Cijc crest llrpnMifoa RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Bqnare, one inch, one insertion... $1 OC One Square, one inch, one month 8 00 One Square, one inch, three months. . . 6 00 One Square, one inch, one year........ 10 00 Two Squares, one year , ... 18 00 Quarter Column, one year 90 00 Half Colnmn, one year M 00 One Column, one year. 10000 Trfignl notices at established rates. Marriage and death notices gratis. All bills for yearly advertisements collected quarterly. Temporary advertisement must be paid in advance. Job work, cash on delivery. m ftm.itnr.n ivaat wnmmsDAi, it J. E. WENK. Dmoe in Smearbangh A Oo.'i BniMin g ELM STREET, . TIONE3TA, PA. TKIIMH, ILSOPKIt YEAH. ji?thr??ffi rCeiVe1 fr ' ,h0rter PPri0d Oorrtwinnidenco solicited from itll psrtiof Uie VOL. IV1, NO. 19. TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 15, 1883. $1.50 PER ANNUM. THY LOVE. It brightens nil thu cruel gloom Tt a, c'o rnimd mo like n tomb, And iills my heart with summer bloom. It makes mo (juito forget t'10 pain That g.iof bin w o:ight within my brn.'n, An.l bring a t'ash ot joy nnin. It mate (hp d irliesf nirlit to mo More fhiiir than over day can I e, Tor iu my dreams I am with tl go. Ji nny 1'. l!i,ifltr, in Harper. UN TIIK SHEEP RANCH. A MONTANA SKETCH. A driving, blinding snow, the sky Bark and sullen, ;i wild wind sweeping over the plains, the iti.ttintains aidden from view by tho storm. '.am threw more pine logs on the fire, drew tether the red chintz cur tains at, tie small window of her " best room," and tried t make tilings a tri fle cozier in (lie laich cabin. Father will soon be. home," she iidf ho had fallen into the habit of talking to hers 'If tut in this lonfllv country, th's " new, far-We t." "lie J ill juit theslio-p in the corral early . .o-night it is so Bt-irmy." . A small clocc on a shelf, which lerved n a mantel, and which was Si aped vit'.i somo simple but pretty Miintz, like tho curtain, ntruck four, -ant sighed a little as she beard it. How many times had she listened to that f aino sihery chime it was a f retty little Fi end; clock in h ippier flays in tho dear East ! Its musical found recalled so much ! brought back tho pretty, old-fashioned Mew England homo so plainly. How her dreams had turned out! When her lather cam j to her one fall .Hay and tad very gravely, " Zara, I tave lost money. This place must bo old. I shall go West," her heart had leapt tl with foolish joy. tsho ha 1 (reamed so often of the West; she Inew it was a paradise, so tree and wild. "Hnigliiug it" would be so Very pleasant ! Had sho not real in looks al.out it? So s'.io had only imiletl at her father's grave face and ixelainnd: "I am so glad we are going West I "We sluill make our lortune . there, I knowj She was igcr then barely sev- cnteen. S.' jftas twenty-two now bad been joughing it" five years. She was1 xfit r. The lovely New England home had oeen sold, all debts paid--for Zara it sslyn's lather was strictly honorable , and father and daughter had sought the West tho great, undeveloped ti r - tifory of Montana, Mr. Josslyn's re- jnaining capital, which was not large, 04J heen invested in sheep. years came and went the little flock of sheep grew larger, and money came in a little more plentifully; but Mr. Josslyn had not made "a for tune ' yet, and life on a ranch was not easy. Zara pined, se r tly, for the l'.ast. alienated these tlesolate plains, the barren "foot-hills,' the deeply-furrowed. SnoWV mountains, so tlillprenr. from thewooded Mew England hills. AgitrSrSie little gi;t clock chimed this time, five. "T wonder father does not come !" exclaimed Zara, rising from a low foot-bench by tho tire, where she had been sitting thinking for the last hour. She went to the window, and parting the curtains vainly tried to peer through the darkness. The wind moaned and wailed, the snow blew against the window-pan". Zara shiv ered nnd drew back. As sho did so the caught the sound of voices. Lamp in hand she hurried to the door. "Go right in," she heard her father say; "don't wait for me. .lust tell her you are from the East that will be sufficient recommendation !" Then Zara saw her father turn toward the barn leading another horse beside his own, and a tall man, well lnutlled, came striding up the path from the gateway. "Mayl come in?" askd the stran ger, pausing for a moment at the door and raising a fur cap. "Certainly," leplied Zara, and re treated into the warm, lire-lit room. The tall man followed, and quickly divesting himself of his snow-covered outer wrappings, drew near the blaz ing fire. My namo is Storey William Sto rey," ho said, smiling; " and your fath er advises mo to tell you that I am from tho East." Zara Bmilcd also. "Father knows how glad I am always to see any one from homo," she 6aid. "1 have been in Montana, however, all this fall," Mr. Storey went on to say, "and 1 come hero nearly every fall to hunt. Montana is good bunting ground. But