;c 0rrst llrpsbliraa I HATES OF ADVERTISING. Ons Ripinre, one Inch, one insertion... ft TJ8 One Sipinrr, one inrh, one month BOO ( ne Sijnnr", one inrh, three month. . . 6 00 One S(unre, ono inch, one year 10 09 Two Sinnrps, one year. 16 to Qnnrter Column, one yenr SO to Hal Column, one year M0i One Column, one year. ..lOOfb Jgn notices nt established rates. Mnrrintfe and death notice (rrntis. All bills for yearly advertisement collected quarterly. Temporary advertisement mask be paid in advance. Job work, cash on delivery. ' u rtmunnsD itiit wxdrsmdat, n J. E. WENK. Office in BmearbMgh A Co.'s Bulldi r I.XM fJ.JJ.ZZT, - T:0NE3TA, pa. 'riqiiMs, si. no imsu, ykaxi. No iiWriptiniiH rweivod for ft shorter period j" 1,ijlo nutnlli. llllminft Mil i'f trtt Ttvint all nalanf IliA VOL XVI, KO. 20. TIONESTA. PA WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 22, 1883. $1.50 PER ANNUM. Nimili v. NiMinilrowi l betaken of anonymous roinmuiiloatioim.' f j A. MODEL GARDENER. Dill Hedger was a gardener W ho earned hie daily mo it By toiling lealonMy all dy Hi r.eal was hard to bent. He wan a man of tender part, And thoughtful for his years E'en when he cnt his onion- down Ilis o es would fill with toars. He wm ro pitiful and kind Ib'd dread to rat his lawn) But though he'd never shock his friends, He'd often shock lils corn. A sjore of carrots oft ho'd give To foed a widow's kine; Buch terns of charily are rare Full twenty cants fine. His wretched horse cotild hir Uy crefp, Bill propped him wide he grazod; He said ho'd have a bettor steed When his celery was ra's 'd. Ho'd sometimes cauliflower to him When he had done his work He loved it stowo 1 in bnttermilk, Or boiled wi:h greens and pjrk. But dea!h at last mtrtvel William down, And they p'.nn'ed him in loom, And gave him for his epitaph "He found sweet po.ise at home 1" HIS WIFE. Tho sun hsul just. set when I arrived at Somerset station. A whole mile to walk in the pleasantcst part of the pleasant6t country in the world 1 Soft hills, batl, In the suu s parting glow, rulseape on every side, and lhI a tender, brooding sky. dott:d th over all si! What keei' of a sum 1 j' M IIieiiL L1IU UULlUlJIilblUU all alone with my best friend had (Touded me and now I was almost there. There was the house; old, brown and many-roomed, and most of the rooms on the ground lloor. Grandmother herself h.fd be n the architect of the cstablisnment. An enthusiastic lover of nature was this old lady of seventy years. Yes, there she was 1 I caught a glimpse of her white sleeve on the win low-sill. I would walk softly in and surprise her. How exquisto the taste of this presiding genius I Heliotrope, migno nette and white roses 1 Grandmother's rose bushes were the envy of the whole neighborhood. Shy little violets bor dered the graveled walk leading to the low dour-stone, and over beyond, in grandmother's pet field, millions of yellow-hearted daisies nodded and beck oned to the soft evening breeze. Avoid- f lng the treacherous pebbles, I cut qui etly across to the front door, stealing with cat-like Iread through the long, narrow hallway, and entering the Bitting room on my tip toes. Wonder ful victory I Twice before had I tried this wonderful dodge, and each t me had tho eld turkey gobbler betrayed me. Whero was he on this occasion; and why, when I really need his ser vices, did ho not prove my friend? Softly, softly, only a step or two more. Tho sensation of tho next minute wasn't anything to speak of; I mean by that it was indescribable. The back of grandmother's big armchair quite hid tho occupant, and nothing doubting, I made with great dexterity for grandmother's eyes. I found the eyes, but they didn't belong to grand mother. I knew that before their saucy owner had imprisoned my hands. "Who is it?" said he, like one first awakening from a sleep, "Let me gu&ss. The fingers are too little for Madge, and too long to belong to Sarah 1" I found my tongue then. I would not wrench my hands away. That would bo rudeness; for ho evidently supposed them the property of some Intimate friend. "Please release me," I said; and then, as ho rose quickly apparently surprised by the voice of a stranger I added, rather ludicrously, I suppose, for the tall fellow in the shirt sleeves laughed right heartily, "I thought you were grandmother?" "Never was taken for an old lady before," he answered, with provoking nonchalance; and then added, as he hastily threw on a dressing-gown, "what do you think about it now?" "1 think I should like to know where grandmother is, and " "And what am I doing here?" he interrupted, with another laugh "Your grandmother has gone to ' spend the evening with a sick neighbor. 