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Mlf) fl if
1.IFE15 HEROES.
N(t nlon tin li a hero who is bravo where
ff anion thunder,
Or will i ardor hnte to mingle in the carnaao
Orcn tcT deods by noblo soldiers oft elicit
nmifdit of wonder,
J"0' the Held whereon thoy not thorn Is tho bat.
V tlodeld of life.
tTis nrd, always he whoso nnme is blazoned
s . fuir in Bonn and story.
jVIn most merits from his follows glowing
tributes to his might J
ft a higher, purer horo ocIb n part unknown
to glory,
Acts it simply as his duty, struggling bravely
in the right.
triki ng ventures, doed nneomraon, f oats of
rash, instinctive dating,
Do not always mark the presence of a courage
ronl and trno j
Better fnr the reasoned labors of a heart no
efforts sparing,
First, to know what act is proper, then that
. J net, with strongth, to do.
Call him hero, if ho wish it, who in storm or
conflagration
Risks his life in deadly peril to preserve a
friend or foe.
Tfot tho drod, though brave, may cost him far
less t rouble nnd vexation
Than tho slightest manly effort to restrain
his passion's flow.
lE'en ignoble men, and hardenod natures
ooaree and wholly brutal,
'Sometimes spurred by lovo of plaudits, seem
to act a noble role.
But their aim is base nnd solflsh, and their
claims will e'er prove futile,
If they wish their natnox, ns heroes, fairly
wrought on Honor's scroll.
See tho oft-recurring struggles daily com
bat, trials bitter,
That beset tho faithful Christian, striving
for celestial crown;
Is not he who horo is victor far more worthy,
better, fitter
To receive our cheering plaudits win a lust
ing bright renown?
Some there are, both high and lowly, who
ropine not when they're smitten,
Choorful while their spirits quiver 'neath
nil! ii't ion's heavy rod.
Those are heroes, bravo and true ones, and
their names are evor written,
Not on fleeting human records, but in vol-
nmos penned by God.
A. Merlin, in Boston niot,
MISS KATE'S AUNT.
" Yes, lie's just the man for Miss
Kate," said Mrs. Pierrot, who was not
a Frenchwoman, notwithstanding her
name, but only a Frenchman's wife.
From long association, .md from
listening to that gentleman's conver
sation, she had imbibed Freneli princi
ples to a sutlicient extent to make her
quite approve of the mariago do con
usance, and Mr. Pierrot, sis his Ameri
can neighbors called him, quite agreed
with his wife's remark.
In fact, tho first suggestion that the
man in question, who was Mr. Hugh
Sherbourne, should marry ' Miss Kate,"
had come from M. 1'ierrot; and had,
after some familiarizing herself with
the idea, come to bo a fixed fact in the
mind of Mrs. Pierrot.
"Miss Kate" was a lady of rather
uncertain age, whom those interested
in her thought had remainod "Miss
Kate" quite long enough.
She lived in a pretty little cottage
not far from tho l'ierrots, and was
indeed their landlady; and Mr. Slier
bourne was their rich and rather eccen
tric loilger, who had met Miss Kate
ones or twice in Mrs. Pierrot's parlor,
and had become curiously interested in
Iter because of a real or fancied re
semblance which she bore to a former
friend of his which former friend, as
tho Pierrots had taken pains to discover,
was an object of an unhappy attach
ment. As for Miss Kate on lirst meet
ing Mr. Sherbourne, and being intro
duced to him, she had turned violently
red, then equally pale, and had alto
gether shown such emotion and em
barrassment that tho Pierrots never
had any doubt but th.it she had met
her fate and had surrendered at dis
cretion. From that hour the two match
makers determined that Mr.Sherbourne
tshould marry Miss Kate; and at once
entered into various little conspiracies
for forwarding their design.
But tho object was gained. Miss
Kate had got into the habit of dropping
into her neighbor's house quite like one
of the family, and being there she was
frequently begged to remain to tea,
and then, as the evenings was short, it
was too dark for a lady to go home
alone, even so short a distance as that
between Mrs. 1'ierrot 's house and Miss
Kate's.
