MR. AND MRS. S POOPED DYKE
HOW THET ATTEMPTED TO HAKO A
riCTDRB.
llin iri.ilrlmimlal llrm innie
rl f-A "rti l.ai(l r.
"Now, mv donr," snid Mr. Pjiooprn
dvkc, prancing info the sittins-rooin with
every evidence of dclijiht and eontcnt
ment pictured on his luce. "Now, my
dour, what do you think I've brought
you?"
s'Tm sure I havo no idea," fluttered
Jtra. Spoopcndyke, gazing anxiously on
the flat package Mr. Spoopcndyke car
ried under his arm. "It isn't n new
silver salver for the water pitcher, is
it?"
"Yon hit what it isn't the very first
whack, Jlrs. Spoopcndyke. It never
had any notion of being anything of the
sort," remonstrated Jlr. Spoopendyke,
with some severity. " If you can't pioss
any better than that I'll take it back to
the man and get my money."
" If it was done up in a box I should
think it was that shawl I told you about,"
hazarded lire. Spoopcndyke. " I don't
think they would do a shawl up in a
bundle like that, would they?"
"They might," replied Mr. Spoopcn
dyke, calmly brushing his whiskers.
" You never can toll what these shop
keepers will do when they get started."
"Oh, my dear, you don't mean- to say
you have brought me that shawl 1" and
Mrs. Spoopcndyke made a spring for her
husband nnd wound her arms arouud his
neck.
" Let upl" gurgled Mr. Spoopcndyke,
wrenching himself loose. " If I ever
intended to give you the shawl you have
busted the. project now. Think I'm
going to bring home an executioner iu
the shape of a measly shawl and run the
risk of ucing choked to death for it i"
" Then it isn't the ehawl," sighed Mrs.
Spoopcndyke, somewhat disappointed
but still overcome with curiosity.
" Please tell me what it is, for I know it
is something nice."
"Look," grinned Mr. Spoopcndyke,
unwrapping the package and developing
a cabinet photograph 01 mmscu mceiy
framed in guilt. "Don't that beat all
the shawls in the market? How do you
like it?" and Mr. Spoopcndyke held it
out at arm's length and admired it
hugely.
"Isn't it perfectly splendid!" gulped
Mrs. Spoopcndyke, choking a little. "It
is the best likeness of you I have ever
teen. Did you get it for me?"
" Of course," replied Mr. Spoopcndyke,
still buried in admiration of his counter
feit. " You don't imagine I got it for
the rats, do you? Haven't any kind of a
notion I brought it home to kill bugs
with, have you? I thought you might
like it, and so I went and had it taken.
Now where tan we hang it?"
"I don't know," murmured Mrs.
Spoopcndyke, with her finger to her lips
and her mind still on the shawl. " Why
wouldn't that srace between the two
windows be a trood TJlace?"
" Why wouldn't the top shelf of the
pantry be better f ' growled jur. cpoop
endvke. "If Tou are hunting for i
place where the light won't strike it why
not. nut it under the carpet, or stick it
between the mattresses ? This picture
demands some refulgence to show it off,
and I'm going to put it where the most
retuigence is caicuiaicu to sinKe n. aow,
where can we put it ?"
" Isn't that a crood place, right over
the bed ?" suggested Mrs. Spoopcndyke,
w ho began to see that her husband was
aiming for the chimney piece where the
naintinsr.of her father was hung for
years. " If you hang it over the bed, I
can see it whenever I come into the
room."
" Just so," snarled Mr. Spoopendyke,
running a cord through the eyes in the
back of the frame. " And if I hung it
on your back you could see it every time
you turned around to see how your
measly dress fitted. If I was particularly
anxious for you to keep it within your
vision all the jthne I'd put it under the
bed, where it would confront you when
ever you started in on a hunt for burg
lars. I don't know, though," he con
tinued, as a brilliant idea occurred to
him. ' You like that place between the
two windows best, don't yon ? I don't
kuow but what that is a good place for a
picture."
"Best place in the room," giggled Mrs.
Spoopendyke, satisfied that she had car
ried her point and saved the location
sacred to her father. "If I were going
to have my picture hung in this room I
shouldn't hear to any other place than
right there, between the two windows,"
and Mrs. Spoopendyke pursed up her lips
as one who declined ,to recede from her
proposition tinder any circumstances.
"Then I'll tell you what we'll do,"
said Mr. Spoopendyke, with a gleam of
speculation in ins eyes. " v e n nang your
father's picture up there and 1 will be
content to take the subordinate place
over the chimney piece. That makes it
pleasant all around, and no one has a
right, to object."
Mrs. Spoopcndyke saw she had been
caught in her own trap, and made no
further resistance.
" Where's the step-ladder?" asked Mr.
Snoonendvkc. cheerfully. "Hring me
the portable Tower of Uabel, and 1 will
fresco this wall with the finest of modern
artistic efforts."
Mrs. Spoopendyke lugged the step
ladder upstairs, and Mr. Spoopendyke,
having arranged his string, mounted to
take down the old gentleman's picture
with a view to the proposed removal.
"Look out you don't fall, dear," sug
gested Mrs. Spoopcndyke, forgetting her
defeat in her solicitude lor her nusijuna.
