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VOL, XVI. NO. 26.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1883.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
.. THE OLD HEADING CLASS,
I cannot totl you, Gonovlevo, how oft it comes
to mo
That nither young old reading class in Di.
i triet Number Three,
That row of elocutionists who stood so straight
in line,
And charged nt standard literature with
nrfiinblo design.
Wo did not spare tho energy in whieli our
words wore clad;
We gave tho moaning of tho text by all tho
light we had;
Hut still I fear tho o:ic3 who wroU tho lines
wo read so freo
Would scarce havo recognized their work in
District Number Thrco.
Uutsldo tho snow was smooth nud clean tho
Winter's thick-laid dust;
Tho storm it made tho windows speak at ovcry
sudden gust;
Bright riolgb-bclb throw us pleasant words
i'hou travelers would pass;
Tho lnaplo trees along tho road stood Lhiver-
i ing fn their class;
Eoyond, tho white-browed cottages woro nest
ling cold and dumb. .
And far away tho mighty world seemed
beckoning us to como
S'ho wondrous world, of which wo conned
' what lmd boon and might be,
til that old-f tshioned reading class of Dialrict
Kumlicr Thrco.
We took a hand at History Us altars, spires
i and flames
And uniformly mispronounced tin most im
portant names;
V.'e wandered through Biography, nnd gnvo
our fancy piny,
And with some subjects full in lovo "good
only for ono day;"
In Ro:u-.:-.?o and Philosophy wo 6cttlcd many
a jh.int,
And m -.i'.v what poems wo assailed to creak at
every Joint;
And ninny authors that wo lovo, you XVithmo
v. ill agree,
Yc:m first timo introduced to us in District
Number Thrco.
You recollect Susannah Smith, tho teacher's
Bora distress,
Who novor stopped at any pause a sort of
day express ?
And timid young Sylvester Jones, of incon
sistent sight,
Who stumbled on the easy words and rc.ii! tho
hard ones right f
A.nd Jennie Qroon, whoso doleful voleo was
always eloihed in black I
And Samuel Hicks, whoso toura induced the
plastering all to crack I
And Andrew Tubbs, whoso various mouths
were quite a show to see t
Alas I we cannot find them now in District
Nural)cr Thrco.
And Jasper Jenckes, whoso tears would Cow
at each pathetic word
CHo's in tha prizo-Ught business now, and hits
them hard, I've heard) ;
And Bonny Bayno, whoso every tone ho mur
mured as in fear
(His tongue is not so timid now: ho is au auc
tioneer); And Lanty Wood, whoso voleo was Just en
deavoring hard to change,
And leaped from hoarso t; fUvcoly shrill with
most surprising range;
Also his sistor M iry Jano, so f nil of Jprudish
gleo. t
Alas! they're both in highsr schools than Dis
trict Number Three.
So back theso various voices come, though
long the years havo grown,
And sound uncommonly distinct through
Memory's telephone;
And sorao aro full of melody, andbringasonso
of cheor,
And some can smito tha rock of timo, and
summon forth a tear;
Cut ono sweet vcieo comes back to mo, when
ever sad I grieve,
And sings a song, and that' is yours, O peer
less Genevieve!
It brightens up the olden times, and throws a
suiilo at me
A silver star amid tho clouds of District Num
ber Three.
VSill Carleton, in Harper's Magazine.
A HAPPY MISTAKE.
"No, life is not fair. Its troubles
are given to tho many; its pleasures
only to the few 1" mused Mrs. Mer
riam m sue stood in her cottage door
looking after the fine cairiage of an
old schoolmate that hal just dashed
by. " She has so much, ana I so little I
And yet, I once had the opportunity of
' accepting that ricli husband of hern,
and she would have given her eye;, in
those days, if Tom Merriam would
have cared for her as he cared for me !
