouble to look another way. Tho
young lady in the stemSvas Miss Joseph
ine Vail, and the boy at the oars was her
.twelve-year-old. brother. Josephine was
a young lady of views supported by more
or less logic and by what some thought
an extremely pretty face. Her enemies
but she had none would have said
that while she despised conventionalities
no one was more annoyed when obliged
to disregard them, and while she re
sented the protecting limitations of her
sex, bho was quito willing to accept the
attentions based on the theory of their
existence. Her father said one day:
V Nothinar.would take the kinks out of
Josephine like settling down with a good
husband." The young lady took it in
high dudgeon, and went away meekly to
wonder it it were true. On this par
ticular July morning Josephine accepted
her brother Tom's services as oarsman,
not because she was not perfectly able to
row herself, but because it would keep
Tom out of mischief.
" Don't rock the boat, Tom. It doesn't
frighten me, but I can't read."
There was a pause.
"How near the bank, in tne shade,
Tom."
Another loti'j pause.
"Hay, sis," s.iid Tom at' length, "now
we're olT, I'll tell you where we're
going." , ;
"Where you're going? W by, you re
going to take me out fur a row."
"Not much. I'm' going two miles
about to see some fellows who are camp
ing out."
"And going to take me I I think you
arc EUatsJten, sir, Ulvs mi thota ewi,"
"No you don't. Leave 'em alone and
sit still.'"
"Tom, turn this boai inetantly, or I'll
i
What'll you do ? Como now; you sit
still or I'll "
"Tom, there's tho Desert Isjand just
ahead. Don't run into it. Bo careful;
you'ro going straight toward it."
"We might land there," ho said,
blandly.
"To bo sure we might, "said his sister,
glad of anything to divert him from the
first scheme.
"All right, just as you ssy."
Tom turned his boat toward tho great
rock, which lifted its broad back out of
the water. It was fitly called the Desert
Isle, for its few square feet of surface
supported not so much as a blade of
grass or a bit of inoss.
'Hop out," said Tom: "I've got to see
to the boat. I guess you can climb up to
the top easy enough."
"Of course I can," said Josephine;
"as if I needed your help, you little
monkey."
In a moment sho stood at the top of
tho rock, and in another moment a de
risive laugh came from below.
"Good-by ; I hope you will enjoy your
self. I'll seo you later."
Plato says: "A boy is the most
vicious of wild beasts." Plato and Miss
Vail were of one opinion on that point.
Sho looked about her and took in the
situation. She was monarch of about
twenty-five feet of rough gray rocks, the
sides of which descended abruptly to the
water. Perched high on this peddstal,
her figure stood out against the sky in
bold relief. A book and parasol were
her only accessories, for by some happy
inspiration she had clung to these. The
suu was high in tho heavens, but its hot
rays were mercifully tempered by a soft
breeze on tho lake.
Josephino seated herself, raised her
parasol and opened her book. She faced
the probability that at least two hours of
noonday solitude were beforo her. The
philosophical course of action was to
make the best of it. But what a situa
tion to bo discovered in ! Bho remem
bered with satisfaction that a large
party had gone on a picnic to-day, and
the dowagers left behind wore not
given to boatincr at high noon.
Sho tried to think how she should
laueh it off if anybody should see her,
but under the most cheerful aspect she
seemed to herself a little ridiculous spec
tacle. To be ridiculous in a good cause
had in it an clement of heroism, but the
present situation was one of unmitigated
absurdity, and Josepheno Vail always
felt the heroic rather than the comic to
be her forte. Once tears of real vexation
started as her head began to throb iu
sympathy with tho hot pulsation of the
air about her.
An hour had dragged its length when
Josepheno suddenly lifted her head and
listened painfully. A man's veice sing-
Ling and the splash of oars, nnd, yes, in
an instant, a boat swung slowly arouna
tho bend. One man sat in it lazily
singing.
"It's that base creature who watched
us off this morning. It's a type I detest.
And to think he should seo me hcrel
It's really more than I can endure." The
girl looked with envy on the tortoise
which slipped easily from the base of the
rock into tho water as ho heard the dis
turbing sound of oars.
"I hope he'll have the good taste to
suppose I came here of Tny own free will.
He wouldn't think of interfering with
me, I hope. What 1 I believe he's com
ing straight toward me !"