"That's all right," smiled Mr. Spoop
cndyke from his perch. "You just quit
roosting on that bottom round like alien,
and I will get on without any further
trouble." Mrs. Spoopendyke jumped off
the ladder, but her dress caught on the
step, and down came Mr. Spoopendyke
like a bundle of soiled clothes, rolling on
the carpet, and trying to get clear of the
ladder that had rolled ufter him and
mixed itself up with him so that it was
difficult to tell which was which.
"What did you let go for ?" yelled
Mr. Spoopendyke, trying to get his
elbow out of his month, and still strug
gling with the ladder. "Didn't I tell
ye to hold on ? Think I dou't kuow
enough to get off a ladder when I get
ready f S'pose 1 w ant a ladder turned
bottom upward when 1 Want to get
dows. t Take it off!" hs rowed, satisfy
ing himself that hs was powerless. " If
you want to see a ladder climb up Spoop
endyke, stand mo up against the wall
nnd' give me a how. Pod gast that
ladder!" and ho rammed his legs between
two of the rounds in his efforts to free
1 ' himself, and, finding one leg caught,
drove the other after it to keep it com
pany. "Wait a minute, dear," pleaded Mrs.
Snoonendvko. tugging away at the
ladder, but tacitly admitting that sho
was unequal to the task. "Keep per
fectly quiet nnd I will get you out."
" irow'm I to keep still!" howled Mr.
Spoopendyke, naturally resenting any re
sistance from his w ife at the same time
recognizing his helplessness. " llow'm
I to keep quiet when you're pulling my
legs out like a pair of teeth? Letgol
Pull it around nnd loose that footl Drop
it, can't ye? Dou't yo know enough to
straighten that leg before you twist it off?
What's the matter with you, anyway?"
and w ith a vicious wrench Mr. Spoopen
dyke contrived to free himself from tho
bidder nnd assume a perpendicular.
" Let the picture go, dear," cooed Mrs
Spoopendyke. "You can fix it some
other time."
"No time like the present 1" hissed
Mr. Spoopcndyke, jamming tho ladder
against the wail and mounting once more.
" Never put off a father-in-law until to
morrow that you can get away with to
day! Now you hold that thing tight, or
voii will be apt to be a widow between
"this nnd the time it takes to sweep mo
up!" nnd Mr. Spoopendyke, seeing that
his wife hnd a death grin on the ladder,
took the picture from the wall and began
to descend cautiously.
" Shall I take the picture, dear?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, letting go the ladder
nnd holding up her hands for the paint
ing. Mr. Spoopendyke turned to hand it to
her, and losing "his balance once moro
came to the floor with a crash.
" Got it ?" shrieked Mr. Spoopendyke,
as the ladder again toppled over on him,
and he saw a repetition of his former
mishap. " Think ye got the measly pic
ture ? Got a notion that ye saved
enough to collect the insurance on ?"
And with a prodigious kick jur. spoop
endyke sent the ladder to the nethermost
part of the room and arose to bis feet
foaming.
Never mind the pictures, dear," sug
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke. " You leave
it with me nnd I'll hang them to-mor
row."
" Oh, you'll do it," howled Mr. Spoop
endyke, whirling on his heel and coming
dow:n hard on his own photograph which
he had carefully laid on the floor. " You
are the one to hang it I - Irust you tor a
thine of that kind ! If you had a wire
along your ceiling nnd a catalogue in
your ear, you'd only wnnt a tin typo and
a row to be an academy of design 1" nnd
with this complicated description of his
wife's few failings, Mr. Spoopendyke shot
into bed as if he were practicing archery,
and nursed his wounds and wrath until
he fell asleep.
" I don t care, muttered Mrs. spoop
endyke, trying to uutie the knot of her
shoelace with her teeth. " I don't care.
It will tench him another time to let
poor pa's picture alone, though I sup
pose I have got to take it down to-morrow
or he will be breaking his neck.
Anyway, he will not look well enough
to have another picturo taken for a day
or too, and then perhaps we will have a
group, and in the case of a group I
wouldn't object to putting that over tho
mantel and letting pa go between the
windows, because pa's dead and ho
wouldn't mind, anyway." And with
this reflection Mrs. Spoopendyke disrobed
quietly and went to bed, figuring on
w hether she would like to have the group
hung with a red cord, to suit Mr. Spoop
endyke's complexion, or a blue one,
which would be more becoming to hers.
Brooklyn Eayle.
SELECT SITTINGS.
A PETECTIYF.'S T.XrF.IUINCX.
Ills
Four thousand muscles haye been
counted in a caterpillar.
A California farmer raided three water
melons weighing 104, ninety-eight and
tighty-four pounds.
Tho Arctic rnspberry is ono of the
smallest plants known. A six-ounce vial
will hold the plant, branches, leaves
nnd all.
A resident, of Zngazig, in Egypt, is
credited with tho statement that the
birds had been observed to depart before
tho approach of cholera, and lliat a town
might no considered safe so long as the
birds remained.
Mrs. Mary Shaughncssy, of Eric, IYnn.,
was exceedingly anxious to live tosco her
hundredth year. On tho hundredth
mniversnry of her birth she was appar
ently in fair health, but she died beforo
the end of the day.
"Right-handedness" extends very fai
long tho animal series. Parrots hold
their food by preference in the right foot,
ind, though we cannot speak positively,
wnsps, beetles and spiders seem to use the
right anterior foot most commonly.
