HUMOROUS SKETCHES
The One lie Didn't Tnkr.
".Tamos I"
" Yes, pa."
" There were seven California pears
in (hat cupboard. Six of thorn are
gone. Do you know anything about
it?"
" I never took one of them."
"Sure?"
' Certain, pa. "Wish I may die, if "
"You wicked, bad boy; how often
liave I told you never to use. such an
expression? Here comes ma; lotus
see if fhe knows anything about it."
Mamma pays she saw James take nt
least live of them.
" You little rascal 1 How dare you
tell me you never took one, and hero's
only this little ono with the grub-eaten
Fide loft?"
"Oh, pa, don't hit me. I said I
didn't take ono of them and and
and that's the one I didn't take."
l'a relented.
Science Pint the Way.
Science has had a hard struggle, said
Urothor Gardner, at the Lime-Kiln
club, but she am now top of do heap
an' kin reward her frens an' forgive
her enemies. How do we know dat
do airth revolves on her axletroe,
same as de wheels of a wagin ? Sci
ence has told us. How do we know
how to cross de oshun ? Science pints
de way. How do we know dat de
great desert of Sa-hary wai once an
ocean ? Science has dug way down an'
foun' clam shells and sharks' jaw
bones. AVidout science we should be
a world widout overcoats in winter or
Body water in summer. AVe should fall
from harvest apple trees an' pick our
selves up widout knowin whe.iorgrab
itashun or agitashun made us cum
down instead of goin up. AVe should
see de moon, same as now, but some
would pay it was inhabited by mon
keys an' odders would have an idoah
dat it was a splendiferous locality for
a persimmon grove. De sun would
rise an' sot an' warp the shingles on de
roofs, but men would g) round bluflin'
fur bets dat. she wasn't fifty miles away
an was held in place by wires. De
troit FreePrtsi.
Trllii a Wit nee.
A lawyer had seen the story of the,
witness who was confident of his
accurate notion of time, and was re
quested to give his ideas of two
minutes. A watch was held, and at
the end of twenty seconds he declared
that two minutes had elapsed.
The lawyer resolved to try the ex
periment on a sailor in the hospital,
whose deposit, n he wai taking in
regard, to a collision, and tho time
which -.had elapsed alter the vcwel
left thd wharf. Tho sailor' answered,
"about ten minutes."
" Man," said the lawy( r, " how long
do you think ten m'nute.) to be?"
"Abput ten minutes."
Out came the lawyer's watch, as he
Eaid: "I'll tell you when to begin and
you tell me when the tea minutes are
up."
'. " Aye, aye, sir," said the sailor.
Tho lawyer stood with his lack to a
mantel on which a little clock was
lacing the sailor.
At'.er three minutes the lawver ex
claimed, "See here, are you going to
kep up here all clay?"
io auswer.
.The hand of the clock wns on the
exact . notch of ten minutes as the
sailor said, carelessly: "Guess tho time
inus' be about up."
"AVell," eaid tho lawyer, "of all
men, dying or alive, that 1 ever saw
you can measure time the best."
Topnoody.
AVhilo Mr. Topnoody was taking
breakfast the other morning he re
marked fo his wife:
V My dear, this is my birthday."
" AVell," she answered, " it isn't your
first one, is it?"
" Xo, not exactly, but I thought I'd
apeak of it anyway, as a reminder, if
you had anything to give me commem
orative of the occasion."
"I might give you a piece of my
mind for making me get up and build
the kitchen fire this morning."
"I don't think I want any. You've
given me as much already as you can
spare, I should think."
"Don't get excited, Topncody. May
be you can tell me what you'd like to
have me give you ?"
" AVell, my dear, I can easilv do
that."
"You think you can, do you?"
"I know it, my dear; but I don't
know whether you'd give it to me or
not."
"I can if I want to, I reckon."
" I don't know about that; you never
have given it to me yet, and t!ie
novelty of the gift, more than its in
trinsic cash value, is what prompts me
to ask it."
" Don't beat around the bush, Top
noody; what is it?"
"AVell, my dear, I'd like to have you
give me a rest."
Before Topnoody could get out of
the house he was sorry lie had ever
been blessed with a birthday. JAr-chant-Trartltr.
An EinbarrRMftina l'oeiiUm.
Years ago there lived in tho State of
New York the two brothers Thurston.
They were twins, and so closely rc-
eembled each other in appearance and
manner even the tonesot their voices
wwe alike that lew could tell John
lroni George. Their love for each other
was as intense as that which led
David to say of Jonathan: "Thy love
to me was wonderful, passing the love
of woman."
In their callow days they were asso
ciated witli an incident that combined
the ludicrousness of the Two Dromios
with the pathos of John Aldin's
courtship of l'riscilla for Captain
Standish.
George was engaged to a young lady
in a neighboring town, and made his
courting visits every Saturday night.
Jt happened ono Saturday that he was.
Ukea luddealy m, Jn a ep irit of xm
self-forgotfulnoss he asked his brother
John to take his place; John, for the
fun of the tiling, readily consented,
and promised to do his best.
Do was warmly received by the un
suspecting girl, nnd for a short time so
managed to play his part as to remain
undiscovered. J'ut many little secrets
exist between engaged couples, nnd one
such caused John's fall from his un
warranted position.
At last his future sister-in-law sur
prised him with the question:
" l?y tho way, George, have you got
it?"
"Got it?''
