V
jr crrst ttfjJubliran
li rrnuiniD inm wt.dxbtit, m
J. 13. WENIC.
Oflias in Smearbangli ft Co.'s Bulldln
rLM STREET, TIONE3TA, PA.
1'TCllMR, SI.,ToTKTl Y1IAII.
TCo snhsrrlptinvs n ( eived for ft shorter period
tliKM threw niomh.
CTi'ci-pivtKldn.v K lirftofl from all ptirtsof tfct
eouutrv. No uoiiio wi i be tak u of anoaymou
ntimilHtif-Atintl.
THUOUail LIIIS.
We slight the gills Hint ovei y rnwuin Ixmrs,
And let them lull unliicilcd Iroin our grnp,
In our gn at engcrue-s to reiu-h and clu-p
Ilie promised trcasuro ol Iho cnmii'g roars;
Or e'se we mourn somo gi cat g oil passed
iiwny,
And in the shadow f our grief hut in,
Kelii'O the lesser goml Jet ni'ght win,
ITio oflured pence mid gladness of lo day.
So through the chambers of our life wo pass,
And lunve them one by ono, and never May,
Not knowing hmv nun li ilcHiintncH there win
In each, until the clo.-ing ol the door
Una snimdud through llio house and diod
away,
And lit our henrt wo sigh, "For evermore."
A PROUD WOMAN.
Jolm Vandor's sky had nlwnys been
cloudless, lie had seen life through a
rose-lined haze, and had walked rough
Bliod over its ipeadow bloom. Nat
urally he forgot or never knew that
somewhero and sometimes there were
sodden paths to tread; that the mead
ow bloom turned to rustling hroom
Btalks, and the nky to "under-roof of
doleful gray," Ho was sunshiny be
cause he had never peered into tho
shadows. To have a purse well-filled
without knowing who fills it, to open
your hand for a gilt of fortune and
have it drop in carelessly, to win love
Without seeking it hi short, to play
at living is pleasant occupation, but
very poor discipline. Perhaps John
Vandor was a trille selfish, in spite of
Lis inexhaustible good nature, his in
telligence, his invariable "(iood form."
Agnes Katie was the sort of girl
men call dashing women out or re
spect to their ow n preferences dare
not classify. She had dark and unread
able eyes, matched to u shade by a
profusion of crinkled hair, and set off
by long, almost curly lashes lashes
that would have made the Sistine Ma
donna a half conuelte. Her complex
ion was that rich, deep, yet perfectly
clear olive one sees more often in the
best Spanish portraits than in Ameri
can life. Prom remote nncestors she had
nerhans Snanish blood in her veins.
'Jn'flgure she was neither so tall as
Diana, nor so mature as Juno; neither
lithe or willowy described her exactly,
though either may help to indicate the
subtle somet hing in her carriage which
, made her as- graceful in movement as
In repose, in speech as in silence, in
alert attention as in self-saturated rev
erlo. Indeed, Agnes Earle would have
been almost beautiful if she had no
other charm than the wonderfully
pretty hands which had made John
Vandor fall half in love with her
when they first met, and had helped
to persuade lain that he loved her ever
after.
Vandor was not exactly handsome,
lie was fine-looking. One could not
but admire his phvsique, and one could
not help noticing, in looking him full
in tho face, that ho had brains.
These two began by liking each
other somewhat blindly and altogether
unreasonably. He liked in her the
brilliancy and dash of her style, the
suggestive fluency of her small talk,
and above all, her compelling beauty.
She liked in him a certain strength, a
certain suggestion of restrained pow
er, which seemed to underlie his ob
vious conceit and his superficial empir
icism of thinking, and she liked his
open-handedness, his big, brave ways,
his love of dogs and horses and of "all
outdoors."
These young people were second
cousins, but they had not met or
known much of each other until ho
was a man of 2(i and she a woman of
19. He had come to California for no
good reason for no reason. Ono Sat
urday afternoon, after a week of some
' comprehensive "doing" of San Fran
cisco, he walked into Richard Earlu's
. study at Berkeley, bearing a note of
introduction from Cousin Mary, who
lived in Albany, lie found a bronzed
grizzly, curt and gruff man, who scowled
him a dubious welcome without rising.