At Conway, in Wales, there is a monu
ment erected in the church to the memory
of n dead worthy, Alderman lloopcs.
His epitaph consists of the following
sentence : " Ho was tho father of twenty-
seven children, nnd was the forty-hrst
child of his father."
Shakespeare uses more different words
than any other writer in the English lan
guage. There are about 15,001) different
words in his plays and sonnets, while no
Other writer uses as many as 10,000. A
few writers use 9,000 words, but tho
greater majority do not employ moro
than 8,000. In conversation, only from
3,000 to 5,000 different words iiro used.
Throughout Utah tho cricket is one ot
the common objects. The Piutes' is the
Jumbo of crickets, and just ns black. It
lives on the slopes of hills, among the
sago brush, nnd when nlarmcd tries in
variably to jump down hill; but being
all stomach and therefore top-heavy, so to
speak, tho ill-balanced insect invariably
rols head over heels, aud every timo it
turns a son erect it squeaks dismally.
Tho Piute dotes on these crickets foi
food.
Tlio fluke nnd tho Dude.
The following story is told of an En
glish nobleman, recently deceased: The
duko was once in church when a collec
tion was announced for some charitable
object. Tho plate began to go round,
and the duke carefully put his hand into
his pocket and took out a florin, wlucn
ho laid on the pew before him. ready to
be transferred to the plate. Lesido mm
Eat a little snob, who, noticing this ac
tion, imitated it by ostentatiously laying
sovereign nlongside tho ducal llonn.
This was ttoo much for his grace, who
dipped his hand into his pocket again
and pulled out another florin, which ha
laid by tho side of the first. Tho little
snob followed suit by laying nnothei
sovereign beside the first. His grace
ouietly added a third florin, which was
capped by a third sovereign on tho part
of tho little snob. Uut came a lourtn
florin to swell the duke's donation, and
then the littlq snob triumphantly laid
three sovereigns at once upon tho board.
The duke, not to be beaten, produced
three florins. Just at this moment the
Elate arrived. The little snob took up
is handful of sovereigns, ostentatiously
rattled them into the plate, and then
turned defiantly toward his rival as if he
would say, " I think that takes the shine
out of you." Fancy his chagrin when
the duke, with a grim smile, put one
florin into the plate und quietly swept the
remaining six back into his pocket.
Family Herald.
How Diamonds Are Cot.
"There are three processes necessary
to be gone through with between tho
rough stone nnd the diamond as you see
it here." said a Cleveland jeweler to a re
porter. " First, a piece of stone the re
quired size must be cut off. To do this
we use a circular saw made of sheet iron
and without teeth. It is worked like
woodworker's saw, and two men stand I
at the treadle. One man holds the stone
to be cut tightly against the edge of the
saw, while the other, using a small
leather dipped in oil, applies diamond
dust to the edge of the saw. The saw is
made of very ductile metal, and me
particles of diamond dust, becoming
firmly set in it, soon wear through the
hardest stone. Now the piece of diamond
passes to the cutting table, upon which
is strapped a wheel running parallel to
the top of the table. The stone is fast
ened by cement to the end of a stick six
inches long. The lapidary takes the
stick in his right hand and holds the
stone firmly against the wheel until ono
facet is ground down. Diamond dust
and water are constantly applied to tho
wheel. The table and upper facets of
the stone are cut this way, and the stone
is then removed from and readjusted to
the stick before the lapidary cuts the
under sides, callets and remaining facets.
The stone is manipulated the same in tho
thud or polishing process as in the cut
ting process. Tho wheel, however, is
composed inftinly of tin, and tripoli and
rotten stone are used in me pousiuuy
process."
t Asia's Floating Gardens.
Among the most remarkable illustra
tions of human energy are certainly the
floating gardens in Kashmir, in Eastern
Asia, the more so that they are the work
of an essentially indolent population.
For their creation an expanse of water
ubout nine miles in circumference has
been utilized, on which masses of weeds,
glasses and aquatic plants grow and be
come intertwined and entangled. These
form the soil, as it were, on which culti
vation is carried on. Divisions are made
in them, they are cut level with the sur
face of the water and then banked over
with river mud. Properly prepared for
this purpose this soil is sown with melons
and cucumber plants, and a crop is raised
which is unequaled in any country for
quantity and quality. These melons and
cucumbers ure sold in a good season at
the rate of ten or twenty for two cents;
in dear seasons they bring two cents
apiece. Floating gardens in Mexico are
upou much the same plan, but are usually
devoted to the cultivation f 8w.
Whipple, the essayist, defines poetry
as "the protest of genius against the
reality of life." When a poet gets kicked
out of tho editor's sanctum it is tho pro
test of the reality of life againt genius.
ItneM Courier.
A Partially Dead Man.
The Morning Herald, Baltimore, Md.,
states : Major B. S. White, of this city,
describes his miraculous cure as follows:
"I have been a partially dead man foi
ten years. Doctors attributed my suffer
ings to the enlargement of certain glands.
The quantity of medicine I took without
relief would be sumcient to set up a nrst
class apothecary shop. Finally St. Jacobs
Oil. was recommended. 1 had my spinal
column thoroughly rubbed with it. All
those knots, kinks and stillness have
passed away, and I am myself again."
Henry Clay Thurston, of Mount Pleas-
nut, Texas, is seven feet seven nnd one
half inches in stature, and weighs 280
pounds. He has got his growth, for he
is fifty-three years of age.
rnpe tinm nu Imprinting R'ltte.