Josepheno turned the leaves of her
book with an interest that grew every
moment more intense. But at length
decency required some recognition of the
nearing boat. The young man was row
ing now as if he had renewed interest in
life. He was soon at the base of the
rock.
"I beg your pardon," he said, as he
raised his hat ; "can I be of any service
to you?"
"You are very kind, sir. You find me
in a very absurd condition."
"You have evidently been shipwrecked.
Are you the sole survivor?"
"No, not shipwrecked, but' put ashoro
and abandoned by my cruel tyrant of a
brother. To tell you the truth, sir, I am
the victim of a practical joke. My little
brother has left mo here while he goes
farther up the lake to visit some friends
who are camping there."
"I beg you will make use of my boat,
then, to return. I will como up to you
iu one moment."
Leaping out of his boat beforo Miss
Vail could say a word he drew it up on
a low shelf of the r6ck and quickly reached
her side.
"Let me help you," the young man
said, with such a firm 'assurance of good
breeding that she made no resistance or
attempt at independence, but accepted
the proffered aid in a quiet, matter-of-
course way.
"Your boat! your boat, sir!" she sud
denly cried. It was too late. The rising
breeze drove the water with such force
a"aiust the rock so as to dislodge the
boat, and before Adams could grasp it,
it waB gayly tilting about, a half dozen
varus awav
The two looked at each other a mo
ment and then laughed, though both
were conscious of its being questionable
taste.
Adams sobered and said: "Can you
ever forgive me. Miss
"Miss Vail; I am Miss Vail."
"And I am Mr. Adams. Can you be
inn"iianimous enough to forgive mei"
"That is the question 1 should ask
you."
"Ah, you evade mine. At any rate I
bliii.ll never fonnve myself. A worse bit
of bungling I never saw. The truth is,
Miss Vail, I have had very little experi
ence in rescuing fair ladies. You are the
first whose life I have tried to save. I am
no hero, as you see."
The genuia annoyance ef tar compan
ion roused the compassion of Josephine,
and she began to talk to him with a des
perate chcerf ulncBS and acceptance of the
situation.
"What a cold-blooded little villain
that brother of yours must be, Miss Vail,
to desert you in this fashion. I suppose
we must throw ourselves on his mercy
when he 'comes back. How are you
going to account for me? Consider mo
your man Friday."
Beneath their light talk ran an under
current of more or less bitter meditntion
on tho part of each. Miss Vail shuddered
to think what a good story this would
make to circulate among her friends,
while Adams foresaw how it would add
to the conviviality of the club. lie began
with the fervent wish that he was out of
the scrape. He ended, I am glad to con
fess, by ceasing to envy itobmson (Jrusoe
his desert isle, and considering his own
far preferable. There was a brecziness
about this girl that made him forget tho
mounting thermometer, oho had a way
of going to tho point, and, moreover sho
had a point, two things which, lien
Adams told his sister he appreciated in a
woman.
In short, by dint of making the best
of it, Miss Vail and Adams were both
able to express honest sunrise when a
boat appeared in the distance, and in
taking out his watch, Adams lound it to
bo 8 o'clock.
"Now!" was all Josephine said, but
there were conflicting emotions in the
monosyllable.
"llullo-ol ' shouted a shrill voico
across the water.
"IIullo-o!" called Adams back.
Blank astonishment wiped all expres
sion out or loins lace at first, iut a
broad grin finally made its appearance.
" You re a great one, Jo," he muttered.
" I'd like to know where you wouldn't
find a beau. Did he drop down out of
tho clouds?"
"Hush, sir; you have been a very
naughty boy."
As thoy rowed home Adams devoted
himself to cultivating the acquaintance
of tho young scapegrace. Tho latter
proved very approachable, and Adams
found no difficulty in persuading him to
go fishing the next day.
When they were home at last, Jose
phine took her brother into her room and
turned the key.
"Tom, you've treated me very badly
to-day. What would you give if 1 would
not tell father? You wouldn' like to be
sent back to the military school, you
know."
"Say, sis, I'll tell you what," and the
little wretch gave a wink of immense sat
isfaction; "if you won't tell on me, I
won t tell on you. Honor bright."