" Yes ; you know you promised to
show it to me."
" Oh, yes 1 AVell 1 never mind now.
Some other time will do just as well."
(Aside. ) " When George gets me into
such a scrape again, he'll know it I '
" But 1 want to see it now. You
promised I"
" Did I ? I don't remember anything
about it."
" A'ou don't? Well, I must say you
are the most careless, thoughtless I
don't believe you love me a bit I"
' Love you ! I "
" AVell, then, why don't you let mo
read it? Y'ou've got it with you, you
know you have."
" Bead it ! Must bo a book of some
kind," thought John.
" Tho printer hadn't finished tho
proof sheets when I loft the village,"
he said, thinking a " white lie" no
harm.
"Proof-sheets ! AVhat do you moan?
There's but ono, is there?"
" AVell, I am in for it now. I'm get
ting worse and worse. This comes of
putting yourself in other folks' places,"
sighed John, as he wiped the perspira
tion from his forehead.
"Oh, George, I never thought you
would deceive me so 1 After all that
has passed between us, too "
" AVell, I must confess I don't know
w hat you are talking about."
"You don't? AVhy, you know you
promised to show me the wedding
license tho next time you came. But "
(this in a freezing tone) " perhaps you
would like a release from tho engage
ment." This was too much for tho simple
hearted John, lie revealel his per
sonality and obtained forgiveness, but
it was a long time before tho fair
maiden would forgive her lover for his
cruel de -option.
Tin two brothers lived to lo old
men. Their mutual affection lasted to
the end of their lives, for one survived
the other only a few days.
Tornado s.
A tornado is engendered by tho meet
ing of two currents of air of different
temperatures and moving from op
posite, or ai least from different, direc
tions. The meeting of the air currents
give the rotary motion to the resultant
wind storm, and the cooling of the
warm current produces the clouds and
precipitation of moisture, and these,
together with tli3 rapid whirling of
the air around a center, develop the
startling electrical manifestations
which are incidental to these storms
and constitute a very large element in
their destructive agency. Tornadoes
are almost invariably developed in the
southwe-t quadrant of an area of
low barometric pressure. In almost
all case s, previous to the inception of
any given tornado tho wind has been
found blowing from a southerly quarter
snith of the c 'ntr.d area of the lowest
aerial pressure, and also from a north
erly quarter north of the same central
area of low pressure, for a period of
from live days to two weeks. In the
vast "area of frequency" comprising
the great basin west of the Mississippi,
and including Iowa, Missouri, Kansas
anel Nebraska, theso conditions may
prevail until the thermometric range
on opposite sides north and south of
tho central area frequently reaches
fifty degrees. AVith this north and
south thermal belt of high contrasts is
joined an immense range of country
containing nothing t oppose the free
sweep of air currents, and the un
hindered disturbance of atmospheric
equilibrium due to the contact of the
southeastern return trade winds from
the equatorial regions with the north
western winds from polar regions,
results in an enormous tornado center
in the states mentioned In this center
arise th"j May and June tornadoes
which have become a source of constant
tarror to tho people of this region.
There are two other larea3 of
frequency" in the United States Xew
York and Georgia. The first is due to
a similar contact of the warm winds
of the great lakes met and opposed by
the cold northerly winds of the Canadas.
From this center sprang tho AValling
ford(Conn.) tornadoof August i,187,
in which the contrasts of temperature
ranged from thirty to sixty degrees.
Tho Atlantic, or Georgian, center is
due, eif course, to the formation of a
similar thermal belt of high contrasts,
occasioned by tho warm, moist gulf
winds sweeping over the belated plains
of Georgia and Alabama, anel then com
ing in contact with the cool winds of
the Appalachian mountain system.
Here are hrn the great wind storms
anel cyclones that sweep northward
along the Alle-ghenies and wreck
destruction on the cities and shipping
of the Atlantic oast ot the United
States. Nt to York Eceuinrj Post.
lie Ttiok the Hint.
A sad-faced man, looking as though
he had recently lunched off a cholera
epide'mic, went into a Western news
paper sanctum and remarked :
" 1 hate to speak about it, Mister
l'.ditor, but there are some mighty thin
things creep into your paper once in a
while." -
" I know it," said the editor, "and
there are Buiiio mighty thin things
creep into a newspaper office once in a
while, too ; and if you don't skip out
pre-tty quick I'll turn the sewer gas
and blow you through the key hole."
Tho man took tho delicate hint, and
along with H his departure, (,'httH,
A lUll-TtlnKlng Roy.
" I would like to ring that bell. Say,
tvon't you let me ring that bell? That
must be a fine-sounding bell. I'll
jrive you fifty cents if you let mo ring
that bell."
Tho sneaker was a mild-rvod vounor
fellow with an innocent look up.m his
taco that inspired contldenco at the
first sight. Ho wns a Boston boy, and
was in AVaterloo, Canada, with only
lifty cents in bis pocket. He hadn't
had any breakfast or dinner, and whe n
ho offered Charley lltill, the proprietor
if tho hotel, fifty cents for the privilege
if ringing tho hugo dinner-bill that
net in tho office, he was playing for a
stake.
Charley gave tho youth a casual
(ranco, " sizeid him up '' as a "fresh,"
and then tohl him ho could ring tho
bell as long as ho wished to for fifty
cents.
Tho young man laid down his last
fifty cents, seized tho boll and began a
vigorous ringing.
