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VOL. 171. NO. 42.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, If
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
A COOD:BYE,
Farewell I How soon unmeaunr4 distance
roll
Its leaden clouds betwoon our parted souls I
How litte to each other now aro w
And once how nmoh I dreamed we two might
be I
I, who now rtand with eyes undimraed and
dry
To say good-bye.
To any goodby to all sweet memories,
ImJ A ' .t L It
vvmj-ujw w TOiiuui IJUUSIIUIIS, ttom replies;
Good bye to hoj, good-bye to drumiing, too,
Good-bye to all things dear good-bye to you.
Without a tear, a prayer, a sigh
Our last good-bye.
I had no chain to bind you with at all;
No grace to charm, no beauty to enthrall.
No power to hold your eyes with mine, and
make
Your heart on fire with longing for my taket
Till all the yearnings presed into one cry s
"Love, not good-bveI"
Ah, no I had no strength like that, you
know;
Yet my worst weakness was to lore you so I
Bo much too well ho much too well or ill
Yet even that might have been pardoned
still'
It would have been had I been you you 1 1
But now gofti-bye.
How soon the bitter follows on the sweet I
Could I not chain your foncy's flying feet f
Could I not hold your soul to make you
play
To-morrow In the key of yesterday f
Doar do you dream that I would stoop to
' try-
Ah, no good bye I
Argosy.
ONLY AUNT MARGERY.
"Girls! I have sflhie news for you 1
Grand news it is, but pnpa told mo not
to mention it, so if I tell you, you will let
it go no further?" and Connio Stcadman
glanced round at her friends, feeling her
self an important personage, as the youth
ful possessor of a secret usually does.
" Oil, trust us, Connie, we won't say a
single word to any one ; wc will be as dumb
as mutes on the subject," exclaimed
Kate Dcrwent ; and her sister Mary, and
their cousin, Edith Salter, who had come
in like Constance for a morning chat,
made tlse required asscvervation, and tho
quartetto drew their chairs close, in do
i lightful anticipation.
"Well, then, pnpa told us yesterday
evening but, Katie, there is some one
in the other room," and Connio glanced
through tho half-open curtains into the
large drawing-room, at the further end
of which sat a lady engaged in some
quiet occupation.
" Only Aunt Margery," answered Katie;
"she is copying some music for us, and
won't hear if you speak low. Now do.
dear Connie, get on with your story, for
i am uying wnn impatience."
"Well, then, tho house on tho hill is let
to a single gentleman. Mr. Maurice
Chester, very nice-looking, very rich, who
intends to come and live in it himself, and
give no end of nice parties and bulls, I
expect, for he asked pnpa if there was
good society in tho neighborhood, as lie
would not like to settle down in a dull
place. Of course pupa gave him a good
report of tho laud, in thnt and every
other respect, and so ho decided totako
the bouse, llo will come here next month,
to superintend the fitting up, etc."
"Oh, how glorious 1" cried Mary, clap-
Sing her hands; "now we shall have fun.
ut, Connie, is he young, though?"
. "Oh, yes, about thirty, papa thought, "
answered Conine, rather doubtfully.
"Thirty? Why, he is quite old!" said
Mary, disgusted, from a seventeen-year-old
point of view. "Why, ho will do for
Aunt Margery we always call her an old
maid, ana he is an old bachelor Ji'
"Nonsense Mary, what stuff foil talk,"
said Kate, who, being threo-and-twenty,
tooK a dilierent view of the matter,
"Thirty is not old for a man.. You only
care for bovs, like George Burden."
Mary blushed. "But you would not ex
pect him to buy a houso and estate, like
this gentleman. The only thing is is he
engaged, uonnier '
"Ah, that I can't tell vou, unfortunately.
I asked papa, and he said very likely, he
hadn't asked him ; but mamma, thinks not,
because he would certainly have brought
the lady to see her future home, if he bad
been," said Connie.
"Your mamma is right, Connie; ho cer
tainly would huve done so," sidd Kate, de
cidedly. And then followed quite an hour's dis
cussion about tho new comer, in tho height
of which, Connio herself, as well as tho
other two, quite forgot the need of secrecy.
and tho lady so quietly occupied in the
other room must have been very deaf not
to have heard all tho conversation.