"Mrs. Adams," said Mr. Ben Adams to
his wife at their wedding reception a year
after. "Don't you think we might af
ford to tell people how we met ; I never
knew a secret kept better. I nearly
ruined myself buying up that precious
brother-in-law of mine. . You see, I
thought on your account I wouldn't let
him tell. I d'idn t care ; I liked it. I had
no business to, you say? But I liked it,
nevertheless. Here are Rutland and his
Mary. Let's tell them the story. They
know we're going to Lake WinnipaKe for
our honeymoon."
Saved by an Albatross.
The Sidney (Australia) Telegraph says :
A singular story has been related to us by
the master of the bark Gladstone, which
arrived there from London. While tho
vessel was in latitude forty-two degrees
south and longitude ninety degrees east,
a seaman fell overboard from the star
board gangway. The bark was scudding
along with a rough sea and moderato
wind, but on the alarm of "man over
board " being given, she was rounded to
and the starboard lifeboat was lowered,
manned by the chief officer and four
men. A search for the unfortunate man
was made, but owing to the roughness of
the sea he could not be discovered ; but
the boat steered to the spot where he was
last seen. Here they found him floating
but exhausted, clinging for dear life to
the legs and wings of a huge albatross.
The bird had swooped down on the man
while the latter was struggling with the
waves and attempted to peck him with
its powerful beak. Twice the bird at
tacked its prey unsuccessfully, being
beaten off by the desperate sailor battling
with two enemies the water and the al
batross both greedy and insatiable.
For the third time the huge white form
of tho bird hovered over the seaman, pre
paratory to a final swop. The bird, eager
for its meal, fanned its victim with its
wide-spread wings.
Suddenly a thought occurred to him
that the huge form so close to his face
might become his involuntary rescuer.
Quick as thought he reached up and
seized tho bird, which he proceeded to
strangle with all his might. The huge
creature struggled with wings and pad
dles to free itself. In the contest the
sailor was beaten black and blue and
cruelly lacerated, but .he held his own,
and slowly the bird quivered and died.
Tho carcass floated lightly on the waves,
its feathers forming a comfortable sup
port for the exhausted man, who had so
narrowly escaped a lingering death. But
another danger awaited him. He was
not much of a swimmer, and tho excite
ment of the extraordinary conflict began
to tell upon him. He was faint and grow
giddy. But with one arm around the
albatross' body, under the wing, and one
hand clutching the bird's feet, the sailor
awaited his chance of rescue. Presently
he heard his comrades shout from the
boat, and in a few minutes more was safe
on board the bark, though a good deal
shaken and exhausted.
. Our great thoughts, our great affec
tions, the truths of our life, never leavo
us. Surely they cannot separate from
our consciousness, shall follow it wither
soever that shall go and are of thsir Da
tura divine sad U&moruL
AMONG THE JERSEY COWS.
VISIT TO A HODl. PENHSTLVA5IA
STOCK FASM.
Butter Which Sell at Fifty Cents A
ound - Twenty Cows IVortb
11 oro Than t,000 Kacli.
"Oath," in the Cincinnati Enquirer,
gives the following account of his visit
to the stock farm of Joseph C. Sibley,
near Franklin, Penn.
Franklin is surrounded with the der
ricks of oil wells, looking like skeleton
church spires, to tho number of scores
and hundreds, and most of these are still
pumping a small quantity of oil per
diem. Overlooking the tower on the op
posite side of French creek is the Pros
pect Hill stock farm of Joseph C. Sibley,
perhaps the most complete in all its ap
pointments now in this country. Con
nected with it in different tracts are
about six hundred acres' of land, and it
has a race-course used by the county ag
ricultural society. Near the gate going in
is the creamery, which manufactures two
barrels of cream into butter in about
forty-five minutes, and this butter is sent
all over the country at fifty cents a
Cound. On .the top of the hill is the
arn, which is of an octagonal or almost
circular pattern, and contains the entire
herd on two floors. From the cupola of
the barn, which gives the ventilation,
descends a pole, around which is a wind
ing stair connecting the two floors. In
the center of each floor is a large open
space, and the circle of cattle faces this
in stalls, their heads all appearing above
the stalls, and the trouglis at their knees.
Behind this row of cattle is an open cor
ridor, also circular, around which the
second greater circle of cattle stand at
their stalls.