I have lingered a little too long among the ltockies this time ; winter has overtaken me J" "It is our first real snowstorm, but it makes ono feel it ought to ba Janu ary instead of November !" Zara said, with a sigh, as a gust of wind beat wildly again-t the ranch cabin. " ou tlo u )t like the We.it?" asked her companion, glancing up at the young girl's somewhat sad face, "No; 1 thouv 1 1 should like it, but it is very tUsaj,, uniting." Then sud denly, her face k jndling: " Have you ever been in Maine r Have you ever passed through .1 little town called Laurel r" she askt i eagerly. Yes, to both questions." replied Storey, ngiin sniiUcit. "I stopped pver night op.ee at Ift ' my way to Mount Desert ono summer. It is a lovely little nook." "Oh, is it notl" cried tho voting girl, with almost a quiver in her "voice. " I lived there once. I was so happy there 1" As sho spoke her father threw open tho front door and camo in, well whitened by the storm. Zara hastened t help him off with his great, shaggy, buffalo-skin coat, and then drew another chair to the fire fcr him. Almost her first words were : "Father, Mr. Storey has been to Laurel I" Mr. Josslyn laughed. " You couldn't have been to a better place, according to this foolish child," ho said, addressing his guest. Then Zara slipped away, leaving the two men to enjoy the crackling pine logs while she prepared something hot for supper. In a short time she re appeared and f aid : ' We use our kitchen for a dining room. Will you come to supper.please ? ' Storey rose immediately, and with his host followed the young girl into a low-ceiled but exquisitely ne it -room. Zaia presided nt the head of the small round dining-tablo, and poured iragrant collee into quaint, real china cups. " I heso came from home, she said. proudly, at she handed William Storey ono of the dainty bluo and white treas ures. Tho evening was spent in pleasant chatting, andp is-ed so delightfully to the young gin that Bho fairly stared at tho little clock when it struck 11. A I ed was made up in the "best ro in," as Mr. Josslyn's cramped shed l edroom, opening, as Zara's did, out of tho kitchen, was not deemed suffi ciently comfortable f.r the guest. And when William Storey fell asleep that night ho dreamed of the little red- curtained room in which he lay, and saw Zara's pretty, girlish, face with the lire-glow upon it, just as he haJ seen it when awake. The next morning the sun shone brightly, brt till about tho ranch lay the snow in gleaming white drifts. " You had better remain with us to day," said Mr. Josslyn - after breakfast, glancing out the window as he spoke. " I should like to," said Storey, "but I think.! ought to go back to Boze man. My room-mate (another East ern man, Miss Josslyn) will bo looking for me. If you will let me, I will ride out In a day or two and see you again, for next week I go home." Zara gave a little longing sigh at his last words. lie was going home. How she wished she could go I Later she stood with her father in the doorway and watched their guest depart. The sunlight fell full upon her wistful young face, and Storey thought how very pretty sho wasashe rode away. In a few days he returned, as he had said he would. Zara received him with evident pleasure. " Father has gone to look after the sheep," she said, " but he will be home to dinner. lie will be very glad to see you, 1 know." Storey sat down on the rude, home made lounge, nnd Zara took her favorite seat, the foot-bench by tho fire. " I go home to-morrow," said Storey "go home, I mean,; to your dear East," smilingly. ' So soon I" cried tho young girl. " I am coming back next fall for another hunt. May I come and see you then?" " 1 ou will never come, said Zara simply. " I will never come I Why?" asked the young man in surprise. " You will forget all about us in that time a whole year from now." " Suppose I don t forget, will you be glad to see me when 1 come?" inquired Storey with sudden eagerness, and leaning toward Zara so as to get a better view of her half-averted face. ' Yes, I shall I e glad to see you." The answer sounded a little cold, but Storey wa not dissatisfied, some how. It was late in the day not until afttr dinner, some time, that the young man took his departure. He rode away with no little reluctance, and Zara lingered long in the doorway watching him. Tho short Montana summer was barely over the Cottonwood trees were still yellow and the air was yet quite warm and pleasant, when one af ternoon, toward sunset, Zara looked up from her sewing and saw a tall, hand some man coming toward tho house on horseback. "Miss Josslyn I" cried a well-remembered voice. Zara rose, trembling a little, from tho doorsteps where she had been sit ting. Sho wore quite a joyous ex pression, Storey thought, secretly pleased, as he left his horse to graze by the gate and hastened toward the young girl. " Are you glad xv see me? ' he in quired, eagerly, taking Zara's