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TI0NE3TA, PA.
AA' ' Wrip:i-M r.v cived for a shorter period
, , . t'inii, iti (0 lix 1
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"iniiniiiiciCKiilH.
3t
A WELCOME.
sjTh.llie nanny RotWh sho lingors,
.' Yet-Slowly comes along,
With fairy garlands in her fingers,
. With' snatches of sweet song,
tier eyes with promiso are beaming,
Hor aniilos will rapture bring,
The sunlight from her hair is stroatning
Thrice welcome, lovoly Spring,
She brings us gifts, tho royal maiden,
Fair flowors to dock tho hills; ,
With primroses her arms are ludon,
Bluebolls and daffodils.
Tale croeuscshave como before her,
Wild birds her welcome sing;
Ten thousand longing hearts adore her
The gray world's darling, Spring.
J. M. Ellofi.
AFTER MANY YEARS.
" Thus, you see, my own Hortense,
that I must leave you. I shall pro
vide an inc imo of a hundred louls for
your expenses. Look forward con
stantly to my return; and when for
tune again smiles upon mo I shall
como back, never again to be separ
ated until death."
weeping wife could not be coiu
forcfid. It was hard that, so soon after
ner marriage, when the world seemed
so bright and gay, and when wealth
and fortune smil 'd so serenely upon
her, all should be swept away, and she
loft, like a lone widow, to protect her
self. Tho husband was almost dis
tracted with tin thought of leaving
her. His heart had been bound up in bi 4
beautiful Hortense. Sho had been his
Idol from boyhood, the bright dream
. of his existence; and when he had at
tained the distinction of ono of the
merchant princes of Montreal ho mar
ried her and placed her in the very
heart of luxury.
Misfortunes came on swift wingi to
tho happy pair. Ono by one Ida pos
sessions h ft him, and worse than that,
others were involved In his affairs who
were less able to lose than himself. He
could not look upon tho ruin of those
round him; for he had a kind
heart nnd would not wrong any one
for tho world. They that lost by his
ill fortune admitted that M. Valentin
was a strictly holiest man; and that is
groat praise from those who nro in
jured by a man's ill luck. 1'eople are
but too apt to call it dishonesty.
There was but a single bright spit
before M. Valentin. Australia gleamed
, up warm and golden, and with a des
peration born of lovo to his wife and
justice to his creditors, he secretly em
barked for tho land of promise. .There
was a nine days' wonder as to where
he was gone and to what purp se; and
then he died outof the thoughts of the
community as thoroughly as if ho had
been dea I and buried.
The weeping Hortenso removed to
another locality; tho fashionables who
had strained every nerve to get in
vited to tho house of tho rich mer
chant, never pause I to ask after his
wife; and lonely and miserable, with
out frie:ids or relative?, Hortense
drooped and pined, until tho b'auty
which her husband so praised was
changed into dimness. She never
heard from M. Valentin. No tangle
word had ever cho;red her solitude
since he left her. As month after
month dragged its slow weight along
and no tidings readied her, her heart
utterly sunk within her, and she be
lieved him dead. "What indeed could
she think? It was better to think so
than to believe him unmindful of her,
and day after day sho watered his
memory with tears of genuine sorrow,
as ono sorrows for the beloved dead.
Sho put on the 'deepest mourning.
" kept her room for months, and when
she finally went out again, and that
only to church, her sorrow was written
plainly in tho face, which if it had lost
some of its beauty, was yet most
deeply interesting. So at least thought
the young Eugene Stanbury, an
Englishman of unblemished character
and prosperous business, lie saw her
at church, devised some ingenious ex
pedient to be introduced, and begged
the privilege of waiting upon her.
Tho lady pleaded her inability to enter
tain company, the impropriety of her
receiving gentlemen, and a thousand
re.'isons why he should not visit her.
He overruled them all, besought her
to waive all ceremony with him, to
consider him as a deeply-attached
friend, a brother, anything in short, if
he might bo permitted to see her some
times ; and Hortense. wearv of her
monotonous and dreary life, at last
con set' ed.
