HUMOROUS SKETCHES.
The One lie IMcliTI Tnkr.
"Jambs !"
" Yes, pa."
"There wore seven California pears
in that cupboard. Nix of them are
gone. Do you know anything about
it?"
" I never took one of them." ;
"Sure?"
"Certain, pa. Wish I may die, if "
"You wicked, bad boy; how often
have I told you never to use such an
expression? Here comes ma; let us
see if she knows anything about it."
Mamma says she saw James take, at
least five of them.
" You little rascal 1 How dare you
tell me you never took one, and hero's
only this little ono with the grub-eaten
Bide left?"
"Oh, pa, don't hit me. I said I
didn't take one of them and and
and that's the one I didn't take."
Ta relented.
Science Pint the Way.
Science has had a hard struggle, said
Urother Gardner, at the Lime-Kiln
club, but she am now top of de heap
an' kin reward her frens an forgive
her enemies. How do we know dat
de airth revolves on her axletrec,
same as do wheels of a wagin? Sci
ence has told us. How
how to cross de oshun?
de way. How do we
do we know
Science pints
know dat de
great desert of Sa-hary wai once an
ocean ? Science has dug way down an
foun clam shells and sharks' jaw
bones. 'Widout science we should be
a world widout overcoats in winter or
Body water in summer. We should fall
from harvest apple trees an' pick our
selves up widout knowin whe.lergrab
itashun or agitashun made us cum
down instead of goin' up. We should
see de moon, same as now, but some
would say it was inhabited by mon
keys an' odders would have an idcah
dat it was a splendiferous locality for
a persimmon grove. He sun would
rise an' sot an' warp the shingles on de
roofs, but men would g round blutlin
fur bets dat she wasn't fifty miles away
an' was held in placo by v ires. De
troit Free Tn st.
Tretins; a Wilnem.
A lawyer had seen the story of the.
witness who was confident of his
accurate notion of time, and was re
quested to give his ideas of two
minutes. A watch was held, and at
the end of twenty seconds he declared
that two minutes had elapsed.
The lawyer resolved to try the ex
periment on a sailor in the hospital,
whoso deposition he wai taking in
regard to a collision, and tho time
Ylikh had elapsed alter the vessel
left thd wharf. Tho sailor' answered,
"about ten minutes."
" Man," said the lawye r, ' how long
do you think ten m nuteito be?"
"Abput ten minutes."
" Out came the lawyer's watch, as he
said: "I'll tell you when to begin and
you tell me when' the ten minutes are
up."
. " Aye, aye, sir," said the sailor.
The lawyer stood with his back to a
mantel on which a little clock was
lacing the sailor.
Al'.er three minutes the lawyer ex
claimed, "See here, are you going to
kep up here all day?"
Mo auswer.
. The hand of the clock was on the
exact notch of ten minutes as tho
sailor said, carelesly: "Guess tho timo
mus' be about up."
"Well," eaid tho lawyer, "of all
men, dying or alive, that 1 ever saw
you can measure time tho best."
Tnpnooily.
"While Mr. Topnoody was
breakfast the other morning
taking
ho re-
marked fo his wife:
VMy dear, this is my birthday."
" Well," she answered, " it isn't your
first one, is it?"
" No. not exactly; but I thought I'd
speak of it anyway, us a reminder, if
you had anything to give me commem
orative of the occasion."
"I might give you a piece of my
mind for making mo get up and build
the kitchen tire this morning."
"I don't think I want any. You've
given me as much already as you can
spare, I should think."
"Don't get excited, Topncody. May
bo you can tell me what you'd like to
have me give you ?"
"Well, my dear, I can easily do
that."
"You think you can, do you?"
"I know it, my dear; but I don't
know whether you'd give tt to mo or
not."
I can if I want to, I reckon."
" I don't know about that; you never
have given it to me yet, and tlie
novelty of tho gift, more than its in
trinsic cash value, is what prompts me
to ask it."
" Don't beat around tho bush, Top
noody; what is it?"
" Well, my dear, I'd like to have you
give me a rest."
Before Topnoody could get out of
the house he was sorry he had ever
been Ues-ed with a birthday. Mir
vhantrTraveUr. An Einbarraaalnii 1'onltion.
Years ago there lived in tho State of
New York the two brothers Thurston.
They were twins, and so closely re-
eembled each other in appearance and
manner even the toueior their voices
wttre alike mat lew coiiiu mi jonn
from George. Their love for each other
was as intense as that which led
David to gav of Jonathan: "Thy love
to me was wonderful, passing the love
of woman.
In their callow days they were asso
ciated with an incident that combined
the ludicrousuess of the Two Droinios
with the pathos of John Aldm's
courtship of 1'riscilla for Captain
KtuniliHh.
George was engaged to a young lady
in a neighboring town, and made his
vmrtincr visits every Saturday niglit.
It hardened one Saturday that he was;
tjtkea luddenly Ul, a spirit of xarj
self-forgctfulness ho asked his brother
John to take his place; John, for the
fun of the thing, readily consented,
and promised to do his best.
He was warmly received by the un
suspecting girl, and for ashort time so
managed to play his part as to remain
undiscovered. Hut many little secrets
exist between engaged couples, and ono
such caused John's fall from Lis iv
warranted position.
At last his future sister-in-law sur
prised him with the question:
" l?v tho way, George, have you got
it?"
"Got it?'
" Yes ; you know you promised to
show it to mo."