hand. "You know I am glad 1" she vc claimed, her face Hushing under lils earnest gaze. " Father and I lrire talked of you so often," she went on; " you know our life is so quiet and monotonous here that your coming to us last fall was quite an event." " I am very glad. My coming to you was quite an event to me, I assure you. In all my ramhlings since I lelt you, during the gay season at the seaside this summer even I could not get this lonely littltj ranch out of my head, somehow. Your wistful face haunted me indeed it did 1 I grew unreasonably impatient to see well, Montana again. I tried to reason with myself ; you had for gotten mo, most likely, I thought ; but in vtiin I I pictured you about your every-tlay life could see the shadow deepening in your eyes and one day I cried aloud: 4Itisashame for so young a creature to be buried 1' And a few hours later I wa3 on the train, bound for Montana I" William Storey had spoken with no little eagerness and excitement, and as Zara sat beside him on the steps, and listened, her cheeks had grown a deeper crimson. She did not speak at first when he had finished, butcontinued looking off, across tho plains, at the fast sinking sun. At length she said, her voice a littlo unsteady : " I am so glad you did come back." "Zara I" cried her companion, im petuously, " I camo ba.k to tell you I love you I I think I must have loved you before I left you last fall, but I had always scorned the very idea, even, of love at first sight, and I had only met you twice. But when once away from you separated from you, with thousands of miles between us I became impatient to see you. Your 'dear East' had no charm for me. I longed for your lonely ranch ; I rea soned with myself many times, but it was of no use I realized that I loved you ; I was foolish enough, Zara, to think I could te ich you to love me." The sun had quite gono now, the mountains shone darkly purple against the clear amber of the sky, the air was fresh and just a little chill. Zara shivered ; from excitement though, more than cold. "Have you nothing to say to me? Is my case then so hopeless a one ?" asked William Storey, taking one of the young girl's hands in his and look ing gravely in her face. "Will you not bo sorry for this? Are you quite sure it is love, not pity, you feel for me?" Zara ventured, tremulously. "I shall never be sorry I love you! Fity would not cause me to ask you to be my wife ! All I want to make me as perfectly happy as one can be in this world is your love. Can you will you learn to love me, Zara?" "I do love you I" The sunset glow faded ; the stars gleamed out ; a great, yellow moon rose over the eastern hills and flooded the valley with a brilliant light. When Mr. Josslyn returned home he was considerably surprised. There was no supper ready ; the lire in the "best room" was not lit, as it was wont to be these cool fall evenings ; the front door stood wide open, and Zara usually prudent Zara was sitting on the steps, bare-headed, utterly regardless of the night air, talking very earnestly to William Storey ! Only ono short year, yet what a change it had made in Zara's young life I No longer, when 6he looked from her window, did she see desolate, bleak, sage-grown plains, belted by snow-crowned mountains. A most lovely flower garden, framed in by meadow lands, yellow with golden rod, through which ran a clear little brook, and bounded by blue, wooded hills in the distance, met her delignted eye. How very happy sho was I Almost a year had she been AVilliam Storey's wife; almost a year since the quiet little wedding at Bozeman had taken place, and she ha 1 left the great territory the wild "new far-West" forever. She was in Laurel now, in her old home, bought for her by her husband shortly after their arrival East. Soon Zara's father was coming to her; that wtis another pleasure in store for her. The sheep quite a numerous Hock now were to be left with a com petent herder, Mr. Josslyn having every thing arranged to his satisfaction. The fortune predicted by Zara in her girlish enthusiasm had not quite been realized as yet, but Mr. Jcsslyn was by no means a poor man any longer, and was heard often to assert triumphantly that " a sheep ranch is certainly a paying investment if well managed!" The Continent. People Who Disappear. Five hundred men. women and chil dren disappear in New York every year and are reported as mysteriously lost. Those who read newspapers hear of their disappearance, but only in exceptionable instances of their re covery. What becomes of tbir great herd of absentees? Do they ever re turn? Or, once sucked uuder in the mad whirlpool of feverish metropoli tan life in which only the sum, not the individual, counts, are (hey nevermore east up to the surface and to the sight of men? The question is answered by the police boiks. I'nder an improved aystetn of recording missing persons and following up the inquiry at stated intervals, data have accumulated since the beginning of the present year that justify the conclusion that live-sixths of those sought for turn up, and that when they do the mystery of their ab sence is reduced to a very small mini mum. Aiw York llnald. m - 1 What clasH of men have the most patience y ruvsicimis, of cyur.