Bhe took very little notice of it.howcver ;
the girls made just as much commotion if
they met a new faco at a dinner-party, or
were introduced to a strange partner at a
Doll, lor juaundbury was such a quiet
place, and so miserably short of masculine
society, except the old and married, that
any chance acquaintance even caused quite
a flutter among tho marriageable ladies.
How, then, could tho news of a permanent
resident inn to aiiect them?
It is said that at no uge does a woman
give up the hope of marriage, but I must
say at the risk of being disbelieved, that
no thoughts of the matter ever caused Mar
gery Derwent's pulse an extra flutter.
If her niece Kate had grown to the ago
of twenty-three, beautiful and attractive
as sho was, with only lovers " who loved
and rode away," there seemed little
chance for her, Aunt Margery, witli the
faded looks and quiet manners that sor
row, and loss, and tliirty years of life had
dowered her with, to be more fortunate.
Margery had had her love-dream, but it
had faded with tho lots of her father and
all her fortune, except a small sum which
taut found her in clothes, whilo her
brother insisted upon her making Us
house hethome. At first Mrs. Dcrwent
objected, but then finding Margery very
useful to call up in the night in case of
sudden illness, to help take care of tho
children, and to make herself generally
useful, as poor relations are expected to
do, sho ceased to grumble, and Mar
gery found herself seMjcd at Dcrwent
house, with a ort of half-recognition in
society, the back sent of the carriage,
the coldest place at tho fireside always
hers, in return for being constantly at
every ono s dock and call.
bho had never been a beauty, but she
had been pretty and lively, and much
sought after in society when she was the
only darling of a rich man, and at first
the change had been very bitter to her,
but of late she had grown passively re
conciled to her lot. Ten years of the
same unvarying round had quite driven
from her mind any hope of change. She
was " only Aunt Margery" to her nieces
and all their giddy circle of young ac
quaintances, and had quite resigned her
self to remain so to the end of the
chapter.
So she took little or no interest in the
flutter of preparation caused among the
girls by the coming of tho eligible bachelor,
though, withiicr customary amiability, she
was always rsjdy with her advice and as
sistance in matters of tho toilet, which
were to help captivate him when he came.
1 he girls had persuaded JUrs. Dcrwent
to give a small evening party the week
after his arrival, and as that lady had seen
and approved of him as a " capital match
for Kato," they had very little difficulty in
getting their own way in the matter and
arranging it on a scale of grandeur never
before seen at Maundbury, except at the
stately parties given once a year at my Lord
Maundbury's own house, at which royalty
was sometimes present.
But 1 doubt if even royalty's own
gracious presence could have made that
party more successful ; it served for a sub
ject of conversation for a long timo after
ward. Maurice Chester made himself so
agreeable, and proved to be such an ad-
mirablo hand at arranging improptu
charades, playing on his violin, dancing,
singing and talking, that he was unani
mously voted the success of the evening,
and his coming into the neighborhood
was considered an unqualified gain by both
old and young.
1 ho quiet little sleepy town of Maund
bury went nearly mad over him, and num
berless were the dinners, balls, and even
ing parties given in his honor during the
next tour months.
Tho name of Maurice Chester win in
every mouth; he was voted "a drilling,"
"a gem," by the ladies, and a "brick,"
and a "jolly good fellow," by their
brothers. He was so dark and sunburned
that he looked his thirty-five years, but
then he was tall and handsome, with no
ble features and winning manners, and all
the young ladies envied Kato Dcrwent,
who being tho most beautiful and accom
plished lady in the circle, would natural
ly stand the best chance of winning such
a prize.
Mrs. Dcrwent had ascertained that he
was not engaged. Ho had been, in his
early youth, but the lady, a clergyman's
daughter, had died of a fever caught
through visiting the poor, on the eve of
their marriage, and he had seen no one
since that he wished to put in her place.
This interesting information being speed
ily circulated, made him more popular
than ever quite a hero of romance, in
fact.
"And mamma says that is very likely
tho reason he is so gentlo and attentive to
ladies why, he is quite as nice to her
and other married ladies as to us young
ones, and did you notice? the other
evening he actually danced with Aunt
Margery 1"
Which last exploit of the hero was evi
dently considered an unnecessary waste
of his good offices by Miss Dcrwent.
bull less did she approve of his next
proceeding, which was to send to Lon
don for two songs which Aunt Margery
happened to mention had been her favor
ites long ago, but which she had lost
through lending tham to an acquaintance.