. I wonder how it would have been if I
had takm Jacob Marabout, 'instead of
telling lum that I was engaged to Tom.
and seeing real tears in Ins ejes as ha
listened I I wonder if Tom Hut
what am I thinking of ? Iam quite
eure that Tom could never have cared
for her never 1"
Mrs. Merriam's set faco softened a
little as her memory went back to the
days when " Tom" wooed and won her,
and when she was so glad to secure
him after her long fear thatllermione
JJacy would be his chosen bride,
i But tho next moment the bright sun
light flashed upon the highly-varnished
panels of Ilermione's pony carriage
far up the Gorge road. Hie turned
away from the open door with a heavy
sigh and entered the plainly-furnished
BitUng-rooin where her two little girls
were getting ready for school.
' Tut it away I Hide it under your
apron, Bosy, or mamma will see it !"
she heard her twelve year-old Inez say
in a frightened whisper as she laid
her hand on the latch of the door.
Ilosy was shuffling something out of
Bight under her white pinnfore with a
very guilty fa-e. Both the children
were anxious to set off to school before
their usual time, nnd when the mother
had allowed Ih -i n to do so she saw
them turn out of their road to go to
their father, who was at work in the
field on the hillside.
Tho two trim little figures stood on
the hilltop, in strong relief against the
pale-bluo horizon, and Rosy's apron
was unfolded, and "father" was evi
dently mule, the participator in tho
secret which "mother" was not to
know I
It was a little thing, but it added to
tho discontent with which the neat
and capable housekeeper went about
her usual tasks that morning. "
Tom Merriam was unusually silent
that noon when ho came to dinner,
lie partook of tho tempting meal in
an absent-minded kind of way and
went back to the hillside tho moment
lie had finished, instead of lingering
to talk to h;a wife as ha generally
did.
And yet this was her thirty-fourth
birthday I Tom might have remem
bered it sufficiently to say a kind word
or two in praise of tho extra good
dinner which she had given him. Hut
no ; thero he was on the hillside again,
and actually leaning over to talk to
llenniono Marabout as she drove by
on her way back to tha beautiful little
villa which her husband had taken lor
her during his absence in Europe on
important business.
The hillside conference lasted nearly
ten minutes ; then the pony-carriage
rolled by the small brown farmhouse
once more ; but Ilermione's faco was
persistently turni d tho other way.
"She has forgotten, tool" thought
Mrs. Merriam, bilteriy. " And yet her
own birthday comes only one week
alter mine."
She finished washing and putting
away her dinner dishes and swept the
kitchen floor. Her house was none
tho less spotlessly tidy because her
heart was aching.
She put on a clean dress of pink
print which she had made ready for
this very day.
In tho pantry were four tiny loaves
of fruitcake one for each member of
tho family which she had made in
secret, and tho wheaten bread, the
graham rolls, the chipped beef and
home-made preserves were ready for
the supper table on the shelves.
Nowork was pressing for this after
noon. For a week past she had
planned to secure four leisure hours at
this time, and now they hung heavily
and sadly upon her hands.
Hie wandered around from room to
room for a few moments, biting her
lips hard every now and then to keep
back tho unwelcome tears. At last
she snatched up her sunbonnet, and
leaving the house by tho backdoor she
hurried across the garden and a small
neck of pasture land, and reached the
cool, green shadow of the pasture
woids.
In the silence and beauty of the
maples she ilung herself down and
burst into tears. Long, long she wept,
till tho sadness and discontent whi. h
had been making her heart sore all
through the day were entirely gone.
liaising herself on her elbow at last
a quick whir of wings close beside her
cheek ttartled her. Hie searched
among the moss, and found under the
roof of three tiny maples, scarcely two
in; lies high, a lovely little hair-lined
nest with four little, warm white eggs
in it, the latest brood of tho season.
"I will not disturb you, pretty one,"
she said to the small, brown mother
who sat on a barberry bush close by
chirping pitifully.
Hie rose and walked on.
The great trees rustled and waved
their green and golden 1 "aves about
over her head in the sunlight and fresh
air.