- , TIIK BAD BOY CETS A FROG. AJ7D FTTBJ THE LITTLE JUMPER IB HIS PA'S BED. The Old Gentleman Thinks He Is Ntrnck With I'nralynla and Yells Six Kinds of Murder. " L'ncle Ezra says pa used to play .tricks on everybody," remarked the itad boy to the grocery man. " I may ) e mean, but I never played jokes on blind people, ai pa did when he was a l)oy. Uncle Ezra say3 ont e there was a party of four blind vocalists, all girls, gave an entertainment at the town whore pa lived, and they stayed at the hotel where pa tended bar. Another thing, I never sold rum, either, as p.t did. Well, before the blind vocalists went to bed, pa caught a lot of frogs and put them in the beds where the girls were to sleep, and when the poor blind girls got into b.d the frogs hopped all over them, and the way they got out was a caution. It is bad enough to have frogs hopping all over girls that can see, but for girls that are deprived of their sight, and don't know what anything is, except by the feeling of it, it looks to me like a pretty tough joke. I guess pa is sorry now for what he did, 'cause when Uncle Ezra told the frog story, I brought home a frog and put it in pa's bed. l'a has b3en afraid of paralysis fory ars, and when his leg or anything gets asleep, he thinks that is the end of him. Before bedtime I turned the conversation onto paralysis, and told about a man about pa's age having it on the west pidc, and pa was nervous, and soon after he retired I guess the frog wanted to get acquainted with pa, 'cause pa yelled Bix kinds of murder, and we went into his room. You know how cold a frog is. Well, you'd a dide to see pa. He laid still and said his end ha I come, and Uncle Ezra asked him if it was the end with a he id, or the feet, and pa told him paralysis had marked him for a victim, and he could feel that his left leg was becoming dead. He said he could feel the cold, clammy hand of death walking up him, and hti wanted ma to put a bottle of hot water to his feet. Ma got the bottle of hot water and put it to pa's feet, and the cork came out and paid said he was dead sura enough, now, be cause he was hot in the extremitii s, and that a cold wave was going up his leg. Ma asked him where the cold wave was, and he told her, nnd she thought she would rub it, but she began to yell the same kind of murder pa did, and she said a snake had gone up her sleave. Then 1 thought it was time to stop the circus, and x reached up ma's lace sleeve and caught tho frog by the leg and pulled it out, and told pa I guessed he had taken my frog to bed with him, and I showed it to him, and then he said I did it, and a boy that would do such a thing would go to perdition ai sure as preachin', and I asked him if he thought a man who put frogs in tl e beds with blind girls, when he wa a boy, would get to heave i, and then he told me to lite out, and I lit. I guess pa will feel better when Uncle Ezra goes away, cause he thinks Uncle Ezra talks too much about old times. Well, here comes our baby wagon, and I guess pa ha done penance long enough, and I will go and wheel the kid aw hile. Say, you call pa in, after I take the baby wagon, and tell him you don't know how he would get along without such a nice boy as me, and you can charge it in our next month's bill. ' I'tch's Hun. An Ape's Kevcnje. Apes, when their anger is aroused, are very dangerous creatures, as they will dare almost anything in order to avenge their wrongs. Many of their deeds of revenge are well known, but the following anecdote, which comes from Italy, is as amusing ns any wq liave yet heard of. 11 Hosso, a dfs ciple of Angelo, resided in Florence in a house overlooking a garden belong ing to some friars. 11 Basso possessed an ape which was on friendly terms with one of his apprentices called Battistoni, who empl yed the animal to steal the friars' grapes, letting it down into tho adjacent garden and drawing it up again by a rope. Th grapes being missed a watch was set, and one day a frihr caught the ape iu tho very act. lie t"ied to inlli t a thrashing, but the up got tho best of it and escaped. L Vo.-so, however, was sued, and his pet sentenced 1 1 wear a weight on its tail. Lut few days elapsed ere the culprit had an opportunity of avenging this insult. While the friar was performing mass at a neighboring church, tho ape climbed to th;1 patt of tlio roof under which the altar stood, and to u-e Yasari's words. " performed so lively a dance with the weight on his tail that there was not a tile or vase left unbroken ; an I on the friar's return a torrent of lamentations was heard that lasted three days." Harper' lottnj L'e'iple. The Law About Drawbridges. In reply to an inquiry on tho sub ject, the secretary of the treasury States that no special acts of Congress regulate the conditions for opening drawbridges on all navigable waters of this cjuntry, but that if a private eiti i en be aggrieved by the closing of a draw, he has bis action at common law lor damages; and po.