One having renewed tho delicious
consciousness of a protecting presence,
sho found it hard to give it up for the
mere punctilious fear of what the
' world would say of her. Indeed she
, had long since shaken hands with the
world, and parted from it. She owed
. it no favor. It had no right to criticise
' her conduct. Tims she reasoned while
listening to Eugene's impassioned en
treaties that sho would lay aside her
sorrow for the dead and become his
wife.
Still she hesitated. She truly
. lieved in her husband's death ;
would ho not have written had
beeji living? Of the manv letters
be
for he
she
id written him, the many inquiries
T she had instituted, no answer could be
; obtained. No one knew anything i;f
M. Valentin.
Ii an hour of more than usual lone
liness and trouble she whispered to
VOL. XVI, NO, 2.
herself that should Eugene press his
suit anew sho would consent to marry
him. Sho liked him. She was weary
of her own life, caged and cribbed as
she was ; sho longed for freedom from
tho restraint that poverty and widow
hood were constantly Imposing upon
her ; and all theso combined operated
wonderfully in Eugene's favor. The
marriage was strictly private ; and
half Mr. Stanbury's friends had no
suspicion that sho tuul ever married at
all until sho became his wife.
He took hef to a pleasant home, a3
comfortable if not quite as luxurious
as the one she had shared with M.
Valentin ; and all that she could ask
for was showered upon her with gen
erous profusion. Their dwelling, two
or three miles from the heart of Mon
treal, was surrounded with trees and
flowering shrubs of every description.
Inside there was every comfort that a
loving heart could suggest. The heart
of Hortense awoke to life, to love, to
happiness; and to see her thus, rejoiced
that of her husband. "
Two years of almost unmingled
bliss went by, but the third year com
menced with some nlarm for the health
of Eugene. Twice had Hortenso seen
him draw a handkerchief from his
lips, which was stosped in blood; and
often his nights were passed in cough
ing until nature was exhausted, and
the morning sleep found him drenched
in the terrible sweats which so surely
portend consumption Hortense strug
gled against this new and terrible sor
row. It was the first time that she
had watched over one dear to her. It
was the first time that sho had seen
the effects of this insidious disease,
and hope and fear alternated in her
breast, until at length she hoped
against nil hope, and the blow came
down upon her all the harder that she
had not schooled herself to feel its ap
proach. It was hard to see him parting with
tho mute evidences of his brief happi
ness. Every window where he sat
with her, every arbor whore they had
rested, every tree under whose shades
they had walked, or whose trunk he
had carved with her name, all received
a farewell look.
"How can I part with you, dear
est r" he asked, after his painful jour
ney round tho rooms and the garden.
"Eugene I do not name it," she said;
" you will break my heart."
" But you must hear it, Hortense. I
cannot stay with you long. Thank
heaven that I leave you above want.
Promise mo, dear, that you will never
leave this homo. Trust me; I will be
with you in spirit when tho form is
laid in the earth; watching, guarding,
if possible, speaking to you."
It was his bust night on earth. When
the morn broke his eyes were closed in
the slumber of death.
Hortense wandered for months about
her beautiful home like a perturbed
spirit. There was nothing that had
been1 touched by Eugene that had not
a solemn and a sacred value in her
eyes. Tho trees he had planted, the
bowers he had formed, all had a mean
ing to her that no one else could un
derstand; and yet upon each one of
these and upon her whole heart and
life seemed written, the glory has de
parted." ,
It is time to go back to the days of
M. Valentin, and see what became of
the fond husband, tho courageous ad
venturer. At first he was almost dis
tracted at tho thought of parting with
Hortense; but once the ltubicon
passed, he became more calm. A few
years he thought would rind them to
gether, never to part; and perhaps
they would be nil tho happier for the
separation.