A brilliant red bird, with a jet-black
head and wings, flashed past ; u golden
robin chattered and scolded from a tall
ash at her, and a red squirrel barked
himself awry, just above tho robin's
head, when he saw her coming ; sweet
scented thistle, honest-faced mul
leins, and tho cheerful golden-rod
wer j in bloom on every side ; 1 lack
berries, late raspberries and crimson
"Scotch-caps" overran the woods, and
barberry bushes hung full of yellow
ish lruit. A bird, unseen in the
depths of the forest, sang every mo
ment three flute-like notes, half-sweet,
half-sad. Toward the west a deep
bell tinkled melodiously, and the straw
berry roan-cow camo in siht, leading
the rest of the herd to higher pastures.
A woodchuck, standing on his hind
l'eet at the door of his home, bolted
down the narrow path as she passed by.
All was life, movement, happ ness,
sunshine, blue skies and perfumed
breezes, wherever she turned. She
stooped to wonder at the curious tun
nel that the woo,l-S ider wove for a
hiding place in the midst of her net,
the rounded shafts sunk through the
dried grass by the meadow-mole, and
the busy ants carrying their eggs
about when a stone chanced to be up
turned, alike attracted and enchained
her attention.
Two hours passed before she was
aware of their flight; and in all that
time she had forgotten to be unhappy.
" The woods have taught mo a lesson
that I needed," she thought, as she
turned back toward the lonely cottage
homo that had never before seemed
half so dear; "and I have had a pleas
ant birthday, after all."
By the back door sho entered her
home again. dancing into the pantry
as she passed 6ho saw with surprise
that the materials for the birthday
feast bad vanished.
A confused murmur of voices
sounded from the parlor. The dining
room door stood wide open. There on
a table beautifully decorated with hot
house flowers were the lost dainties
in company with cakes, ices, fruits
and creams such as she had never seen
before; while on an improvised side
board stood the heavier viands cold
roast fowl, a ham, in paper frills,
and dressed with parsley, and a tongue.
Speechless with astonishment the
farmer's wife crossed the hall and
peeped into the parlor.
A beautiful rosewood arm-chair,
covered with crimson velvet a chair
such as she hal always secretly longed
for, but never hoped to possess stood
near the open fireplace. Over the
carved and arched top Ilermiont!
Marabout was arranging a wreath of
golden-rod and field-daisies, while Torn
Merriam was fasten:ng above the
wreath a finely-executed inscription,
painted in colors upon tinted paste
board. " Oh, do hurry, papa, please!" cried
Inez, dancing up and down in her Sun
day slippers and best muslin frock
" Kosy and I saw her just now coming
out of the woods, and oh, here she isl"
There were two screams of delight
from the lips of the children in their
Sunday attire; and Tom Merriam
also dressed in his best turned from
the chair and added Ids embrace to that
of Inez and ltosy.
"Welcome, dear mother!" said the
glowing letters on the tinted board.
"Welcome, dear wife!" whispered
her husband as he kissed her.
" Inez painted the letters and I made
the wreath !" cried Rosy, capering about
like a mad thing. "And we were fo
afraid that you would see them both
this morning."
"And papa bought the chair and hid
it out in the barn all last night,"
chimed in Inez. "And dear Mrs.
Marabout has brought you oh, such
a lovely new black silk dress, and such
lots and lots of nice things for sup
per! And it is just the happiest birth
day in all the world now isn't it,
mamma?"
"I congratulate you, dear; and 1
am afraid 1 envy you," saidllermione,
in a low tone, as she kissed her friend.
" I married for money, you know, and
have it; but that is all Never once in
all my life, Esther, have I known the
least tithe of joy that you feel this day.
You are a very happy woman, my dear.
May Clod keep you so !"
With light hearts they all sat down
together to share the birthday feast.
But in the twilight of that evening,
when they two were alone, the wife
confessed to her husband all the evil
thoughts that had beset her that day
Never again did they trouble her
Never has she forgotten the silent
lesson taught her by that momentary
glimpse of the two sides that may ex
ist in the most fortunate of human
lives. V. F. Benton.