1 belong to the next house or rather am visiting my sister. She was unex pectedly telegramed away, and as I have been ill, and am not quite well enough to take care of myself in the absence of a housekeeper, your blessed . grandmother offered to look out for me until my sifter's return. My name is David Alcott, and yours, I take it, is Miss Susan Kills." And then we shook hands. That evening marked a new era in my life. I was comfortable, as was always the case at grandmother's, and I was happy too happier than 1 had ever been before. What it meant was of no tort of consequence to me then. I did not stop to analyze my sensations, but enjoyed to the utmost the strange entertainment fate and placed before me. Mr. Alcott showed where grand mother had left the strawberries fter tea. and then I skimmed a pan of morning's milk, and prepared my supper. "You have been tp tea, of couroe?" 1 lnquired"of tlifrvitleman whq bud again taUen up hU lAok, ' ' A . "Yea, but I should like a few straw berries, if you can spare me some." .So It chanced that he drew a chair up to the little round table, proving a most interesting companion. In an hour or more aftnr our little meal was over, I sat on the door-stone alone, watching for grandmother. Then he came to the door and said : " You needn't expect her before 9 o'clock. I wish I could sit hero with you." "And why not?" I asked. "Because I am still in quarantine. Perhaps I might make It pleasant for you indoors. If you are fond of being read to, I will do my best." "And there is nothing I a.-n fonder of," I answered, and followed him into the house. "Mako your selection," he said, pointing to a table quite overlaid with books. "Something of hers," I replied, pick ing up an edition of Mrs. Browning. "All right I now to please me, open at random, and I will read there." I laughingly assented and placed ray forellnger plump on Lord Walter's wife- "But Khy do yon go ?" fluid the lady, as both sat nnder the yew, And her eyes were olive in their depths, as the kraken boneath the Ren blue. "Beca-ase I fear you," he answered; "be cause you are far too fair, And able to strangle my soul in a mesh of your golden hair." " Please don't go on," I interrupted. " I like the poem, but someway it isn't pleasant now." "I thought as much," said grand mother, entering just here. "I felt sure you had come when I saw the light ;" and no pet last chil l, a baby, was ever more welcomed than I by my dear dead father's mother. "You promised me, David, you would certainly go to bed at 8 o clock,' said the old lady, reproachfully, after having satstled herself that I hadn't changed a bit since she last saw me. Hut how could I?" he asked, with a comical gesture in my direction. " Well, I hope you won't be any the worse for it to-morrow," said she ; "and now to bed with you this minute 1" ' Dear old Vagrant, good-night ,' said the gentleman, with a rare smile, obeying instantly; "and pleasant dreams to you, Miss JMlis. "Nice boy that," said grandmother, as the door closed. "Hoy?" 1 repeated. " Yes, boy 1" "He is twenty-five years old if he is a day. "What of that? You are twenty. and what are you but a girl, I should inquire? Pour weeks ago there didn't anybody round here think he d ever get out again. The doctors gave him up, and his sister was almost crazy; but the fever turned, and he went to sleep and slept two days steadily, and when he woke up he was as bright as a button. 1 did not see mv new friend for two days. He had overexcited himself, and the result wa3 solitude for this length of time, I roamed the fields, and haunted tho woods, read, wrote and thought. I never did so much thinking in so short a space of time, with such unsatisfactory results. " Where under the sun have you been all this afternoon ?" said grand mother, as at sunset the second day I dragged into the kitchen porch. You have torn a great slit in your dress, Sue, and you look like a fright. I have wanted you mor n your worth for the last three hours. "What are yoi making, grand mother?" " Panada." "How many quarts of this stuff does your patient consume, Mr. Ellis, in the course of twenty-four hours r " That is according to his appetite, Miss Saucebox." said a rich voice at my elbow; and there stood Wr. Alcott. They've sent lor me up to Jones'. Thev think the baby is dying." broke in grandmother, while I ttood blush, ing like an embarrassed school-girl "And I want you to keep house and take care' of him while I go up awhile and see if I can do anything to help them." And the provoking old lady tripped away as composedly' as if it were the most commonplace thing in the world for a voune lady to be left with the care of an invalid, and the said invalid a man and a stranger. few minutes sulhced to p.ase me en tirely at my ease, and no veteran hos- pital nurse was ever more compcsedly exacting than 1 in my new roie, Grandmother's orders were explicit David niusn't think of such a thing as readinar aloud, and he must He on the lounge in the sitting-room until she re- tui ne J. Such an evening as that was ! I read to him out of Auerbach and this took usnaturaly totheHhine and then found that my companion had traveled among all my lavorite European