" Oh, yes 1 Well 1 never mind now.
Some other time will do just a-s well."
(Aside,) "'When Giorgo gets me into
such a scrape again, he'll know it V
"Hut I waut to see it now. Y"ou
promised !"
" 1 id I ? I don't remember anything
about it."
" You don't ? "Well, I must say you
are the most careless, thoughtless 1
don't believe you love me a bit !"
' Love you ! I"
"Well, "then, why don't you let mo
read it ? You've got it with you, you
know you have."
" Head it ! Must bo a book of some
kind." thought John.
"Tho printer hadn't finished the
proof sheets when I left the village,"
he said, thinking a "white lie" no
harm.
" Proof-sheets ! "What do you mean?
There's but one, is there?"
" AVell, I am in for it now. I'm get
ting worse and worse. This comes of
putting yourself in other folks' places,"
sighed John, as he wiped tho perspira
tion from his forehead.
"Oh, George, I never thought you
would deceive me so 1 After all that
has passed between us, too I"
" Well, I must confess I don't know
what you are talking about."
" You don't ? AVliy, you know you
promised to show mo tho wedding
license tho next time you came. Hut
(this in a freezing tone) ' perhaps you
would like a release irom tho engage
ment."
This was too much for tho simplo-
hcartcd John. He revealel his per
sonality and obtained forgiveness, but
it was a long time before tho fair
maiden would forgive her lover for his
cruel detention.
Tin two brothers lived to bo old
men. Their mutual affection lasted to
the end of their lives, for one survived
the other only a few days.
Tornado s.
A tornado is engendered bv the meet
ing of two currents of air of different
temperatures and moving from op
posite, or at least from different, direc
tions. The meeting of the air currents
give the rotary motion to tho resultant
wind storm, and the cooling of the
warm current produces the clouds and
precipitation of moisture, and these,
together with tin rapid whirling of
the air around a center, develop the
startling electrical manifestations
which are incidental to these storms
and constitute a very largo elenunt in
their destructive agency. Tornadoes
are .almost invariably developed in the
south we-t quadrant of an area of
low barometric pressure. In almost
all cases, previous to the inception of
any given tornado the winl has been
found blowing from a southerly quarter
south of the central area of the lowest
aerial pressure, and also from a north
erly quarter north of the same central
area of low pressure, for a period of
from live days to two weeks. In the
vast "area of frequency" comprising
the great basin west of the Mississippi,
and including Iowa, Missouri, Kansas
and Nebraska, theso conditions may
prevail until tho thermometric range
on opposite sides north and south of
tho central area frequently reaches
fifty degrees. With tliii north and
south thermal belt of high contrasts is
joined an immense range of country
containing nothing t ) oppose the free
sweep of air currents, and the un
hindered disturbance of atmospheric
equilibrium due to tho contact of tho
southeastern return trade winds from
the equatorial regions with tho north
western winds irom polar regions,
results in an enormous tornado center
in the States mentioned In this center
arise tin May and June tornadoes
which have become a source of constant
tarror to the people of this region
There are two other "areas of
frequency" in the United States New
York and Georgia, The first is due to
a similar contact of tho warm winds
of the great lakes met and opposed by
the cold northerly winds of the t anadas,
r rom this center sprang tho walling
ford (Conn. tornado of August l, 187t,
in which the contrasts of temperature
ranged from thirtv to sixty degrees.
Tho Atlantic, or Georgian, center is
due. of course, to the formation of a
similar thermal belt of high contrasts,
t ccasioned by tho warm, moist gulf
winds sweeping over the heated plains
of Georgia and Alabama, and then com-
intr in contact with the cool winels ef
the Appalachian mountain system,
Hero aro born the great wind storms
and cyclones that sweep northward
along the Alleghenies and wreck
destruction on tho cities and shipping
of the Atlantic c ast ot the. United
States. Nt w York Evening Post.
He Took the Hint.
A sael-faced man, looking as though
he had recently lunched off a cholera
enidemic. went into a Western news-
' paper sanctum and remarked
I hate to sneak about it, Mister
F.ditor, but there are some mighty thin
tilings creep into your paper once in a
wliile.
' I know it," said the editor, "and
there are sumo mighty thin things
creep into a newspaper office once in a
while, too ; and if you don't skip out
pretty quick I'll turn the sewer gas
and blow you through the key hole.
j Tho man took tho delicate hint, and
j along with. It his departure, Ctoft,
A I!ill-RIn?ltiff Hoy.
"I would liko to ring that bell.
Say,
(von t you let me ring that bell?
must bo a fine-sounding bell.
That
111
Jive you fifty cents if you let mo ring
that bell."
Tho speaker was a.mihl-eved young
fellow with an innocent look upon his
race that inspired confluence at inn
first sight. Ho was a Hoston boy, and
was in Waterloo, Canada, with only
fifty cents in his pocket. He hadn't
had any breakfast or dinner, and when
he offered Charley Hall, the proprietor
3i tlio hotel, fifty cents for tho privilege
of ringing tho hugo dinner-bell that
tvt in tho ollice, ho was playing for a
stake.
Charley gave tho youth a casual
g?ance, "sized him up" as a "fresh,"
and then told him ho could ring fho
hell as long as ho wished to for fifty
cents.
Tho young man laid down his last
fifty cents, seized tho bell and began a
vigorous ringing.