Maklnj Cross-Eyej straight.
A medical expert described to a Nt
York Tints reporter his method oi
making cross-eyes straight as follows:
" The operation to be undergone by the
patient is simple and practically pain
less. Eor the convergent cases there
is no pain whatever, only a little an
noyance while the operator is reaching
tho little muscle which has to be di
vided. I have performed the opera
tion hundreds of times on other people,
sometimes giving anesthetics, and
often with no such aid. The patient
is stretched on the table. 1 draw
apart with my fingers the lids of his
eyes and insert between them a little
steel instrument shaped like the letter
O. The sides of this expand by a
spring and force the lids open, dis
closing the eyeball and the network of
muscles holding it in position and
directing its movements. When this
expansion is accomplished I lift up the
muscle with a small pair of tweezers
and divide it with my instrument.
When it is cut it feels to the patient
as if a small band of rubber was being
snapped. There is no pain at all.
Very often, however, painful opera
tions are performed. Tho muscle has
sometimes been divided too much, and
the error has to be rectified. This re
quires some stitches to be taken and a
new cut to be made. The patient must
be made unconscious while this is going
on." "Can you cure any case of stra
bismus ?" " I can benetit any ordinary
case, even when it can't be entirely
cured. I have often wished that I
could operate on Hen Butler. I think
I could give him as straight eyes as I
have in half an hour's time."
The Influence of Forests.
The influence of forests upon cli
mate and fertility is as yet, but poorly
understood by even the more pro
fessional class of farmers. It is a
problem that can be solved only by
observations extending over consider
able perio.ls of time. 15ut the influence
is plainly observable and its explana
tion simple. Strip the hills of theii
protecting forests, and the thin cover
ing of soil which overlays their rocky
slope will shortly be washed down into
the valleys and into the beds of streams
and rivers. Periodical freshets will
result which will eventually carry
away the best soil from even the val
leys. One authority declares that il
the destruction of- the hill forests be
continued in Ohio, half the area of
that State will be sterile in fifty years
liosioH Courier
LIFE IN THE nQP DISTRICT.
THB PASCTWATIOK OF HOP CUX.TUBB
DESCRIBED.
Bow Fort nnm Are Mniln nnd I.ont-An AgrJ.
cull urn I I'uraiilt Wllh the (.banco of Ibe
Gaming Table.
Whoever makes a summer pilgrim
age westward from Albany by the Al
oany and Susquehanna railroad, after
the first thirty miles are passed, begins
to see a strange and unaccusti me 1
vegetation. Occasionally a luxuriant
growth of vines i3 met, which covers
the earth entirely from tho fervent
mid-day sun, an 1 rises from twelve to
twenty feet in the air. He is in the
outskirts of the hop district. It is
only after he has gained tho summit,
about fifty miles west of the capital
city, and rolls swiftly down the long
slope of the Susquehanna valley, that
he realizes that the heart of hop-growing
America is readied, lie is in
Otsego a county which excels all
others in acreage and amount and
value of hops.
Here the hop fields become larger
and more numerous. Hop-growers are
no longer the exception, but the rule.
You may drive the whole day and
hardly pass a farm which has not from
two to Ulty acres of the vine. This
acreage is constantly increasing. The
small grower of live years ago shows
his broad fields to-day, and even the
timid, old-fashiuned farmer of that
lime has caught the infection, and
boasts a modest acreage of his own.
The merchant, the mechanic, and even
the day laborer not inf re iu' ntly hires
a plot of ground from some neighbor
ing farmer, and "tries his fortune with
the rest. ' Instances are not uncom
mon of those wdio rent a few acres anil
rely upon the crop produced, spending
the whole y?ar in an I about the hop
yard. It is a mania; and, as in the oil
regions noMdng is heard save oil yields
and oil prospects, i o here you hear
from year end t ) year end nothing save
a dreary iteration of hop prospects,
hop sales, hop yields and hop blight.