cuies, What wonderful pictures he drew me of the Campaina, the Coliseum and the Forum! How exquisite was the ulav of the moonlight on the Sabine mountains, and bow charmingly pic turesque the sketch of the old Homan ramparts. In some places bare am: black with age, with here and there patches of scarlet and green made of poppies and ivy. Grandmother came all too soon. Sh never was unwelcome before, mx weeks of this dolce far niente life and then There is no good of life but love but love! )Vhat eltte louks good U tt uie biiadu Jlymf from love Lgvegddsit, glvej it worthj I knew as well as tho queen and poor Constance what there was in life worth living for wliat love meant. Not one word was spoken between us of the one sub ji ct that all-engrossed us, and yet I knew that his heart was as irrevocably in my possession as was mine in his. One day, when he was fully well, we attended a little picnic in the grove down tho road. "AVe'll have a good timo to-day, Lorchen." he said, as we made our pre parations in the morning. "1 will take out my scrap-book, and when the others are engaged, and won't missus, we'll wander oil by ourselves, and en joy after our own fashion won't we, Lorchen ?" "Lorchen!" How that word thrilled mo! and how It epitomised the tender purity of his regard for me ! Oh ! dav long to be remembered I Oh 1 day of heartache and agony inde scribable ! Sleep Hip soul in one pure love, And it will last thee long. What kind of a love was my soul steeped in? Ay! love has its worm wood and gall, as well as its honeyed sweetness. A party of friends David's friends came down from the city, and as we were walking slowly into the grove thev came upon us from tho depot road. I had David's arm. It was my arm I knew It and we should walk that way forever. Greetings and in troductions were over. Shall I ever forget the face of that man who aimed straight for my soul with his poisoned arrow r walking up to Davids suie, with a contemptible familiarity, he said: " Saw your wife last week, Dave." " Ah," replied my companion, per. f er tly at his ease. Corning down in the o ociocK train, if possible." "Good," replied David; and then followed inqu'u ies about various friends in a thoroughly cool and self-possessed manner. It seemed to me that my heart stopped beating. The hand on his arm involuntarily clenched itself, and there it remained until we arrived at headquarters, a little round bum h of cords and knuckles. " You won't be gone long, Lorchen ?" inquired David, as I moved away, os tensibly to help the committee of ar rangements to decide where the tables should be set. "What's that you call her?" my mortal enemy asked, Inquisitively. " Lorchen," replied David. "Why, that's a Dutch name, isn't it? I thought she looked like a for eigner." I heard no more, waited for no more, but watched my opportunity, and when sure that no eyes were upon me, struck the pat'.i leading to the road, and in less than an hour was home again in Grandmother Ellis sitting- room. Oh ! grandmother ! grandmother I What misery has your terrible indis cretion brought me !" I groaned aloud for grandmother had gone away to spend tne day. There at the foot of the lounge were his slippers there on the back of the lolling-chair his dressing-gown. I could not turn my eyes without beholding fresh evidences or his precious personality. What should I do? I could not leave until grand mother returned. Such a blow as that I felt sure the old lady would never rally from. I must suffer and keep it to myself, and get away at the earliest possible moment. In my agony I threw myself upon the lounge, and buried my head In the pillow the pillow upon which his head reclined so often the head I had so foolishly called mine. After awhile tears re lieved the heated brain, and I fell asleep. I dreamed that I was in the water. I could not stir. Huge waves threatened to submerge me. Just beyond on the bank, almost within speaking distance, stood David, s beautiful woman by his side hia wife 1 "David I David! take hold of my hand! Don't you see I'm sinking?" I cried out in my terror. " Wake up, Lorchen ! wake up !" said a familiar voice at my side. " Here are my hands, dear. They are both yours not one, Lorchen, but both. Do vou understand that? ' "Hut, David but " " But what? Can it bo that my lit tle brown bird was scared home be cause of " " Because of your wife," I managed to say, with his face close to mine. " It wai my chum he meant, Lor chen ! That's what wo always call them at college. I'll get a divorce from that fellow, diar, if you will promise to bo my own real wife?" And I did. Uelyraciu.