On the upper floor a portion of this
second circle is devoted to the cows with
calves or about to calve. The cows in
calf are generally kept dry where this is
possible, so that the calf can get the full
nourishment; but it is exceedingly diffi
cult in some cases to dry the Jersey cow,
as the tenacity with which she makes
milk is the great secret, of her value. She
is the most wonderful butter-making ani
mal known to man. Other kinds of cat
tle run to beef, but tho Jersey so assimi
lates her food that the globules which
might make beef flow in her milk, and
hence the extraordinary production of
some of these cows, and their high prices
in a country where the chemist has been
at work with butter, and has given us
various forms of wagon grease and coal
tar instead of the Alderney produce.
The importation of Jersey cattle into
the United States began about seven
years before the war. It has gone on
with such enthusiasm that we now have
about 21,000 Jerseys, either imported or
born here, every one of which is register
ed in the Jersey herd-book, that is now
assuming the proportions of a library.
The , Jersey cattle by which general
name is meant cattle of Jersey, Sark and
Alderney improve in this country over
their condition in their native islands,
and they make more cream and butter,
and thrive wonderfully. They are dis
tributed over the entire country. They
are generally of a fawn color, with rather
dark gray or blackish faces; the cows
are very gentle, and the bulls vicious.
I was interested in two things in this
stable. In the first place the cream
separator, which is run by a steam en
gine, revolves with enormous rapidity,
and the cream flows out of one spigot and
the skimmed milk out of another. Then
I observed the apparatus for cleaning
cows, which are carefully washed and
brushed once or twice a day by means of
brushes operated by the engine. The
cow, calf or bull is brought forward ' and
tied to a post, and from above these
brushes are brought to her body,
and carefully raise every hair.
The cattle like it, but their tails
have to be tied up in a bag, for not long
ago one of the brushes tore out a tail.
The temperature in the barn is kept at
fifty degrees the year round, regulated by
the thermometer, and the barn is lighted
with the Brush light on every flopr, and
at midnight is as bright as day. A Storage
battery is kept near the engine for this
purpose. The light used is the ordinary
gas bracket and small lamp.
At Prospect Hill farm the barn is
eighty eight feet in diameter. There are
thirty-two cattle on the inner rows and
forty-six on the rear rows. The engineer
has fifteen-horse power. The food given
the animals is boiled and mixed, partly
oats and partly ensilage, or leaves of
corn plucked when tho ear is full of milk.
The cattle like this food very much, and
it improves their butter. The Jersey
cow can be relied on to make one pound
of butter a day ; many of them make
sixteen pounds a week, and some of their
performances are almost fabulous.
By the .machinery used at Prospect
Hill it takes thirty-five minutes only to
separate the cream from the milk of
forty-five cows. The separator is a
Swedish patent. In one hour from the
commencement of the milking tho cream
is in the creamery and the skimmed milk
is being fed to the calves.
Mr. Sibley says that tho keep of his
cattlo in the winter is some where be
tween twenty and thirty cents a day, but
that for a portion of the year they do not
cost above eight cents a day. There are
about thirteen men employed on the herd
farm, and the cost of running it is about
Lf 17.000 a year.
At Prospect Hill there are forty-five
milch cows, producing not less than one
pound per diem of butter, while a good
deal of tho milk without being skimmed
is given to the calves. There are twenty
cows in the stable that f 2,000 apiece
would not buy.
The czar of Russia owrns personally
220,000 square milt J1 of territory in Si
beria, yielding the small annual rent
of $150,000, not much for 140,000,000
acres, -
SELECT SIFTINtlS.
Total abstinence, even for boys, was
a tiling unknotMn England early in
this century.
Savon, tho French word for soap, is
ascribed to Savona, the place at liich it
was first manufactured.
Among the Goths, Iberians and Moors
the licking of the thumb was regarded
as a solemn pledge or promise.
The pearls Ind emeralds worn by Cali
gula's wife were worth 11,000,000, but
she was not usually attended by private
detectives.
It was formerly customary in England
for the sick to wear a kerchief on the
head, and a certain virtue was attached
to the custom so that in Cheshire tying a
kerchief on the head and drinking a pos
set was a remedy for everything.
The Musurgia, printed in 1030, tells
of a speaking-trumpet invented by one
Kacher, who read a litany from a convent
on the top of a mountain standing at the
foot of it two Italian miles off. This is
the first telephone of which there is any
account.