It is a region of unquestione I fertility,
and one of the best gracing and dairy
ing sections of the State. All the ce
reals furnish certain and abundant
harvests. The root crops aro proline
and the orchards redundant of fruit
age. All, however, are subordinate to
tho uncertain hop industry, and the
rich man looks for his luxuriis and the
poor man for his necessities to the value
of th s crop alone.
j Hop growing is always uncertain.
Therein lies much of its fascination.
It is tho spirit ot Wall street carried
a-field. The dairyman or grain grower
looks for but slight fluctuation in the
value of his produce from year to
year. A gain or loss of fifty per cent.
i would be remarkable. Within a much
smaller limit he is safe. But the hop
cultivator knows that tho price of this
year bears no discoverable relation to
that of the next. It may be 'COO cr
400 per cent, higher cr lower without
exciting great surprise. As great
changes as that have occurred within
the last few months.
When we reflect that hops can under
favorable circumstances be littei for
market for ten cents per pound, and
that fifteen cents yields a margin of
profit, we get at the full signifl.ance
of these figures. Eight to ten cents
per pound lias not infrequently been
the price for a year or more, followed,
it may be the next season, by from
forty to fifty cents. Y'et tho decline
is as sudden pnd unexpected. I have
in mind a grower who was some years
ago offered sixty-two and a half cents
a pound for his crop of 5,000 pounds.
Bofusing to sell at that time
he afterward accepted livo c;nts
per pound, which was much
more than many others re
ceived. Another sold his whole crop
for $20. Ono man fe I them to his
liep. while another used them for
horse-be Iding. But in tho overturn
of tilings produced by last
year's supposed immense shut
age some of those hops which had by
some chance been kept, were sold
for more than they were worth when
new. It w.uild bo interesting to know
if they have at last got into use, or aro
still kept in store, perhaps to pa-s into
a greater worthlessness than before.
The la tors which produce this vast
tlu tuation of prices are many. Ber
haps there is no otln r plant subject to
so many vicissitudes of climate as the
hop. The root3 may winter-kill over
vast areas. A slow, (old summer may
retard the growth. A hot, wet Augu.it
may bring the mold in the wake ol the
drea led insect enemy, the fly. The
louse, an immature fly, may cover the
leaves by thousands, causing that pe
culiar like k and sh ning appearance
known as honeydew. Add to these
the deprcdatioas of the hop grub,
which, working under ground, de
stroys tho roots, and tho myriad forms
of caterpillars and of insect iife which
make their home in the hop planta
tions, and ym get foino idea of tho
enem es with which the planter must
contend. During tho present year
thero hau been added to these a blight,
the nature of which is not precisely de
termined. Many hills, after attaining
a height of from six to ten Jset, sud
denly stopped growing, and the head
or terminal point took on a withered
appearance. This tho plant seemingly
overcame in a few weeks, but later it
reappeared, attacking tho ends of the
branches in tho full grown vine. Theso
withered, dropped their leaves, and in
owe coses became dry mX hard. The
loss from this cause will not be consid
erable this year, but no one knows its
cause or how to successfully contend
with it, and no little anxiety is felt
lest it reappear next season. New
York S'n.
The Stimulus of Necessity.
Dr. Carpenter writes as follows in
the New Y ork Medical Journal : What
can bo in stronger contrast than the
sluggish life of the Orinoco Indian
for whom one day's labor (in the
planting of a banana grove) is said by
Humboldt to be sufficient to provide
food for the whole year, and who di
vides his time between sleeping and
smoking and the hardy activity of
the Swiss mountaineer, who toils
througiiout the summer and autumn
in the cultivation of his small patch
of grain or potatoes for the needs of
his family, and scales heights that
most men would deem inaccessible to
collect their scanty herbage as win
ter's food for their beasts, using the
loi)g hours of his enforced confine
ment in some kind of skilled handi
work which may enable him to pro
cure additional comforts for his home
or educational advantages for his chil
dren? And so, in the higher grades
of society, those who are born with a
silver sp'jon in their mouths too often
fall into habits of mere dilet
tanteism, while those who enter
upon their career with good
educational preparation for it, but
without any other means of subsist
ence than what they can themselves
earn, are, as a large experience shows,
those most likely to succeed. I need
not call to your mind3 cases so familiar,
to you as those of some of your own
presidents; but would rather draw my
illustrations from the fact well known
in my reputedly aristocratic country
that many of the men who have
risen to highest eminence in the legal
profession, and have thereby gained
seats in our house of lords, have begun
life upon nothing, while those who go
to the bar with an income that places
them above the need of exertion, are
regarded as almost sure not to "get on."