Full ot hope ho went to the mines
of Australia. Day by day he wrought
there, enduring hardships unheard of
before, but bearing them with tho
courage and fortitude of a hero. Ever
before him wai the word Hortense. It
nerved his arm in the rough mines,
when he struck his iron into tho gold-
giving soil; itsoothedhim when belay
burning with fever in a rude shanty in
the mountains; his thought by day and
his dream Lv night was still his own
Hortenso Not a word, however, ever
reached him from her; and often he
shuddered at the fearful probabilities
that arose to his mind. Hortense might
bo sick, suffering; might deem him
dea 1 or unfaithful ; no, that could
never be sho would have faith in him
as in the sun. Come what would she
would not be shaken in her trust, But
as he lay in the miserable shed which
held his sick bed ho would have given
worlds for one glance from her eye, one
pressure of her hand to show that he
was not forgotten, and as be watched
the stars overhead; shining through the
crevices of the low roof, ha thought
that if Hortense were dead she would
appear to him then in his need.
Tho rude miners were too intent on
gain to watch beside his bed, and
many were the long days and nights in
which he lay untended. Aid came at
last in the shape of a child a young
boy whose father was at work in the
mines, and whose mother supported
herself and child by washing. Hours
did little lien Cole sit beside him,
watchL-g every movement and trying
to give him ease; or, bringing water
from the spring, he would bathe his
fevered forehead with his little hands.
A tender nurse indeed was little Ben,
and on his recovery M. Valentin made
the laundress happy by providing for
the. boy.
M. Valentin had been richly re
TIOKESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL ll, 1883.
warded for his enterprise. Gold had
showered in upon him in almost fabu
lous profusion, und now he seriously
thought of returning home. Some
what enfeebled by his late illness, lie
was struck witli dismay at again being
prostrated, and to find that his dis
order was the dreaded smallpox. That
he lived through this was only because
his constitution was so excellent that
even this enemy could not vanquish it.
He did live, but his own mother could
not have known him, so deeply scarred
and disfigured had he become. "With
his first returning strength ho set out
for home. Hortenso! Montreal! were
now tho beginning and end of his aspi
rations. One only thing marred his
joy on the homeward route. Would
Hortenso lovo the Gcarred and disfig
ured face that looked at him from the
little glass in his cabin? AVould she
endure the long, shaggy beard by
which he was enabled to cover a part
of the deep scars?
lie had taken passage in an Amer
ican vessel bound for New York. He
arrived safely, and the next hour saw
him on his way to Montreal. He bent
his course to the neighborhood where
Hortense had proposed going after his
departure. He inquired everywhere
for Madame Valentin. No one knew
hor. Ho himself was not recognized,
even when he haunted the old places
of business. Another name, of course,
was upon the familiar door; and hither
ho turned his steps, to seo if haply
some old friend of former days might
not have heard of her. Even the
name was unreme;nbered, or pretend
ed to he; and yet the person he asked
was one whom he femembered as plot
ting zealously to be invited to his din
ner parties.
" They will remember me when thev
find I am rich again," said Valentin to
himself, bitterly.
He turned into a by-street and saw a
beggar sitting in the sunshine. It was
the most cordial and happy face that
had met his gaze since he came back.
The man did not ask for anything
either, nor show him the withered arm
that hung loosely under his coat; and
hopeless as tho question seemed, he
thought ho would ask it.
As he dropped money into the ragged
hat that lay on the ground beside the
beggar, he said, carelessly:
Can you tell mo where Madame
Valentin lives now, my man ?"
" I used to know her when she lived
in Queen street. "Was that the one?"
It was the street where M. Valentin's
grand house stood.
She is gone from that house, but
she did not forget old Jack, and many's
the penny she has given mo since.
Glad enough was I when I heard she
was married again."
" Married!" exclaimed M. Valentin.
" Bless you, sir, yes; married to Mr.
Stanbury; but, poor man, he died a
year ago."
"Do you know where she lives
now ?"'