As it happened to bo about the
iinner hour, the proprietor thought
this a gooel joke.
in through the parlors, out upon tho
veranda and even up into the chambers
sounded the clang of the bell. The
guests soon became annoyed nnd then
exasperateil. " What in the dcuco have
you got that bell ringing for?" asked
one. " Tie a rope to that cidf and haul
him in," said another. "If you don't
put a stop to that blame n .iisunce we'll
quit your house," said a third.
The landlord, thoroughly bewildered.
both by the ringing of the bell and the
complaints of the guests, went out to
tho fellow and said: ' Come, haven't
you rung that bill long enough? Tho
guests are all complaining about it."
"Kungitlong enough? jsless you,
I haven't hardly begun yet. "What do
you suppose I paid you tho last fifty
cents that I had in tho world for?
Long enough? l'shawl You must
bo cra'.y, man. Just listen to that
bell. Ain't that a splendid sounding
bell? What a magnificent bell I Listen
to tho ljno tone of that bell, man, and
then think how you could ask mo to
stop linging that bell. I'd rather ring
his bell than eat my dinner. J)o:i t
keep bothering me; let mo attend to
this bell."
Hy this timo tho attention of tho
town ollicers was attracted to the mat
ter, and the landlord was told he must,
discontinue the ringing of the bell.
"Condemn It, said the now t:ur-
)ughly exasperated landlord, " I'm not
ringing tho bell."
" We'll, you must slop n, no matter
who it is that's rin og it.
To the be'll-rine.- again went the
annoyed landlord and repeated his re
quest, this time a little more severely.
I want vou to let up on tins business.
You have made noiso enough, and I
think it's time to stop. Do you want
to alarm tho whole country?"
1 Just listen to that bell ; ain't that
a daisy bell ? That is the best boll I
think I ever heard. Where did you
get this bell ? Oh 1 it's splendid ! Say,
just listen to this bell. What an ex
ceptionally fine sounding-bell. What
will you take for that uen t
"The question ain't what 111 take
for the bell, but what you'll take to let
up, said the excited l andlord.
' Well, 1 don t Know mat l care 10
stop, but ain't that a fine-sounding
bell if it's all the same to yon, about
ten dollars, I think, would bo about
right."
"I won t give you t?n uonars, uuc
I'll tell you what I will do ; I'll give
you five elollars and the best dinner
you ever had u you u stop rigut wnere
you are."
"-Agreed; let s nave your uve uoi-
lars. Thanks. Now well go to
dinner," and in a few minutes the
ravenous youth from tho "Hub" was
putting away roast beef anel chicken
salad at a marvelously rapid rate.
Boston Olobe.
Wanted Windows.
Mr. Bright's appalling statement as
to ihe number of families in Glasgow,-,
living in only ono room apiece, is
capped by the statistics of overcrowel
ing in French cities, given by M. Na
daud, in support of his bill dealing
with unhealthy tenements. According
to M. Nadaud there are 219,270 houses
in Trance without any window what
ever, and to w hich l ght and air are
admitted, when admitted at all, only
through the door, or a hole in the door,
whli has to be stopped in wet or cold
weather. Allowing live people to
family, more than ,)U(J,tJUU persons
altogether must be housed in this exe
crable fashion. In l'aris, although
00,000 tenements have been dealt with
in the last thirtv years under the act
of 150. there are still bitween three
and four thousand families living in
single rooms without means of warm
ing, and between two and three thou
sand in single rooms with no aperture
for light and air cupboards in tact.
Hetween twenty-live and thirty thou
sand habitations consist or a tingle
room only. " This side of the social
question." savs the report from which
these statistics are drawn, "nas to w
faced before all others " a conclusion
which is gradually forcing itself em
the minds of men in ether countries
beside France. 1'all Mall u'as tte.
A tourist leaning out of a nook,
Fell on his head near a brook,
The hurt he received
St. Jacobs Oil relieved.
And he says it cured " like a book."
Great oaks from little acorns spring,
Great aches the little toe-corns bring;
Hut for every corn
That ever was born
St. Jacobs Oil is just the thing.
A shopkeeper having had a stormy
discussion with his better-half, put
the shutters up and affixed the follow
ing notice: "Closed during alterca
tions.'
How can yon remain a sufferer from dv-s.
pepiiia when woree cases than yuan arebe-jiig
caret py uowt &rsttpanu AW
Our OrnnflniBtliern
Terit their dnnshters tlint "a stitch in tim
aM nine." A pill in tim trnxe not only
nine, but ofttimps an incRlmlnble amount of
fnfforinu a well. An orOaslonn.1 dose of Dr,
l'ierce'a Pellet (IJtt.lo Sngar-Oonted PiIIr),
to cleans the stomach and bowels, not only
prevent diaenans but often breaks tip andJou
ftttaRka when token in time. Hy drngK'sti.
A firkin of butter ttelglm fif ly-six pound.
Ijfver dineaae, lieadaolie and constipation,
rnnxed by bad digestion, quiokly cured bf
Brown's Iron Hitters.
A BAftnKt, ot pork weltflm 00 ponmll.
T)r. IMenSa's " Favorite Freacription ' par-,
fOctly nnd permanently cures those diseaseaj
peculiar to females. It ia tonic and nervine
effectually allaying and curing those sicken
ing sensations that affect the stomach nnd
heatt through rePe action. The bnck nclin
and "dragging. down" sensations all disap
pear under the strengthening ettocta of this
great restorative. Hy druggists.
A luniiEi. of Hour weigh l'.Mi pounds.