The earliest statute against the em
ployment of playing cards bears date in
the reign of Henry VIH., and is entitled,
"An act for the maintenance of artillery
and the debarring of unlawful games."
In fact, it is simply intended to encourage
archery.
North America was called Mexicana in
an English almanac published in 1747,
and South Amerisa, Peruviana. The
provinces of Mexicana were New Spain,
Florida, New Albany, New England, New
Franca, or Canada. The islands were
Newfoundland and California.
The captain of a coal steamer, which
loaded at Cardiff, Wales, missed his dog,
and sailed in grief without him. When,
thirty-one days later, his cargo was dis
charged at Constantinople, the spaniel
was lound in a little cayity among the
coal, where he had survived his long
fast. Though too weak to stand, he
was restored in a few days by careful
feeding upon small quantities of bread
and milk, repeated at short interval.
WISE WORDS.
We must have a weak spot or two in a
character before we can love it much.
The beggar is the only man in the uni
verse who is not obliged to study appear
ances. That each thing, both in small and in
great, fulfllleth the task which destiny has
set down.
Good taste rejects excessive nicety; it
treats little things as little things, and is
not hurt by them.
Be at least as polite to father, mother,
child, as to others; for they are more im
portant to you than any other. .
Treat everybody with politeness, even
those who are rude to you. For remem
ber that you show courtesy to others, not
because they are gentlemen, but because
you are one.
Young man, don't forget that all the
people are watching you, and most of
them are more ready to charge your
account with something bad than some
thing good.
Never pronounce a man to be a willf u
niggard until you have seen the contents
of his purse. Distribution, you must re
member, should be in accordance with
the receipts.
The hours we pass with happy pros
pects in view are more pleasing than
those crowned with fruition. In the first
instance, wecook the dish to our own ap
petite ; in the latter, nature cooks it for
us.
It is not a question as to whether any
man may or may not have objects of
beauty; it is not required that any man
should make himself a hermit in the
desert. A man has a right to wealth and
all that it produces, but no man has a
right to hold them selfishly and shut
others out from their enjoyment.
Beautiful Harbor.
One grand picture gallery Sydney pos
sesses and sufficiently enjoys its harbor.
Let none who values his place in any
Australian heart murmer that he never
heard of Sydney harbor, or hint that it
has any equal in the world. When I tirst
sailed on it a gentleman gravely assured
me that, with all its sinuosities, this
harbor, had a water-front of 2,800 miles.
Deduct about two thousand and you will
be nearer the fact. DoJuct a proportion
ate amount of enthusiasm and you still
have the sober truth that this harbor,
with its green promontories und islets,
its bays and nooks and beaches, studded
with shining villas, is of a beauty that
never wearies tho eye. As, during many
months of the year, fair weather may be
counted on, there are many picnics on
the wooded shores and so much room
that none need jostle each other. On
Sundays there are many excursionists,
but little bathing, the sharks being a
sufficient police force to keep all bathing
inside the palings and hoses provided at
various spots, with scrupulous separation
of sexes. Jf. 1). Conway.
One of the most interesting and valua
ble features of tho Johns Hopkins Univer
sity library is the newspaper bureau. A
trained editor and a staff of assist
ants read all the representative dailies
and mark superior articles upon economic,
political, social, educational, legal and
historical subjects. These are afterward
clipped, arranged in newspaper budgets,
and kept in largo envelopes or oblong
boxes, which are marked with labels. The
lists of subjects iucludes everything of
value that finds its way into the columns
of the press. Bulletin boards are covered
daily with the best clippings from the
latest papers, arranged under the leading
heads of currant topics,
I THK HrM E OP TH K fiOUI-
BT TBU AUTHOR Of TIB STAB SPAHOLKD
BANNKR.
The correspondent semling the following
poem to the Hew Yorlt Ohservrr, remarks:
''I hare never seen It in print, but obtained
It through a manuscript copy of ft friend of
the author. Mr. Francis 8. key, and foel sure
I can vouch for Its authenticity," ,
Oh, where can the soul find relief from its
woes, i
A rof uge of safety, a home of repose? '
Can earth's highest summit or deepest hid
vale
Dive a refuge no sorrow or sin can assail?