'Somewhere out of town. I don't
go so far now I am so old. I think it
is in Bloomsbury Place, AVest Terrace."
To paint M. Valentin's feelings
would be a hopeless task. Hortense
married, but still free ! A painful re
vulsion took place in his mind, and he
resolved, as all seemed to forget him,
that he would not yet discover him
self. That night lie visited the neighbor
hood of Hortense, read "Stanbury" on
the door, and managed to secure the
next house, which happened to be
quite empty, and having its garden
adjoining hers. The next day he
furnished it richly, brought a number
of itervants, bought aline carriage and
horses, and under the name of Richie
he settled down to watch at his leisure
the movements of his neighbor. He
chose all his private rooms on that side
of the house that overlooked hers.
The first time that he saw her was
in the garden. She looked still hand
some, but very sad and pensive. He
wondered if it was for his loss or her
late husband's, lie soon became satis
fied that she lived a very retired and
quiet life; that sho had little company
and kept early hours. It was earlv
spring, but ho -had plenty of flowers
and fruit in the greenhouse, and he
sent some for her acceptance with Mr.
ltichie's compliments. Again and
again he repeated tho gifts, and each
lime wnn a selection mat marked a
delicate taste.
Hortense was charmed with her new
neighbor whom she had not seen.
The flowers had been sent several
times when he added to them a re
quest that he might call on tho lady.
Sho returned a favorable answer, and
under the cover of the twilight hour
he found himself in the room with
Hortense. The sound of his voice
filled her with indescribable emotion,
because it resembled that of her first
husband; but she persuaded herself
that it must bo fancy. Sho found her
neighbor agreeable and attentive. He
did not neglect any opportunity of
being with her. They rode together,
sung together, and often his voice
would thrill through the soul of Hor
tense like a remembered lay from some
far-off land.
Insensibly she was becoming inter
ested in 1dm. He had told her much
that was true of his past life, and
openly mourned some being whom he
said was lost to him he did not say
by death but Hortense saw it in that
light. More and more tender grew
their Intercourse, for the lady seemed
utterly to disregard his scars, until she
4
was scarcely surprised, and certainly
not offended, at receiving an offer of
his hand.
Sho was Alone in the world; she had
no one to consult, no one who had any
right to bl ime her for trusting to one
of whom she knew so little. It was
her own risk, and she accepted him,
frankly telling him how well she hal
loved him who had gone from her
sight, and promising tl.at she would
try to love him as well.
M. Valentin exulted greatly in this
answer, and came near discovering
himself; but ho had desired to delay it
to a certain date, and he checked him
self in time. The wedding day was
appointed, and everything was in read
iness for the occasion. In exchanging
rings Hortense looked fixedly at the
one which the bridegroom gave her.
It was the very ring which M. Valen
tin had given her at their first wed
ding ! She fainted on the spot, and he
began to think that he bad carried
matters too far. He hung over her
with an anxiety such as he never
knew before. If she died now by his
own folly, what would become of him?
He execrated his scheme, and repented
even with tears that he ha I been led
to pursue it.
But Hortense awoke to life, awoke
to the new joy of his presence, to ask
his forgiveness for the past, and in
spire new hope for the future. There
had ever been nn Inexplicable attrac
tion toward him on her part, from their
first interview, and, as she confessed
this, her husband was quite inclined
to be satisfied, and to forgive the ap
parent disrespect which he fancied she
had paid his memory.
As M. Valentin predicted, the inhab
itants of Montreal, as soon as they
found out his wealth, were happy to
make his acquaintance, and remem
bered him as an old friend. "With tho
true spirit of an honest man, ho has
liquidated his debts to the last far
thing; and now, with his still beauti
ful wife, he is traveling through Eu
rope, happy as any couple can possibly
be on their bridal tour.
Thumb Portraits.