OAnnw.n, Ionra. Dr. A. T. Ilenalt Bays:
"Once u-ing l'rown's Iron Bitters proves it
superiority over nil other tonic preparations."
A hand 0 o:so measure) is fonr inches.
For weak lungs, spitting of Mood, weak
stomach, iiight-svcat, and the early stages of
consumption. "Golden Medical Discovery "
is specific. Hy druggist.
Am acre contains 4, M0 square yards.
Lewis. Iowa. Dr. M. J. Davis Bays:
" Brown's Iron Bitters give tho best of satis
faction to those who use it."
Slow riversf ow five miles perhour.
Health first, riches afterward. All forms
r.f heart disease, ino'.uding palpitition,
ihentnatiain, spasms, bony formation, en
largement, valvular derangemen's, acute
tains in left breast, etc., yield to the use of
r. Graves' Heart Uogulator. $1 per buttle
ot druggists.
A BQttABR mile contains C40 acres.
Walk more and Sleep Soundly.
Mr. John W. Colb, Principal of the Qalo
School, Troy, N. Y., writes us:
"Tbot, N. Y., April 7, 1883.
"Having been afuioted for several years
hast with illness, the cause of which was un
known to me for a long time, and my con
tinued disability getting to be of so serious
and distressing a character as to canse great
tnxiety with my family and f rionds, I became
tiitisfied upon close investigation that the
tause of ray sickness was the diseased condi
tion of my kidneys and liver. At this time
hy accident a friend, who had similar symp
toms to" mine, informed me of the great
Improvement in his health by taking Hunt's
Remedy, and persuaded me to try it. I
Immediately commenced taking it, and from
the first bottle began to improve, and its
continued use affords very encouraging re
mit. I can sleep soundly, walk better, am
free from pains, and the severe attacks of
headache from which I suffered so much have
disappeared, and I cheerfully recommend
Hunt's Hemedy for all purpofos for which it
is advertised. I will add in closing that my
wifo has usee! it very successfully for pre.
tenting the attacks of sick headache with
fthich she had been afflicted from youth."
Almost IXshenrtennl.
A prominent citizen sends us the following
Itjttoment:
For several years I have been very seri
ously alllicted with a severe pain in my back,
h'hich I long supposed to be lumbago or
Iheumatism of the back. More recently tho
pains had become more severe, so tnnch so
that it was with difficulty that I whs able to
Cot out of bed in the morning. 1 had tried
fai ious remedies without any appnrant relief.
By the earnest solicitation of a friend I com
menced Hunt's Remedy, about three weeks
tgo. and it instantaneous benefits are won
derful, for I have had no pains in my back
unee takins the nrst three uoses; and am
elievcd from the pains, aches and exhaustive
weakness, the painful symptoms that usually
lecompany disease of the kidneys. And I
rontidently expect to be completely and per
manently cured by the use of it. I most
theerfully recommend Hunt s Remedy to all
(cho are ufliicted with any kidney or liver
aiseaso. wiijiitAM u. arnuijV,
Walnut Street, Providence, U. L.
Marcn -".I, iwi,
A New Depasture. One good result of the
hard times is an articte in proprietary mo di
cine which gives to every purchaser a full
equivalent for his money. The rufe of this
rlass of medicines in from 10 to 25 doses for
1. the best only reaching 40. M essts. Hood &
o. take a new departure, ana in jioou s
Rarsaparilla they give 100 doses for $1. These
facts deserve the consideration of the sick,
also the well, for they areliabie to be sick.
Furest and BERT ood-liver oil. from selected
livers, on the seashore, by Caswell, Hazard A.
Co., N.Y. Absolutely pure and sweet. Patients
who have once taken it prefer it to all others.
l'hysioians ueclare it superior to all other oils,
Chapped bands, face, pimples and rough
kln cured by using Juniper Tar Soarj, made by
ianweu, xiazara a uo., jow lorn.
That an oil devoid of all irritating properties.
It Htftndii tn ltitann
that never becomes rancid, should make an
excellent Hair Dressing. Such is Carboline.
Made from pure petroleum; all druggists.
' Itnuvli nn Cnrni."
Askfor'Vells'"RouBh on Corns." 15c Quick,
Treliei; complete care, uorns. warm, Damons.
Chrolithion collars are made in different
styles, both standing and turn down. Tha
culls are reversible.
C?ntnrrh of th Illnilflpr.
Stinging irritntion. inflammation. Kidney.
Urinary complaints, cured by Buchupaiba. L
(2a(rliie.
A lady says: "When 1 feel at all distressed
after eating, a tabJe-iooiiful of Oahtbine
gives me almost instant relief." Uruggists.
Tlint liimlmnd of Mine
Is three times the man be was before using
wells' Health Kenewer. fl. Urngg'sts.
Walking made easy with Lyon's Heel Stiff-
eners; they keep your boots and shoes straight.
FIVE ItEASONS
Why the publio preference la, and should be, given ta
Uood'e tiar-JAtiarilla.
Ilrrauae the superior strongthof well ohoaen (Dared,
lenta in a combination peculiar to itHelf and posseaHed
by no other preparation, with the skilled pharmacy used
In its manufacture, make Hood's harsaparilla the best
medicine in the market for purifying the blood.