Naturally then, Mr. Sherbourne be
ing of a gallant style, notwithstanding
his disappointment in love, always
accompanied her; and thus a friendship,
which was an excellent good substitute
for a more romantic passion, according
to the l'ierrots, gradually sprang up
between these two amiable people,
From walking home with Miss Kate,
Mr. .Sherbourne soon came to calling on
her of his own accord, and everything
went on in a manner to all appearances
quite satisfactory to tho Pierrots. And
to tuat remark or Mrs. I'll rrot s, wiui
which this brief chronicle begins, Mr.
Pierrot responded in a tone of intense
conviction:
"Of course, as I have always said,
cheri, he 'is Hue very man for Miss
Kate; but Ull me, mo;i ami, lias lie
asked her yet; has she told you any
thing absolute?"
"She tells me anything everything,
I think," said Mrs. Pierrot, musingly,
"but she has never said explicitly, in
so many words, that site is going to
marry him, or even that ho has plainly
asked her to do so, yet I have got the
impression, somehow, that they are en
gaged.'.' " Ilum-m! " said Mr. Pierrot reflect
ively. In his country, ho could not
help thinking, young ladies, especially
elderly young ladies, were not so
mysterious; and if they had an engage
ment to announce, were apt to be rather
in a hurry to publish the fact, instead
of keeping it a dead secret.
Mrs. Pierrot continued:
" The fact is, I suppose, it depends
somewhat on that aunt of Miss Kate's,
of whom we hear now and then. My
impression is that the aunt's consent
will bo necessary before Miss Kate will
even listen to a proposal, far less
promise to marry any one. I know
Katie sets great store by her aunt it
is always what will auntie say and
will auntie like it or would auntie
bo willing I should do so and so? "
" W ell, well! I wish this mysterious
auntie would what you call it ? put
in an appearance," laughed Mr. Pierrot,
anyliow, I hopeshe won t be the means
of keeping Miss Kato from making a
good match probably her last chance,
too."
A few days later Miss Kate came
over quite early in the day an un
usual thing, for her calls were generally
made in the evening, and as soon as
Mrs. Pierrot saw her she felt that a
crisis of some kind had come.
" What is it, dear? " she asked with
the quick sympathy natural to the
feminine temperament on such oc
casions. " Something hashappeued, I
am sure."
" Yes, dear Mrs. Pierrot," answered
Miss Kate all in a flutter, "my aunt
has come and I have left them to
gether."
" lie lias proposed then actually
proposed ? "
"Oh, yes, long ago. Miss Kate
laughed, and added with a blush, " and
was accepted tot.
" And younevt'r told mer murmured
Mrs. Pierrot reproachfully.
" My dear friend. I couldn't until my
aunt came," said Miss Kate, deprecat
ingly. " And now you nave left them to
gether," said Mrs. Pierrot. ""Well she
won t be so mad as to ret use her con
sent. She won't send him away."
" Oh, no; she will never send him
away any more," Miss Kate murmured,
dreamily; and though the phrase
seemed extravagant to Mrs. Pierrot,
she only smiled, and was careful not to
intrude on her friend's happy musings
except by an occasional sympathetic re
mark. The timepassed, min utesinto quarter-
hours, and quarters into hours, but
Miss Kate seemed in no hurry to return
to her enamored swain.
At last Mrs. Pierrot, who began to
get out of patience with her calmness,
dreaminess, content whatever it was
said: "Kate, you do take things
coolly, I must say. I'm sure Hugh
Sherbourne must be tired waiting for
you. lie has surely ttaid all he could
possibly have to say to your aunt by
this time."
" I am not at all sure of that," Kate
returned with a sparkle of miseliief in
her quiet, soft gray eyes. "My aunt
is thought by many people to be a very
lovely and charming woman."
"Lovely and charming! repeated
Mrs. Pierrot with a toss of her head,
figuring to herself as Monsieur would
have said, some tyrannical old gorgon
of sixty, " Pray, what may be her age?
this lovely anil charming relative of
yours."