Ult is all very well, you know, Connie,"
shoTjaid, in a confidential talk with that
unfailing sympathizer. "I like him to
bo kind and attentive to the poor old
thing, but really that is carrying things a
little too far she might expect tho same
attention when we are married, which I
shall certainly not permit."
"You think ho really means something,
then, Kate? Ho has not proposed yet?"
' 'No, but mamma says he is sure to do so
soon. V by, he is here nearly every day,
on some pretext or other, and what else can
ho come for? Beside, don't you know that
ho- has arranged a grand picnic to Cam
forth ruins? Mamma says', sho is certain
ho will ask me then ; so, if you see us walk
ing off together, you will keep off all in
truders, will you not?"
"I will certainly remember that two are
company, but three none," answered Con
nie, laughing. ,
She could afford to be good-natured, for
sho was engaged to a handsome young
lieutenant, the only son of the rector, and
would be married on his return from hie
next voyage.
The day of. the picnic arrived. The
weather was superb, and everybody was in
high spirits, except tho originator of tho
holiday. At starting he looked pale, and
his manner was pre-occupied and nervous,
unlike his usual bright, genial self. Mrs.
Dcrwent and her daughter exchanged
glances; Kate's was triumphant, and she
saw herself, in imagination, returning
home tho promised bride of the rich and
popular Maurice Chester, of ChesterGrove,
as he had renamed his splendid home.
By tho time they arrived at their desti
nation, Maurice had quito recovered his
usual spirits, and was soon rowing Kate
and some other gay young friends on the
lake, while Aunt Margery walked quietly
along ita margin alone and rather sad, for
she could not but recall, us the sound of
their merry laughter came to her from the
water, her own bright youth, when khe
had been surrounded by love and friend
ship, as Kate was now. She felt a little
hurt, too, that Mr. Chester had not offer
ed her a seat in the boat; it was not like
his usual kind thoughtfulncss for all,
which she had so constantly admired in
him.
"Ah, well, I am only Aunt Margery to
him, I supposo. I dare say I look forty,
at least, beside Kate," sho thought.
But it was not in her nature to spend
long in repining. Sho was soon engaged
in a merry hunt through the maze with
the younger members of the party, and
when tho rowing-party returned, shouts
of "Auntie, where areyou?" "This way,
Johnnie !" "Take the path to the right 1"
"Keep round to the left I" "Oh, I am
lost I" resounded through tho usually si
lent ruins.
Presently Margery found a gap in the
hedge, whigk sho plunged through, call
ing on Reggie, her youngest nephew, to
follow her.
"I'm coming. Aunt Margery; wait a
moment 1" he cried.
But, willing to give him a good chase,
Margery sped on, and presently found
herself in a small stone grotto, in which
the path unexpected terminated, and
shut in on either side by masses of tangled
bushes and underwood. Breathless, she
sat down on a little worm-eaten wooden
bench, and waited for Reggie.
Footsteps soon were heard on tho leaf
strewn path, and, springing out, intend
ing to give Reggie a start, Margery flew
right into the arms of Maurice Chester.
Kate hersclef could not have blushed
more vividly than did Margery at this
unlooked-for visitor to her retreat,nor, had
it been Kate, would Maurice have looked
more embarrassed, or have had a brighter
look of pleasure on his handsome face
directly after.
"Pray, excuse mo, Mr. Chester; I
thought you were Reggie," exclaimed
Margery, who, woman-like, was the first
to recover herself.
"Well, Miss Dcrwent, I really think
you owe mo some apology for so nearly
knocking me downl What sort of a
place is this !" he continued, coolly look
ing around him, and not offering to re
linquish the hand he had caught when
Margery darted out upon him.
"It is a very nice place. 1 thinK we
will go back, Reggie cannot find me,"
said Margery, blushing more deeply, ana
trying to withdraw her hand.
"I don't want Reggie or any one else
to find you just now, though I am only
too glad I havo done so," answered Mau
rice, and he gently drew her back to the
grotto. " Come and sit down just for a
few moments; I have something to tell
you."
Margery's face grew pale again, and
with a gentle, yet dignified movement,
she withdrew her hand.
' "He is going to tell me that he loves
Kate, and wishes to marry her," she
thought. And with another sigh for her
own vanished youth, when love, and joy,
and a happy marriage had lain within
tho limits of a sweet probability for hex
future life, she seated herself to listen.