"How long have you been in the
state, young man?" asked the host.
"Just ten days two in Sacramento;
eight in San Francisco."
"Are you broke?"
"Do you mean out of funds?" asked
the guest, smiling in spite of himself.
"1 mean broke b-r-o-k-e; busted,
p'r'aps you say. Come here to bor
row?" "No, thank you. I came to pay my
respects, and wish you a very good
day."' And second cousin Vandor,
turning on his heel, quietly left the
room.
In the hall ho was arrested by the
unmistakble rustle of feminine drapery
, just in time to avoid a collision with a
1 lady.
"I beg your pardon," be said rather
jtiflly.
"Have you been quarreling with
papa?"
The young lady smiled while she
asked the question, and all the stiffness
had gone from his voice as be replied:
"Not exactly; 1 am a cousin of your
father's of yours too, by the way
arid I had come to be very civil to my
relative. Your fattier thought I had
come to borrow money."
He had forgotten his anger; forgot
ten that he ought to have been in lull
retreat.
"Como back with me, aud let me ex
plain. I'll make him apologize. Our
cousin must not go away in such a
fashion, with the afternoon sun about
to go down upon bis w rath. I don't
" wonder you wt-re angry, tut then,
'twas only father."
YOLIYl. NO. 45.
"Your cousin had much rather ac
cept the family apology from you,"
said Vandor, laughing. "However,
I'll go back and try and explain that
I'm not 'broke.' "
Agnes led tho way, and marche
straight to her fat her's side. She ben
and kissed him lightly, and then stand
lng directly In front of him, she shook
at him ono taper finger, saying, with
an inimitable drawl, "Aren't you
ashamed of yourself ?"
Why didn t ho come here at once,
then," snarled the bronzed grizzly.
Ah. ha! and that s tho reason you
send our cousin away with your awful
bluntness. Now pleaso understand.
Da" she called hiin "Da" "that I
shall permit no such high-handed act
ing. Come here, cousin, and notice
how meekly he shakes hands."
By this time both men were laugh
ing, and Agnes smiled complacently
and left the room. The second cousin
masculine shook hands and tho elder
soon became interested in news from
his old home. When Miss Earle re
entered the room, an hour later, she
saw that tho cousins were on the best
of terms with each ..ther, and judicious
ly Invited the young man to go out on
tiie porch with her and watch one of
their show sunsets. "Judiciously"
means that the wise young woman did
not intend that the others should have
a chanco to become bored with each
other.
From being a mere looker-on in Vi
enna Vandor became enamored of
"our glorious climate," and resolved.
with the calm, far-seeing discretion of
twenty-six, to invest the major portion
of his fortune in California securities.
Fortunately Richard Earle was a wise
mentor. No one knew the ins and
outs of San Francisco trade better than
he; and Vandor managed to steer clear
of Fine street, and locked most of his
money into the walls of a big bonded
warehouse. From being enamored of
our state and our climate, it was easy
enough to fall in love with ono of our
loveliest g:rls; and before their knowl
edge of each other had lasted a year,
Agnes made herself believe that she
loved him well enough to become his
wife, and all this with the full consent
of gruff llichard Earle.
At a point on the lowest shelf of the
Berkelv foothills, about midway be
tween the South Hall of the Univer
sity and tho grounds of the State In
stitute for the Deaf, Dumb and Blind
is a covered cistern, in which is gath
ered tho outflow of a dozen mountain
springs. This point is the vantage
ground of a superb outlook. To the
south, the farthest visible horizon is
marked by the rounded shoulders of
Loma Frieta, ten miles southwest of
San Jose. To the north, in the farthest
discernible distance, are the low hills
between Petaluma and Santa Rosa a
waving line of deepest indigo at the
base of tho blue sky. There are three
evenings in October and three in April,
when, looking from Berkelv, the sun
sets directly behind the Farallones,
and against its exaggerated and dis
torted disk the curious clusters of black
rocks stand out like silhouettes.
It lacked less than an hour of sunset
when Agnes climbed to tho little knoll
and stood beside the queer, cone-shaped
cistern roof. Tho fair scape of land
and sea and sky unrolled like a scroll
from her very feet, west and south and
north.