" Aunt .N ell will be twenty-one her
next birthday," Miss Kato returned,
demurely.
" Twenty-one! screamed Mrs. Pier
rot. " You are laughing at me it's
impossible; why, you are yourself "
" J ust thirty-one my last birthday,"
Miss Kate concluded, seeiDg that her
friend had paused, unable to complete
her sentence.
" People are usually surprised at first;
but the explanation is quite simple and
natural. I was ten years old when
Nell was born. You see we were a
large family, and I was the first child
of the eldest daughter, who, having
married very young, made rue a grown
up niece to a baby aunt, and lots of
fun it was, for l"was lovely Nell's
favorite nurse, and almost brought her
up by hand, for poor grandma never
recovered."
By this time Mrs. Pierrot had some
what recovered her breath. She started
up hastily, put on a hat and mantle,
and exclaiming, "I should like to see
this wonderful aunt of yours," started
at once for the front door, closely ac
companied by Miss Kate. As soon as
they had reached the street, the latter
continued.
"I was just going to ask you to go
with me and be introduced to my
aunt in fact, that was partly why
I came over, you see, Nell was married
at eighteen ."
"Married!" exclaimed Mrs. Pierrot
with another cry of astonishment, and
insensibly her pace slackened she was
not in such desperate haste to reach
Miss Kate's house. "And is she still
married, then"
" Well she hasn't divorced her hus
band, though Kite once thought of do
ing so, for there was a terrible misun
derstanding between them, but tha i is
happily made right now."
"And he is still living she's not a
widow; the husband, 1 mean?" Mrs
1'ierrot gasped out in great confusion,
but Miss Kate understood her.
"She is certainly not a widow," sh'
answered.
"How interesting; tell me all about
it. There's no need for us to hurry
so," and Mrs. Pierrot's pace slackened
still more; and by the timo they ha
reached Miss Kate's house the match
making lady ha 1 learned much regard
ing the youthful aunt, but not sufficient
to prepare her for the scene that met
her gaze on entering the oozy little
parlor where sat Hugh Sherbourne and
Miss Kate's aunt.
A beautiful girl, or such she seemed,
with hair of gold and eyes like purplq
violets, sat beside Mr. Sherbourne, and
was indeed half embraced by his strong
protecting arm, while his hand held
both her two little snow-white hands
within one strong clasp. The beauti,
ful girl colored a little more deeply,
but made no effort to draw away from
her companion's embrace, while he
laughed slightly, as he said by way of
introduction:
" Dear Mrs. Pierrott, this is my wife! "
and in the same breath Miss Kate said,
" And my Aunt Nell, dear Mrs. Pierrot."
Later that day, when Mrs. Pierrot
described the scene to her husband, his
look of consternation afforded her
some satisfaction; and when he said,
" Nevertheless, mon amie, 1 still think
he was just the man for Miss Kate,"
his cara sposa responded:
" And so do I, my dear Pierrot! "
St. Louii Illustrated Magazine.
The Day on Which Congress Opens.
In very early times, when March 3
was supposed to be the last day to
which Congress could extend itself in
tho odd year with propriety, it would
occasionally be found hard at work as
the (id passed into the 4th. As the 4th
of March is the day for the inaugura
tion of the executive department of
the government of the United States,
that date has become the first in this
nation. It was fixed upon in 1788 by
tho action of the Continental Congress,
which, on September 13, adopted the
following resolve, preceded by a pre
amble which set forth in order the
reasons for the action of that Congress
at that time, " That the first Wednes
day in January next be the day for ap
pointing electors in the several States
which before the said day shall have
ratified the said constitution; that the
first Wednesday in February next be
the day for the electors to assemble in
their respective States, and vote for a
President, and that the first Wednes
day in March next be the time, and the
present seat of Congress (New York)
the place, for commencing the proceed
ings under the said constitution." The
first Wednesday in March, 1788, fell on
March 4, hence the precedence of
that day in our history under the con
stitution. It was not till the 00th
of April, 1780, however, that Wash
ington became President, owing to va
rious circumstances, but in 171KJ, when
he entered upon his second presiden
tial term, he was inagurated on
March 4. AVero 1883 an inaugural
year, tho ceremonies would have been
postponed to March 5, as March 4 fell
on Sunday. Next year will be the
leap year, and March 4 will be on Tues
day ; and tho next presidential term
on Wednesday, March 4, 1885. Our
century of Presidents will be com
pleted on March 4, 1889 ; and the
President to complete it will be chosen
in 1888-9, if we shall insist that the
work must be done by a newly-chosen
President. Properly, we should say,
the man who shall go out in 1889 will
be the completing chief magistrate of
this nation, as will regard the first
century of the nation's constitutional
life. It will be soon enough to discuss
tho matter almost six years hence.