It was strange how the commonplace
civilities sho had received from the man
now before her had seemed to reawaken
the - hopes and thoughts of that time
which had for so long seem buried. But
he, too, began to speak of a buried past,
and she resolutely put aside her own
thoughts; and listened with an interest
in the speaker that bred in her a vague
alarm. What was Maurice Chester to
her, she tremblingly asked herself, that
his tones should thrill her?
"Ten years ago, Miss Dcrwent, I was
engaged to be married, and I can truly
say that no two people could haye loved
each other with a truer devotion, or have
seen before them the prospects of more
happiness than my poor Marion and I. But
she was taken from me, and the blow
was cruel indeed. For years I have
mourned her, and I never hoped to be
gay and happy again, until a happy fate
sent me to Maundbury, where I have seen
one whose sweet self-forgetfulness and
gentle care for others awakened my ad
miration, and has now won the love of
my later manhood. Margery, dear gentle
Margery, will you accept the gift? I will
try to make your life happy and free
from care, and I shall think myself
blessed at last if you will give mo your
sweet self in return."
Ho was standing before her now, and
speaking with rapid, eager utterance,
whilo Margery could only stammer out: .
"Mr. Chester I I you surprise me.
I thought my niece Kate "
"Kato is a very charming girl, and I
hope will some day meet with a husband
worthy of her. But my answer, Mar
gery?" What could Margery say? Looking up
into the handsome face and loving eyes
!ent over her, sho said words that to
both of them were as binding as the mar
riage vows which a few months later, to
the chagrin of Mrs. Dcrwent and Kate,
and tho astonishment of all Maundbury,
they uttered at the parish church, on a
lovely spring morning.
Maurice Chester w as supremely happy
in his choice, whilo his wife was "only
Auut Margery" no longer.
Longer Life.
The London Times says: Englishmen,
as a rule, live two years, Englishwomen
three and a half years, longer than their
parents did. They consumo more lux
uries than heretofore. Serious crime with
an increased population is less than it
was. The number of dejwsitors in sav
ings banks has increased in the space of
thirty years from 420.000 to 4,140,000;
and for one member of a co-operative
society twenty years ago there are now
SIX.
In the trial of a will case in Baltimore
a witness testified that a protuberance as
large as a walnut appeared upon the fore
head of the testatrix, upon her being de
prived of liquor, and disappeared again
when she was supplied with her custom
ary stimulant.
SELECT SIFTINGS.
A man breathes about eighteen times
a minute, and uses about 3,000 cubic
feet of air per hour.
A pair of knitted sock 2,000 years old
has been discovered in an Egyptian
tomb. They aro loosely knit of fine
sheep's wool, and the foot is finished in
two parts to allow the sandal strap to
pass botween them.
Tho Burmans believe that when a man
is critically sick the best thing to do is
to give the patient a mixture of every
thing in the medicine chest. The result
of this theory is that protracted illnesses
are not common in Burmah.
Recent experiments in German schools
have shown that the difficulty of reading
black letters on a white ground compared
to that of reading white on a black
ground is as 421 to 496, and, therefore,
the slate and the blackboard will proba
bly fall into disuse in the empire.
"Old Q," tho Duke of Queensbury, '
during the later years of his life, kept a
servant mounted on a pony at the curb
stone. At a signal from "Old Q," hen
any one passed that he wished to see and
talk with, or wished to know more of,
the menial cantered off in pursuit.
At the trial in Chicago of one dis
orderly person for stabbing another in
an opium-den, the complainant was a
Chinaman, the defendant an Irish
woman, the prosecuting attorney an
American, the defendant's counsel an
African, and the policeman who made
the arrest a German.
Near tho mouth of the Little Cheyenne
River, in Dakota, is a rock with curious
indentations. It is twelve feet long by
seven or eight wide, and rises above the
surface of the ground about eighteen in
ches. Its edges are angular, its surface
flat, and it shows lilo effect of ice ac
tion. It appears to be magnesian lime
stone, and its whiteness makes it a con
spicuous object. On the surface are sev
eral deep and perfect footprints, . as
though made by the left moccasined foot
of a woman or boy. It is known to the
Indians as a religious rock, and they wor
ship it.