A little path meandered at an up
ward angle around a southerly curve
in the broad hillside. Along this path
came a young man, with a dog at his
heels and a gun under his arm. It was
John Vandor, trudging home from a
contraband sally after unlawful wing
shots. Agnes did not heed his ap
proach, and he leaned against the fence
scarcely a rod away, with the dog at
his feet and a cigar in his mouth.
It is idle to try and attain the im
possibleto put into accurate thinking
and tangible words tho lovlinessof that
evening scene. Looking due south,
over the apparently perfectly level of
Oakland and Almeda, thesouthern arm
of the bay, which gleams under the
morning sun like a narrow silver rib
bon that a boy might jump across, was
a river of indigo, with scarcely a visible
ripple on all its surface. A wall of
smoke arose above the houses of the
city; its base in gloom, its coping light
ed with yellow llame.
"I like it. Acnes; do you?"
Agnes turned at the sound of his
voice, and there was a truce of dissatis
fled surprise in her tones of welcome.
Tho young man would have been
dull indeed if he had not noticed, and
spiritless if he had not been piqued
"You surely don't wish to keep the pic
ture finite to yourself, do you?"
"No, it was the immediate fore
ground only that I cared to monopo
lize."
"Cared is past tense, Agnes."
"Care, then."
" 'Care then 'isn't grammar."
She looked at him disdainfully for an
instant, and then looked another way.
"You will be sorry for this some
time," the young man said, quietly but
very gravely. "If 1 have on ended you,
let me know bow; I'm always ready
enough to apologize, am 1 not.'
"Too ready."
"Too ready ?"
"Yes. I am as tired of this intermi
nable scene-making as you can possibly
be this ' kiss and make up' condition
of affairs. We are engaged; we have
exchanged vowa and rings and sophis
tries "
"Sophistries?"
"Yes: bine vte not dt-cluivd oer
ixni over again that we love WU other
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, li
above all else? . It is a an error. Each
of us loves his own way better than
sweetheart or lover. Is it not so?"
"For you, possiblyi not for me.
If she had looked more closely at
him as she spoke, she would have
noticed that his face wore an expres
sion she had never before seen, John
Vandor's forehead carried a frown as
black as tho shadows of the forest
hillsides above San Fablo, and there
was the precise sort of glitter in his
brown eyes that tho usual tlctitionist
describes ns "baleful." But she did
not notice; and when ho said, slowly
and painfully, as if every word cost
him a moment of physical pain, "Do
you want your ireedom imcK again,
Agnes? she answered mm, wiin me
defiant ring of assured proprietorship
in her lark-like voice:
"Why, yes, for a while, if you
please."
"It shall bo until you please to lire
of it." was all he said.
Ho strode down the hillside slope
without a single good-by, and she con
tinued to stand with a scornful smile,
while the afterglow faded out of the
sky. But the smile faded vith the
waning flush in the western skies, and
with the darkness came a sudden
dread a dread she had not known or
dreamed of. "Will he ever come
back?" she thought. "Will he?" she
said aloud. An obtrusive hoot-owl
screeched a shrill reply, and the proud
girl found it anything but reassuring.
She had been so sure of John Van
dor's love, had taken it so for granted,
that no daring seemed too'great. She
had thought It did not greatly matter
how courtship fared, since marriage
would be master on the morrow. She
was prepared to be .to her husband all
that a wifn ought to be; but to abate
one jot of her freedom in compliance
to her betrothed that was another
matter.
The morrow came and the to-morrow's
morrow; but John Vandor did
not come with them. One day Agnes
went to her father's study. In her eyes
wero unwonted tears. She told him
everything. Ho waited until she
stopped crying; then he said and
though the words were the words of
llichard tho Bear, the tones of his
voice had in them all the tenderness
of the father "It will serve you right
if you two never meet again; but you
will"
The whistle of the midnight loco
motive startled the echoes asleep in
the Madera freight house; in the
freight house, because there was noth
ing else in Madera big enough to
harbor an echo. First-class passengers
sleep aboard trains on the first stage
of the Yosemite trip, llichard Earle
had been asleep in his section three
hours. "What to him was the yellow
moonlight that shone on an ocean of
yellow grain? But for Richard Earle's
travelling companion there was no
sleep while that moonlight lasted. It
was to Agnes a new glamour; and or
glamour she had but little in the two
years then past. She was a proud
girl, and braver than most; but the
prolonged and unexplained absence of
her lover had been no passing grier.