-sib'.y, understate statutes, a drawbridge which Wits not properly and seasonably opened might leiadicttd us a nuisance. -' SELECT SIFTINGS. In some part3 of Siberia a wife costs eight dog3. To short-sighted persons the moon appears to have a blue fringe. Chemical analysis shows that the human brain is eighty per cent, water. A Spanish grandee has an entire bedroom suite of furniture made of glass. A London physician . says that the English sparrow is subject to the Smallpox. A watch made entirely of iron and In perfect running order was exhibited in a Wocestershire fair recently. Mrs. Mary Austin, of Washington, Ga., died recently. She had been the mother of forty-four children, includ ing six sets of triplets. Color blindness i3 more common among Quakers than among persons of any other religious faith, which Is supposed to be because of their indif ference to color. The white perch of the Ohio are noted for the musical sounds they make. The sound 13 much like tha produced by a silk thread placed in a window where the wind blows acrossit. An island about three acres in ex tent, recently discovered oil the coast of California, is almost paved with the eggs of sea fowl, nnd the discoverers think that it is the greatest bird's nest tn the world. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, toler ance; toafriend, your heart; to your, child, a good example; to a father, def erence; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to your self, respect to all men, charity. The great sandstone anvil of the mound builders is in possession of the CincinnatiS oclety of Natural History. It was found some miles above Iron ton, Mo., by Dr. II. II. Hill, a success ful collector of American relics. This anvil is composed of very sharp grit, contains over 100 depressions, weighs about 500 pounds, and measures eight feet nine inches at its greatest circum ference. In Catholic and Frotestant countries, the year l'JOO will not be a leap-year, they all having adopted the Gregorian calendar. In countries where the Creek church is established (Russia and Greece) the old Julian calendar still holds, and those cjuntries will count it a leap-year. After February, WOO, therefore, the difference between the two calendars, which is now twelve days, will become thicteen days, and will remain so until 2100, the year 200J being a leap-year in both the Julian and Gregorian calendars. Tha rule for leap-year may be thus stated according to the Gregorian calendar, which diit'ers from the Julian only in a special treatment of the century years : All years whose index-number ( liiQJ Is the index-number oi the pre. ent year) is divisible by four are leap years, unless (1) their index-numbet is divisible by one hundred (century years). In that case they are not leap years, unless ("2) their index-number is divisible by lour Hundred, in which case they are leap-years. Thus, 1710, 1800, FJU0 and 2100 are not leap-years, while 1G00, 2000 and 2400 are. Something About Tenuis. Although the revival of the ancient game of teunis, which is now generally known as lawn tennis, is of recent growth, the sport is simply a molifica tion of the pastime familiar to tha English people in the time of Shakes, peare. They, in turn, borrowed tha. game from the French. There can ba little doubt that the sport arose out of "hand-ball," or, as it was called by tin French, palm-play, so-called because the exercise consisted in receiving Jhs ball and driving it back again with the. palm of the hand. In former timej they played with the naked hand, theq with a glove. Afterward it beeauiB tho fashion to bind cords and tendon around the hands to make the ball re bound more forcibly. From this habit the racquet derived its origin. During the time of Charles 1. hand tennis waj exceedingly popular in France, being played for "largo sums of money. So strong was the passion for betting upon tho game that the nobility, aftei losing all they had about them, would pledgo their wearing apparel. At ctrJing to l.aboureur, a French histo rian, the Duke of Burgundy, "having lost sixty francs at palm-play with the, Duke of Bourbon, Messire William d Lyon and Messire Guy do hi Tri nieuille, and not having money enough to pay them, gave his girdle as a pledge for the remainder, aud shortly after ward he left tho same girdle with tha Count D'Eu for eighty francs which ho lost at tennis." Indeed, it was very common in those times to negotiate girdles instead of bonds in bitting transactions. In the fifteenth century regular and fixed rules were introduced in the game for the first time, and covered courts were erected. In