If the "ball," or cushion-like surface
of the top joint of the thumb, be ex
amined, it can be seen that in the
center a?, indeed, in tho fingers also
is a kind of spiral formed of fine
grooves in the skin. The spiral is,
however, rarely, if ever, quite perfect
there are irregularities, or places
where lines run into each other here
and there. Examining both thumbs,
it will be seen that they do not exactly
matJh ; but tho figure on each thumb
is Jhe same through life. If tho
thumbs of any two persons ar.- com
pared, it will further bo found ti nt no
two are alike. There may be, and
generally is, a " family resemblance"
between members of the samo family,
as in other features; there are also
national characteristics ; but the in
dividuals differ. All this is better
seen by taking "proof impressions"
of the thumb. This is easily done by
pressing it on a slab coveted with a
film of printers' ink, and then pressing
it on a piece of white paper ; or a little
aniline dye, Indian ink almost any
thing may bo used.
The Chinese take advantage of all
this to identify their important
criminals, at least in some parts of the
empire. We photograph their faces :
they take impressions from their
thumbs. These are stored away, and
if the delinquent should ever agaiu fall
into tho hands of tho po'ice, another
impression at once affords the means
of comparison. The Chinese say that,
considering the alteration made in the
countenance by hair and beard, and
the power many men have of distorting
or altering the actual features, etc.,
their method affords even moro certain
and easy means of identification than
our plan of taking the criminal's por
trait. Perhaps we might with ad
vantage take a leaf out of their book.
World of Wonders.
E'twlu Rooth's Success In (Jcrmany.
A London paper thus describes the
phenomenal success met with by Ed
win Booth, the American actor, in
Berlin: Mr. Booth opened as "Ham
let " to a house crowded in every part.
Tho crown prince occupied tho royal
box, attended by his suite, and fol
lowed the play most attentively. At
the termination of the piece, and after
being recalled twenty-four times, Mr.
Booth had to receive a deputation of
artists and literati who had witnessed
the performance. The crown prince
also complimented him personally.
The perform jco of the company was
in German, and exceedingly satisfac
tory, the play going without a hitch.
The engagement up to now has proved
a far greater success than could have
been anticipated. The papers are
unanimous in placing Booth in front
of Salvini and ltossi (both favorites in
Berlin), and it is difficult to get ik 'ace
unless booked the day before, xlie
speculators got fourteen to eighteen
marks for six-mark seats, a pretty sure
indication of business. The crown
princess has been twice and the crown
prince four times out of five perform
ances. He was accompanied once by
his late tutor, the great German Shake
spearian scholar, Professor Werder.
Since Mr. Booth's success was an
nounced he has received invitations
from nearly all the principal theatres
in Germany.
fi . no . .
Li I I
aVVv V-v' U 4
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
SCIENTIFIC AND IXDrSTIlIili,
On August 1 an international elec
tric exhibition will be opened at
Vienna, and a fine disnlay ds antici
pated. The coal deposits of Colorado are
practically inexhaustible, and they are
to be found in almost every portion of
the State. Two millions of tons were
mined last year.
A German linn has put upon tho
market some transparent paints to use
on coarse-lined cloth. The effect is
said to be a perfect imitation of
Gobelin tapestry work for wall dis
play. In Great Britain the largi sum of
$1(VMJO,00,000 is invested in railways.
Some of the engines weigh forty-five
tons and take a load of ninety tons at
a speed of from forty to fifty miles an
hour.
English silk merchants are thinking
about acclimatizing a species of spider
which has liven discovered on the
African coast. This spider makes a
thread very like yellow silk and almost
as strong.
Jt has be n pnved by numerous ex
periments that Hour c uinot bear the
action of tin sun. even when not ex
posed directly to its rovs. Wlnmlour
is exposed to the heat of the sun an
alteration takes pla in the gluten
similar to that produced by the heat
ing of the stones. Por this reason it
Is advisable that the transportation of
flour should t ike pl.ve, if possible, on
cool days or by nigl.t, as well as that
flour should be stored in a cool place.
The ancients knew a great deal tor
which they get very little credit. A
short time ago a collection of surgical
instruments was ilug up at Pompeii.