If the world did not suspect, if even
her father did not fully know, the
brown eves of John Vandor would
have winced for his unforgiveness
could he have looked into hers for
glance's span. HI she was not; sad
she was not. But in her eyes was ;i
weary look that the world never no
ticed, and beneath her vigorous health
was a nervous, craving unrest that
even her father never saw.
When the train drew Up t the
station, Agnes still sat in her open
section, peering with loDging eyes into
wonderland. Halt an hour alter the
train had settled itself for the night, a
tall girl in brown linen and Cruik
sliank sunshade was walking alone
down the track towards Merced, with
her feet in the fairy light (and the
cinder dust of the uneven road-bed)
following the waning moon.
"1 wonder if it would be imprudent
as well as improper to go to sleep in
the wheat, Ruth-like and romantic i
She spoke aloud, but nothing in the
profound stillness answered her. The
moon had touched tho far horizon
silvering the crests of the west side
hills. Despite herself, the girl was a
trille tired and very sleepy.
"Are these poppies in the wheat?"
she asked herself, smiling. "What if
1 go to sleep for just five minutes, who
shall say me nay or care i
It was a long live minutes. I he
first meadow-lark staved his shrill
matins lest he should waken her; and
a tall 'young man on a piebald mare
checked his gallop with startled ab
ruptness to see a woman's figure in
linen dress, asleep or dead by the
supervisor s highway.
Tho piebald mare stood still, nib
bling the milky wheat. The youn
man approached the recumbent foMs
of linen, halt hidden under the Cruik
shank hat. Quite as a matter o
course he knelt beside her, and gently
pushed back the broad brim of tho bi
hat. The first ray of the rosy morning
fell upon the sleeping face. The eyes
of the young man opened their widest
in recognition. Then the eyes of the
voung woman opened also, only to
close again as she murmuied some
thing he could not catch. He ben
more near. Surely, it w as in a dream
she spoke:
"And you have come back to me at
! last to hear me say 1 um sorry."
i on ask. where was her woman
j piuk, that bhe g4 v back utr Ii vtUow
mm
without the asking? That, young
gentlemen and misses, is something
no one may answ er for any one ebe.
Perhaps" Richard the Bear was not
so phenomenally cool as ho looked
when he said to truant and captor an
hour later, "Where tho deuce have you
two been, anyhow?" Overland.
An Enterprising Architect.
Adjoining one end of the royal pal
ace of Naples, which is tho future
home of the Crown Prince, is the
theater of San Carlo, which has an In
teresting story. When Charles III.
was king of Naples ho issued orders
for tho most magnificent theater of
Europe to be built in the shortest time
possible. Angelo Carasale, a jn capon
tan architect, offered to complete it in
three months, and by great effort and
energy actually did so. On tho open
ing night, the king sent for the archi
tect to come to the royal balcony, and
there publicly commended his work,
adding that only one thing was lacking,
and that was a private door and stair
case leading from the palace into the
theater for the use of the royal family,
The architect bowed low, and retired
that the play might begin. When the
lay was finished, the architect again
appeared before the king, saying,
1 our Majesty s wish is accomplished,
and preceded the astonished monarch
to a private entrance in one end of the
theater. In the three hours that the
acting had engaged the king's atten
tion, the untiring architect had col
lected his workmen, and by almost
superhuman effort had completed his
ask. He had torn down partitions
and laid huge logs of wood for a stair
way; but elegant velvet carpets and
beautiful curtains concealed the rough
floors and defaced walls, while a skill
ful arrangement of handsome mirrors
and chandeliers produced a magical
effect, and made the whole seem the
work of fairy hands. Afterward, the
entrance was properly finished, and
last summer I walked from the palace
through this private door, and stood in
the royal balcony where the king had
received the architect nearly one hund
red and fifty years before. of. Atcio-
las.
The Art of Finger Nails. .