(Hufa'.o, .V. r., AVtro.)
Ono niorntn?; nevrnt venrn ao, 1ut a Mis
null Rinv liplit wftbKlnni!iR tu rhow ttspll
In the enst, a uninll hand of men niiRht have
I wii soon ili pl, vp.l nhont a liouso on Frr
'trcpt, in Hu, nj'o. There wamotlilnir apneial
either in tho ditw or api-nnrftitc of tlio niM)
to imlir-nto their intention, but It wfti plain
that, thev hmt lniinra of importance on
hand, tfwliirvilr n)rVi a.,peart l nt ono of
the window, took n the nitu-ition atae'aneo,
nnd, Mv.nKhitf himself outward with wotvlor
ful qu c'inesfl, waled tho roof of tho hour.
This man to Tom 1 a'ar.i, the notorious
counterfeit..!-; and. nrme.l to tho 1--th Riiil
fully reaM-'iim hi situation, ho defied j.,tce
and the ofll -mis below him. Some of the o'li
.Trs, knowin; the desperate ehnmeter of tlin
lean, pi-ojKise l to shoot rem umil ho
kil od, 1 ut one of the nirnliiT r -mpt'v pro
tost e l, and io la-rd Mint if his b -other on
cers would a s st him to rtseeud he would ciP
turotheirnu n iv, Aecrdinclv ho b'pa'i
tho lU IUult nnd I'ftiRerous task, nnd ir
reeded in bringing h.s prisoner to tho ground
In safety.
The mnn who accomplished this task wns
Jtr. Thomas Curt in. tho present superintend
ent of the city police of HuITiiIo, N. Y. Mr.
Curt in is a man who is known by every
prominent detective and policeman in
America, nitd he stnnds pre-eminently in tho
front of his profession. Vuiet and Rontln
nmnly in anpearnnco and minners. he-pos-josses
a com axe combined with marked phy
sical ikiwoi'8, that make him the terror of
evil-doers and the prido of law-nbidins citi
zen. Few people can realize, however, the
trials, exposures, and even privations, to
which $he inemliers of every municiml police
and flro department are exposed. Conim-Uod
to In on duty at uncertain hours, subjects!
to tho most Inclement weather, and often
ueoossit'itod by tho nature of their duties to
protract undertaking, they endure a ner
vous and physical strum that is terrib'e.
(Such was the experience of Mr. Curtin iu for
mer days; and it is not surprising that he
found himself suffering from a mysterious
physical trouble. In relating his exiiorience
to a representative of this pai er he taid :
" At times when I was on duty I would feel
n unaccountable weariness and lack of
energy. My appetite was also uncertain an I
mvhtad si'emea dull and heavy. I di I not
fully understand thee troubles, but supposed,
ns most people suppose, that 1 was mifterinn
from malar a. I tried ti throw off the feel
iiifT, but it would not po. I thought I might
veivome it, but found I was mistaken, and
1 finally became sj bndlv off that it wx
almost impossible to attend to my dutio. I
have known any number or men in the police
and fire departments of Miis country who'
have been tUllicted as I was, and I doubt not
there are to-day hundreds similarly troubled
who, like myself, did not know the cause, or
really what ailed them. "
" our present appeiranee, Mr. Curtin
dees not indicato much hysieil debility,"
?aid the interviewer as he looked at the vr:0
jounds of bono and inule standing re vrly
Qve feet eleven in hos in height before him.
"Oh, no; that is altogether a thing of tho
past, and I am hapi y to say that for more
than a year i hare enjoyed almost perfect
health, a'tuough Inownalizo that I was on
therond to certain death br Bright'g tlisra o
of tho kidneys ana traveling at a very rap.u
pace."
" How did you o.ime to recover so com
pletely I"
" 1 hat is just what I want to tell you, for
I believe it may be of greet service to many
others in my profession, who may poss.b y
hear of it ' I began the use of a popular
remedy at tho earnest solicitation of a num
ber of friends in this city, and found to my
great gratification that 1 began feeling better.
This feeling oont.nuxl and I gained in
strength and vigor uutil now I am perfec ly
well and wholly through the instrumental! v
of Warner's Ka'e Cure, whio 1 1 believe to lie
the bsst medicine for po: icemen, firemen,
railroad men or any ol her class of neonln .
posed to danger or a change of weather, ever
discovered. Since 'my recovery I have
recommended it everywhere, and never knew
a ive where it failed either to cure or benellt.
1 would not be without it under any con"
sidt ration, ai d I a'li positive it is a wonder
fully vah a'.le and at the fame time entirely
harmless remedy. Jndi-ed, I see that Dr.
tiunn, dean of the United States lledical
College of New York, indorses it in the
highest terms."
" So you experience little difficulty u the
execution of your duties now, Mr, Curtiu
do vi u i" '
''None whatever. Our department was
never in btter condition than at present."
" And ilo you never have any fear of some
of Uie desperadoes whom you have been the
means of bringing to justice ("
' Not in the least, feuch men do not try
to retaliate, partially becauso they have ml
the courage, but oftener because they respect
on officer who does his duty."
lue policemen, nremen, letter carriers and
other public employes in this country have a
I art cu any trying life. When, therefore,
a simple and pure remedy that can restore
nnd sustain the health of all such men is
found, it should because for great congratu
lation, es))Oc:a'lv when recommended by such
a l: an as Superintendent Thomas Curtin. of
JJuffulo. - '
A Iifirky Chanr.