As it happeneel to bo about the
iinner hour, tho proprietor thought
this a gooel jeke.
In through the parleys, out upon the
veranda and even up into the chambers
sounded the clang of the bell. The
guests soon became annoyed anel then
exasperated. " AVhat in the delicti have
you got that bell ringing for?" asked
one. " Tie a ropo to that calf and haul
him in," said another. " If you elon't
put a stopto that blame nuisance we'll
quit your house," said a third.
The lanellord, thoroughly bewildered,
both by the ringing of the bell and the
complaints of the guests, weni out te
the fellow and said: " Come, haven't
you rung that bill long mough? Tho
guests are all complaining about it."'
" Rung it long enough ? Bless you,
I haven't hardly begun yet. AVhat do
you suppose I paid you the last fifty
cents that I had in tho world for?
Long enough? I'shaw I Y'ou must
be cra'.y, man. Just listen to that
bell. Ain't that a splendid sounding
bell? AVhat a magnificent bell I Listen
to the lino teme of that boll, man, and
then think how you could ask mo to
stop iinging that bell, l'el rather ring
this bell than eat my dinner. Don't
keep bothering me; let mo attend to
this bell."
By this time tho atte ntion ef the
town otlie-crs was attracted to the mat
ter, anel the lanellorel was told ho must
discontinue the ringing of the bell.
"Condemn it," naid the now V.ut
)ughly exasperateel landlord, " I'm not
ringing tho belL"
" Well, you must stop it, no malt r
who it is that's rin ig it."
To the bell-rinie.- again went the
annoyeel lanellorel and repeated his re
quest, this time a little more severely.
l want, you lo tec up on uus ousiness. ,
You have made noise enough, and I
think it's time to stop. Do you want
to alarm the whole country i
"Just listen to that bell; ain't that
a daisy bell ? That is the best boll I
think I ever heard. "Where did you
get this bell ? Oh! it's splendid ! Say,
just listen to this bell. AVhat an ex
ceptionally fine sounding-bell. "What
will you take for that bell ?"
"The question ain't what I'll take
for the bell, but what you'll take to let
up," said the excited 1 indlord.
"Well, I don't know that I care to
stop, but ain't that a line-sounding
bell if it's all the same to you, about
ten dollars, I think, would bo about
right."
" I won't give you tan dollars, but
I'll tell you what I will do ; I'll givo
you live dollars and the best dinner
you ever had if you'll stop right where
you are."
"Agreed; let's have your five dol
lars. Thanks. Now we'll go to
dinner," and in a few minutes the
ravenous youth from the "Hub" was
putting away roast beef and chicken
salad at a marvelously rapid rate.
Boston Olole.
Wanted Windows.
Mr. Brighfs appalling statement as
to the number of families in Glasgow,
living in only ono room apiece, is
capped by the statistics of overcrowel-
Ing in r rencli cities, given by i. JSa
daud, in support of his bill dealing
with unhealthy tenements. According
to M. Xadaud there are 219,270 houses
in France without any window what
ever, anel to which l ght anil air are
admitted, when admitted at all, emly
through the door, or a hole in the door,
whijh has to be stopped in wet or colel
weather. Allowing live people to a
family, more than 1,')(JO,000 persons
altogether must be housed in this exe
crable fashion. In l'aris, although
00,000 tenements have been dealt with
in the last thirty years under the act
of 1S50, there are still between three
and four thousand families living in
single rooms without means of warm
ing, and between two and throe thou
sand in single roenns with no aperture
for light and air cupboards in fact.
Between twenty-five and thirty thou
sand habitations consist of a tingle
room only. " This side of the social
question," says the report from which
these statistics are drawn, "has to be
faced before all others " a conedusion
which is gradually forcing itself on
the minds of men in other ctmntriei
beside France. Pall Mall u'as.tte.
A tourist leaning out of a nook,
Fell on his head near a brook.
The hurt he received
St. Jacobs Oil relieved.
And he says it cured " like a book."
Great oaks from little aeiorns spring,
Great aches the little toe-corns bring;
But for every corn
That ever was born
bt. Jacobs Oil is just the thing.
A shopkeeper having had a stormy
discussion with his better-half, put
the shutters up and afllxed the follow
ing notice: "Closed during alterca
tions." How can you remain a sufferer from dys.
pepsia when worse cases than yours arebeiujj
eared by Hood's ariepttiiURj Try t
Oar OratidmaOicra
Tliwght their dnnjjhtera that "a ntltoh In time.
mtn nine." A pill in tuna ante not only
nine, but oft times an incnlmlnhln amount of
uttering nn well. An occasion! dose of l)rN
l'ierce'a J'elleta (IJtUs 8nornr'Oonta Villa),
to elennaa the ttomnoh and bowola, not only
prevent diaeaae but often break", np anddoti
attacks when token in time. Hy driiftpsta.
A riRMN of buttor weigh fif ly-six potiniK
Li vet dinorum, liendaolie and constipation,
rnnaetl by bad digestion, quiokly cured bjf
Brown' Iron Hitters
A BAftnFX of pork wctjjlm 100 fdnnils.
Dr. rlerc.i'a "Frtvorlte Prescription " per-,
foctly nnd permanently cures tlioso iliaenup
peculiar to females. It is tonic nnd nervine,
effectually nllnying and curing thoso sicken
ing sensntions that affect tho stomach and
hetut through reflex action. The bnck ache
and "dragging down" sensations all disap
pear tinder the strengthening ettocts of this
great restorative. Hy dmpgiats.