It was evidently the property of some
single establishment, and was quite
elaborate. Of course, the "find" was
removed to theft'aples museum. One
of tho appliances attracted great at
tention. It was a b ng rod w.th a me
tallic plate fixed at one end at an angle
of 133 degrees. At first it was thought
to be a cautery for internal operations,
but its resemblaneo to the modern
laryngeal mirror tuggests the proba
bility that it was so used. .
The increasing cost of wood in
America has led to a great number of
experiments in preserving from decay
all kinds of wooden structures ex
posed to the weather. Among tht
more recent plans suggested is one foi
impregnating wood with asphalt, com
bined "with si.inj kind of antiseptic
material. The finished wood, ready to
bo put together, is first submitted to
heat to drive out the moisture, and is
then placed in a hot la'h composed
chiefly of asphalt and carbolic acid.
On cooling, the solvent of the asphalt
evaporates, leaving a skin or coating
of the asphalt cn the surface of tht
wood that resists water and keeps the
antiseptic material securely locked
w ithin the pores of the wood. Tin
exterior of the wood presents a smooth,
black surface that does not need to be
painted.
WISE WOUDS.
Study to be what you wish to seem.
Woman is most perfect when most
womanly.
The man has not lived in vain who
plants a good tree in the right plane.
Hard workers are usually honest;
industry lifts them above temptation
' lie is happiest, be ho king or peas
ant, who finds peace in his own
home.
Men usually follow their wishes til
suffering compels them to follow theii
judgment.
The sleep of memory Is not death;
forgotten studies are certiiiu nptitudet
gone to sleep.
We never know tho true value oi
friends. While they live wo are to
sensitive to their faults ; when w
have lost them we only see theii
virtues.
Tho best rules to form a man'i
character are to talk little and heai
much, to reflect alono on what hat
passed in company, to distrust one'i
own opinion, and value others that
deserve it.
It is easy to live in this world's
opinion ; it is easy(in solitude to liv
after your own ; but the great man is
ho who, in tho midst of the crowd,
keeps with perfect sweetness the in
dependence of solitude.
If there is anything which even a
very clever young man ought to con
gratulate himself on, it is the knowl
edge, early acquired, that he is not I
genius. Por if ho thinks otherwise,
the chances are that the mistake may
spoil him ; while if ho proves to be a
genius, the world will find it out before
he does.
It has never been ascertained pre
cisely what the scorpion lives on. Per
haps he is sustained by the conscious
ness of knowing that he is a pedipal
pous pulmonary arachnidan. AVehave
known some people with high-sounding
titles whose mode of making both
-nds meet was a profound mystery to
t lie general public Nobody ever has
been known to die from the rebuke of
a scorpion, but that they cause a spe
cies of madne.'s will not be denied by
anybody who has been btung. If the
sufferer is not dial for the tyne, be
talks as if he was. -iiftiwjs. ,
flATTO OF ADVERTISING.
One frqitsre, on inch, on iniwtio... $T
On f"i anri, one inch, one month IS
(hie Hiinnre, one inch, three monlhi. ..
One Hiinnre. one inch, one year... Me
Two fciinsres, one year I
Qnarter Column, one year W
Half Oolnmn, one rear
On Column, one year K M
lgal notice at established rate.
Marriage and death notieee gratis.
All bill lor yearly advertisement eolUatml
quarterly. Temporary advertisement att
be paid in advance.
Job work, cash on delivery.
THE HAPPT E3IiA2rD&
Herofttna about the town from dawa 8.
dark,
in old man with bent form and whitened
hair, ' -
Who dreams the arth he treads on is a bark -'
That sails to find a shore loreye fair, ' .
The shore so many seek and do not find.' ' -.'
Among the busy crowd, he heeds it not,
Bat goes and comes to all our pleasnr
blind; ,
The world he lives in p eois by him forgot.
Sometimes he stops one ir. the crowded
throng
And questions thus: "Why do w sail so
far?