Of all n no donbt the mPohanTe and
lnborer Millar more from disease than any
other eln not always in the disonoe itelf,
but the circumstances Mirroundinif their
eases. Who can uepict'a wore horrifying
scene than that of the prosperous mecliHinc,
who. Pv some arenoiui uisease, in reuui
flesh And strength, having no power of con
trol, a liS'.plo'B prey to soma malady? Per
haps the family of ths worthy man may be
mitrenno for the noowaris ot liie, au oe-
ennse ' father " is nnablo to work.
Why then do not all men gi apple with the
first symptoms of disease (of whatever name
or nature), and thereby r'evpnt this sad
picture. . .
This is just what Mr. IIiram FsaWkmn, of
Nnugatuck, Conn., did when lie began to fel
a heavy, dull pain in the small of his back,
hich steadily grew wome until he had to do
fino Of two things! cilhor give up work or
die, or look around for some means to cure
kidney disease, Biul a lnrhy chance threw in
Ids way a safe and certain menus of de
liverance. , ,,,
The facts In Mr. F.'s oiso are these: His
business (mnson and buildor) requires lnm
tn he einnaed in all aorta of wenlher. Ke-
rnntly, from ft severe cold, ho contracted
disease of the kidneys, and like manv others
began using everything at hand. Not find
ing any help, as a Inst resort he began taking
Hunt's Remedy. The first bottle giving le
cidecl benefit, he continued its one until ho
had used three (8) bottles, when all trouble
disappeared. Mr. V. is now attending to
business, a well man, and recently remarked
to an acquaintance: "One trial convinced
mo, as it will yon." We need scarcely add
Hunt's llemodv is unrely vetrstable, and
meet ft want never before furnished to those
snlloring from kidney and liver complaint,
dropsy, etc., and the utmost reliance may be
placed in iu
A Christian
boon organized
London.
polictm.'n's
among the
mnoiation has
policemen in
Cn-hn-llnea.
Borrow and gloom the soul may meet,
Yet love wrings triumph from defeat;
And the coarsest hair can still be fine
Uy using Alagio Carboline.
Walking made easy with Lyon's llool Stiffen
tb; they keep your boots and shoes straight.
MEDT
lflkTHE GREAT
itRMAN RE!
RheumaUsm,Ceuralgla, Sciatica,
Lumbioo. Bickich. HMdichi, Toothache,
Bora Throat. n r ilinsa, MrMln.Hrul
MarMa. Xo !. rruat Mile.
ikd a IjL onus miun.T runs anb achks.
Sgldbt Dnmltumd mrrf . riaj Cmu kttUa.
IMrMUsnt l U LftM.l.
Tnt cm hies a. vowiti.ru on. '3
in -mi i ' - BttUrnm. li.HI.1
w Y w rjia 7
Vital Questions ! I
Ask the mnut eminent physician
Of any school what is t he liest thing In the
world for quieting and allaying all irritation
of tho nerves and curing all forms nt nervous
complaints, giving natural, childlike refresh
ing sleep nlwavs t
And thev will te'l you unhesitatingly
" Some form of Hops I"
CTIAPTFn I.
Ask any or all of the most eminent physl-
c"uy-hiit; Is the best, and only remedy thit
enn 1 relied onto cure all dl-maieii of the
kidneys nnd urinary organ ; su h as HrUht
disvise, dinW-tcs, retention or Inability to re
tain urine, ftivl all the disoasfs and ailment
peculiar to Women"
" And they will toll you explicitly and em
phalieolly "Ihichu."
Ask the same pliyrielnn
" What is the most rellab'o and fmrest euro
for all liver di case or dyspepsia; onstiea
tion. indiges'ion. biliousness, malar al fever,.
&c," anil they will toll you :
Ttlnn.li.nbn I nr I Inlllle. infl
Hence, when those remedies are combined!
wi h others equally valuable
And eom-iounded into Hop flitters, such ft.
wonderful and mysterious curative iower is
developed which is so varied in i1 oprra ions
that no disease or lit nean n an j-.mniuiy i.v
or resist its power, ami yet it is
II or nil. ss for the nios". frail woman, weak
est Invalid or smallest child to use.
cHAr-nci. n.
'Patlmts
Almost dorul or nearly dfini"
For years, and given up by pbys'ctans of
flrlght's and othsr kidney .libtvwes, livw coin
ploints, severe coughs called consuurptUin,
Lave been ourod.
Women gone nearly envy 1
From agony of neuralgia, nervwusnesK,
wakefulnesj and various disco.-- peculiar to
women. . , .
l'enpls drawn out of shape from excimcl-
iliii ninni of Rheumatism.
Inflammatory anil chronic, or
from scrofula I
Erysipelas I , ,
Salt rheum, blood poisoning, dyspepsia. ln-
digeiion, vi In lact almost U d mouses frul
Nature is heir to ,
Have been cured by Hop Bittors. proof of
Which am be found in every neighborhotd
In the known world. ' ,
MERCHANTS!
"OUR VEUWSZsr
Is Ready to Start V
It isn't i ni.lt- druiioir. iirlthr
In 11 luniiilti ninnlT.it thPimK
Ii-Kj.ii.il, lmtiii"il''l vMwmtiw (
ri.ntainini? M4 !- iwuu
Full of Harualim.