Possibly April 60, 1889. the hundreth
anniversary of AVashington's first
inauguration as President of the
United States, would be selected as
tho most fitting day on which to have
a national celebration of the beginning
of our career as a people with a fixed
government of limited powers, and
with the principles of liberty admitted
in every way save where the colored
race were concerned. Boston Traveller
Boys Will Be Boys.
A boy will tramp two hundred and
forty miles in one day on a rabbit hunt
and be limber in the evening; when, if
you ask him to cross the street and
borrow Jones' two-inch auger, he will
be as stiff as a meat block. And he
will go swimming all day and stay in
the water three hours at a time, and
spkish and dive, and paddle and puff,
and next morning he will feel that an
unmeasured insult has been offered
him when he is told by his mother to
wash his face. And he'll wander
around a dry creek bed all the evening
piling up a pebble fort, and nearly die
when his big sister wants him to pick
up a basket of chips for the parlor
stove. Aftd he'll spend the biggest
part of his time in trying to corner a
stray mule or a barebacked horse for
a ride, and feel that all life's charms
have tied when it comes his turn to
drive the cows home. And he'll turn
a ten-acre lot upside down for ten
inches of angle worms, and wish for
the voiceless tomb when the garden
demands attention.
Many sheriffs of North Carolina re
ceive less than f!00 annually in fees.
THE BAD HOY AND TH E BABY
THE TROUBLE THE 1TEW ARRIVAL
HAS CAUSED.
Itowthellnd Ddi'h Pa Cot a (ioat fnr the
inlniil'n NiixtrniinrrlM aeivisituatlon an
Teller In a I. vcr J Matile.
" Well, how is the baby ?" asked the
grocery man of tho bad boy, as he
came into the grocery smelling very
"horsey," and sat down on the chair
with the back gone, and looked very
tired.
" Oh, dickens take the baby. Every
body asks me about the baby as though
it was mine. I don't pay no attention
to the blame thing, except to notice
the foolishness going on around tho
house. Say, I guess that baby will
grow up to be a fire engine. The
nurse coupled the baby on to a section
of rubber hose that run3 down Into a
bottle of milk, and it began to get up
steam and pretty soon the milk began
to disappear, just like tho water does
when a lire engine couples on to a hy
drant. Pa calls the baby Old Num
ber Two.' I am Number One,' and if
pa had a hook and ladder truck and a
hose cart and a fire gong, he would
Imagine he was chief engineer of the
fire department. But the baby kicks
on this milk wagon milk, and howls
like a dog that's got lost. The doctor
told pa the best thing he could do was
to get a goat, but pa paid since we
'nishiated him into the Masons with
tne goat, he wouldn't have a goat
around no how. The doc told pa the
other kind of a goat, I think it was a
Samantha goat he said, wouldn't kick
with its head, and pa sent me up into
the Polack settlement to see if I could
borrow a milk goat for a few weeks.