A nAniiKT, of (lour weigh l'.H! pounds.
OAnrm.n, Iowa,. Dr. A. T. Hennlt a.iys:
"Once using lirown's Iron Hitters proves its
superiority over nil other tonic preparations."
A nANi) (1 o-.'sa measure) is fonr inches.
For weak lungs, spitting of blood, weak
stomach, niglit-swcnta, and the early stages of
consumption, "Golden Medical Discovery "
is specitio. Ily druggists.
An acre contains 4,840 sqnnro yards,
I,r.wis, Iowa. Dr. M. J. Dnvis snyss
" Drown's Iron Hitters give the best of satis
faction to those who nse it."
Slow rivers ow five miles rer honr.
Health first, riches afterward. All forms
r.f heart disease, including pnlpitttion,
ihenmatinm, spasms, bony formation, en
largement, vrtlvulnr dernngemen s, acute
tains in left breast, etc., yield to tho use of
r. Graves' Heart Regulator. $1 per bottle
at druggists.
A sqpabk mile contains CtO acres.
Walk More and Sleep Soundly.
Mr. John W. Colk, Principal of the Gftlo
6dhool, Troy, N. Y., writes us:
"Tboy, N. Y., April 7, 1883.
"Having been afflicted for several years
past with illness, the cause of which was on
known to me for a long time, and my con
tinued disability getting to be of so serious
and distressing a character as to canse great
tnxiety with my family and friends, I became
satisfied upon close investigation that tho
reuse of my sickness was the diseased condi
tion of my kidneys and liver. At this time
by accident a friend, who had similar symp
toms to" mine, informed me of the great
improvement in his health by taking Hunt's
Remedy, nnd persuaded me to try it. I
Immediately commenced taking it, and from
Hie first bottle began to improve, and it
continued use affords very encouraging re
mits. I can sleep soundly, wnlk better, am
free from pains, and the severe attacks of
headache from which I suffered so much have
disappeared, and I cheerfully recommend
limit's Remedy for all purpof os for which it
is advertised. I will add in closing that my
wife hnr. used it very successfully for pre
renting the attacks of sick headacho with
nhich she had been afflicted from youth."
Almost Disheartened.
A prominent citizen sends us the following
itatomcnt:
For several years I have been very seri
tmsly afflicted with a severe pain in my back,
Which I long supposed to be lumbago or
Iheuinatism of the bnck. More recently tho
pains had become more severe, so much so
llmt it WftR witU difficulty that I whs able to
Rot out of bed in the morning. I had triod
furious remedies without any apparant relief.
Uy the earnest -ohcitntiou of a friend 1 com
tnonced Hunt's Remedy, about three weeks
Igo, and its instantaneous benefits are won
derful, for I have had no pains in my back
tince taking the first three doses; and am
relieved from the pains, aches and exhaustive
Weakness, the painful symptoms that usually
lecompany disease of the kidneys. And X
rontidently expect to be completely and per
manently cured by the use of it. I most
rheerfully recommend Hunt's Remedy toad
fc-ho are ufllicted with any kidney or liver
disease. WILLIAM G. ARNOLD,
Walnut Street, Providence, R. L
March 29, 18K3.
A New Dkpabtoiik. ejue good result of the
hard times is an article in proprietary medi
cine which gives to every purchaser a full
equivalent for his money. Tiie rule of this
rlnss of medicines is from 10 to 35 dotej for
(1, the best only reaching 40. Messrs. Hood &.
Co. take a new departure, and in Hood's
Karsaparilla they give 100 doses for $1. These
facts deserve the consideration of the sick,
also the weU,Jor theyjirembleto be sick.
ronEHT and best cod-liver ori,, from selected
livers, on the seashore, by Csswell, Hszard 4
Co., N.Y. Absolutely pure and sweet. 1'aticnU
who have once taken it prefer it to all others,
rhysioians declare it superior to all other oils.
Chapped hands, face, pimples and rough
klu cured by using Juniper Tar Sobr, made by
Caswell, Hazard A Co., Now York.
It Ntnml lo Ken unit
That an oil devoid of all irritating properties,
that never becomes rancid, should make an
excellent Hair Dressing. Such is Carboline.
Made from pure petroleum; all druggists.
"Kougb on Corns."
AskforWella'"Koui?h on Corns." lBo. Onick
ijrelief j complete care. Corns, warts, bunions.
Ctrrolithion collars are mado in different
styles, both standing and turn down. The
cuffs are reversible.
Catarrh of the Bladder.
Stinging irritation, iuUmnmution, Kidnpy,
Urinary complaints, enrty by Huchnpaiba. fl.
fastrlne.
A lady says: "When 1 ieel at all distressed
after eating, a table-ipoonful of Gastrins
gives me almost instant relief." Druggists.
That IlRHlmnd ol Mine
Is three times the man bo was before using
Wells' Health Renewer. f 1. Druggists.
TValkino made easy with Lyon's Heel Stiff
eners; they keep yonr boots and shoes straight
FIVE ItEAMONH
Why the publia preference la, and should be, given to
Huod'l barjaparilla.
lierauae the mperior strength of well ehoeen infract
lentfiin a combination peculi&r to itnelf and possessed
b; no other preparation, with the skilled pharmacy used
In its manufacture, make iiood'l Sarsaparilla the best
medicine in the market for punfjinf the blood.