I know full well the vessel's course is :
wrong,
For farther sonth the Happy Inlands are.
And we are near them, for last night I heard
The sound of ' mnsie coming from their
shores,
And caught the scent of flowers, and on
bright bird
Flew homeward, over us, to roam no more
I almoet thought I saw them in the dawn,
Fair as the rosy peaks of Paradise: ' !
Bat when the day broke fully they were gone.
Far, farther south the shore we search for
lies!
Pray God they turn the vessel ere too late! . (
Must we sail by, 89 many times betOre?
They make mistakes and lay it all to Fate
That we have never reached the longed-f oi
shore." .'-"..
And as he talks the old mau'e eager eyes :
Are looking southward, where he hopes to
see 11
The purple peaks, crowned with tfVrang
glory, rife ' ' i
'Neath fairer skies than thos of Italy.
No sight of land breaks on his- hopef nl eyes.
"Ah, we have missed them, as eo oft be
fore! And we were near, .so near to them," h
cries.
"Must wo sail on and on forovermore?"
Where are oar Happy Islands? Must we sail
Forever past them when so near tbey
seem?
Blow from the shores v left, O'a favoring
gale,
And waft us to the shores that haunt each
dream! v. -
Oh, fellow voyagers, pray God we find .'V
The land we seek and do not pass it by!
Oh, blow ns to the south, inconstant wind!
For there, we think, tho Happy Inlands lie
Eben E. Rexford, ii The Continent
IIUMOK OF THE DAY.
A fat office The soap-boiler's.
Headquarters Tho hatter's store.
Carvers of their own fortuuos
Butchers.
The early angler catches the worm
ind a cold.
Every carpenter h;w a plane duty
before him.
To the average Athenian the dear
est spot on earth is tho Greece spot.
A sermon always seems short to the
woman who wears her new bonnet t
church for the first time New York
Commercial.
"There is a coolness between us;
good-bye," said tho fish under the ice
to the fisherman on top, who was try
ing to break through and catch him'.
The Drummer.
It the report that General Sherman
kisses every girl to whom lie is intro
duced has any truth in it, we don't
wonder that so m:wy of our young
men have military ambition. Oil City
liliz:ird.
Oliver Wendell Holmes says that
oad air, bad whisky and irregular hab
its keep the doctors alive. He must
be mistaken. Those very things have
killed several doctors in this city.
I'hayuiw.
A man at a New York hotel tabb
the other day, had some Liniburger
cheese sent to' him. A littlo boy who
sat beside him turned to his mothei
and exclaimed: "Mamma, how I whh
I was deaf and dumb in my nose."
Mine. Scalchi, of the Patti troupe,
sings three times a week and gets
t2,')M per month. She began life as a
scrubber in t'ueCovent Garden theatre.
Her voice, therefore, . should be
soaprano, but it ian't.-i'Ulsl urj
yruph.
This Is the way that a Galveston
J Texas) paper "drops into poetry" :
' Early to bed and early to rise makei
a' m an healthy, wealthy and wise: but
still it won't work, however hard he
tries, in bringing him wealth unless
be advertise."
AVhat can a man say to this excla
mation from the Wouittn Suffragist:
"Women ara called the 'weaker sex'
and yet, up to the hour of going ti
press, not one of her sex iu this coun
try has shown enough intellectual
weakness to embark in tho weather
prophet business, or attempt to eat
sixty quail hi thirty days.'
TBS XIXmNT.-
Their pa
tient said
They must
Not wed.
Quoth he,
, "lot's fly
To par
Son nigh."
Quoth she,
"Ay! Ay!"
-A TALK.
From win
Dow ope '
There hung
A rope,
By which
To slop.
Without
A sound
Bhe reached
The ground,
Hr lov-
r found.
One night
She roxe.
Took her Tl ey flod,
Uttet cloth-", Were wed.
Wliil Pop Knougb HUd.
Did do..
Arthur Let, in Puck.