Bjrrjlni 1 Uotloni, TtiwiW, TmS
Tr, Birdwirt, Sc., .,
A1o "S ft 10 rt . Counter" BtipTl
N.ll.-Thw In tti only I""
niT we wild o-it.
-out. PR RROS.w
&jK wnS 380 Broadway, New Torlt,
-tfr U" 159 171 A4ai wu"i"
-MirbMita, ond tr "Oca Piich-kb!" 1 IS
multd tree cm aiilioUun.
KH.l.W R-hi., rt-S-BnCT, "'""
W-lJStVi 1UI. M.itli", Hl. "-. ""
ifr ""-i.YJ ii.ii,hfi. n.ui. .in-. Nil rir
suffering'
k STOMACH '"
chronic djrapep
and llrsr eom
plaint, and in ohronlo
tipatton and
Other otitint dir
Hostatter'l
.Stomach Bitten it
beyond all com pari -eon
the bet remedy
that caa be taken. As
a meane of featuring
theatirnitthand vital
t-imruf of tteramia
who ma nktnjr nndnr
thn dt il Ut n ff
lWta of painful dtfl
onltra, tine xtindiird
vegetable inv forant
itaetxiiy un
aale by all
and Deal-
Data n r H elys creambalm
wsusisii?gaMsis....iFwwnenappuei vj mm nn.
ger Into tho metrila,
will beabaorhed, effect
ually elc-anaing the head
f catarrhal virua, caoa
ing healthy eecretiona.
It allaya inttamraation,
protectathe membrane
f the nasal paaaacea
from additional colds.
completely baa la the
torea and reatoree taata
and amell. A few ap
ultcationa relieve. A
thorough trr ment ttitl
poWfi'ptffy curt. A,
at ie io uee,
cirrulur
M r'. toft o.
k i C i V Minn v
THE FALL IS
THE BEST
TIME TO
KOK MOST
BATI--FA' '1DHT
u I SI I.I f I NT.
H O I i n I' I NT",
IF Nir SOI.K II Y VOI R 'KAL.
1KS 81 Nil I;llKjT HK SAM.
1'l.KS AMI I'Kll I S. IH'.i7U
t'UUl'ON bT.. MiW YUKk
tor rtf"n
and bunlnma.
AN OPTICAL WONDER
K'L'i.. flk.....i.n.Ani fur tiro I Mf.i ntf Ml.ll fl-
Unrniir pli.rt.mniphm oliMnimunK oi.aiii iiii-turea and
oblr.l. Worku liko iiil'1i-, anil ilolmlitK nn.l my at IWa
v..rvll. tvnri fi.rimrfuU nud rr.il'cniiilvocmTfuir
:un... u.,u f... ii... i
JiUIUUI UlWJIW".wv.,
, llox 7tB, M. X. City, N. V.
-tur,ot
"Threw Awtiy Her Hiinporter.
TH. TliiR K: AnuiKhborof ours was suf
fering fr. m " female weiknes" which the
doctors toll her coul no; be cured without a
sum iorter. After considci ab.e nersuiusion my
wife induced her to try yi ur " i-avorile i r
tcriptio i." Aft t usinf one b ittle slie threw
Bav tl e mp'Kirter and did a lurge washing,
wl.ic i she had not dune in two year b -lore.
Jab. Millkk, 4 i li Juc jo Sr. , V heeling, W. Va.
liH Tis iCoi.L'Mi IA cjntains l-.',tKl) L'hiucKe
md rccfiv.-s i0 more every month.
Sai-tmarsh, Ala. Dr. Jan. B. Mills tay:
'Si:v-ruluf my 1 atie itshaveused l!i own'slron
liitteis for cUro.iiu tadieatiun with benefit.'
Aktui'K'h ticvln om in tho Whito House is
furnislu d in light h ue.
If your lungs are ulnrv-t wast'-d bv con
sumption I)r. i ierci's " (iold n ilodic al lli
covery' will not cure you, yet u; a re.nu ly for
te.ero (piu'hs, a d all c i a' lo bro ichiul,
throat and lun ; ff jctions it is ui surpassed,
hend tw bUiiniij for D . Pierre larjje
p.uii hlet tn atibj o i Con.umpti.jn anil ICin-
i.rea Ante M. S. ah iren v oki.o a b.v
bakv MbicalAsso( iaiion, liutlak), Y.
Jaes A. llAKUi-i, of l'luridu, cots $ ',tK
net out of his o: au.-e crop this teason.
Daiu-aneli-e. Auk. Ur. M. M. Croom stys
" brown's Iron B.tters ib Iho bj.-,t medicine in
the wond aud U e .ie.tiag mira-uloua cures."
Ka'TEHN capital t iar.Ko to build ut
immense hutel at halt La.se City.
VVuiiinn mill Her llisrniew
Is the title oi a lar. eillua rated treatise, by
Ur. It. V. V erce, 1 u .alo, JS. Y., g nt to any
address for three stamps. It teache success
ful e if -treatment.
Ovr.n 7.1,'iikl Cuna Jiaus are eu.;ai,'tl in tin
umber bu.-.iucsii.
For uel men, women, wrak and sickly
children, without a mal. Will not ca.ibj
heauaehe. Ui own'h Iron liitteju
Tmc Prince of "Wales is Investing largely In
Bne cuttle.