Because Hood's Sarsspsr' ia has. in numerous weH
known and veritied instances, eradicated Scrfula.
clearisi-d the blood of Humors, and restored weakened
Invalids to health, in which condition thej remain.
Because Hood's Sarsaparilla has really and trulj
cured oases of lyspepsia, long standing and chronic,
of Indigestion, of General Debility, of Salt Rheum,
Catarrh and alt Humors which riot In the blood and
break the skin in festers, pustules, pimples and boils.
Because Hood's Sarsaparilla has been found to ba
the best medioine for ailments proluced by the seaaon
or climate, wonderfully sharpening the appetite and
.markedly toning up the system against debility and
nervousness.
Becnuae Hood's Sarssparilla is everybody's medi
cine. No one is so poor that he cannot pay I for abottU
of Hood's Saraaparilla luo doses or i cent each dose'
and none are so rich and lofty as to be beyond ita benefit.
llood'a Kareaparllla
Sold by Druggists, ft; six for $5. Prepsred only b
C. I. UO'Jli A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
Very H ell Put.
Why do you defer till to-morrow what we should
do to-day? Why do we neglect a cough till it
throws us into consumption, and consumption
brings us to the grave ? Dr. Win. Hall's Balaam ia
sure to cure if taken ia season. It has never been
known to fail. Dae it thoroughly according to direr,
tions. Puraevcre till tha diaeaaa la conquered, as It
la certain to be, even If it should require a dozen
bottles. There la no better medicine for Pulrnouary
diaorders. Sold everywhere.
Baker's Palo Panacea
la one of the best Liuimeuta put up. It la a real
pain killer, and destroys pain, whether Internal or
exteruaii whenever uaed. It baa been a standard
remedy for the past thirty or forty year.
ll I M nne writing paper, in blotter, wtti
j-,n.i.r. iv niu mr s ic. a'nl M'niili
jburyport,JbUj,
,V Lv
i -v. 'Tu . , i
.itu... 11
"Kfc THE -GREAT
mm rem
C U Ft E 8
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica,
Lumbago. Backache. Heidaths, Toothache,
!wr Th ront.sj welling. Nitrnlna, Rruisea,
turns, Nralih, trust Kit re.
AKn all unika noon.tr runts u H.
Botdliy Drussliu sn1 n.ftlrrtrrervwher. rirly CtBIAs bottle
lHrwtlMii In 11 tang"!. 3
THE I'lialtl K A. voori.KK CO.
isavuuuanimi SMiinsr, s. a,
N Y N 1 i
No tima should t
lost if thft totntwh,
liver and bowel tra
a (Toot od to fcfl'plth
auto rnnifidy Ho(r
ter'a Stomach
tors. Disease of tha
oftrans named braret
others far mora aeri
fmn, and a dolny la
4i.rrfnrn humnlcua.
).VpiikIS1A, livnf CT'
Iniiit, chilis and
Tpr. oam nit'tima! 10
(wlncfiR, kid nor
wnadiif!, briii erf
on 1'id'lf trim bit if
trilled wilh. jtnn no
titrmtn ttfliiiff thin rf
.Vet ive aud eafo medi
cine. iMiranlby all DrnR
Hixte. Mid lsalma
Itenrraily.
fc STOMACH l
iTTEft5
Consumption Can Be Cured!
DR
. HALL'S
WM
FOIt TIIE
LUNGS.
ALSAtV
itrra ( onsiiinpflnn, I'nldm Pnnumnnla, In.
tlni in-.i, llroui hlnl 'Oillli-iillli-, jli-oni-lillis,
llonrM-nrMs AhiIiiiiii. 1,'rnup, Whooping
nuHh, niiil nil ItlNrHSPa of the IlrrntfiinS
OriiitiiK. It aiiui lii's nnd hruls ihr tlrnilirniiil
11
ninlG"lf PKOPI.F breed vermin, snd
H M M w k,Mp tiitv lionf-kfnprA turny nnins
III (I I If t'tiSTAft'S KXTKIIMINATOKS,
lsv B h tollSoentswurthcli'iiniont Kale,
tlnlv Infslliiile TimMlii. Vn
llosi'ltfa, lli'UKIlKA, Ants, rues, J.loe, jvintlis.
ml 1, - XT V
iriiimiif-,. r irtun poiuuu. Al
iu i rotl'ili,
."Mil
Payne's Automatic Engines.
itr.
Rplinble, Durable and Koonumlchl, Wfl .fimi m
UnrM fHitcrr vith l lesa futl ami trtiter than amy othsr
JCi1f in built, nut fitted with an Automatic (Jut-oft, bond
fur lUustrwtud Catoli.je 'J.n ior lntinnUon and
1'ncea. 11, W. Paimk X tioNa, Box (Wu, Uonuug, N. .'.
Tnfnrmntlon Tfnardina:
'J'HinKaii1 ArkanaaaiKHd.
l,ov I'ltlt K. I.ouar
i'rrdit. Kia.iirn.tur.
lands, unxtuoititf WtitNtt.
llye.Oata.rom, Cotton, (rnerma, and all Ctmice Kruitn:
nnarauhM)lfl,otiurt'Uc nnd railrouHR, FU IvK fare tnll
wtiopnrfh.iHo Und. For in pa of rtitui. Arkajiani, Knn
a&a and M s-mri, with all intormatmn (sent fr ), addr.