I got a woman to lend us her
goat till the baby got big enough
to chew beef, for a dollar a week, and
paid a dollar in advance, and pa went
up with me in the evening to help me
get the goat. AVell, it was the blained
est mistake you ever see. There was
two goats so near alike that you
couldn't tell which was the goat we
leased, and the other goat was the
chum of our goat, but it belonged to a
Nirish woman. AVe got a bed cord
hitched against the Irish goat, and
that goat didn't recognize the lease,
and when we tried to jerk it along it
reared right up and made things lively
for pa. I don t know what there is
about a goat that makes it get so
spunky, but that goat seemed to have
a grudge against pa from the first. If
there were any places on pa's manly
form that the goat did not explore,
with its head, pa don't know where
the places are. Oh, it lammed him, and
when I lalled pa got mad. I told him
every man ought to furnish his goats,
when ho had a baby, and I let go of
the ropo and started off, and pa said
he knew how it was, I wanted
him to get killed. It wasn't that, but
I saw the Irishwoman that owned the
goat coming around tho corner of the
house with a cistern pole. Just as pa
was getting the goat out of the gate the
goat got crossways of the gate, and pa
yanked and doubled the goat right up,
and I thought he broke the goat's
neck, and the woman thought so too,
for she jabbed pa with the cistern pole
just below the belt, and she tried to
got a hold on pa's hair, but he had her
there. No woman can get the advan
tage of pa in that way. 'cause ma has
tried it. AVell, pa explained it to
the woman, and she let pa olf if he
would pay her two dollars for damages
to her goat, and he paid it, and then
we took the nanny goat, and it went
right along with us. The baby
hasn't done anything but blat since
the nurse coupled it onto the goat
hydrant. I had to take all my play
things out of the basement to keep the
goat from eating them. I guess the
milk will taste of powder and singed
hair now. The goat got to eating
some Roman candles me and my chum
had laid away in the coal bin, and
chewed them around the furnace, and
tho powder leaked out and a coal fell
out of the furnace on the hearth, and
you'd a dide to see pa and the hired girl
and the goat. You see pa can't milk
nothing but a milk wagon, and he got
the hired girl to milk the goat, and they
were just hunting around the base
ment for the goat, with a tin cup, when
the fireworks went off. AVell, there
was balls of green and red, and blue
fire, and spilled powder blazed up, and
the goat just looked astonished, and
looked on as though it was sorry so
much good fodder was spoiled, and
when its hair began to burn the goat
gave one snort and went between pa
and the hired girl like it was shot out
of a c annon, and it knocked pa over a
washboilei into a coal-bin, and the
hired girl in among the kindling
wood, and she crossed herself and re
peated the catekism, and the goat
jumped up on top of the brick furnace,
anil they couklu t get it down. I
heard the celebration, and went down
and took pa by the pants and pulled
him out of the coal-bin, and he said he
would surrender, and plead guilty of
being the biggest fool in Milwaukee.
I pulled the kindling woo l olf the hired
girl, and then she got mad, and said
she would milk that goat or die. Oh,
that girl has gut sand. She used to
work in the glass factory. AVell, sir,
it was a sight worth two shillings ad
mission to see that hired girl get up on
a ste)-ladder to milk that goat on top
of the furnace, with pa sitting on a
barrel of potatoes, bossing the job.
They are going to fix a gang-plank, to
get the goat nown off the furnace.
The baby kicked on the milk last
night. I guess beside tasting of pow
der and burnt hair, the milk was toe
warm on account of the furnace. Ta
has got to grow a new lot of hair on
that goat, or the woman won't take it
back. She don't want no bald goat.
AVell, they can run the baby and goat
to suit themselves, 'cause I have re
signed. I have gone into business.
Don't you smell anything that would
lead you to surmise that I had gone
into business? No drug store this
time," and the boy got up and put his
thumbs into the armholes of his vest
and looked proud.
" Oh, 1 don t know as 1 smell any
thing, except the faint odor of a horse
blanket. AVhat you gone into, any
way ?" and the grocery man put the
wrapping paper under the counter,
and put the red chalk in his pocket, so
the boy couldn't write any sign to hang
up outside.
" You hit it the first time. I have
accepted a situation of teller in a livery
stable," said the boy, as he searched
around for the barrel of cut sugar,
which had been removed.
" Teller in a livery stable ! AVell,
that is a new one on me. AVhat is a
teller in a livery stable?" and the gro
cery man looked pleased, and pointed
the boy to a barrel of seven-cent
sugar.