- Lucky Lawyer. An Austin lawyer caught a tramp In his office stealing some law books, which the latter intended to pawn Seizing the intruder by tha collar, the lawyer exclaimed: " You scoundrel, I'll have you triei and sent to the penitentiary." Let go my netk, colonel. If yoi are going to have nie tried, I reckon ' had better engage you for my lawyer as you have the luck to be on hand." Hi'tiiiju. One year ago there were not ova 200 people in Dickey county, L'akota Now the population is from $.000 t 5yp, and rapidly Increasing, A GREAT LUMBER REGION. TIMBER CTJTTIHO XV THE MILLS Or THE iAOIlTAW VALLET. Maw a 111 8w Log I Ilnndled The Gang Haw nd Its Swift Work Mechanical De vice of the Industry. A long while b?fore one reaches Saginaw, Mich., says a New York Ecening Post correspondent, the signs of the prevailing industry become ap parent. The streams are clogged with old slabs, browned and rotting logs, and chaotic masses of wooden debris from the size of a match up to the huge sawn beam which in some an cient flood has escaped its bonds. In the fields still remain the tree stumps or piles of sawdust a dozen feet high, marking the old site of a sawmill now removed because the material that fed It has been cut away. But all these initial symptoms of the lumber region are eclipsed and forgotten when the Saginaw river is reached and with it the busy center of the industry. Por sixteen miles down to Bay City, near Lako Huron, the stream flows between wooden strands. The eye strains it self in vain to see beyond the lumber horizon that stretches east and west The yellow waters, perhaps two hundred feet wide, pass first between continuous booms, each Inclosing its army of giant logs. These booms reach far above Saginaw, and if we include tributaries of the river and count both sides, make up a reach of log posts seventy-live miles long. Next to the logs and on the bank proper rise, most impressive of all, the tracts of sawn lumber. Tile on pile they rise on either side for sixteen miles up and down the stream, covering acre after acre until the wooden monotony be comes oppressive. Now and then the wooden strand becomes thinner only to rise again to more imposing height and width around a new cluster of mills. These mills, often of grand propor tions, spring from thpir lumber heaps as a giant cf fairy story looms amid the disintegrated bones of his victims. Their tall iron chimneys belch black smoke, the rattling saws cut the air with their distant rasp, and the sense of industrial activeness is filled out by the hives of workmen swarming over the lumber hills and loading them, by slow but steady toil, into barges whose hulls rival the capacity of a Cunarder. Along this stretch or! sixteen miles of the Saginaw river there are cut annually a billion feet of lumber, and last year the figures went fifty millions higher than that amount. Since to most readers these figures are a vague immensity of numbers, let us try to simplify them by an illustration. The Saginaw mills turn out each year so mu 'li lumber, large and small, that if it were ail cut in inch-thick boards, eacbof them one foot wide, and then these boards were placed end to end, they would reach about 200,000 miles. or four times around our planet. The product, to put the Illustration a little aillerently, would supply lumber enough for a fence four times around the world, made of solid wooden pots, with a double row of boards, each six Inches wide. Up tho Saginaw in a wild region, reached either by the river or its tribu taries, the great pine saw log, olten three feet in diameter, has its birth. Pine forests, now rapidly thinning out, oncecoveredsever.il thousand square miles around the headwaters. Enter ing that lumber region in the late autumn, the lumbermen establish camps, round which the whole winter long the axes resound, the ta'l trunks fall, and in sections are rolled to the adjacent streams for the spring floods to bear away. Floating down to the main river the " boom men " pick out each other's logs, as idenMfied by the brand, and gather them inside of the booms, which may bo curtly described as long tree trunks chained together at the ends, often inclo.-ing a smooth water surface of several acres. The coves of the Saginaw called locally "bayous," a term borrowed from the lower Mississippi are spe ially adapted for the gathering ami organi zation of these log armies. The mili tary metaphor, indeel, has peculiar fitness here, for the logs are mustered side by side in companies held together by a rope fastened to each log by a do vice not unlike the domest'c clothespin. As the logs down stream are worked up by the tireless mills, these upper booms are drawn upon for more, until tho freezing river finds them quite empty, and another winter comes onto yield its fresh supply. But the saw log's story becomes most dramatic as it nears fie mill aid, loosed from the restnVning rope, is steered into the glade of cj en water that leads up to the wooden slide. Enter now the great lumber mill, and we shall be in at the saw lug's 'eath. Down the slide on a wooden railroad runs a heavy track, litte I with two cross lines of heavy iron teeth. With a plunge it dashes below the water, still holding its pla':o on tho rails. Then