J. D. MrltHnth, N. KiiKlnnd I'ftHi.Aat., WiuihinvUD
St., Hiwton; J V,.laiiwitz, No. hl'n Fim.Apt.. litl
W, l.altimura St.. lUlto.. Md. : .1. J.Fowlr. rn
Pafs. Ant.. lltUa. U, Y.. nr W. K. lli-t'I.K l.la.tN,
lin, Kaat. Pawn. AKt., 2 13 Hroadwuyj Svw ork.
PEfsSJ0NSIl5
liirrrrwU during ttiatr wrlcn, lui of a fliifr. or toe, ultra
or partial Iobi f tkht or beartiiK. pi lee, il utirhfr, rhiumi
tttm.orany oit.r liitaMlliy en tl tint yon. iaw, child
ron, or dftpendent paranta an till). I'anaiott prorurfd
where dlchart;e In lout. Now tllicharirfa obtalntMl. Uonor
able dtftdiat'Ki'st anrt nrmluna procured for dtarUtra, Pen
alona INCREASED. Kajeird claima aiicceaafnlly
rir(iaf-utd. bsvd pi and touuty colluttett. EXPERT
n laud raaca. I Trnnpt ntteutlon riran all klntfa ot (ern.
tntml clalma. Advtc free. Ad'iwlta stamp, Jk U WwP,
Uux.II, Wftttblouim., I). C.
I II I aillWIM 111 I W Wis I I I
It relieve at once Burns, Piles, Chapped TTandaor Lips.
I Vtrtl lllinfiitiB llniluua M.ininailnf tmunt haMlll
i-yea.eto. ; luhtnjffruniauycaufo, tt&o. A&kyout drutf I
a giat, or aend to Vi Yxxium btrcot. W. Y a 1
JU IVKW t'AI,F:l IAIt of tUm ISM.
CONSERVATORY of MUSIC
Beautifully llhiHtrated.-M pa:ea. RENT Fit KM to
yuursL-lf and niusM Ml rh-nd. Send name, and udrfreisati
to K. TOrRJKK. Franklin Sq.. Boston. Mesa.
Th target and 1t appnintrH Mntic. I.ittrant and
Art Si'iu.'it.anit nuti r.nr timug Mtftfi tnine woru.
HrM in f hn world. tit Hip neniilne. Everv
ltiUii((ti hum our trndc-iiuirlL and 1m uiurard
fcaj ril K4tW f I'll, TT (X j JIVba
W CORK WH1.I U f'iGluTB
FN! JtmKotlnh tivnii. Mvn.i c, I t-1
I Vt in hy UnimrlatK M
AGENTS WANTED VJAl rJ
easily niailn. Kkn ii run Cllu l l.iliB. Alilrfloo,of
1 H VI T
VI a'.' r"'4awwfcaflt-i &J3V2.MaV7i&i:
i niiimm wtri'ri, j-vv lurk lily.
UT THIS OUT SSH
(by mxil, a olit a ltw ( Gnit. that will tirinjt hi in ii-?
mone-v In Ou ilonili than nvtlilK sl ta Amerie .. A(4
luW CvrUmiy. M. V(uutjt Uiwumich M., Nv Vork.
If ANTED- Af.KNTS for nnr wonderfully Biirraafiil
bH.k, " lAM-HTi:UH (IF A HUIK A,"
7:) pfvtftri. lilustrati-d and letls all i.theia. il. ll,
Itl-fHNKfalv, liibiinliert Itonioii, Iliih.
FDFT f Hy return mail A full drtaoription n
m Bstaai m nit;
dy'a Nuw Tuilor Kvvtuu ot lra.
Cutting,. D.W.Mu
ly A Oo., 31 W. Hth.Uincinnati.O.
IMOIMIlThiN
J and ti.o NKW 1 A KHUN A i li
it i : , i a it I I i i I I : v i :i t
11. DS OK C O .(Hi.
ALU sunt fitJt.
Addreeb A. C. b 18K., Ueuver, Col.
4 a en I n nil led for the Beet and Faatet-n-lllni(
J I'h'ti'rial BtM.kht and Hihlea. I'ru-ea ivdured St pt
C-JUt. JSAIlUhAL I'UULlbUINU CO., Ptillftdelpbia, Pa,
YOHVR UCU I-irn telegraphy hare and wa will
VAI.i-NTI.Ni- liUOS.,
i v viiu ini.ii kivb you a aitu&tiou.
Circular. fraA.
Juuesvlile, Wis.
iniWKl:K, Udjrat rinmasasiljr mads. Ocntlj
Augusta, Ms,
lOl.tMAN KiiHiiH-ss College, IS'ewsrK,
?, . .1. Tnnni
.w. i'nsilioiis fur araiuialts.
V rue lor Ulraulura.
7Virras snd ait nntttfc
aee i week in your own fciwn
DO free. Addree. H. liAI.Lm
II ALLETT A Co., Portland. Ms.
tCI Se)fi perdnf at home, hamnles worth A.freit.
WJ IU daU Address bTlMbOM A Co., Purtland, Ms.
ED
.. iniiiiiiirii huh ixilKniiPil by the
lim-iin-, mill lirvvrnls iho nlulit awrnla nntl
llMliliiexN nrron lliu rhrst n liirh nrroinnnny
iVa! i".'S""U".'."!I !M,ul "!'. '""ruble niulii.lr.