No, no, there's no home!
There's no horns on earth, the soul has no
' home.
Can it leave the low earth, and roar to the
sky.
And seek for a home in the mansions on high
In the bright realms of bliss a home shall be
given,
And ths soul find a rest in its Home of the
Heaven.
Yes, yes, there's a home!
There's a home in high heaven, tho soul has a
home. '
Oh, holy and happy its home sha 11 be there,
Free forever from sorrow, from sin and from
care,
And the loud hallelujahs of angels shall rise
To welcome the soul to its home of the skies.
Home, home, home of the soul!
The bosom of God is the home of the soul!
HUMOR OF TIIE DAY.
Under a cloud An umbrella.
The man who "found his level" was a
carpenter, of course. Boston Bulletin.
The best hand to hold in the game of
life is that of your best girl. Waterloo
Olsercer. .
One good thing may bo said of the
pawnbroker he sticks to his pledges.--HomereiUe
Journal.
A Vermont man has been married six
times, and he's the citizen they always get
to go first in a bear hunt. Boston l'ot.
It doesn't speak much of the size of a
man's mind when it takes him only a min-'
ute to make it up. jV?u York Oraphk
An English paper says that American
are good listeners. Our invention of the
telephone proves it. Nea York Journal.
It seems strange that a man should -hurt
himself when he drops on a aide
walk. Down is so soft, you know.
Sitings.
Every affliction has its blessing. The
man with a wooden leg never knows what
it is to have rheumatism in that ankle.
Chicago Sun.
A. linen shirt was tirst worn in Eng
land about tRe year 1250. " There was a
mau in our office yesterday who had on
that identical shirt. Rockland Courier.
A fashion item declares that the long
truin is going out of fashion., Let'em
go. This is the kind of departing train
that no one will care if they do muss.
&tatenman.
"There is a species of lizard that can
throw off its tail at pleasure." In this it
resembles the writers of serials for the
story papers, albeit the latter throw off
much the longer tails. Norrktmen Herald.
When a young man lays siege to a
young lady, and insists upon her con
senting to become his wife, she cannot
but confess that ho is "a man after her
own heart," however heartless she may
appear. Chicago 8un.
An iceberg 110 miles long was seen by
the steamer Norseman on her way from
Liverpool to New York, and perhaps the
Arctic regions and the north pole, in order
to avoid giving us any furthor trouble, .
are coming down here. Chicago l imes. .
"My dear," said Mr. Muckleham to
his wife, " those hams I bought the other
day are so badly spoiled they cannot bo
eaten." "What a pity," his wife re
plied. "Guess we'd better send them
out to tho charity hospital." Arkaiuato ,
Traveler.
As somewhat of an inducement to ama.
tcurs we take this method of announcing
that everyone sending us a poem on
"Spring" this year will receive a pound
of dynamite done up in a beautiful sheet
of colored tissue paper. Now is the tune
to get up clubs. Chicago Heist.
A loving father at Clayton, N. Y., in
his anxiety to marry off his daughters
(fifteen in number) as quick as possible,
has killed his dog, taken the locks off his
doors, and hung rope ladders over his
dooryard by the dozen, and still his pro
vision bill is as large as ever. BitmarcJt
Triliune.
The pleasurable part: An Austin man,
who has just got out a book of poems,
met Gilhooly, and the following pro
ceedings were had : "Did you read ray
new book?" "Oh. yes, I read it." "How
did you like it?" "My dear sir, I assure
you that I laid it aside with a great deal
of pleasure." Texa Stflinya.
" If you don't marry me, " he exclaimed,
" I'll take myself out of this hated world
and I'll haunt you as loug as you live I"
Said she: "It will be more respectable
than your present haunts. Please stand a
little further off. 1 never could bear the
smell of alcohol so soon after tea. Hot
ton Trautcriiit.
' " All this hard wood you export," the
English tourist asked the Indiana lumber
man, "all this maple and beech, you
know, where does it go ?" And the man
told him that moet of it went direct to
Scotland, where it was worked up into
bo )i and churns and paper folders from
th .."terB of Burns' cottage and the home-
of.nr Walter Scott." And the tourist
said "Haw," and wrote something iu hi
note-book. llaukeye.
Over 500,000 rose tiees are annually
miported into this country from England,
Franc and Holland.