Mr Levy, tho corn cutter, has been
tellinjr me about the beginning of his
delicate art, which is now practiced so
generally. He thought that the ear
liest modern chiropodist was a German
who had practiced on tho queen or
England's corns about 1844; neverthe
less I see that Westervelt on upper
Broadway announces that he began in
1840. Zachari started hero before the
war and obtained celebrity by cutting
Mr. Lincoln's corns. Another gener
ation has come up paying special at
tention of the feet and reading all that
can be afforded on the subject. One
of the best known chiropodists here
began, it is said, doctoring the hoofs of
horses, and he observed m time that
men needed quite as much repair of the
feet. There are several women in this
business, and of late years its profits
have been much extended by manicure,
whicii brings dollars in place of dimes.
Women are often in love with their
own hands, and I have known cases
where a lady has had her hand modeled
and carved by a sculptor and kept on
her center table. Few men, however,
think fingers are improved in appear
ance by being sharpened and whitened
like the talons of a hawk. It is bow-
ever, a pleasant, listless way of spend
ing an hour or two every day, to go to
the manicure. New lurk, Inuune.
Chronic Lassitude.
There are certain characteristics
connected with a lazy man which are
admirable. They excite the twang
ing, jingling breasts ot the nervous
fidgety a feeling which borders on
respect and akin to awe. lour
double-geared fidgety man will spin
all day like a top, and run down in
the cool of the evening on identically
the same spot on which ho started
off after breakfast. The man suffering
from chronic lassitude will keep cool,
keep in the shade, put in a full day's
work, resting himself and arrive at
time at sundown, cool, calm and col
lected, without having once sweat
under the collar or laid a hair. The
professional lazy seems to eat, drink
and sleep with as much gusto and
sang froid as his fidgety brother with
the high pressure anatomy and patent
double cylinder, fast, perfecting, hy
genic apparatus, who gets hot in the
box and wears and grinds and cuts
his life away like a piece of misfit
machinery. The fact of the business
is the man of bustle wears his lifo
away for want of the oil of rest.
The lazy man just soaks along like a
handful of cotton waste in tho oil
cup of a box car axle. Scietttijic
A inerira n.
Illuminating lSuttle Fields.
An interesting night experiment has
been conducted on the race course at
Vienna, near the electrical exhibition.
The volunteers of the association for
the saving of life lit up an imaginary
battle field, in order to prove the
advantages of reflectors in finding the
wounded. The crown prince and sev
eral of the archdukes were present,
with a number of olhcers. liy means
of the great reflector of Messrs. Egger,
placed above the entrance door ol tho
rotunda, some GO medical students
lying about, representing wounded
men. were picked up, 100 members of
the volunteer fire brigade tran -porting
them to tl.e wagons, in lev; Uuiu a
quarter yf uu hour.
$1.00 PER ANNUM.
"When His Heart Thawed Out."
Ono day two or three years ago a
gruff old man, hard-hearted and given
to drink, and living alone In a bouse
on Gratiot street, found a crippled boy
nine or ten years of age crying in front
of his door. It was his way to curse
children and drive them away, but in
this Instance he spoke kindly to the lad,
and even sympathized with him. For
that once his hardened heart seemed
to thaw out, and men who noticed his
kind action wondered greatly.
Bv and by tho crippled boy, Known
as Jakie, seemed to grow into the old
man's heart and spent hours with him
at his house. He was, so lar as any
one could remember, the first and only
human being to say a kind word for
gruff old Ben.
When the old man leu sick a iew
weeks iieo nobody missed him for sev
eral days. Indeed, no one cared much
whether he was sick or wen, nut some
one interested himself enough to dis
cover that the sick man was being
nursed by the cripple. The days and
nichts must have been terribly lone
some to the lad, but he was faithful to
the last. The other morning he
quietly announced to the neighbors
that old Ben was dead. Those who
went in found the rooms in neat order,
the dead man lying as if asleep, and
the money to bury him was safe in an
old wallet In the bureau, w nen iney
asked Jakie about it he explained :
"He died as easy as a baby. Long
at first he used to curse and swear
about his sickness, but after a while
he let me read the Bible to him, and
sometimes I saw tears in his eyes."
"Folks thought him a hard man."
"But he wasn't "When his heart
thawed out he was like a child. One
day I brought him from the chest a
lot of old letters, the photograph oi a
woman and baby, and he cried over
them. I guess they were dead, and I
guess he had had lots of trouble."