IIAI.I. ! IIAI.MA.ll will cure you. SVSS
llioiiali prolisMioiiHl nid mils. '
1 1 fltif
J "ai rivlSi
l 5'ffl. ' if. :tr
TRY t?JUlr:r ill
AXLE 6S1EHSE
ii'itf'yi
jidtasltrii
AGENTS WANTED. A KARJi CHANCE TO MAKK MONEY RAPIDLy,Bollingour NEW BOOK
a, NEF.Y9-G-K, BY SUNLIGHT AND GASLIGHT.
t. eouiTlhi. i iislit. Til. rom.n... ..f:":1!? .PT.,;5
..art oh..olTi-i , ,Te .V"Ktr.'l : i r ?
Ui UUUlfUll, WllUB VU atCBailP, Pel-,
ELECTROTYPE
rv i
STEREOTYPE
81
I
ll.
4 pVoiKHhflrBaatoii QUttff
lfrttrt. tittort
The ahors Is oo4 Nksftraa of Mrs. tr'la I. ItnM
ham, ef Ljrnn, Wa.a. ri alxrra all other hnmanssts.
msjr ba truthfully called th ' tnr rrlrnd of Witssi,
aasoma of hnr corrvupondonts It"', iff wsll htr. 8M
Is ssalouslj drroted to hrr work, which Is th svtoom
ot llfe-siud.r, and la ohllnod to kMp s4 lady
suutstanta, to Brlp her answ.r the lanre oorrssposrtswrs)
which dsjl jr pours In upon her, each bearing lta spwial
burden of suffering-, or jof at relaaaa from It. Bsf
ritetahle Compound is a medidna fcr irood ar.4 not
stU tiurlinsoa. I tiaro personalty iunstlatrd ttaad
am satl.fled of the truth of thla.
On account of Its prrren aiertts. 11 la Irooratrwodosl
and prescribed by the best iihyntrtans In tha eoaatrr.
On. says i "It works llko a charm and sbtos ranch '
patn. It will cur. entirely tha worst form af falling1
of tha ateraa, I-eueorrhcen, irremilar and painful
MefiMfwatloa, all Orarlan Troubles, Inltammattoa and .
Clceratlon, floodlnirs, all Displacements and tha oon.
sequent spinal weakness, and la specially adapted 1st
theChanieof Llto,"
It permeatea arcry fwrtlon of tlid system, and (Its.
new life and rlitor. It remores falntnrss, f atulsnry,
dsstroys all eraTlna; for stimulants, and rollers, waasv
rent nf ths Stomach. It cure. IUoatln(r, neadseheat (
Nerrous I'rdatrntion, Ooneral Debility, Meoplcanisaa, '
De prsaaton and Indtfeftlon. That feeling of beailnjj
down, causing pain, welirlit and backache, ts always
permanently cured by Ita uso. It will at all times, and
nnrter all circumstance, act 'n uartnony trltb tha law
that governs the female eystom. 1
It cost, only 1. por botUoor sir for A, and la sold by
drugfft'ts. Any adrlca required aa to special casta, and '
the names of many who hav. teen restored to parfacd
health by tha usaot tha Veyetal.ls Compoard, can ba
obtained by addressing Mrs. J, with stamp fcr reply',
at her home In Lynn, Mass.
For Sidney Complaint of ttther sax this ewmponad M
nnsurpaaaed aa abundant testlmonla1 show. I
"Mrs, rinkham's Llrcr Pills," aaysona writer, "art J
bit (Mat tht teorld for tha cut. of Conjtlpattoa, '
Blllouaneaa and Torpidity of tha Uer. Her Blood
Purifier works wondors In lta special Una and bids fall
to equal tha Compound In lta popularity.
All moat inspect her aa an Angel 01 Morry wnosw ss
ambition la to do good to others.
Philadelphia. Pa- CO
Mrs. A.M.U.
SIGNIFICANT SPRING.
A Dissertation upon Its advent.and
Its effect upon mankind.
"Tha green leaf of the new ooms Srrin 9. " Shnk.
FTerrliody recoanir.es spring;, when It Is ones upon na.
hilt mini uenum" in' not toiuilisr wit Ii the east lists at
Its spix'Srsnce. Welxter, Iho world-renowned lest
cosrsnlier, aitel ns a dsrlmtiim which may not b. inar
prT.i.ri.t. here. " H.nne." s.ys he ' lh5
the resr when plsnts l sin to eatste and ri.e; tba
wrnal seaeon. ooniprehenil t lis months of March
April sml My, ill the middle Utiliidts north of t lis
eunsUir." Thomson, In Ins " Seseons," sml hhskss.
IH,re In msnyol ins wirk, hsro ierhena nn pears ibj
ilrsoilhinc it, "d yol "ethereal spriiia" Is fmijhte.1
with malaria, "thst Inshlloii.foe. Iiirkni unseen iu tha
eryslr we liresthe." It Sinds over the fslrest por.
tioi'sof our lend InnsTS dent Ii and disense to 1 1 hmissods 1
outs oft scores upon scores of our children snd youth, an
well ss those in adTsn. eil lit. A iwatileuoe is regarded
wit h httla less apprehension, snd pimple everywhere are
askioa. Whatisltr" Whsre does it ouia. from!"
Whut wlllonreit?"
KinNET-WoBT is a Sphino MKDictng.