My mother bejran gaining from first dow
she toe.lt of Dr. Graved Heart Regulator.
Bhe U rid of those 1 a I feelings about her
h art now, the relief is permanent, other
remedies only helped for a few minutes. Miss
Cla. a hra-it, Lawton, MI h. tl er b3ttle.
Atlanta, Ga., is moving for a permanent
srt and inilus'. rial exhibition building.
Bi ice la?t Ob toborl have suffered from acute
nllamina'iou in my nose a id head often in
the night having to gefuu and iulinlesalt aid
h ater for relief. My eye hu- been, for a week
at a time, so 1 coul J not see. i nave useu no
eml of reme lies, a'so employe 1 a doctor, who
said it was iiiipuro blood but 1 got no help.
I used Kly s Cr.a n Iialm on the recommend-
ution ot a menu, i was ia.uues.-i, uuu iu a
'i w days was cured. My n se now, and also
my eye, is well. It is wonderful how quick
it heljjed me. Mil. Ueohoib K. JfUiOX,
Hartford, Conn. (Kasy to u e. Price 50 cts.)
Walnut I,er Ilalr Ueatorer.
Itis entirely diderent from all others. It
is as clear as water, and as its name iudicat s
is a perfect Vegetable Ha r Restorer. Xt will
immediately f ree the head from all dandruff,
restore gray hair to ils nat ural color, and pro
duce a new growth where it has fullen off. It
does not in any maimer aflect the health,
which sulphur, tuar of lead and nitrate ol
silver preparations have done, ltwillchune
Uilht ot fadod hair in a few days to a beauti
ful p-'ohsv brown. Ask vour drut'Erist lor it.
Kach bottle is warranted. Kmith, Klink &
CO., Wholesale Agents, Fhila lelphia, l'o.,
aud C. N. CniTTENro.v, New York.
I AY-FEVER
RIOF. SOPHNTS. BY MAIL OK AT DRUGGISTS.
ELY lUtOTIIEUH, OW VAiO, N. Y
FHAZBR
AXLE GREASE
Ttrat In the world. iet the areniilne. Kvery
pnrknae baa our trnle-niiii-k iiml la uiarueo
truscr'a. KOLU tVfcltl WilbUli.
li. ... l v.u -4J,.i .!., .irtlt.l.li..
.- .. I. Mil- nnl h (Ul
wl, nJ only rt comtia?r
'yy cliou..r...l lor JUI " 1 cnro.iu
vj Wak o . a -iiriKii, . v1" V 't," r,
ie-.i oaxoa Hn!it' dii" an.l .lyimi.a In 3 wmm-ill
lormaot rhumtio dia..r.lnin i to li ika-rjill
mllaiumatory in 1 liny. Oun n-l.ir to liun.lr di 1 ralia
l.l jmouli. ciirnd wbo had Vrif.l in nn vnryinm al.
t ui ii . it i.m ,iM.,iini.N B.,ud ut ua fur ii
aotlirn aim. Kim . re. Adama A Ou.. l Williaiual
,N.Y
TO
iTRKlT
t relieve at once Hums, li ., rhaprd Hinds or Una.
'oma.liunlnn.Kreidn.linitM.SornirfcB of frvt.naima
,jea.tc. .ItchLuKiromanyrauae, c atg
gibi, or avuu w iwa
The "flockwood" fnotographic In-
aAUAMA..iM nu m-a.
Fur Amatftura mid KviHiit.ala. la unelpby one of tha bat
expert-. Ill the uukiiimi,h. 1' r iinijoimi I, iwiim
ami atnmil ejcrtUtxet thv miriift-B iinytbiiiii I have ev.
a-j(f. l-'.vtrv aniiiUu.u ia la.tH.l by nil., and 1 held my-
mlf rf.n.iihit b. f. r t i-ir ruin J v. hn.id lor nru a liT
I.I . ti. KOCIiW ((!, IT I'n -n S.jiir-, V.
YITI TtTI "V rrturn tnntl. rnll Pwrlpiu,
k I k Wol' Kw Talinr Syfui of
J, Xl,JJ JJlllf aa C uUlug MO.IUl a IU, UmcIuhsU, o.
C C a week in your own town. Trma and $.1 outnt
lUUIrsa
Addruai 11. lUui.rtilu,, Purlluud,
-1 i-r jn -t' ...si - "j jr j.1 - Pi
Mi
SPECULATORS.
N. G. MILLER & CO.,
R. LINDBLOM & CO.,
ft A 7 Cbamber of M Broadway.
(Inmn.Mrfu. l.lilABm. WaW York.
GKAIN ft PROVISION BKOKBUS.
Mem bora of all rrominnl Hr.liio Exohangea m Na
York, Uiu'Wii, bi. Li.uiaanit Mllaaukoa.
We bav uxiilimive priTlH loU-trmpu wirebatwoan Ohl
roand New York. Will i-ioi ule ordwraon our ju.l
luent when reiiu'-lnd. Sn 1 tor c.roiilara eouttiunic
unrliculani. KUlir. I.IM'III.UM Jt wuicafU.
l Don't Often tlannen
Where a reliable bouae. In alerliinf tlulr r..ultr
buainea., wi l wnJ, an inian.io u.., ........
a e .mpMe anmple outfit tliat will anahlx any one inrl
B 1 eut.ro riMi-K loeaaily limka .S lo 10 p. t diy an.!