The autobiography of the late Lord
Campbell and the biographical notices
that have made us acquainted with the
early years of the late Lord Justice
Lush are most instructive when re
garded in this aspect, showing what
steady determination may do without
any brilliant ability, when nerved in
the first instance by the " stimulus of
necessity." And so it is with the most
of us. In proportion as -our path of
life is smooth we tend to fall into an
automatic routine; but obstacles arise
which require some extraordinary ex
ertion to surmount them, and then
only do we become conscious of our
real strength that which lies in vigor
ous self-determination.
Clearing Stump Land.
A correspondent of the Country
Gentleman writes from Michigan
We have here thousands of acres oi
what is called "stump land" land
from which the pine timber has '
taken by lumbermen. The terra
" stamp land" is no misnomer, for
there are often a hundred pine stumps
to the acre. From a field of eight
acres in sight of me as I write, oOO
stumps have ju t been pulled. When
exposed to the weather pine decays
very rapidly, and one would suppose
that a lew years after the timber was
cut the pine stumps could be easily
pulled; but such is not the case. Long,
stout roots are required to support a
pine tree 10'J or 150 feet high, and na
ture strengthens the roots by saturat
ing them with resinous pitch. This
saves them from decay, and a pine
stump, forty years after the tree has
been cut, clings toth'3 ground with al
most tho same grim determination as
when first cut. But in spite of this,
stumps from twenty to forty inches in
diameter can be pulled with a good
machine at a cost of fifteen or twenty
cents each. A man who owns a good
stump puller here has just finished a
job of 1,W0 pine stumps at fitttea
cents each for pulling, and the same
price for burning. Theso stumps were
all standing cn tl irty acres of land,
and many of them were from three to
four feet in diameter.
T. e Aiiiazeiis of Kurdistan.
The women of Kurdistan, says the
London 1) tibj A'tirs, are stated to be
.strongly opposed to tho census, nnd
even disposed to resist the curiosity ot
the enumerators with their lives. Ac
cording to intelligence published in
the Indian papers they have for the
moment entirely frustrated an attempt
to take a census among them in llian,
although the e -nsiis oilii.ers were sup
ported by the military.
Tho women of several villages, "five
hundred fair and strong," marched out
in a body and attacked the troops, who,
whether actuated by fear or gallantry,
turned and fled. It is ad led that the
1'iukish authorities will find it no easy
task to overcome tho resistance of an
inquisitorial visitation of their homes
by the Kurdish women, who are rather
famous for their Amazonian prowess.
Those who are familiar with tho de
tails of the Turco-Hussian war of 1So5
will remember the Kurdish lady who
went to Constantinople at the head of
a thousand horsemen of ber own rais
ing in support of the national cause,
and para led and handled thce troops
with much effect before the Turkish
luiliUiy authorities.
EBSPONDENCY.
fThii sonnet wss written by " Hiiuiwood Bonner"
nl; a short time before bar death. -
A soul which, anguish-smitten, sought releoM
From its own thoughts through weary hourt
of night
Turned with new life to greot the morning
light,
And raad in golden lines the longed-for peacev
When suddenly, 'mid all the fair increase
Of hope, the new-found joys that round it
There stood, reproachful-eyed, ft famished
guest,
Whose wanset look bade all delight to ceoso.