When you begin to lose spnetlte :-har a heailsshs, a
psin in your side, hack slid shoulders : to toes sIkmiI at
tualit in restless dresin. ; w k i in the morning with a
foul mouth anil furred tongue: feel disim lined to S'
shout your work, heavy in body sndnpprussedinniliid;
hsrs a tit of the blues ; when your urine gets scanty or
hmh colored; ti sutler with nmstlpation, di.rrtues or
indigestion ;-hTS a pasty, sallow fo, dull eyes, snd a
blotched skin : o. or nil of ih9 common rompulnta
will o irtalllly ba evidences that your liter is disordered
toriiid. or perhaps diseaied. A bottle of Kidney-Wort
Is, tinder such circumstances, a priceless boon to suck
a person. ...
ltsre assertions of pniprietnr. hare enma n posses
less force tlisn ther freuuently merit. The cause of this
condition of popular skepticism is, in the main, to ba
found in the fnct. thst charlatanism covets our broad
land. MeritorWua arctcles are too froquvutly found in
The proprietors of Kidney-Wort always proee all Itutt
n.r,n.,n, touching Hie merits of ili.ir preparstiona.
When we sflirm, therefore, that Kidney-Wart Is
Secido for just such disorders SB hsve been mentionsd
in this srticle, the proof, luo, bolongs to and ahail
folluw this sutement. ,
A l'HYMciAH'a ExrEntkitcg.
Dr. It. K. Olark, a regulsr physician of eitennrs
prsetice in tlrand Isle County, and a worthy d.aouuof
the Congregational Church at Mouth Hero, Vt., haa
used kurney-Wort for reveral years in his prsotics, and
before tiie preeent proprietors purchased an interest in
it he hsd given his uiiluaseit opmiun in its fsTor. Thl.
opinion has not cliangnd. so. ifoii. htUtr than amy
oihtr rrsi'ii inn ever li.rif," says the llncUir; ana
further on he writes: " I do not recollect an instance
where tl.a patient to whom 1 have given it has failed to
receive hciietit lroni Its use, snd in some severe cases
most decidedly so." These are strong words. They are
from a represents! ive, conscientious, ever spproaoliabl.
piihliociliren, however, and belter stjll they are true.
Kidney-Wort will hesr all the encomiums laviahed upon
it by Us Iriends-and their name is legion. Uirilfweaf
by Kidney-Wort ail the lime,'1 writes Mr. J. K. K.ult.
msn. of Lancssler, l'a. W e will supplement thia by
asserting, as a uiHtter of fact, and one cspable of
demonstration, t tint all Aonrtl yutro oj thit Tunedy are
ft. j'rtnuU and aii o -iitr.
DIAMOND
DYES,
TH3I
Best Dyes Erer Hade.
aVa-rOll BILK. 'WOOL, OK COTTON. -
DRESSES, COATS, SCARFS, HOOD8,
YARN, STOCK'NCS, CARPET RAQS.
RIBBON8, FEATHERS, or suit tabrto 0
fancy arttole easily and perfectly colored to any
shade. Illaek, II raws, Urrtn, Itlee, Soarlet,
Cardinal Ked, Kavy Bine, Seal Brown, OUT.
drees. Terra Cotta and SO other beat eolora.
Warranted Fast snd Durable. Each, package will
aolor one to four 1 ba. of goods. If you hare ne-rsa
need Dyes try these once. Ton will be delighted.
Void by druggists, or aend us 10 oenta and any
color wanted sent post-paid. 24 colored eamplea
and set of fancy oarda sent for a 3c stamp.
WEIXB, Iticn AKDsO N Jt CO., Usrllngtaa.TU
GOLD and SILVER PAINT.
Bronze Paint. Artists' Black.
For gliding Taney Baaketa, Frames, Lamps,
Chandeliers, and for all kinds of ornamental work
Equal to any of the high priced kin da and only
lOota. a paokage.at tha drug gists ,or poet-yeld ftsso
WELLS, HU H AltllhON sV CO., VttMHj&aam'f
MOIt I'll INK IIA-Brf.
No jiay till cured. Ten
ysara cRtuhlltjIiwi, 1,(K0
enroll. htt oasn. lr,
Murah, giuucy, Mich.
lL:kJ
BEFORE AND - AFTER l '
IIkWo ipjlincM tn list ei S3 SirfTiUI, t
TO HEN ONLY, YOUNG OR OLD,
WP ""ferlnir from Krtod Drbdutt.
Vioob, Wasiisa WaAKNiMigs, aud all kindred
dlaeases bueedv relief and oomplBte restora
tion of Hkaltm, Viooa and Mmuikb Ousaaa
Tfc.D. The granilnst dlsoovery of the Nine
teenth i peatury. Koud at ouou tor IUuatraid
ruuiphlet free. Addiuua
VOLTAIC BELT CO., MARSHALL, MICH.
!' """ded t horunghf sres. it. rushing el.v.ted trains.
""". trag-ajea, lta cnanuea. aud,
.vt dr. tf?aV
i
FOUNDERS, PRINTEES, ETC
PRINTING MACHINERY A SPECIALTY.
and G3
0.rJ OO I 1 "
wtiuntjon sr.. en cae'o.
VY, UiTllaalMR. Ists of It. Ilaitt A f k,.
. a -
letsaa, U"f ft, Uts) f iluka A flMaoar.
Uudt