three giant logs are floated above it. At a signal the steam is let on. tho machinery reversed, the strong chain holding the truck tightens, and the truck itself begins to ascend. The sharp teeth catch the logs which in a trice are lifted dripping from the water, whisked up like twigs a hundred feet to the mill, and rolled oil opposite the first set of saws. These saws are two in number; one set below in of the buzz variety, perhups six feet In diameter, a4 cutting; thereforH through a three- foot log; but as this semi-diameter is ! often insufficient for a big log, a sec ond and smaller buzz," placed above and in front of the first, cuts the slice, which otherwise might still hold fast the slab. One of the largest logs weighs a number of ton and human strength alone would never suffice to turn it after ono of its sides has been "slabbed." Just here comes In a beautiful piece of powerful mechanism. At the touch of a lever a stout beam, armed with iron teeth, rises by the forest Titan's side. It snatches the wood, and in less time than words can tell it the log i3 tumbled over, and the framework. rushing back and forth with amazing speed, has driven the edges of the tree athwart the saws, until the once rough stick stands forth asymmetrical square. Then, in another instant it is shifted before the "gang," a set of ordinary upright saws placed an inch apart, and often with thirty or even thirty-five blades. Below an ordinary circular planer revolves in front of the gang and smooths the lower edges of the boards. The immense piece of timber is run through in a few moments, and what was live minutes before a rough tree trunk has passed into the inch boards of commerce. Nor does the work end here; for the slabs are passed to anew machine, which grasps them with almost human intelligence, and whatever part of them can be made so become laths. Other machines take the harder woods, ash, elia or oak, and covert them with equal speed into staves, barrel heads or shingles ; and finally the otherwise useless debris passes to the furnaces to feed the fires of the engine. Sometimes, particularly in the more m: dern mills the routine as described 13 varied by lifting the logs from the river on an endless chain, and a num ber of minor mechanisms fill out the devices by which the lumber is cut and distributed. One ingenious machine, working double emery wheels, sharpens the buzz saws on both sides of the teeth during a single revolution, and requires no attention b?yond simply the fastening of the saw upon it and tho unfastening after the work 13 clone. Another flattens out, by a clever mechanical expedient, the teeth of the saw, so as to cut a wider rent and prevent clogging as the cut be comes deeper; finally, a system of ele vated railroads takes the lumber-laden trucks and distributes the boards at the points in the yard or on the wharf whence they are to be shipped. Some additional conception of the size and importance of the industry may be de rived from the fact that the Michigan Central company takes away from one station here a hundred car-loads of lumber for each day of the working season, to say nothing of the largo quantities shipped from the river by the Flint and l'ere Marquette railroad line and even large shipments by the lake barges. A Bat Can See With Its Wlnirs. There is a singular property with whit h the bat is endowed too remark able and curious to be passed altogether unnoticed. The wings of these crea tures consist of a deli ate und nearly naked membrane of great s ze consid ering the siz ) of the body, but, beside this, tho nose is, in sme varieties, fur nished with a membraneous foliation, and others the t xternal membrane jus euri are greatly developed. These membraneous tissues have their srsi bility so high thit s ninth ng like a new sense is thereby developed, as if in a:d or the sense or sight. ine modified impressions which the air, in quiescence or in mot on, however slight, coinrjunicates. tho treinul us jar of its currents, its t 'inperature, tho in lescribabb conditions of suc'.i por tions of air as are in contact with different I o lies, nre all apparently appreciated by the bat. If th eyes of a bat be covered up, or if he bo cruelly deprived of sight, it "will pursue its coins ; about a room with a thou ar.d obstacles in its way, avoid ing them all ; neither dashing a.'ainst a wall nor tun- hiug the smallest thing, but threading its w. y with the utmost preei.