"Did he die easy t
"Just like going to sleep," answered
the lad. It was just at daylight. I
sat by the bed and had fallen asleep
when he put out his nana ana wnis
pered : 'Jakie, I'm dying I' "With that
I jumped up to uo someining, dui no
said it was too late. There was a great
change in him. All the hardness had
gone out of his lace, ins eyes naa a
kind look, and the boys who used to be
afraid of him wouldn't have known
him for the same man. I was reading
to him from the old Bible, when all at
once his fingers let go of my hand and
he was dead."
"And then?"
The boy turned away and wept.
From the day gruff old Ben had ad
dressed him a kind word the prayers
of a child pleading for a wicked man
had been heard In Heaven, lie naa
prayed for him in life and after death,
and if the prayer had not urougni uvm
peaceful look to the white, dead face,
what else could have done it? Free
Press.
What May Be Hone With One Acre.
One acre of ground in lawn and
garden is sufficient to maintain a
family cow in any village or rural
locality, says an exchange. One who
knows how it is done, and has done it
for several years, describes the method
by which it is accomplished : " A
quarter of an acre is in garden straw'
berries, currants, grapes, raspberries,
blackberries and gooseberries. There
are six apple trees and fourteen pear
trees. All but the garden is in grass,
chiefly- orchard grass. I am already
feeding down a small piece of orchard
grass under some apple trees the third
time by tethering the cow upon it.
Some of the grass I have just cut the
RHcond time, and some will give a
third cutting. Fifty rows of sweet
corn for table use are now beginning
to yield boiling ears, and the stalks
and husks go to tho cow. There are
pea vines, bean vines, beet tops, small
potatoes and other wastes to help feed
the cow luxuriously, and in this way
the family cow may be kept in abund
ance throughout the year upon one
acre, while her manure will keep the
whole acre growing richer every year,
and will provide a liberal quantity for
the flower beds and the snruus, ana
dwarf-pears on the lawn. A very
large quantity of the best manuro is
made by throwing the weeds with an
the soil attached to them, tho leaves
that are raked up, and the wood ashes
from the house, together with as much
soil as may bo needed, into a pit in the
cowyard, and leading the drainage
from the manure into it. If a farm
were only managed as one manages
the garden, every acre might easily
pay ilOO ; but the labor is not to be
had, and one pair of hands cannot do
it for more than live or six acres. But
the time will come when it must be
done; when the land becomes fully
occupied, and this great country has
its r.00,000,000 of inhabitants, a number
which it can sustain with the greatest
ease, with a thorough system of cum
vation."
She Had Changed Her Opinion.
"O, you dear, good mother ! " chirped
Birdie Mcllennepin, "do you reany
mean to sav that I can marry Gus Du
Smith?"
"1 do," replied Mrs. Mcllennepin
"You have my full consent.
"But, mamma, you said only yester
day that you couldn't bear him," pur
sued the daughter.
" ell, 1 have got something like an
eighty-one tor grudge against him
mid for ill at er.v reason 1 have tvu
wl tided, to bvvoiue bis luutuer-iQ-law,"
XIATES UF ADVERTISING.
One Square, one inch, one insertion... W 0
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Quarter Column, one year 80 CO
Half Column, one year ,5215
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I.esnl notices f t established rites.
Mim-inae ami death notices, trrntis.
All riilU for yearly advertisements colleetedl
quarterly. Temporary Advertisement must
be paid in advance.
Job work, cash on delivery.
BLACK BIRCH.
Are there Week bird, trees' ogrowlng la the
far-ofl woods, I wonder,
With a wedth of balmy ecnca In then
branches lithe nn4 BlmnRi
Ir the epiinjr-time do the children rgich wilk
enter han Jb lo plunder, w
Wlilte the quiet woodland arches ring wil
lnugh and ihout an 1 song.
I can see en old pry ehoolhoue with a ledger
and wod beside It,
And the rumbled, mossy pasture-land runs
close tip to its door j
While awsy buck in the greenness, with a tuft
of fern to hide it ,
And a flash like purest crystal, a spring tab
bies and runs o'er.
There's a battered tin.cnp hanging on droop
ing bough close by it,
Where Uie sunlifiht comes in flickers and tbs
shadows (,'ailier dim.