Because Hood'a Saraaparilla has, la numeroua wen
known and verified instancea, eradicated Scnfula,
cleansed the blood of Humors, and restored weakened
invalids to health. In which condition they remain.
rircnuae Hood's Barsaparilla has really and trulj
cured caaea of Dyspepsia, long atanding and chronic,
of Indigestion, of General Debility, of Bait Kheum,
Catarrh and all Humors which riot la the blood and
break the skin In festers, pustules, pimples and boita.
Itemllse Hood'a Saraaparilla haa bees found to ba
the best medicine for ailmenta pro luced by the seaaon
or climate, wonderfully abarpening the appetite and
.markedly toning up the system against debility and
nervousness.
Ilecnuae Hood's Saraaparilla la everybody's medt
cine. No one ia ao poor t hat he cannot pay $ 1 for a bottli
of Hood's Saraaparilla luu doaes or 1 cent each dose
and none are ao rich and lof ty aa to be beyond ite benefit,
Hooda 8uraaparllla
Sold by Druggists, fl; sil for 5. Prepared only b
O. I. HOOD A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
Very W ell Put.
Why do you defer till to-morrow what we should
do to-day t Why do we neglect a cough till it
throws ua into consumption, and consumption
brings ua to the grave 1 Dr. Wm. Hall's Balsam is
sura to cure If taken in season. It baa never beea
known to fail. Use It thoroughly according to direc
tions. Peraevore tiU tha diaeso Is ooniuered, as it
Is certain to be, even if It should requires dozen
bottles. There Is no bettor medicine for Pulmonary
disorders. Bold everywhore.
Uaker'a Palo 1'auaora
la on. of th. beat IiuimouU put up. It la a real
pain killer, aud destroy pain, whether internal or
exteniali whenever used. It haa boeu ft standard
remedy for th. put thirty or forty year.
00
Ml FIKTS tin writina papr, in blotter, wtt1!
imiar. bv mml for 2 "c. Aanla Httiifod.
KOOWOMT PaiMTUitt Co., NewburyDorw Maa
J
MaYst- ' i
THE GREAT ' B
REiVS
FOR IPlITNT.
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica,
Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache,
!ureThron.N well Ing. Siprnlna.Hrulaee),
An ii.t oriiKn noim.t iuiks xd atllM.
Sold by Druggiit. and n..r.v.rTWh.r. tlt Cfsui bvtlls
lxrMtlont In 11 l.nf". 13
mr. t ntiii rt a. vouf.i.kk o.
nnt vuumaaoui eaiiisMce, adiCS. 4-
Ho tin. nhouWl b
loit if the itcmicha
liver and bowU ar
affcettdfto ftrirnittb
tmro rntrHM.jr Itofttofr
tr'a Stomach Hit
ter, pise Hi of th
orfrint named beget
other far more aeri
on, and a dntny ia
(imrffoto bRantiua.
ItyniH-piia. livHf cmnj
nUInt, china and
fi'Tor. ratly rlti'iimat to
twlngea, ktrinny
watln")f, brina; arf
fna b d'ly tnnili.t if
trilled wilh, I" nrc
tim in lifting thin of.
furtive aud uafo medi
cine. f .ir wile by all Di-hr"
(rt Mid Dealer a
yei,rrauy.
Fitters
Consumption Can Bo Cured I
DR
.HALL'S
WM
FOIt THE
Ciirrs ( onKiiinplloii, CnhU, Pnnumnnlit, In
fliiciiir.n. Ilruiii liinl 'liliiu-iiliica, Jlronclilila,
llonrNrnrnm, Anltimn, (roup, Whoniiing
( oiigli, nuil nil lilnrnaps of ihe Ilrrniliinai
OriiHim. It nmiilii'K nnd hrnla ihft :ipmlirnn
l Hit' l.mtUM. Inlliiiiiril Hint iioImoiipiI hy alia
liMnini'. mm itri'vrnln 1I10 nlulit aivrnM nml
tiuliinn nrrima tlio rhent nliiru nrrouinnny
II. t iiiimuiiiiiIioii in not 1111 Inruriiblv iiiuluilr,
IIAI.I.'s itAI.HA.U uill cure you, even
..rH1, f,. wii-nntuiiii mil JSSllgajIBJUJaSJmHm
n S"aaj W I'KOPT.K breed vermin, snd
p JIM M ktM.p tutv honAi'kpaprR hiinrning
HI H eil!S I AK'N KM h.HMlK AKIHK.
Ultl ii lo o'titawirthclnrsont Kill.
Micr. Itoa.'hps. lti'fltmirA. Ants. t'ha. l.ice. Moths.
Italy infullitilH ftMit1it.!i. Fi-m from poison. At ail
Btornn. 4IM linwMnn rr., n. v
Mh tir (l; t ioi roli!i, jr. .-mii liuxt.
Payne's Automatic Engines.
a
1
Reliable. Durable and Economical. WW furnlth m
ftoTM j.H)rfr ttith S Irss fuml ami tcatrr than any tthr
Mnyin built, not fitted witb an AulomatioOut-otf, 6ud
fur llluntratU CataUK3a tor lntonnation and
l'ncea, li, W. Paxmk A Somb. BuxttiU, Cornm. W. a.
FREE!
Tnfnrmntlon reffftrdinc
TMinftaml Arknaalu1a.
LOW I'll K K. laoo
Credit. KiAatfrlrulturaU
Kye.Oata.Corn, Cotton, (trunks, and all Choice Kniita
natara.-h.uilsi nil itr.Oloa Nml rilprsaHl. Kit I'.K f Affl t ftl
lanua. uriKiuoutic nr-ti.
a-hitnnrch:ihM ImikI. For mitM of iVxaa. Arkanana. Kan-
ui Ami 1 Htniri. with all iniormjitlnn (anut trm). addr.