" Don t you know wnat a teller is m
a livery stable? It is the same as a
teller in a bank. I have to grease the
harness, oil the buggies, and curry
off the horses, and when a man comes
in to hire a horse I have to go down
to the saloon and tell the livery man.
That's what a teller is. I like the
teller part of it, but greasing the har
ness1 is a little too rich for my blood,
but the livery man says if I stick to it
I will be governor some day, 'cause
most all the great men have begun
life taking care of horses. It all de
pends on my girl whether I stick or
not. If Bhe' likes the smell of horses I
shall be a statesman, but if she objects
to it, and sticks up her nose, I shall not
yearn to be governor, at the expense of
my girl. It beats all, don't it, that
wimmin settle every great question.
Everybody does everything to please
wimmin, and if they kick on anything
that settles it. But I must go and
umpire that game between pa and the
hired girl and the goat. Say,' can't
you come over and see the baby?
'Tain't bigger than a small satchel,"
and the boy waited till the grocery
man went to draw some vinegar, when
he slipped out and put up a sign writ
ten on a shingle with white chalk,
"Yellow sand wanted for maple sugar."
Peck's Sun.
Villages In China.
Villages, not badly built by any
means, occur at intervals of a mile or
more apart all along the roads of China.
Very good brick much about the
same size, shape and material as those
made in this country compose the
walls of the better houses, while for
the poorer order of edifices mud is
used. The brick walls in Cluna are ex
ccllent better than the cheap brick
walls in America, and but little infe
rior to our best preserved brick. AVhen
villages are constructed of mud there
is a striking resemblance to the vil
lages of Egypt .The houses haveno out
side windows and but one opening,
which is the door. The openings for
lights are upon inner courts or back
yards, and are without glass. xne
eaves are made to project, so as to keep
out the rain, and in doing so exclude
much light as well. Blinds made of
slats are sometimes used, and thin,
light paper pasted over the slats serves
to keep out some of the cold air and
let in a little light.
The houses are invariably one story
high, and at the bottom of this custom
is a superstition that higher houses
would interfere with the spirits of the
air ("Fung t'hui") and offend them,
thus bringing disaster upon the house
or village. In front of each door, nnd
at a distance of eight or ten feet, stands
a detached wall, fifteen feet long and
as high as the eaves of the house, con
cealing the door from any person
standing in front of it. This is for
the purpose of defending the house
and family from the malignant "Fung
Chui" or spirits, which are popularly
believed to ily only in straight lines
and to be incapable of turning a corner.
It follows that when traversing the
air in search of a certain house when
they come in contact with the wall
they are thrown off at an angle, and
thus baflled of their purpose, and fly
in a tangent through infinite space and
are lost.
A Chinese village has but little in
common with those of this country,
either in detail or in general appear
ance. AVhil? the villages of America,
copied from English prototypes are
peculiar from their detached and separ
ate build, with gardens and grass plats,
those of China are compact, huddled
together, and present from a distance
the aspect of a mere dead wall. One
peculiar aspect of all Chinesecitiesand
villages is the absence of all steeples,
spires or pinnacles of any kind. AVhile
Mahomined;ui countries have the
mosque, with its Hashing domes and
graceful minarets, and European and
American centers of population urn
marked by lolly tower;! and spirei
China is almost absolutely without uuy
of these striking architectural points.
The result, is great monotony ant'
dullness of aspect.
A SONG FROM THE SUDS.
Qneen of my tab, I merrily sing
While the white fonm rises high)
And otnrdily wnsli, and rinse and wring,
And fasten the clothes to dry;
ITien out in the free fresh air they swing.
Under the pnmmor sky. '
t wish we could wanh from onr henrta and
souls ,:
Tho stains of the week away;
And let water and air by their magio make
Ourselves as poor as they:
Then on the earth there would be, indeed,
A glorious wanhing day.
Along the path of a useful life
Will heart's-eafe ever bloom;
f he busy mind has no time to think
Of sorrow, or oare, or gloom.