Oil, the rush ot childish footsteps when at re
cess time they spy it!
Ob, tho flash ol cooling water! Oh, the worm
lips at its biim!
Then the pulling at tho birches, Ihe delightiul
swish and rustle,
And the crackling of the tender twigs, th ,
noisy bursts of glee;
When the sharp rap on the window calls oh, ,
what a tnerrv tussle
In the filling-out ol pockeU so that no sharp
eye may see!
The dark room grows strongly cheerlnl as th
little smugglers gather,
And a spicy, woodsy irugrance penetrates its
dinpy nooks.
Ah, how sly the rodents nibble, while they
make a vain endeavor
To appear absorbed in Waning from the wis
dom of their books!
When the daily tasks are ended, and, with
dinner-baskets swaying.
All the little folks bound homeward, and too
house is left in gloom,
Then across the teacher's weary face a pleas
ant smile is stray irg
As she brushes out .he litter with her clumsy
hemlock broom.
HUMOR OF TIIE DAY.
Although the lower animals cannot
talk, they are nearly all tail-bearers
Oil City Blizzard.
Candor. Insulted Gentleman: "You
are indebted to my cowaruiue, you
young scoundrel, that I don't knock
you down. rucK.
There is a man in Pittsburgh so fond
of "flash" literature that he won't read
anything but a powder magazine.
Pittsburgh Telegraph. -
A beautilul maid in Bismarck,
When the lamp was turned down for a spark,
Smuggled up to her Fred,
And tremblingly said,
"I always fcol skeered in the dark!"
A Burlington boy Bent for a fifty
cent watch, and received a sun-dial
He has named it "Faith." because
faith without works is dead. Frea
Press.
There is a tenement house in New
York in which are 110 families. Those
living next to the roof boast of their
belonging to the upper 110. Boston
Transcript.
A scientific writer says the American
to-day is not the bilious man of fifty
years ogo. No! The bilious man of
fifty years ago succumbed to the doc
tors long ere this. Boston Post.
Let us have more cream pie. Could
anything be simpler than the follow
ing recipe, which we clip from an
exchange: "TaKe creatn euougn iu uu
a dish, add eggs and flavor to the
taste."
Matthew Arnold was, it is stated,
surprised at not being met in New
York by Indians. If the Indians had
ever read any of his poetry they would
have doubtless met him there. Ar
kansaio Traveler.
Smith (ruffled): "Hello, Jones: I'm
glad to see you." Jones, pretending
not to recognize Smith for fear h'd
tap him for a loan: "My dear sir. you
have the advantage of me." "les,
most any one has who possesses" ordi
nary intelligence." The Hoosier. '
Who was that man who just
passed?" said Blinks to his friend,
with whom he was walking down
town. "Y'ou mean the one who called
me bv my first name? "l es; rather
familiar, I should say." "Oh, that's
nothing strange ; he's my barber."
Lowell Citizm.
"Give me," said the schoolmaster,
a sentence in which the words a
burning shame' are properly applied.
Immediately the bright boy at the
head of tho class went to the black
board and wrote: "Satan's treatment
of the wicked is a burning shame."
Ph iladelph ia Ch ron iele.
It is very often that you see a young
lady turn around to see w hat a iatiy
friend has on when mey pass ou me
street. But about tho only man who
takes the trouble to wheel around ana
look at a fellow pedestrian is the tailor
who is anxious to get a glimpse or mo
creditor who is airing one of his hung
up suits.- Yonhers titatrsman.
"Gracious, Henry! exclaimed an
Austin lady to her husband, "you
didn't drink all that bottle of claret
alone, did you?" "Alone, darling:
replied Henry. "Oh, no; I didn't driDk
it alone. 1 had just taken two toddies
and a rum punch before I tackled the
claret. 1 thought tho claret itself
might be a little lonesome." Texas
Hitings.
Wife, to husband: "I want you to
give John a good scolding this morn
ing, dear." Husband: "A good scold
ing! Why, my dear, I have no fault
tofind with "John. Isn't he a good,
faithful servant?" Wife: "Yes. be is
a good enough servant and all that,
but I want him to beat a lot of eat pet,
and he won't do it half hard enough
if he is not rk'ht mad " PUhnMphi
Cult.