.1 It M.HHfh KiiirlniHl Paita. Ant.. l WanhimrtoD
St.. Ufiaioii: D W.,lanowitJt. Ho. EaM'n Paaa.At.t i;
W itliit.t,.PA Sr H.liit . Mil .1. J Kowlt-r. F.tV
Un.Kaat,'iaM.Ajct. ,'sff ill lli'iiilwtt vw York,
vi a... 11,;..- a V . If II llni'l Ii I I i V.
PEtJSitJnS;
all PoldLera who
ara tn any maniitr
tcauica vy rMiu ui
nun.li vt dlieeAa,
InrrrrMtl durlnx ihelr rT.ct, tut of a flnj:r. or toe, antlra
or parUal Ium ir npnior nariiK. !. '"Kr' '"W""'Z
ai.i. .Ii.sihllkiw aniitlta vntv WliluW. Cblld
reiior dpnd-nt paranta nttlieU. ranaiai procured
where dlarhari; tn lout. New Ulerharirei ootamen.
-v.i-. ii- , 1 . mriA n.n. !.. nroenre for dtMrlra. Ten
looi INCREASED., KajMird claima ""f,'ll2
urntiecuua. Ua.-a piiv and bounty collmted. EXrr RT
fl ...... . i..L,,, ......tt.m it Iran l kind! ot B'ril.
mntctaiuia. advtc free. Ad'i wtta itamp, 1. C. Wood,
lion, W anbliigt"., . U.
DUCATIOtJAL.
IMS.
1U. KE1V AI.r.MAll of tUa Jom.
CONSERVATORY of MUSIC
Reeutlfully lllu.tratcl.M pates. SUNT FItKK to
rouiKlf and musical frlcntis. Send naiuiA and ud-Jrrsau
to K.TIIl'KJKK. Franklin Mq..Uoatnn. Mass.
TV T.nrgrstand lcvf apiminlM U"tio. Literary isd
irtSrfiii.il. aaif IIOl E.irymiiiglmfiea in the lunrlil.
Ilrat in lhe wnrlil. i:et fhr gi niilne. Krrr
liiit-ltnuii litta mir irnili--iiiai-lt nnd Im inuratetl
IriLxer'.. MOI.ll l-.V l.K V W IlliltU.
ilIDC UJUruf All (ia. . .i'. '
Inujjje. Sold hvdrtmilntM.
IS
AGENTS WANTED V9
ANI TRMALE.-.
at.i to Kill .
easily made. HKN l Kon Clticl. I.AHH. Aildrene office of
i t.i a a
li.ti V illiaiii isiri'i-l. New urk t ii
' 'iH""sisrH Wl
iii isiri-i-l. New
&UT THIS OUT 3
AftJ IilUIU MJ Ua,
ilk TKN OiiU,
il jott'll r-tiv
k tfajby mail, a tioM lioi nf (Jowls, thst HI brinn oiun n.-f
IJrl lltoiiKV tn tu il.-i lli Mian aiivlliinK rlf-ir in Ameri'. AU
v5y luu CtTUinty. Al. Vouiiy, i$ t. rvtrD ich hi., Ntw . ork.
A AT ANTED -AGENTS for mtr wonderful! anrreaaful
M bok, "DAI lairi'l-eK ok A;u:uirA,'
jtnttfH. llliifltntt ti, Kiiii leatla all ulheia. At. li.
FREE!
'y return mail A full dHKoritim ol
MtHxly'a Nuwr Tailor Kvntom ui lna.
(Jutting.
D. W. Mixxly & Co., 31 W . t U. Uucionati, U.
N KO It M K Tl ON It KUA l( l I ii lU'.N V Fit
1 and tut NKW CAKKONA'l Li 1' IKLUN Ob' C OLUU
AUUsent fiBe.AddrtJ!B A. V. b IHK, Deuvor, Cul.
J i 'u tiHial HiMkti-ind Hi11hs. Frita ivducd SI put
A iffnii 'iiiitfl for the Beat and Faatat-aHltny
)Ul. iNAXiuNAL ruuiuBuiNti uo., ruuaaeipiiia, ra.
YHllMrt Mm lara elKmi-liy hure and wa will
lUUilU FiiLFIkivw you a aiiualioD. Cin ularafre,
VA1.1.M IM. ltl(OS.t Juuevlllo, Wis.
T)A WK.KK. ftViadayathnmeaaailymada. Costly
i I 4t. oumt tiMH. Audrtu Tkus k I'O., AuKuaia. Ma.
-TOLLMAN HurtinfaaColletifl, Kewfim, IN. J. Tnrma
fiw. f iiantioiii lor graduates, w rue tor Uireulura,
fP a week in your own town. Terrna and 95 outfit
tU W free. Addr.-p tl. lULLETTAtO., furtlaiid. Me.
C A 49ft per day at home. (Sample warth$5fra,
VJ 1U v&U Addruda brihttoN A Co., Portland, Me.
sW
EDI
(losjjffiirs
ii a 1 d a nn
LUNGS.DHLOH V
Mm
It rellevM at once Burna, I'Ofa, Chapped TTandi or Lipa. j
iterna.Huntiinit.Kcalda.Bi-ulbHi.KorfneBaof fpt,haiilJ
yea,etc. ; Itctiinif fmmauy rue. &. Aakyout dnitf I
mmmaa ff'ot, or at'itd U W Kuiton blrvot, 5. YmJ
AGENTS WANTED. A RARj: CHANCE TO MAKE MONEY RAPIDLY. "allin our" NEW BOOK
NEW YORK, BY SUNLIGHT AND GASLIGHT.