An Oriental writer has recently given
an interesting description of an ancient
burial in the Chinese empire. It was the
custom of tho wealthy man to procure
his coffin when he reached the age of
forty. . He would then have it painted
three times a year, with a composition
resembling silicate paint or ennmel, which
formed an exceedingly hard coating,
The process of making this paint is one
of the lost arts of China. If the owner
lived long enough, the frequent painting
each coat being of considerable thick
ness caused it to assume tho appearance
of a sarcophagus, with a foot or more of
this hard, stone-like shell. After death
the veins and cavities of the person's
stomach were filled with quicksilver, for
the purpose oi preserving the bodv. A
piece of jade would then be placed in
each nostril and in one hand, whilo a
piece of bar-silver would be placedin the
other hand. The body thus prepared
was placed on a layer of quicksilver
within the comn : the latter was scaled,
and the whole deposited in its linal rest
ing-place.
A Chapter on Flies.
You can sometimes catch a baseball on
a fly.
The most irritating fly is the Spanish fly,
The Latin name for a certain kind of fly
is tempus fugit.
Flies aro always on hand early in the
morning.
You have all seen a kite fly.
Some flies are always in jail.
Longfellow speaks of a fly as a bird,
.-when ho says : "Fly proud bird of free
dom."
You can draw a fly with a drop of
molasses better than with a crayon.
We have often seen flies handcuffed,
Flies make a point where business is
concerned.
At the boarding-house tablo did you
ever see the first new butter-fly of the
season?
Some people employ tho blind to keep
flies from tho room.
The spider is the only creature which
invites the ilv to his uarlor.
A conjugal quarrel is a promoter of
hair-lues.
Stage flies are painted, time flies wholly
unadorned by art.
A fly is conservative in his reading, he
alwavs sticks to his own paper.
Butchers and grocers exhibit flies on
their windows.
You can't drown a fly in the milk of
human kindness.
When you "darn a fly" you do not
need a needle and worsted.
Although flies don't stay long in ono
place, they always carry a trunk.
There arc musical flies. People often
speak of that base tly.
When you see a kito fly, it is not cruel
to stick a pin in it. Luther U. Itris.
A Greeley Story.
Horace Grcoley, although he "took the
papers," was once sought to be victimized
at the well-worn "dropped-pocketbook"
game. The man who picked up the book,
plethoric with bogus money, right ut Mr.
Greeley's feet, was compiled to go out of
town immediately to his sick wife, and
begged the loan of $50 in advance of tho
award which surely would be offered if
Mr. Greeley would keep the book. Mr.
Greeley consented, and only saved him
self by taking the 50 out of the book.
The man remonstrated. "It will not do
to touch that money," ho said; "you lmd
better givo me $50 out of your own
pocket." "Bless my soul, my friend,"
exclaimed tho innocent Horace, "I never
carried as much money as that with ine
iu my life !" The inuu impatiently snatched
the book out of Mr. Greeley's Wuds and
hurriedly left to visit his tick wife.
Am Yirb Wvrld.'
A RIVAL OF ROTIISCniLD.
AH AUKTBAUAJT WHO XS WORTH
TWO HUNDRED BULLIONS.
How rl firnnt Wcnlth Wnm Ainnnsrd
I.ivins; in a House that tout
1,000,000 Ilii. llcnevolcncc.
About forty-six years ago, says a Mel
bourne . correspondent, a farmer named
Clarke left tho shores of England for
Tasmania, for the purpose of farming,
taking with him considerable capital, and
being, in addition,- a remarkable judge of
sheep and cattle. He appears to have
failed in that island, and as tho Tasma
nians were forming a new settlement on
the shores of the great Australian conti
nent, near Port Philip, ho determined
to try his fortune there. Where the queen
city of tho south, Melbourne, with its
400,000 inhabitants, now stands was
then a waste, inhabited by the savages
and the kangaroo. Clarke at this period
received from a distant Tclativo a consid
erable sum of money, which ho immedi
ately invested in land in the vicinity
of Melbourne, then called "Baregrass."
As the colonial government of New South
Wales granted special surveys or 80,uuu
acres at the uniform price of five shillings
per acre, Clarke immediately invested his
legacy in one of these immense blocks,
and thus laid the foundation of his gi
gantic fortune. This was in 1840, and
for several years he continued to farm
and to take up sheep and cattle stations
in ine luen umnuauueu rcgiuua u Aus
tralia Felix, now the colony of Victoria.