I'lli-uaea. M-liu tli 1 1 and two tainl for roturii u. 1 111 t.
11KS, HK.KKUItlCO.. Ml, cm AMI tlroa Iway, Pi.JT.
DTira itmiiB num.
IM. M kw. M Ui I ' W 1
lo fcrh H. I. t.-i J
,B. b wi. twin, 4m. J
m-. L. A.L.SailU a i4l.,iarahalaUaa, I
EnPLOYnENT"'3
SaaltSI laU I lilSaWll I llraiNEKaOoLLKOB
Jmwerk, S.J. T.-inni un.y IU. Write lor circu.era
A aenta Wnnted for tba Rout and Faateet-e-.IHna.
J l'li-turial H.Kki. and H blew. Prl.-wrt ro inwd -IHpel
cent. National FunuihUiNU Oo.t 1'iiitadt.lphia. Pu.
llKETSna wrltina papsr, in bb.tMr, with
eau.naar, by mall for 2 11 AenUl H anted.
KcONOliT PaiNXtSU Uo., N.,burpoit .tlma
ALOOUEorBEKT BOOKS fob AGENTS
nt tree, Uinud.n ' .llollier, liniue nun
cnvril. J. m. 1'i . "i.i.-rn.o ir. la .. iw
,.t. u.. J
eo
Derline of Mnn.
Nervous 'Weakness, Dys. en H, Impotenre.
Siua.l DebilitT. cu.el by "Wei's' lloa.thKe-
uewor."
fiel It, Mure!
Wells' "Rough on Ua's' Almanae, atdV'sts,
tr mail for c. s a up. li. S. Wells, Jersey City
For dthpepsia, iNDioESTioN depreHHion of spir
its and geucr&l debility iu I heir vurious forms
also as a pr.- entive against fever aud ague and
other intermittent fevers, the 'Ferro-I'hosphor-ated
Elixir of CuliHaya," made by Caswell,
Hazard & Co., New xork, and suld by all Drug
Kii.l, is the bent tonic ; and for patients recover
ing from fever or other sickness it has no equal
mother rawan'a Worm fcyrup.
Infallible, ta-i'i'l. ss, harm e-a, cuthartlo; foi
'evenshnei, restle--negs, woim 'Si cents.
Your health depends on the purity of youi
Woo l, feople mUo rea ize lliii are taking
Hood a Sarsai arilla with the best results.
t'hrolithion collure and ( uffs will not tun,
yellow nor grow btilf, Lite other waterpi oof
good
Mr. J. K. Harvey, 1 W Brid -e St. , Brooklyn
ays: " I have uo more dr.-ad of in la uiu v
ory rheu u ttis u siuca Dr. Ki uor's Siaaiis-iue-Lioutahue
brju,'Ut ma out of tin (erriUla
ondiuou I mi in l.it year."
CURES WHtHE ALL ELSE FAILS
L'NP tit llHlf.
i
ai-s
p
a J U. iji lot. muut lily. K. h.Tn k a t. I Hi h 1 he N b w Y ot k ,
Cami hoh Mil. a tathehfwt Liimn'-nt. PriraftcantjL
newarl o'tok. pilv rwrr trftu lai uiMh
ham ami nuie. tw ntxiTr trtHait uy.
oQc. T. I'. Brown, Worcester. Mnaa.
Iani tiwraptiy lin aorl mil
yuu a atlUevvMiu. viruuiisn iron.
SP wbara tor
rUnKFA'.i ia a new town in Nebraska
I UUliU IOUib you
VAI IM l.M. HltOS.,
aiatWiKK. tlladayatnanieeaauymaaa. uosuy
$ I fcouttlt true. AudioM 1'ubk -Co., AuKuala, Me.
C a eOrt pardayat bi.mr. hampleaworthifrea.
0 TO L U Iddmna BiiKaoM A Oo.. PorUaud, Ma .
Pa NIX Pkutobal will ouia your oou.n. Price Jxs.
attie of the Books.
600,000 Voluuios, the choicest literature of the world. lOU-l'age Catalogue
free. Lowest prices ever known. NOT Bold by dealers. Bent for cxauiiuatlon
BEFORE payment on evidence of good faith. JOHN II. ALULN, I'ubllbher,
18 Yescy Street, New York. P. O. ISox 1227.
Worn, WearyndWretched.
"As weak as a cat" is an expression irequently used by debilitated
sufTerers who are trying to tell how forlorn they feel. It is an incorrect ex
pression, for a cat is one of the most agile and vigorous animals in exist
ence. It would be more correct to say, "as weak as a limp old rag," for
that gives the idea of titter inability to hold one's self up. The weary per
son who feels thus is generally worn, worried, woeful, and wretched.
4 Sometimes it is a case of overwork, and sometimes of imperfect nour.
ishment. The blood in the svstem of a nersnn who is "n wmIt a n .-w : :
a wretchedly thin condition. It needs iron, to impart richness, redness
and strength. This is to be had by taking Crown's Ikox Bitters the
only safe and proper preparation of iron in connection with gentle' and
.pow-W.il tonics. The physician and the druggist can tell the worn and wearv
hovT.aluable a remedy Brown's Iron Bitters has been found in ;,rf,-
every -day use.' n