Will it be so hereafter f Shall we gain
The heaven we sought through life's long
night of care,
Only to find some word, onoe heard In vain.
Borne duty, in sheer exorcise of prayer
Left unfulfilled, start up to moet us there,
Bidding us back to old remorse and pain f
Harper's Weekly
IIUAIOB OF THE DAT.
Beauty Is but skin deep, at the drug
gists varying prices per bottle. The
Judge.
Yeast compares his boarding-house
mistress to a frontiersman, for the
reason that she lives on the boarders.
The Newton (Iowa) Journal thinka
the new electric wire fence will be
splendid around a melon patch. It
will be so shocking to the boys.
Th scientific angler is the man who
goes fishing with $25 worth of tackle
and comes home with twenty-five cents
worth of fish. Norristown Herald.
He talked inanely of the arts,
And said some things about the muse,
But all the point that he could make
Was in his pointed, tooth-pick shoe?.
Merchant-Traveler.
Jealousy is so rampant now that a
van can't chase his hat down street
without being accused of running
after the presidency. Waterloo Ob
eercer. A young lady, who has probably had
reason to doubt the veracity o the
male biped, says batches of lies are only
equale I by the lies of baches. Boston
Transcript.
Why is it that a chicken will wan
der around and never begin to scratch
in dead earnest until she gets on the
bed containing the most expensive
flowers in the garden ? 1'uck.
" Why do you call a stupid person a
stick?" asked Hollo one day. Aad
Rollo's father said he didn't know, un
less it was because one end was of no
more account than the other. Argo
naut. A young woman in an Ohio town
has married her brother's wife's father.
When last seen she was busy with a
compass and a dictionary trying to
study out what relation she was .to
herself. Peck's Sun.
When you get pretty well up on the
White Mountains, it is said you can
often see a rain storm below you. It
must be a decidedly healthy place. A
man don't ft el "under the weather"
there, you know. Statesman.
An Alabama ball club composed of
young la lies challenged a mule nine
and beat them by 20 to 11. It might
be stated, however, that the males
were all married men, and accustomed
to knuckling under to the women
folks. Burlington Free Press.
A young miss of sixteen asks what
is the proper thing for her to do when
she is serenaded by a party of young
gentlemen at a late hour. We are
glad to be able to answer this ques
tion. Steal softly downstairs and
untie the dog. llovhtster Fxpnss.
One fellow might hang around a surf
swimming place for weeks and never
have a chance to rescue a rich man's
daughter from a watery grave.
Another would grapple a million heir
ess the very first day, and be invited
to her house to dinner. It is all luck.
Picayune.
"The race is not always to the
swift," especially when a young man
is met at the gate of pa's house by his
greatly admired leaning on the arm of
a rival who had pieceded him by
several minutes by coming cross lots
instead of sticking too closely to stone
pavements. Yonkers Gazette.
A hospital professor was making an
amputation in the presence of his
students; meantime the patient groaned
and sobbed. Irritated at hearing so
much groaning, theprofessorsaid to the
patient : "Do me the favor to be
quiet, for we can't hear ourselves talk.
There are one hundred persons here at
least, and you are the only one who is
making any fuss." The Monitor,
Mexico.
"Is the man m ad ?" " No, tho man
is not mad?" "Then, what makes
him yell so?" "lie is talking to a
man a mile away." " Through that
little instrument?" "Y'es, through
tf.at Instrument of torture called a
telephone." ' Will he make the man
a mile away hear?" Certainly he
will." "But he could doit jie-'t as
easily by yelling out of a window '
" Why, does not tho telephone work?"
"No, it do'S net work. The m:n
using the telephone works. Jot that
down in your mviu." Hartford Post.
ins auTiitinnmery rremToa tnax
there are 250 000 persons in New
York and Brooklyn who receive char
itable assistance, and that a fewAN'
these are entirely depi udent upon e'
ity for tho nect ssar es of t
larger part of this quarter oi a '
it Bciui paupers are children,