tho sixteenth century tennis courts were quite com. mon in England, and the sport was liberally encouraged by tho sovereigns. In a work published by Hoole in ltio8 there is a picture of a tennis court, divided by a line stretched in the mid tile, and the players standing ou cither side with their racquets ready to re ceive ami return the ball, which thu rules of the game required to be struck oyer tbe liw,Auwi-un yuctn. MOTH-EATEN. I had a beantifal garment, And I laid it by with care; I folded it cloee with lavender leaves In a napkin fine and fair. " It is far too costly a robe," 1 gold, "For one like me to wear." So never at morn or evening, I put my garment on; It lay by itself nndor clasp and key In the perfumed dusk alone, Its wonderful broidery hidden, Till many a day had gone. There were gnests who came to my portai. There were friends who sat with me, And, clad in soberest raiment, i bore them compary; I knew I owned the beautiful robe, Though its splendor none might see. There where poor who stood at my portai, There were orphaned sought my care; I gave them tenderest pity, But had nothing beside to spare; I had only the beautiful garment, And the raiment for daily wear. At last, on a feast day's coming, I thought in my dress to shine; I would please myself with the luster Of its shifting colors fine; I would walk with pride in the marvel Of its rarely rich design. So out from the dust I bore it The lavender fell away And fold on fold I held it np To the searching light of day. , Alas I the glory had perished, ' While there in its place it lay.' . Who seeks for the fadeless beauty, Must seek for the use that seals To the grace of a constant bleaBlng . The beauty that nse reveals. For into tho folded robe alone, The moth with its blightning steals. Afaroaret.. Sangster. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Tampering with the maila-VThe co quette. ,. ? Oh, meet me by moonlight alona Blythely sang the fresh young bard . Who fainted when he heard the tone Of the dog in the back yard. The collegian's passport: "Nq, said the college man, "I don't care a copper whether I get a degree or not; Fve got my skull-and-crossbone3 pin and that's a passport into any society." Boston Transcript. He who says a "pair of stairs means only one stairs. He who speaks of a ladder might just as consistently say a "pair of ladders." It is only when you tumble downstairs that the steps double on you. "Is that about the right length, sir?" asked the skillful barber, as he finished cutting his customer's hair. ," I like the side3 nnd back," was the response; "but I wish you would make it a little longer on the top." One of the loveliest spectacles In this world is to watch the expression of rapture that passes over the face of the dude as he sucks lemon up through a straw, rolls his eyes and rubs his ears together at the back of his head. Z'ttc. It is said that the number of women who reach 100 years and upward is pearly double that of lbng-lived men. AVomen don't invent patent tire es capes and exhibit their workings. And they don't stay out so late o' night, teither, inhaling the miasma of the night air. Norrlstoicn Herald. The Popular Science Monthly has directions "how to act in a tornado," !but fails to tell a man how to comport himself in case he should hurriedly pass a lady friend about 2,000 test in the nir, both on the top wave of a cy clone. Would it bo proper to doff the hat, or would the cytlbne care for that littlo courtesy? Hartford Post. "The boat has turned over and drowned your son," said a man, ap proaching a fishing party, and address ing an old gentleman. "Great good ness!" exclaimed tho o!d man, Lurst Ing into tears. " lie was my hope in this life. He was the best boy on the place; and, beside that, ho had the baitcup with him. Arkansaw Truo eltr. "What influence has the moon on the tide?' the teacher asked Join Henry. And John Henry said it depended on what was tied ; if it was a dog it made him howl, and if it was a gate, it untie 1 it, just as soon as a cow or the young man came along. It is such things as this that make school-teachers want to lio down and die every day at 1 o'clock. Ilawkeyei Mis3 Jenny Marks, of Baltimore, won a sewing machine by making a guess at tho number of pills in a bot tle in a window. There were 2',100 pills in the bottle, and sho guessed 25,1'JO. There were over 5,1)00 guesses, and the worst ono was a guess of y.000,000. The man who guessed 11,000,000 was one of those fellows win ,get their education by reading gas meters. Ihrrkk. "I scream with affright when a mouse 0 Kiiea iu Hilit " Said a girly uiri to herafliuiioo, one eve. "iucreaui when a'ono in the darkness at home, And thus the monotonous sileic e re.ieve ; I toreaiu whuii iu be J that should auaktj all the dead. If uiy tlte; is disturbed by a horrid old ill earn, And when after tea, you drop iu 1 1 a k me To ctroll with you out iu the luouiuijht, 1 scream. , i ft'