And anxious thoughts may be swept away,
As we busily wield a broom.
t am glad the task to me is given
To labor day by day,
For it brings me health, and strength, and
hope,
And I cheerfully learn to say,
Head, yon may think, Heart, yon may
feel.
Bat Hand, yon shall work away!"
Miss Alcolt.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
The greatest composer Sleep.
Checkers is looked upon as a square
,ame.
The best thing out is believed to bo a
onflagration.
The garment of a ghost must be a
pirit 'rapper.
Should music bo sold hv the chord?
Drum music might bt sold by the
ouna. ..
The briefless vounff lawyer . must .
A-ear his old clothes until he can win "
suit in court. .
Every time a man in England snores
oud nervous people take it for an ex
plosion of dynamite.
AVe never knew a person to cut
rdinary lumber, but we have known
.hem tp dine on shipboard.
An exchange says: "Hay smells
te sweetest after it is cut." In that
espect Limburger cheese cannot com
ete with hay.
American mills make 450 miles of
,hread a day, every foot of which is
warranted to tangle when a bachelor
mh rtakes to sew on a button.
" 1'ou said, Mrs. Jones, your um
brella had a straight handle?" "I
.bought it did, but since it vanished J
,m quite certain it ended with a hook'
" Ella is better looking," remarked
ilrs. Brown, with a smirk, " but Lucy
Will get married first." " Yes," chimed
n her husband, "gimme Luci-fer
matches every time.".
He rang tho door-bell of a banker.
The servant tells him " Monsieur does
aot receive to-day." "That make
lOthing to me. My racket is to kn k
t he will give anything."
- Can you tell me," asked Twistein,
the difference between my cook, this
horning, and a passenger on a new
ailroad? One was bakin shad and
Ihe other was shaken bad."
" I'm sorry to keep you waiting for
our money," said the bank teller to
inithers, "but here's the money all in
ellow boys." "Never mind," said
'mithers, "I see 'tis worth the wait in
,old."
A paoer announced for its columns
forthcoming 6tory entitled "The
Prettiest (Jirl in the Town." A hun
lred young ladies sent postal cards
md warned the editor not to use their
eal names.
" Is anybody waiting on you ?" said
polite dry goods clerk to a younsr
ady from the country. "Yes, sir,"
.eplied the blushing damsel; "that's
hy fellow outside; he wouldn't come
n the store."
" Esquimaux are said to be able to
ee objects at a much greater distance
,han Americans" and as they are
learer, and can see better, and still
;annot discover the North pole sticki
ng up out of an open polar sea, it
ooks like foolish business for Ameri
ans to look for it.
H u nt! n iu a Curious Mask.
A Colorado farmer has invented a
.uck-hunting outlit which discounts
.he California man's cow. Ha stripped
Jie hide from a bullock nnd mounted
on a wire skeleton, which looked as
latural as a living animal. He cut
.way the stomach of his wire bullock
(or "his body, and made two holes
Ihrough the shoulders to take sight
.hrough. AVhen he wants a duck
moot he drops his skeleton over his
.ead and starts out for the tulies. He
.an walk right into a flock of ducks
without startling them, and lias on
ne or two occasions returned home
Adth his hiding-place full of teal caught
tfith his hands. He never fails to kill
Jl he wants.
Urowth or the Republic.
It is interesting to contemplate the
,rowth of the great republic in popu
ation since the year 1790. It is as
follows:
Jensusof 17.10...
Densuaof 10...
3euau of 1H10. . .
uu of 1' . .
Otmsuiof l:tO.,.
iVUBUB Of 1S10. , .
(VllHU of lX.r. . .
(VllBUK of lHt,0. . .
'u-uii of 1M0. . .
Census of loftO.
. ... .VV-K-'.2H
.... fi.3w.4M
.... 7,l!.i.Nl
tt.ti la.si'j
. ...r.'.Niii.oL-o
....17,k;:M.-;i
....'.:t,Ml,b7t;
.,..:ii,44I,;ku
:irt,:;a7l
,....rA),l.VJNl