Phowmgup the New York of TO -llAY. with ils palaces, its crowded thurunghfarea, its rillitiiug elerated trains
iu couull.s sights, its romance, its mya.ry, Ita dark t riniesand ternhie tragotliea, Ita cliaritio.. aud, in faot
erery phaui ot lite m the great city. Dun't waste time sellmg slow books, hut umd for circulars giving full ubl.
ot couteuU, terms to ageuls, et-. rroaectu. now readv, and territory iu great dnmauri. Adlras
Hui wjM iiimw.,
ELECTROTYPE
I
STEREOTYPE
a kotxd tit t rsrmKo woawn
ltftH. fatten f
Th abors ia a (rood llkMsi of Mr tffa W
ham, of Lynn, Kui, Itria ab(vr all other hitman katmr
maj b. tnithf ally oallcd Ui ''rxwr rrtrad of W.nas,
Msom of bar com-spnndonts lor. Ir rail hr. BM
Is aaalously dsroted to ha r work, which la tha mtoomf
of a llfMtndy, and la obllgrd to kap alt lady
auutlntanta, to hrlp hor answer the lartreoornaposkjaatot
which dally pours tn upon hrr, rach bearing Its special
trardn of suffering, or Joy at relsaaerrom ia new
f)tetMe Compound la ft mrdlrlna fcr good ar.d sol
vrit purposes. 1 haro fiersonaHy InTtstlgattdllasJd
am satisfied of Ihe truth of this.
On account of Ur fttirren merlfa. is reeommetweai
and prrKrlbod by the beet (jhystrtana In tho eoOBtrr.
On. says i "I works Ilk. ft charm and aares Bits J
pain. It will cur. .ntlrply th. worst form t f ailing
of I ha aterua, Leucorrhnea, Irregular and painful
Mi.niitnatl'B.n Orarlan Troubles, Inflammatloa and ,
Ulceration, Hoodlnjrs, all Msplacement. and the ooa, i
sequrnt spinal weakness, and la .specially adajte4 W
theCTuuigeof Llfo." a
It permeate, errry portion of tha system, ana giaa
new life and Tigor. It remorea falntnrsa, flatnlenry,
destroys all crarlng for sUmuUnte, and rcllerea waaav.
nest of Ihe Moma. h. It curoa Tiloatlng, Headaehea, I
Kei-Toos I'rOAtrntion, Oeneral Debility, Blreplesss im, '
Drpresslon and Indlgertlon. That feeling of bearfraj
down, causing pain, weight and backache, Is alwaya
permanently cured by lla use. Itwillatallllmea,nd .
tinder all elrcumstAncee, act ji harmony with UK l
that gorerns th. female system. I
It costs only 1. per botUoor sir for IH, and la sold bf
druggists. Any adrir. required aa to apeclal oasea, anal
the names ot many who here teen restored to partes!
health by th. urt ot th. Vegetable Compound, can b.
obtalnsd by addressing Mrs. r., wllh stamp for reply,
at her horn, la Lynn, Haaa,
For Kidney Complaint of ellAer saa this ran-pound
anrarpaaaed aa abundant teatlmonla1 ahow.
."Mrs. Mnkhara'a Uttt pills," says on. writer, "an
fV.rtxsf tn th Korld for tha cur. of OonsUpaloa
Elllouineas and torpidity of th. llrer. Her Blooal
Purifier works wonders In It. special Una and bids fall
to equal th. Compound In It. popularity.
All mast respect her aa an Angel ot llercy whoa, sols
ambition la to do good to other .
Philadelphia. Pa. OP Mrs. A. at, I
SIGNIFICANT SPRING.
A Dissertation upon Itsndvont.and
Its otTect upon mankind.
"Th. mrni leaf of the new ooma fprttil." Sink.
F.TerjlKHly recosnires spring when it is once upon na.
lit mini limolil sr.- not familiar wll h the esact dale ol
..rv.lr we breathe." It spreads over the llrep..r.
timi.of onrlend; I Ting, deal Ii and dieeaeelnthiiueamlai
.uti off Scores upon .core, of our clnhlren snd rout I. .j
will ss those In iil.nco.l Me. A pestilent-. l regsnlH
What will euro it?"
Kipnit-Wobt AS A nriirno mauicma.
about itnir work, heavy In hotly and opprensed in mind i
bare a tit. of the blues ;-wlien your urine gets scanty or
hiah colored ;-to sutler witli c.in.Hpation, diarrhwa or
lnri.ite.llon ;-h.TO a paly, aallow (oe, tiiilleyea, and ft
bl'Hctied skin on. or all nt thru oonunon romidalnt
will e -rtaluly l. evidences that your liver is dlsoniered,
"!r ,fd. or perhapa diseased. A botlle of Kidn.,.Wori
Is, umler such ciroumstanuea, a priceless boon tones
'iunBaiisertlonsof proprietor, hat. coma to posses,
lean force than tlier frequently merit. '1 he cause of thia
cnnilition of popular skepticism is, in the main, to b.
found in the net that rliarlataniein roveia our broatl
land. Meritorioua arrft-las ar. too f roquenlly found la
b ThslprSi'irietoT. of Kldney-Wort alwara pree. all tA.er
.rr(ioB touching the nierita of their prenaratinua.