He alwavs attended the government land
sales, and bought largely in tho Ballarat
districts, where the richest gold mines in
Australia are situated, the discovery oi
gold at Mount Alexander and Ballarat
increased his growing wealth, as ho ex
acted rigidly a tribute or royalty for per
mission to mine on his coveted lands, and
he thus obtained immense sums.
Never were riches more worthily
bestowed. He continued till the
timo of his death, 1804, to buy
lands, sell merino wool and deal in
cattle. His son succeeded to this vast
inheritance, which comprised at his
father's death, 2,500,000 merino sheep,
300,000 cattle, and nearly 3, 000, 000 acres
of freehold lands, and a leasehold of
crown lands equal in area to that of Eng
land. The probate duty paid to the va
rious colonial governments was calcula
ted on an estate valued at $50,000,000,
though that was not more than half its
real value. His son, the prcsojit Lord
Rupertswood, has by his care and atten
tion quadrupled this vast fortune. W hen
the Duke of Edinburgh and the sons pf
tho Prince of Wales visited Australia,
they were feasted right royally at Ru
pertswood, the family seat, and Queen
Victoria created him Baron Rupertswood,
of Rupertswood, in the colony of Victo
ria, and a peer of the United Kingdom.
Without any exaggeration, tho Australian
is worth $200,000,000, and the influx of
population is adding daily to his wealth.
His generosity is unbounded. The
charitable institutions of Melbourne and
the colonics owe him a great debt of grat
itude for his liberality. Rupertswood,
the seat of this bucolic Australian, is su-
perb,aud can compare with any residence
in the old or new yorld, its estimated
cost being $4,000,000.
Authors Makln? Work for Paper
Mills.
The author who writes a few volumes
does more for tho manufacture of paper,
for the increase of printing, and toward
the furnishing of work to many men than
we have any idea of until tho conse
quences of his authorship are reduced to
definite facts. An illustration from one
extreme comes from tho most prolific
author, tho elder Dumas. He declared
at one time: " During the past twenty
years I have composed 400 volumes and
thirty-five dramas. Of these 400 volumes,
on the average, 4,000 copies were pub
lished, realizing a total of about $2,150,
000. The thirty-five plays, each of
which was performed 100 times, brought
me in $1,250,000." lie thon stated how
much his volumes had brought in to the
various classes of persons engaged in
their publication and circulation, and his
plays to persons connected with theatres,
und concluded with this calculation:
"Tho daily wages being fixed at about
cixty-threo cents, and there being 300
working days in the year, my books havo
for twenty years given wages to GU2 per
sons. My plays have for ten yeurs af
forded a livelihood for 347 persons in
Paris. Tho number in tho provinces
being fixed at thrice as many, the total is
1,041; added to these, seventy box-openers,
applauders, etc., I have employed 1,
458 persons." It would be interesting
also to know how many tons of paper
have been used in publishing tho works
of this author. No doubt a paper mill
of ordinary size would have to run many
years to make it. Paper World.
A Question of Antecedents.
"You know, ma, that in Philadelphia
people always ask who one's grandfather
was, and as I am going there soon you
must tell me. ' as my grandfather a
judge, or a governor, or a president, or
anything?"
"Well, no, my dear. Ho became very
rich, though, and you may say ho had
something to do with banks."
"But what was his profession or trade?"
"Oh, never mind about that."
"But these Philadelphia people will
ask me, you know."
"Well, the only trade he ever learned
was shoemaking."
"Shoemakingl Oh, well, ho got rich,
so that is all right."
"Yes; ha mado shoes a great many
years. He learned the trade and worked
at in a penitentiary, but you need not
mention that." tLUadelplAn Cull.
Great cry aud little wool A new born
hunb.
FOR THOSE WHO FAIL.
"AH hon.ir to him who shall win the prine."
Tlio world she has cried for a thonsAQ
years,
But to him who trie and who fails a d dies
I've great honor and glory and teari.
Give glory and honor and pitiful tears
To all who fail in their dejd sublime,
Their ghosts are many in the van of yeirs,
They are born with Time in advai o of
Time.
Oh. great is the hero who wins a name,
But grea'er manv and many a time
Some pale-faced fellow who diai in shame
And lots God finish the thought sub'imfl.