-ion and quickne-s, and passing adroitly through aj e.tures or intcr spices of threads placed puposily across thtt apartment. This endow ment, which almost exceeds belief, has been abundantly demonstrated. Foie tan IStnum. Effect of Tobacco on Boys. Tr. (1. Decaisne has had in his charge thirty-eight youths, Irom nine to lilteen years of age, who are addicted to smok'iig, and has made known some interesting results concerning the ef fects of tobacco upon 'Aii-so boys. The extent to which tobacco was used varied, and the effects were of course unequal, but were very deeithd in twenty-seven cases. With twenty-two of the boys there was disturbance of cir. u'a'.ion. palpitation of the heart, imperfect digestion, sluggishness of intellect, and to some etent ; craving for alcoholic stimulants. Twelve patients suffered from 1 1 -cling of the nose, ten had constant nightmare, four had ul crated mouths, and ono became a victim of consumption. The symp toms were most marked in the young est children, but among those of equ;il ago the beat fed were least affected, hleven boys stopped smoking, and were cured within a year. A laughing stock A collection of good jokes.-Ho$ton Courltff DAWN. fhe dawn Cits from somber fold Of the mantle of night, and with tinU of goli Illumines the ekies ; And as he beckoned his myriad hosts The night with its weird and spectral ghosts Before him flies. Be sends the breath of the morning air To drive the wolf to his tangled lair, Out of man's sight; A.nd the iterpent crawls with a hissing sound Back to his caverns nnder the ground, To await the night. He speeds the wii d, with its mnrmnri of rest, To awaken the robins within their nest, And bid them sing ; And tells it to pause as it wanders away, To caress the leaves and the flowerets gay, And their perfumes fliug. He sees a lily, with low bent head. Drooping and withered and almost dead, Out in the street ; He sends the raindrops tenderly down To wipe from its face the dnst of the town With their silvery feet. The breath of the flowers and the early mora Touches a mother whose child, newly-born Lies on her breast. She laoks through the vine-wreathed window pane At the glittering drops of falling rain, Filled with rest And he spreads on the face of the little guest All the rainbow hnes that he loves best ; And the mother's eyes Are fired with the holy mother-love (That is nearest kin to the angels above) And a sweet surprise. The light is gilding the tall tree tore That are Ind-Ui with myriad) of sparkling drops j One fieacy cloud Floats like a ship in the distance ftway, And the dawn making room for the fnll grjwn day, Lies in his shroud. EJJiie if. Land. IIUMOP. OF THE DAT. A fbiindpratnrm is n. hlo-h-trmed affair. A hog may be considered a good mathematician when it comes to square root. "Watermelons are here and the popu lation will soon double up. Aeto York Journal. People should inform themselves about the tariff. It is every man's duty. Picayune. To wash a mule safely, do it with a garden hose, and stand on the other . side of the fence while you do it. Vu:k. We are told that last year nearly 400 persons were killed by the wind in this country. This is probably a mild way of informing us that they were talked to death. Statesman. " Sponge underclothing is the latest sensation," writes a fashion scribe. It is nothing new. Tailors sponge every thing, and fashionable young men sponge the tailors. Picayune. A Syracuse soda fountain exploded the other day, breaking a young man's leg and his jaw. AVe have always tried to impress the female mind with the fact that the blame things were loaded. Hartford Post. An exchange informs its readers that servant girls are Hocking to China. American servant girls nlways were death on that kind of crockery. China needs to keep her weather eye open or the domestic may succeed in breaking her. Statesman. A L03 Angeles rancher has raised a pumpkin so largo that his two children use a half each for a cradle. This may seem very wonderful In the rural districts, but in this city three or four full-grown policemen have been found a-leep on a single beat. San Francisco Post. Mr. Bergh, the S. T. C. A. man, says it is cruelty to animals to catch fish with a hook. There wouldn't be much fun in fishing if a man had to dive under tho water and hold chlorofrom to a fish's nose until it became uncon scious, and then bit it on the head with a hammer. Norristown Herald. In North Brazil there are no pro fessional dressmakers, the finest ladies usually making their own costumes. When a man buys his wife a two-dollar dress he doesn't have to give her ten dollars to get it made. There are some things in .North Brazil worthy of imitation in this country. Norristown Herald. A young man dressed in the highest of fashion and with a poetio turn of mind, was driving along a country road and, upon gazing at the pond which skirted the highway, said : "Oh, how I would like to have my heated head in those cooling waters!" An Irishman, overhearing the exclamation, immediately replied : " Bedad, you might have it there and it wouldn't sink." Pretzel's H'e A7j. On (he Market. ."Well, what is the best thing on tho market this morning," inquired Jones of hi3 youthful partner the other day. The young man deliberately scratched bis head and replied : " Tho best thing I havo seen on the market since my experience in the ex rhange ii i pictj young Judy." rn yrtixibl'i. " '