When . affirm, therefore, that kidney-Wort la a
soecino lor jest such disorders ss hare been mentioned
in tliis article, the proof, too, uolonga to and shall
follow this statement. ,
A l'flYSIdAK'S KXl'EnlCNCC.
Pr. It. K. Clark, a regular phvalclan of eitenalv)
praolice In (Ir.nd Isle County, and a worthy d.-acouof
he tltiiigreg.lional t.'hurch at houth Hent, VI., haa
ueed Kidney-Wort for .everal yeara iu his praetice, and
Iwfure tlie preeent pr .pnetors pun-hsaed sn inlerr.t in
it he hail given hi. uuhiased opinion in its (avor. 'ihi.
opinion hn. not t li.liged. "Jt w tltm btr than ae
ouVr rrm'ttu J 'on. tvrr wwi," says the loctr; and
further on he wrile.: " I do not recollect an Instance
where tl.. p.lielit to whom 1 have given It haa failed to
receive le-neht Irom lla use, anil in aome auvere cases
most decidedly en." These an strongwords. Theyar.
from a representative, conncieutious, ev r approachabi.
I.uhhct-il'ren, however, and -bell'ratjll they sre true.
kidney-Wort will l-sr all the encomium, lavished upon
It by Its friends-and their name is legion. 'i rU ttrmr
by Kidney-Wort all the tune," writes Mr. J. K. ksuff.
msu. of Lancaster, Pa. Wo will supplement tins by
aeiterting, as a ninlter of faot, and one oanabia el
denional ration, that all hontit patroit q lAK rtsudy are
itt JnmiU and U'li o -tlt'l. w
nvF.Q.
z z&:. e
'MricP. Best Dyes Ever Ml
rrrort bilk, wool, ok cotton. -
DRESSES, COATS, SCARFS, HOODS,
YARN, STOCK.JNOS, CARPET RAGS,
RIBBONS, FEATHERS, or any fcbrto o
f.noy artlol. aaally and perfectly colored to amy
shade. Black, Bc.wa, Oreea, Bin., Boarlet,
Cardinal Bed, Navy Blao, Seal Mrewa, OUra
tlreea. Terra C.tta and 80 other boat aolora.
Warranted Taat and Durable. EaohpaokagawlU
aolor on. to four 1 ba. of goods. If you have nerss I
naod Vya. try thee. once. Yon will be delighted,
old by druggists, or send us 10 oant. and any
aolor wanted sent post-paid. 0-1 colored sample,
and ft aet of fancy cards seat for a 3c stamp.
WIOAS, ItlCn AKUKO.V aVCO., Barllegtea.VU
GOLD and SILVER PA1HT.
, Bronze Paint. Artists' Black.
Tot gilding 7ancy Baaketa, I'ramea, Lamp,
Chandelier., and for all kind, of ornamental work
Equal to any of tha high, priced kind, and only
loots, a package, at th. druggists .or post-paid frjo
WF.IXB, H1CHAK1MN A Vi., BKilssraa .
Moi'tVH IJ. K IIABrg",
No pay till cured. Ton
year efttiitlUliMl, l,(Hit
i-iirotl. httito oaao. Jjr
Murah, (jiuucy, Mich.
BEFORE
- Ilsotilo AppUucM m m n 33 S171' TtUl, '
TO MEN ONLY, YOUNG OR OLD,
WHO are iufTerinsf from Nxitrotis Debujtt,
y liOttT Vitalitt. Lack ok Kiuivb Koiu ai ani
Vioor, Wash a a WauKNcuHKa, aud all kindred
dlaeaKea.
Hpeedr relief and oompleU rf atortv-
lion of Hralth.
tilckd. Tha rrunursl dbwovr-ry of th Klnw
(eaili 1 Ceatury, bund a. ouco tot iliuatraied
viuor and Manuood Guiaiii-
rtuuyuici, tree. AUlU'ttiia
VOLTAIC BELT CO., MARSHALL, MICH.
oj i.,rih (eevciiih Mrei l, riillutlrli.hla, Pt-nn.
hi
It. aiineftranr. Webrter, IU wuriu renowneu i..
enarsiAier, gitrS us a d.linitlon which may not ls man.
lm,nr .t dere. " Hpnnc, ' e.jrs he. is the eeeeoa ol
the rear when planla iM-sIn t.. Tea-elate and nee; fh
v ?n'l eeae." c,...pr..he,niin I month, of March,
A,.nl and M-r. In tbe "...Life ''"-'" ""rt.h '
eunator." Thomaon, in lna "heaecins," and Hliskea.
Tm.re In main of ills work.. he wrlirls no peers la
iVrMril uii II, and yt -th.-re.l eprmg'1 I. fr,.,ghle,
"'T'i. 'i'V '' i.l,ll.f,.. nrkiinr niween in t lie
ai'4-;
AND - TER l
MAUaif,KY AND Xt'ULS tVIL HXtxl
F0UNDESS, PEINTEES, ETC.
PRINTING MACHINERY A SPECIALTY.
OSTRAIIDER 5c 1TTJICE,
81 and G3 Jackson St., Chicago.
J, W, OsllUHOiH. Iste of 11. Hastt A fin.
Vaua, HVt f, ia. a Mult. flpaaaar.