And great is the man with a sword undrawn.
And good is tho man who refrains from
wine; ' '
But the man who fai'n and yet flghti on,
Lo, ho is the twin-born brother of mine.
Joaquin Miller.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"I'll make an oat of that," is what the
farmer said when planting his seed.
Statesman.
The dictionary is not as big as the
postoffice, but it contains more letters to
the square inch. JV'ew York Journal.
"Your little boy appears to be particu
larly lively, madam." "Oh, yes," re-
sponded the lady, sweetly, "he thinks
he is in church." The Judge.
A mole on tho nose indicates thnt a .
man will be a great traveler probably
to get out of the way of people who
make personal remarks. Lowttt Citizen.
A young man who dropped in unex
pectedly upon his girl, the other evening,
found her In tears. Poor thing, she had
been peeling onions. Philadelphia Chron
icle. Littlo George was questioned the other
dav about his big sister's beau. "How
old is he?" "I don't know." "Well, is
ho young?" "I think so, for ho hasn t
any hair on his head." Boston Courier.
JUST LIKE A KAN.
A man is very like a gun,
That fact p ease ti-y to fix;
For if he finds he's charged too much,
Why, that's the time he kicks.
Yonkert Statesman.
"Do you play by the ear? I see you
don't require notes," said a Fort Wayne
gentleman to a musician of the city or
chestra. "No, sir," was tho reply, "I
play by the night and require bank
notes." The Uoosier.
Be gentle in the family. Oh, always
e gentle. Above all make the boys be
gentle. If we had a family of boys we
should compel them to be gentle, if we
had to wear out every barrel stave in the
shed. Rockland Courier.
It is said an Arizona judge resigned
from the bench to become a hotel waiter.
The judicial ermine may satisfy a man's
vanity, but it does not always till the void
created by tho want of three square rea!s
a day. jfew Orleans Picayune.
There was a man in town who thought
him wondrous wise. He swore by all the
fabled gods he'd never advertise. His
goods were advertised ere long, and there
by hangs a tale the ad. was set in non
pariel and headed "Sheriff Sale."
"Zampilaerostationist" is tho namo
which some one says is tho correct one to
apply to a roller skater. This will make
the exercise more dangerous than ever,
for if one falls on that name it will break
every bone in his body. Oil City Der
rick. A grave-digger walking in the streets
tho other day chanced to turn and noticed
two doctors walking behind him. He
stopped till they passed and then follow
ed on behind them. "And why this ?"
said they. "I know my place in the pro
cession," returned he.
It is evident, from the following de
scription by an exchange of tho girl of
the period, that Bho is desperate and
bound to carry her point duriug leap
year: "She carries a short, stout walking
stick." This of course means a husband
or a place on tho polio force. Peck's
Hun.
A lady was reproaching Mr. William
Warren, tho Boston actor, at a recent
reception for going into society so little.
"You ought to let mo lionize you a lit
tle," she said. "I never heard of but ono
man," replied the veteran actor, "who
was not spoiled by being liiized."
"And who was he?" "Daniel.1
A " Woman's Exchango " has been
opened in Washington, aud already tho
secretary has received letters from several
married men in various parts of tho
country, making inquiries concerning
tho probable expense of exchanging their
"old women" for other. A misunder
standing probttb'y exists somewhere.
Norristuttn Herald.
A contemporary asks: "How shall wo
men carry their purses to frustrate tho
thieves ?" Why carry them empty.
Nothing frustrates a thief moro than to
snatch u woman's purse after following
her half a mile, and then find that it con
tains nothing but a recipe for 6piced
peaches and a faded photograph of her
grandmother. Free Ih-ciu.
A Georgia man after nearly jerking his
leg off trying to get his foot out of a
"frog" on a railway track before an ap
proaching train should reach hun, finally
had to unlace his shoe, pull his foot out
and leave his shoo to be run over. Just
as he got his foot out safely the train
went on another track, and ho used his
shoo to kick himse f with for not seeing
that he was or. a tide track all the time.
Ifowkeye.
The printing office of Georgo Jacob, in
Orleans, Trance, is believed to be the old
est existing iu that country, and one of
the oldest iu the v orld. It was estab
liohed in 1-160, and became the prox.-rty
of Isaac A. Jacob in ltiKi, since which
it has continui d in the t-uiuo family to
the present time.